Princess Celestia trotted to the throne room with grace and dignity. Her gait was measured, and, with her centuries of combat and dance practice, each step was exactly the same length. With it, she had practically become the standard of grace and beauty for all ponykind.
That same deliberate stride also served to help conceal the stress she was feeling. When parliament had dissolved, she had taken over the duties of lawmaking as well as her original duties. The royal alicorn thanked the maker that her sister had returned now, and that Cadance had joined the ruling family. Between the alicorn trio, the nightmarish workload was a bit more manageable.
A good surprise had come from the economic reforms in the form of a lower turnout in both Day and Night Court. Where once dozens of petitioners sought the highest court in the land, now the number had dwindled to perhaps four. The thought of a falling workload made Celestia’s trip to the throne room for Court that much easier.
She trotted up to her royal cushion and daintily sat down. Her assistant - the wonderfully helpful, if abrasive, Kibitz - was already there waiting for her with the day’s agenda. “Who do we have first, Kibitz, and are they ready to present?”
Kibitz looked upon his scroll and read, “The first petitioner is... one Sparkle, head of the Noble House of Twilight.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. Sparkle wanted an audience with her in an official fashion? Interesting...
Unaware of his Princess’s inner thoughts, Kibitz continued reading uninterrupted. “Her petition is for... the use of a contingent of Royal Guards as escorts for an expedition up to the Frozen North, north of the Crystal Mountain Outpost.”
Cadance had mentioned to Celestia that Sparkle had gone up north for a few days. Why did she need to go up again, and why did she need a guard? “Send her in,” the curious princess commanded.
When the doors opened, Sparkle marched right up to Celestia and practically shoved a scroll into Celestia’s face. The princess took it and opened it up, revealing a very complex spell array.
“I’m going to bring back the Crystal Empire, and that’s how,” Sparkle stated.
Celestia’s eyes shot back down to the scroll, quickly scanning the spells within. “This... this could work!” Genuinely excited, the princess looked back once more at Sparkle. “How soon could you have this ready?”
“I’ve already built it; I could fire it the moment I get up there. In fact, I planned to head up there first thing tomorrow morning,” Sparkle explained. “I don’t really need guards; I just figured that you’d want to know, and that you’d probably send some guards and an embassador up there anyway. I figured that we could at least travel together.”
“This is... KIBITZ! Fetch me Princess Cadance, and then clear our schedules for the next few days, and get Princess Luna, too. Guards! Bring me Captain Shining Armor at once!” Celestia ordered.
The assistant and the ever-present guards saluted and hurried off. Then, the solar princess pulled out a blank scroll, a quill, and some ink. Quickly, she wrote out a letter in her perfect horn writing and sent it off with a pulse of magic. Then, turning her attention to the necromancer before her. “Sparkle, what you have here is an amazing piece of magic, and I cannot thank you enough for creating this. But know that when the Crystal Empire returns, so will its tyrant ruler: King Sombra.”
“I know who he is,” Sparkle replied, “and I know it took both you and Princess Luna to seal him away the last time. However, I have something particularly nasty in store for him if he shows up.” And she did; that much was the truth. What Sparkle wasn’t saying was that she was counting on Sombra showing up.
“Then you are aware of the danger. Good. Although, before things become too hectic, may I ask why you felt the need to rescue a long-lost empire?”
She replied to the solar princess’s inquiry with a question of her own. “Would you believe that I wanted to find a book?”
Hectic was an understatement. This was a rescue mission mounted by one of the most social creatures on the planet; of course it would be a flurry of action as everypony scrambled to get things done as fast as possible. Guards scrambled to get organized, castle staff ran about at a breakneck pace, and of course, the nobles bitched and whined when Princess Celestia refused to see to their oh so important problems.
Sparkle, for her part, simply had to show up at the Canterlot train station the next morning with the Yagalone stone in tow.
Although she did mention to Celestia that it was literally a boulder three times the height of the average pony, the Yagalone stone caused a bit of a spectacle as she levitated the light-devouring monolith into the train station. The mare couldn’t put it into her pocket space without damaging it, and so she was forced to carry it.
Sparkle trotted up to the Princess’s personal train, the Ultraviolet. A marvel of modern magical engineering, it currently held the land speed record for any vehicle in the world. The necromancer increased her pace to a steady canter and made her way towards the freight car. She nodded to the guard standing nearby as she floated the Yagalone into the car and followed in behind it. Once the stone was secured in place with several straps, she made her way to the first passenger car behind the engine. There, she stepped on board and found her seat.
No more than five minutes later, Sparkle spotted six mare approaching the train car. Sparkle's shoulders slumped slightly when she recognized who they were.
"Oh, Darling, can you imagine it? A whole empire made entirely of crystals! I bet it's simply divine~!" Rarity stepped through the open door of the train car and paused when she noticed who she was going to be sharing the car with. "Oh... Sparkle. I didn't expect to see you here."
"Sparkle? Sparkle is here?" Trixie said from behind Rarity. "What is she doing here?"
