Have you ever wanted to know more about the bronies from LTD?Well then, its time for some interviews
Have you ever wanted to know more about the bronies and characters from 'Living the Dream'? Have you ever wanted to know more about Lance's life before the rapture? Have you ever wanted to know what happened to Cody during his year of living on the streets of New York? Well look no further! Because we here at 'The dirty truth!' are going to be interview everyone of them, all for you! They will be answering your questions! That's right, we said YOUR questions. A side project from my story, 'Living the Dream'.
After much thought, I have decided to do this. This entire story will be dedicated to interviewing the characters from my story. But I'm not going to be the one who comes up with the questions. Read on to find out how this entire story will work. And yes, I will be doing the interview in first person, it makes it easier for all of us.
Well, hello everypony. Welcome to the new talk show, 'The dirty truth!' We are going to be interview the bronies of that popular story, 'Living the dream'.
Each episode will have one of the characters answering the questions you want answered. But, there's a catch. We are not going to be the ones who come up with the questions, oh no. We are going to let you, the viewer, ask the questions!
This is how its going to work: We will announce the week before the episode airs, which character will be on it. Meaning, we will let you know ahead of time who's going to be our next guest. Now, here's what we want you, the viewer, to do. Just send us a letter (Leave a comment or message me) telling us what question you want that character to answer. It can be about anything, anything at all. You can ask as many questions as you want.
We will then write those questions down and during the interview, we will ask each and every question. The character will then answer the question to the best of their ability.
For this to work, we are going to need you the viewers to help us. All you have to do is send in those questions. Just remember to check and see who is appearing that week.
Now, its time we introduce the interviewer, the one who is going to be asking all the questions. He is the face of our show, he is the pony who always gets the answer he wants! He is... Vestal!
We will now turn this over to him, he may have a few things to say.
Attention now shift's over to Vestal
I smiled and let out a small chuckled, "You see that handsome stallion above? That is me, don't I look irresistible?"
The announcer glares at me, "Vestal, stay on subject please!"
I wave him off, "Yeah yeah, I will." I clap my hooves together, "Alright then, I do have a few things I would like to say. During each interview, I will ask all the questions. Don't worry, I can get the answers, I'm very persuasive. I will be do my best to make this show as interesting as possible. Oh wait, it already is, because I'm in it!"
The announcer sighs, "Okay, that's enough, attention back on me please."
I held up a hoof, "Oh no, not yet, you haven't introduced the second interviewer."
Again, the announcer sighs, "Vestal, we already told you he quit due to your... attitude."
I chuckled and clapped my hoofs together, "Don't worry folks, I'll get him to come back. Wait, attitude? I don't have a attitude!"
"We'll talk about that when we're off the air."
I stood up, "Oh no, we're talking right now."
"Please Vestal, sit back down. We have to finish announcing the show."
I crossed my hooves and fell back in the chair, "Fine, finish up."
The announcer nodded in approval, "Now attention back on my please."
Attention is shifted back over to the announcer
Like we said before, just send in all of your questions, and we'll get the characters to answer them on the show. We hope for this season to be the best, since it is our first season.
Now, to announce next weeks guest.
On our next episode, we are going to be interview the infamous, Cody Benson! He has a bad temper and can be pretty hostile from time to time. So keep your questions nice please, as we don't want our interviewer Vestal to be hurt.
Well, since Vestal is the interviewer, ask any question you want.
Time to bring this to a close. Time for a recap.
Remember, our first guest is going to be Cody Benson, so keep all questions aimed at him. Just leave all of your questions in the comments below. (Or send them to me.)
This concludes our show for the day. Goodnight everypony, we hope to see you all on our next showing.
Welcome everypony to the first episode of 'The dirty truth!'. I am your announcer, Little Mic.
Today, we are going to be interviewing the infamous Cody Benson.
Due to his violent background, we have fifteen Royal Guards on stand by. Hopefully we won't need them.
Vestal, our interviewer, will be asking Cody a series of questions sent to us by our viewers. Now, without further ado, we will begin.
Attention now shift's over to Vestal
I give a small wave and turn to Cody, who is sitting in the chair across from me, "So Cody, you ready to begin?"
