The lock clicked shut. It was such a profound sound, what that lock made. If you listened, and you happened to know the owner of said lock, then it would tell you much. The sounds was not a crisp, quick click, as one would get when they ordinarily would lock the deadbolt of a door. It wasn’t the quiet click that sounded far louder than it actually was because the key holder was trying to sneak in without waking whomever might be on the other side. The sound had too much grinding, and was too slow but too loud at the same time. It was the sound of a pony going through the motions with little care for precision. It was the sound of a pony with dark thoughts on their mind.
The key to the lock floated into an inside pocket within a grey, worn-out robed, which rustled underneath the fabric of two saddle bags. That particular pair of bags contained a list of food items, and a distressing bag of bits.
The reason the mare holding the bit bag found it distressing was twofold. On one hoof, paying her legal debts and her family’s landlord had left it distressingly light. On the other hoof, the chance to fill it and her belly with proper food came with a price that was so heavy, the mare wondered how she could even walk.
Her hooves carried her across the length of the hall, plodding along the stained carpet with purpose, but not vigor. Methodically she descended the three stories of stairs at the end of the hall. There was a window in the stairwell, and through it, Sparkle could see the base of Canterlot mountain.
Her brother was somewhere up there, she noted. He’d been in the barracks all month, patrolling upper Canterlot during the evening patrols. Her home was lonely without him. And with Thorn out on another of her long-distance errands to collect esoteric texts from Manehattan, she was truly alone down here.
The mare stepped out of the stairwell and out the door way. Bright sunlight struck her face, making her blink and shy away until her eyes had adjusted. When they had, she lifted her gaze to its proper place. She trotted off.
The eyes bored into her even as their owners cleared the streets. She was used to the sideways glances, the confusion in ponies when they looked at her, knowing something was off but not what. This wasn’t that. These stares seemed to burn into her, criticizing and condemning her. Eyes that wished she would burn in hell. Eyes that hated and feared her.
A tiny voice in the back of Sparkle’s mind said they were just scared of her looks; she had forgone the set of illusions she affectionately called her “makeup” after all. Smoking eyes, a too-skinny face and a horn that had its filing neglected, leaving it wickedly sharp, did not do wonders for a pony’s pleasant image.
The larger voice in her mind convinced her that they were judging her, and they found her lacking. Every step she took, under the constant onslaught of whispers, stares, mares shooing foals away, and the likes, made her hooves feel heavier and heavier and heavier.
She pushed her way in through the door of the corner grocery store. The jingle of a bell above her head made her pull herself inward in an attempt to make herself as small as possible. Eyes turned to her. One mare even set down her shopping basket and hurriedly exited the other door, making the pony behind the register glare harder at Sparkle.
That tiny voice came back, calling for her to just make them stop. Half-heartedly, she wished that she was a griffin in their empire, where it was legal to attack those who offended you. Of course, that would defeat the whole reason behind her mood if she could do that.
Head down, she grabbed a basket by the door. She walked towards the isles, but was quickly stopped by a stallion. “Ma’am, you’re scaring away my paying customers. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Sparkle blinked. “But... I just needed to buy groceries. I’m out of food at home.”
“And I need to make a living,” the stallion replied, his voice taut and shaky. “I’m sorry, but...”
“No,” Sparkle replied quietly. “That’s OK. I understand. I’ll just go...” She turned and left without another word.
Stepping back out onto the street empty hooved, she raised her hood up and made to move forwards. Her hoof caught in air, stopped by a sudden thought. “No,” she whispered. “No, that is not OK.”
Quickly, she dashed into a side street and called up her magic. The spell was an illusion, but not her usual variety. Her “makeup” usually consisted of a spell that made her look ordinary, with a cost of about a half-percent of her reserves to cast and maintain for an hour. This spell took a whopping half of her reserves, more than most unicorns could muster without killing themselves.
All of her illusions required her to have a “base” idea in mind, imagining what she wanted her victim to see. The more complex, the more detailed the illusion would be, while the simpler the idea, the more powerful the illusion would be. Sparkle knew for a fact that had she used “I am the most impossible thing” instead of what she had, she could melt brains. Goo out the nose, dead body, the whole nine yards.
What she had used was almost as dangerous. Anypony who saw her would be cursed. Nothing would ever bring them joy again, merely boredom. They would remember this moment as the happiest they had ever been, and wouldn’t ever be able to find happiness again. No stallion who saw her would ever be happy in a relationship again, and no mare would see their own beauty. Why?
At that moment, Sparkle was the most beautiful mare possible, given the victims’ definitions of beauty, and they would always remember it as such.
She stepped back out into public view, and the world stopped. Mares cried and stallions stood at attention, in more ways than one. Though her gait was normal, they would see it as powerful, righteous, and divine. She was untouchable, and the common ponies knew it, and were ashamed to even spoil her beauty with their proximity.
In the store, the story was similar. Whatever she put in her basket, ponies would swarm to and clear the shelves in an instant. Whatever she ignored, the ponies would treat it as if it were the plague itself.
Sweet nothings graced her ears, and, while knowing full well that they were lies, she savored every one of them. Affection, admiration, praise, and vengeance were drugs to the darkest of ponies, she knew; yet she indulged anyway. She knew it wouldn’t last, that she would be back to facing the same choice, but in that moment, she lost the will to care.