"Actually, I was going to ask you the same thing," Sparkle replied as the six Element Bearers boarded. "I have a good reason to be on this train; why are you all here?"
"Princess Celestia asked us to help retrieve the Crystal Heart when the Empire is restored," Trixie replied.
"Hmm... Well, stay out of my way, then," Sparkle grunted.
The whistle of the Ultraviolet pierced the air while the engine lurched forward. The other mares took their seat.
"What about you?" a suspicious Rainbow Dash interrogated Sparkle. "Why are you here?"
"I'm the one bringing the empire back."
The moment the group of twenty guards and their captain, an alicorn princess, six Element Bearers, and a necromancer crossed into the valley, they could all feel that this was the site of foul magic. Every tribe could feel magic to some extent. Earth ponies could sense the magic that was touching them or anything they touched, including the nearby ground; to them, it was akin to being poked with needles until they went numb. Pegasi could feel the magic in the air with their wings, although they perceived it in a way similar to, but not quite, sound; Fluttershy flinched at the horrible shriek of the magic. And unicorns could sense magic with their horn in a way that wasn’t like any other sense; the guards, Trixie, Rarity, and Cadance all scowled at the feeling of void in the air.
Sparkle, however, had the most profound sensory experience when it came to the Crystal Empire’s valley, though she had already seen it once before. There, emerging from the center of the valley, was a crack in space and time, though it had long since been sealed mostly shut. And although Sparkle couldn’t see the crack itself, it being so utterly abstract, she could see the light of the souls of the empire’s ponies glowing faintly behind it.
The glow also seemed to radiate out in thin lines, each no bigger than a third of a hoof-length, that pointed to various locations around the valley. Sparkle could only assume that they were trails left as the ponies were pulled into the void, and where they’d reappear when the city returned.
Thus, with a fairly accurate gauge of how big the city would be, Sparkle ordered toe group to stop on the outskirts.
“Hey, why are we stopping?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Tell me, what’s out there?” Sparkle replied, waving her mechanical hoof towards the center of the valley.
“Err, nothing,” Dash answered, confused.
“Exactly. Now, what will be out there soon?”
“The empire, duh.”
Sparkle grinned. “So tell me, Rainbow Dash, if you are out there, and a city appears out of thin air, what happens to you?”
“I dunno,” Dash replied.
“Have you ever heard of a unicorn getting splinched when they teleport?” Sparkle asked. Immediately, the more magic-savvy of the group turned various shades of green. “Think of it this way: What if you are standing where a wall should be the moment that wall reappears? Obviously, you’d be cut in half. Now do you see why I wanted you to stop?”
“Gah! Ok, ok, I get it. No going in until the city is back,” Rainbow Dash agreed.
Sparkle nodded. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be off.” And with that, Sparkle, with her floating boulder, galloped down the slope.
Shining Armor watched her go, worried for his sister after what she had just described. Now though, all he could do was wait. His sister’s slow gallop would get her to the center of the valley within ten minutes, and then it would take another two minutes to arm the stone and teleport back. Then, hopefully, they would have the Crystal Empire.
Cadance moved closer to her fiancé and draped her gradient wing across his snow-white back. “You ready, Shiny?”
“Of course,” he half-lied.
“Me too,” Cadance replied, though it was also only partially true.
Seconds passed, and then minutes. Within the group, the suspense was building. With no way of knowing exactly when it was going to go off, they could only sit and wait.
Then, without warning, a plume of black smoke erupted within the center of the group and swiftly compressed itself into Sparkle’s form. “Everything’s in place,” Sparkle announced.
“Good,” Shining Armor replied. “When will it go off?”
Instead of immediately answering, Sparkle conjured a black orb of magic from her horn. “This is the detonator. Hit it with raw magic, and we get a city un-destroyed. Shining, could you put a shield around us first?”
“Oh, sure!” The pink bubble promptly materialized around them.
“And Cadance, would you like to do the honors?”
Cadance smiled. “I’d love to.” The alicorn gathered blue magic at the tip of her horn. “Good morning, Crystal Empire! I hope you enjoyed sleeping in!”
The alicorn’s magic struck the orb. At that instant, a black speck appeared several hundred hoof-lengths above the ground. And, an instant later, it explosively expanded in a sphere of black magic that rapidly filled most of the valley in a fraction of a second.
A blast of wind slammed into Shining’s shield, but he alone barely noticed the impact; his shield protected the entire group perfectly.
When the magic and windstorm faded, the Crystal Empire stood before them, majestic and gleaming. Oohs and Aahs erupted from the gathered ponies. One of the guards started stomping his hooves in approval, and soon, the group had broken out into full applause for Sparkle, who, being so unused to the mass praise, was blushing furiously. “Thanks, everypony,” she said bashfully.
“Come on, everypony. Let’s go see how the empire is doing,” Princess Cadance suggested. While the Princess lead the group onward, Sparkle held her brother back. “Shiny, I’m going after Sombra. I know he’s alive and probably working his way out of the ice even as we speak. I’m going after him.”