Cody shrugs and puts on a awkward smile, "I guess."
I nod and pick up the list of questions, "Wow, that's a lot of questions!" I chuckle and look up at Cody, "Alright Cody, we have the questions split up into two categories, the easy questions and the hard questions. Which would you like us to start with?"
Cody raised a hoof to his chin, "Easy."
I smile and look at the first question on the list, "How old are you?"
"I'm eighteen." Cody replied.
"Next question: Who's your favorite pony?"
Cody raises a eyebrow, "You do know that I'm not a brony right?"
I sighed, "I do now. Now, answer the question... please."
Cody thought for a second, "Well, since I've been here, I've met a lot of nice ponies. I wish I would have been nicer to most of them. As for my favorite pony, I would have to say... What was her name? Oh yeah, Berry Punch.. I think that's her name."
I raised a eyebrow, "Why is she your favorite?"
He chuckled, "Well, she's been the nicest to me since Hearth's Warming eve."
I shrugged, "Okay, moving on. Do you like roofies?"
"I have no idea what that is." Cody said scratching the back of his head.
I rubbed my chin, "Huh, neither do I. I guess we'll move on. This is a weird question: What conditioner do you use?"
Cody held back a laugh, "I use any I can get, but I do prefer Suave for men."
I shrugged, "I haven't heard of that brand. Anyways, next question: Do you like bananas?"
Cody looked at me strangely, "Yes, I like them to an extent."
I read the next part of the question and laughed, "So you are a beyitch, that likes bananas? Well that's great, cuz you're gonna go bananas, ON DA MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNN-AAAHHH! BEEYITCH!!!"
He looked at me strangely, "What? I don't get it."
I chuckled, "It was part of the question, moving on." I looked at the next question, "Finally, a question worth asking. Do I look handsome today?"
"Huh, I guess." He said while looking every where but me.
I let out a laugh, "Next question... Well, this is an awkward question. Cody, are you a virgin?"
His cheeks flared up, "Do I have to answer that?"
I smiled weakly, "Afraid so."
He let out a deep sigh, "Yes."
Urge to laugh rising, "Uhhh... Okay then, time to move on. What do you think about Zecora?"
He gave a shrug, "I met her awhile back, after Hearth's Warmth eve, she is pretty nice. Her way of talking is annoying, but I got use to it."
I looked at the next question and became worried, "I hate this next one. Would you kill or at least cause serious harm to vestal for a klondike bar?"
He smirked, "For a Klondike bar? Hell yes!"
Okay, time for the Royal Guard.
Cody started to laugh, "Don't worry, I was only joking."
I relaxed, "Oh, that's good. Next question: What was your reaction when you found out the world you followed Lance to was Equestria?"
Cody put a hoof to his chin, "I was pretty freaked out. I mean, talking ponies? Kinda blew me away that a guy would come here on his own free well. But, the place has grown on me. Its helped me become the guy you see today."
Nice answer, "How's life in a dungeon?"
He sighed, "All I'm going to say is, don't get sent there. Its so small and cramp. You can't even move your legs."
"Sounds terrible. On to the next question: Any news on a court hearing or any sort of trial?"
He shook his head, "As far as I know, no."
That worries me, our monarch needs to start taking things a little more serious, "Well, that's good for you. Next question: Have you always been like this when someone wronged you?"
He furrows a eyebrow, "Never, just Lance. I don't know why though."
Okay then, I was hopping for more info, "Where have you been hiding since Hearth's warming eve?"
He looked at me weirdly, "Hiding? I haven't been hiding. I've been traveling through Equestria, helping all the ponies that need it."
Wow, it sounds like hes a saint, I don't believe it. Not just yet, "Okay then. Why did you chose to follow Lance, instead of going where your family went?"
He hung his head, "Revenge. That's the only reason, and I hate that reason. Why couldn't I have let it go and went to where my father was?"
I looked over to him, "Sounds like you regret that decision."
He nodded, "I do. Can we please move on?"
I exhaled and looked at the list, "Has your search for revenge against Lance finally come to a close?"