She approached the register and the stallion behind it, the one who had kicked her out not a half hour before. “Hello,” she said simply. To the ears of everypony within range, her voice was the single most beautiful melody that could possibly exist. Silence descended upon the crowded store, every last pony afraid to move a muscle, lest they cause a noise and miss even a fragment of her voice. “I wanted to buy these, but I’m a tad low on money, could you-”
Pandemonium erupted. Ponies were pushing and shoving and biting and kicking and screaming and surging forwards to offer her their hard-earned bits. In the seconds before Sparkle raised a hoof to stop them, she saw at least three ponies break bones. “Please, I was only asking if I might have a discount. If you must give somepony your money, you could always pay for my food for me.”
The bits started flying, literally. Heavy, metal-filled sacks were tossed towards the helpless store-owner, or, in the case of a few unicorn and earth pony customers, launched with enough force to dent the wall behind him.
Sparkle smirked. Leaning down while shielding herself from the onslaught, she whispered into the fallen pony’s ear, “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
Something changed in his eyes, causing them to appear dull and lifeless. He stood as Sparkle straightened up. She stepped back, allowing the still-growing crowd to continue throwing bits at him. Suddenly he jerked to the side, completely on his own accord, and took a bag of bits to the face. There was an audible crack, dropping him like a puppet with cut strings. Sparkle turned towards the crowd. “You should all be ashamed of yourselves.”
She exited the building, illusion shattering, with a stomach sick with pride. The rush of pleasure all ponies experience when using their talent faded, and the guilt set back in. She was worried about ending one pony’s life, when she could just casually do that?
Right then and there, standing on the street corner where that shop - now in flames - stood, she decided that that money was cursed. No matter what, that fortune would go to her head. She knew it.
Her hooves burst into action, galloping towards her home. She couldn’t stand it any longer. Without the illusion, the stares were back and in full force. She was going to break, snap, shatter, disintegrate if she stayed out any longer. Sparkle ran.
With food in her belly and time to stop and think, Sparkle had calmed down. By no means was she better, but she was calm. She needed help; of what kind, she couldn't quite picture. Who would listen to her? A therapist? She could never afford that right now. Shining Armor? He was away until Friday, the day of the deadline. Thorn? She could reach him, but he wasn't the kind of individual she would want to unload on; his advice would probably hurt more than help. Twilight?
Sparkle's eyes affixed themselves upon the typewriter. Could she help? Sparkle didn't know if Twilight would understand. Maybe... Maybe she should just talk to her about something else. Something other than this.
Her eyes drifted over to the book next to the machine. It was that book. The words on its leather-bound cover, only ever visible to her and those she empowered, read Dread Necroptica: Mind. She glared at the book.
Stomping over, she took the book in hoof and whipped her foreleg around. "I HATE YOU!" she yelled. The book, which should have been across the room, was still firmly in her grasp. "This is all your fault," she spitefully hissed at the paper object.
Unlike any other book, it responded, flipping open to a blank page that certainly wasn't there before and wrote upon itself, 'I am a book. How could I do anything you accuse me of?'
"It was your spell that caused this mess!" Sparkle screamed.
'One which you used freely and of your own will,' the book's text replied. 'I am only living information. How could I possibly make you do anything?'
Sparkle set the book – and the information demon within – down on her desk. She had no reply, other than a gruff grunt of anger.
Turning towards her desk, she sat down in the chair and pulled the typewriter towards her. She pounded out a quick message on the keys, and then pushed the lever to set it to the next line, eliciting a ding in response.
It was only a minute later that a reply came.
Twi: Hey Sparks, what's wrong?
Spark: I've kind of had a rough day. Can you tell me something good to get my mind off it?
Twi: Sure, if that will help you feel better.Remember the incident with my Trixie? So Celestreea walks into the farmer's market and starts examining the crops. She then says, 'I know how you could grow these crops even better. And over the next week, she goes to almost every garden in town and gives advice. By the second week, ponies are coming to her for advice, and by the third, the advice isn't limited to just plants. Eight days ago, Applejack came to me for advice on how to write a book, and yesterday, I found out that she and many other farmers are writing The Holy Word of the Garden.
The punchline? I'm not joking. I may have accidentally brought to life the founder of Equestria's fastest growing religion.
Sparkle honestly didn't know what to make of that, but at least it succeeded in getting her mind off-
Nevermind.
Spark: Well, as long as you aren't going 'praise the log' or something similarly inane, I won't stop you from joining.
Twi: You're laughing at me, I know it!
Spark: No, I'm not.
Twi: Yes you are!
Her accusation was met with no response. A long pause punctuated the moment, one in which the air seemed to grow thick and oppressive to Sparkle. Her gut twisted into a knot, and she knew what was coming, what she had to do.
Spark: Twilight, I can kill ponies by talking to them.
On the other side, the jovial mood in the library evaporated into smoke. Twilight watched in horror as the words of explanation formed before her eyes. Tears of empathy formed in the corner of her eyes, and before she knew it, she was sobbing as hard as her sister.
At last, the typewriter stilled into silence. Twilight looked at the clock and, realizing there was time left, typed one final message.
I'm coming now. Meet me at our garden spot.