“Sparks, no! It’s too dangerous. At least let me come with you!” the Royal Guard Captain insisted.
“Shiny... no. I need to do this alone,” she replied, turning away from him.
“Sparkle, I can help.”
“I know, Shiny. But you being there will... complicate things. Look, I know that you can make a shield big enough to cover the empire, especially with Cadance helping you. Why don’t you go help her defend the city, since Sombra will be out here. Don’t let any dark magic in, and I’ll knock when it’s safe to come out, alright?”
His heart wanted to protest badly, but his mind knew that this was the right thing to do. He had twenty seven Equestrian citizens, including a princess and six heroes, and a whole empire of people to protect. In the face of those numbers, the correct choice was obvious, if excruciatingly painful to make. “Stay safe, LSBFF.”
“You too, BBBFF.”
They hugged. Then, after releasing his sister, Shining Armor galloped to rejoin the rest of the group. Sparkle, meanwhile, darkened her horn in an attempt to divine the location of the sealed King Sombra. It took a minute, but she eventually found him.
Her body dissolved into smoke and vanished. She reappeared on top of a seemingly random patch of glacier ice. She inhaled deeply and then conjured a small but very real flame inside her open mouth.
She roared, exhaling a torrential stream of dragonfire at the ice, liquefying a large portion of it. By the end of the blast, her roar had warped into a scream of agony as her lips were cooked alive. Cutting off the stream, she focused her magic and repaired the damaged flesh.
Unfortunately for Sparkle, dragonfire was the only flame magic that she knew that was hot enough for the job, save for the nearly uncontrollable curse fire. The problem with her using dragon fire was that, while she may have had dragon magic at her disposal, she did not have a dragon’s fireproof physiology.
Again, she roar-screamed; again, ice melted; and again, she healed her lips and mouth. Seeing that the deep hole she had bored wasn’t quite deep enough, she repeated the cycle once more. As her lips healed the final time, black smoke started billowing up from the hole.
As it grew larger and larger, only one feature was distinguishable: Sombra’s head. If that was the only thing he could yet manifest, it said a ton to Sparkle about what had happened back then; the princesses had not turned him to Shadow, as they claimed, but instead had mortally wounded him. His current form - or lack thereof - was his attempt at recovering without being immediately killed by his injured body.
Genius. Sparkle made a mental note to look into that for herself.
<<King Sombra,>> she spoke in old unicornian. For Sombra, however, it would be chronologically correct. <<I have need of your resources. I was the one who pulled you from the void, now lend me your aid.>>
Sombra’s head focused on Sparkle. <<I thank you for freeing me, Madam. I can feel the dark power rolling off your body; tell me, what boon can the King of the Crystal Empire grant you for your service, and, perhaps, to secure an alliance between us?>> As he spoke, his body was becoming more solid and compact by the second.
<<Primarily, I seek knowledge. Specifically, I seek to own the complete Dread Necroptica. I understand that you have the book of Death. Am I correct?>> Sparkle asked.
Sombra finished resolidifying his torso and forelegs. Sparkle was surprised to note that he was younger than she expected, likely somewhere between her age and Shining Armor’s. <<You are indeed correct. You are a necromancer, I presume?>> Sparkle nodded in reply. <<Excelent. I shall escort you to my... castle...>> Sombra looked at the empire in the distance, noticing the pink bubble shield around it for the first time. He roared, <<What? THERE ARE NO UNICORNS IN MY EMPIRE BUT ME! WHO IS CREATING THAT SHIELD?>>
<<My brother, the greatest barrier master alive today,>> Sparkle replied. <<He has it up just in case.>> At that moment, Sparkle hurled a particularly nasty curse at Sombra.
He dodged it, allowing it to pass harmlessly through his smokey body. Then, he returned fire.
Sparkle dodged it in the same way. This surprised Sombra greatly. <<So, you know my magic, do you?>>
Sparkle didn’t reply; instead, she launched another volley of debilitating curses his way.
He deflected them and countered with an eruption of black crystals near her hooves.
<<Hey, Sombra! Watch yourself!>> she shouted. Having teleported behind him and left a illusioned specter in her place to confuse him, King Sombra was caught completely off-guard as Sparkle’s mechanical hoof plowed into his head at high speed.
The hoof, now separate from her body, had been launched like a missile by Sparkle’s magic. And, once separated from her body, it activated a curse that she had laid on it the day she had acquired it.
From the point of impact, Sombra’s skin - and only his skin - rapidly began to petrify, spreading out across his body. In seconds, he was encased in stone, stone that was now slowly and painfully working its way into his body.
Sparkle appeared before him, opened her mouth wide, and then fired her soul’s magic harpoon. Red light, Sombra’s normal magic, erupted from his horn and drained into Sparkle’s open maw.
She swallowed. For a moment, her fur glowed orange like Tirek’s had, but she didn’t grow. Over in the Crystal Palace, several security enchantments fell as their connection to their creator was broken. While Sparkle didn’t know the specifics of what fell, she knew that the death of a caster - or the loss of his magic - would end an enchantment. Thus, her brother would now be safer from magical traps in the castle. Then, satisfied with the boost of magic, Sparkle hobbled up to Sombra’s petrified form.
