Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
Rainbow Dash waded through the pushes like a petite, prismatic shark. When the stallions’ voices came closer, she ducked low with a swish of her tail. The mare held her breath as the rich businessponies strolled by, followed by the fastidious-looking unicorn with the monocle.
“...the key to diplomacy is sincerity. Like so many of our competitors, I do not believe that there is profit to be had in dominating the Granite Mountains altogether. Much rather, I find that the locals there are in possession of a great deal of resources that do not hold any degree of importance to their highly spiritual lifestyle, and--if coaxed with the right amount of barter and trade--they can be convinced to part with much of it.”
“But, seriously, Mr. Pants, Cloudstone? Seems like a relatively fruitless pursuit. I mean no offense, of course.”
“I am in no way offended, Mr. Rich, provided you have a legitimate explanation for your disagreement.”
“It’s simply that Cloudstone is quite common. That is to say--the pegasi manufacture it quite consistently. It’s what makes up so many of their dwellings in the sky, after all. I’m talking about everything from levitating apartments to the very core of major airborne metropolises such as Cloudsdale and Las Pegasus.”
“Ah, but there’s a difference in this particular circumstance, Mr. Rich. How astute of you to notice the commonality of Cloudstone! However, in all of the instances that you’ve state--albeit generally--the pegasi are intrinsically involved. That is not the case with the deposits located within the Granite Mountains.”
“Just how did Cloudstone end up inside a natural mountain range?”
“That’s just it! I’ve had my best experts in geology conducting very, very thorough searches of the area! The mountain--as a matter of fact--is not--a natural formation! It’s the result of a very ancient pegasi city having collapsed there centuries ago! According to arcane dating, my scientists in the field are estimating that the deposits there are no younger than five centuries!”
“F-five centuries?! Fancy, that must mean--”
“That is correct! The Cloudstone deposits there must legally belong to whatever pony organization first claims them! I intend to be the first procurer of said materials!”
“But what of the Cloudsdale Historical Society? Won’t they see this as tantamount to grave robbing?”
“If there were ancient pegasi bodies to be found, quite likely. So far, my field agents have found none. We won’t, however, have a full grasp of the situation until we send an expedition inside the mountain deep enough to find out first-hoof.”
“And these… Granite Mountain Buffalo…?”
“They are the one barricade to our progress. Over the past two years, I have been endeavoring to get on the good side of the mountain tribes. Rather complicated sort, buffalo. Beads and feathers certainly don’t do the trick. Of that, I can assure you.”
Chuckling voices. Then the conversation resumed.
“Is that the explanation for all of the salt licks you’ve gathered over the past few weeks?”
“Why, yes, Mr. Rich. Almost all Equestrian races respond favorably to salts. It’s one of the many ways I’m hoping to buy my organization passage into the inner passages of the Granite Mountains.”
“You’re certain that they’ll be receptive to such bartering?”
“No, as a matter of fact, I am not.” Scuffling hooves. The group came to a stop as the owner of the manor turned about to face them. “Which is precisely why I summoned you fine lot here today to discuss the matter in fine detail. If I was to have a committed investment from each of you, I can assure each one gathered here that the returning profit will be ten times worth the initial leap of faith. Mark my words, you’ll praise the stars that you decided to meet with me today.”
“F-forgive us for having our reservations, Fancy Pants. But--even if we manage to get the Mountain Buffalo to work with us--what could we possibly do with the Cloudstone that would earn such astounding profit?”
“Why, what couldn’t we do with the Cloudstone, my fine gentlecolts?! That material is precious, one of a kind, and full of too many properties than a single mortal can list! Not only that, but the substance has hitherto been dominated by pegasi bureaucracy since before the abacus was invented! In the right hooves--such as my special bureau of scientists--Cloudstone can be evaporated and distilled into an abundant water supply! Why, a single cubic inch of the material has enough compact moisture to fill a small lake! Just the steam that can be harnessed from it alone could power a royal Canterlot zeppelin for months! What’s more, if we can figure out how the material is broken apart, we might learn how it can be put back together! We’ll be the first non-pegasi to have ascertained the secrets of Cloudstone! It could pave the way towards an entire generation of steam-powered industry!”
The stallions murmured with one another, their voices already excited and intrigued.
“So, what say you, good friends? We stand upon the brink of rapid change! The only thing that impedes us is the relatively unpredictable disposition of these Mountain Buffalo. Surely, between the seven of us, we can figure out a way to charm our way into their hearts. So, minds aglow! How do you win the approval of a reclusive Buffalo clan…?”
Rainbow Dash bit her lip. Slowly, with slithering hooves, she slid her way back from the thick hedge in front of her--
--and bumped into the tuxedo’d chest of a frowning stallion.
“Miss Dash!” the butler hissed. “What in Celestia’s name do you think you’re doing?!”
“Ackies!” Rainbow Dash’s wings flapped in shock. Her body went limp. The pill container in her apron rattled as she plunged forward…
...and collapsed limply across the cobblestone path of the hedge garden. Fancy Pants, Filthy Rich, and several other stallions gasped, jumping back in surprise.
“Good heavens!” Fancy’s telekinesis went into overdrive, snatching his monocle and champagne glass before they could shatter against the cobblestone below. “Why, hello-hello!” He leaned forward with an inquisitive squint and an even more inquisitive smirk. “Quite curious! What do we have here?”
Rainbow Dash laid on her back like a fuzzy blue turtle. “Uhhh…” She glanced all around, sweating. “Uhhhhhh…”
Filthy Rich blinked, his muzzle growing tight as a sharp breath escaped him. “Wait…” He leaned forward. “I… know you, don’t I?” He blinked. “Ponyville…?”
Rainbow Dash saw Filthy. She frowned--almost snarled. Jolting, she clenched her eyes shut, then reverse-somersaulted onto her hooves.
The stallions gasped once more as Rainbow seemed to roll towards Filthy, but uprighted herself at the last second, hovering about to face Fancy Pants.
“Salt licks aren’t gonna cut it!” she barked.
“I beg your pardon?” Fancy Pants remarked with legitimate curiosity.
“That’s not how you win your way into Buffalo’s hearts!” She took a deep, proud breath. “But I’ll tell you what is! Apple pies!”
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Daaash you fool! You could have sold them the information!
Edit: ohwait. I just realized who would be providing these pies...
Yesssss! Go Dash! Also, nice way to turn the 'being caught' trope around, hehe
Sweet Apple Acres(tm) Apple Pies!
And hey, without a business partner, they get to reap 100% of the proceeds. Thanks, Filthy!
These are two of the most ShortSkirts-ian lines yet.
This is good. My crackshot theory in the last chapter was totally wrong. Woo.
This is so similar to another fic I've read
Very petite, Rainbow boomer is.
We have reached Peak Skirts in this story.
OH MY GOD SKIRTS
STOP
Ooooh.
Well, I guess we can stop wondering where the second Sentinel of Urohringr ended up.
I see Rainbow is quick on her hooves when caught in a situation much like this one. She may have just got the Apple farm back in alliance with Flithy Rich! I wouldn't mind getting to see a world of ponies living the life of steampunk.