The Teachings of Lost Love

by ChaoticHarmony

First published

It's just a cup of coffee and some small talk. Nothing deep and potentially life-changing could come of that, right?

After all of the chaos that the Cutie Mark Crusaders had put them through, Big Mac and Cheerilee still managed to end the day without being hitched against their wills.

That doesn't mean they can't go out for a cup of coffee.

<Coverart done by RuneBlade>
<Prereader Credits to: DarkAura, Hyde, iOctavia and RazBro>

Coffee, Small Talk and Past Scars

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[}—–{ Lessons of Lost Love }–—{]

Coffee, Small Talk and Past Scars


Nooooooooooooooo!” The three screams of the fillies behind them, while normally a sign of impending doom towards any unknowing pony that was unfortunate to stray into their path, brought a small little giggle bubbling up through Cheerilee’s chest. Walking alongside Cheerilee, Big Macintosh let out a hearty chuckle as well, throwing her another mischievous wink before glancing back to see the three fillies staring desperately at them with looks of sheer terror on their faces. Playing the deception further, Big Macintosh stepped just a few inches closer to the teacher, prompting another round of screaming from the distraught troublemakers behind them.

“Ah, music to my ears.” Cheerilee smiled at Big Mac before turning back to stare at the horizon that they were so-poetically walking into. “Those three always get into trouble somehow. Just the other day the three tried jumping from the roof of the schoolhouse screaming something about 'base jumping Cutie Marks'! I can't help but think I should have listened to my dad when he told me to go into music." The purple mare sighed wearily before continuing. “I suppose I was going to be their target of mischief someday.”

“Eeyup.” Always the stallion of a few words, Big Macintosh nodded in time with his trademark phrase.

“I still can’t believe that they thought we would have been some kind of perfect couple.” Cheerilee had to hide the blush that rose to her face, disguising it with a few coughs as well as brushing a hoof through her mane. "Not that you aren't a completely eligable stallion though."

Big Mac let out another of his gentle, rumbling chuckles, easing the embarrassed pony's discomfort. “Ah still cain’t believe that they thought I would be the one for you. Not sayin’ that you aren’t a good mare or nothin’, Miss Cheerilee.” The red stallion’s face burned crimson as he realized that he accidentally insulted Cheerilee.

A few moments of silence brewed, within which Big Macintosh saw the rest of his life flash before his eyes. After the visions had reached well into his forties, Cheerilee broke the silence that hung in the air between them, except in the kind of voice that every stallion dreads to hear from a mare: quiet. "Big Mac?”

“Eeyup?” His voice quavered and his shoulders tensed as he awaited the dreaded words to fall.

“Would you like to go get some coffee?” Cheerilee turned away to fight the blush that rose once again to paint her face as Big Mac looked over to her with an incredulous look. "W-w-well, I mean, it’s awfully late. And you probably have to go fix whatever damage those three fillies did when they were doing your chores. S-so I figured you-“ Cheerilee’s words sputtered into incoherency as the composure of a teacher shattered with embarrassment.

Big Macintosh, sensing the teacher’s obvious discomfort, decided to bring an end her red-faced suffering. “Eeyup.”

After a slightly lengthy walk back into Ponyville, which was quite the distance from the Apple Family’s livelihood, the two ponies found themselves at the door of a garishly pink coffee shop with its name spelled out in equally vomit-inducing mauve. Big Macintosh turned to Cheerilee and raised an eyebrow. To her credit, the purple mare blushed a brighter pink than the shop. “It-it’s not normally so pink. The owner just likes to… spruce things up a bit for days like today.” After a hanging moment of silence, Big Macintosh shrugged and trotted forward to pull open the door for Cheerilee. “Oh my, thank you Big Mac.”

Letting the door swing shut behind him after he walked in behind the mare, Big Macintosh was assaulted with an explosion of bright color. Ah’ve never seen so much pink in mah life. That was all the crimson stallion had time to think before another kind of explosion happened right in front of him.

“Oh my, look at these two dearies!” A hoof, coming from a pony dressed in pink whose face looked like it had been bombarded with make-up, grabbed onto Big Mac’s face and pressed it up against Cheerilee’s cheek, which had been shoved towards him with the mare’s other hoof. “Just two regular lovebirds on a date.” Suddenly the force that pressed him up against the teacher disappeared as the sunshine-yellow mare let go of the two ponies and hugged herself excitedly. “Aren’t you two just the cutest couple I’ve ever seen?!”

Big Macintosh stepped forward at the word couple, asserting himself over the mare who was practically gushing exuberance. “Ma’am, Ah’m gonna have to-“

However much asserting the crimson stallion was able to do; it wasn’t enough to stop the owner from interrupting him. “Oh, I know what you want dearie! Don’t you worry, I have just the table for you two lovebirds!” Despite their protests, Big Mac and Cheerilee were soon seated at one of the most “Hearts and Hooves Day”-esque tables that Equestria itself had ever known. “Now, I will be your captain on the ship to love today.” The mare positively beamed at the two crushed against each other on the smaller-than-normal bench. “I’m also known as Tea Cozy.”

A voice called out from the back of the shop, prompting the make-up clad pony to jerk up in surprise before turning back to them with an excited smile. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to find out what you’d like to drink. Be back soon!” As the mare’s singsong voice disappeared into the general din that hovered about the store, Big Macintosh and Cheerilee both let out a weary sigh that they had been holding in.

After their shared sigh, the pink-maned teacher shot a smile at the crimson stallion that was pressed up against her, though to his credit he was taking great care not to get too close. “So, how has your day been going?” At Big Macintosh’s incredulous look, she decided to elaborate. “What I meant was, before we were almost married due to the effects of a love potion.” Cheerilee couldn’t help but blush a little at the prospect but the change in her facial temperature was missed by the stallion next to her.

Big Macintosh gave a small, wistful smile at the recent memory. “Nothin’ too bad, jus’ some normal chores ‘round the town that some ponies needed doin’.” A moment of silence passed awkwardly before Big Macintosh decided to break it. “What about you? Ah’m sure a day of a teacher would be a mite more interesting than a farmer’s.”

“Well, not as much as you would think.” Cheerilee shrugged nonchalantly. “Today was a shortened day due to the…er… holiday.” Big Macintosh chuckled as she gestured helplessly to the absolute wall of pink that assaulted their eyes in every direction.

“Eeyup.”

“And, well, after the school day let out I… um… went back home.” Cheerilee finished her story lamely, and with a hint of something more being left unsaid. Before Big Macintosh could inquire as to what was plaguing the teacher’s mind, their ever-annoying server decided to make yet another appearance.

“Why, hello dearies!” Cheerilee and Big Mac both had to suppress a sigh as the violently yellow mare jumped up beside their table. “Have you two lovebirds decided on what you want to drink?”

In the corner of his vision, Big Mac could see the brightest blush he’d ever seen on Cheerilee’s face beginning to form. Enough was enough. Standing up slowly, so as to not cause the entire restaurant to panic about a stallion gone mad, Big Macintosh fixed Tea Cozy with a firm stare. “Ma’am, Ah understand that you’re just doin’ your job, but me and Miss Cheerilee right here are comin’ to this fancy place as friends,” Tea Cozy flinched at the stress that he placed on the word, “and Ah would appreciate it if you would stop callin’ us things we ain’t.”

The poor waitress had looked as if somepony had slapped her with a trout that they had produced out of nowhere. “Oh, um, yes, well.” After a few seconds of sputtering like that, Tea Cozy had finally regained her composure, though it was a shaky one and, thankfully, not one gushing romance like it had been. “W-w-well, have you two lo-friends decided on what to drink?”

Big Macintosh sat back down on the other side of the table from Cheerilee as the latter ordered them both medium cups of coffee. After the shaken waitress had departed, Cheerilee flashed a grateful smile at the stallion across the table. “Thank you, Big Mac, she’s not normally like that but it’s the holiday and all.”

“Eeyup.” A moment of silence passed between them, within which the waitress returned with their drinks and departed without another word. “Say, Miss Cheerilee, why is it that a nice mare like yourself doesn’t have any Special Somepony?” Big Mac looked up from his coffee to see the mare across the table from him staring deeply into her own. “Miss Cheerilee?”

“Hmm? What?” The teacher tore her gaze away from the black liquid that occupied her cup and looked around with an air of confusion, like a dreamer coming out of a nice sleep. “Oh, I don’t know. I guess I never found anypony to be that special to me.” Cheerilee sighed into her coffee and took a swig of the warm drink, enjoying the wave of heat that it spread along her body.

“Ah have two sisters, Miss Cheerilee, Ah can tell when a pony isn’t answering a question with the truth.” A few seconds ticked by before a now-embarrassed Big Macintosh continued. “Ah’m sorry, Miss Cheerilee, Ah don’t mean to pry. If ya don’ want to talk with me, Ah understand. Ain’t my business, after all.”

“No, no, that’s all right. It’s just that… well, some things in the past are a little hard to think about.” Cheerilee stared deeply into her coffee and eventually took a sip, looking up at Big Mac after she had finished her contemplation. “Have you ever done something that you knew was bad but you wanted to do it anyway?”

“Eeyup. When Ah was just a colt, Ah went climbin’ the apple trees to get the best apples that didn’t want to fall down at mah kicks.” Big Mac chuckled at the memory of his younger self. “Granny Smith nearly blew her top when she saw me climbin’ those trees. Ah couldn’t hear right for a week after she got through yellin’ at me.”

“Well, for me it was a little more serious than just climbing a tree I wasn’t supposed to.” Cheerilee smiled wistfully as her eyes turned inward to peer into her past. “For me, it was loving somepony that I shouldn’t have.”


Cheerilee walked down the street, smiling all the way. Tonight she was off to go meet with her special somepony for a nice night out on the town with all of her friends along for the ride. “Oh, I’m so excited!” Her wavy hair bounced as her every skip brought her that much closer to where she was meeting with them all.