Meanwhile, in a parallel timeline, Twilight spontaneously glowed orange. She squeaked in surprise, more from the accompanying magic surge than the random glowing.
High above them, one of the migrating dragons spotted the orange glow and the pony it came from, and playfully blew a jet of fire at them, causing the ponies to scream and run. The dragon chuckled and resumed his forward progress.
Back in the other timeline, Sparkle quickly undid her curse. The stallion collapsed to the ground and the illusions he had around himself shattered like glass. Gone was the smooth, handsome, blemish free face. In its place, Sparkle saw crystals protruding from his skin. Small crystals on his lips gave the impression of an unzipped zipper, while black crystals pointing down from his jaw line gave the appearance of a beard. The crown on his head turned out not to be a crown at all, but a line of curved, gray crystals in the general shape of a crown.
On his legs and neck, thousands of small, black crystals fit together like dragon scales. Sparkle realized that none of his regalia actually was regalia in the first place. There was no cutie mark on his muscular flanks, but that was because the King had no magic for his soul to project it with. Although the irises stayed red, his sclera returned to white and his eyes stopped oozing purple mist.
<<What... What did you do... to me?>> Sombra gasped. He tried to stand up, but the residual pain from the curse caused him to collapse back into the snow. A hiss escaped from between his fangs.
<<I took your magic for myself. Be thankful I didn’t take your life and soul just yet,>> Sparkle replied. She levitated the prosthetic leg back to her side and carefully reattached it to her body. Her magic was drawn in, causing it to go rigid momentarily as sensation returned to it.
<<Without my magic, I have no power, and no talent. This is a fate worse than death for me,>> Sombra spoke. <<I would ask you to kill me, but I shudder to think of the horrors you would commit with my deceased body.>>
<<Like you haven’t committed any of your own?>> Sparkle replied. <<Wait one moment...>> With a flick of her magic, Sombra’s horn snapped clean off, just above where the last nerves were. <<There. Proof of your demise.>>
<<I do not understand.>> Sombra’s hoof felt around where his horn used to be.
<<I need to take credit for your death, but I cannot have you dead just yet. Thus, I burnt your body and took your horn as proof,>> Sparkle answered, waving the severed horn at him. <<Even if you “mysteriously” survived, everypony knows that you cannot cast without a horn.>>
<<What is with that emphasis?>>
<<My apprentice is an earth pony who can cast better than most unicorns,>> Sparkle proudly replied.
<<So, judging by the fact that I am not being tortured as we speak, I am not in chains, and I am not dead, I am curious about what you wish to do with me. I have been soundly defeated, and I know that my empire will not want me back, nor could I enforce my rule as I am. I am utterly defenseless, weaker than even the mud ponies. What am I, beyond your prisoner?>>
Sparkle smiled. <<I was hoping that I might make use of your genius, even if it is of a particularly twisted sort.>>
The dethroned king smirked. <<Even in the future, my utter brilliance is still known and respected. I sealed myself in the sixteenth year After the fall of Discord; what year is it now?>>
<<It is year one, After Luna’s Return. Princess Luna fell to the influence of a demon in the year thirty AD, and became Nightmare Moon. When she was banished, the calendar switched to zero After Nightmare Moon. A thousand years later, the calendar switched again when she was returned and purified by my sister. You have been gone for approximately 1,015 years,>> Sparkle replied.
Sparkle then focused on a spot in front of her. There, a sphere of distorted space appeared and expanded until it was large enough for a pony to fit comfortably inside. Through it, a misty, distorted area bathed in omnidirectional light could be seen. <<This is a portal to my personal dimension. It is incomplete, but will serve for now. There is food, water, and medical supplies in there, as well as a bed. It will be your prison for now. Time currently runs slowly in there relative to me; a day for you will be a week for me. Go inside, bandage your wounds, and I will come for you when I am ready.>>
Sombra would have taken time to marvel at the fantastic magical creation, but he knew that he had no power to argue with her. So, without complaint or hesitation, he stepped inside. And as he went, he didn't notice Sparkle's specter stealthily slip under his skin. The three-dimensional portal vanished silently, leaving nothing but a suddenly-terminating set of hoof prints to indicate that the king had ever been there.
Sparkle eyed the severed horn in her grasp. It looked remarkably similar to her own, save for the color. As she looked at it, she decided that she really liked Tirek’s ex-weapon; it made thing so much simpler than killing a pony and eating their soul. Now she had a living-but-helpless magical genius in her grasp, and nopony ever needed to know!
She teleported to the edge of the barrier around the city. Readying a very tiny portion of her magic, she formed it into a severely underpowered shield-buster curse. When it struck her brother’s spell, it rang like a gong, causing ripples to spread out from the point of impact. A second later, the shield disengaged, popping like a soap bubble. Had her curse actually broken it, the dome would have shattered like glass instead.
