Peanuts.
Honey roasted peanuts.
Rainbow Dash couldn't remember the last time she ate any of those. They were definitely tasty. Pegasi salesponies used to serve them out in the open atop a floating cloud vendor that orbited the lateral residential beds of Cloudsdale. The salty/sugary taste reminded Rainbow Dash of early days at Flight Camp. Hanging out by the bleachers and giggling the hours away with Gilda. In the afternoon, she'd spare a few of the peanuts and slip them secretly into Fluttershy's saddlebag when the dainty pegasus wasn't looking. She was always so thin and gangly; she always looked like she could use more food in her. Of course, Rainbow Dash wouldn't ever admit to that.
Perhaps she could go shopping for some honey roasted peanuts. Her taste buds could use the nostalgia trip. Also—there was no telling how the Noble Jury would react. Belle and Kera would appreciate it for certain. Josho, no doubt. Pilate and Roarke—that was anypony's guess. Ebon would want to make some new recipe out of it and Eagle Eye would undoubtedly humor him over how good it tasted.
Rainbow Dash wondered who would be able to help her procure some. She thought of Booster Spice—he knew the Alafreon countryside well enough. If nothing else, he might be able to procure some peanuts from the western fringes of Val Roa, presuming there weren't any naga or Cartel members encroaching upon the farmland.
Now as for the honey...
"... ... ..." Rainbow's brow furrowed.
A lot of time had passed between Flight Camp and Alafreo. Months? Years? Something about clouds and continents. Explosions. A big violet dragon and a bloodied wing.
"Rainbow Dash..."
Rainbow didn't have time to go searching for honey roasted peanuts. She had to take down Chrysalis... or was it Revan... or was it Verlax—
"Rainbow Dash!!!"
Her eyelids fluttered open. The air was wind and turbulence. A screaming unicorn fell beside her in a lavender streak.
"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight Sparkle shrieked. "Pull up!""
Ground.
Rainbow's ruby lightning bolt illuminated a shrinking spotlight across a patch of arid rock.
Definitely ground.
"Nuts!" Rainbow Dash shouted. She pivoted her wings, finally redirecting the dive of her limp body.
SWOOOOOOOOOSH! She pulled up at the very last second. Her fuzzy belly burned from the frictious contact it made with the platateu below. But—within the next breath—she had flapped her wings and thrown herself high enough to avoid a cleft of rocks.
Barely.
"Ooomf!"
She plowed through an erratic pocket of air, barreled sideways, and grinded to a dusty halt against the surface of the wasteland.
As her body came to a stop, she felt wet all over. Her mind went into overdrive, and she rationalized that it was frost from her high-altitude climb melting across her fuzzy features.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." She groaned, allowing her battered muscles to lay limp. "...ho ho ho ho ho hohhhhhhhhhhh-boyoooooo..." She coughed, sputtered, and rolled over. "Whelp... so much for the Rainbow Space Program."
Her head fell back...
...and an upside down lavender frown came into view.
Rainbow waved a limp hoof. "Hiya, toots," her voice cracked.
"Stay right where you are, Rainbow," Twilight Sparkle grumbled.
Rainbow blinked. "... ... ...consider it done."
"Rrrrngh!" Twilight dashed forward and began swinging her hooves violently. They phased through Rainbow's skull with constant lavender bursts of ghostly light.
Rainbow squinted into the unicorn barrage. "What are you doing?"
"Pretending to hit you!" Twilight snarled, not letting loose.
"Ah. Cool." Rainbow wheezed. "Could you pretend to go get me a grilled cheese sandwich while you're at it?!"
"Do you have a single serious bone in your body?!"
"Totally!" Rainbow rasped. "It just so happens that my body is hungry!"
"Rrrrgh... Rainbow..."
"I'm not kidding. I came to dreaming of honey roasted peanuts."
Twilight grunted and pretended to kick and buck Rainbow's spine.
Rainbow sighed, eyes rolling. "Twilight, you're an egghead. Not an eggbeater, will you knock it off?!"
"Well, will you stop doing stupid things and try to be serious about your well-being for once?!" Twilight yelped, nearly hyperventilating.
"Okay... hold the sound stone." Rainbow sat up with a glaring frown. "I found you guys again, and I was super friggin' serious. Then the Quade happened."
"Rainbow—"
"So I tried to let loose a bit! Then Verlax happened!" She waved one hoof. "I get half of my ghost friends telling me I need to relax." She waved the other hoof. "I get the others telling me I gotta put on my war face..."
"Being relaxed doesn't mean being stupid!"
"Stupid's gotten me to a lot of places!"
"That's not stupidity! That's luck!"
