Cracked up stories

by Twilight-the-Pony

First published

Crack pairings shorts. It'll only get worse.

Crack pairings shorts. It'll only get worse.

Twilight x Ted the Toothbrush

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Twilight woke up early morning by the beautiful sky-blue mare, nudged her gently to see, if she is still sleeping, quietly standing up and swiftly move towards the bathroom in embrace of a secret lover, that waited her silently and patiently sitting in a cup for a long time.

“Hello Ted,” the unicorn spoke softly, lifting it carefully against her lips, “I missed you so much”, as she pushed her lips gently towards her lover, forming a gentle kiss.

“Mmmm,” she moaned. “Your breath is divine,” as Ted gently touched her lips and massaged her teeth. She closed her eyes and let Ted massage her mouth as gently as possible, sending jolts of electricity down the unicorn’s spine every time he slid inside her mouths and touched her tongue. “You’re so good at this,” she breathed.

The unicorn was in heaven, but suddenly her blood froze as familiar voice echoed behind her. “This looks like fun.”

Twilight slowly turned her head towards the unsurprised Rainbow just to see her ask “Mind if I join in?”

Rarity x Gabrielle the Hat

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Gabrielle is handsome and stand-up girl, and is adored in public for wearing exquisite royal colors and beautiful symmetrical little pink bows, that perfectly decorated her sides. But she has a little secret. She was different from other ponies in Equestria.

As matter of fact, she wasn't even a pony. She was a hat. And not just any hat. She was Rarity's hat. The popular Ponyville fashion designer, who could have anypony she could ever desire, chose beautiful Gabrielle instead.

"I love you, Gabrielle!" Rarity breathed to her lover, nuzzling her warm and colorful fabric. "I think I would go insane without you," she continued. "I love you so much!"

But she needed to keep her relationship a deep dark secret since that kind of behaviour was frowned upon in the public. And not just public... She even needed to hide the relationship from her own family and her friends, making sure that her secret wasn’t revealed by her parents or her sister.

But it was worth it. She couldn't afford to lose Gabrielle. Her closest friend. Her lover.

Fluttershy X Candle

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It brought the worst fears and horrors in the mind of the shiest pony in Ponyville, Fluttershy. Countless of times it had brought her to the point she would hide in bed, whimper in the dimly-lit corner of the house or scream out loud just to get away from the horrors that were hiding very deep inside of the darkness of the night.

She was certain that Nightmare Moon has come for her as the stories have told her when she was still a little filly.

Sharp claws of those stories cut deeply into the young mind of the shy pony and had no intent of letting go.

In the darkness of the night every creak of the wood would become step of a hideous monster, every rustle of the leaves outside would turn into ominous chant, every cry of the wind outside of her cottage would turn into the howl of thousands timber wolves.

But not anymore. Her fears have disappeared, her own shadow didn’t frighten her anymore. She had defeated most of her fears of darkness. At least in her own cottage.

But not without help.

Not without him.

He was a shimmer of light in her life as he fought for her and ripped her from the clutches of the shadows and wrapped her in the soft light. He was her companion in the darkness of the night and she relied on him more than she could rely on anypony else.

Fluttershy carefully leaned towards him trying to kiss her bringer of light, but she knew, that she must not go any further.

“Thank you.” the lightly blushing pony whispered as she wrapped her body around the bright and warm light, closing her eyes and slowly drifting away to dreamland.

There was no response. It just seemed that the pegasus got wrapped in brighter and softer light along with the rest of the room as it would want to say “I love you, Fluttershy.”

A soft smile crept onto the pegasus' mouth, silently forming “I love you too.”

Rarity x Rusty iron forks

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Soft hoof taps were echoing throughout the corridors of the famous Carousel Boutique, following the frantic trotting of the Ponyvile fashion designer Rarity, as she managed to get through the final inspection of her latest fashion line.

“No, no no, no, no, no, nooo.” stated the overworked unicorn.

“It has to be perfect!” she grunted, cringing over small imperfections she noticed in her clothings.

She hung her head as her magic lit her horn and the offending thread got ripped from the base of the skirt she was working on. “I will need to redo this from scratch,” she sighed.

Moments later, the designed collapsed in the middle of her work room with a loud ‘THUD!’ in front of her mannequins from sheer exhaustion.

“So tired,” rarity muttered and dozed off to sleep.


“Hey, sis!” cheerfully greeted Sweetie Belle. “You slept on the floor?”

Rarity grunted, slowly opening her eyes. “I had to work, Sweetie. And I was tired.” She slowly turned her head towards her sister. “How can I help you?”

“Look what we found!” Sweetie chirped as she floated a beautifully crafted, but quite rusty and dirty old iron fork in front of her sister.

Rarity’s eyes went wide as she blushed in a hue of red as she looked at the floating object and jumped up.

“V-Veronica? I haven’t seen you in years...” spoke Rarity with joyful tears in her eyes “Not since the... accident...” she added.

“You’re so dirty... You always did that just to annoy me, didn’t you?” she spoke softly as she trotted happily from her work room.

She lovingly nuzzled the object, continuing to speak softly “Now let’s get you all cleaned up and let’s see, if there’s something that can be done with the rust,” she continued “And then the lunch I’ve promised you so long ago...”

Rarity’s voice now turned into soft mutter in Sweetie Belle’s ears now with little filly still standing perplexed in the middle of her sister’s work room and trying to figure out what’s going on...