With the path clear, the victorious mare trotted inside. With her illusions up and her conscious suppression of her magic, the crystal ponies she passed paid her no mind.
The crystal ponies themselves were interesting to Sparkle. She knew that Sombra had written much in the way of mind magic, and she could see the spells breaking by watching the expressions on their faces. Every few seconds, a pony would freeze, their eyes would unfocus and refocus, and then they'd break down as buried memories surged forward.
Galloping onwards, Sparkle swiftly made her way to the crystal palace at the center of the city. If Sombra had a lab or library anywhere, it would be there.
SOOOOO AWESOME!!!!
Keep up the great work @wille179!!!
SOOOOO AWESOME!!!!
Keep up the great work @wille179!!!
Normally when a pony gets overpowered it breaks the story, but for this story, for this Twilight, it works.
This is one of the top stories I'm reading at the moment. I love the world you've built just as much as the characters in it :)
Over in the Crystal Palace, Several security enchantments fell
1. Extra capitalisation.
Huh... Well, thanks for dropping that bomb shell of a reference on us. So now I wonder if Sombra will be learning to handle magic... Differently now?
6229325
Double post, lol.
Does that mean I get double praise? 'Cause if so, I'll take it.
I wonder what a dead crystal pony natural semi see through shine would look like with black magic? Hmm I can't tell if they would be a golem or zombie hybrid if that happen...
6229333
The thing is, when a character gains power, they have to gain it in a way that logically makes sense. They have to fight or work for their power, and they have to be seen earning it. Say Sparkle was just suddenly able to drain just magic; that would be unexpected. However, we know that she stole it from Tirek. We also see her studying and working all the time, which means that she is always learning new abilities and improving old ones. Thus, her power growth is natural, reasonable, and enjoyable.
And thanks for the compliment.
6229349
Works for me... Browser froze during post so I guess it ninja posted xD!!!
6229333
Yeah. Overpowered characters aren't a problem as long as the author crafts a plot where said powers are irrelevant to the real conflict or, even better, help to keep canon events from trying to steal the show.
(See, for example, Tenchi Muyo. An anime where three of the characters are the goddesses who created our multiverse (which looks like a glowing blue basketball compared to their real forms)... it's a romantic comedy. What does it matter that, in the final story arc, they end up having to rewind time to recover from a villain introducing himself by blowing off a third of Earth's mass and punctuating a sentence by making the moon a literal crescent? That arc was just to reveal backstory about various characters and show how far along the path to godhood one of the characters had progressed. The real fun is afterward, when a mortal asks the youngest goddess a question and we discover that she's a bit of a troll.)
I think you are too smart for us if you thought Enola Gay was obvious.
Or I'm just that dumb.
6229359 this right here is why I love the story. You see her fail and learn and try new things and learn more. Cannon could use more filler episodes to show her working and growing her magic. That said I'd live to see a bit from twilight a perspective especially after the physical change.
Not a ton but just a peek or two at how her life changed w a dark otherworld sister.
Oh and props on the soul weapon for how Teriks abilities work. It's nice to have a reason for how something works besides 'magic'
Sssnnnrrrrk.... HAHAHAHAHA!
She would... She totally would... That's probably one of the best lines in the whole story.
6229394
The idea came to me after reading the Tirek backstory comic. Tirek learns under a centaur named Sendak, who could also drain magic. However, he's considered an outcast, and none of the others are shown with the ability. Going on that, it's likely that Sendak possessed dangerous abilities that he passed on to Tirek - namely the soul weapon.
And I'll see what I can do about getting more Twilight in.
ROCKET PUNCH!!! ...err, ROCKET HOOF!!!!
I loved that one.
6229439
I've been waiting 17 chapters to do that. Back in "Sparkle and Twilight," I had this:
And now:
6229377
A big problem I have with a lot of stories, regardless of their media, is the writers often hold their characters back too much. What I dislike more than OP characters is holding your characters back on purpose because they can't write a competent villain. (doesn't apply to this story just so we're clear)
Imagine if The Flash was like this EVERY EPISODE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXZWBJ-KKaU
Compare that with the season ending of the recent Flash tv show where he had to run at "the unheard of speed of mach 2!!!" I mean jesus christ we have planes that can do that.
Also:
It's a dream! You can do anything!
I dream I win. Can we go home now?
You can't do that!
Just did.
Hmm. What does AD exactly stand for in Equestria?
Great story! Keep up the good work! I like your consistent updates.
Ha! And Sombra falls. I can see why you were looking forward to having Sparkle throw such a rock-hard punch.
Poor twilight, getting random bursts of magic and strange sensations, she's gonna have some questions for Sparkle later.
Sparkle: "Hey Cadence, have you found the crystal heart yet?"
Cadence: "No, but we've found plenty of clues. Did you find Sombra's prison, we have to make sure he doesn't get out"
Sparkle: "Uhm, did you need him alive or something? cause i kinda ate him *tosses horn*"
Everyone else: *stares wide-eyed*
Sparkle: "Eh, could someone point me in the direction of Sombra's library? i did come here for a book after all"
6229543
After Discord
Well I'm loving this story more and more, though I would love to see what some of the changes are to Twilight as you alluded us to her having some sort of symbiotic relationship with Sparkle as far as magic goes.
