it's self-insert fanfiction fanfiction by a self-insert fanfiction author! Oh, the meta!
Because sometimes people want to not spend a week writing something, and they see what they can do in 45 minutes (and not a minute more)
Because sometimes people find the idea of writing self-insert fan fiction hilarious, and sometimes Dash is adorable. Because sometimes, we just don't know how to stop ourselves.
Note: While this is currently rated Teen for "Not Yet", it almost certainly won't stay that way. Warning: Will contain mary-suism even harder than my usual bullshit.
Addendum: In case it wasn't already painfully obvious, I have no goddamn idea what I'm doing oh god why did I deviate from my plan this was the worst idea ever
Daring Do and Rainbow Dash and The Trials of Temptation ======================================================= By Rainbow Dash ---------------
Rainbow Dash looked around. The thick cloud walls of her flying abode surrounded her, and the silence confirmed her loneliness. She's told each of her friends she had plans with a different friend, giving her the perfect alibi - nobody would suspect.
Acting quickly, she pulled a pad of paper and a quill from below her cloud-wrought desk, and set them down. Her secret writing desk's construction was completed. Nobody would know - the quill was Twilight's, and Dash had helped her search for it for hours. Little was Twilight to know that it was safely tucked under Dash's wing, where nopony would think to peek. The ink was Pinkie's, and she hadn't yet noticed its disappearance - Dash was unsure if Pinkie was entirely literate. She felt no remorse in repossessing her ink pot.
The papers were taken from the local branch of the post office, as Dash knew the local postmare would just write it off as wind damage or something equally untracable. Rainbow Dash truly was the master of subtlety, she told herself, as she grinned and sat down, pulling out her annotated copy of this years' Daring Do annual. The scribbled notes covered everything from possible plot holes, to lewd descriptions of Daring Do's plot hole. Rainbow Dash had become a big fan.
The last few pages of the annual were dedicated to providing an area for planning your very own Daring Do fan fiction, something Dash hadn't even considered was possible until she'd seen the guides and instructions. Since then, however, she'd spent almost all of her spare time planning and writing notes, pretending to sleep face down on a cloud so she could carefully scribble with her mouth unseen by the general population. Nopony must know her secret. Not until it's ready.
Staring over at this month's picture in her Daring Do calendar, Dash sighed as she imagined just how good it would be to adventure alongside, fighting evil and reclaiming lost treasures. She ignored the heat from her loins, and the blushing on her face - those were plot elements she didn't feel comfortable writing about. Shaking herself to clear her mind, Dash turned back to the pad of paper, and picked up the quill in her mouth. Dipping it into the ink, she began to write, trying her best to narrate out loud as she did it.
"Daring Do, and Rainbow Dash, and The Trials of Temptation", she penned in a messy but legible cursive. She'd spent days trying to figure out the best title for her masterpiece - it had to be descriptive of the adventure, but not give too much away. It had to sound cool, but not like it was trying too hard. She thought she'd done pretty well. She added, on the line below in smaller letters, "By Speedy Chromatic". Her pseudonym was Twilight's invention, though the purple librarian was clueless as to why Dash wanted one. When Dash's work was in every library in Equestria, nobody would know it was hers, and that was exactly how she wanted it - reading was awesome, and for the coolest of cool ponies, but writing? Only nerds and eggheads enjoyed writing. Nevertheless, the simple act of putting the title down on paper filled Dash with anticipation and a vague longing.
Steeling herself against the turmoil of emotion inside of her, Dash leant down and rested her nose inches above the paper, ready to start writing at a moment's notice. Then she began.
"That was amazing, Dash" shouted Daring Do as the two adventurous companions swung through the air on twin vines, the volcano behind them raging and belching smoke and fire as the ancient temple of magnificent doom collapsed, its mystical treasures kept safe in the hooves of the most adventurous adventurers in Equestria!
"Wait, adventurous adventurers? Man, that sounds awesome, I'm the best writer!" squealed Dash to herself after rereading her sentence. She was going to enjoy this.
"Hey, you weren't too shabby yourself, 'do! I don't think even I, Rainbow Dash, could have rode the updrafts from that lava so quickly!" the blue Pegasus replied, bracing herself to jump from the vine and land running, the boiling heat lapping against her legs reminding herself of the lava lake just feet beneath them. Suddenly, Daring Do's vine snapped, the shock of it sending the green rope coiling around her, restricting her wings and sending her dropping quickly to the deadly liquid below. Her life flashed before her eyes, but not as quickly as Rainbow Dash flew across to catch her in a flash. The magical treasures of the temple of doom weren't worth as much as her companion's life, Dash admitted to herself, as she heard her dropped item splash into the seething fires below.
"Dash, my statue! Only you can save it!" shouted Daring Do as Dash, carrying her, swung down and caught the one remaining golden treasure in her mouth, skimming the surface of the lava lake as she struggled to pull up. Being the expert, dazzlingly beautiful flier she was, though, Rainbow Dash managed the almost-impossible stunt and managed to fly the two to safety carrying the single statue.
"Thank Celestia you managed to save it, Rainbow Dash! The curator of the National Equestrian Museum of Ancient History would've been heartbroken were we to lose both of them!" Do gushed as the two slowly walked through the thick forest, the sun setting behind them as the smoke from the now-destroyed temple marred the horizon. "Once we're out of the jungle we'll have a clear flight path back to Canterlot where we can put this in its rightful place, center stage in the new exhibition! Maybe then we can finally have a rest - fancy renting a hotel?"
"Do!", Dash protested, her wings flaring out and her cheeks flushing red. "You know I'm always up for that!" she said after a few seconds, shattering the manufactured tension and causing the evening air to fill with the sound of two mares laughing.
Reaching the edge of the forest, the two constructed a makeshift camp out of some tree branches and a fishing rod, and sat down by the fireplace. It was going to be a long flight tomorrow, and they needed their rest. Many hours later, as their fire burnt out, the two ponies lay in a loose embrace, covering each other with a wing to stave off the bitter chill of the night air, and huddling close for companionship. Daring Do mumbled quietly in her sleep, and if you listened closely, you could just about make her her words: "Rainbow Dash? Rainbow Dash, are you up there? Oh, Fluttershy, would you be a dear and go have a look?"
Dash gasped as she broke free of her fantasy world and heard the disturbance for what it was - Rarity and Fluttershy come to visit. "Oh, Celestia", she whispered to herself, coughing out the now saliva-soaked quill and rushing about to put her things away. The dictionary found a new home on her bedside table, the thesaurus was quickly thrown through what Dash hoped was an internal wall, and her prized artwork was carefully slipped between the sheets of her bed. It was like she'd never been writing at all, she hoped, as Fluttershy fluttered up to her window and peered in.
"Oh, hey Fluttershy, what's up?" she asked, with an innocent smile and a crossed tail - please don't let her have missed anything.
"Oh, we just wanted to check on you and see if you were alright! You said you were doing something with Rarity, but I saw Rarity and you weren't there so I got worried" she sheepishly admitted, "Oh, um, I hope you don't mind me asking, but what ARE you doing?"
Dash did mind her asking, but she knew if she said so, it would just make her friends more suspicious. "Oh, I just... I just had paperwork to catch up on! You know what weather work is like, y'know? Heh, anyway, really gotta get on with stuff, but thanks for dropping by!" Dash nervously chattered, reaching out of the window and giving Fluttershy a light shove, hinting she should go elsewhere.
"Oh, okay, I was just worried is all. That explains the ink on your nose, too! Don't let Pinkie see that or she'll laugh for days! Bye now, Dash" Fluttershy said, giggling a little as she saw Dash's reaction to her appearance, before flying down to meet back up with Rarity, where they held a short conversation Dash couldn't pick up on, before leaving. Thank Celestia for that, Dash whispered quietly to herself.
At least, she muttered, she'd managed to finish chapter 1 before time ran out.
