MLP: Friendship is FTL

by SabreXio

First published

Follow the exploits of a mercenary starship in an unpredictable galaxy.

I'm Captain Clayton Cormorant of the Starship Requiem. Follow me and my best friend Twilight "Sparks" Sparkle as we explore the galaxy, make friends and enemies and generally get into trouble.

MLP/FTL Crossover with references to other stuff
First crossover ever. positive comments and suggestions welcomed.
I'll add character tags as they are added in the story.

New Recruit

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"Where the hell is that pilot?" I asked as I fiddled with my combat knife. We'd been waiting in this bar for what felt like an eternity, expecting to meet up with the pilot Sparks had recruited.

"Calm down Blades," she said, "I'm sure she'll be here"

Twilight Sparkle, or "Sparks" as I called her, was the best defense technician ever to graduate the Celestial Academy. She took care of the shielding systems and other defensive measures onboard our ship. She was also my best friend since we met back in the academy during a random combat simulation where a ship and crew were chosen and placed in a random situation. I still remember seeing her for the first time and thinking 'holy shit, I get to work with her?'. She was drop dead gorgeous: her long purple hair had pink and violet streaks in it, her eyes a similar sparkling shade, and that body: hot damn. She introduced herself as Sparks the defense tech and informed me that she'd be taking care of shields. I introduced myself as Blades, we shook hands and I told her that I was the weapons tech and drone system operator. The rest was history, the two of us grew close and eventually were inseparable, through Academy, Graduation and she even came along when I suggested we become 'freeroamers', spaceships that roam the galaxy doing jobs for others ranging from cargo transport to full-fledged mercenary work. And yes, I do have a massive crush on her.

"I know, I know." I replied putting the knife down, "I just hate this waiting around when we could be out there exploring and getting into trouble"
That's when a stranger approached our table.

"Can I help you?" I asked slightly upset.

"If one of you two is a Twilight Sparkle, then I think I can help you." she answered.

"That's me." Sparks answered, "You must be the pilot I talked to"
The pilot took a seat with us.

"Yep, that's me. Name's Dash by the way." she said offering a hand to me "You got a name?"

"Captain Clayton Cormorant," I answered shaking her hand, "But just call me Blades"

"Can do. So is it just you two?" Dash asked

"Just us and a few drones." I replied, then became serious, "So Dash, what qualifies you have to fly our ship?"

"Well to start, I graduated top of my flight class. I've flown all kinds of ships, so I'm kinda the best pilot ever" she answered confidently
I chuckled a little
"Confident, I like it." I said "But have you ever flown a ship like this?"
I brought up a holographic image of the ship, The Requiem, from the computer on my arm. Dash studied the data for a moment.

"Hmm...impressive." she said "I've never seen a ship like that"

"This is Requiem: it's an experimental Engi frigate Sparks and I salvaged"

"Let's see here." the pilot said, "High output engines...active cloaking...well I can tell it's fast, which I like."

"Do you think you can fly it?" I asked.

"Will a Mantis eat it's young?" she asked rhetorically.

"Well, I'm sold." I declared "Any objections?"

"I got one question: what's with the hair?" Sparks asked
Dash had hair that looked like a box of crayons, every color of the rainbow was represented and she had it pulled back into a tight pony-tail.

"Because it's awesome" Dash replied making both of us laugh

"Well then" I said "Welcome aboard The Requiem Dash"
I got us some drinks to celebrate as we all talked and got to know each other.

"So how'd you two get your badges?" Dash asked. She was referring to the patched on our suits that symbolized our specialties: mine was a bullet crossed with a knife, while Twilight had a purple spark.

"I got mine because I'm a Combat Specialist," I said "If it has an edge or a barrel, I can kill you with it."

"And I got mine when I mastered psychokinesis." Sparks said, creating a confused look on Dash's face.

"Psycho-what now?" she replied confused.

"She calls it that," I interjected "I call it magic."

"But what does that mean?" she asked

"It would be easier to just show you" Twilight replied. She then raised a hand to shoulder height and focused on her glass. A faint purple aura formed around it and the glass began to float into the air.

"But...how...you..." Stuttered the pilot.

"That reaction never gets old." I said.

"But...how can you do that?" Dash asked amazed.

"I'm not really sure." Twilight admitted, "I guess I was just born with it."
I leaned over to Dash.
"Just accept it." I whispered "Trust me, it saves a lot of frustration."

"Got it." She replied with a smile "Next question, what do the two of you do on the ship?"

"I'm the defense technician" Twilight said "I handle the shield systems as well as the armor and cloaking"

"And I'm the Weapons Technician" I added "I handle offensive weaponry, automated drones, and I handle intruders"

"So that means I'll be responsible for piloting and engines." Dash said

"Yes, but don't worry," I replied "Sparks and I both have a little experience with engines, so we can help."
We talked for another hour or so, just getting to know each other.

"Well I don't know about you two," Dash said as she stood up from the table "but I'm itchin' to get going."

"Yeah, we probably should get back." I agreed

"Agreed." Twilight said

I paid for the drinks and the three of us made our way through the spaceport to the docking bay, trying not to get in a fight with belligerent Mantis or Rockmen. This place was bustling with activity: Engi and repair drones were dashing around fixing ships, Rockmen were carrying huge supply boxes to be loaded onto waiting ships, Mantis and anti-personnel drones were patrolling to make sure no one got out of line, even a few Slugmen and Zoltan were helping out with the work.

"Ah...there she is," I said "The Requiem."

The ship was suspended in a work area surrounded by scaffolding. This ship was the picture of elegance with it's swept back wings and streamlined construction. It actually reminded me a lot of a ship from an old video game I played. What was that ship called again? Normandy...Nesasio...eh, something like that.

"It's even more impressive up close." Dash said in amazement, "I'm going to enjoy flying this baby."
We walked over to the elevator where a Slugman was waiting.

"Boarding?" he asked.

"Yes." I answered as the three of us stepped onto the lift.

"Going up." he replied as the lift floated up to the starboard airlock. I entered a code and the door slid open.

"Thank you, sir." I said as Dash and Twilight entered the ship.

"My pleasure." the Slugman replied. I boarded and met back up with the other two in a central room near the center of the ship.

"TWILIGHT!" exclaimed a happy computerized voice. We all watched as a small Engi dashed through a door at the far side and through its arms around Twilight's legs in a hug.

"I missed you." it said. Twilight crouched down and returned the hug.

"I missed you too, Spike"

Another larger track-laying robot then entered. His V shaped red visor and broad body supported by a pair of caterpillar tracks

"Subject: Captain Cormorant. Status: Returned. Emotional Response: Joy" the battle drone said in his procedural speech as he rolled up next to me.

"Good to see you too, Grim" I said.

"Um...I don't mean to break this up but..." Dash said as she pointed to the two robots "Who are they?"

"ALERT, ALERT: UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL DETECTED" My drone declared as he armed his cannons. "Engaging"

"Stand down Grimlock." I ordered as I jumped between him and Dash "She's a friend."

"Disengaging defense protocols." Grimlock said as he disabled his weapons. "Emotional State: Apologetic"

"He said he's sorry" I said to Dash

"Dash, this is SP1K3." Twilight said as she introduced the Engi, "But we all just call him 'Spike'. He's my little helper"

"Pleased to meet you." Spike said as he offered a claw, "How would you prefer I address you?"

"You can just call me 'Dash'" the pilot replied as she returned his gesture

"And this is Grimlock: he's a custom built anti-personnel combat drone" I said as I leaned on the shoulder tall robot's head

"Grimlock acknowledges new allied unit. IFF data updated. Crewmember 'Dash' added" he said

"Oh and I almost forgot" I said remembering one more member "Victor, why don't you introduce yourself?"

"I think that's a splendid idea, Captain" replied a ridiculously over-enthusiastic tone

"What the hell!" Dash exclaimed, her eyes darting around to find the disembodied voice, "What was that?"

"Hello Dash, I'm the Requiem's onboard artificial intelligence" The computer said, "My designation is V1C70R, but everyone just calls me Victor, or Vic, either one's fine"

"Is he always..." Dash began

"Yes." Twilight and I answered.

"Affirmative." Spike and Grimlock said simultaneously.

"Ok then," she sighed "It's very nice to meet you, Vic."

"Well now that we're all introduced, what's say we get this show on the road."

The Adventure Begins

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"So, where's the Flight Deck?", asked Dash

"Just through there", I answered, pointing to the door "Grimlock can show..."

BOOM
Something huge exploded and rocked the ship throwing us all off balance.

"Uh, Victor, what the hell was that?" I asked as I regained my footing

"I'm checkin' for ya", the computer replied
After a short pause, Victor came back.
"I hate to be a bummer gang, but it looks like a division of Rebel warships are laying siege to the spaceport", he reported with disproportional happiness

BOOM
Another explosion, more tremors.