The streets of Manehatten were brightly lit and packed with ponies off to have a good time, just like it always was. “Ah, there’s the place!” They had all agreed to go out to a bowling alley earlier that week, and Cheerilee bounced inside to see all of her friends already waiting for her at one of the lanes down at the far end of the building.

Obviously the owner didn’t want such a wild group disturbing the rest of his customers. Cheerilee, however, didn’t think of this as she trotted over to her friends while scanning their faces for the familiar one of her coltfriend. One of her friends threw his arm over her shoulder and led her into the group, smirking at her as she looked around in confusion. “Relax, Cheers, he’s not here yet.”

Another of her friends, Scarlet Scare, pushed forward and sniffed angrily. “Late as usual.” Cheerilee was on the verge of retorting vehemently until the colt who had his hoof around her shoulders laughed good-naturedly.

“Relax, Scarlet, he’s probably just-“

“Hey, get your hooves of my gal!” Every last one of the ponies in the group turned to see a brown stallion with a dark, greasy mane standing up on the staircase that led down to the lanes. “Sorry for being late, I had some business that needed attending to.” The stallion held out his hoof to Cheerilee and smiled. “C’mer Cheerie.”

The purple mare broke free of her friend’s grasp and practically galloped over to her colt friend. “It’s so nice to see you again, Richey.” Behind her, the group of ponies all made goo-goo eyes and kissy faces at the embracing couple. “Ready for some fun?”

“Fun? I’m always game for that.” Filthy Rich flashed a smile at the rest of the ponies that were around them, minus the faces that the had been making at the two. "Say, let’s make it a little more interesting.” Turning around to open the saddlebag at his side, Filthy produced a bag of jingling coins to clink on the table. “How about we make it a competition? The team with the most points gets the bag of bits.” The rest of the ponies eyed the bag with eyes filled with wonder. Half of them hadn’t seen so many of the golden coins in one place at once before. “Of course, everypony else has to put in some money towards the pot.”

“What?!” Scarlet stepped forward again. “That’s crazy. Why would we bet money on a simple game of bowling? It’s always money with you isn’t it Filthy?” The red unicorn jabbed an accusing hoof at the brown stallion, whose face darkened at the use of his unsavory name.

“Aw cmon, Scarlet, he’s just looking to make it more fun for us.” The stallion that had quieted her protests before threw his hoof over her shoulder casually. “What’s a few bits for the sake of fun? Besides, if we win then we get the gold.”

Scarlet brushed away the hoof angrily and stalked away. “If you want to waste your money, fine, but count me out.” The unicorn called it over to her shoulder as she made her way out into the street. The rest of the group turned to look at the pony whose comforting hoof had been shoved away.

The dark-blue pegasus shrugged nonchalantly, used to the rejection. “No problem, we’ll just play without her. It makes us evened out anyway.”

The rest of the ponies that remained all tossed in a few bits each, establishing the pot for their little competition. “All right then,” Filthy Rich hoisted a bowling ball in his hooves and smiled at Cheerilee, who returned the smile with one of her own, “let’s get this started!"

As the night pressed on and the pins fell to the continuous onslaught of the hardened spheres smashing into them over and over again, Cheerilee shared her team’s groans at the failed attempts at bowling as well as the cheers at every strike or spare. “Hey, Cheerie, it’s your go.” Filthy Rich poked her with a hoof and smiled.

“B-b-but I can’t bowl!” Cheerilee remained where she had been seated, that is, until the brown stallion pulled her up from the sofa. “Please, Richey, I can’t!”

“Sure you can, Cheerie, just push the ball down the lane and hit the pins. It’s easy.” With one last push, Filthy sent Cheerilee out onto the lacquered wood along with a bright pink bowling ball. “Don’t worry about it, hun, we’re in the lead anyway.” Cheerilee nodded and shakily picked up the bowling ball with her hooves, trembling at the sheer weight of the sporting equipment. She stared uneasily down the lane to where the ten pins stood, white and pristine, waiting to be knocked down. “C’mon, Cheerie, we don’t have all night.” She gasped and started forward only to slip and fall onto her flank, sending the ball rolling straight into the gutter.

Heat rose to her face as laughter from the other team as well as the groans from her own reached her ears. Just then the timer rang, signaling the end of their reserved time to bowl. The ponies all crowded around the scoreboards, staring up at the teams’ scores. “Oh no!” Another wave of embarrassment washed over Cheerilee as she stared up at the two scores. 100………101 "We… lost?”

The blue stallion from before let out a hearty laugh. “Well, I guess we won this one!” His hoof reached down to scoop up the bits and the bag of money that had been sitting on the center table. “Cmon guys, let’s get this all divied up. Thanks for the cash, Filthy.” The rest of the group all left in ones and twos, the victors laughing and joking while the losers tending to their hurt pride.

Cheerilee walked over to the brown stallion who was still staring in disbelief at the shining numbers that represented their scores. “Richey? Are you okay?” She gently put her hoof on his shoulder. “Richey?”

“It’s all your fault.” The stallion’s voice was soft at first, merely a whisper, until it came back as a roar. “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!”


“And after that he stormed out of the place, leaving me standing there with a heavy ball in my hand and a knife in my heart.” Cheerilee sighed and finished off the rest of her coffee, which had grown cold over the course of her story. “You know, some of my friends had told me that Filthy wasn’t any good, that I shouldn’t stay with him… that he didn’t care.” Wiping a hoof across her teary eyes, Cheerilee let out another sigh. “Sometimes I wish I had listened to them instead of fighting with them about it. Would have saved myself a lot of heartbreak that way.”

Big Macintosh sat silent for a moment as Cheerilee did the same. “Ah wish Ah could offer you some sort of comfort, Miss Cheerilee, but Ah’m afraid Ah cain’t.”

The purple mare shook her head and gave the stallion a watery smile. “That’s okay, Big Mac, being here is enough for me.” Another awkward moment of silence passed between the two, within which Cheerilee took the opportunity to glance out of the window. “Oh no! It’s late!” Standing up with the suddenness of her statement, Cheerilee tossed a few bits onto the table. “Sorry I have to run, but I’ve got to get ready for school tomorrow!” Just as she reached the door, Cheerilee turned to smile at the red stallion who had listened to her woes of the past. “Thanks for spending today with me, Big Mac, I’ll tell you the rest of the story another day.”

As the door swung shut, Big Macintosh was left alone in an empty shop, save for the few waitresses making their way around the tables to clean up the café. Smiling to himself, the farmer sipped at his coffee that had also grown cold. “Thank you, Miss Cheerilee, for spending it with me.”

School, Questions and Family Strife

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[}—–{ Lessons of Lost Love }–—{]

School, Questions, and Family Strife


“All right everypony, class dismissed!” Suddenly the room exploded into action as the fillies and colts who had been staring at her with eyes full of anticipation all moved at once. A few of them, like Diamond Tiara and her friend Silver Spoon, were out the door so fast that they became a blur. Others, like Applebloom and her troublemaking crusaders, stuck around and devised their next ‘get cutie-marked quick scheme.’ However, eventually the building was cleared of everypony but Cheerilee, who was stuck behind picking up after her class.

Cheerilee made her way quickly around the room, doing battle with the forces of uncleanliness and disorganization. Even though it was something that most ponies would see as tedious, Cheerilee had somehow managed to make it fun by allowing her imagination fly free. She whirled around the place, righting books and pushing chairs back under their respective desks as well as swiping away the stark white chalk that was scribbled across the board with her tail, smiling all the while as her freed mind took her to a place that she longed to be at right now: a meadow full of flowers.

At least she thought it was, until the flowers turned into paper hearts, and the tree stump she was dancing around turned into a restaurant bench. She bent down to lift up one of the paper balls that a few of her colts had taken to throwing around outside during recess and gasped as the white paper changed into a coffee cup full of the steaming liquid it was named after. Cheerilee’s hoof shook as she gently set the porcelain cup onto the tabletop, as if the slightest error would send the entire vision shattering into oblivion. As soon as the cup clinked on the polished wood of the table, the deep voice of a certain stallion she knew beside her sent a thrill of shock jolting down her body. “Thank you kindly, Miss Cheerilee.”

“Oh my! Big Mac! I didn’t see you there!” Cheerilee, blushing furiously, jumped down from the table behind her that she had somehow gotten on top of in her brief moment of shock. She walked over to where she had set the coffee down and slid into the bench opposite of the silent stallion. “So, what brings you here?”

The farm pony was silent for a moment before looking directly at her, a face of the utmost conviction on his face. “You do, Miss Cheerilee.”

“W-what?”

Cheerilee watched with helplessness as the stallion gently leaned over the table, his eyes glimmering like freshly polished emeralds as he slowly closed the distance between them. Her mind kicked into overdrive as his hot breath washed over her face, noticing all sorts of things that her normal, level-headed self would never have noticed. Then, without warning, everything slowed down until she could practically hear the seconds tick away at one every minute or so. Big Macintosh was too close now, much too close. But he didn’t stop, he only kept getting closer. And closer. And closer.

The image of the café, and the crimson stallion inside of it, dissolved into that of a classroom. Cheerilee looked around to find herself seated at a desk, panting heavily and holding a hoof up to her pounding heart. Despite the heavy weight that had been lifted from her shoulders yesterday, it was only the first of many that were made known to her after she brought up the memories from her past. The teacher sat there for what seemed like hours as she sifted through her emotions.

That is, until a knock at the door shattered the precious silence into thousands of shards. Cheerilee didn’t have time to wonder about who could possibly be visiting the schoolhouse at this time of day before the knock came again, louder than it was before. “Miss Cheerilee? Are you in there?” Recognizing the voice, Cheerilee pulled herself out of her memory-induced stupor and trotted over to the door a little faster than she probably should have.

“Oh, hello Big Mac!” She only had a split second’s notice before a red hoof gently tapped her nose. “Or should I say, Big Mac’s hoof.” Despite the blush that rushed into her face, Cheerilee managed an easy laugh that was shared by the stallion’s uneasy one. The hoof moved away to reveal the good-natured face of Applebloom’s brother which was crimson for other reasons despite his coat’s color. “Um, Big Mac?”