Daring Do and Rainbow Dash and the Trials Of Temptation ======================================================= Chapter Two -----------
The sky was bright blue, the sun was low in the sky, and there was barely a cloud to be seen. It was, by all accounts, a perfect sunrise - the sort only ever really talked about in stories and tales, never seen by mortal eyes.
Rainbow Dash's mood was sour. The sky said "perfect morning", but the weather schedules said "Gray and drizzly", and, wouldn't you know, she had a shift that morning. Carrying clouds half a dozen at a time from the weather office, Dash began her long, hard work, covering the sky with a layer of thick, white clouding, stretching as far as the eye could see. Dash was not happy.
Approximately 15 minutes and a few dozen clouds later, Dash landed on her small cloud island. Work was hard, just a little break would do her good, then she could get back to work refreshed. Can't work tired, don't want to accidentally cause another storm. That's how she justified it to herself, anyway, in reality her legs ached a little from the carrying, and her wings were still kinda stiff from a bad night's sleep. Screw the work, rest is more important.
So Dash landed, face down, on the cloud marked with a little X. Her cloud - it was almost indistinguishable from the others, but this one was hers. Hers to sleep on, hers to hug, hers to let soak up the tears of a particularly lonely night, but most importantly right now, hers to hide things in. Things like her notebook and quill.
Rainbow Dash wasn't addicted to writing, she could stop any time she wanted - she just didn't want to stop. She had ideas flowing through her body, and storylines flowing through her mind. Rainbow Dash was feeling very much like an author.
Letting the blue skies above and the green fields below melt away, Dash delved back into her fantasy land, dipping her quill into the secret ink, and penning "Chapter 2" in her very best almost-legible scrawl.
The daring duo awoke the following morning, the dangers of the forest too afraid to challenge them even while sleeping. The fire had long since burnt out, and the fishing rod lay spent and useless - they left it where it stood. They couldn't spare the weight anyway, it was a long journey back to Canterlot, and it would leave even the two athletic, adventurous ponies tired and in need of rest.
The sun was peeking over the horizon as the two took to the air, beating their mighty wings in unison and easily matching pace, tearing through the sky at speeds most Pegasi could barely dream of. They were not most Pegasi. They were amazing, and adventurous, and nothing could keep them down.
Rainbow Dash paused - none of the actual books had been so lathered with praise for either Do or her companion for the adventure. On the other hoof, her companion had never been as straight up awesome as herself. That explained that, then, she thought, and continued.
The flight was long and grueling, and several times one of the two almost gave in and stopped for a rest, but the other's continued diligence spurred them on, keeping pace and leaving the ground beneath them a blur. Daring Do's impeccable sense of direction kept them on track, until eventually they spotted Canterlot rising up over the horizon, the now setting sun silhouetting it and creating a beautiful, picturesque scene that would be perfect to focus on were this tale ever illustrated, or turned into a picture book for little foals or something else it was deserving of.
Dash looked up again - pictures were a good idea. She should look in to whether she could get pictures drawn before it was published, or whether she was going to have to learn how to draw herself. She was certain she'd be spectacular at it, as she was with everything else of worth, but it sounded like a lot of effort. Dash stifled a yawn - thinking about hard things too much always made her feel sleepy. She slumped forward as her eyes fluttered closed, covering her blessed manuscript with her body as she fell into a light slumber.
"Raaaaaaaain-bowwwww? Raaaain bow? Rainbow!" heard Dash sweeping in on the breeze, shaking her awake. Cloud Kicker, one of the other members of the weather team working that morning, was calling for her. Stuffing the glorious papers back into her cloud, Dash turned around and greeted the irritable mare.
"Rainbow, were you sleeping? Again?"
"I was power resting! I can't work tired!"
"You haven't worked at all, you covered half a field. Miles away from Ponyville. And then slept on it while you drifted into my patch."
Rainbow Dash considered the possibility that she had fallen asleep on the job. She really aught to stop taking morning shifts - one of the advantages of having a high up position in the weather patrol was being able to veto your schedules. One of the disadvantages of being stricken with lazyitus is that vetoing your schedules takes effort.
"I... was... uh." Dash stammered, "I was just testing ya! Seeing how you'd react! You passed the test, well done! I'll just be going now!"
Dash paused - her cloudscape had been surrounded by Cloud Kicker's own cloud sculpting, leaving it trapped. "Hey, you couldn't let my clouds free could you?"
"You want me to undo hours of work so you can drag this set of clouds 5 minutes to your area rather than dragging a different set of clouds 5 minutes to your area?"
"Uh... yes"
"No."
This worried Rainbow Dash. Her incredible works were stuck in a cloud in the middle of Ponyville, and she had no way of rescuing them without risking being uncovered before the time was right. No matter, she would simply have to come back later to retrieve her things, and nopony would be any the wiser.
Quite some time later, after several power-naps and mega-breaks, Dash finished her work for the day, and found herself scanning the cloudscape for her trusty storage cloud. Even with her sharp eyes, finding a particularly shaped cloud in a plane made of clouds was problematic. What the hay had she been thinking using a cloud for storage?
Dash twisted and turned looking for the telltale X, swooping through the cloud layer more and more frantically until finally, she saw it, a corner of her paper sticking out of the side and alerting her to its presence, as if fate itself was guiding her hoof.
Diving at it and meeting it in a hug, Dash kissed the top of her little cloud and pulled at it until it broke free. The ideas coursing through her veins needed release, and quickly. She feverishly tore open the cloud and took the quill into her mouth, beginning to write once more.
"Fan-tastic, girls! With this, we can finally understand why the ancient tribes died out! History owes both of you a great debt!" exclaimed the shouty professor as he accepted the statuette, marvelling at how it sparkled in the air and reflected the light. "However, much as it pains me to ask, we need your help once more, on the most urgent of matters! A group of adventurers recently discovered the location of the previously lost Temple of Hedonics. They managed to send smoke signals a week ago, but we haven't heard from them since. Worse, their message spoke of a terrible oncoming storm which threatened to destroy the temple in just over a week!"
Dash and Do looked at each other - they knew where this was going. It was going to be dangerous, dirty, and life-threatening. They both grinned at same time - it was their kind of work.
"Girls, nobody else can get there fast enough to take the Trials of Temptation and recover the one true treasure, said to be able to control the hearts of even the strongest stallion! You must go quickly, there's no time to lose!"
Moments later, their packs refilled with food, water, and essential supplies, the duo took to the air, their aching wings drowned out by the thought of new adventure and fame. The wind whistled around them, and if you listened hard enough, you could make out words on the breeze: "Rainbow Dash, what are you doing up there? It's been hours!"
The purple gales shook their manes and rippled through their tails as they flew, straddling the speed of sound and leaving a trail of dark smoke and rainbows. The sweet, literate voice of the air surrounded them as it continued its questioning - what in the wide world of Equestria could take so long up in the clouds?
Dash paused. Wind didn't have a colour, certainly not purple. Wind certainly didn't smell like lavender, and much as she loved flying, the wind had never made her feel warm and fuzzy inside just from hearing it whistle through her ears. She looked up - the sun had passed along the sky, her hours of writing leaving her in that time between day and night. Twilight.
Oh Celestia, Twilight was shouting at her. "Er, nothing, Twi, just... Maintenance!"
"Oh, how fascinating, I've always wondered how you kept the clouds working! Could I take a look? I promise I won't be too distracting!" she yelled up, her horn aglow as her magic spell threw her voice up into the clouds.
"Uh, no, sorry Twi, trade secret!" Dash lied. Twilight could read all about it in a book if she wanted, but pulling this cloud apart would reveal far too many secrets she wasn't willing to share.
"Oh... kay, well, see you around, Dash! Good luck with your stuff!" Twilight yelled back, barely hiding the suspicion from her voice. Dash waited until Twilight was surely gone, and sighed in relief, putting her pen back onto her writing surface and continuing.