He looked up at me and nodded, "Yes, I've changed. I don't see him as the killer of my family anymore."
That's good to hear, "Have you trained in any form of martial arts, or are you just naturally bad-ass?"
He chuckled, "I lived on the streets of New York City for a whole year, I learned how to defend myself. So, I guess naturally bad-ass."
I let a smile form on my face, "What did you do before coming to Equestria, except searching for Lance?"
He looked up, deep in though, "Well, I use to work for my uncle. He owned a factory in Cuba. It made all sorts of things, mostly coffee and medical products. It was a fun job, since I got to work one of the machines. I just wish I had flown back there instead of tearing up my ticket and pursuing Lance."
I give a small shrug, "I worked in a factory once, not a fun job. Anyways, on to the next one: How do you think your life would have been if the mugging hadn't occurred? Do you think you could have been friends with Lance?"
He looked down again and rubbed his hoofs together, "If that mugging hadn't happened, I would have flown back to Cuba and gave my father the money to pay off his dept. After that, I guess I would have went back to my uncles factory. Maybe meet a nice girl and start a family." A tear formed in his eye, but was quickly removed, "As for being friends with Lance, I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't have even met him if it wasn't for the mugging. Now that I think about it and what Lance is like, I think we could have been friends."
I smiled, "Nice answer, ready for the next one?"
He nodded, "Sure."
I looked at the list and laughed, "Really? Somepony asked this? Cody, how much are they paying you to be on the talk-show?"
Cody let out a small laugh, "I wish I was being payed. All they're giving me is a plaque that says, 'I was on The dirty truth! and survived.'."
I held my stomach laughing, "Hey, those plaques cost a lot to make you know."
The announcer, Little Mic, leaned his head next to me, "Get back on track Vestal!"
I chuckled, "Sure thing Micky."
He glared, "Its Mic!" He then walked back to his area.
I looked over to Cody, a smile still on my face, "Well, last one on the easy list. Cody, what do you plan to do with your life now?"
He furrowed his eyebrows, "Huh, I don't really know. I guess I'll just keep doing what I've been doing. Traveling and helping others."
I put down the list and picked up the second one, "Okay Cody, the next ones deal with all the bad things you've done. You ready?"
He gulped, "Ready."
I looked at the list, "Do you ever regret trying to kill Lance?"
Cody nodded, "Yes, I do. I hate myself for it."
I licked my lips, which had become dry, "Why did you fully blame Lance for losing the money. Lance isn't the one who stole the money, the guy attacking him did. Did you blame that guy in anyway?"
Cody looked uneasy and nervous, "Huh, I don't know. I just felt like I needed someone to blame, and I didn't know the muggers name or anything about him. I knew Lance's name and what he looked like, so I guess I just chose him because it was easier. I do blame that guy, I wish I had went after him instead."
Why does everything feel awkward all of a sudden? "Well, I see where your coming from, but I just don't see the full reason why you wanted to kill Lance."
Cody waved his hoof at me, "Next question please."
I rolled my eyes, glad to have my shades on, "Alright, next question: Did you ever find your mugger?"
He shook his head, "No, I never even looked for him. I spent all my time looking for Lance."
That doesn't make sense, "Can't you and Lance just be friends and not try to kill him?"
Cody raised an eyebrow, "We are friends, well sorta. We talk from time to time, but only if I pass through town."
I did not expect that, why the buck would Lance want to be friends with Cody after all that? "Well, that's good to know. Next question: What was your family like before they died?"
Cody teared up slightly, "My mother died when I was born, so I didn't know her. I only had my father. He was a nice man, always helping others when he could. He would always take me around the Island, talking about one day moving to America. I loved him, he was the greatest father a kid could as for."
Hold back tears! Hold back tears! Okay good, tears held back. "Can you describe what happened to your father?"
He took a ragged breath, "Not really, I wasn't there. All I know is what my uncle told me over the phone. My father had been shot in the head one night while leaving his store. That's what happens when you owe a greedy man, he will kill you just because he can."
This.. this is dark. "Okay, moving on."
Cody smiled weakly, "Thank you."