"If I could make a suggestion", Spike said as he picked himself up "we may want to leave"

"Good idea", I agreed turning to my shipmates "Battle stations people"

We all split up and bolted for our respective positions. I skidded to a stop and quickly powered up the weapons. I had several screens that all fired up, each showing a different set of data, from weapon ammo and heat, to target and guidance.

"Shields up", Twilight said over radio

"Engines primed and ready", Dash said

"Guns online", I reported "Holy crap that's a lot of Rebels"
My targeting computer was lit up with rebel signatures who had formed a ring around the station. I began scanning the ships for a weak point.

"Ok here's the plan: Dash, you keep us movin' 'til I find a weakness. Once I do, I'll designate it and hammer it with lasers; you're going to bee-line through the hole and FTL us outta here"

"Thread the needle on your signal" she said "Child's play"

"Sparks: you already know what to do"

"Roger that, Blades" She replied

After our little briefing, Dash kicked the thrusters on and bolted out of the ship bay. Twilight had already raised the cloak so the ships would never see us leave. Once out, the cloak wore off leaving only a shield and Dash's piloting between us and a fiery doom. I kept scanning until I found my target: a Rebel auto-scout.

"Target acquired" I reported, designating the small ship on Dash's radar, "Soon as I blast that thing, go for it"

"Any time now" Dash replied. She was quite busy bobbing and weaving, dodging missiles and lasers. My weapons locked on and were ready. I fired.

"Lasers away!" I cried as two red bolts of focused light streaked forward, pounding the unshielded drone's engines, disabling it and causing it to float away a bit.

"Hang on, this is gonna be close" Dash said as she maneuvered the cruiser through the battle toward our exit. With inches to spare, Dash blasted through the hole and jumped us to Faster-Then-Light speeds. I relaxed and applauded our work.

"Nice work everybody" I said "Very nicely done"

"Man, say what you will about the Engi," Dash said, "but they can build a ship. This thing handles like a dream"

"Glad you approve", I replied as I powered down weapons "I just wish the Rebels would leave us alone"

"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you messed with them" Twilight replied a little miffed

"Hey, you thought it was funny too" I shot back

"What did you do?" the pilot asked

"I might have played a few pranks on some rebel ships" I answered

"What kind of pranks?"

"Suggestion: recount 'drone dance party' incident" I heard Grimlock say

"Oh, that one" I said with a chuckle "I once reprogramed a Rebel Rigger's AP Drones to start dancing to Michael Jackson's Thriller"

"That's awesome" Dash replied through her laughter

"Oh and there was that time I modified a cruiser's comm system so instead of displaying a video feed of the bridge, it played a clip of Keyboard Cat"

"Ok, I'll admit, that one was kinda funny" Twilight said giggling a little

"It's just too easy when you take yourself that seriously" I said "but apparently they didn't find it very funny"

"I believe they defined it as, quote 'an unprovoked cyber attack with intent to sabotage Rebellion equipment' unquote" Spike added
We talked about the pranks I've pulled for a little while until I felt we needed to get back to work.

"Why don't you guys meet me here in the weapons room so we can discuss our next move" I said

"On my way, Blades" Twilight said

"How do I get there again?" asked Dash

"Recommendation: Follow" Grimlock said


A few minutes later, all five of us were assembled in the weapon bay.

"So..." Dash started "what kind of work do we do?"

"Whatever we want to" I answered "but there are a few rules..."
Grimlock interrupted, slipping into a hardwired response
"Rules of engagement are as follows: (1) We are not pirates or slavers, and we will conduct ourselves as such; (2) Pirates and slavers are always hostile; (3) If you are unsure of what you can or can not do, ask; (4) Do not do anything stupid"

"Thank you, Grim" I said as he finished "That's pretty much it, we just do whatever work comes up"

"I hate to interrupt, but there's a ship trying to hail us" Victor informed us

"Onscreen" I ordered as we all turned to look at the largest of my consoles. Onscreen was an Engi, most likely the ship's pilot, and he looked a little worried.

"Greetings" it said "fuel levels low: requesting assistance"

"So you need fuel?" I asked just to clarify. We had plenty of fuel cells, so we could spare them to help.

"Affirmative" it replied "We will exchange twenty scrap for three fuel cells"

"Deal" I replied with a nod "I'll send the cells over"

"Excellent" the pilot said with what I guess is the Engi equivalent of a smile "The scrap material has been prepared and is ready for exchange"

I had Spike rig up a special arm a while back that could be used to move packages between ships. Using it, Spike grabbed the crate of scrap from the Engi ship and replaced it with the crate containing the fuel cells.

"Transaction complete, you have our thanks Captain" the Engi said

"Think nothing of it" I replied "Safe travels"
The pilot cut contact and jumped to FTL. I turned back to my crew.

"Oh, and one rule I forgot: we always help if we can"

"Ok, so when do we get to do something crazy?" asked Dash "I really don't want to just trade stuff"

"Don't worry, Dash" Twilight said "We always have a way of getting into trouble"

Powerful in Pink

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After our narrow escape from the Rebel fleet and helping out the stranded Engi, we were kinda just cruising through the galaxy, salvaging what we found laying around. That is until we jumped to this sector.

"Sir, that ship is hailing us", Victor said as I quit out of my game of Minecraft

"Everyone head to the bridge" I said as I left the weapons bay "Let's see what they want"
About a minute later, the five of us had assembled in on the bridge.

"Onscreen" I commanded. The video feed showed a human, but he didn't seem friendly. His face was scarred from combat, and he had a look in his eye that said he meant business.

"Greetings Captain" he said "I have a proposition for you"

"And what would that be?" I asked

"Surrender one of your crew and you will be allowed to pass through unhindered" he said with an evil smile
I had no intention of giving in to his demands.

"And if I refuse?"

"Then I will reduce your ship to slag" He replied, but then his expression changed
"I'll even give you five hundred credits for the pretty one in purple"
That does it

"If you want her, you go through me" I threatened

"Have it your way" he shrugged as he cut the transmission

"ALERT: teleporter signature detected" Grimlock reported as he swiveled 180 degrees on his frame.

In the reflection of the now inactive video screen, I could see three armed human pirates standing at the far side of the room, weapons raised. I spun around ready to fight, but my drone was way ahead of me. His arm-mounted kinetic rifles fired off three rounds each, cutting clean through the invaders
"All targets neutralized" Reported the warbot

"That's how it's done" I celebrated "Dash..."

"Time for some payback?" the pilot offered

"You read my mind, get ready for action" we all returned to our stations as Dash evaded the now active weapons of the slave ship. I activated our own weapons and prepared for battle.

"Alright, now we need to disable that ship without destroying it"

"What? Why?" I heard Dash ask "Let's just waste this sucker"

"Because, if they wanted to make one of us a slave, then they may have more onboard" Spike pointed out

"And we can't risk hurting those innocents" Twilight added
Spike forwarded a schematic of the ship, an old Kestrel Cruiser, I could now see just what we needed to hit to disable the ship.

"Ok, first target is the engines" I said as I primed the beam laser turret "We wouldn't want them to run away"
I moved some of the augmented reality panels around until I found the targeting system. I set the target over the ship's main fuel tank, specifically the fuel lines, located on the aft section of the former Federation ship.

"Cutting the fuel lines now" I said as Dash flew us over the ship. The beam turret unleashed its energy slicing clean across the fuel feeds.

"I'm reading full engine failure, Captain" Spike said

BOOM

"Warning: Missile impact on noncritical subsystem hub" Grimlock reported

"I'm on it" Spike said as he left to fix the damage
Dash then jerked the ship sharply upwards.
"Dammit! Blades, anything you can do about that launcher?" she asked

"Gimme a minute" I replied as I brought up specs on the weapon. I found the weakness: as the weapon loads, it vents heat into space giving me a short window to blast the exposed munitions.

"I got it. Dash get us under that ship's bow: I need a clear shot"

"Careful of that laser cannon too" Twilight added "Our shields can stop it but they can't do that all day"

"Noted" Dash replied as she skillfully piloted the ship into position

"Right there" I said as I swiveled the burst laser into position. I had to bide my time until the vent opened

"What are you waiting for, an invitation?!" Dash exclaimed as she dodged the latest missile.

"I'd like one" I replied sarcastically. Then the vent opened. I fired, the two bolts streaked forward, one impacting uselessly on the hull, while the other hit dead center. The launcher erupted and fell apart, but it wasn't over. The blast flew back up into the ship, and judging from the sensor data Victor was giving me, had torched the weapons bay.

"...And boom goes the dynamite" I said in victory, compounded with the cheers of my shipmates.
"OK, all systems are offline" I said as I turned around and approached the armory "Time for step two"

"And that is?" Dash asked as I grabbed my choice of weapons: a straight-bladed machete-like sword, a set of kunai-style throwing knives and a Predator pistol.