Time bent sideways as the light unicorn entered the garden. Her dark counterpart sat on the bench they always used to meet at when they were fillies. Twilight sat down next to her, as did Spike on the opposite side. She embraced her counterpart.
For a time – it really didn't matter how long – they just sat that way. The comfort of long-needed physical contact calmed and comforted Sparkle immensely. Being as close to Twilight as she was, she did not feel the urge to talk; nothing needed to be said.
By the time they moved, the sun was low in the sky, tinting the world orange with pinkish highlights around the clouds. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Slowly, Sparkle shook her head. "Not really. There isn't much else to say."
"Then I'll just be here for as long as you need me," Twilight replied.
The sun had fully set before Sparkle spoke again. "How are you getting home? The last train must have left already?"
"Don't worry about that, sis. I can always sleep at my parent's house, Shiny's place, my room in the Castle, or, Celestia forbid, a hotel," she gasped in mock horror, trying to raise the mood. "I told you I'd be here as long as you needed me, and I think you still do."
"But-" A hoof silenced her.
"No buts."
They sat for a while more.
"Spike, can you send this for me?"
"Sure."
Fwoosh.
The letter, unexpected it its timing, landed on top of Celestia's late night work. "Oh, a letter from Twilight. Let's see..."
Dear Princess Celestia,
I know you asked me to write to you on what I've learned about friendship. This isn't that. This is something I've always known. Sometimes, ponies hurt real bad. And there are times when there is nothing you can do to ease their pain besides being with them. And it hurts, watching them hurt outside your ability to help.
Remember Sparkle? We talked today. She is hurting in ways I can't adequately describe. And, while I don't think it is my story to tell, I can tell you that she's in one of the worst places a pony can be.
And I can't help her.
What do I do?
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight
P.S. I'm in Canterlot right now. May I sleep in my old room tonight?
Celestia set the letter down. "My dear Twilight..."
May you slam home those tests!
But damn.. I'm not one to cuss, really, but ouch, this is going down in the holy crap way.. A good holy crap way. Now thats a glamour, the kind of eldritch fae that mortals are not meant to touch.
I certainly look forward to seeing what happens next. And I don't mind waiting one bit for it.
What i don't get is, Sparkle was instrumental in defeating NMM, and yet she gets fined for it, AND had to throw the legal book at celestia to keep from getting imprisoned. I figured that either Luna or someone would have stepped up and said "hey! she just saved me/Luna from NMM. maybe you should give her a break/ a raise, SOMETHING."
Aside from that, barely paying the most talented dark mage a miserable salary for the dark arts class is a hugely bad call. Sparkle wouldn't be in the situation of the mob boss's offer if Celestia had been more of her canon self and been a little more understanding or at least accepting.
Yes dark magic is badly frowned upon, natural dark mage or not, but Sparkle is loyal as hell. So why is she ostracized by Celestia or even Luna of all people?
Something better happen soon or i might just write this story off as forced mistreatment of an anti-hero that only seems and anti-hero cause of how people treat her, not her dark magic.
5556291
Unfortunately, that impression you get is partly due to the fact that for some of the elements that would explain her mistreatment, I have yet to find a way to introduce them to the narrative. For instance: there is a parliament that makes laws, with Celestia normally acting more like a judicial/executive branch of the government. There is precedent in how they treat her, and some of the laws don't distinguish between a natural and a learned dark mage. Another, Blueblood is an effective politician and a conniving bastard. Yet another, ponies of all sides keep an eye on her, since she technically hasn't made any formal alliance; she wants to preserve life, not fight for anypony in particular. Sparkle has little to no loyalty to any faction.
Further, Celestia has helped her as - not yet written - one of the possible sentences for practicing dark magic is the permanent removal of the horn, which Sparkle clearly hasn't gotten. Luna can empathize with Sparkle very well; they just haven't spoken more than two dozen sentences to one another.
I haven't gotten around to writing most of that stuff. Sorry for not inundating you with back-story when I was trying to get to the plot.
And for the nightmare moon thing, Trixie and company did all the work! Sparkle picked up the elements (they were in plain sight) and passed them to Trixie once she realized that they were better with the other unicorn. As for the in-town parts, she merely hurried Trixie along on something Trixie was already doing.
Sorry for ranting. I'm stressed right now. I promise you though, all will come in time.
5556291 i agree with you on all points except the forced anti-hero, she kills things. Like it or not to the ponies around her she is the second coming of Sombra, celestia should be more considerate but the ponies are good as they are, realistically afraid of the walking death pony that since its a natural, it cannot be removed by law.
The obvious answer is to move to Griffonia. I'm sure their military would love a tiny purple murder machine.
5556324
And? Have you read about some of the stuff US presidents can get away with without congressional approval? Add the judicial part in there and Celestia could almost do whatever she deems fit. (wreaking the Gaila, and making sure none of the mane 6 have any civic suites or criminal charges levied against them for example.) Celestia had the perfect opportunity to take a young natural dark mage at the unicorn school and turn her into the perfect weapon against hostile dark mages (aka a faithful student) Or at the very least, a position that was less public but just as personal, and she threw it away.
So ok, Sparkle didn't do all the work for Luna's salvation, she at least helped events along. But why fine her when she was within her rights to be there? Sparkle went through all the red tape and STILL got fined!? If this was some other pony then i could see it, but because it was Celestia i just can't understand it.