"Easy for you to say!" Rainbow Dash hobbled up to her hooves and shouted in the middle of the darkness. "I could have stayed in Val Roa and thrown allllllll of this behind me! But no! I did the stupid thing! And I didn't get through to the other side of the Choke to embrace your nerdiness again just through sheer luck! There's a purpose to all of this! To me! I'm the Austraeoh! Sometimes... I-I just gotta push, Twilight! Things come together when they need to come together!"
"Did Commander Hurricane think the same thing?!" Twilight frowned. "How far did she get?!"
Rainbow blinked at her. Another eye roll, and she slumped down onto her haunches with an adolescent pouch. "Just what does everypony friggin' want from me, anyways?"
"You've gotta find a middle ground, Rainbow!" Twilight said, her voice becoming slightly softer. She trotted around the mare and stared with eyes full of concern. "Every time you get too serious, you do something crazy. And every time you get too sure of yourself, you go full monster."
"Jee, thanks."
"Rainbow, what I'm trying to tell you is that you have to find a balance! Discover what works for you on the whole and not test the waters so wildly!"
"Twilight, what balance is there to find?!" Rainbow gestured wildly. "I was on my own for over a year before I discovered you and the other girls could come back. And now I'm on the Dark Side, accompanied by a group a badasses whom I didn't even know about months ago. Don't you see?! It's always changing! I just..." She hugged herself, staring off across the star-lit plains. "...I just want to be ahead of the curve for once." She gulped. "I'm sick and tired of regretting everything in hindsight."
"Well, you pick the dumbest ways to try and solve it."
"Yeah." Rainbow exhaled. "I do."
Twilight stared in silence.
Rainbow sat, unmoving.
"... ... ...you need a break," Twilight said.
"Hmrfff..." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Celestia knows I can't afford one—"
"You need a break," Twilight reinforced with a frown. "Take a few days to just rest and relax inside of Darkreach."
"Ha!"
"Do it!" Twilight frowned. "Relax. Stop stressing yourself over the fate of your journey or the fate of the Herald. Sit down and rest your mind and center yourself. Or—I swear to Luna—the girls and I are going to go on strike."
Rainbow gave her a curious squint. "You can actually do that?"
Twilight smiled devilishly. "It'll just be you, Discord, and the walls of Darkreach. Think you can manage on your own?"
"... ... ...that's unbelievably evil and cruel. Even for you."
"I can do stupid things too."
"No you can't." Wincing, Rainbow Dash stumbled up to her aching hooves and turned about. "Won't give you the satisfaction."
"Does that mean you'll take it easy for the next few days?"
"No. It just means that I won't give you the satisfaction."
"Rainbow..."
"Ah. There." Rainbow Dash pointed. "Found the mesa."
"That's not the mesa."
"Then help me find the mesa."
"Not until you promise never to do something stupid like that again."
"Twilight—"
"I mean it!"
Rainbow groaned. "Twilight Sparkle, I—Rainbow Danger Dash—promise never to fly so high into the sky that I almost pierce the heavens and lose consciousness and fall to my death ever again."
"Mrmmmmmm..."
"Good enough?"
"Will you say it again with the Herald present?"
"Oh you've gotta be—"
"Will you?!"
"Yes! I'll say it with them present!" Rainbow's tail flicked. "I'll confess my sins and let Logan sit me in the corner."
"Good. Now that's better."
"So... where's the mesa?"
"Uhm..." Twilight pointed nervously. "You're looking at it."
Rainbow groaned and began flying limply in the structure's direction. "I think I'd much prefer you beating my face to a pulp."
"Once we're back in Equestria, we can talk it over."
"Yeah, if I make it that far."
"That's the point."
After almost nine days of spending 10+ hours a day reading, I've done it - I'm caught up.
Great series and great chapter, IC.
Goddamnit Twilight, the fate of the entire fucking world is at stake and you would jeporadize it over a promise?!
Sometimes I just want to grab Twi and strangle her incorporeal ass
Hm... I wonder if Bookhorse has the potential to be Suplexhorse.
On another note, Rainbow doing stupid things! That's worked well in the past before, eh? Eh?
...
I'm serious, it's worked before.
Addendum:
Very clever within context. I applaud you IC.
Twilight doesn't understand that things like relaxing can't be forced, they have to come naturally.
8368784
Wait
Hold the fucking sound stone
You managed to read 3.3 million words...
In nine days. Nine. Goddamn. Days
That has to be some kind of world record. When this series is finished and finally gets the recognition it so rightfully deserves, I wouldn't be surprised if the Guiness Book of World Records features this series in it for people who have read it the fastest.
Also welcome to the front row seats!
Why do I have a feeling sooner or later she's gonna break that promise?
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Welcome also how'd you even read that much so fast?!?!
Hey.
