Fetes-R-Us
Rarity and Spike lay panting in bed. They had just finished having some of the most revolting sex you can possibly imagine and now lay together, covered in a mixture of sweat and dried fecal matter along with an assortment of foodstuffs. Rarity had some weird fetishes, but Spike was more than eager to please. Besides, he'd spent enough time living with Twilight Sparkle to know a thing or two about weird fetishes. Let's just say she uses those inkwells and quills for more than just writing.
After slowing his frantically beating heart, Spike finally reached down to remove the used condom. As he grasped the latex with his tiny claws, he immediately knew something was very wrong. His eyes shot open and his miniscule dragon-brain-meat went into overdrive trying to figure out what he was feeling. After a few prolonged moments of confusion, his head shot up and he gazed upon the desecrated condom, instantly seeing the problem. There was a large hole in the tip. Clearly his sharpened dragon-dick and hot-lava-like cum were too much for the flimsy thing.
His gasp of shock was enough to snap Rarity out of her blissful half-asleep state, and she looked over to see what the problem was. She instantly spotted the broken condom and put two and two together with her comparatively larger unicorn brain. Normally, a situation like this would call for a scream of shock, especially from a pony as up-tight as Rarity, and she was about to do just that, but the scream was caught in her throat and was instead replaced by a pained moan as she clutched her tummy.
She could already feel the babies forming in her little pony vagina, and they weren't being very subtle about it either. They were moving around more than Carmen Sandiego down there, and, needless to say, it was very uncomfortable. She groaned in pain again as the writhing mass of stem cells continuously pounded against her uterus walls. They were really tearing the place apart and, no doubt, by the time they were done her vagina would look worse than the aftermath of one of Pinkie Pie's parties.
Spike was at her side in an instant, trying to comfort her. This was partially his fault, after all. He knew he should have bought the obsidian condoms instead! Rarity appreciated the gesture, but now was the time for action. There's no way she could let these horrible half-pony half-dragon spawn erupt from her snatch! Having to take care of a brood of abominations would no doubt considerably cut into her free time. She already had her daughter, Sweetie Belle, to look after. And that's not even considering all the horrible rumors and talk that would go around. She would be the laughing stock of all of Ponyville! No one would ever want to buy her dresses again!
Not to mention, Spike is only like ten years-old, so this was also illegal and Rarity would likely be charged with pedophilia and imprisoned for countless years. Needless to say, something had to be done. The horrible things had to be killed!
"Spike!" She gasped out. "We have to destroy the babies before it's too late!"
Spike recoiled in horror. These were his babies she was talking about killing! "Wha-what?!" He asked intelligently.
"They have no place in this world! They must be purged!" She told him, the conviction in her voice making it quite clear that there would be no arguing the point.
Spike gulped, nervous beyond belief, before nodding his head. He really didn't want to do this, but he'd do anything for Rarity. "What do you want me to do?"
Rarity looked around the room, before her eyes stopped on the open closet. "Grab one of those clothes hangers, darling. We're going to scramble my eggs."
Any normal being would have been immediately turned off by this, but not Spike. Scrambling eggs is his fetish. Besides, this is hardly the weirdest thing him and Rarity had done. Not even close. He skipped over to the closet excitedly, eager to get to work, and selected a thin metal hanger that would do nicely. "Now what?" He asked.
Thankfully, Rarity is an expert. She'd given herself more abortions than she cared to count. "Just unwind it until it's straight and then shove it in." Rarity then laid her head back on the pillow, letting Spike work on bending the hanger into a tool of death as she attempted to ignore the pain in her no-no-zone.
After a few minutes, she grew confused. Spike should have been done by now. It didn't take nearly this long to kill a fetus. She would know. With a bit of effort, she moved her head up enough to see the room, only to find Spike sprawled face-first on the ground.
She instantly leapt to her hooves, wanting to make sure that her little 'Spikey Wikey' was all right. She tried to check his pulse with a hoof, but couldn't find it. By the looks of it, he was already dead...
Then she remembered something very important about dragon mating that she had somehow overlooked in her lust. When the male dragon finally spreads its seed into the female dragon, it dies in horrible agony as all its organs shut down. The female dragon then ingests the body for sustenance.