"Simple, we go in and find out if there were any prisoners"

"All right, so let's go" Dash said as she docked the ships together

"Negative" Grimlock said "Only two combat specialists present"

"What!" she replied indignantly "Come on"

"Grimlock's right" Twilight said "And besides, we need you here just in case we need to make a quick exit"

"Fine" She said with a sigh "Have it your way"

"Next time Dash, I promise"
I met Grimlock at the forward airlock, ready to roll.

"Ready?" I asked the mech

"Affirmative"
The airlock closed behind us and sealed, then the doors opposite us hissed as they opened. On the other side, I could see why the ship was so easy to disable. As Grim and I entered the damaged ship, we could see that the craft was grossly under-maintained.

"This ship is in critical condition" Grimlock said

"I heard that. I'm surprised their isn't any duct tape holding it together" I agreed as I drew my pistol. I also hit the communicator mounted on my wrist.
"Spike, locate the most likely place for prisoner storage"

"Hmmm...Ah, there we go. Blades, try looking near the rear of the ship" the little Engi replied "That's where I'd keep a prisoner"

"OK, everyone remember that if Spike goes crazy" I said, garnering giggles from Twilight and Dash

"Oh har har, very funny" he replied sarcastically "You may also want to make it quick, I'm reading oxygen levels falling"
I took the hint and began making my way through the ship toward the rear. We passed through two sets of blast doors and arrived at the weapons bay. Every inch of the room was scorched from the missile that detonated in the tube. consoles were shattered, and I think there was a dead guy shredded up in the corner.

"Wow" I said "We really gutted this place, huh" I asked Grimlock

"Affirmative" he replied, but then stopped
"Captain, enemy detected" he reported
I drew my sword, ready to engage.
"Where?" I asked

"Outside the door, two targets; one immediate, one facing away"
I was ready. The door opened and the pirate nearby turned around

"Who the fuck are...?" he began but it was too late. In one motion, I sliced the sword across his throat, causing him to stumble back and fall over dead. His buddy stood up from repairing a power line (With duct tape), and upon seeing his friend now dead on the floor, drew his pistol and...
BANG
A shot rang out from behind me and the pirate dropped like a stone.

"Nice shot, Grim" I said

"Targeting error encountered" he said as his rifle retracted back into his arm "Reevaluation of targeting protocols necessary"

"Later, let's keep going. If Spike is right then the prisoner should be just ahead"
We made our way through the last part of the ship and the engine room with no trouble. Behind the engine room was a small cargo compartment retrofitted to hold prisoners. The room had cells along the walls where a single prisoner cold be contained behind a force field. At the far end of the room was a single active barrier that was keeping a Zoltan locked up. The Zoltan was curled up in the corner and bore an odd characteristic: it was a dark pink (No, it wasn't red, it was dark pink. Deal with it).

"Hey, you OK?" I asked as Grimlock examined the control pad. It stood up and looked back at me with its bright blue eyes. I always found the Zoltan race fascinating; after all, who wouldn't be interested in a race that is essentially a living reactor. This Zoltan, aside from it being pink, was also thinner and more feminine then most of the green Zoltan I had met

"Aside from the fact that I'm locked up in this place by a bunch of mean ol' meanie heads?" she replied in a squeaky voice "I'm fine"

"Well, don't worry, we're here to get you out" I assured her

"Let me see, I'd need to reroute power away the shield generator" Sparks said as she tried to shut down the shield "then I'd need to drain the..."
SMASH.

"Bypass complete" Grimlock said as the shield flickered and finally faded away

"...Or you could just punch the control panel" she said "that works too" I could imagine she was face-palming.
Then a siren went off and all the lights began to flash red.

"Self-Destruct system engaged" a computerized voice said "T-minus thirty seconds to reactor meltdown. All personnel report to escape pods for evacuation.

"Aaaand that's our cue to leave" I said "Grim, cover the rear. Dash, have the ship ready to leave"
We then bolted back through the ship, racing against the countdown. We passed a few other pirates, but they were to caught up with self preservation to care. We reached the airlock as the timer reached ten. The doors slammed shut and the other side opened to Requiem. Once onboard, our door sealed and the docking clamps released.

"Dash, get us out of here!"
The ship pulled away from the dying craft not a moment too soon. As soon as we cleared its radius, the pirate ship exploded into chunks.
"I think that went well" I said

"Thank you for saving me" the Zoltan said as I lead her to the weapons bay to meet the rest of my friends

"No problem" I said as we passed the last door "It's what we do"

"We?"

"Of course" I replied as I gestured to the people and Engi in the room

"Dashie?" The Zoltan said when she saw our pilot

"Pinkie?" replied the surprised pilot

"Dashie!" she cheered as she shot forward and wrapped Dash in a hug "Ohmygosh, I can't believe it's you, Dashie"

"It's nice to see you too, Pinks" Dash replied "But...I can't...breathe"

"Oh, sorry" Pinkie said as she released her death grip on Dash

"I take it you two know each other?" Twilight said

"Uh huh, me and Dashie are best friends"

"We go way back" Dash added "Here, let me introduce you"
After a quick intro, we all had one question.

"So, Pinkie, what will you do now?" I asked

"Um, I don't really know" she answered, her color becoming a bit darker "I don't really have a place to go"

"Hey, why don't we let her join us?" Dash offered, causing the Zoltan to light back up "Trust me, she will be a huge help"
I looked at Twi and Spike, who both nodded yes

"I don't see why not" I said "Welcome aboard Pinkie"

"Ohmygosh, this is going to be so AWESOME..."
She then seemed to morph into a small sphere and shoot across the room where she reformed back into normal form
"we'll have adventure and fight evil stuff..."
She changed again and shot off to a different part of the room
"And we'll make all kinds of friends and see so much cool stuff..."
She shot in front of me and immediately wrapped me in a bone-crushing hug
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

This is going to be interesting

Space Spiders. Why is it always space spiders?

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"Ok, that's all the scrap parts we can use from that." I said as my crew finished moving the last salvaged components. we'd found a derelict freighter and had spent the better part of six hour stripping it of usable parts. Thank goodness for that cargo arm, it makes salvage so much easier.

"Whew," Dash sighed as she wiped the sweat from her brow, "That thing had A LOT of missiles"

"I know, I'm exhausted" added Spike.

"Error: you expended nearly zero energy." Grimlock pointed out.

"He's right Spike, all you did was ride around on his back." Twilight said.

"Yeah, but you guys took so long I missed snack time." the little Engi said. Good old Spike: always thinking with his stomach.

"I didn't even know Engi ate anything." Pinkie chirped happily as she shot across the cargo bay. Her ability to do that confused me to no end.

"Of course we do." Spike replied indignantly. he was a little sensitive about being treated like a robot.

"Engi aren't machines, Pinkie. They're cyborgs. Well, they're more robot than not, but they're still cyborgs." I explained.

"OOOOH, I'll make snacks." Pinkie said as she morphed into her ball form. she then shot upwards into a light on the ceiling and disappeared. I looked to Dash, hoping she could explain what her old friend was up to.

"Pinkie likes to cook." Dash said, "I was surprised that she could."

"Is she any good at it?" Spike asked.

"I'm not really sure. She usually eats all the stuff she makes." Dash said as we headed for the lift in the center of the room, "She has quite the appetite."

"That actually makes sense." Sparks said, "I've been doing some research on the Zoltan and I found something very interesting."

"Really? You? Doing research?" I asked jokingly. Twilight playfully punched me in the shoulder.

"Oh, shut up. I found out that Pink Zoltan are actually very special. She's almost exactly like a normal green Zoltan, but her energy matrix is unstable; that's why she changes brightness so often. That's also why she needs to eat so much: she expends energy almost twice as fast as a human or Engi." The lift lurched as it began to raise us to the living area of the ship.

"Is that why she's a little..." I made a few circles next to my head.

"It's not doing her any favors."
The lift reached the living area of the ship: a section that sat on top of the combat center that housed living quarters, and all the other amenities a ship would need for prolonged spaceflight.

"Hey, is there any reason why Pinkie is going crazy in the kitchen?" Victor asked as we made our way there. As the last door slid open, we saw the pink Zoltan darting around the room like a bullet.

"Incapable of tracking target" Grimlock said as his head tried to follow the blur. She'd shoot from one point to another, briefly return to her humanoid form, then morph again and repeat.

"How the hell is she doing that?" I asked. The Zoltan stopped, her blue eyes locking on us.

"Oh, hi guys." she said happily, "I made cupcakes!"
She pointed to the table in the center of the room, where a plate piled with what looked like cupcakes sat. The only difference being they were glowing a faint green.

"Uh, Pinkie? Why are they glowing?" Spike asked.

"Old Zoltan recipe." She said, "C'mon, try one."
I grabbed one of the cupcakes and looked it over. If it weren't for the odd glow, they would look delicious.

"Do you not like it?" Pinkie asked, her color darkening quite a bit. I couldn't let her be this sad and besides, the only ingredients on the ship were safe for humans.

Please don't kill me. I thought as I took a bite. The cake actually tasted really good, very sweet with a touch of spice.