Hey there, Dashie.
Yes. Hi. Good. I have your attention.
See this?
Yeah, this.
See this thing?
See it, nice and clear right here?
Yes, the thing you keep flying towards.
The thing you keep missing, somehow.
See it?
It's the point.
Well as much as I hope that finally talked some sense into Rainbow, because Twilight is right she needs to find a balance, I doubt this will be the last we see of this conversation.
8368993
What she really needs to find her balance is Discord. When her light of Harmony and her darkness of chaos come into balance. Then and only then can she be the true Spark.
As stupid as it was, I think Dash needed that.
Also, she has a point. So far they're reacting to things, not planning. I get where Dash is coming from, she'd feel more at ease knowing what's ahead, and that they've had the chance to plan everything out for once, as opposed to flying by their tails.
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All these new catch ups, and they're getting faster.
-Through the path long forgotten, into the darkness long begotten. Ofolrodi.
I'm really liking what you've done with the girls taking shifts IC. They feel a lot more like integral characters to the story with one on one time for character building instead of a collection of power ups that chime in with their opinions from time to time.
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Welcome!
8368784
Ah the old hardcore read. I do that from time to time.
8368806
Yeah, it depends on how hardcore you are about it. I mean it took me about 3 days for Project Horizons... and that was at work.
Rainbow starts to slip off into a dangerous territory. Strong confidence is one thing, but to willingly jeopardise yourself in every hairy situation because you believe in fate to solve it for you? That attitude begs for trouble.
Then again, she is Rainbow Dash.
8368784
And I thought Merula was a machine.
Its weird how "stupidity" has become something of a talking point with Dash. Like on one hand its been cast in a virtuous light. Like in order to do something awesome you have to be a certain kind of stupid. On the other hand, pretty much every cock-up Dash has ever made could arguably be blamed upon that exact same stupidity.
Perhaps what Twilight really needs Dash to balance isn't her seriousness, but her stupidity.
Maybe it more or less breaks down to doing the smart thing isn't always the same as doing the right thing, or the thing that will lead to the most awesome results, but without exercising any intelligence or capacity to think through a situation leads to that same awesome stupidity smashing itself face first into walls it shouldn't have, to do damage and cause harm it shouldn't have.
Dash does need balance. A pathway between awesome stupidity and... stupid stupidity.
8368784
Welcome to the dark side! We used to have cake and punch, but our rations dried up long ago! Really need to look into getting some snacks... maybe some peanuts?
Regardless, welcome to the private hell of waiting for updates.
8368784
Hello from the other side
Welcome to our darksided ride!
As someone who literally ran out of honey roasted peanuts about 10 minutes ago, I empathise with Dash heavily. :c
And for the love of all that's holy, get some goddamn rest. Awesome stupidity over suicidal stupidity is preferred.
8368784
Goddamn dude, you're insanely fast. Welcome to the front lines!
Of course, now you get your daily dose of Easthorse rationed. Pros and cons I suppose.
8368784
Screw the reading speed, what's incredible there is that you got to the most recent chapter just as it was published in time to post the first comment.
8368793
Really? I think Twilight's doing a good thing here. Rainbow needs to learn to actually listen sometimes.
8368784
Glad to see another make it to the front lines. Welcome aboard the Dark Reaper!
Welcome to Earth.
Missed the Petunias, but left her feeling a bit of a Pansy?
Where the other pegasus I forgot the name off cos Im old that I thought Dash left behind when she started on the Road To Jebediah?
Properly published, should the average chapter of Austreo etc only occupy one side of a piece of paper, so that although the book would be a few thousand pages thick, each page would be a days work? Except for those that are not?
Could be worse. Imaging a cross between Austreoh and Legacy. Anyone for half a planets worth of 75k word plus chapter sizes?
This is the story of a mare falling out of the hundreth floor of a scyscraper. All the way down she keeps telling herself "everything's fine so far", "everything's fine so far", "everything's fine so far"...
8368793 She would try and keep it from being jeopardized, that's the whole point.
I admit to being amused by Twilight "beating up" Dash.
8368784
Dang man, that's some seriously fast reading. Welcome!
Heh, now I'm just imagining the mane ghosts spinning around Rainbow holding 'Strike!' signs that Pinkie somehow got them, with Rainbow desperately trying to get stuff done.
And now Rainbow must repent, REPENT for her stupidity.
It could have been worse. She could have been challenging a changeling rocket or something...
Old punishments.
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Welcome to the journey!
8368784
Welcome to the
Noble NinthLunar JuryMr. Bone's Wild RideDark Side Expeditionary Force! I'm sorry, but we don't have any hammocks available at the moment...however, I'm sure Seraphimus would be happy to make some room on her murder sled?Twilight used Shadow Punch! It doesn't affect Rainbow Dash!