"Wow, Dash, this temple is amazing!" Do shouted over the strong winds of the incoming storm, their faces lit only by the occasional nearby strike of lightning. The temple lay before them, huge struts of stone holding up a massive engraved building, each illustration probably showing some completely unknown part of ancient culture. And a great storm rolling in from a kingdom with more lax weather laws was poised to wipe it off of the map. Do's face hardened - archaeology was her passion, and seeing so much potential work destroyed only made her want to save what she could. The great treasure of this ancient culture was the goal - the legends spoke of trials designed to test the resolve of the team attempting to take the treasure for themselves. Only the purest of hearts would be allowed.
Acting quickly, the two ran inside the temple, down into the unlit depths of the sanctuary. Taking one step too many, the two heard a grinding sound as the step beneath them slid downwards under their weight, triggering a trap! Great stone doors slammed shut on either side of them, trapping them!
Do cleared her throat and began to talk. "Ah-ha, Dash, gotcha! I knew you were up to something! Gimme a look!"
The dark room, and distant sounds of a raging storm, were ripped from Dash's mind as Twilight pulled the notepad from her hooves in an unstoppable red glow. The colour ran out of Dash's face.
"Twilight! I can explain! It's not what it looks like!"
Daring Do and Rainbow Dash and the Trials of Temptation ======================================================= Chapter 3 ---------
The cloudscape was silent, the vast plane of white seemingly devoid of features to anything but a weather pony, save for the two equines resting on a cloud somewhere above Ponyville town centre.
The bluer of the two was pacing back and forth, her wings reflexively standing at attention as her body screamed at her to get out of there, her natural desire to fly away from danger only kept in check by years of self-training. She was in trouble, she knew - in her fantasy world, it was only a matter of time until the great storm tore both her and Daring Do away to their doom, and in the real world, it was only a matter of time until Twilight Sparkle finished reading her piece. Before any editing work, even.
The purpler pony sat there in rapt silence, slowly reading line after line. The manuscript was illegible, and that was if she was feeling generous. Mere apparent illiteracy had not been enough to stop Dash from writing it, and it would not be enough to stop Twilight reading it - among her vast knowledge of spells and enchantments lay the Sight spell, granting insight into seemingly impenetrable situations. The paper in front of her certainly was impenetrable, but before long the scribbles and squiggles were rearranging themselves into the forms and shapes Dash had meant them to take. Then she read.
Twilight wasn't sure what to think - on the one hoof, Dash was an appalling author, her characterisation of Daring Do was weak at best, and the self-insert companion was generally reserved for the most shameless of works, but on the other she seemed genuinely interested in it, and her core idea wasn't all that bad.
Rainbow Dash was growing more excited by the minute as she kept glancing over at the engrossed librarian, watching the way her mane shifted slightly as she moved her head down to read another line, or the way the slight smile remained on her face as she turned the page. Twilight was sure to like it, it was expertly written. Maybe it could even be the thing that finally broke the ice between them - Dash had tried to get her feelings across many times, from skywriting to leaving flowers, but something always intervened, whether it be that making words out of clouds is in violation of many weather codes, or that abandoned flowers don't last long in a town of hungry ponies. Always, something in the way.
Twilight continued her reading, applying more spells to try and extract the image inside Dash's head, not her inexpert retelling of it. While Dash's constant misuse of words and illogical phrasing would have ruined the tale, without them the story was quite acceptable, especially within the realm of fan fiction, something Twilight was ashamed to say she had quite some experience in. Her own notebook was a closely guarded secret, kept away from even Spike, and enchanted to burst into flames should anypony but her attempt to open it.
Twilight turned the page and the smile fell from her face - she hated cliffhangers. Dash hadn't finished, she was nowhere near.
"So what'd ya think, huh?" Dash asked with a grin, confident in her own abilities.
"Well, you're certainly very enthusiastic, Dash. The story is fun, but your writing is... I'd be very happy to edit it when you're done, before you show other people. Any other people." Twilight diplomatically suggested, trying her best not to insult Dash. In reality, Twilight assumed that the closest Dash had gotten to a dictionary was finding one and pulling out all the words that weren't in it, but saying that would have been mean.
Dash got the idea - Twilight wanted to read more, and before anypony else, because of how good it was. Of course she did, it only made sense. Dash could imagine the scene now, Twilight clutching a quill in her awesome magical grip, making minor changes here and there, reading by the light of her fireplace while Dash leaned close, their fur brushing together and their faces blushing as their desires finally got the better of them, and the story was left forgotten. That was surely how it would go down, of this Dash was certain. Finishing her fiction was now more important than ever, and after agreeing a time for Twilight's next reading, Dash took off for her home, where her trusty writing desk rested waiting for her.
"Dash, we're trapped!" shouted Daring Do over the loud, yet distant sound of raindrops smashing against the temple walls, and wind rushing through it. The two felt around for each other in the pitch darkness, wanting to know the other was alright before attempting an escape. Feeling the reassuring grip of each other's hooves, they pressed on, feeling around the walls until Do found a rock that felt looser than the others. As she pressed it, light streamed into the corridor as one of the blockages receded, allowing them access deeper into the temple.
The first room was caked in dust, lit only by the glowing crystals that lined the walls. There was a pillar in the center of the room, engraved with ancient Equestrian writings, which Daring Do immediately set about translating. Dash, not being proficient in anything beyond modern Equestrian and the few words of Prench she managed to pick up on the days she was actually paying attention in class elected to look around, searching the room. Lining the far wall were three statues, each representing a member of each pony race, surrounding what was clearly a doorframe. There was no handle, or switch, or lever visible, however, and the door seemed quite stuck when Dash gave it a push.
"Got it!", exclaimed Daring as she found the right dialect, and started to read. "Welcome, adventurers, to the Trials of Temptation. Our society is crumbling and our secrets will be lost forever unless we blah blah blah stuff stuff stuff... aha, instructions! To proceed, you and your companion must prove you are pure of heart and intention by passing each test. Fail, and you will be lost forever. How ominous!"
Daring Do joined Dash at the far side of the room as they stared, unable to figure out what the puzzle was, never mind how to solve it. A little more poking around revealed that a section of stonework could be pulled out, revealing two stone horns and four stone wings, looking like they could be attached to the statues lining the walls. Furthermore, the statues could be rotated to face away, revealing a hole of the correct shape to accept a pony of that type.
"Don't you see, Dash? We're two Pegasi, we need to change one of these statues into another!" exclaimed Daring Do as the pieces finally fell into place, before grabbing a set of wings and sticking them in place, watching as the hole behind slid and creaked into its new shape. Peering into the dark recess in the rock, she could almost make out the light of the second room - success!
Before long, the two had shuffled through, the small hole and difficult terrain leaving both of them panting and sweating heavily by the time they reached the second, dimly lit room. As they entered, they heard the sound of stone scratching against stone as the passageway they'd just come through closed up, blocking their exit. The only way is onwards.
The room was dimly lit, the only light source being from the few candles spread around the room. The candles rested on tables, and around the tables were comfortable looking seats. Almost like a romantic dinner, except one unseen by equine eyes for thousands of years. Both of the present ponies were excited by this idea.
Taking one more step, another trap was inadvertently sprung, shattering their false senses of security as holes along the wall opened, and the gurgling of a pumped liquid echoed into the room.
Slowly, a trickle began to flow from them, the thick, goopy fluid collecting in little puddles under them. Dash felt unable to resist investigating, dipping her hoof in the spill and having a quick lick.
"Do, I think this is pudding. It tastes really, really sweet.", Dash paused, her eyes unfocussing as she began to realise the severity of the second puzzle. Even in the dim light, her sharp Pegasus eyes could see the exit to the room, clearly open and unrestricted. Her eyes couldn't stay focussed on it for long, however, as they found themselves drawn to her adventuring companion's body as the true purpose of the drugged pudding became clear in her mind. The heat from her loins spread through her body as the heat was triggered in her head, and the thought of exiting the room vanished, replaced entirely by the thought of making Daring Do exit her clothes.