And even going past all of that, her crap income is a disgusting oversight by the government. "Oh sure, let's pay a currently law abiding massively powerful dark mage minimum wage while she's personally training our guards. We wouldn't want her to have any reason to seek other less legal ways to make a living.
Controlling her movements, i can see to whatever actions she did in the past, but poverty levels of pay for a dark arts instructor as renowned a she is just inane. Its even worse since she's supplemented, barely, by her brother's wage-slave income as well. Celestia must be BEGGING for a reason to banish/stone/imprison Sparkle because i see no other reason why this is going on except for plot.
5556333
the civilians mistrusting Sparkle is totally understandable. Hell, Zacora was feared and all she did was exist. But celestia is 1000+ years old. she's got to have enough wisdom to see where Sparkle is heading and it was 100% preventable on her part.
Really nice chapter specially the letter at the end. Also I'm glad Sparkle decided not to deal with the mob.
5556429 agreed
5556422
Politicking. If she doesn't visibly enforce the laws on paper, then ponies with mindsets like Card will start taking advantage of it. And Sparkle did break the law; she was convicted of dark magic use and, instead of horn removal, was restricted to Canterlot unless given express permission by the crown and forced to do "community service," teaching the guard. It's like those litter-cleaning convicts you see on the side of the road, except she does get paid the legal minimum wage. (It's something like repeated jury duty.)
Let me quote this line from chapter 10:
She is not a licensed educator or magical scholar - her license is permission to practice dark magic under controlled, restrictive circumstances. She has a basic finishing school diploma, and not an apprenticeship or college degree, meaning very few would hire her. Considering her talent and how ponies would hire considering they advertise their talents on their bodies, it basically means she is perpetually unemployed.
Consider further that Celestia is, at minimum, greater than a thousand years in age, and has taken at least 2 (which implies more) personal students. That all implies that she has a great knowledge in magic. Then she has a court arch-mage, as mentioned by Twilight. If the two most magically knowledgeable ponies in Equestria and an entire university dedicated to the study of magic can't advise her better than a self-taught unicorn who only has ten years of experience under her belt, then there really is a problem.
Now, individually, any of the laws and traditions regarding the treatment of dark mages wouldn't seem like such a big deal. 'Let's make her teach, but we'll compensate her minimally for her time because it's probably taking a pony away from her job,' is the intent of that ruling. But then you add, 'no way would I hire her,' 'we don't accept killers into our school,' and 'convicted felons are not allowed to hold government positions,' you go from the lectures having minimal compensation to being her only source of legal income. Conflicting laws, regulations and attitudes happen all the time in the US government, and while those get repealed or reformed quickly if things go FUBAR, there is no way Sparkle could reform the entire attitude and legislation against her all by herself.
5556422
How much of the government here is the nobility though? You raise an interesting point. If this follows a roughly feudal level of law. She may be able do small things past these ones, but at the cost of them getting persnickety. I don't know, and I can't say. But, watching current politics and the crap they do because they hate someone... I wonder how far they would go to cause issues for so many others. With what the law let them do by rank in most cases. Short of murder here, the nobles likely get by with a great deal of self dealing. Doubly so if they hold a great deal of the countries revenue, or a guild that does respectively. Feudal politics are a bit more complicated, even in a high fantasy setting. They can be super dark in a low tiered one.
As for throwing away a good chance at a something to counter it? Its one possible view. Another is that she didn't view a necromancer as vital then and there. Instead, it was her search for the element bearer to free her sister. There is alot that isn't said here. And is open to speculation.
Luna, who knows. Who knows here. She may be talking, she may not be. She could be protected from that one by celestia, or even her or the canterlot guards. There is no telling right now.
As for the fine, you can likely blame the nobility here over celestia. It might be her, but given that control issue for what she is. Its rather doubtful celestia would let it go, on the other side of things. Sparkle may have simply never raised a voice, or not cared to, given an earlier brush off. Would you ask someone in a place they might give you money with some very pricey strings to it? I know that raises what is going on in this case with the crime lord, but he is mostly willing to honor his word to get what he wants. Right to the heart of the matter celestia either doesn't see, or is removed enough not to.
As for the issue of her dislike, its sadly been pretty clear. She may very well want to find a way or reason to leash her better. It could be to give her a better place of living. It could be have some means to ensure she isn't going off on an innocent. But given her wiggling and fighting back in the same manner. All that happens is that sparkle makes life rougher, and chooses other paths. We are just given insights from sparkles PoV here, and its limited what can be inferred.
I don't disagree with you, but offer there is just alot we don't know.
5556632
Of course she's going to be convicted of dark magic if she's a natural dark mage. That's like saying I'm convicting a Caucasian guy for the crime of being white. Everything that happens with Sparkle after that exam is 90% on Celestia's head. She saw a highly confused filly who had just inadvertently killed her own parents, and is oh so generous to allow her to keep her horn when the filly is barely comprehending what the hell just happened?! As far as we know, the Sparkle family had no other outside aid.
Canon Celestia likes to show herself as understanding, merciful, and even going so far as giving Discord a second chance, yet here she allows what could have been a filly who would have been as loyal to the crown as canon Twilight fall away and become the time bomb she is now.