Seeing no reason not to, as a lady never wastes food, Rarity promptly went to work devouring the body. She even went so far as to crush the bones with her teeth and suck the marrow out. After finishing, she wiped some blood off her face with a napkin before reclaiming her spot on the bed.
She laid there for a few minutes, trying to ignore the fetuses' constant wiggling, until she remembered how dragons give birth. Once the babies are done forming, they tear their way out of the mother, devouring her skin with a prejudice only babies can show.
Rarity paled. Quite a feet considering her snow-white coat. As horrified as she was of Spike dying, she was even more horrified of having a bunch of baby dragon-pony hybrids eat her out. And not in the good way either!
She finally let loose a scream as she magically pulled the hanger from the pile of broken bones and blood that constituted Spike's remains and plunged it into her lady parts in an attempt to stop the baby incursion. She didn't hold back as she went to town on the little bastards, attempting to stir their brains up with the metal rod. Unfortunately, Rarity soon learned that dragon fetuses are far more resilient than that of a pony, and after over a minute of trying to slaughter her unborn children, she could still feel them moving around.
Finally, she pulled the hanger out to see what the problem was and found that it was broken and bent, and the end looked to be completely chewed off. She tossed the thing aside in a mixture of frustration and fear. How could a fetus possibly stand up to a clothes hanger?! This completely went against the natural order!
Despite her failure, Rarity knew she couldn't just give up. There had to be a way to murder these little shits. She walked around her house, going through drawers in search of something to do the trick, when she remembered about the abortion clinic just down the street. That place stayed open almost all the time!
She would have likely broken out in a joyous dance at the revelation had the situation been any less dire. Instead, she hobbled out the door, doing her best to walk with the constant pain in her lady parts. Thankfully, it was getting pretty late, so there weren't any ponies out to see her at the moment.
The abortion clinic wasn't far away, and she got there in record time. Assuming the previous record was held by a really slow thing, that is. She sauntered her way inside, too focused on the pain in her tummy rumpler to care about how weird this was, and made her way to the front desk.
"I need one of your finest abortions, stat!" She called out, not even bothering with useless formalities.
Her reply came in the form of a very high-pitched voice that sounded vaguely familiar. "Hiya Rarity!" She looked up to see none other than her friend, Pinkie Pie, staring at her with that face-engulfing smile she always wore.
"Pinkie Pie?" She asked in confusion, "what are you doing here?"
"I work here, silly!"
"I thought you work at the Cake's bakery."
"I do!" Pinkie shot back in her usual overly-excited voice. The deadpanned stare she received from Rarity prompted her to explain. "I work there during the day, but at night I run this abortion clinic."
This only added to Rarity's confusion, and she set aside her abortion needs for a moment to get to the bottom of this. "If you work here at night, when do you sleep?"
Pinkie just responded with a confused stare of her own, clearly unfamiliar with the term 'sleep'. After a minute, she continued, avoiding her friend's weird question. "Anyway, I run this clinic during the night. I have been for a few years."
"Why do you run an abortion clinic in the first place? I thought your special talent was parties." Said the naive Rarity.
"Oh Rarity," Said Pinkie Pie while ruffling her friend's perfectly styled mane with a hoof, "nothing poops a party faster than an unwanted baby." Her logic was foolproof, and Rarity decided that any other questions could wait for the time being. She had more important things to deal with at the moment.
"Alright, Darling. I'd love to talk about this all day, but I have some fetuses that I really need to get rid of."
Pinkie's normally playful attitude turned serious and she gave a mock salute. "Don't worry, Rarity. I'll get rid of those suckers. Just follow me into my office." She got up and walked through a door to the side of the counter with Rarity in tow.
Once inside the 'office', Rarity couldn't keep her jaw from dropping as she looked around. The middle of the room was dominated by a large metal table covered in an assortment of leather and metal straps above which hung a lamp from the ceiling. The side wall as well as several stands around the room were covered in an array of what looked like medieval torture devices, medical items, and even some random kitchen appliances. There was even a rack with a collection of different sized hypodermic needles, the largest of which was longer than her foreleg. On the back wall was a shelf with rows of jars full of what looked like alligator fetuses. The stench of decay was heavy in the air, and Rarity's massive eyes picked out a few blood stains on the floor that hadn't been cleaned up.