Rainbow Dash lifted her quill from the paper. The sun had set and it was getting more and more difficult to write. She decided to continue in the morning, safe in the knowledge that her writing's true purpose had been made clear to her - to impress Twilight and make her intentions clear. The message could only possibly be sent through the medium of erotic fan fiction, and Rainbow Dash swore to do the proud, valuable medium justice, and not besmirch its good name.
Daring Do and Rainbow Dash and the Trials of Temptation ======================================================= Chapter 4 ---------
The forest was silent, save for the heavy hooffalls of the lonely pony running over the soft ground, snapping twigs and ruffling leaves as she went. Rainbow Dash ran, the droplets of rain slapping against her face and the wind rushing through her mane, not making a sound. She dare not look back, too afraid of what she was leaving behind to even consider returning, though she knew her inaction had doomed her companion.
She tripped on a misjudged rock, and her face hit the ground with enough force to cause her to cry out in pain - something even the attack that had shattered her wing and left it tattered and useless at her side had failed to do. The adventure was over, the adventurers were finished. Her tears joined the raindrops as she thought of all the places and people she would never see again, and everything began to go dark.
In one last act of defiance, she raised her head to curse the heavens themselves, her cry echoing out across the chaotic, yet silent, night. Then there was nothing.
Dash awoke with a start, jumping out of bed and landing prone, breathing heavily as the adrenaline coursed around her body. Just a dream, she whispered, just a dream. Not real. It was a new dream, but just a variation on an old one. Her nightmares were always the same, below the surface - failure. Very little scared the brash, blue pony, very little could cause her to wake in a cold sweat quite like that. Just a dream.
Calming herself, Dash stared out of the window, watching as the sun pierced over the distant mountaintops and started a fresh day. Rainbow Dash liked this time of morning, nopony else was up and about yet, save for her and some of the other members of the weather team - but they stuck to their areas. This was the time when Dash felt comfortable pushing herself, when nobody could see her screw up, and she could pretend it hadn't happened. This was the time she made the most progress.
The time she could admit to herself the hopes and dreams she wasn't sure could ever be fulfilled. Everypony knew she'd get into the Wonderbolts one day, as soon as she was old enough. She liked to imagine they already had the costume ready for her, just waiting for her to pull it on. Other dreams were less certain. Other dreams she couldn't just rely on herself, and her skills, she needed others too.
Other dreams that were kept stalled because that stupid, gorgeous librarian couldn't see past her studies. Kept stationary because some ponies have no trouble accepting Dash as both one of the best fliers in Equestria, and yet also somepony who crashes through her window several times a month. Some dreams remained unmoving because it was easier to do a Sonic Rainboom than it was to say three simple words.
Some, lesser, dreams lay dormant because Dash was too busy scaring herself over what-ifs to pick up a quill and write. Those dreams were important too.
"Dash, why are you looking at me like that?" asked Daring Do after several seconds of watching Dash, paralysed by emotion, as she stared. "You okay? Door's over there, we really aught to get going before this place gets flooded!"
As if her words carried weight she couldn't understand, the slow trickle chose that moment to explode outwards, splashing both mares with thick, sticky, warm pudding. Daring Do didn't know what it was, but she saw what it did to Dash after she tasted some, and that scared her. Rainbow Dash was one of the strongest ponies she knew, and if she'd been stopped by just a lick, she didn't want to know what would happen to her.
Do pulled herself to her hooves, slipping on the now-slick floor and covering herself in the goopy fluid. Rainbow Dash lay there on her side, still staring straight at her, lightly panting as the pudding level rose around her, the waves breaking against her body and soaking into her fur, matting and staining it the light brown of fine chocolate dessert.
"Come on, Dash! Hurry!" screamed Daring Do over the sound of the continuous torrent, her now wet mane trailing over her eyes in thick bundles and strands. Her hat was ruined, the brim frayed and sagging under the weight of so much pudding.
Rainbow Dash didn't move, but Daring Do couldn't ever leave her behind. Her wings were too sodden to fly, making traipsing through the viscous liquid difficult and exhausting. "Take my hoof!" she yelled, holding one out for Dash to grip. In return, Do felt Dash's hot, wet tongue slide down the soft plane of her hoof, cleaning it of pudding. It felt good - too good - but she knew they had to hurry. Something was very wrong with Rainbow Dash, Daring knew as she grabbed hold of her and forcefully lifted her onto her back, fully intending to carry her across the long room where she could hopefully treat her in peace.
As luck would have it, she barely managed more than a few feet before the slimy goo conspired against her and she lost her footing, sending the two face first into the thick layer covering the floor. They both emerged at the same time, spitting Daring spitting out a mouthful of pudding while Dash happily swallowed hers, the slight disassociation in her eyes showing the effect the powerful aphrodisiacs were already having, even before most of them had been absorbed into her system. Daring Do looked into those eyes, and saw them quickly switch focus, pointing directly at her.
Dash's inactivity ceased as she dived forward, wrapping her hooves around Do's body as she pushed them both backwards into the lake of pudding, their relatively low density keeping them floating. As they fell, Dash's head flew forward faster, finding Daring's in a passionate, unexpected, but not entirely unwanted kiss. Dash tasted like chocolate pudding. Daring Do tasted like cheap rations. Daring Do found herself with no option but to swallow as the buildup of saliva in her mouth became problematic, and her unwillingness to break the kiss stopped her from spitting it out once more.
The effect on Daring Do was minimal. Long stretches of time alone in caves, temples, forests, and deserts had helped her train to be unaffected by going into heat long ago. Or so the concious part of her brain told her, trying to distract her from the way her hooves had reached up onto Dash's neck, pulling her closer and tighter, and the way she'd begun to thrust forward, grinding herself against her partner as the space between them was lubricated by the ever increasing field of pudding. Pudding - the room was flooding with pudding. They had to get out or they would surely drown.
Rainbow Dash raised her quill. Her own scent was filling the room, and she was hungry for chocolate treats. Leaving the quill where it was, she trotted over to her kitchen to fetch something to fix the latter problem, and set it down next to her ink pot. Taking a lick of chocolate, she returned to work.
"Dash! We! Need to! Get! Overthere! Door!" Daring Do gasped between kisses, her four legs pushing and swimming through the treat as she slowly traversed the room. Dash didn't even hear her, gripping tight and running her wet pink tongue over Daring Do's body, cleaning small parts of delicious, drugged pudding before a wave or splash would simply cover the area once more. Daring Do began to zone out, lost in a world of swimming and being licked, and closed her eyes, deciding to save her strength for when she needed it, and abandoned herself to it.
She came to some time later, lying on the cold hard stone floor, surrounded by a small pool of pudding, with a sleeping Rainbow Dash on top of her. They'd made it, and another door had slid shut behind them, cutting off the pudding stream. Checking her limbs, she found that while she was dripping wet, there wasn't a speck of pudding on either of their bodies, save for where they were lying. She wasn't sure what worried her more, that she had, at least temporarily, become so lost she'd licked apparently every inch of Dash's athletic, muscular, toned body, or that she couldn't remember any of it.
After poking and prompting, Dash came to. "Oww, my head. What the hay happened in there, Do? Something hit me?"
"Something like that. C'mon, we have to keep moving"
Dash's chocolate stained muzzle lifted away from the page, confident that she had absolutely no idea what she was doing, but was enjoying it nontheless. Poking her head out of the window, she found it was about noon, the sun directly overhead. She'd agreed to meet Twilight for lunch and reading soon. Maybe she shouldn't have binged on that chocolate.
Daring Do and Rainbow Dash and the Trials of Temptation ======================================================= Chapter 5 ---------
"Lunch?", asked Twilight with a bemused face, "Sure, just grab something from the kitchen."
Rainbow Dash may have imagined the dinner date, but the reading was real. The room was lit by the midday sun shining in through the open windows, and not the flicker of a roaring fire, but Dash was, by this point, willing to take what she could get.