“Eeyup?”

“You do know that school let out an hour ago, right? Applebloom and all of her friends were the last ones out, but they left quite a while ago, saying something about spelunking Cutie Marks.” Cheerilee shook her head and sighed alongside Big Macintosh before waving to the bag that hung on a hook by the door. “I was just about to leave too; I just had to finish cleaning up the schoolhouse for tomorrow.” Cheerilee gestured back to the practically sparkling school room with a sheepish smile. “Do you think I did a good job today?”

Big Macintosh blinked once, staring blankly at the Teacher before shaking himself out of his trance. He leaned around to get a good look into the room, remaining silent as his gaze swept the walls. After a few seconds of his silent observation, the stallion backed up and smiled at the teacher. “Eeyup. Look’s jus’ fine, Miss Cheerilee.”

“Oh that’s good. Yeah, great.” The teacher blushed again and turned away, needlessly straightening a desk and then spending a few more seconds pushing it back and forth. Oh, please just go!

“Uh, Miss Cheerilee?”

Oh horseapples. Cheerilee turned around slowly, regretting every inch of her heavily blushing face that she was revealing. “Yes, Big Mac? What do you need?”

“Well, um, Ah was just thinkin’ that… uh… well, Ah was just…” The stallion pawed his hoof at the floor before looking up and taking a deep breath. “Would ya like t’go with me an’ get some of that coffee again?”

Cheerilee blushed even harder, cursing her filly’s reaction to Tartarus as she stared at the equally embarrassed stallion with confused eyes. “Wh-what?”

Big Macintosh flashed her a nervous smile and shrugged. “Well, Ah figured Ah’d listen to the rest of that story you had to tell. That is,” Big Macintosh kicked at the floorboards again before continuing, “if you want to, Ah can understand if it’s a bit personal for you, Miss Cheerilee.”

Cheerilee tried and failed to banish the heat in her face as she smiled at the stallion. “Oh of course, Big Mac, I did tell you that I would finish it for you one day.” She gestured to the calendar on the wall with an air of helplessness, letting out an unsteady laugh. “I just didn’t expect it to be today.”

Big Macintosh couldn’t help but deflate a little more at those words. “Well, um, Ah guess Ah could jus’… come back later then, if it’s a problem for you.” He turned away from the teacher, his voice filled with disappointment that Cheerilee had to hear all too often from her students. “Sorry to have kept you from any important appointments, Miss Cheerilee.”

Cheerilee shook her head, despite the stallion’s back being turned to her. “Big Mac?” The farm pony stopped dead in his tracks for a moment, waiting for the mare to continue. “You know, I didn’t say that I had anything going on today.” Despite what she had said, Cheerilee crossed off sit inside her home and brood about her past with a bowl of nice mint ice-cream from her mental day planner. “I’m up for some coffee, Big Mac. Well,” she trotted up to the stallion’s side and smiled innocently, “only if you’re paying this time.”

“Eeyup!”

After passing the three fillies from the day before, who let out another series of gasps and shouts containing the word “no” held to lengths of pronunciation that had been unheard of before, Big Macintosh and Cheerilee found themselves outside of the café once again. The front of the building bore the remains of the Hearts and Hooves Day decorations, albeit with a lot of the debris cleared away and stuffed into the unfortunate dumpster that was brightening the alleyway it occupied with its pink contents. The building’s hot-pink lights had been taken down, revealing a much more legible blue-on-black that spelled out the name Café des Fluers.

“Well, they took down those decorations fast.” Cheerilee let out an embarrassed laugh that was mirrored by Big Mac as they both remembered with a blush of the awkward time they had at the hands of Tea Cozy, which was the mare who greeted them just as they both trotted through the door again.

“Look at you two dear lovebi-“ The violently yellow mare stuffed a hoof in her mouth as she worked to repress her Hearts and Hooves Day attitude, blushing at the firm glare that Big Macintosh directed at her. “I shall have you two sweethear- er, ponies, seated right away.” After giving them both a wistful glance over her shoulder, Tea Cozy led them to one of the more populated areas of the café, towards one of the tables that had been recently cleared of any pink paper debris. “All right, here we are.” The waitress was still obviously very much in the air of yesterday’s holiday as she turned around with her sing-song voice. The sight of both of her patrons still standing sent a spike of confusion racing through her mind. “Um, is something wrong?”

“We’d like a more… private table, if you know what Ah mean.” Big Macintosh gestured over to the abandoned and still plastered with gaudy ornaments section of the café, empty save for a few ponies who worked their hooves to the bone to clear the eye-offending decorations away.

The unfortunate waitress practically deflated as she acquiesced to the stallion’s request. “Oh, okay then. Follow me.” Sighing to himself, Big Macintosh followed the devastated mare with Cheerilee close behind. “Here we are, what would you like to order?” The flatness of the waitress’s voice was enough to bring a small amount of shame to Big Macintosh’s face in the form of a blush, but he pushed it away as he sat down across from Cheerilee, who ordered them coffee. “All right, I’ll be back with it soon.” As soon as the downcast waitress left, Big Macintosh rolled her eyes at the purple mare across the table from him, who returned her amusement with a chuckle.

“Thanks, Big Mac.” Cheerilee looked like she was about to say more, but the ever-depressing presence of Tea Cozy returned, depositing their coffee unceremoniously on the table and trotting away without a word.

Big Macintosh huffed and rolled his eyes at Cheerilee again, whose face seemed to mimic how he felt. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with wantin’ a private place t’eat. They sat there for a moment, each of them sipping at their respective drinks and gazing about the shop, averting said gaze when their eyes met. They went on like that for a few minutes, stretching on to seem like hours for the two ponies, until Big Macintosh spoke out against the silence, tearing it like he would a stubborn piece of cloth that was catching on a tree.

“So…” The word hung in the air, awkward and alone, until it was followed by others. “Ah suppose you should continue… if you’re wantin’ to that is, Miss Cheerilee.”

Cheerilee set down her coffee and let out a weary sigh, preparing herself for the dive into the past. “Well, a few days after that, I took Filthy to go meet my parents. Nothing too bad, right? Well, it wouldn’t have been bad, if my parents liked him more.”


“Are you ready, Richy?” Cheerilee glanced back at her love, who was busy struggling to make his way up the walkway to the front door. “You aren’t nervous are you?” She giggled at her coltfriend’s grimace and trotted down to meet him halfway, looping a hoof around one of his and dragging him up to the doorway.

“I’m not nervous; I just think that your parents don’t like me.” The brown stallion slicked back his mane in an attempt to pass himself off as calm and collected, but the façade was ruined by his shaking hoof. “Remember last time I was here, Cheerie? They chucked me out on my rump after you started crying while we were watching that movie.” Filthy Rich snorted angrily before continuing. “They didn’t even let me explain that it was a scary movie, and you were just crying because I poked you during a scary part. No, they just threw me out and told me that if I ever set hoof in there again then your dad would beat me within a few inches of my life.” The stallion seemed to grow angrier at her parents, at the end of his tirade sounding like he would have gladly taken on Cheerilee’s father in a fight.

“Richey, they were only worried about me, especially since I screamed as you did it.” Cheerilee laid a hoof on her coltfriend’s shoulder, bringing him into a hug that he soon broke away from. “After Dad calmed down he asked me what happened, and I told him.” The purple mare gestured to the door that they were both waiting outside of. “And you’re here right now aren’t you? That means that they forgave you, right?”

Filthy Rich moved out from under her comforting hoof, snorting again. “Yeah, for something I didn’t do.”

“Filthy,” Cheerilee’s voice held a hint of warning as she took a step towards the brown stallion, irritation at her coltfriend’s sulky attitude flaring up in defense of her parents. “You know full good and well that my Dad-“

Just then the door to the house opened, throwing a bright, cheerful light over the two ponies who were just about to begin shouting at each other. “Why on earth are you two sitting out here in the dark?” A deep, booming voice that held an inner cheerful tone washed over them, quieting their anger that had been flaring up just a moment ago; extinguishing it like water on top of a fire. “Come inside already, Cheerilee, and Filthy.” The larger stallion seemed to tack on the other’s name as an afterthought. As they trotted inside, Cheerilee flashed Filthy a warning glance that seemed to say Be happy he’s not kicking you out. In response, the brown stallion rolled his eyes and let out another snort.

After a few hours of talking, Cheerilee found herself in the same position that she was when she had settled in to listen to the story that Filthy Rich was finishing with gusto. “And then my dad took over the family business. And after he’s done running it, the Jam Packed Company will fall to me, the pony destined to carry on its legacy.” The room descended into silence as the story ended, remaining so until Cheerilee’s dad grunted and sat up from his slumped position.

“Erm, well, yes, that was quite a nice story, Filthy.” Her father coughed again and popped a slice of cheese pizza into his mouth, wincing at how cold it was from sitting on the table.

“Thanks, I’ve spent a long time trying to get it juuust right.” Filthy mimicked her father’s actions, from the pizza to the wincing at the chilled bread’s taste. “Say, can I go use the bathroom? Talkin’ about the old days takes up a lot of time… and well you kn-“

“Down the hall and to the left, Filthy Rich.” Cheerilee’s mother interjected into whatever vulgar phrase that her daughter’s coltfriend was going to say.

“All right, be back soon!” Cheerilee sighed as she watched the brown stallion pass the corner of the hallway that led deeper into the house. She would have stayed like that until he returned if it had not been for her parents shaking her out of her trance with hushed voices.

“Cherry,” Her mother leaned in closer towards her with the air of a concerned parent, “I don’t think that you should be dating that stallion.”

Despite the love that she held for her mother, Cheerilee couldn’t help but flare up in anger. “What do you mean by that, Mom?” Despite the fact that her parents were urging her to be quiet, Cheerilee found herself getting louder and angrier. “Don’t tell me to be quiet! You just told me that I shouldn’t be with the pony I love! How am I supposed to react?!”

