Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
"BEHOLD!" Fibb gargled, bursting his way through a crystalline niche set deep within the walls of the large chamber. His echoing voice caused row after row of golden goblets to rattle on their stands. "FIBB'S TROPHY ROOM! FILLED WITH TROPHIES!" A tiny dead skeleton fell to the ground beside him, bursting into dust. "...AND SOMETIMES DEAD BATS!"
"How charming," Gilda said, her tongue clicking inside her beak. "I see you've earned lots and lots of awards."
"ONLY BECAUSE FIBB IS GOOD AT MURDERING OTHER GRIFFONS!"
"Hmmm... nifty... Would you like to put that on paper?"
"NO! FIBB DOESN'T NEED PAPER LINING ANYMORE!" The enormous creature thundered to the far corner of the room and turned around in front of a small stool. "NO MATTER WHAT GRAMPS MIGHT THINK!" He sat down, reducing the stool to splinters. Crunch! "PREDICATE!"
"Before we begin the interview, I have to say..." Gilda smiled. "I've never seen so many unique trophies." She paced around, tapping her chin as she looked at the many-many shelves lined with dust-laden trinkets. "You must have one of every shape and size here! Even a short, stout one studded in four places with glowing red rubies."
"WHAT?!" Fibb's beak nostrils flared. "YOU MEAN THE WIND CHALICE?! BAH! THAT WAS A TALON-ME-DOWN FROM GRAMPS! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO EARN THAT LOUSY TROPHY!"
"Then I imagine you'd be willing to part with..." Gilda glanced over her shoulder at Rainbow Dash. "...a short, stout, greedn goblet studded with four glowing red rubies."
Rainbow made an 'Oh!" shape with her muzzle and quietly backtrotted out of view.
"HEY! WHAT BELONGS TO GRAMPS BELONGS TO ME! AND WHAT BELONGS TO ME IS... IS..."
"Yours forever?" Gilda remarked.
"HEY, ARE YOU GONNA INTERVIEW ME OR WHAT?!"
"You just read my mind!" Gilda grinned. While Rainbow Dash disappeared behind an obscure line of shelves, she squatted before the meaty cretin and cleared her throat. "So... let's start out with your early years, hmmm? How was Fibb as an early hatchling?"
"WELL, ACCORDING TO GRAMPS, MY EGG WAS SO BIG THAT MY MOTHER PASSED OUT! AND NO GRIFFON IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OWNED A CHAINSAW! SO..."
Rainbow Dash sneaked down a thin aisle full of rows upon rows of golden prizes. She coughed and wheezed, struggling against dust and cobwebs.
"Guh... friggin'." She shuddered, frowning into the hazy mess. "For crying out loud. None of these even have the dude's frickin' name on 'em. He's full of bird poop, I swear."
She craned her neck left and right as she came upon an intersection of converging shelves.
"If only I had... like... a pendant or something to light my way in this cruddy place," she muttered. "Just which one of these darn things is the Wind Chalice anyways?"
Lancie stuck his head out. "I'd look for the cup of a carpenter if I were you."
"Get real, Lancie," Rainbow whispered, shuffling forward. "Gilda made it clear that it's a short goblet with four ruby studs on it."
"Is it true what she said?"
"Dude, she's a griffon," Rainbow droned. "If anyone should know what the Wind Chalice looks like—"
"No, I mean earlier." Lancie smirked. "About how you've become so uptight and all."
"Unnngh..." Rainbow's ears folded back. "You were listening?"
"I'm always listening, Sparky." The stone statue grinned wide. "So, is it true?"
"Is what true?"
"Were you once crazily carefree? A loose cannon?"
"You've seen me loose."
"Have I? Have I really?"
"I... like... suplexed friggin' diamond dogs underground and fought a giant tank. Weren't you paying attention?"
"Only because you had hundreds of deer and anteloupe to save. But being crazy just for the sake of being crazy?"
"Mrmmff..." Rainbow passed shelf after shelf, her eyes squinting across the crystalline hovel. "My flight school days are long behind me."
"Those you attended, you mean."
"Don't rub it in."
"You were a total rebel, weren't you?!" Lancie smiled wide. "A firecracker! A pegasus without a cause!"
"Meh..."
"You were even... dare I say..." He arched a granite eyebrow. "...chaotic?"
"I was stupid."
"I'd venture to say you were interesting!" Lancie leaned back in the saddlebag. "I would very much like to meet the pony that Gilda knew."
"No you wouldn't," Rainbow hissed. "That Dash was a troublemaker and an idiot and a moron," she grumbled. "She thought nothing about the consequences of her actions, and she didn't know what true loyalty was."
"So, what you mean is, she knew how to have fun."
"She knew how to destroy herself," Rainbow grumbled. "She didn't love somepony." A deep sigh. "Not like I do now."
"Oh, cuz Celestia knows you never threaten to destroy yourself under your current motivations." Lancie shrugged. "How many dinosauric griffons did you double-cross back in the days that you dated Gilda?"
"Look, I didn't ask to be psychoanalyzed," Rainbow grumbled. "I just wanna grab the Wind Chalice, get out of here, and fly west so I can get the shards and you can cure Apple Bloom!"
"Okay okay... Mrs. Frown Face McSeriousPants!"
"Let's not forget what this whole darn quest is for, okay?" Rainbow said.
"And let's not forget what your whole life is about, hmm?" Lancie smirked.
"One thing at a time," Rainbow trotted faster. "Keep an eye out; help me find the darn thing."
Lancie nodded, glancing at the shelves upon shelves. "Hopefully no griffon will put the killing curse on you before we get to it."
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Y'know, that does sound like it would
come in handycome in... hoofy? If only we knew of such a pendant...Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade reference.
Not like I've got some hereditary debilitating muscular atrophy or some crud
6228106
This one too.
Also, obligatory Harry Potter reference:
Call me a masochist, but I kinda want to hear the rest if chainsaws start getting involved.
6228106
Sounds like a Harry Potter reference here. In fact, didn't Harry have to search through some secret stash of memories(?) in some hidden vault...?
It's been a while.
6228176
How has your comment not updated before I post mine? Always late to the party.....always...
Aaaaand of course, an obligatory Austraeoh reference.
6228106
And an obvious Austraeoh reference mixed with another Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade reference.
I feel like this is taking a damn long time, then again I dont remember Rainbow sleeping yet, maybe a long day?
That title. Fortunately, Dash hasn't had to kneel to get the chalice yet.
Still love Lancie. It's weird, but with all the secrets Dash keeps from the Six, I'd almost call Lancie her closest friend.
Closest confidant, at the very least.
6228285
Every time an Austraeoh reference is caught, a poor BabySkittleMonster is forced to reread the (really darn long) series. Help the pitiful creature by preventing such misuse of fantastic literature.
Seriously, I've read the darn thing about 12 times by now. I can practically quote it. Do you know how bad it is when you can practically quote over 1200 chapters? Really bad.
Diggory <3 :(
There's black comedy and then there's THIS.
Or a purple ghost unicorn that can sense sources of magic!
Later on, after she told the story to AK Yearling, she cribbed it to write Daring Do and the Griffons' Goblet.
*shudders*
6229293
Yes, curse this self referencial humor.