"Mmmm. Actually, that's not bad." I said as I swallowed the bite, "Why is it spicy though?"

"Oh that's the secret ingredient." Pinkie said as she ate one of them whole, "Just a smidge of FTL fuel."
I froze. Did she just...

"D-did you say...*gulp*...FTL fuel?" I asked, hoping she was kidding.

"Yepper, it's great on everything." The Zoltan said with a smile.

"Victor, am I gonna die?" I asked

"It's entirely possible to ingest FTL fuel and live, but not much." he replied cheerfully.
I watched Spike climb onto a chair and take one of them. With his built-in scanner, he looked the baked good over.

"It looks like the amount of fuel is just below the lethal dose." Spike said as he took a bite, looking like he was analyzing it as he chewed, "And it does taste good."
The rest of the joined us and her Zoltan cupcakes were a huge hit. As we sat around the pile of cakes, we began asking the mysterious crewmember about herself.

"So Pinkie, how exactly did you get up here so fast?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, that's easy," she replied, "I just zoomed through the ship's power conduits."

"You can do that?" Dash asked as she finished her cupcake "I don't ever remember you doing that before."

"You just never saw me do it, Dashie." she said, "How do you think I always showed up behind you?"
Dash thought for a minute, then her eyes got bigger as though he mind had just been blown.

"This explains a lot." The pilot said.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't do that too often though, Pinkie." Victor chirped, "That felt really weird."

"Inquiry: how do you two know each other?" Grimlock asked. For a battle droid, he really did show an interest in others.

"I took some freelance work as a Trident pilot, escorting freighters." Dash said, "Turns out, Pinkie can knock out the electronics on a ship, just by being angry."

"Oh now THIS I gotta hear." I said as I leaned back in my chair. This little Zoltan could knock out an entire freighter?

"One of those mean ol' Mantis kept saying I looked delicious." Pinkie recounted, "It started to creep me out, but Dashie jumped in to stop him."

"Inference: You attacked, but were overpowered by, the Mantis?" Grimlock guessed.

"Exactly." Dash said, "It was going well until I saw they had wings."

"When I saw that big old bug trying to hurt her, I just got really angry and accidently blew up the power core."

"Yeah, but it stopped that big bug from eating me." Dash said as she put an arm around the energy being, "And let's not forget: it was AWESOME!"

"Pinkie, I beg of you: please don't do that to me." Victor said, his happy voice masking the urgency of his plea.

"Oh, don't worry Victor, I'd never do that to you." Pinkie said with a giggle. We talked, laughed and ate for a while, but as usual, Victor interrupted our break.

"I know you guys are having fun and all, but I just picked up a distress call from a nearby mining colony." the A.I. said, "Would you like to respond?"
I just sighed.

"Go ahead." I said. A large screen folded down from the ceiling and flashed to life, showing a grainy picture of a frantic looking Rockman. at least I think he was frantic, it's a little hard to read a Rockman's expression.

"This is Base Commander Igneous of mining outpost X32." he said, his deep voice confirming my suspicion of urgency, "Requesting immediate assistance from anyone in range."

"This is the Starship Requiem," I replied, "What's the problem, Igneous?"

"It's all gone to hell here. Somehow, Space Spiders got in and are tearing the place apart. They already took out the automated defenses and most of our security teams and are getting close to life support. We need help or we're as good as dead."

"Understood Commander. We'll be there as soon as we can."
The screen blacked out and retracted back into the ceiling. We all got up from the table and made our way to the lift.

"Victor, plot a course for that outpost." I commanded. I sent the lift to the combat level, just under the living area.

"You got it." He replied as the elevator started to move.

"So," Dash said, "Space Spiders."

"Yep, again." I replied.

"Do I have to come for this one?" Pinkie asked nervously, "I'm not so good at the whole 'fighting' thing."

"Actually Pinkie, I have a special job for you." I said as the lift door opened to the Combat Center, "I need you to use the base's power network to get to the survivors."

"Ok, um, why?" She asked.
We entered the weapons bay and went to a door past my gun console. Inside was the armory; not as well stocked as I'd like, but it would do.

"You are going to help protect the survivors." I said, "They need someone who can keep them hopeful while the rest of us clear a path."

"Happy I can do." she said with renewed vigor.

"We know." everyone said simultaneously.

"Alright, Grimlock, you're the tip of the spear." I said to the drone. He responded by priming his cannons.

"Extermination protocol engaged." he said.

"Sparks, Dash; we need all the help we can get, so you two are coming."

"I'll need a gun." Dash said. I flipped a switch on the wall and it spun around, revealing a wall of rifles, pistols and shotguns. I grabbed a Carnivore Shotgun and spun the top loaded cylinder.

"Pick your poison." I said. The pilot grabbed a Shredder submachine gun and a Predator pistol. Twilight took a pistol as well, but she wasn't really planning on using it.

"Spike, you're staying with Victor..."

"In case you need a quick exit?" Spike finished for me. Apparently, I say that a lot.

"Time to destination, twenty minutes." Victor said. I moved to another panel and grabbed a pair of vests.

"Here, carbon nanosteel armor. Built-in kinetic barrier generator." I said as the humans took the armor. I grabbed the third vest and put it on, then felt the tingling of the energy shield wash over me as the kinetic barrier kicked on. All three of us took a headset and synced them to Grimlock's combat software.

"Everyone ready?" I asked. Each one said yes. We all headed to the airlock, just in time for the arrival.

"We're here!" Victor sang. Docking to the station now."

"Roger that, get ready people." I said as I readied my shotgun. I heard Dash load a clip into her gun and Twilight was focusing her mind for her PK attacks.

"OK, I'm docked and linked into the power systems." Victor said, "Go ahead Pinkie."

"Okie Dokie Lokie." She said as she phased into the floor. I contacted the Base Commander.

"Come in Commander Igneous, This is the Requiem. Do you read?"
I heard Static over my communicator, but it cleared up.

"This is Igneous, I read you." The gruff voice replied

"My crew and I are standing by to help." I said, "What's the situation?"

"Deteriorating quickly." the Rockman said, "Unless you have an army, we need to evacuate ASAP."

"Understood, one of my people is on her way, we'll meet up with you as soon as we can."

"WHAT IN THE...!" a voice said, probably from behind Igneous, "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM!?"

"That would be my crewmate." I said. "She's there to help keep you alive until we get there."

"Hurry!" The now frantic Commander pleaded, "I can hear them outside."

"Acknowledged." I said before cutting the connection. I looked to my allies, "Let's rock."
The Airlock door opened with a hiss...or maybe that was the huge eight legged freak behind it. I raised my weapon to my shoulder and fired twice, shredding the creature. We followed the battle drone into the infested station, killing spiders as we went. Dash was surprisingly good with an SMG for a pilot and it never got old watching Twilight throw enemies around like ragdolls, or zap them with psychic lightening. Grimlock, though, was in the zone: his cannons swept all opposition, reducing spiders to curled up and charred corpses.

"Nearly there." I shouted over the gunfire. I could see the large steel blast door that Pinkie and Igneous were. We approached the door and turned to hold the position while I contacted the Rockman again.

"Igneous, Open the door." I ordered as I knocked the cylinder out of my shotgun, quickly replacing it with another. The hydraulic door groaned, then opened slowly. We fell back behind it and the door slammed shut again.

"Holy shit." I gasped, "That's a lot of fucking spiders."

"Good to see you made it." I turned to see the Rockman I'd been talking to as well as a few others: Human and Engi, most likely miners or technicians.

"Igneous, I presume?" The Rockman nodded.

"Hi Clayton." Pinkie chirped as she shot over to us.

"So Are any of you security?" I asked the Commander.

"A few, but most of us are just workers."

"Ok; Grimlock."
The battle droid opened his back panel revealing a small cache of handguns. I grabbed a few of them and handed them out to the humans and Engi, they were too small for the Rockman to use anyway.

"Ok, we open that door and come out guns blazing." I said, "Then we fight our way back to the ship."

"You're insane." One of the humans said, "There's no way we can make it."

"Then you can stay here and take you're chances against the Spiders." Igneous growled. I like this guy.

"Estimated chance of successful evacuation: 86%." Grimlock said, "Estimated chance of survival: 11.3%."

"Ok, I get it."

"Igneous, Open that door." I said as we all took our positions, "Everyone follow the robot, but stay together."
the door ground open again to an army of spiders, Grimlock opened up with everyone else and we began the push back to Requiem

"Victor, get the door ready to open." I ordered as I shot another spider. Pinkie might have said she was not a fighter, but she could dish out some damage with her energy pulses. I also watched the Rockman destroy a few spiders with his stony hands. We pushed to the Ship as I covered the rear.

"Let's go! Move it!" I ordered as I waved people in.

"HELP ME!"
I saw a Spider grab one of the Engi. Thinking Quickly, I charged at the bug. I swung the weapon and nailed the spider in the face, staggering him and allowing the cyborg to run to the safety of the ship. I fired and killed the spider than made a run for the ship.