This story's Celestia isn't merciful, she's allowing Sparkle to fall into the same cracks as probably every other natural dark mage before her. Celestia has GOT to know Sparkle's going to fall. If this was Canon Celestia, she probably WOULD have taken Sparkle in to demonstrate to the public that natural dark mages can be a force of good. She has more than enough clout to pull it off, and Sparkle would have vindicated her.
and instead we have this FUBAR of a mess.
5556429
Canonically, Celestia's decision making has almost always been subpar.
5556683
No, Celestia is (somewhat?) merciful. (IDK how 1000 years of solitary confinement counts as mercy.) The thing is, ignoring problems until they "go away" isn't all that out of character for Celestia, and neither is delegating problems to others. She may be able to run a tight ship with day-to-day politics, but disaster prevention is not her forte.
LUNA: Fell into depression and cutie mark failure insanity syndrome. Became Nightmare moon.
NMM: "Here Twilight, go to this place without any aid or relevant information and deal with whatever."
DRAGONSHY: "Here Twilight, go to this place without any aid or relevant information and deal with a dragon."
CERBERUS: "Prisoner roll call? Wut?"
DISCORD: "Preventative measures? Wut? Lol have some letters."
CADANCE/CHRYSALIS: Replaced by a changeling. Celestia didn't notice until the bug jumped out and said "BOO!"
SOMBRA: "Here Twilight, go to this place without any aid or relevant information and deal with sombra."
TIREK: "I had a dream. Discord, fix it. Oops. Twilight, fix it again."
Sparkle's comment to Luna about sympathy was very intentional.
5557011
we can keep arguing this until the cows come home, so this is my last one.
Even if you take Celestia's miserable track record of disaster prevention into account, she's not completely blind. Sparkle was right there in front of her at the end of her school exam. Parents dead, undead dragon there, and a filly far too young to know what was happening, and Celestia didn't even for one instant think that the unicorn would be useful for at least a political statement?
At that moment, Celestia knew Sparkle was powerful. But does she act on that? no. For all we know, Celestia just leaves Sparkle and Shining to pick up the pieces of their broken family with only a single word to allow her to keep her horn. This isn't some event that happened in the next town over, or even on the streets where Celestia wasn't able to witness everything for herself. Celestia was right there and did nothing.
As for Luna is concerned, we don't know the whole story canon wise. maybe Luna bottled it all up until it exploded, maybe all the signs were there and Celestia was too naive to see them. the fact is, we don't know. all we can do is speculate.
The rest of them, yeah, pretty bad on her part if she isn't playing the role of the chessmaster.
You'd think Celestia would be smart enough to realize that Sparkle could be really dangerous if left alone. Unfortunately, she seems to have a history of massive and dangerous oversights like this one. Throwing someone with near limitless power out into the slums and poverty and then telling them not to use that power for personal gain because it wouldn't be right is a recipe for disaster. Especially if that power happens to be extremely potent dark magic. You know what they say, keep your friends close and keep impressionable orphan fillies with the potential to topple your kingdom and kill you if raised wrong closer.
5557305
Then this will be my last response. While Celestia may have known of Twilight Sparkle (through Cadance), at the time of the event every unicorn and alicorn in the city was hospitalized with sudden and violent vomiting. Sparkle was just a face among the masses then, and since nopony realized that her spin had changed and she had caused it, all Celestia saw was a filly lose her family, then her home, and finally pop up later in criminal court as a dark mage. She'd missed her window of opportunity and if she'd taken in a dark mage after the original Sunset Shimmer incident, there would have been an uproar. Celestia made the (wrong) choice and let Sparkle go.
I think everyone is forgetting that Celestia is not infallible. Despite her centuries of experience she is not all knowing as she would like many to believe. What the show leaves out much of the time is that the 'cannon Celestia' is, at heart, still a pony. She has great power and influence but she is a guide and teacher. She makes mistakes and she is not above the law. If she gave preferential treatment to Sparkle the Nobility would quickly accuse her of of nepotism due to Sparkle's relation to Cadence .
And also? I think this is a damn good story. There are mountains of crap that are spewed forth on this site every day and I adore an author who can take an inventive idea like this and give us characters with a realistic look at a situation like this. The world isn't evil or out to get her- it's just uncaring and fearful of things that could, and often do, try to kill those in it.
So I say: Bravo Sir! I look forward to the next release.
5558179
Thank you!
This is a pretty interesting idea - how one small and insignificant action can bring about varying results. It's not a new concept of course, but I like what you are doing with it, and following Sparkle's botched life has been both an interesting and somber affair. I must admit I am unsure as to where the overall story is heading, but I will gladly stick around for the ride.
And while the story understandably focuses more on Sparkle, I wonder how this would have ultimately changed Twilight's life as well - admittedly I'm not sure why her cutie mark and talent were changed if she went through with the canon course of events, but I imagine there is a plot point of sorts that will come to forefront with time. There has to be a reason why her cutie mark displays a seemingly closer connection to the Tree of Harmony than her original one, after all (a detail I'm sure Celestia would have noticed pretty quickly).
Speaking of Celestia though, dang, I really dislike the Sparkle!Celestia (is there an actual difference between the two though, and in the laws she sees fit to uphold?) - from what we have seen so far, what I garner is that it isn't Black Magic (at least in natural borns) that is evil, or Sparkle that's corrupt, but the problem is actually Celestia and the morally questionable laws she enforces in Equestria.