"Ummm. What's all this?" She asked once she reclaimed control of her mouth.
Pinkie looked around, not sure what her friend was talking about. "The abortion room... Duh..."
"But what's with all the... Weird tools... And why do you have alligator fetuses in a jar? Do you abort alligator's here too?!" Rarity knew time was of the essence, but these were questions that needed to be asked.
"I abort a lot of weird things. You wouldn't believe some of the weird shit that ponies have sex with. Just the other day, I removed a huge insect larvae from Berry Punch... These tools are necessary. And the alligators are from me." She answered as though it was the most normal thing in the world. At least that explains where Gummy came from...
Under normal circumstances. Rarity would have never come to a clinic this filthy and creepy, but she was desperate. She went forward and hopped up onto the metal table, eager to get this over with. "Alright, darling. Just be gentle when removing them. They're surprisingly resilient."
Pinkie nodded her head in confirmation. 'Gentle' is her middle name. "So what kind of fetus am I removing here?" She asked, pulling out a clipboard and filling out some paperwork with a pen she held in one hoof using her super earth pony magic.
"Dragon..." Rarity responded in embarrassment.
Pinkie's reaction was completely unexpected. She instantly threw the clipboard into the air as she gasped in horror. "A dragon!" Clearly this was cause for alarm. She ran over to the wall and pulled down a lever, causing red spinning lights to lower from the ceiling and a siren to blair. "Code red! Code red everypony!" She called out to no one as she scrambled around the room, examining all her murder utensils.
Suddenly the door flew open as none other than Barack Obama, wearing surgeon's scrubs, rushed in. "What's going on in here!?"
Pinkie didn't even look up as she searched the shelfs for a suitable tool. "Dragon!" She called out.
Barack recoiled in shock, but quickly composed himself. He was a professional, and he'd seen some serious shit in his many years of working at the clinic. He pulled his face mask on and put on a pair of latex gloves, ready for things to get messy.
After a matter of seconds, Pinkie came back to the table, now wielding what looked like a chainsaw in her hooves. "Alright, I found it!"
Rarity looked on in horror. The last thing she wanted was a chainsaw going into her vagina! "Wha-what's going on?!" She yelled out.
Pinkie Pie looked her directly in the eyes, showing a seriousness that Rarity wasn't used to from her friend, before speaking very slowly in a level tone. "We need to remove those dragon fetuses right now. A chainsaw is the only thing powerful enough to destroy them. Don't worry, I'm a professional. I won't let anything happen to you."
Despite her fear, Rarity knew she was in good hooves. Besides, she was really desperate so she had no other choice. She simply nodded to let Pinkie know she was ready to begin the operation.
"Alright, just lay down on the table and open your mouth," instructed Pinkie. In case you didn't know, pony genitals are in their mouths. It's totally canon. You sick fucks have stared at enough pony plot in the show to know that there's nothing down there. With that said, Pinkie Pie picked up the chainsaw and revved it up before inching it towards Rarity's mouth vagina.
Her assistant, Obama, stood by, ready to help in case something went horribly wrong. Thankfully, Pinkie Pie is an expert, and in all her years of aborting, she had only ever lost a few patients. She shoved the spinning chainsaw into her friend's throat using precise movements to avoid tearing into the delicate, fleshy walls. Once she was confident, she pushed the chainsaw deeper, all the way into Rarity's stomach/uterus. There was a sickening gurgling sound as the bladed teeth of the saw sliced through the fetuses without remorse.
They let loose one final death shriek as they were shredded into countless pieces. After a few moments, Pinkie was confident that she had successfully destroyed the little bastards, and pulled the chainsaw out, happy that she had completed yet another flawless procedure.
Rarity smiled in joy, no longer feeling the pain in her tummy. "Thank you very much, Pinkie Pie. I don't know what I would have done without you."
Pinkie smiled back, pulling a piece of paper out of nowhere and hoofing it over. "Don't thank me just yet. Here's your bill."
Rarity's eyes shot open in shock as she looked at all the numbers. The bill was so grossly large, she couldn't help but vomit the mutilated remains of her fetuses and Spike all over the floor.
And they all lived happily ever after. The end.