“Cherry, it’s not anything against you, I promise. It’s just that I know stallions like that. I’ve dated a few in my time.” Cheerilee let out a disbelieving snort at her mother’s words, the older mare flinching back as if she’d been slapped.

“You don’t know Richey good enough, then.”

“Now see here, Little Missy. Your mother just wants the bes-“

“Oh, please, don’t give me that ‘I just want what’s best for you’ crap, Dad. We all know that’s just a bunch of horseapples.” Cheerilee paused only for a moment after her parents both gasped aloud at her cursing. “I think it’s just best that we don’t come here again. It’s obvious you’re not going to accept Richey like I do.”

“Cherry!”

“Cheerilee! Don’t say tha-“

“Um, is there something wrong?” Everypony in the living room turned to see Filthy Rich standing against the wall, trying for all the world to blend into the wallpaper and disappear. “Do I need to leave you guys alone for a while?”

“No, Richey, you don’t.” Cheerilee threw a dagger-glare at her parents before getting up and stomping over to him. “We’re leaving.” The mare wrapped a hoof around one of the brown stallion’s, dragging him over to the door the same way she had brought him up to it before.

“But Cheerie, what about your parents?”

Cheerilee paused for a moment before glancing back at her parents, only to turn around with her nose high in the air. “I don’t have any parents anymore.”


“After that day, I never did see much of my parents anymore.” Cheerilee downed the rest of her coffee and sighed. “Well, at least while I was still with Rich.” The teacher shook her head sadly, still enveloped by the cold blanket of the past. She didn’t even notice when Big Macintosh laid one of his heavy-set hooves on her shoulder until he shook her gently. “Oh, sorry Big Mac, I just…” Her hooves gestured helplessly before falling down to her sides.

Big Macintosh nodded and smiled at the mare across from him. “Tha’s all right, Miss Cheerilee, Ah understand completely. Cain’t be pleasant revisitin’ such an unpleasant thing like that.”

“It’s just that, well, when I look back on it… I should have listened to them. My parents, I mean.” Cheerilee sighed wearily before continuing, leaning into the hug that Big Macintosh wrapped her in. “Kind of like my friends, really, I alienated them because they talked bad about Filthy. I thought they were lying.” She wrapped her hooves around the red stallion and let out a shaky breath. They sat there like that for what seemed like hours, Cheerilee silently thanking Celestia for the gift of another pony to share her pain with. The mare took in a breath and pulled away from Big Macintosh, turning away to brush a hoof across her eyes, wiping away the few tears that had made themselves known. “I guess it was just me, being too blind to see Filthy for who he really was.”

Another moment of silence pressed down on the two before Big Macintosh laid a hoof on the teacher’s shoulder. “Y’know,” he faltered for a moment as he chose over his next words with care, “Ah know a thing or two ‘bout your folks not takin’ to who ya love.” Cheerilee remained silent, waiting for him to continue. “Ah know that it hurts, havin’ your folks say somethin’ like that t’ya, and ya don’t want t’believe them because they don’t seem like they’re makin’ any sense. That you want believe what they say about your love bein’ fake ain’t true.” Cheerilee turned around to see the two glimmering emeralds of Big Mac’s eyes tighten with a past pain. “Ah know how it feels, Miss Cheerilee.”

“Wh-who did you love, Big Mac?” Cheerilee lifted up her hoof to lay it on the one that was on her shoulder. “And… what did your parents say about her?”

Big Macintosh stood up with the suddenness and force of an earthquake, breaking away from Cheerilee’s inquisitive stare and turning away abruptly. “Look at the time! Ah’m mighty sorry, Miss Cheerilee, but them chores at the farm ain’t gonna do themselves.” Within a few confusing seconds, Cheerilee found herself staring at the door that her crimson companion exited with the air of never entering through it again, the few bits that had been left on the table still spinning in their circles.

Cheerilee practically leapt out of her chair as the coins suddenly clinked onto the polished surface of the table, turning to see the violent yellow mare holding them down with a hoof and following the teacher’s gaze towards the door. “Now if I’ve ever seen a stallion who didn’t want to talk about something, he’s the worst of the bunch. Looks like you’ve got some sweetheart business to attend to.” Tea Cozy swept the coins off the table and winked at the bewildered teacher before walking away to serve another pair of customers.

Didn’t want to talk? Cheerilee set her used coffee cup aside and stood slowly, enveloped in her confused thoughts. Why doesn’t he want to talk about it?

Apples, Chores and Coltfriends

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[}—–{ Lessons of Lost Love }–—{]

Apples, Chores and Coltfriends


Cheerilee pushed the last desk back into place, sighing to herself as she let go and set her hooves back onto the floor. “I wonder what Big Mac is doing right now.” Shaking her head to banish the sudden image of Big Macintosh staring into her eyes, Cheerilee trotted over to her desk and snatched the fresh apple that was resting on its surface. “Probably just doing chores at the farm or something, knowing that workhorse.” She smiled at the apple, whose smooth skin reflected an upside-down smile back at her, before she took a large, satisfying bite out of the fruit.

After swallowing the succulent flesh, Cheerilee let out a satisfied moan. “Oh my gosh, I love Big Macintosh Apples.” A full five seconds passed as her mind mulled over the implications of what she had said. When the mental gears had finally clicked into place, a burning blush spread across the teacher’s face. “Well, what I mean is… erm… I like how the apple tas-“ Cheerilee stuffed a hoof into her mouth to stop herself from babbling to the air. After a few moments of steadying breaths, the mare set her hoof back onto the ground and smiled to herself before taking another bite out of the apple.

“You know, I havn’t sheen Big Macsh Latshy.” Cheerilee swallowed the morsel that was butchering her speech. “I hope nothing bad happened to him. “ She sat there for a few minutes, idly checking the room around her, which had been cleaned to perfection, for any out-of-place objects. When she found none after her third search, Cheerilee picked up her saddlebags and pushed open the door, shielding her adjusting eyes to the sudden brightness of the sun. Sighing to herself, Cheerilee set out into the world outside of the classroom.

“Good afternoon, Miss Cheerilee, might I have a word with you?” The harsh voice nearly made Cheerilee jump out of her skin. As it was, she did leap into the air and land on her flank after nature’s unkind warden, gravity, pulled her back down. Cheerilee blushed furiously as a hoof looped under her leg. She turned to look at the pony who had been waiting for her, only to feel as if a train smashed into her skull. “Um, are you all right, Cheerie?”

The mare knocked away the hoof that was touching her with a disgust that had exploded into existence. “I’m fine.” Pushing herself to her hooves, Cheerilee brushed away the dirt that was clinging to her body. After maintaining a moment of terse silence, she sighed and rounded on the brown stallion. “What did you want, Filthy?” The stallion’s smile instantly fell into something resembling a grimace.

“I prefer the name R-“

“I know what you prefer, and I don’t care.” Cheerilee noted with some sort of vehement satisfaction that the other pony flinched back as if she had slapped him, which was something that she very much wanted to do. Despite the stallion’s pain, she continued relentlessly. “What did you come here for?”

Filthy Rich stood there for a moment, staring blankly into the glare that Cheerilee was throwing at him as if the look could somehow be turned into a knife. “Well… I wanted to say...” A few seconds passed with Filthy stumbling over words as if they were obstacles in a course. “I was just here to inform you that Diamond Tiara isn’t going to be at school tomorrow, she’ll be busy visiting her grandmother.”

Cheerilee opened her saddlebag and pulled out her teacher’s planner along with a pencil. After she had crossed out the filly’s name in the role sheet and stashed the journal in her bag, the teacher looked up at the stallion with a neutral stare. “Is that it?”

Filthy seemed to war with himself for a few seconds before shaking his head. “No, that’s all. Sorry for taking up so much of your time, Cheerilee.” The sleek-haired stallion turned away, setting off at a swift trot that was only slightly stiff, as if he still had something he still wanted to say. Cheerilee stood there for a few minutes until the outline of the pony she had once loved became just a dark blur on the trail. After letting out a weary sigh, she hefted the heavy saddlebags that seemed to have gotten heavier over the course of her conversation and set off down another path, this one leading towards her home out in the outskirts of Ponyville.

As she trotted amongst the low bushes and occasional tree, Cheerilee couldn’t help but wonder as to what Filthy Rich had been going to say, each of the different possibilities along with her imagined reactions to them playing over and over in her mind. The wind howled with her shrieks of anger and whistled with her voice of calmness, at least until it pushed her over into one of the bushes that dotted the side of the road. Now most ponies that were in her situation would have simply pushed themselves up from the foliage and continued on their way, but Cheerilee somehow managed to end up further in the bush the more she struggled to pull herself out of it.

The mare stopped for a moment, taking in a few calming breaths while staring at the sky through the breaks in the leaves. Am I really having trouble getting out of a bush? After calmly extracting herself from the jabbing sticks that were hidden amongst the green, Cheerilee shook the bits of twigs and other various plant material out of her mane. Setting a pace of a slow but steady trot, she smiled at her own silliness. Oh, I can only imagine how my little ponies would have reacted to seeing their teacher having trouble with a simple bush on the side of the road.

Then, as if by some Celestia-given reason, Cheerilee glanced off to the right to see the bright red of Sweet Apple Acres’ barn house as well as the vast fields of apple trees that surrounded the entire area. For a few moments that seemed to stretch into eternity, the teacher stood where she was, staring off at the distance splotch of red amongst green. When those few moments were over, she had made up her mind. I wonder how Big Mac has been doing.

The stallion in question had been doing quite tired lately, what with picking season for the entire west orchard aligning with the season of the northern fields. He, Applejack, and little Applebloom had been working non-stop to send the apples tumbling from the branches of the trees into the wooden buckets that had been laid under their wide branches. The two females had retired to the farmhouse for supper long ago, leaving Big Macintosh to go from tree to tree in the afternoon light and kick each of the tall producers of the red fruit that shared his color as well as his family’s name. At another of his powerful bucks, a cascade of crimson marked yet another tree being cleaned of its bounty.