Sparkle has to work for a minimum wage ... which would not be so bad in itself, except it's clear that whatever passes for minimum wage in Equestria isn't meant to support a life in Canterlot. Canterlot which Sparkle is forbidden from leaving, and thus she can't actually find a cheaper place to settle down, all for the crime of being born the way she was.
Sparkle, even with Shining's input, struggles putting food on the table, has to participate in underground fighting rings to help herself along and apparently even owes money to loan sharks ... because that's the situation the system has deliberately saddled her with. All the while providing (more like being forced, less she goes to jail for merely existing) invaluable service to the crowns (it was mentioned her courses keep more guards alive than anything ever before her), which they couldn't apparently care less about when it comes to rewarding her, aside from Celestia's generous (snerk) ruling of allowing her to remain free ... in Canterlot, where she can't make ends meet without resorting to shady stuff.
Yes, Sparkle has made some questionable decisions, but all of them - and the attitude she has developed over the years - is because of the situation that has been forced upon her, with her simply trying to survive in the situation she has been placed in (without outright resorting to living on the streets or something) with no way out. Most everything wrong that Twilight has done and the mental issues she has developed - that's on Celestia's hooves, and that of Equestria's morally bankrupt justice system (which makes it being on Celestia's hooves just the same).
This isn't a complaint about bout bad writing or anything like that - the show Celestia has, after all, frequently displayed pretty poor judgment during emergency situations and when having to deal with unorthodox issues (with Twilight, ironically enough, being the opposite) and being blind to things happening right under her nose. Granted, this whole screw-up is exceptionally bad, but not necessarily all that out of character for her ... perhaps a millenia of ruling, while having made her effective at running the country during normal day-to-day tasks, has made her inflexible and incompetent at handling sharper twists and turns.
Still, I very much hope this whole situation comes to bite her in the flank at some point - truly and seriously bite her, leaving her with no other conclusions to make that she has screwed up royally and has done wrong by someone who never deserved it. Would probably be a pretty healthy experience for her, and a justice well served.
---
On another note, the note that magical stuff resonates between the two Twilight's is pretty interesting, like when Twilight used the elements. Makes me wonder ... when Twilight undergoes Alicornization, how would that affect Sparkle? Would she grow wings as well? (Though knowing her luck, those would probably be batpony wings or something, heh).
Anyways, I'm looking towards watching where this story goes.
5560627
I would suggest that you read more of the comments below, as they address almost everything you brought up.
5560677
I did, and I'm not necessarily sure whether much of it was addressed - aside from the fact that, apparently, a conversation around these themes took place. Note that I didn't even have much grievances with it, seeing as I agree that such a display of incompetence isn't out of scope for Celestia's canon character, and social injustices, ugly as they are, aren't exactly unheard of - nor do I hold expectations for Celestia to be above them all.
Unless you are trying to assert that the overall way Sparkle has been handled is an appropriate response of a just system and a show of competence of its leaders that they deserve any respect over (rather than an ugly mess), which is what I'd take an issue with.
5560688
I wasn't trying to assert anything; I just thought you'd find it interesting and/or relevant. Haven't had time to write a larger response.
5560740
Ah, gotcha :)
And yeah, it certainly was relevant to the subject of Sparkle. Hey, if a subject manages to provoke a discussion, you know you are doing something right - people care enough to argue about it :)
5557305
While I have no issues with Celestia not making Sparkle her own protegee or making her acquaintance in any other way (it's a missed opportunity for sure, but I don't necessarily get the impression that Celestia actually cares for the would-be rights and image of natural dark magic users), my main grievance is much more simple and much more easily fixed - and seems to be at the root of most of Twilight's problems.
She isn't being adequately paid for her job considering the environment she is expected to live in and provide for herself.
While that's obviously but only one of the issues here, this one is almost painfully easy to fix - and it's hardly unjustified, seeing as Sparkle provides a one-of-a-kind (and supremely effective) service to the crown and its military arm. And yet she has to constantly starve herself for lack of food on the table, has to get herself injured in underground fights stuggling to pay the bills and has to take on shady side jobs (I'm sure she would have helped the noble mare get rid of the stalker had she not asked to outright kill him) to make the ends meet.
While simple money wouldn't make all the other social injustices go away, Sparkle would be noticeably better adjusted and less prone to moral slippery slopes if she had a decent home to live and and constant warm food on the table, rather than having to undergo constant physical and mental trauma merely to scrounge up the basic necessities (and even then not always, if her periodically starving is any indication) to keep on living a semi civilized manner - which isn't conductive towards one's psyche. She even wants to be a law abiding citizen and would, from what we have seen of her inner thoughts, love nothing better to do just that and live a simple life ... but she literally can't, due to the situation the crown has forced her in to.
Simply adequate pay for the services she provides would be enough to make her that more well adjusted (pay her the extras under the table if you don't want it showing on official papers, surely Celestia can figure at least that one out), or confining her to some other location besides Canterlot, where a minimum wage can actually support an individual (Ponyville is like at the bottom of the mountain, surely that's good enough), aside from the weeks where she has to move to the capitol for her teaching job ... voila, a good majority of Sparkle's problems solved and everyone is better off for it.