What you have to understand, rainbow, is that up is down.
OH this is going to be good...
Only a few hundred thousand words or so. :)
Stop giving me cravings.
You Will Not Go To Space Today, Dashie.
8370367
Rainbow tail should point towards the ground if you want to go to space. If it starts pointing towards space you are having a bad problem and you are not going to space today.
(Another thing that is a bad problem is if the parts start falling off your space Dash in the wrong order. If that happens, it means Dash is not going to space today, or maybe ever.)
8368784
Welcome aboard, comrade!
Guess who just burned 800 calories on the stair stepper machine at planet fitness catching up? Me!
8368784
I wish I could read as fast as you. I don't know how the hell you do it . . . but welcome to the crew anyway! We don't have an awesome flying ship, or even a regular ship anymore. Hell, we don't really have any means of transportation right now, but we have some cookies! And milk, too. Many people only offer cookies and no milk, but both are complimentary!
8368784
8368806
If that 3.3 million figure is right, this works out to about 611 wpm. This one test I took here rated me at 375.
611 is pretty high, though nowhere near world record high.
Congrats!
8371123
I got 1,266 wpm
8371123
If i may, from my full saga folder, as of the latest chapter...
Total Words: 3,366,963
Estimated Reading: 1 week
I'm not sure going on strike and reminding Rainbow about the time the girls abandoned her in her hour of greatest need is the right call, Twilight. Some friend you are.
Though yeah, Rainbow needs to stop being dumb and find a half-dumb middle ground. Otherwise she's gonna get one of her friends killed by trying something stupid.
8371030 Here's another one:
mtgcardsmith.com/view/complete/full/2017/8/15/1502830376035577.png
8371062
We've got a hoverwagon. Maybe
Balance?
No. She needs... harmony.
Dash and Twi can be soo stupid at times.
If I ever were falling to my death, this would be what I'd think about too.
8368784
Bully for you! I have no idea how you did it, but good job!
8371996
Those Magic cards are excellent!
I hope that Rainbow will stop being so stupid, eventually. Brazen bravery has gotten her to this point, but the things about habits is we get so used to them, we can hardly see how to live without doing the exact same thing you've always done. She is currently at that point, and it isn't too hard to get her past that point, to be honest. She is honestly very lucky to have so many friends around her now because that means she can be swayed into doing the right things far easier than if she only had herself to bounce ideas off of.
8371996
I think you have some cool ideas here, but I do have some issues with the execution (especially when it comes to things like the colour pie and templating). I thought about just giving some constructive criticism on how to make them better, but then I got so invested I figured I might as well remake them myself. I tried to stay true to your originals, but I had to make some bigger changes in some places. But, um, yeah, here you go.
mtgcardsmith.com/view/cards_ip/1505406997214319.png?t=459387
I'm a little sad I had to take off Rayvinne's name, but it felt awkward for a nonlegendary to have a proper name, and I couldn't justify making her a legend.
mtgcardsmith.com/view/cards_ip/1505407897720927.png?t=097971
I considered making this legendary, but I'm not sure about it. You never specified what wanderer does, you know.
mtgcardsmith.com/view/cards_ip/1505409379477130.png?t=932070
I'm particularly proud of the middle ability I thought to use for Verlax — the "doesn't untap during next untap step" effect is informally known as freezing, so it's a perfect flavour fit. I'm a little worried about the possibility of a board wipe completely countering her ult, but oh well. And I wanted to make her a Legendary Planeswalker to conform with the upcoming rules changes in Ixalan, but MtG Card Smith wouldn't let me. grumble grumble grumble
mtgcardsmith.com/view/cards_ip/1505426580440242.png?t=628499
I'll be honest, this is the one I feel least confident about. It might a little bit closer to green's slice of the colour pie than red's, and I'm not sure about balancing issues either. I just kind of tried to do a different approach of sorts to Fling.
mtgcardsmith.com/view/cards_ip/1505427677548666.png?t=568717
Not much to say here — I just retemplated this and gave it a more reasonable cost. I also turned it into a sorcery, though, to make sure it's not too powerful.
mtgcardsmith.com/view/cards_ip/1505428548576401.png?t=904045
This is probably my favourite from your original designs — it's simple and elegant, and it works. All I really did here was add an ability that lets it make mana on its own. Sure, it may just be a weaker Fetid Heath, but I still think it's a pretty good mana-fixer land for two-colour decks.
So yeah, I think these came out pretty nice. Not 100% sure about the power level on all of 'em, but it's probably not too terrible. And if you wanna know why I made the changes that I did, I'm totally okay to answer any questions — just be prepared that it may be a really long response.
8368784
Ey! Congrats!