Big Macintosh couldn’t help but sigh as he stared at the rows upon rows of trees that were waiting to receive the same treatment he had given the one that was still shuddering from the strength of his kick. He noted that the tree was shuddering significantly less than its predecessors, only taking a few seconds to still itself. Ah should bring in these last few buckets and turn in for the night. Ah’m a mite too tired to be doin’ this for another hour.

The thought came with an air of reluctance, as did his movements to gather up the buckets that were filled with the afternoon’s harvest. He hated more than anything to let down his family, which he had promised that he would remain for at least three hours after supper, but he knew that he couldn’t keep harvesting lest he end up like Applejack did when she tried to undertake Applebuck season all by herself.

A smile crossed his face as he recalled his sister’s extreme aversion to breaking the bet as well as the mayhem that she caused by trying to do both the bet and the various things that she promised her friends she’d do. The apples in the buckets swayed side to side as he pushed them along the bumpy ground towards the cellar that they were stored in before going to market. He found himself struggling to move the line of apple towers, more tired than he had originally thought.

As he topped another foot tall hill, panting, something besides gravity had sent the beautifully grown apples tumbling to the ground. That something was the stallion that had been pushing them, who leapt up into the air at the sudden sound of a mare’s voice beside him. “Hello there, Big Mac!” As the carefully gathered fruit cascaded onto the beaten path, Cheerilee felt as if a firestorm had been started beneath her face. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, Big Mac.”

“That’s all right, Miss Cheerilee, Ah didn’t see you there.” Big Macintosh set all four hooves onto the ground, wary of the apples that were still rolling in every direction on it, and looked curiously at Cheerilee. “Pardon mah askin’, but what are you doin’ out here at the farm?”

The teacher snatched a few of the troublesome fruits and tossed them into the bucket. “Oh, nothing, I just figured you might like to go out and get some coffee but…” she gestured helplessly towards the multitude of apples that were now occupying the area under their hooves, “I suppose you’re just a little busy with chores at the moment?”

“Eeyup, just a little.” After sharing a chuckle with Cheerilee, Big Macintosh cast his glance downward and sighed. “Well, more than a little.”

Cheerilee blushed again, following Big Macintosh’s look to the ground and cursing herself for not making herself known earlier. “Yeah… I’m sorry about that, Big Mac, I didn’t know you were going to jump like that.” Reaching down, the mare threw a few more recovered apples into the nearly empty buckets. “Do you think I could make it up to you by helping you?”

“Nnnope. Ah’m not goin’ t’ask a mare like you to help me pick up some apples, t’ain’t that ha-“ The rest of whatever Big Macintosh had been about to say was cut off by an apple smacking him clean on the nose. After blinking a few times, he looked up to see Cheerilee hefting another apple and fixing him with a mischievous smile.

“I know you can do it yourself, but I bet it’ll be more fun if we work together.” With that, Cheerilee threw the apple up into the air and thwacked it towards Big Macintosh, who was only just able to prevent it from smacking him in the nose again by throwing the bucket between him and the speeding fruit, which landed in the bucket with a satisfying thunk. “What do you say, Big Mac? Should we play a little game?”

Big Macintosh looked at the bucket in his hooves and smiled, looking up to the teacher with a look in his eyes that mirrored hers. “Eeyup!” Wasting no time, Big Mac swept out his hoof and came up with a good legful of apples, just right for tossing. “Here they come, Cheerilee!” The apples flew from his hoof and soared towards the purple mare, who just narrowly avoided a barrage of apples pelting her nose by lifting a bucket just like Big Macintosh did a few seconds before.

Not one to stand by and wait for the next assault, Cheerilee hefted a few more apples with her tail and launched them like boulders from a catapult. The metaphorical boulders crashed down onto the stallion, who was only able to catch a few of them in a bucket before the rest landed on his back with soft thuds. As he shifted the barrel off his back, Big Macintosh turned to see Cheerilee standing next to the only bucket that still had its pile of apples undisturbed with an evil smile plastered on her face.

Now, Big Macintosh was anything but a weak stallion, so most ponies would have figured that a bucketful of apples fresh from the trees wouldn’t pose much of a threat if they were dumped onto him. That is, most ponies that haven’t had a bucketful of apples dumped on them without warning. As it stands, the red stallion was buried in a metaphorical avalanche of apples.

Cheerilee stood over the pile of fruit, admiring her handiwork. “Had enough yet, Big Mac?” She leaned in closely to the pile, listening for the voice of the defeated stallion that was muffled by the apples. After a second of listening, she got the answer she so desired.

“Eeyup. You win, Miss Cheerilee.”

“Now I suppose we should pick up all these apples, right?”

Big Macintosh shifted aside the apples enough so he could poke his head out of the pile and survey the carnage of the battles of the red fruit. “Ee….yup. Looks like we got a bit more work than what we started with, Miss Cheerilee.”

“Eeyup.” The mare giggled as she mimicked the stallion’s mannerism, setting about to clear the pony free of the avalanche. “We’d best get started then.”

After picking up the even larger amount of fruit on the ground, Cheerilee threw herself panting and gasping for air onto the ground, smiling to herself with the sheer amount of fun she had been having. “I never… thought that… picking up… a bunch of apples… could be so much… fun.” She rolled over slightly to smile at her cleaning companion, who returned her expression with a smile of his own. “And so… tiring.”

“Eeyup. Ah never quite thought that either. Ah wasn’t ever able to make sense of Applejack and Appleblossom with their games that they liked to play.” Big Macintosh chuckled at the memory of watching his sisters bounce around like foals that had gotten into a bag of sugar. Cheerilee mimicked his laugh and sighed as it died in the air. They sat silent for a moment, each of them recovering from their unexpected bout of exercise and mulling over their own thoughts. “Y’know, Miss Cheerilee,” Big Macintosh was the first to break the silence with his rumbling voice, “Ain’t nopony come down to the farm to help me without havin’ some dept to pay since my folks- well, since they didn’t take to my… romantic preferences.”

“Romantic preferences?” Cheerilee looked to the stallion with confused eyes. “What do you mean by romantic preferences?”

The stallion mumbled something that was just barely within audible range. “They didn’t say nothin’ about a she. They jus’ didn’t take kindly to my coltfriend.”

Despite their conspiratorial air, Cheerilee couldn’t stop herself from shouting. “You’re a Col-“ she shoved a hoof into her mouth, blushing furiously at her outburst, before continuing, “I mean, you’re a colt-cuddler?” The teacher regretted her words instantly as soon as they left her mouth, wincing at the grimace that spread across Big Macintosh’s face.

“Ah’d like it if you’d not call it that, Miss Cheerilee.” The stallion’s voice was bitter with the untold pains of the past. “Makes it sound unpleasant even when it’s just the same kind of love as a mare and a stallion lovin’ each other.”

“I’m… I’m sorry, Big Mac, I didn’t mean to…” She fell silent as Big Macintosh turned away from her.

“That’s fine, Miss Cheerilee. Ya didn’t know. Ah cain’t fault you for bein’ surprised.” The stallion shifted away, curling slightly inward. “Ah’m used to it by now.”

Cheerilee yearned to touch the trembling stallion, yearning to comfort her friend who was so deeply in pain right now, but she couldn’t only move her hoof a few inches before stopping. “What… what did they do, Big Mac?” She very nearly recoiled away from the stallion as he turned away from the sky to face her, his eyes contorting with a pain that all too many ponies experienced in their lives: the pain of having your family reject what makes you happy.

“Well, Ah had t’do some chores, so Applejack came into town t’get me. Ah was busy spendin’ my time with-“ Big Macintosh paused for a moment as he thought about how to tell Cheerilee without telling her, settling for simplicity as was his nature. “Well, anyway, she came and found me in the market with my special somepony, and we were out shopping for some things that he needed to fix up his house.” Big Macintosh passed for a moment as he allowed himself to sink further into the memory. “Ah remember now, it was because of the hole Ah had kicked in his bed frame last time Ah we-“

“Okay, back to the normal memory please?” The crimson stallion burned an even brighter red than Cheerilee as he coughed and wheezed with embarrassment.

“Ah’m sorry, Miss Cheerilee, Ah didn’t mean to say that.” Letting out an uncomfortable laugh, Big Macintosh continued his tale. “Well, since he heard that Ah was goin’ back to the farm, he asked if he could come along. After Applejack had left, that is.” Big Macintosh grew softer as he spoke, so soft that Cheerilee found herself scooting closer to him to catch the near-whispers that escaped the stallion’s lips with an air of reluctance. “Ah didn’t see no harm in lettin’ come down and help me out ‘round the farm, so Ah let him come along. Ain’t no problem to me if somepony wants to help me with my chores.”

“He wanted to make a game out of it, just like you did, Miss Cheerilee.” Big Macintosh sighed and idly waved a hoof in the air. “And after we had cleaned up, Ah figured we’d walk back into town, but he stopped me and looked at me with his gosh darn beautiful green eyes. They shined jus’ a bit brighter than yours do, Miss Cheerilee.” Sighing to himself, Big Macintosh stood up and kicked at one of the empty trees that surrounded them. “An’ that’s when Granny found us.”

Silence pressed down on the two ponies, filling the air with nothingness as they both were left with their thoughts. “What… what did she do?” Big Macintosh didn’t turn around at her voice, instead opting to kick the tree hard enough to cause the wood to splinter where his hoof connected with it. “Big Mac?”

“Past that day, Ah’ve only gotten a glance of him whenever Ah go out to the market.”

“How does it feel?”

“Miss Cheerilee, Ah think you should get going. It’s getting awfully late and Ah bet you have a ways to go to get home.” Big Macintosh still didn’t look at her, though his voice gave off every sign that he wasn’t going to say anything else to her.

“Big Mac? Are you okay?” True to his voice, Big Macintosh didn’t react to Cheerilee’s question. “Um… I’ll go ahead and go then. I’m sorry for… for bringing it up.” As she trotted up one of the many hills that dotted the landscape around Sweet Apple Acres, Cheerilee turned back to see another tree shudder and let out a crack like thunder as the troubled stallion no doubt let out another burst of his anger.