6229553 Thanks!
img.memecdn.com/grammar-nazi_o_254474.jpg
Twilight did it wrong. She shouldn't tell him to watch himself. She should take a page from spike's book and yell "ROKKETO KIKKU!!!" (Yes, WITH the fake accent for added magic propelled leg impact).
Still have hope she'll manage to thwart her previously stated "fate". Mommy death ftw.
Last chapter, when she ate Tirek' soul, she got new" finger soul interfaces" that she started using for something on her back. Does she have wings we didn't know about (or I forgot existed, that's quite possible XD)?
Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter...
Even if mommy death becomes impossible...
Edit: misplaced spoiler tag.
6229634
Whoops. Typo. Let me just fix that real quick... there.
Go back to bed, Grammar Nazi.
6228531
Sorry, but your logic is a total fail.
The most powerful force cannot be taken down in one second. That's just not how it works. Surprise does not negate advantages. If I was wearing chain mail, you can surprise me with a sword I didn't how you had or could use and it still wouldn't cause any damage. I could punch a strong man in the face because I surprised him, but he will recover quickly and pulverize me. I see insufficient evidence of real enhancement to her body. Sparkle relies heavily on her dark magic, the threat that she might use it, and some pre-set traps. One particularly good dark magic defense and she'd be in real danger of losing.
Surprises are a problem, but there is really no reason for Tirek to be surprised. He is not an idiot or new to the game and being weak does not make one stupid. Sparkle is just an OP character whose flaws do not balance out with her overpoweredness. Weakness and major character flaws (which I'm not sure there are any, plenty of minor ones) do not keep a 'Mary Sue' from being such (only one m, by the way). Sparkle isn't 'smart and effective' at all, most of the time she is impulsive and in danger of overreaching. A character doesn't have to be loved to be a Mary Sue and Sparkle is powerful for no good reason. Her power comes from being 'a natural dark mage'. From what I can see, she has not worked very much at all. She has suffered very little in the ways of failures and mistakes. Do tell, by exactly whom has she ever been defeated?
6229646 cdn.meme.am/instances/25235723.jpg
6229660
I don't mind!
6229657
The surprise here was the magical equivalent of a grappling move. Tirek tried to pull on her soul's magic, so she "rolled with the punch" by flinging her entire soul at him instead. Then, once she was in extremely close quarters, she struck with her magic. Effectively, it is like running up to somebody who expects you to run away and shooting them with a gun at point blank. It doesn't matter how strong you are relatively speaking if your opponent lands a fatal strike on the first blow.
And that whole time period between hearths warming and now? She was studying, working on her own magical projects, and teaching Cobalt. What does she teach in her Defense classes? How to strike quickly or run away. What did she do during the preparation for the Battle of Canterlot? Self-enhancement rituals. What does she spend her time reading? Dark magic tomes. Who has she had as study companions for the last ten-going-on-eleven years? Her brother, Canterlot's barrier master, and Twilight, the Student of Celestia. In chapter 2, what is she doing with Twilight? Comparing notes. Why did she want to go up north to Manehatten, even though nothing came of it? She was trying to find a dark mage's cache of tomes. What was she doing as a child in the flashback chapter? Experimenting with her powers.
Now, consider the MLP episode "Boast Busters." Twilight Sparkle is shown to have very high magical power and talent, but is worried that her friends will think she's showing off if she uses it. Here, Sparkle has no friends and no mental restrictions to her power, and is very willing to use it frequently.
She has been working practically from the getgo to boost her power as high as it can go. She's like Moondancer, who lives her life for the persuit of knowledge in a world where knowledge is litterally power.
I would also like to point out that this is not a shounen-manga-style story, with fight scenes out the wazoo. Power it a tool and a plot device, not the focus of the story. Nor is power and litteral fighting the main conflict of the story. There is no quest that can be solved instantly through excessive power; there is no "final boss" to be 1-hit-KO'd; there is no army to slaughter her way through. Yes, some of MLP's main villians could count as such, but they aren't the focus of this story. You could say that the canon Elements of Harmony are OP, but it is the requirements to use them that are the driving conflict behind the tv show; likewise, Sparkle has power, but it is not the kind power that helps the true conflict of the story.
Her ability to make friends is underpowered. Her ability to find love is obstructed by her own actions. Her ability to find peace is hampered by her encounters with other dangers. That is where the conflict lies.
6229637 Wait, does this mean that if Sparkle visits Canterlot high thats she'll have four arms?
6229024 Yep. Kind of like how a single bullet can take down a helicopter if aimed at the pilot. All you need is good aim and the element of suprise. Heck, you can take down a tank with mines, and those are based on catching the enemy off guard. Warfar is about deception and efficiency, among other things.
It's also funny that Tirek assumed that Sparkle wasntr a necromancer, so he didn't think she was a true threat. I doubt he expected her to be able to attack his soul directly. The perfect deception is when your enemy has the wrong intel.