Twilight's cupboards were almost bare, devoid of most forms of food. Dash knew Twilight ate out a lot, and got Spike to make almost everything else, but even she had more in stock, even if that was mostly in the form of leftover pizza. Twilight didn't even have that.
What she did have was some rather dry looking grass - not, Dash noted, hay, just dried out grass, as if it'd been sitting there for weeks - and a small pile of cheap gems. Rainbow Dash wasn't sure which one looked more appetizing. Maybe she could skip lunch just this once.
Her thought stream was interrupted by an embarrassed squeak from the front room. Twilight had reached the pudding trap.
"Dash", she called, "is this what I think it is?"
"Uh-huh, you like it?"
"...pudding?"
"Just... keep reading"
Dash slipped back into the kitchen, leaving the blushing purple unicorn to finish the chapter. Twilight liked it. Right? Of course she liked it. She had to like it. Everything rested on her liking it. Everything.
Without food to keep her occupied, and with the possibility of seeing two dreams crash around her ears very soon, Dash had trouble keeping calm. It was going to be alright, she told herself, over and over in the hope she'd believe it. It wasn't helping - she felt trapped, like she needed to fly. It was a familiar feeling to any Pegasus, they all felt it as children, and it took years to completely prune that part of their evolutionary heritage, but even then it could return in times of great stress.
"Okay, Dash, I'm done!" called the focal point of Dash's stresses and strains, her voice floating through the room. Steeling herself and hoping against hope, Dash pulled herself together, on the outside at least, and walked into the room.
"What... what'd you think, Twi?"
"Pudding? Seriously? It was going so well, but the pudding doesn't even make sense! How can there be fresh pudding in there after thousands of years? Why would there be pudding there at all? Did you think that through at all?" she exclaimed, her voice growing shriller as she went.
'going so well'
Approval! Success! Victory! Dash danced a little dance in the air, revelling in Twilight's praise, while part of her brain slowly worked on decoding the rest.
"Dash, that wasn't a good thing, it'll be difficult to rescue this! I, of course, am happy to help, if you want" Twilight continued, baffled at Dash's reaction.
Again, Dash heard only what she really wanted to hear. 'a good thing', 'I, of course, am happy to help'. Twilight liked it, and she wanted to collaborate on more!
"Now?" eagerly queried Dash, ready to spend more time with the surely almost seduced purple pony. Nobody could resist The Dash forever.
"Sure, I have a report due for the princess in a few days, but really I need Spike's help to categorise all the different frogs anyway" Twilight agreed, pulsing her horn and summoning her personal writing pot and quill. "Now, shall we rewrite the last chapter?"
"Nah, let's just keep going!" disagreed the dubious Dash, deciding to press on determinedly.
"Well, how about I write a bit, and you tell me what you think?" Twilight said, smiling sweetly at Dash and dipping her quill into the ink. Dash didn't really hear what she said, too busy looking at the pretty face and the smooth smile. She smiled back and nodded.
Daring Do drew her gaze across the room, spotting ancient statues lining the walls of the long, thin room. More pressingly, she noted that, save for the foot wide bridge spanning the gap between the two ends, the pit between the two sides appeared bottomless.
This was, of course, no issue for a team of Pegasi - or at least, wouldn't be if their wings weren't so caked in pudding that they were incapable of flight. Still, their natural agility, combined with years of skill and training should make a simple bridge an easy task.
As she took a careful step forward, Do felt a sharp pain in her neck, and a great force pull her back. An instant later, a great metal blade sliced through the air mere inches from her nose, the air current almost knocking the hat clean off of her head.
"Celestia, Do, be careful!", Dash exclaimed, spitting the hairs out of her mouth after letting go of Daring Do's mane, having just saved her ilfe. Again.
"So, what do you think, Dash?" Twilight asked, with wide, hopeful eyes. Nopony had ever seen Twilight's fan fictions before. Apart from that one time, but Twilight took care of that - just so long as she never had to tell anybody why exactly she knew the Want It Need It spell off by heart, nobody would ever find out.
"That's pretty great, Twi" Dash lied, the gorgeous author being more interesting to her than her work.
"Why don't you write the next bit, then? We could collaborate! Oh, we could have a pen name even! Rainbow Sparkle! No, that doesn't work..."
"Spike seemed pretty good with names, why not ask him?" Dash suggested, taking Twilight's quill in her mouth and savouring her taste and smell. The scent of lavender filled her nostrils, and the quill tasted basically like a quill, but it was Hers.
"Oh, Dash, you saved me!" shouted Daring Do over the sound of the huge blades slicing along the bridge, before diving forward and holding Dash close in a tight embrace. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Rainbow" she whispered.
"We'll never get across that bridge, Do! We need our wings!" remarked Dash, stating what was blatantly obvious to the duo. "Come on, I'll do you, you do me" she suggested. Daring Do was only too happy to comply, stretching out her wing, feeling the cracking and popping of the dried pudding breaking and snapping.
While Dash's mind couldn't remember the temptations of the room before, her body could, easily getting back into an intimate mood as she wove her tongue over her companion's sodden wing. Even dried, the pudding had a powerful effect, and soon Dash's licking grew from slow and deliberate to impassioned and powerful. Daring Do, much like the chocolate, melted under Dash's touch, her legs giving way and leaving her to rest on the cold floor.
Neither pony was quite sure why Pegasus wings were so sensitive, nor why sensation on them felt so good. Some theorised it was to make flight seem more important to younger ponies, but others thought that, like so many other things, it was simply because it felt good. Daring Do, were she capable of vocalising anything between Dash's rough cleaning licks, would not have disagreed on the last point.
Rainbow Dash's frantic licking quickly cleansed one of Do's wings, but her mind had long since forgotten what she was there for, and her licking continued down onto the yellow body, Do's pleasure lessening slightly as Dash left the pleasurable wings.
"Daaah-Dash", Daring Do gasped, "My other wing!"
Rainbow Dash wasn't so far gone she couldn't recognise a command when she heard one, and her attentions quickly turned to the Pegasus' other wing, still caked in yet more of the delicious, maddening chocolate.
"What the hay, Dash?" Twilight exclaimed as she read over Dash's work, blushing profusely with a mixture of embarrassment and, much as she was so ashamed she would never admit it, arousal. Mostly embarrassment.
It was a sign, Dash knew! Strong reactions probably meant Twilight liked it! The scene grew still as adrenaline began to flood her body, and her chest grew tight as she knew the time was right. Dash's body was on overdrive, her senses running almost as fast as they did during supersonic flight. She could see everything - the way the light reflected off of Twilight's mane as it moved almost imperceptibly during each of Twilight's breaths. The scent of her cheap lavender shampoo almost undetectable in the air. The sweet sound of her heavy breathing. One last smell was new to her, but she'd smelled similar smells to know exactly where it was coming from. Twilight was ready.
With a beat of her wings, Dash darted forward, turning her head in mid air and matching the shape of Twilight's mouth, already opening in surprise. She kissed her.
Daring Do and Rainbow Dash and the Trials of Temptation ======================================================= Chapter 6 ---------
Purple. Fields of lavender, a light breeze on a summer's day. The smell of a new book, or the sound rain makes as it splatters against the side of a dense cloud. Rainbow Dash had never known such perfection as now, her wings standing on end and her tongue wrapped around Twilight's. Her eyes were closed, and her body was savouring every moment. Every hair on her body seemed to glow with warmth just from being locked in intimacy with the pony she both ridiculed and idolised. It felt magical.
It was magical - while Twilight took that one, perfect, moment to react, she did so with force and determination, pulling Dash away from her and staring back with shock in her eyes. "Nuh-uh, Dash, you're not getting out of criticism that easily!" announced the ever-oblivious Twilight. Dash sat there dumbstruck - Twilight was messing with her, right? She could forgive missing the hints, even forgive misinterpreting the multiple offers of dinner, but this?
Rainbow Dash was not often speechless, but on this occasion, she sat quietly and listened.