Markets, Celery and Stallions Whipped

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[}—–{ Lessons of Lost Love }–—{]

Markets, Celery and Stallions Whipped


The red stallion cast his gaze furiously about the marketplace, searching for the one pony that inadvertently evaded his eyes. At his back was the hard-yet-soft wall of the turnip stand, the pony at the front of said stand looking down at him with an expression of confusion which was easily ignored by Big Macintosh as he continued his mission. As a group of gossiping mares crossed his vision, the stallion couldn’t help but feel a twinge of irritation when they stopped and stood right where he was searching.

Big Macintosh slowly edged away so that he could look around the ponies, his field of view becoming slightly more mare-free. When they suddenly moved away, he was greeted with the thing that he had been searching for. A thrill of fear and excitement passed through his body as he stared at the stallion that was standing in front of the onion stand, suddenly turning into terror as the pony started turning towards him. Performing a stunt that he had read about in one of the Con Mane novels that he had read in his spare time, more commonly known as a barrel roll, he slammed his back up against another stall with his breath coming in short gasps.

As slowly as a stallion his size could manage, Big Macintosh poked his head around the corner, ready to whip back behind it at the slightest sign of his target spotting him. Said target was still standing across the street, now bartering with the cherry vendor for a better price on the stand’s specialty. After a few seconds of watching them argue, Big Macintosh felt yet another trembling wave of excitement pass through him as the stallion turned to the side and started walking to a new stand. Unfortunately, the excitement was washed away by the torrent of disappointment that came splashing down onto him as he spotted the stallion’s Cutie Mark. Horseapples, t’ain’t him.

“Hey buddy, you gonna buy something or what?” Big Macintosh nearly jumped on top of the stand at the sudden intrusion of the shopkeeper’s voice into his search. As it was, he was jolted out of his trance and he looked up into the annoyed eyes of the stand’s owner. “You gonna buy some celery or are we gonna sit here all day ‘till you make up your mind?”

Big Macintosh cast a confused glance down to the mentioned vegetables, noting how pathetic some of the stalks looked in comparison to the ones that he had seen down the street and how their prices were even higher. “Nnnope.“ He stepped away from the sad, wilted leaves and shook his head, watching as the shopkeeper’s face grew darker.

“Then get out of here! You’re bothering my customers.” The farm pony looked around bemusedly, noting with a raised eyebrow at the fact that nopony else even cast a glance at the stand in question. “Go on, get!” Turning away blindly and smacking headlong into something slightly soft, Big Macintosh raised a snicker from the pony who had sent him away.

“Big Mac? What are you doing here?” The stallion whipped around, bringing himself face to face with the pony that he wanted to see the least of at the moment.

“Ah should ask you the same thing.” Cheerilee flinched backwards as if he had shouted, his voice coming off a lot ruder than he had meant it to be. Big Macintosh felt a rush of shame as the teacher stared at him with wounded eyes, and cleared his throat before speaking again in a much softer tone. “Ah mean, Ah’m just… uh… out shoppin’.” A few seconds of semi-silence followed his words, within which Cheerilee glanced over his body in search of the nonexistent shopping basket or a similar article.

Upon finding nothing, Cheerilee couldn’t hide her amusement. “Yeah, shopping. Okay, Big Macintosh Apple. If you say you’re shopping then you’re shopping.”

Pushing past the mare’s raised eyebrow and knowing smile, Big Macintosh plowed on. “What are you doin’ here?”

Cheerilee turned slightly to reveal her semi-worn saddlebags. “Shopping? Why else would I come to the market?” Walking past him towards the front of the stall, the teacher grabs a bundle of celery and tosses it into her saddlebags after throwing a few bits up onto the counter. Noticing Big Mac’s obvious expression at her purchase, she smiled and trotted close enough to whisper into his ear. “I have to have something to feed my hamsters, don’t I? It’s not like I’m going to eat this wrinkled stuff.” Cheerilee and Big Macintosh chuckled at the disgusted look the stand’s owner shot at them before sweeping the celery from the counter and slamming down a Closed sign onto the worn wood.

“So, Big Mac, what kind of things were you shopping for?” Cheerilee turned away and started off towards another of the many stalls that dotted the sides of the street. “Besides nearly wilted celery?”

Big Macintosh knew that he had no option in events and resigned himself to following the mare that would just drag him along somehow if he refused. “Uh, nothin’ special. Ah was just… uh… scoutin’ out the best place to set up our stand.” The stallion cursed himself as he looked around the marketplace, regretting his lack of ability to make up a quick lie.

Cheerilee followed his glance about the nearly full street that had absolutely no space for an apple stall. “Riiiight.” The mare rolled her eyes at the stallion’s deadpan face and giggled before turning her attention back to her shopping. “So how has your day been going, Big Mac?”

“Uh, what?” The words left his mouth with all the grace of a swan, minus the actual swan part.

“Two turnips please.” Cheerilee tossed a few bits onto the counter and turned back to her stallion escort with an amused expression on her face. “I asked you how your day has been.” Big Macintosh opened his mouth to answer but the only thing that came out from it was a loud grumble. “Um, excuse me, Big Mac?” The stallion turned an even deeper red as he shook his head and opened his mouth again to answer her, the words coming out as loud and almost dog-like growls. Cheerilee couldn’t suppress a giggle as the farm pony jammed his hooves into his mouth to stifle the earth-rumbling sounds.

Giggling again as the stallion threw her a helpless glance, Cheerilee walked over and grabbed his hoof. “All right, Big Mac, let’s go get you something to eat before you cause the Ponyville Earthquake Response Team to start running through the town again.”

“Big Mac?! Miss Cheerilee?!” The slightly less-accentuated voice of Big Macintosh’s younger sister, Applebloom, punctured the air with a fearful note. “What are you two doing out here together?”

“Oh nothing, Applebloom, we just ra-“ Cheerilee froze for a second as she spotted the other two crusaders slowly coming up to them, a large wagon in tow. “Well, we were going out to get some lunch together, that’s all.” To solidify the lie, she turned and winked very visibly in the direction of Big Macintosh, who had the sense enough to wink back. She could barely suppress the smile that was working to break through her mask of innocence, which when coupled with the laughter that was bubbling within her was nearly impossible task to accomplish. When she turned back to the filly, Cheerilee was pleased to see that the pony’s expression was one of disbelief and sheer terror.

The other two crusaders, still oblivious to their friend’s predicament, were still bickering back and forth. “I say that we use ten rockets each!” Cheerilee began trotting away happily, awaiting the results of her work with an attentive ear as she distanced herself and Big Macintosh away from the potentially ear damaging noise that was sure to erupt any second when her plan came into fruition.

“Ten is too much! Last time we only used two and we ended u-“

“Sweetie Belle, you worry too much. Applebloom here thinks ten is a good number too, right Applebloom?” A moment of silence passed, within which the other two crusaders looked around to see their third member staring at nothing in particular. “Uh, Applebloom?”

Sweetie Belle waved a hoof in front of the yellow pony’s eyes, putting on a minor pouting face when she didn’t get a reaction. “I think she’s in shock about something.” She looked to the bold pegasus of the trio for guidance, receiving only a shrug in return. “Well, I’ll just do what I saw Rarity do to Rainbow Dash when she was sleeping in the costume closet of the boutique.” The filly trotted off with the air of a pony on a mission, leaving the orange pegasus to stare at the frozen-in-place Applebloom.

“How on earth is she going to do that?” Scootaloo reached out with a hoof and poked Applebloom, watching with slightly suppressed laughter as the filly rocked back and forth like some sort of rocking chair. “She’s like a statue.” Suddenly she found herself with an answer to her metaphorical question, dripping with water that was flung from a bucket by Sweetie Belle. Recovering her wits, Scootaloo shook her whole body in a manner reminiscent of Winona before turning on the unicorn. “What did you do that for!?”

Sweetie Belle made a shushing gesture before trotting over to Applebloom, who was still staring off at nothing. “Even that didn’t work. What happened to her?!” She tossed the bucket down onto the ground, the loud clang seeming to snap the stunned pony into speaking, or rather stuttering.

“B-b-b-b-b-b-“

“She’s talking!” Scootaloo pushed past Sweetie and took the filly’s face into her hooves, staring intently into the shuddering eyes. “What is it, Applebloom?”

“B-Big Mac a-an Miss Ch-Ch-Cheerilee a-are-“

A few streets over, Cheerilee and Big Macinosh were slowly making their way over to the restaurant, sharing a small amount of laughter as they waited for the sound that indicated their impromptu plan had been a success. Needless to say, they didn’t have to wait long, the fillies’ signature scream blasting apart the sounds of anything else. ”Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

After recovering from her laughter, Cheerilee gently knocked her hoof against Big Mac’s shoulder and smiled. “Is that ever going to be unsatisfying?”

“Nnnope.” Big Macintosh let out another soft laugh. “Them fillies decided we should be together, Miss Cheerilee, an’ Ah’d hate to prove their judgement wrong, after all.” Big Macintosh threw his hoof good-naturedly around Cheerilee, the latter forcing herself to remember that it was simply a gesture of their friendship and nothing more. “Ah still cain’t believe that they made us drink love potion.”

Cheerilee returned the smile that Big Macintosh flashed her. “Not a love potion, a love poison. I read that book that Twilight gave those little fillies, after lecturing her about giving books like that to little ponies, especially ones like the Crusaders.” She shook her head bemusedly. “The book specifically stated that the potion turned out to be a poison, I guess they didn’t read past the first few lines of instructions to see what the potion even did.”

“Eeyup, that sounds like my little sister.” Big Macintosh shook his head almost regretfully. “Ah swear, you’d think that somepony didn’t teach her any better than to fool around with things ya don’t fully understand.” Chuckling to himself again, Big Macintosh looked over to one of the stands of the market, its table full of pots and pans along with a mare who was trying her best to look like she was eager to serve any customer that happened along. “Ah guess Applejack listened, that’s why she don’t do anythin’ involvin’ ‘fancy mathematics’ as she likes to call them.”