I looked at the next question, "I wouldn't be thanking me just yet. Next question: So let's take it as you managed to kill Lance, and have the police chasing after you, and having to hide from an angry brother thirsty with vengeance. What was your plans after that?"
He looked nervous, "Ummm, I didn't have any plans after that. I only thought about getting my revenge, not what happens afterwards."
I pull my shades down to reveal my blue eyes, "Really? You didn't even think of what you was going to do after killing Lance. Really?"
He gave a shrug, "I guess. I only set my mind to one thing at a time."
I resisted the urge to facehoof, "Okay, next question: How was you able to kill eleven Royal Guards without even getting a scratch on you?"
He glanced around nervously, "Huh, well.. I just used tactics."
I leaned forward, "Like?"
He gulped, "Well, I watched them and learned where they was and what they was doing. The ones outside was spread out to much, and the ones inside just... they just wasn't use to violence. I regret doing that, I've cried at night thinking about who they was and what their families was doing without them." He put his face in his hoofs.
I looked around nervously and back at him, "You okay Cody?"
He looked up and whipped his face, "Yeah, next question."
I nodded and looked at the list, "You have killed twelve ponies, and yet on Hearth`s Warming Eve, Princess Celestia allowed you to go free. Why do you think she let you go? Have you truly changed?"
He though for a minute, "I think she let me go because she some how knew I was going to change on my way to kill Lance. I don't know how she knew, but I'm glad she did it. I saw things and met ponies that changed me on the inside. Also yes, I have truly changed. I don't think about killing or revenge anymore, my life has taken a turn for the better."
I smiled and sat back, "I'm very happy to hear that."
He smiled back, "Thanks."
I looked at list and grinned, "Last question: Have you changed back into your normal self? As in, are you the way you was before you met Lance?'
Cody shrugged, "I have in a few ways. I'm not as free going as I use to be, I see life as it really is. I'm more considerate of others feelings now, and in a few ways, I'm happier."
I stood and held out my hoof, "Well Cody, it was a pleasure having this talk. I wish we had more time and questions, but sadly we don't."
Cody stood and smiled happily, "Thank you, it feels good to have finally told someone about all of that." He then shook my hoof.
I looked over at Little Mic, "Okay Micky, take it away. I think I may talk a little more with Cody."
Attention is now shifted back to the announcer
Well, that was a interesting and heartfelt interview, huh? Brought a tear or two to my eyes.
Back on subject. We hope you enjoyed this episode. We are really happy to see that we have so many viewers, makes us happy.
Tune in next time for the next interview. Our next guest is the Pegasus himself, the luckiest and most unlucky Pegasus around, and most defiantly the strangest. Its Lance Greenfield, also known as Girokon.
Send in those questions for him, address them to him and him only.
Welcome everypony to the second episode of 'The dirty truth!'. I'm your announcer, Little Mic.
Today, we're going to be interviewing that strange zebra pony, Lance Greenfield, also know as Girokon.
His wife Twilight Sparkle wanted to be here today, but declined at the last minute. Something about a new book.
Anyway, our interviewer, Vestal, will be asking Lance a series of questions, sent to us by our viewers. Over thirty questions have been sent in for Lance. This should be a very interesting episode.
I will now shut up and allow Vestal to began.
Attention now shift's over to Vestal
I give my signature wave and turn my attention to the zebra type Pegasus sitting in front of me. He had strips all over his body and was wearing a pair of Wonderbolt flight goggles, with red tinted lens.
I put on a smile, "Alright Lance, you ready to begin?"
Lance nodded and rubbed his hooves together, "Sure am." He then looked at me. "But first, your date with Cody, how'd that go?"
"Let's not talk about that," I said as I leaned down and picked up the large list of question's, "Well, that's a lot of questions. Okay Lance, you have two choices: I can split the question up into groups, or ask them randomly?"
He shrugged, "I don't really care, I guess just randomly."
I smiled, "Alright, my favorite way to ask questions. Lets began, first question: Why do you keep rubbing your hoofs together?"
Lance chuckled and shook his head, "Well, I only do it when I'm nervous."
I grinned, "Really? I stutter when I'm nervous, which never happens. Next question: How lucky and/or unlucky you think you are?"