"Your writing, while enthusiastic, is amateurish, your tenses keep switching, your abuse of a dictionary is only made more amusing by your limited and repetitive vocabulary, your idea, while not completely devoid of merit, is ruined by execution, and your understanding of ancient cultures is foalish at best." monologued Twilight, deep into the "I'm right, you're wrong" spiral brought on by Dash's apparent attempt to avoid criticism.
Twilight turned, looking away for a moment, "We can probably fix this, Dash, but you're going to have to promise me to take it seriously. Deal?"
Twilight paused, waiting for Dash's answer. Nothing came. As she turned back around, she noticed the window was open, and Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen. Her precious manuscript lay abandoned on Twilight's floor.
With nobody to be a know-it-all to, Twilight slowly calmed down, and the adrenaline rush from the unexpected, albeit not unwanted, kiss left her body, and she began to think about what happened. "Oh Celestia" she swore loudly as she realised exactly what she had just done.
Rainbow Dash wasn't crying. Rainbow Dash didn't cry. It was a side-effect of flying into the wind, it dried out her eyes and they needed to re-moisturise. There was nothing more to it. She just needed to be away from that stupid brainless heartbreakingly oblivious devastatingly gorgeous mare. Not like she cared. It was fine, really.
She'd planned to spend the rest of the day with... her, so now Dash found herself without plans. She may as well just go home. Stay there. She had a shift later that night, but they could get by without her.
Dash impacted her house at a quarter the speed of sound, puncturing the outer wall and smashing into the thicker internal walls she'd designed to be able to stop herself. That was fine, she didn't really want to go anywhere else anyway.
When she eventually realised that Twilight still had her fiction, Dash's resolve finally broke, and her head found its way between two clouds. Clouds are very good at absorbing liquids, and the denser ones even muffle sounds. Dash had some very dense clouds.
The following morning, the sun rose up over the distant mountains, like it did every day. Unlike every other day, Rainbow Dash only awoke momentarily, merely rolling over and falling back to sleep, not seeing much point in doing otherwise. She only really kept to a sane sleeping schedule so she could see her friends, she could practice any time, day or night, watched or alone. Alone sounded good to her.
Taking Dash's place as the town early bird, Twilight shuffled across town, slowly heading in Rainbow Dash's general direction. Twilight liked mornings, and was normally more than happy to wake early. Well, before noon. Most days. Most nights, however, she managed to catch a good few hours of sleep. Most nights didn't find her fretting over what would become of one of her oldest friendships. Spike had told her not to worry, that Dash was probably just messing around like usual. Spike also told her that an "oldest friendship" when she had met all of her friends within the space of a few hours was silly, but Twilight knew the benefit of accuracy.
Her mane was frizzy and untamed, with tufts sticking out at unnatural angles, and generally being in a condition that would cause Rarity to kidnap her for forced makeovers. Her back was covered by the strap of her pack - it contained two things. Dash's notebook, and hers. She knew which was more embarrassing. The enchantments were lifted, and anypony could take a look. If anybody other than Rainbow Dash tried, however, Twilight would defend it with her life - her reputation would be ruined forever were even a single sentence to escape.
Dash's house had seen better days, Twilight decided as she got close enough to make out the details. One entire wall had caved in, from some huge impact it looked like. Walking along, Twilight idly did the calculations to try and figure out what could do that. A small meteorite at a few times the speed of sound could have managed it, but that angle was all wrong, and Luna would have warned her if she was bringing down another rock.
That left option b. The scary one - a high velocity Rainbow Dash. A twinge of worry ran through Twilight's head before she dismissed it, knowing Dash would probably be fine if she flew straight into the ground, never mind into clouds. Knowing that didn't make her any less concerned.
"Rainbow?", she called, her horn aglow as she projected her voice upwards in her best impression of the royal Canterlot voice. There was a time in history where the act would have been considered treasonous, but Twilight wasn't sure she would have cared even if these weren't more liberal times.
"Rainbow Dash!", she continued shouting, her voice loud enough to shake the foundations of Dash's opulent home. It being floating in mid-air and made entirely of clouds, this was not a difficult task, but it was enough to awaken Twilight's target.
Dash skulked over to the gaping hole in her wall and considered poking her head out. She decided against it - she didn't want Twilight to see her. "What do you want, Twi?" she called, trying her best to sound as carefree and happy as normal.
"Can I come up?" called Twilight, shaking the house further and knocking over a large pile of empty pizza boxes.
"I uh, I'm not feeling too good. I have a cold. Achoo. You'd better come back much later, bye."
Twilight frowned. Dash had seemed fine yesterday, she must have come down with that cold very quickly, she should probably see a doctor about that. Still, Twilight wasn't about to leave without doing what she came here to do. "While you're recovering, you should read this. Read the note."
The two paper pads vanished from her pack, and appeared in the middle of Dash's room, landing on the floor with a small pomf. Dash's head poked out long enough to spot Twilight walking away, looking slightly dejected. That was fine, she should look a little sad. Not that Dash was bitter or anything.
Against her better judgement, Dash took a look at the first notebook - it was purple and adorned with little drawings of pencils. It reminded her of Her. Ignoring the note for now, she took a peek inside, reading the first line out loud, under her breath.
"Daring Do and Twinkle Sparkler and the Several Snakes, by Twilight Sparkle {My Eyes Only}"
To the right of the title was a date, written in her too-perfect hornwriting. It was dated earlier that year. Her curiosity overwhelming her, Dash pressed a hoof against the page, and turned.
Daring Do and Rainbow Dash and the Trials of Temptation ======================================================= Chapter 7 ---------
Daring Do and Twinkle Sparkler and the Several Snakes, Chapter 1
"The snakes!", shouted Daring Do, as the two adventurers found themselves in each others arms as the deadly snakes slithered and writhed towards them, hissing and spitting as they went.
"Daring, we have to escape!" shouted Twinkle, the bookish, purple companion of the famous adventurer, applying her unparalleled powers of deduction and coming up with the only possible action. Flaring her horn, the lavender mare started the spell that would hopefully save their lives, staring into Daring Do's eyes while she breathlessly recited the instructions.
A snake lunged, baring its fangs and snapping at them in mid air, quickly flying towards Daring Do's exposed throat. Then it stopped, as if striking an invisible wall.
"Thank Celestia, my snake repelling spell worked!" celebrated Twinkle, her passion for creating needlessly specific spells finally paying off. Looking around, she saw the snakes surround them, trying to slither past the impenetrable barrier, but failing.
"Okay, but how do we escape?" queried Do. Several seconds passed. Twilight's face fell, her ears drooping.
"They'll get bored eventually. I hope." she said, defeated. "I hate snakes."
Twinkle's hatred of snakes was only matched by her bravery and charm, and her sharp wit and intelligence. It was those qualities that caused Daring Do to ask her to accompany her on this dangerous mission into the temple of snakes, to retrieve the snake statue of the last snake king of the snake empire. That would have to wait until morning now, it seemed, the sun already starting to dip below the small angle that gave them light in the thick forest surrounding the temple.
"I guess we'll just have to set up camp here, then!" announced Daring Do as she grew bored with antagonising a particular snake, poking the back of its head and then pulling her hoof back before it could react. "Pity we lost all our camping gear to that Manticore attack, though!"
Twilight winced, she hadn't been fast enough to jump out of the way and cast her Manticore repulsion spell (The one that had won her several awards from Celestia's school for talented Unicorns) and it had ripped straight through their tent, rendering it quite useless.
"No matter", she said after several seconds of thinking, "I'll just conjure up another!"
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Daring Do asked, but it was too late, and Twinkle was already closing her eyes in concentration. Conjuration spells were typically very difficult, and managing to conjure anything at all was a feat beyond most unicorns. Twinkle Sparkler felt quite capable of performing this relatively simple spell, however - just a few sheets of material, some supports, maybe a fireplace. Nothing to it.