“Ah, we’re here!” Cheerilee slipped out from underneath Big Macintosh’s hoof so as to avoid being confused for a couple by an overzealous waiter/waitress. “Table for two please!”

After being seated by a nearly expressionless waiter, they both pick out what they want to eat within seconds, calling the stallion back over before he could make a full getaway. “Are you ready to order, madam?”

“Yes, I’d like a daisy sandwhich, please.”

“And you, sir?”

“Ah’d like me one of them apple salads ya’ll have here.” Big Macintosh ignored the waiter’s grimace at his accent, instead settling for setting his menu down firmly and smiling at the unsavory stallion. “Thank you kindly.” After the pony had left the two alone, a comfortable silence fell between them, leaving them to cast looks towards the other tables situated about the restaurant. That is, until Cheerilee broke it with a question.

“You know, there’s a big rumor around Ponyville that the Apple family almost always eats apples.” Big Macintosh looked at her with an expression that was a cross between confusion and amusement. Mentally slapping a hoof against her face, Cheerilee elaborated. “Is it true?”

“Eeyup.”

“What about the rumor of the trees being on top of dead ponies?”

“Eeyup. Us Apples always want to be buried underneath our favorite apple trees.” Big Macintosh’s eyes grew distant as he looked towards his past. “Ah remember exactly which trees my ma’ and pa’ are under.” The silence slowly shifted into a more uncomfortable area as the two ponies waited for the other to continue speaking, Cheerilee being the one who eventually broke the tangible quiet.

“What about the one about colt-cud- I mean, what about ponies who love other ponies of the same gender?” If Cheerilee had felt uncomfortable in the silence before, she felt downright unwelcome in the one that pressed down onto her very being as she waited fearfully for the stallion, whose face had grown slightly darker, to reply.

“Mah kin don’t approve of two mares or t-two stallion getting’ close to each other romantically or anythin’ like that.” Pausing for a moment, Big Macintosh took in a deep breath and braced himself for the inevitable surge of recollections that were sure to flow in. “Back when Ah was just a colt, my cousin’ Breaburn was caught one time out by the backside of his barn with another colt and his pa’ whipped him about fifty times.”

Cheerilee tentatively reached out to touch the stallion with a comforting hoof. “H-how do you know that he was whipped?”

Big Macintosh let the answer hang in the air like some great apple that had to be picked eventually lest it rot into uselessness. He glanced down at the apple-print tablecloth, playing with it in his hooves for what seemed like hours before he finally picked the metaphorical apple. “His pa’ did it in front of all the family during one of our annual reunions.”

They both fell silent as the waiter made his way over to them with their food, setting it down unceremoniously. “Your food, Madam and Sir. Enjoy your meal.” With as much gusto that he had arrived with, the stallion departed once again to leave the two ponies alone with their thoughts, except this time they had food to share some of their focus with.

Cheerilee lifted her sandwich and took a bite that would have put quite a few stallions’ teeth to shame. After carefully swallowing the food, she wiped a napkin across her mouth before tentatively breaking the silence that separated her from Big Mac. “Wh-what was it like? Watching one of your cousins getting wh-whipped by their father?”

“Well, like Ah said, Ah was only a little colt, just barely able to buck apple trees, about Appleblossom’s age.” Big Macintosh smiled at Cheerilee’s confused expression at the mention of his sister’s name. “It’s what Ah call Applebloom.” He reached down and snagged another bite of apples before continuing. “Anyway, Ah was spending some time with my cousin Orange Peel. She was always my favorite cousin, always tryin’ to get us into trouble. Faced it too, when we got caught. She never tried to get out of it by just blamin’ me. Course she never let me try to get out of it either.” He chuckled at certain memories that Cheerilee would never be able to see, the many different jokes and crazy plans of mischief replaying themselves in his mind.

After a few moments of thoughtful silence, the reminiscent smile faded from Big Macintosh’s face. “Well, after a bit of catchin’ up with each other we heard some shoutin’ come up from behind the barn. Normally there’s all kinds of shoutin’ comin’ from the family as they got to see ponies they hadn’t seen in what seemed like years.” Cheerilee reached out and touched Big Macintosh, who had fallen silent as his eyes grew even further away. “But this was a different kind of shoutin’. It was my cousin Breaburn.”


“No! Let. Me. Go!” Big Macintosh looked up to see his slightly younger cousin and friend being dragged up onto the wooden platform that Granny always used to announce things for the reunion. “I don’t wanna get whipped pa!” The colt tossed his head back and screamed in pain when the stallion who had a hold of him smacked him with a hoof. “Why are you doin’ this to me pa? I ain’t done nothin’ wrong! We were just playin’ a game!”

Big Macintosh froze when the stallion then uncaringly tossed the colt forward onto the wood. “Now git up there, boy. That wasn’t no game that you were playin’ with that other colt. You’ve got somethin’ in ya that needs to be fixed. Ain’t no other way but to whip it out of you.” The crowd that had assembled in front of the platform watched in a grim silence as the bullwhip was lifted to the sky and brought down with an air-splitting crack. The resounding scream was nearly unbearable to hear.

But it was only the first of many to cut through the mid-afternoon air.


“Back then, Ah didn’t know what his pa’ was shoutin’ to us about and Ah didn’t understand why nopony felt sorry for my cousin.” Big Macintosh finished off his apple salad with an absentminded bite, tasting the apples that now seemed almost bitter to him. “But now Ah sure as apples do.” They both sat there for a moment, Big Mac staring down at the remains of his food and Cheerilee looking at him helplessly. “Ah just wish Ah didn’t.”

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Big Mac.” Cheerilee’s hooves itched to move and not knowing what to do, eventually settling on touching the upset stallion. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s fine, Miss Cheerilee. You don’ have to say nothin’. Ah’m just glad you felt like listenin’.” Big Macintosh coughed before bringing up his tearful eyes and forcing a wavering smile. “Thanks for that. Listenin’, Ah mean.“ They both glanced about the restaurant and returned to looking at each other in a sort of awkward silence. “So how has my little Appleblossom be-“ He froze in place for a second before snapping back into action. “Thanks for the meal, Ah have to go now and… uh… do some more shoppin’.”

“Big Mac? What’s wrong?” Her question went unanswered as the stallion galloped to and around the corner that his gaze had been fixed upon. Cheerilee glanced past the running stallion to see the barest flick of a tail around its bend, a smile slowly lighting upon her face when she saw it.

Confessions, Classrooms and Love's True colors

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[}—–{ Lessons of Lost Love }–—{]

Confessions, Classrooms and Love’s True Colors


Cheerilee found herself doing something she had been doing quite often of late: sulking. If anypony had asked her what she was doing there in the classroom, she would have perked up and lied to their face, saying that she was only tidying up the mess that the fillies and colts create on a daily basis. Of course, she knew that it would have been a lie, and she knew that she was very much not cleaning up. In a manner that had been repeated many times over the past hour, Cheerilee took in a breath and let out a dejected sigh.

I wonder where Big Mac has been. Sighing again, the teacher idly shifted aside one of the desks that were just barely out of place, something that only a mare like Twilight Sparkle would even begin to notice. He hasn’t come by for a while now. The desk continued its journey back and forth between being too far one way or another from its destination, screeching across the wood as it did so. Sighing for the third time in about a minute, Cheerilee turned away from the desk which had now been moved within a nanometer of where it had originally been when it was first placed into the classroom.

Jumping up into the chair behind her teacher’s desk, Cheerilee bent down and rested her face against the cold wood, relishing in the relief that the coolness brought to her troubled mind. Of course, she wasn’t able to just simply remain still, her hooves reaching out to roll a pencil back and forth. She sat there for some time, content to simply play with the writing utensil until she suddenly jerked upwards and looked sadly at the thing in her hooves. “Is it because I tried to pry into his life?” The question hung in the air as the pencil simply sat there in her hooves, refusing to give her an answer.

With a frustrated grunt (or something of that nature), Cheerilee jolted out of her chair and tossed the pencil into the trashcan with equal ire. “Why can’t I ever have someone to talk to!?”

Because, her logical and somewhat cynical side said, you’re the teacher. You’re supposed to be the one with all the answers. Cheerilee couldn’t help but to huff out another breath at the truth that she couldn’t fight, because she knew it was true. She snagged the apple that Applebloom had brought from her farm that day, looking wistfully at its red skin. It was another Big Macintosh apple, shining like the coat of the stallion who shared its name. After a moment of quiet contemplation, she took a large bite that sent the resounding crunch that is often associated with biting into a fresh apple echoing through the room.

Just as she had sent the apple core sailing into the air to follow the way of the pencil that she had condemned to a fate of rotting away at some dump, the sound of hooves at the door filled the room. They weren’t heavy, nor were they very loud, yet in the wondering silence that had enveloped Cheerilee they seemed like the thundering hooves that had trampled along the forest path in the Running of the Leaves.

For a moment, she contemplated simply doing nothing; allowing whoever was knocking to simply assume that she wasn’t there and leave. At least, she did until another set of knocks came, followed by a soft voice; a voice that she knew fairly well. “Miss Cheerilee, are you in there?” After a breath to calm herself as well as to bring out her ‘cheerful teacher’ face, Cheerilee began to make her way over to the door. The dark brown wood swung away to reveal the crimson face of a stallion.

“Why, hello Big Mac!” Silence was the only thing that greeted her words as she smiled at the farm pony, who did nothing but look at her still. After a few seconds, something clicked. Big Macintosh didn’t look like the stallion that he usually was; where he held himself up he was now sagging down, as if the weight of a thousand apple carts were pressing onto his back. The once sturdy legs of corded muscle trembled with the same emotion that shone in the stallion’s eyes: fear. “Big Mac? What’s wrong?”