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No, she doesn't have wings. Pony souls come equipped to deal with wings, but Thorn is using that bit of the interface at the moment, which caused her back to go numb. She got finger interfaces and skin interfaces for the area on her back - not the same thing, mind you.
Also, the thing about gender is that it doesn't have to match your physical sex or the pronoun you answer to. And there are some people who answer to any pronoun or gendered title.
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Umm... have you read the same story I have?
Surprise defeating in a second? A well place spell can disable or kill in the same amount of time as a bullet to the head, no matter what kind of defenses you have if you know how to get around them. Kinda hard to duck when you don't see it coming and don't have the right defenses. (And I'm not sure if he meant a second literally or not. This fight probably took 30 seconds, but no longer than a minute). And the Tirek fight? Tirek was being an idiot when dealing with Sparkle. He was an arrogant SOB who thought ponies were beneath him. Yeah, he knew to avoid the princesses until he was powerful enough, but since he believed ponies were beneath him, he wasn't expecting Sparkle to have the power and ability to defeat him. All he saw was just another normal pony until it was too late. Sounds like an idiot to me.
She is impulsive, but she can plan like nobody else. While anyone can plan, Sparkle plans things that work. (Why do you think Sombra was defeated so quickly?). You can punch a muscular guy in the face, but who would be stupid enough to do that? Bring a knife or a gun instead, which is something Sparkle would do. If she didn't have it, she'd back off, knowing she was in a position she couldn't win, then come back with something that could. You're wearing chainmail and she has a sword and surprise? She'd just hack your head off instead, or aim for a weak spot. She isn't stupid.
And while insanely overpowered, Sparkle is not a Mary Sue. At all. She has abused her power (killing innocents just because she was angry). She has major character flaws (she pushes everyone away from her emotionally, even her brother and sister, and eventually causes a breakdown, not to mention 'impulsive and in danger of overreaching' sound like major flaws to me). She has made major mistakes (Savior dying was her fault). Her power is not perfect (She had a tough fight against the Paladin who gave her and Thorn trouble, and Discord took her leg and magic).
Also, she does have major enchantments on her body. Remember what she did to Shining just a few chapters ago? You don't think knowing what she planned to do to Shining that she wouldn't do something similar to herself? She's also cast rituals upon herself that power herself up. (There is one in the story, during the vampire arc, and others that I'm not sure if they're in the story, but are in the Tumblr).
She hasn't worked very much for her power? Sparkle had to work her butt off to get where she is! She was left to fend for herself in a harsh environment, and she had little to no instruction. She had to teach herself everything she knows. She had to study the Dread Necroptica, which required finding them first. And its not like she learned everything overnight. It took time to learn and had to practice to master everything in those books. As for the magic she has gained during the story... it seems to be learned at a rate, not all at once. She's may only be 19, which seems young to have all this power, but she's a genius, which compensates for her youth. Can you see a non-intelligent pony being able to do that?
And suffered? She's suffered her whole damn life! Her childhood was in poverty. She's been persecuted for being what she is. She had her leg taken by Discord and nearly died. She lost Savior, whom she was desperate to save. Kinda sounds like she suffered to me.
Who has she been defeated by? Discord; while he ultimately was defeated, he had her down for the count, and only her intelligence beat his arrogance, and even then, barely. She didn't defeat Discord, the Elements did. She just got them in position to. She's been captured before, and would have been sacrificed to Death if Death hadn't been a buddy. Sparkvoritar almost had her beat and would have if Luna hadn't helped. All these times, were she alone, she would have lost. Just because they ultimately won doesn't mean she wasn't defeated.
I seriously think you need to reread the story.
6229657 I'm sorry, but you are plain wrong. History has proven you wrong. If someone is wearing chainmail, shoot them with a cannon ball. If someone has a bullet proof vest, shoot them with a rocket. If an army is said to be unbeatable, nuke it. There is no such thing as an individual that cannot be taken down in one second.
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There are some quotes I once saw that are relevant:
Colonel Jeff Cooper on the "Fair Fight" - "If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck!"
And a bunch by Sun Tzu in his The Art of War:
“There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare.”
“So in war, the way is to avoid what is strong, and strike at what is weak.”
“Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.”
“Great results, can be achieved with small forces.”
“Mystify, mislead, and surprise the enemy”
Sparkles motto would be: "The best preparation for a knife fight is bringing a gun"
also: "if you fight your enemy on even footing you did something wrong"
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Concerning the chain mail thing: While I'm not active in HEMA*, I'm looking forward to get into it at some point in the future and try to build up atleast a theoretical knowledge base for that. That said, the armor example is a really bad one. In a surprise situation, the surprised one is at a massive disadvantage that can easily prove fatal. Yes, the chain mail would protect you from the sword's blade--but only an idiot would try to strike you with a cut when you're openly wearing armor of that kind. They'd go for a thrust (if using a sword with a pointed tip), which might have enough force to burst through the rings that caught the tip, or they'd go for another weak point or use a different, more appropriate weapon. Heck, as far as I know, even the force of a cut might be enough to actually break your arm or leg, even with you wearing chain mail! Either way, bad news for you.