It was a long spell, and Twilight quickly found herself absent mindedly thinking about what had happened before she had left. In recognition for her achievements and the advancements she'd made in the field of magical sciences, Celestia had requested a personal meeting. She should have figured it out from the candles, or the way she was invited into Celestia's private room, but the meeting hadn't been about magical theory at all. Well, unless you counted the things Celestia could do with her horn.
The distraction of thinking about that was quite enough to unbalance the conjuration spell, all of the built-up energy that had been constructing itself into hard objects falling into chaos. The spell needed release, and quick, or it would feed back into Twinkle's horn and could do some serious damage!
Thinking quick, she brought up the structure of the simplest object she knew how to conjure up - thick, goopy chocolate pudding. The relatively huge amount of energy put into the tent translated easily to its loose structure, and a huge ball of delicious brown treat quickly formed in the air.
"Uh, Twinkle, is that-" Daring Do started, before the conversion process finished and both Twinkle and the chocolate pudding fell to the ground, the latter splashing all over the two mares.
"What the hay am I doing with my life?", Twilight asked, as she realised what she had just written and decided to shelve it for now, for it was late and she had an unmistakable heat emanating from her loins - while Spike was away, the mare would play.
Rainbow Dash looked up. Several long moments later, she blinked. She hadn't been expecting that. More importantly, she was irritated with Twilight for not finishing that. Her face broke out in a smirk as she realised how much fun she could have teasing her unknowing purple object of adoration about this. Her smirk vanished as she realised that not only did Twilight know, she had already been rejected.
The note was her last hope, and Dash scooped it up with exactly the enthusiasm you'd expect from a mare grabbing onto the one last chance of having the pony of her dreams.
"Dear Rainbow Dash, I don't really know how to write this down, most of my letters are about good things that have happened, and what I've learned. This one isn't.
Twilight, just try! Spike, I a- are you writing that down? You wrote down what YOU said? You're writing down what I'm saying? Stop it! No, just... carry on.
Dear Rainbow Dash, Today I learned that just because somepony is your friend doesn't mean you understand them. Just because somebody seems impenetrable on the outside doesn't mean they don't have feelings, and just because they joke around sometimes doesn't mean that's all they do. Today I learned that the only thing that hurts more than breaking somepony else's heart, is realising you've broken your own too. Your reciprocating lover, Twilight Sparkle"
Dash dropped the note and went to find her dictionary. Whatever Twilight thought of her writing, Dash DID know how to use one. R... was that one before or after P?
Rainbow Dash eventually found it, settling on the entry for 'reciprocating', and reading the definition with glee. Twilight loved her back. Twilight loved her back!
"Twilight loves me back!", Dash shouted as she streaked through the air towards Ponyville, her voice carrying on the wind and scaring farm animals, wild creatures, and Fluttershies alike.
The journey to Twilight's treehouse was a short one, Dash's wings beating harder than ever to get her there as quickly as possible. Only the ten thousand bit fine kept her from breaking the sound barrier and likely demolishing half of Ponyville.
Twilight sat there, wordlessly, in the middle of the main room of her library, a hopeful expression on her face as Dash flew through the open window and landed feet away from her.
"Please don't hate me" she started, "I do-"
Twilight's apology, or confession, or statement, or whatever it was going to be was cut off by the sort of lunge only a practised, talented Pegasus like Dash could achieve, locking lips once more in an embrace that, this time, was indeed reciprocated. Dash may not know much, but she knows that nopony could fake the way Twilight's breath grew just that little bit hotter, or the way her heart beat even faster than Dash's did mid-race, or the way that her brain's ability to think of all these ways was being slowly strangled by the overwhelming knowledge that she was kissing Twilight Sparkle, and by Celestia, did it feel good.
What seemed like hours later, Twilight broke the kiss, leaving Dash to sit down breathlessly, wordlessly, and thoughtlessly in front of her, staring into each other's eyes and waiting for the other to speak.
"Da-" "Twi-"
"No, you first", both offered in perfect chorus. As if they were puppets on the same string, both fell backwards laughing, appreciating the great irony that now both of them could freely talk about their feelings, they still couldn't quite manage it. Neither knew how to put it into words anyway.
Dash's years of training, and the tight relationship she had with her own body, gave her the second option of not putting it into words at all. A single beat of her wings later, Dash had propelled herself over to land on top of her still giggling partner - they were partners now! - to once again look A single beat of her wings later, Dash had propelled herself over to land on top of Twilight and look upon her no-longer-oblivious, still-gorgeous face.
"Y'know", Dash whispered, "you never finished that story, 'Twinkle'"
Twilight blushed - nopony was meant to have been able to see the similarities between her and Twinkle Sparkler. Dash knew her well, and paid a lot of attention to her, that was the only explanation. "Well, mare, ee-" Twilight whispered back, being periodically interrupted by Dash planting light kisses around her neck, or the way she nuzzled her head into her mane and breathed deeply, or the way her weight shifted and pressed against her, or so many other things, "su-ooh-rely we could continue r-aah-ight here?"
Dash would like that. Twilight knew Dash would like that, the smell wafting from her lower body told her that, and more. One thing Twilight had made sure to keep in mind when writing the character of Twinkle was that making her anywhere near as powerful as she really was would make the self-insert obvious. Wheras Twinkle took several minutes to create that much pudding, Twilight could create more before Dash could ask "How long'll it ta-aaaagh"
The vast quantities of fresh, warmed chocolate spread flowed out across the room, waves breaking against the invisible anti-chocolate barriers protecting Twilight's bookshelves and covering the two mares in a thick coating. Dash, hugging close to Twilight for protection, looked up, hoping the downpour was over.
The lump of chocolate sticking to Twilight's horn gave way, splashing down onto Dash's nose and covering the last clean spot she had. Dash's wet tongue quickly found its way onto Twilight's chest, stroking upwards and gathering the delicious treat from the even more delicious mare's seductive form. As Dash reached the edge of Twilight's neck, her eyes shot open - she had an idea!
"Wait there, Dash!" she commanded, vanishing in a flash of light. The pudding that had previously coated her only maintained its shape for a moment, before collapsing inwards as the thick layer of pudding covering the library floor flowed to compensate, pulling Dash in with its currents. Moments later, Dash emerged spluttering and wiping the goo from her eyes. Where the hay had Twilight just gone?
Dash heard the magical whoosh moments after she caught the reflections of the flash above her as Twilight teleported back in. The world around her seemed to slow as her reactions reflexively increased, and she flexed her wings ready to dart out of the way to safety. She beat her powerful wings, expecting the regular surge of speed and the normal feeling of power and agility. She went nowhere, the thick chocolate impeding her movements and slowing her flaps. Twilight landed on top of her, the splash covering her in chocolate once more.
More moments later, Dash wriggled out and surfaced, coughing and spluttering as the blew the chocolate goo out of her nose and flailed wildly at her eyes until they were clear. Whatever Twilight did had better have been worth it.
Dash slowly rotated herself in the thick goo, and saw a beautiful sight. Twilight Sparkle, covered in thick, delicious chocolate pudding, with it rolling down her incredible body and sticking in her hair, making it messy and sticky, and Dash wanted it all over her. Almost as amazing was what was hanging, quite clean, in the air, in Twilight's magical grip. A perfectly made Daring Do costume, complete with hat.
"I'll play Twinkle", Twilight announced as she slipped Dash into the costume, neither of them really caring that the beautiful craftsmareship was to be ruined in their coming communal fiction idea session.
Dash knew she looked good in Daring Do's trademark gear, but Twilight's gaze confirmed it. The way she was biting her lower lip just from looking, or the way her eyes were screaming "take me now".
"Oh, Celestia, Do, I'm sorry!" exclaimed 'Twinkle' with a completely out of character grin.
"Oh, great, we can't raid the temple of the lost snake chief like this! How are we going to clean up now, Sprinkes?" whispered Dash, the words being the extent of her roleplaying as she slowly crawl-swam towards her target.