Her only answer was a shake of his crimson head and a helpless look past her into the classroom. A wave of worry washing through her, Cheerilee led the stallion into the empty room and sat him down in her chair, pulling up a smaller chair for herself as she stared at the stallion with concern. As soon as she opened her mouth, a red hoof shot into the air and cut her off. “Miss Cheerilee.” Big Macintosh spoke slowly, as if he was having trouble finding his words. “Ah’m needin’ some advice from somepony an’ Ah don’t know who Ah can take this to but you.” The tremble in the stallion’s breath sent another wave of concern and fear crashing through Cheerilee’s body as he took a deep breath before continuing. “What exactly happened between you an’ Mister Rich?”

When she remained silent, the stallion looked at her with those damned pleading eyes again. Seeing those great emeralds enveloped in pain sent two shards of pain deep into her own heart, seeing a stallion as strong and sure as Big Macintosh being made to be like this. “What Ah mean to ask is, how did it end?” He didn’t have to specify what “it” was.

“Big Mac, what’s wrong?” The repeated question remained hanging in the air as the stallion shook his head, looking as if he was on the verge of tears. Cheerilee herself took in a shaky breath as she prepared to delve into the most unpleasant memory that she had ever had the displeasure to relive; something that she found herself doing from time to time despite how much pain it brought her. “Well, the beginning of the end, as you could say, was towards the end of the school year. I had been eating lunch with some of my friends.”


Cheerilee plopped her tray down onto the table, letting out a small grunt as she herself followed it down, except onto the long bench that ran parallel with it instead. “Hi girls!” She made herself sound cheerful despite how perfectly awful she felt on the inside, receiving a whole chorus of greetings in return. Looking down at today’s fare, she was greeted with another thing, the sight of the slop that the school continually tried to pass off as food despite the numerous complaints from the students. Normally she didn’t eat at the school but rather went out with her coltfriend to get something to eat, but that would have meant that she’d have to see him more than she was strictly required to.

And so she swallowed the bile that was attempting to force its way out of her mouth, Cheerilee scooped up a spoonful of the muck and shoved it into her mouth, fighting back tears that came rushing up at the completely awful taste of the school’s food. “So, Cheerilee,” the voice of one of her friends pulled her away from the agony of her taste buds long enough for her to swallow, “why aren’t you with your precious ‘Richey’?”

A rush of anger was quickly put down as she simply smiled. “Because, I wanted to be with you guys is all.” Scooping up another bite of food for cover (and instantly regretting it), she let out a giggle. “I don’t have to be with him all the time, I mean I do have other friends, right?”

“Of course you do!” The stallion beside her threw his hoof over her shoulder and laughed good naturedly. “Glad to have you back around, Cherry, been kind of gloomy without you here.” Cheerilee blushed at the use of her old nickname, returning all of the smiles from the friends that she had been neglecting for ages but who were welcoming her back into their fold as if she had just been gone for a day.

The smile was wiped away when the door slammed open and a coarse voice rang out over the cafeteria. “Cheerilee?!” The brown stallion with a slicked-back mane stomped over to her and pulled her roughly out of the other pony’s grasp. “What are you doing here with them? Why weren’t you with me? And more importantly, why did he have his hooves around you?!” Cheerilee opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped by another flurry of words. “You know what, it doesn’t even matter. You’re coming with me.” Cheerilee glanced back at her friends as her colt friend dragged her away from the table, every single one of them having either pity for her or anger at Filthy Rich burning in their eyes.

Something inside of her snapped. She pulled her hoof away from the stallion that was dragging her out of her own life. “No.”

Then she found herself looking towards the cafeteria wall that was on her right, her vision swimming with little black dots. Then it hit her, Filthy had slapped her. The thing that had snapped inside of her now splintered into a thousand shards of rage as she turned back to the pony who had been nothing but misery to her for the past few months. “I. Said. No.” Then, she reared back and punched him right in his rich-boy face. Looking down at the stallion who was clutching at his nose, she couldn’t feel any pity, only regret for the time that she had wasted by thinking he had been her love. Then a rush of happiness and excitement flowed through her, starting at the hooves but working its way up into her throat as she spoke the words that she had never thought she would have ever said.

“We’re over, Filthy. Stay out of my life.”


“After he crossed that line, there wasn’t any forgiveness. I left his sorry rump on that cold ground with blood gushing down his face as I turned away from the life of oppressive ‘love’ and into the world of being single.” Cheerilee shook her head and snorted bitterly. Silence hung over the two ponies as they sat in the semi-darkness of the classroom, the kind of silence that follows a particularly interesting story, the sort of stunned silence that you had finally reached the end of whatever tale you had been reading.

The seconds stretched into minutes before Cheerilee broke the silence into millions of glimmering shards of nothing. “Big Mac? What’s wrong? I can’t help y-“ Then, before her very eyes, the strong and stalwart stallion broke. He did not just fall down and cry. No, he broke like a twig that was dug too hard into the ground. One second had passed as he made the transformation between shaky calm into helpless sobs. Reacting in a way that she had done for many saddened colts and fillies that had entered her classroom, Cheerilee pulled the shaking pony into a warm hug and brushed her hoof through his sandy mane. “Shhh, my little pony. It will be all right. Shhh.” Despite her feeling ridiculous at comforting a pony who was at least twice her size, Cheerilee soon felt the shuddering soften into small shivers and eventually into nothing but deep breathing.

As he pulled away, Big Macintosh gave her a sheepish smile. “Ah’m sorry, it’s just…” he teetered on the edge of tears again as whatever was worrying him threatened to overcome his tentative calm once again. After a steadying breath, he continued. “Ah’m worried is all. Ah was just at the market again, an’ Ah saw… him again. Ah just couldn’t stop myself and Ah asked him if he wanted to go out and get some supper with me.”

“Well, that’s good then!” Cheerilee smiled at the stallion, but only received a frantic head shake in return.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Miss Cheerilee.” Big Macintosh had to force himself to take another deep breath before he broke down again. His calmness somewhat restored, he made another attempt to venture into the realm of his worries. “Ah just… Ah think that my family would cast me out. Ah’d probably get run out of town by my own family if they found out. An’ what about him? How would he feel about havin’ to hide it? Or if we didn’t, how would he feel about havin’ my kin attackin’ us just for who we love?” The calm that the stallion had regained was beginning to tremble. “Ah just don’t know what Ah should do anymore!” With that, the calm shattered and he was a scared, helpless pony who was in over his head again. The tears barely had time to make their way to the surface before Cheerilee pulled him into yet another hug.

They sat there for what seemed like hours, oblivious to every tick that passed through the room. The wind gusted against the windows and rattled the shutters, sending a few resounding clacks to shatter the silence that surrounded the two ponies. “Big Mac?” Cheerilee’s voice seemed even softer than it would have normally, contrasting against the noise of wood against brick.

“Eeyup?”

“You know, there’s something I learned about love when I was with Filthy.” Cheerilee smiled at the stallion as he pulled back to shoot her a confused look. “Well, something more important than any of the other things.” She stood and made her way over to the window, shutting the noisy shutters with a snap. The silence only lasted for a few seconds until Cheerilee broke it again. “I learned that even though our relationship had its troubles, more than any pony should have to go through, there was still something good about it. It was love, even though I was blind to truth, it was still love.” The view of the field outside of the window wavered as Cheerilee’s eyes grew misty.

“What do you mean, Miss Cheerilee?”

“I mean that even though being with him brought me pain, I still also wanted to be with him, because having somepony else in the world who loves you is one of the greatest feelings in Equestria.” The first tear fell from her face, gently wetting the windowsill. “I didn’t care about what my family or my friends thought of me, because they couldn’t tell me what to feel or how to feel it. They weren’t me.” More tears slowly made their way down her cheeks as she lifted a hoof to wipe them away, constantly being replaced by others that rushed to flow forth with the pain that throbbed from the old wound in her heart. “But even though it was good, it also brought me pain.”

“What do you think Ah should do, Miss Cheerilee?”

She turned around, blinking away the rest of the tears and smiling at the worried-looking stallion in the chair before her. “I think it’s up to you to weigh the risks that you see and choose for yourself. Only you can tell yourself how you feel.” Cheerilee let out a weak chuckle before turning away to wipe off the tears that she had been unable to blink out of existence.

Big Macintosh didn’t let her go far before he grabbed her with a hoof and swung her into a comforting hug. “Thank you, Miss Cheerilee. Ah’m ready to do what Ah need to do now.” Releasing the teacher from the prison of his strong hooves, he turned away and pushed open the door. Before he stepped out into the late-afternoon light, he glanced back at the mare that was still standing right where he had released her. “Thank you kindly, Miss Cheerilee. Ah’ll be seein’ you around.”

After the door clicked shut, Cheerilee found herself with the warm feeling that always came from teaching somepony else. “No. Thank you, Big Mac.” Even now, she felt the pain of the past receding into the corners of her mind, much less than before now that she had shared it with somepony else. “Thank you for everything.”

A bird’s tweeting sweetened the air as she sighed with contentedness. Only one thing left to do. Cheerilee turned and trotted behind her desk, reaching into the topmost drawer and drawing out a little pink journal. Once her hoof brushed against it, she was greeted again with the sweet, and not-so-sweet, memories of her ventures into other pony’s lives. As she opened its aged covers, she was greeted with the old words that she had scrawled along its pages.

Mayor Mare – FAILURE She recalled with a smile the horribly awkward mare that had come to her for romance lessons. “She never did like to give up. It took about five months before she stopped pestering me.” Her words hung in the empty room as she turned the page.

Carrot Cake – SUCCESS Another smile crossed her face as she remembered the even more awkward stallion that had come to her with questions regarding catching the eye of a pony that you had a crush on. “I still don’t know how he got past that affair that Cupcake had with that stallion from Fillydelphia. I guess he always was the loyal and forgiving one.” Cheerilee suppressed a sigh as she turned to one of the pages in the back of the book, one that was clean and as white as freshly fallen snow. Bending down to retrieve the pencil that she had previously cast away to the realm of garbage, she softly jotted down another entry.

Big Macintosh Apple – ?