It's almost like being paid the bare legal minimum simply because she is the proverbial black person and being made feel as if she should be happy she is being paid at all, where a white guy would be receiving not inconsiderable sums of money for his unique and valuable services.
Instead, she is almost being set up to fail eventually, the system pretty much unjustly forcing her in between a rock and a hard place, and then waiting until something goes *splat*. I only hope that if something does go *splat*, that Celestia is forced to recognize and owe up for her mistakes.
Hm ... I wonder if the Tree of Harmony might play an eventual role here, somehow - Twilight does seem to have a heightened connection to it in this story thanks to her cutie mark, and hers IS the central mark on the tree originally ... and say what you will about Celestia and Luna, the Tree is by far the most powerful entity in Equestria. Tick off Twilight enough or push her far enough in to despair due to the fate of her "sister", and who knows what shenanigans she might force to happen. The Elements already rejected Celestia once, one has to wonder what would happen if the source of the Elements, the Tree itself, would be to withdraw its support ...
5560852
She's also only able to work four weeks a year. The Canterlot minimum wage isn't that low; she just doesn't work long enough to make any sort of money that way.
Of course, at heart, this is still the same mare that appeared in mlp canon. She loves to teach, and would willingly give up free time to do so unpaid. The problem is the policy-makers reacting like Ponyville to Zecora.
Further, if you have a skill that practically demands to be used on a living subject and lends itself to combat, and like testing yourself (as canon TS does) it's entirely possible that she fights for fun, and that the money is supplement. Doesn't change the situation, but the attitude is different. Ponies are cowards, ponies are discriminatory, and ponies follow herd mentality far more than humans follow mob mentality.
It's a self-compounding, multi-faceted shit-storm of a problem.
5560929
Indeed, I suppose being able to work so little also has something to do with it, but it's the same problem either way (fixable the same way, or simply giving her more classes to teach, seeing she is doing more good than whatever other system they have in place, so this is a marked benefit for society and guard survival rates) - the job she is saddled with doesn't pay enough, and seeing she is forcibly confined to Canterlot she can't lower her living expenses by moving elsewhere or trying to get a job elsewhere.
When the cage the government has saddled her with leaves her starving on regular enough basis (if the fights were for fun, she wouldn't have cared for being ripped off ... nor would she be starving if she didn't actually need the money :P), despite all the other (less than healthy) things she tries to do on the side to supplement her income, then it's obvious the system is borked - and no one, including Celestia herself, really seems to care one way or another if minority individuals get to suffer for it.
At best, it's like one of those programs that only exist as lip-service to show people that you are doing something ("We are giving her a job and license to practice her craft! ... while omitting little details like said job not even beginning to cover minimum living expenses), at worst its a system deliberately set up to make the individuals inevitably fail so they can get rid of them with all the proper paperwork in order (We gave her a chance and look how she responded in the end! ... never mind that the "chance" was practically engineered to lead to this conclusion).
So, yeah ... cowards and racists indeed and, ironically enough, Celestia seems to be galloping right along with the herd and reinforcing the problem. Like I said before, believable in a darker portrayal in Equestria ... i just hope that Celestia, somewhere along the way, is forced to confront and recognize her own follies, if your Celestia is courageous enough to do so.
5560998
I didn't say she wasn't starving; she needed the money, but the fight itself wasn't not fun.
That said, I think it's a mix of ponies not caring, trying to drive her into the ground, and not speaking up when they see a problem. (There have been several misscomunication issues/total failures that cause problems in canon mlp).
Slight aside; I haven't yet totally solidified Celestia's mindset yet as a writer. I do know that this is once facet of her, and that the other timeline has the same Celestia with the same faults, but not a Sparkle to fall victim to them. This comment is my opinion on her mindset.
5561112
I'd actually say "thanks for small mercies" that she actually perceives the fight as fun - after all, her mindset about the fight is a footnote to the actual problem at all - that she has to resort to it at all in order to make ends meet. Good on her that she can derive something positive for herself from it, she has little enough of such things as is.
And aye, I have no problems with Celestia being portrayed as a deeply flawed character who (in her own mind) tries to do what she perceives as the right thing, while remaining completely blind to the problems at hoof (that's pretty much Canterlot Wedding for ya), and like you said, letting a problem to fester and rot until something eventually boils over can be said to be a canon flaw of hers. I'm perfectly happy with such a portrayal for Celestia - I'm merely expressing my hope that she gets to experience an eventual, eye-opening and painful tumble from her lofty perch that forces her to reevaluate some things to at least some degree.
Hm ... speaking of Celestia, that's a good point that Twilight's Celestia shares all the flaws with Sparkle's Celestia (and, I persume, the laws of both Equestrias are the same). Which leads me to an interesting thought - how is Twilight's relationship with Celestia affected thanks to Sparkle's existence? How would Celestia's treatment of Sparkle (herself essentially, if by pure chance her fate was but a bit different) impact Twilight's opinion of Celestia?
Because I can't imagine that Twilight sees Sparkle's situation as anything resembling fair, and thanks to Sparkle she would be aware of Equestria's laws and injustices towards natural-born dark magic users (and possibly other minority groups), a deeply personal issue for her, which never otherwise would have come up in the show. Makes me wonder if she has a much less idolized view of Celestia, and whatever else other effects that might have on their relationship.