Even if you'd increase the protection, there's a way to deal with you in relative ease. Even the best armor won't protect you all too long when some peasant managed to draw you from your mighty warhorse with a simple hook, leaving you on the ground in your heavy plate. And then it won't take long for a dagger to find its way through some slit once you've been pinned down by pole weapons.
Atleast that's my point of view as a theoretical enthusiast. Having someone with actual sparring experience joining in would be interesting.
One thing I enjoy about Split Second is how all the little things seem to fit together, with most things not being explained by a simple "it's just magic, deal with it" but by providing some background. It makes society's disapproval towards the Dark Arts more believable when they're actually a generally dangerous thing, even for the mighty, instead of some kind of "Weapon of Mass Desctruction (Peasant Level Beings)".
Sparkle is a generally dangerous being, and part of the story's charme is in seeing her trying to find a balance between her rampant egotism and the concerns of the beings around or close to her.
* Historical European Martial Arts, e.g. historical fencing
Sparkle is friggin' dangerous clever. Honestly I'd like to see a little cleverness from Celestia or Luna once in a while. They're nowhere near the strategic geniuses that you'd think they'd be having lived so long.
I look forward to keeping Sombra coming back to bite Sparkle on the flank.
Just because I am aware of something, does not mean I feel it is worth stating.
Your work continues to impress, though. Thank you for writing this out for us.
This looks really interesting, its such an unusual idea so I'm just going to put it on my list until I get time to have a look at it.
I enjoyed Sparkle blindsiding Celestia with her plan. It was entertaining.
Sparkle is frighteningly pragmatic. With her specter piggybacking on Sombra, I don't think the former king is going to be the threat that people think. Though, Sparkle's pragmatism is covered in pride. That's why her attempt to rebirth Savior did not work, pride was the failing there. She wants to have her cake and eat it, too. She just might succeed.
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This was a point of contention? After all the other shit we suspended disbelief for this was too much? The first thing we were taught in our martial arts class is that there is no "honor" in a fight. The person who comes out alive is the one who "won" that fight. Take every dirty cheating advantage you can get, and once you have them at a disadvantage from that, you hammer them as hard and as fast as you can until they don't get back up. This seemed par for the course for me. Sparkle had him surprised, so she wailed on him, and while he was recovering from that, she did it again. At Sparkles level of power, I can easily see her spamming deadly and/or debilitating spells at her opponent and (if nothing else) overwhelming them with shear volume of fire.
Rant done, excellent chapter. I'm interested to see what happens in Sparkles pocket dimension. Don't think I forgot that Tirek's body is also in there with the mad unicorn.
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The SINGLE complaint was thT Sparkle was turning into an OP Mary Sue who never lost. A bunch of people, myself included, immediately jumped on the guy and explained why she wasn't a Mary Sue, why her power is. In fact, justified, and, more importantly, why a battle SHOULD be quick and efficient.
Meh, it was just a single guy getting blown up by the comments section; it wasn't even a flame war.
I've been thoroughly enjoying this story so far.
While I had some concerns similar to Stormy Nature (that of Sparkle being OP), as I've read I've come to the conclusion you, the author, have posited. The central conflict is social, not martial or magical.
It's similar to when people complain that Superman is OP and boring. His most impressive stories come from when his power is his disadvantage, because it has alienated the people around him and made them fear him. As he was quoted in Justice League Unlimited, "I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard, having to always hold back in case I destroy something. Someone."
Sparkle fits that same niche, but with the added difficulty that she automatically mistrusted due to her reputation, and so has to constantly work to show that her intentions are, while perhaps not pure, good.
I'll throw in another quote that I feel is poignant, this time from Granny Weatherwax, "We're witches. We do good. We don't do 'nice'."
I look forward to reading more. This fic is on the fast track to earning a Fav from me.
Ahhhhh. So that's what it was. I was wondering how you came up with the name last chapter.
I want to post a link to some writing about how you should all but tell you readers things because they will still not be obvious, but I am having treble finding it
I see why Sparkle originally wanted Thorn there for this, would have been easier to get dragonfire from an actual dragon.
It's always good to pick up tricks and ideas from the unusual individuals you run into.
Interesting. Makes me wonder if Twilight simply got a share of what Sparkle pulled from Sombra, or if she sympathetically unknowingly drained her side's Sombra.
I'm not sure keeping even a dehorned and demagiced Sombra alive is a good idea, but maybe it'll work out alright with that specter to keep an eye on him.
My only question is how Sparkle's actions affect Twilight. Also curious why it hasn't happened the other way around yet.
I would like to compliment you on your ability to make a character's progression from not-badass to badass very smooth. One of my favourite things in a story is when I grow attached to a character and can feel almost a sense of triumph when said character becomes amazingly awesome, and you write it in a way the feels very clean and smooth. Not to say Sparkle wasn't badass to start with, but she's significantly more powerful now.