"OPEN FIRE!" I shouted as I entered the airlock, we needed to hold them off while the door closed. All the workers raised their pistols and fired a wave of slugs, scaring off the Spiders. There was a long silence as we all caught our breath.

"Well that was fun." I said as the ship disconnected, "Anyone up for another go?"

Rewards and Revenge

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"Thank you again, Cormorant." Commander Igneous said, "We owe you our lives."

"It's our pleasure, Igneous." I replied, "But what are you going to do now?"

"There is a Federation station at the next jump beacon." the Rockman said, "They can clear the station, or at least call someone to do it. Then we can go back and get back to work."

"Got it." I said, then calling to Victor, "Tell Dash to head to the next jump point and find that station."

"On it." The happy A.I. replied, "I'd estimate about a half an hour until arrival."

"There isn't anything we can offer you as a reward, Captain," Igneous said, "But there is something I can tell you: a secret among the Rock."

"You really don't have to do that." I assured him

"I insist Captain. You saved our lives, it's a Rockman thing."
I just shrugged. Part of me REALLY wanted to know this secret. The Rockman stood up and motioned for me to follow him. After we were out of earshot, he recounted his tale.

"There is a story among my people that tells of an ancient race," He began, "A race known only as 'the Precursors'."

"Precursors?"

"Yes, we Rock are direct descendants of these Precursors, but none remember them directly: they disappeared over five-thousand years ago. They had reached a level of perfect development: so perfect that legends say they could survive with no air."

I call bullshit I thought, but I actually said, "That's amazing."

"There are hundreds of stories like that, telling of there amazing abilities and skill, but the one you need to know is this: some say they are still around."
Now I'm really interested. A creature that impresses the mighty Rockmen would make an amazing addition to the team.

"Among their many technological marvels were highly advanced stasis systems that could, if the legends are true, preserve them almost indefinitely. If you could find one of these pods, you would have a powerful ally."

"But how would I find this creature?" I asked, "I doubt I'll see a sign that says 'Precursor this way'."

"They aren't, but I do remember one thing." he said, "A little rhyme we were all taught as children: 'Follow the crystals/ and you will find/ a powerful creature/ unlike any kind."

"Do you believe this?" I asked. This sounded like one of the tales old mercenaries or freighter workers told after one too many glasses of Mantis Bug Juice.

"There are a lot of bizarre things in this universe." He replied with what I thought was an introspective look, "I'd like to believe that not ALL of them want us dead."

"Thank you for telling me this."

"Just promise me you won't repeat this to anyone you don't trust."

"I wouldn't even tell my name to someone I don't trust." I replied, "This secret is safe with me."

"Jumping to FTL speeds. Everyone brace yourselves." Victor said as Dash primed the engines.

"Is your ship always so..."

"Yes. Yes he is." I interrupted. The ship shifted as it began to distort the space around it. I had asked Dash and Twilight to try and explain how the FTL system works, but I just got really confused. A few seconds later, the ship lurched again as we accelerated.

"I need to get back to my station, but we'll be arriving soon." I said

"Thank you again, Captain." Igneous said as I walked to the lift. A few minutes later i was sitting in my weapons bay, with a partially disassembled Carnivore shotgun on a workbench. Not only to I operate the starship's weapons and mechs, but I also maintain the small arms and armor we use, as well as requisitioning whatever we need. I'm also a bit of a tinkerer: I always had ideas and plans for grand devices and tools that I'd probably never find the parts to build.
That reminds me, we need more capacitors.


"There we go." I said as I finished cleaning the plasma remnants from my shotgun's barrel. It was always a bitch to clean this thing, since it had a different feed system than the others. That and its supercharged plasma slugs tended to leave a larger buildup of slag in the chamber, but I digress.

"We're almost there." Dash said through Victor's speakers.

I heard the familiar rattle of tracks as Grimlock came into the room.

"Hey Grimlock, what's up?" I asked the drone as I fitted the firing mechanism back together.
Grimlock didn't answer for a second. Then he looked up at the ceiling.

"The living quarters?" He replied confused.

"Grim, 'what's up' means 'what are you doing'." I clarified. I keep forgetting: Grimlock's A.I. needed to be exposed to different expressions to understand them, much like a human would.

"This unit's power cell is depleted." He droned, now understanding what I meant. He trundled to the power socket on the wall and spun in place before backing into it. His V shaped 'eye' dimmed and his arms went limp as he went offline.

"Victor, I'm going to order some ammo." I said as I fitted the barrel back on.

"You bet. I'll keep everyone else out." He chirped.

"Good." I replied as I stood up and replaced the weapon in the armory. I grabbed my sword and sheathed it on my back, then headed for the starboard airlock where my friends were.

"So, what are you guys going to do while we're here?" I heard Dash ask as I joined them.

"Spike and I are going to the Data Core." Twilight said, "Maybe we can find something interesting."

"And I'm gonna go see what kind of yummy ingredients I can find." Pinkie said, bouncing in place.

"Pinkie, please make sure those ingredients are safe for everyone to eat." I reminded her, "You almost gave me a heart attack when you said I was eating Jump fuel."

"What about you?" Dash asked me, "What are you going to do?"

"We need more capacitors for weapons, so I'm heading to the Arms Dealer." I said, "You just try to stay out of trouble."

"Me? Get in trouble?" Dash said feigning insult, "What would make you think that?"
The airlock opened to the main deck of the station. The cargo bay was also linked into the station, letting Igneous and his crew enter as well.

"You tried to fight a Mantis one on one." Spike reminded her, "That's insane on it's own."

"It's only insanity if you're not enjoying it." Dash said with a sly smile. I just laughed.
Twilight and Spike left and headed toward the Data Core, Pinkie bolted off in another direction and Dash and I went a third way.

"So, what kind of reward do you think were getting for saving those miners?" Dash asked.

"Probably some credits." I said, "Maybe a few parts for robots or maybe some missiles."

"Booooring." She droned, "Why can't we ever get something cool?"

"Hey, we got a Zoltan the last time." I reminded her, "How is that not cool?"

"Touché." She replied after a minute of thinking. Then, she saw what she was looking for: a bar.

"Well, here's my stop." She said, "Have fun...doing whatever it is you do."

"Dash, please try to stay at least a little sober." I pleaded, "Victor doesn't like to clean vomit from his instrument panel."

"Don't worry. I'll only hit, like, three asteroids on the way out." She said as she disappeared inside.

"Thank the stars for autopilot." I mumbled to myself. A little further was the arms dealer I was looking for. I walked through the door and saw the clerk, a female Engi. She actually was an attractive woman, except for the metal plating on her chest and back, and the slivery sheen of her skin. She turned around from stocking one of the shelves with Predator pistols.

"Hello, Sir." she said politely with a tinny voice, "Is there anything I can help you find?"

"I'm looking for ammunition." I said. She seemed to fall into a trance for a moment, then regained her senses. I'd seen Spike do that before too, usually when he was checking something on his computers.

"We have ammunition for most known small arms, but I regret to inform you that we are fresh out of ship-to-ship missiles."
I remembered we had just salvaged a bunch of STS missiles from that freighter.
Time make a deal


I left the store about half an hour later, having secured more than enough ammunition in exchange for the missiles we'd salvaged, but now I had a problem: what now?

I should probably go check on Dash I thought. We didn't need her drunk off her ass and flying the ship. That's when something else made up my mind.

"Security personnel to the Data Core." An automated voice said from the station's address system.

Dammit, what now?
I started running toward the Data Core. On the way, I saw a few defense drones rolling their way there, but I arrived first.

"Put me down, you damn space witch!" An angry voice said. I rounded the corner to see Twilight staring at something on the ceiling.

"You know, your lack of respect for others is just...disturbing." she said. I followed her gaze to see a man floating about 15 feet off the ground, wrapped in Sparks' trademark purple aura.

"I see you're having fun." I said as I approached her. She turned toward me.

"I was until this moron showed up."

"Twilight, please put the nice man down." I said.

"He isn't a nice man." Spike said, "He was making fun of us."

"Twilight..." I said again, a little more firmly
She sighed and snapped her finger, sending the man falling to the ground. That's when security decided to show up: comprised of two humans, a mantis and two battle drones.

"What's going on here?" One of the humans asked. The man peeled himself off the floor, his eyes burning with anger.

"That bitch attacked me." the angry man shouted.

"Really? How did she do that?" I asked, "She didn't touch you, and she isn't armed."

"She used some weird powers." He said, "She's like a witch or something."
I heard one of the human guards stifle a laugh.

"Seriously? A witch?" I said, hoping I was making him look like an idiot. I think it was working.

"Zeta 1-4, do we have a protocol for 'Space Witch'?" The human guard asked, trying to suppress a smile.

"Checking protocols." The drone...well...droned. He then made a pinging noise and replied, "Negative."