He held a hoof to his face, "Well, lets start with lucky. I'm lucky to have great friends and a loving wife. For unlucky, well lets just say that if a manticore had a choice between me or twenty other ponies to have for lunch, he would chose me."
I laughed despite myself, "Sorry about that, moving on. Why did you choose to be a Pegasus?"
He undid his wings and spread them out, "Well duh, to fly of course."
I chuckled, "Okay lance, since we have so many questions, how would you like it if we go fast pace?"
He cocked his head, "What do you mean 'fast pace'?"
I smiled, "I ask a question and you answer and we move on. Sound good?"
He nodded, "Sounds good to me."
I looked at the list, "And we begin: Have you ever read cupcakes? And if so, were you ever the least bit nervous when you met her the first time?"
He visibly shuddered, "Uhhh, yeah, I've read it. When I first met her, I wasn't worried. It was when I was alone with her the first time when I became worried. So yeah, I'm kinda scared of her, never know when she'll snap and go on a killing spree."
What is he talking about? What is he talking about? "Did you read Sweet Apple Massacre and if so, what was your reaction?"
He gulped audible, "I read it, and it made me sorta sick to my stomach. He did so many things to those fillies... still wasn't the worst one I've read."
"Don't you find Greg's ways a bit disturbing? Ever thought of kicking him out of your house?"
"Greg is a weird dude, he has his moments. Though I would never kick him out of my house. I couldn't do that to him, besides, its pretty fun having him around."
Huh, I wonder if he's talking about the Greg who's scheduled to appear... moving on, "Do you believe Greg still has a chance with Pinkie?"
He looked confused, "A chance with Pinkie? I didn't even know he liked her, and she sure doesn't seem to like him. They're friends and all, but I don't know about that."
"Does Twilight know about the Jackass video? If yes, how did she react?"
He rubbed his hooves together, "She knows, and she almost killed me when she watched it. Saying it was unsafe to be doing those kind of stunts. I agree with her, one hundred percent on that one."
"What was your most enjoyable moment you've had in Equestria?"
He put a hoof to his chin, "Hmmmm, tough choice. I guess it would be the first time that me and Twilight made love..." He looked around and rubbed his hooves furiously, "Uhhh, I mean... Uhhh, party?"
I chuckled and looked at the list again, "What was your least enjoyable moment you've had in Equestria?"
"I'll have to give two for that one: The worst was when I died because of poisoning, and the second would be when we did Jackflank, worst choice of my life right there."
I'm loving this guys answers! "Why do you like Coke so much?"
He smiled, "Easy question, because it taste so damn good! I mean, the flavor just washes over you. Uhhh, that's all on that one. If I keep going, we'll be here all night."
"What is your favorite thing about Twilight?"
"My favorite thing about Twilight? Well, there's two things. One, she is very smart and loves books. Second, she is just so nice and caring and can be so adorkable."
Adorkable, that's a new one, "What do you like about your cutie mark?"
He looked down at his cutie mark and smiled, "Well, I like how it shows that I will do anything. It shows bravery and courage. But like Greg said, it also shows what a dumb ass I am."
I chuckled, "What did it feel like when you did the sonic rainboom?"
"Oh, it felt awesome. Image going down a large hill on a Japanese motorcycle, picking up so much speed you can't even see through your visor. Yeah, it felt like that in a way."
"Do you know what's Twilight's favorite book is?"
He held a hoof to his chin again, "That is a hard question, I mean, she has so many. I guess it would have to be the book she keeps by our bed. Its called, The Art of the To-Do List."
Okay then, weird book, "What's your favorite color?"
" I have two, red and black."
"What will you name your colt or filly?"
He rubbed his chin, "Me and Twilight have been talking, if its a colt, we'll name it Little Giro, after me. If its a filly, we'll name it Sparkler, after Twilight. Yeah, we suck at names. That may change when its born though."
"Will you end up working at a different job?"
He shrugged, "Probably, I mean, I love being a waiter, its fun and I get to meet new ponies. But I don't know if its enough to support a family."
"Did you ever regret the Jackflank stunts?"