5561163
Let me sum up Twilight's relationship to Celestia as it compares to canon:
Twilight's worst fear in Sombra's door isn't being abandoned by Celestia. Twilight doesn't see her as an idol, but a pony. Seeing it second hand isn't the strongest of emotional influences, but it has stained the relationship.
If such a revelation came to Celestia, it would probably be because of Luna - Luna being sympathetic to Sparkle. No idea how to go about that yet. I'll see where it goes.
5561206
Hm, somehow I get the feeling that might actually be a positive for Twilight - after all, much of her high-strung nature and many of her anxieties, canonically, can be traced back to Celestia and her absolute idolization of her and her subsequent desire to please her in any way she can imagine, possibly leading to an overall less stressful childhood overall. The irony, Twilight has it even better because of Sparkle's existence :P
And yeah, Luna is a good choice if one is to get through to Celestia. She's probably just about the only individual who could really get Celestia to sit down and listen (especially as Luna turned in to nightmare in the past due to feeling neglected, so that's even more incentive to pay attention when she's speaking) and an individual who could be naturally sympathetic towards Sparkle and her situation ... or the situation of natural born dark mages in general. No doubt she has her own opinions on the laws and government in general as it has developed in her absence, some good and some foul.
I'm glad to see Sparkle realizing that going through with Gambit's plan would be BAD with a capital b, a, & d.
Interesting discussion in the comments. I can see where some of the other readers are coming from, be it Celestia or the government of Canterlot or Equestria, someone is badly managing the local natural dark mage. That's how you get somebody who was very nearly ready to start down the slippery slope of killing innocents in dark magic rituals for money, and for no reason other than the debt that an uncaring society has heaped upon her.
Wait; so did Sparkle kill the ponies at the grocery store?
Someone is familiar with the works of Third Fang, I see.
5820733
Yes, I am... But why bring him up? I haven't thought about his stories in a while, especially not while writing this... Did I reference him unintentionally?
5820904
You did. Worship the log is one of his things.
5820733 The guy who did Yet again yes?
Huh, got that from a Naruto fanfic, did'ja? I've seen it a dozen times on fanfiction.net
Anyway, I'm surprised Twilight didn't ask Celestia why her counterpart is being so horrible to her doppelganger/sister. Through a written sense, it would make a decent tool to finally explain some of Celestia's actions that had annoyed so many readers by this point, and would make sense for character action/reaction.
"Just one more chapter" I said more times than I can count. This cliffhanger is the most painful yet but I have to put this down for the night! Gah, stupid awesome story!
I don't understand what happened in the store. Did somepony die? Why the place is suddenly on fire? The scene is so confusing.
Damn, Celestia isn't handling her wild card very well. Granted, this is a relatively unique situation, but still.
6303739 When Sparkle said "You should be ashamed of yourself" while in the form she was in, I guess it was too much for anypony to handle. Thus, chaos erupts and the victims turn suicidal. I'm guessing that after she told the cashier that, he made sure to stay still so that he would be injured and possibly killed by the powerful force of the thrown Bits, of which the one that struck him happened to be several in a bag. That much force at least caused a concussion. When Sparkle said "You all should be ashamed of yourselves," Hell broke loose, and I'm guessing either everypony worked together to kill themselves, their minds broke and resulted in total chaos, or the ponies lashed out at those who would be deemed unworthy as a priority to killing themselves. The fire could have been caused in many ways due to what was going on inside. It could have been a unicorn using a fire spell to commit bird genocide with one stone (I made that up myself! Copyright 2015 The Pyropath aka Pyro Changeling), or maybe even flammable liquids being ignited, probably starting with someone's body (ah, the ol' gasoline suicide).
In other words, Sparkle fucked up. Maybe not to her consequence (other than psychologically), but she killed a bunch of innocents. Though the cashier deserved it. What a douchebag.
Doing this to innocent ponies is arguably worse than killing them, yet she has no qualms about it.
7042068 I highly doubt even a third of the capital is innocent. I'm pretty sure the majority of the civilians that saw her deserves it. The store clerk especially. Seriously who would willingly tell a paying customer to leave? And I'm sure the store she went to was one that people have to go to get food.
7274296 No excuses. She just raped the minds of ponies. The only sacred part of an intelligent being, the only part completlly private and untochable for everybody except you, your personality and your manner of seeing the world. Hijacked forever.
She isn't good anymore. She had just killed everypony who saw her (some mares and fillies btw), maybe not physically, but certainly mentally. She knowed that and did it anyway. She deserves to die and nothing she do for now on will change my opnion and don't expect anything good for her anymore, because she had passed the moral event horizont, she already can and will do evil.
7290225 how did she all she did was cast a spell that makes ponys see what thedesire most in themselves on herself in no way did she alter there minds she merely changed how she is perceived no mind rape those ponies did it of there own accord
Sparkle's situation strongly reminds me to Naruto's childhood (shunned and feared for something out of your controll).
I hope Sparkle will not going down the path what Gaara did
I am not sure that i got what happened in the shop after she leaved it.
8013493
if I'm reading it right, whatever spell she cast at the shop made anyone who saw her so enthralled by her 'beauty' that they became nothing more then mindless slaves willing to do her bidding, and when she told them "you should all be ashamed of yourselves" it drove them mad, causing them to pretty much riot and kill themselves.
well that was sudden