"That's what I thought." he said before turning back to us, "Look, I don't know what happened, but we can't PROVE you did anything."

"So, can we go?" I asked.

"Yes, but if you're in any other trouble, we will run you in for both of these offenses."

"Understood." Twilight said.

"Wait, your just going to let this bitch go?!" The man raged.
I turned back toward him.

"Go ahead, call her that again." I growled, "I dare you."
I watched his hand go for his belt. He then whipped out a pistol, aimed at Twilight. I pushed her out of the way as the man fired, letting the slug fly by harmlessly. I reacted from instinct: I reached to my hip and drew my own gun and fired a shot that blasted the pistol from his hand. I looked to the security units.

"He shot first. You saw." I said.

"I think it would be best if the three of you left." the Mantis hissed.

Twilight, Spike and I all left without a word. After we got out of earshot of the security, I couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"What are you smiling about?" Twilight asked.

"I can't take you anywhere, can I?" I said, still smiling like an idiot I love giving her a hard time.

"Oh shut up." She replied.

"So, did you give him the 'Flay you alive with my mind' shtick again?" I asked, "I really like that one"
She just stared at me.
smack

"Ow! Hey, no fair." I whined as I rubbed the sore spot on my head, "You can't hit me with MY sword."

"Oh, you mean like this?" she asked as the sword handle much more gently smacked me in the side of the head.

"Stop it."

"You didn't say plee-eease." she replied with a playful smile.

"Please?"

"Hmmm, smack, no." She said with a giggle.

Why are you so cute when you do this stuff?

"Sir, I hate to disturb you, but there's a little situation here." Victor said, interrupting Twilight and I.

"What's going on?" I asked, "Someone trying to steal you again?"

"That's possible." he replied, "Someone's trying to get in without permission."
I just sighed.

"On our way." I said, "Try to get Dash and Pinkie's attention."
I looked back at Twilight.

"Hey, I didn't do this one." she said defensively.

"How about we go with this, " I said as we all started back toward the Requiem's docking bay, "Spike did it."

"HEY!"

Rewards and Revenge: Part Two

View Online

"Hi friends!" Pinkie squealed when she saw us.

"Oh, hey Pinkie." I said, "Find anything tasty?"

"Oh yeah, tons of stuff." She replied happily, "Is it ok that I used some of our credits?"

"They're our credits for a reason, Pinkie." Twilight said, "Of course you can use them."
Pinkie had the biggest smile on her face and she was glowing like a star.
Squee

"YAY! You guys are going to love this, I promise."

What the hell was that sound? I thought as I looked around.

"Well, C'mon, let's go see what's wrong with Victor." I said as we all continued. We weren't far from the loading bay that connected the ship's cargo bay to the station. As we entered the bay, I could see a group of workers crowding around the locked down entrance to the ship. They appeared to be a mix of Rockman and humans, all pissed off that the ship wouldn't let them in.

"What's going on here?" I asked.

"Are you Captain Cormorant?" A human in the fanciest suit asked.

"Yes, I am." I replied, "Why are you trying to get into my ship?"

"We were told to deliver this to you, as payment for liberating Outpost X32."
Behind the foreman I saw a jet-black vehicle parked nearby.

"Is that a Razorblade 6X6?" A voice asked. I turned my head to see Dash joining us. She only looked a little tipsy, thank god.

"A what?" I asked. I knew about some vehicles, but this wasn't one of them. It looked like an old fan boat that had six big knobby tires mounted to the sides. What really got my attention was the turret: mounted on the rear was a semi enclosed ball, containing a Thresher Maw rotary cannon. The shots may not be powerful, but at 6,000 of them a minute, it makes up for it..

"A Razorblade 6X6. It's an all-terrain ground transport." Dash said. She looked like she was deconstructing it in her head.

"I'm listening." I said.

"400 horsepower engine, inch thick chobham nanosteel armor, all wheel drive adaptive traction and even an aquatic drive system." Dash listed off, "If you can't fly there, this thing can get you there."

"So, it's awesome?" I asked. Again, not a motor-head.

"Yes, very awesome." she replied.

"If you two are done," The foreman interjected, "I have other things to do besides argue with your ship."

"Oh right, sorry." I said before turning to the ship,

"Authorization?" Victor asked. This was the only time he didn't sound happy, his voice replaced by one more akin to Grimlock's. A small mechanical eye extended from the door, then looked around to find anyone it knew. It soon focused on me.

"Oh. Hi Boss," the frigate said happily as the cargo door opened, "Sorry about that guys, I don't want to have to shoot you out an airlock."

"Again." Spike said.

After the crew loaded the ship with the Razorblade and took the missiles in exchange for the crates of ammo, we'd gotten back underway. I was hanging out with Twilight in the shield core.

"So Dash, how do you know so much about vehicles?" Twilight asked through the video system.

"When you fly ships for a living, you gotta have an interest in anything with an engine." She replied.

"I can't believe they gave us an armored car worth two and a half million credits." I said, "But how exactly are we going to use it?"

"Oh that's easy" Dash said, "It was built to be carried under a shuttle, even airdropped. It's suspension and jump jets let it land like a butterfly."

"So it really is a go anywhere carrier."

"It looks like a boat." Spike said, "Does it float?"

"The only thing it can't do is fly." She said.
We all listened as Dash regaled us with the specifications of the Razorblade. Well, we pretended to listen: Twilight went back to the book she was reading. I just brought up a hologram for one of my inventions: this one a giant suit of power armor. I was working on the arm mounted weapons when Twilight perked up.

"What are you building now, Clay?" she asked.

"Power armor." I said, "Or at least a really expensive trash can."

"You know, sometimes I really wonder if you're part Nomad: you always have an idea for something."

"One-eighth on my mothers side." I said without even looking up, "That's why I don't need the suit."

"Wait, really?"

"No, it's just fun to mess with you." I said, smiling.

"I hate you sometimes." she replied flatly.

"You know, you're cute when you're angry at me."

Fuck, did I just say that out loud?
She just rolled her eyes and sighed.

"As much fun as it is to watch you two fighting, I just picked up a distress call." Victor chirped happily, "It looks like an escape pod but I've never seen this kind of signal."

"From where?" I asked.

"That planet."
Twilight and I look out the window and saw the planet he was talking about. It looked like a giant desert but contrasted by deep blue patches.

"We're going, aren't we?" Twilight asked, knowing fill well the answer.

"Dash, looks like we get to test out that Razorblade." I said as Twi and I headed for the cargo bay. Once the lift door opened in the lower level, I saw Dash using Requiem's cargo gantry to move the shuttle over the transport.

"So this thing isn't going to fall off half-way down, right?" I asked. Dash shook her head.

"Nope, it comes with powerful magnetic clamps that hold it on." she said.

"Do you know how to drive this thing?" Twilight asked.

"Of course I do." Dash replied.

"Dibs on the turret." I said quickly.

"Of course you'd want the gun." Twilight said.


"Brace yourselves!" Dash said as we neared the planet's surface. The shuttle Victor was controlling had dropped us and we were in a freefall to the sandy ground.

"How bad is this going to hurt?" I asked.

"You ever dropped to the ground from space?"

"I'm a weapons tech, not a damn ODST."

"Oh, then this should be fine."
I felt the vehicle lurch as the jump jets kicked on.

"Question: How will you two not die on impact?"

"The jump jets and suspension absorb the impact." Dash replied.
And then the Transport proved it by slamming into the ground. It bounced a few times before settling.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." I said as I tried to hold down my stomach.

"Hey, I'm the one that has to clean that." Spike snapped over the radio, "Don't you dare."

"I see the radio works." Dash said, "Where are we going?"

"Forwarding now." Spike said. The nav system updated and Dash made tracks for the location.

"It's a little cramped in here." I said as I adjust to let my spine relax. I saw Dash hit a few switches.

"Hold on." She said as my seat shifted. It slid to the back of the vehicle, then began to lift as the roof opened. I was lifted out of the vehicle into the clear polymer bubble where the cannon was.

"That enough room for ya?" She asked. I watched the desert landscape fly by at about seventy miles an hour.

"Best seat in the house." I said as I stretched out, causing a few pops from my back. Dash chuckled.

"Estimated time to target: Fifteen minutes." Grimlock said.

"Thanks Grim, I was about to ask that." I said, "Hey Spike, anything new about that signal?"

"Not really." the Engi said, "Victor already said everything we know: it's and escape pod distress signal.."

"Yep, definitely an escape pod, but it's in a language I've never heard before." The A.I. said, "Some of the words don't even sound like they have vowels in them, and the ones that do have, like, sixteen of the same letter."

"Okay. That's a little weird." I replied. I was no language specialist, but I'd noticed that, aside from a few specialty words, languages usually lined up pretty closely.

"I'll have the shields and Stealth drive ready to go." Twilight said, "This smells like Antioch."

"Antioch?" Dash asked, "Who's Antioch?"