"Sparkler"
"Whatever" she whispered straight into Sparkler's ear as she wrapped a hoof around her, finally having made the short distance between them, and gave the fuzzy, matted ear a quick nibble, lapping up the brown pudding and leaving the remarkably prettier purple beneath.
The hat was quickly pushed away as Dash drove her head into Twinkle Sprinkle's ("Sparkler!") neck, each slow, sensual lap of her tongue taking away a little more of the dessert, even as subsequent movements lathered it back in, each movement of their bodies bringing more and more pudding up onto them both. Neither of them cared.
Dash wasn't entirely sure Twilight was even aware of it, as she floated in the sea of calories letting Dash have her way with her, running her tongue over every inch of the beautiful purple unicorn bit by bit. Licking up her neck, Dash couldn't resist a kiss, Twilight greedily returning it as she savoured the chocolatey taste from Dash's eager mouth, moaning slightly as Dash crawled up, rubbing their bodies against each other, easily lubricated by the delicious goo.
Moving further up still, Dash began her work on Twilight's horn, letting her tongue feel along the hard ridges and up the solid surface. Dash had never been one for research, she wasn't entirely sure whether unicorns could really feel anything in their horns. Twilight had answered her wordless query the moment Dash's tongue had started roughly scraping against its surface, though, a moment of raw pleasure escaping her lips before she managed to catch herself and muffle it with a hastily bitten hoof.
That being all the encouragement she needed, Dash pressed on, slipping the tip of Twilight's horn into her mouth and pushing down, licking it from all angles within her safe, relatively pudding-free confines. Twilight's hoof proving unsuited for the task, she quickly used the other leg to pull Dash in tight, burying her face into Dash's chest and screaming. Loudly. Using words that'd make Luna blush, and everypony had heard the stories there.
When Dash reached the bottom, and slowly began to draw out, she left a gleaming purple spear behind, and Dash couldn't help but notice the obvious phallic comparisons. It wouldn't, would it? It might.
Dash quickly pulled out and started to slowly crawl up Twilight's body, sliding their slimy bodies together, and feeling Twilight's heavy, hot breaths against her chest, then stomach, then - almost unbearably - the center of her current interests. Twilight did her best to impede Dash's progress, holding her tight despite the pudding making Dash's ascent almost frictionless, and then when she could, frantically lapping at Dash's slit, sucking away the chocolate covering to find the delicious, pink insides. Much as Dash wanted to, though, she couldn't give in to Twilight's eager, hungry, probing tongue. Not even as it whirled around her clit, or dove just a little bit inside of her. She had to keep going.
Eventually - thankfully - she managed to escape Twilight's tongue's zone of influence, sighing with relief as she realised she could stop resisting the irresistible. Normally she wouldn't bother, but right now, she had a plan.
That plan was simple, lie in chocolate and use the Unicorn race's phallic symbolism as an actual, honest-to-Celestia phallus. Dash thought, even if she said so herself, that it was an excellent plan.
Twilight agreed without a second - and barely a first - thought the very moment her purple horn penetrated Dash's blue body. Just the tiniest amount, the very tip finding its way inside, but the sensation was overwhelming to the young unicorn, her sensitive horn filling her mind with emotion, and feeling, the way Dash's body moved imperceptibly with every heartbeat, the way her magical instrument so effortlessly connected her to her lover, tapping their pleasure and feeding it back into herself. She hadn't known what Princess Luna had meant when she said that "Unicorns have the most fun", but now she was starting to. She felt like she could know every part of Dash, just from that tiny connection.
Then she felt like she could feel nothing, other than the waves of overwhelming pleasure as Dash pushed down, slowly impaling herself on her horn. The thin ridges brushed against her inner walls, sending sparks of pure emotion deep into both of their bodies, bouncing and amplifying between then through the magical conduit. Twilight did her best to open it back up to Dash and let her share in the combined feeling as much as she could, but concentration of any kind was difficult.
Every time Dash wiggled a little lower, Twilight was overwhelmed with mindless joy again, giving Dash the breathing room she needed to prepare for the next onslaught. It was never enough to prevent both of their cries from ringing out across the room, echoing against the soundproofed walls. She kept pushing until Twilight's horn was entirely inside of her, and then she rested, for just a moment.
Twilight had other ideas - the magic was building up in her body, and needed release. The last time magic had overwhelmed her like that was also Dash's fault, and had resulted in the destruction of one of Canterlot's many towers, not to mention mentally scarring her parents. Twilight decided she was fine with something that would repeat the latter, were her parents here.
Gathering what concentration she could, Twilight focussed on Dash's body - an easy task for her lust-addled mind - and grabbed hold, surrounding it with a strong red glow. Rainbow Dash was completely encased, practically unable to move, save for her head - she'd need that for the moaning, Twilight had decided. Gripping the rest of her, Twilight began to push, lifting Dash off of her horn slowly, centimetre by centimetre.
The rush of pleasure overwhelmed her once more, and Dash found herself flung a few feet across the room. Twilight silently thanked that she hadn't been trying to move Dash more than an inch, and wordlessly picked her back up, easily realigning her. Taking more care this time, she pulled Dash in, driving her stake directly up Dash's vagina.
Soon, she found herself getting into the rhythm, push and pull. Like any stallion would thrust, except the other way around, and it felt so much better than even her raciest books had ever described. Dash's head, though it was under her own control, lay dormant, her tongue lolling out and her eyes rolling up as the pleasure overwhelmed her, Twilight trying to feed as much of her own pleasure back into Dash as she could in order to maintain control of her magic.
As Twilight felt the force of Dash's body colliding with her forehead once more, just one of many other times, she felt a decidedly non-chocolate liquid slap against her, the droplets rolling down her face. Sticking out her tongue, she tasted one - it was familiar. It tasted like Dash had. The constant moaning from both parties had reached a crescendo, and the feeling Dash's ejaculate dripping all down her face and horn was easily enough to take Twilight to the next level, the added lubrication making Dash's continued journeys up and down her horn frictionless. Her control slipping, Twilight slowly returned most of the pleasure back to her.
The amplified, redirected, rebounded pleasure stuck her like a freight train, wiping her mind of all concious thought as her orgasm instantaneously began. Dash's limp, heavily gasping body was flung across the room, landing with a splash in the sea of pudding while Twilight's mind remained clouded with pleasure.
The wave of magic blew out from her horn as every remaining shred of control left Twilight's being, wiping away magical enchantments as it went. The pudding evaporated into nothingness, the anti-chocolate enchantments were nullified, the sound-proofing went poof, and any unicorn within a 5 mile radius that was actively using magic experienced just a tiny shred of the pleasure Twilight was currently under. That is to say, Rarity had the biggest orgasm of her life and ruined the dress she was making.
Come nightfall, Twilight eventually awoke from her exhausted slumber, finding herself in the much hardier Rainbow Dash's arms - Dash having awoken some time prior and crawled along.
"Dash", she whispered, "you sleeping?"
"No, you?"
"Not any more"
Dash's head nuzzled into Twilight's mane, and planted light kisses over the back of her neck. "Everything hurts, Twi. Even my wings are sore."
"Yeah, my horn feels like it's on fire" Twilight agreed, wincing slightly as she tried to perform a simple test spell, but failed. Burnout. Weaker unicorns might never cast a spell again, most would take weeks to recover. Twilight'd have to manage without magic for the whole next day.
"So...", Dash began.
"Yeah, let's do that again some time" Twilight agreed.
"Yeah."
There was so much more to be said. So many things they needed to tell each other, and so many stories of when they almost had before. There was planning to do, and talk of what happened next. There was Spike to talk about, or what their friends would think. The start of their relationship was very much not over. But talk like that was best left for when neither of their throats had been moaned raw, and when they both felt comfortable walking without worrying they'd collapse.
For now, the best plan was one they agreed on together - just lie there, doing nothing, in each other's arms, and hope the headaches would go away.