"Remember when I said I'd messed with a Rebel cruiser?" I said, "Well, that ship was the Hammer of Nightmares commanded by Captain Benjamin Antioch."

"And he is hell-bent on catching us for it." Twilight said, "And he isn't above faking a distress signal to do it."

"So we might be driving into a trap?" Dash asked with a sigh, "Good to know it wasn't gonna be easy."

"Hey, It might not be him." I said, "maybe it's actually a distress beacon this time."

"How many times has it not been a beacon?" Dash asked tentatively.

"Eleven." Spike said, "Although that's not counting..."

"Hey look, we're here." I interjected. The nav point corresponded to the large pod lodged in the side of a rocky outcropping. I looked over the mountain to see a cave in the side.

"Dash, you stay here and keep this thing ready, Grimlock and I'll check out the cave."

"Ok, I'll have us ready for a quick getaway...again."
Grimlock and I both left the vehicle and headed for the cave.

"Son of a bitch it's hot out here." I groaned as we neared the cave.

"Explanation: We are in a desert." Grimlock droned.

"Good point." We entered the cave, where the temperature dropped a good twenty degrees. Grimlock clicked his spotlight on and lead the way inside, while I pulled my Shotgun off my back.

"So, what do you think we'll find?" I asked the drone.

"Sarcastically: A hungry sand shark." he said. Humor was not his strong suit.

We continued down the cavern until we heard something. Grimlock turned out the light and we listened to what sounded like a female voice.

"Oh don't worry Angel, I'm sure someone will find us." She said gently. An odd chirping noise answered her. I nodded to Grimlock who rolled out from behind the barrier with me behind him. We turned the corner to see an odd sight: A small fire was burning in the center of the cave, but really caught our attention was the one sitting by it.

"Mantis!" I shouted as I raised my weapon. Grimlock brought his cannons to bear as the Mantis looked toward us. It then threw it's arms up and shrunk away from us.

"Please don't hurt me!" she squealed. This reaction stopped both of us dead in our tracks. Was she, scared?

"Please, I'm lost and stranded." she said again, "I just want to get out of here."
Grim and I both looked at each other in confusion.

"Behavior is highly inconsistent." He said. I agreed with him this was a very weird Mantis. Her normally bright green skin (exoskeleton?) was more yellow than normal, and her long, limp antennae were a soft pink. The large eyes were a bright blue instead of red and she appeared to have shorter scythes on her arms.

"Wait, you don't want to slice us into lunchmeat?" I asked. She relaxed as she lowered her arms a bit.

"Oh goodness no, why would I want to do that?" she said in a soft voice. Usually it was shrill, but this was actually pleasant.

"You are a Mantis." Grimlock said, "Mantis are characterized by insatiable bloodlust."

"I know." she said, looking to the ground in guilt, "I'm not very good at...being a mantis."
I decided to save my questions for later.

"Well, we picked up that distress signal." I said, "I suppose that was yours?"

"Oh yes, that was me." she said and she put her arms the rest of the way down, "I crashed here a few days ago."

"Hey, uh, Clay you might want to hurry up." Dash said over my communicator, "Victor said something's coming."

"Got it." I replied before turning back to the Mantis, "We need to go so if your coming, follow us."
She nodded in understanding and looked around the floor.

"Angel, come here honey. It's time to go." She said sweetly. From behind a rock emerged a small, snow white rabbit that obediently hopped up on her back. We hurried out of the cave into the blistering sun, where Dash had turned the transport around and opened the back loading door. I vaulted up on top of the vehicle and sat back down in the gun, while Grimlock and the Mantis climbed in the back.

"Ok Dash, punch it." I ordered.

"Why is there a Mantis in here?" She asked as the vehicle took off.

"She sent out the signal." I said, "What did Victor say?"

"He said something was making it's way toward them at FTL speeds." She said, "He can't tell what it is, since it's moving so fast, but it can't be good."

"Grimlock, call for the shuttle to pick us up." I said, prompting an affirmative from the drone. I looked up to see the shuttle in question on it's way.

"Wow, that was fast." I said.

"I have not called for it yet." Grimlock said. I looked closer to see that it wasn't the shuttle we were hoping for. I also saw a red bolt of plasma fly off of the front of it.

"Shit! Incoming!" I shouted. Dash jerked the armored car over just as the bolt smashed into the ground. I grabbed the gun controls and moved it over to face the craft. I pressed the first trigger to let the barrels spin to speed.

"Grimlock, get that shuttle down here now!" I shouted as I pressed the second trigger. The weapon roared to life as a stream of slugs flew toward the ship, making it weave out of the way.

"Shuttle on approach." Grimlock said. Victor better hurry the hell up, I didn't know how long I could shoot at that thing before It got lucky. A few more shots from it's main gun pounded the ground around us as I fired back bursts from ours.

"I got it." I heard Spike say over the radio. Then I saw a red beam blast down from the sky, engulfing the small fighter.

"Did I get him?" He asked. I just stared at the now glassed spot where the craft had been.

"Yeah. Yeah you got 'em." I said. I'd never seen our beam cannon up close like this before, so the already healthy respect i had for it could only go up. I saw the shuttle match our speed as it descended over us.

"Victor, What's the ETA on that ship in FTL?" I asked as the magnetic locks attached.

"It should be here by the time you return." He said. I felt the vehicle lift up under the shuttles power. Then it blasted off toward the Requiem.

"So..." Dash said as she shut down the Razorblade.

"That was awesome!" I said.

"Uh, Clay I think the Mantis fainted." Dash said. The seat I was in began to descend into the vehicle, then I could see what she was talking about. She was splayed out on the floor like...well...a bug that had been squished. The rabbit was now gently shaking her head, trying to wake his master up.

"Don't look at me." I said, "I just met her." The bug began to stir.

"Is it...Is it over?" she asked softly. I could see Dash was about to start laughing at the gentle creature.

"Don't." I said sharply. I heard the vehicle make a weird hissing sound.

"Relax, we just left the atmosphere." the pilot said, "The Razor automatically pressurizes."

"Ok, so how long is it 'til we get there?"

"Arriving now." Grim said. The shuttle shook as it stopped, then set itself down on the bay floor. A little under a minute later, the door was closed and the cargo bay was re-pressurizing itself.

"Ok, soon as we can, Dash, get to the cockpit and get us ready to jump."

"Right." She replied with a nod.

"And you," I started to say to the mantis, "Just follow Grimlock. He'll lead you somewhere safe until we get clear."

"O-okay." She whispered. The back of the carrier opened and we all piled out and headed for the lift.

"Hey Boss, I got an update on that ship that's on it's way." Victor chirped.

"What's up?" I asked

"It's the Hammer of Nightmares." He said, "I know that comes as a surprise to you."

"Dammit, ETA?"

"Uh, now." Victor said, "And I think Captain Antioch will want to talk to you."
The door opened and we all headed for our stations, Grimlock most likely headed for the med bay; it was the most armored section on the ship. I looked out the window in my bay to see the Ship in question: the Hammer of Nightmares. It was a cobalt blue with black stripes running around the ends of the engines and a pair of them running the length of ship. The figurehead of the ship was the crescent moon symbol with a horned creature in it's shadow. I saw on my screen the alert that someone was trying to contact us.

I brought the message up onscreen, but before the picture of the bridge showed up, something else came up.

Oh my god, he never got it fixed. I thought, desperately trying to contain my laughter. The screen changed to a stone-faced human. Antioch was the opposite of me: very straight-laced and professional, and I bet his uniform was pressed and cleaned hourly.

"Benny; long time, no see." I said happily, "Still got that stick up your ass?"

"Captain Clayton Cormorant." He said, "Funny we should find you here."
I heard the door open and turned to see Twilight walk in.

"Captain Benjamin Antioch." Twilight said, "I see you're still trying to compensate with that ship of yours."

"Wow, even Twilight's taking shots at you." I said, "That's pretty bad."

"I don't particularly care what you or your crew think." He snapped, "You are under arrest for crimes against the Rebellion. Surrender peacefully..."

"...And you will be spared, blah blah blah." I finished for him, "Look, can we just get to the part where we jump out of here and leave you stuck with a dead engine?"
I saw a screen behind the one Antioch was on that showed the status of our FTL charge.

"That won't work this time, Cormorant." He said, "Any attempt to attack us will result in immediate destruction of your ship."
I saw a large weapon deploy from the center of the ship's head. I already knew this was the cannon that fired the Artillery Beam: a powerful beam-type weapon that could cut small ships in half.

"Have I made my point clear, Captain?" The Rebel asked.

"Hey, he's arming the Artillery Beam." Victor said, "Maybe he'll actually hit us this time."

"Do you have a camera in there, Benny?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. I take any reaction I could get out of him as a victory, and I was about to win the whole war.

"And if I do?"

"Then you may want to take a picture." I said. Antioch looked even more confused.

"I'm sorry?" He said, "Why would I want to take a picture of you?"

"So you can remember another day where you almost caught Captain Cormorant." I said, "Dash..."

"Hold onto something." The pilot said. We all felt the ship lurch as the engines kick into high gear. Antioch got a familiar look of anger on his face.

"I'll find you, Cormorant." The Rebel raged, then the transmission cut out.

"You know, the more times he finds us, the more chances he gets to catch us." Twilight said

"I know, but it's so much fun messing with him."
Twilight just sighed and rolled her eyes.


Meanwhile, aboard the Hammer of Nightmare

"Sir, we've lost the signal." A crewmember said as the video feed cut out. Antioch stood stock still as he stared out the window that made up the wall of the cruiser's bridge.

"Ensign Sanders, Report." he commanded.

"Sir, It doesn't look like they've figured it out." The officer said, "Should we pursue?"

"No, Let them run." he said with a smile, "We'll give them a little rope, then hang them with it."

"As you command, Sir."

"Enjoy your freedom for now, Cormorant." He said to himself, "We'll meet again, and you won't be so lucky."

Bugging out

View Online

"So let me get this straight," Twilight said as the two of us walked toward the medical bay, "You found a Mantis that not only didn't try to kill you, but was actually scared of you?"

"I know, right?" I replied, "I think Grimlock nearly blew a transistor trying to process it."

"A shy mantis, and a female at that." The Defense Tech said, "Wait, how do you know it's female?"

"I want to know how we'll keep her from killing everyone." Dash said as she joined us.

"You'll know when you meet her." I said. We'd arrived at the medical wing, the doors opening when we neared them. Inside, we found Grimlock and Pinkie with the Mantis. Pinkie was talking with the creature...well, maybe talking at her would be more accurate, when she was excited no one could understand what she was saying. The mantis sat politely listening though, the rabbit on her back just watching Grimlock warily.

"So, I see you've met our little ball of energy." I said, drawing their attention.

"Sir, Subject shows no signs of hostility." Grimlock said.

"You just saved me, Mr. Grimlock. Why would I ever be mean to you?" She said.
I saw Twilight's jaw drop out of the corner of my eye. I was more impressed by the 'Mr. Grimlock' thing.

"It's our pleasure, Ms..."

"Oh, um, my name isn't really pronounceable in other languages." she said, "But I think it basically means, "Timid Flutters."

"Flutters?" I asked

"I think Humans call them Butterflies." The Mantis explained.

"That doesn't sound like a very scary name." Pinkie said, "I though Mantis were suppose to be scary."

"Um, I'm not very good at being a Mantis." She said, "That's why they banished me."
I grabbed a chair from nearby and took a seat; this story I needed to hear.

"Banished?" I asked, "What got you banished?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She said, "I'm not like the others. I can't just...just..."

"Kill stuff?" I offered, she nodded in agreement.

"Exactly. I just don't see the point: why do that to something who's only crime is living?"

"I know what you mean," Pinkie chirped, "I mean, how can you make friends and have fun if you kill everyone you meet?"

"So what happened?" Spike asked as he found his own seat.

"Well, when a Mantis is about to come of age, they have to pass a test." She said.

"A right of passage kind of thing? Let me guess, you had to kill something."

"Worse." She said, "They wanted me to kill my little Angel."
The rabbit on her back perked up when it heard it's name.

"And I just couldn't do it." she said, hanging her head in shame, "I just couldn't."
A glowing pink hand found it's way to her shoulder.
"That's not a bad thing Fluttershy." Pinkie said, "Lots of people can't do that."

"Wait, what did you call her?" Twilight asked.

"Fluttershy." she repeated, "Her name: that's what it sounds like. Shy means timid and she kinda looks like a butterfly."

"My name?" The Mantis asked, "No one has ever called me that name before."

"What name did they call you?" Pinkie asked

"I'd rather not translate it." She replied, fumbling her claws nervously, "It's not very nice."

"So you have no place to go." I said. She shook her head.

"Well, you're more than welcome to stay here." Twilight said, "What did you do instead of fighting?"
She perked up a bit at this.

"Oh, I learned everything I could about other species." she said, "Language, social structure, even different dialects."

"Inquiry: how many languages do you understand?"

"I know and can speak most of the Mantis dialects, but I understand languages from Zoltan, Rock, a few human dialects, and even a few from the Slug."

"What about the Engi?" Spike asked.

"Well, the language Engi use with each other is mostly electronic." She said nervously, "That and the Mantis aren't the best of friends with the Engi, so we don't have many records on them."

"Mantis aren't really interested in friends at all, are they?"

"No, but we respect races like the Rock for their toughness, and even humans for your resourcefulness." She said, "We don't like the Engi because we see the as cowards."
We all heard Spike snort in offense.

"Oh, but I don't think that." She said quickly, "I actually like the Engi: they're peaceful and kind."

"And it does make sense that a warrior race like the Mantis would think that: Engi are notorious for using drones and relying on other races to fight for them."

"They just don't appreciate how smart and cunning an Engi can be." Twilight said as she tousled the metal frill on his head. I understood Spike being upset: if she'd said she saw the Human race as cowards, I'd be inclined to prove her wrong. And I got the chance.

"I hate to be a bummer gang, But I think someone just teleported onto the ship." Victor said. We heard the door open and in stepped a human and a Zoltan: The Zoltan wielding a submachine gun and the human, a rifle.

"Nobody move!" the human ordered. We all knew we couldn't attack before one of them fired, even Twilight's powers needed time to use. The Zoltan invader looked to the mantis, training his sights on her. I expected her to wilt under the stress of being under the gun, but she surprisingly stood her ground, staring the green construct down. They stood staring for a few seconds before something bizarre happened to the energy being: he relaxed.

What the... I then watched him turn slowly, as though trying to resist the movement, raise his weapon and fire a single shot through the human's arm. Now was my chance. I lashed out and caught the weapon, wrenching it from the wounded human's hand. I tossed the weapon to the nearest crewmember, which was Dash, then my CQB training took over. In one quick move; I grabbed her wrist, swept her legs out from under her and knocked her face first into the floor. I kneeled down on her arm pinning her to the floor.

"Drop it." Dash ordered as she shoved the barrel of her new weapon into the Zoltan's face. He looked around at the crew, baffled by what just happened: his friend was face down on the steel floor, a woman had a rifle in his face and he had no clue how point A turned into Point B. Not knowing what to do, he dropped the weapon and raised his hands.

"What the fuck, dude?" The woman shouted from under my knee, "Why the fuck did you shoot me?"

"I did?" He asked, shaking his head, "When did I do that?"

"He isn't the brightest star in the sector, is he?" I asked.

"Fuck you." She snapped, I leaned into her shoulder, causing a little more pain.

"Sorry, you aren't my type." I said with a smile.

"You two can leave one of two ways." Twilight said, "You can either teleport out of here..."

"Or you can leave via Airlock." I added.

"Oh oh, pick the Airlock." Victor said, "Wasn't that fun last time Grimlock?"

"Affirmative." The drone replied, "Highly entertaining."

"Just let them go." Fluttershy said. I watched the woman reach to her belt with her bad arm, then fade out. The Zoltan followed suit, disappearing quickly to whatever ship had gotten them here.

"Well, that was weird." Pinkie said, then she pulsed brighter, "Wait, Fluttershy's our newest member. You know what that means."
Before any of us could ask what the hell she was talking about, she shot out of the room, phasing clear through the door.

"I have no idea what she's talking about." Dash said. We tended to defer to her when Pinkie said or did something bizarre, since they knew each other the best.

"How did you do that?" I asked the Mantis, "That Zoltan looked like he was in a trance."

"Do what?" She asked, "I didn't do anything."

"Yes you did. He was looking at you, then he turned and shot his friend. That doesn't just happen." I replied.

"I'm sorry, but i don't know what happened." She said, "Honestly, I didn't do anything."

"So you totally didn't just hypnotize him?" Dash asked, "Cuz that's exactly what that looked like."

"I thin I might know what that was." Sparks said, "That looked like a Mantis Stare."

"A Mantis Stare?" Fluttershy asked, "I can do that?"

"What's a Mantis Stare?" I asked. Twilight Sparkle: the living encyclopedia.

"It's a really rare power that Mantis can have." Twilight said, "It gives them the ability to use pheromones to influence other creatures."

"I didn't want him to do that." Fluttershy said, "I just wanted him to go away."

"Well, having him sabotage his friend was one hell of a way to make him leave." I said, "Just try not to do that to one of us."

"Hey guys, Pinkie's losing her mind in the kitchen again." Victor said, "I think she said something about a cake."

"Is she always so...energetic?" Fluttershy asked. We all started heading toward the elevator, ready to face whatever insanity Pinkie was baking.

"No, she's actually pretty calm right now." Dash said, "When she's really wound up, you'll be able to tell."
The Mantis gulped in apprehension.

"Relax, just try not to exhale when she hugs you." I said, "Otherwise, she might crush you."