He sighed, "Everyday, especially when Twilight talks about having a second foal. I haven't told her that I can't... You know?"
I laughed loudly, "Well, she knows now."
He facehoofed, "Shit!"
I smiled, "Moving on: Any new stunts planned?"
"No. I told Greg he can go buck himself if he wants to do another Jackflank."
I held back a laugh, "Did you consider any other worlds to go to besides Equestria?"
"Yeah, just one other. I thought about going to the world of, 'Keroro Gunso'. You probably don't know what that is, but all I'll say is that it's my favorite anime out there."
Anime? What the... "If you had never met Twilight or Rainbow Dash, who do you think you might have fallen in love with?"
He rubbed his hooves together again, "Well, to be truth full, I didn't come here to fall in love. That happened by accident. But, I may have fallen for Octavia, she seems nice." His eyes widened, "Huh, does everypony watch this?"
I nodded, "Yep, most of Equestria watches this."
"Damn."
I chuckled, "Moving on to the next question: What do you think Frederic would've done if you had been raped by Luna, like with what happened at your house?"
He shrugged, "Well, knowing him, nothing. I mean, it was way before they started dating or anything. But I do know that he would've held it against me."
"When is your and Twilight's foal due to be born?"
He rubbed his chin, "You know, I don't really know. I think five months? Yeah, five months or so."
"If you were Fluttershy, what kind of tree would you like to be?"
"Pine, or maybe oak. Is this a trick question?"
I took a deep breath, trying not to laugh at him, "How many ponies know about the bronies in Equestria?"
He shrugged again, "I have no idea, I guess all of them now."
"How does it feel like to have a 100,000+ pair of eyes reading about your private life in Equestria and EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE?"
He looked around nervously and rubbed his hooves together, "I'm being watched? If I'm being watched, then that means they've seen me and Twilight... Oh God!"
I chuckled, "Don't worry, you'll get use to it." I cocked my head, "This is a strange one: What's it like to be interviewing yourself?"
He scratched the back of his head, "But I'm not interviewing myself. What does that question mean?"
I shrugged, "Beats me, moving on: When was it that you took up practicing parkour?"
He smiled, "I like this question. It all started when I met a guy from Ireland, this was about when I was nine or so. He was running and jumping off buildings and climbing everything, doing all sorts of moves. I asked him what he was doing and he told me parkour. After that, he showed me the basics, and soon, I was doing some small parkour. After a few years, I had almost mastered it. I mean, I'm good at it and all, but I still have a few accidents from time to time."
Parkour? Sounds interesting, I may ask him to show me some after the show. I looked at the list and sighed, "This question again! Would you kill or seriously harm Vestal for a Klondike bar and not get in trouble for it?"
He laughed, "I would, only if you switched out the Klondike bar for a coke."
I shook my head, chuckling, "Moving on, before you get any ideas. Would you let Omnius beat you up for a 20 pack of coke-cola?"
"Oh hell yes! I would let him beat the crap out of me, throw me over a cliff, and beat me with a stick! It would be so worth it!"
I tilted back laughing, this guy was to much! "Wow, you love your coke, huh?"
He smirked, "I sure do, I would do anything for one."
I laughed a little more and looked at the list, "Ff it meant getting rid of Greg forever, would you do a Jackflank's 2 and 3?"
He shook his head, "Hell no, its not worth it. Besides, I wouldn't want to get ride of my stoner friend Greg."
"Did you ever expect the life you have now with Twilight and the ponies/bronies you've met?"
"I never would have expected this kind of life. I thought I would live out my days alone, just going on with life, nothing to keep me happy. But here, I have so much. A loving wife, friends who care about me, and so many fun things to do."
I smiled, "That's nice. Why do you think God gave you all the choice of what afterlife you wanted?"
He furrowed his brows, "I have no idea on that one, He has his reasons. But I think its because He wanted to show us that he was powerful, yet kind."
"If you had agreed to be raped by Rainbow Dash, what do you think your life would be like now?"
He held his hoof to his chin, "Well, I don't know. I know for fact that I would avoid her at all cost, but other than that, I don't know."
I looked at the next question and became confused, "This isn't a question, its more like a request. What would you say if I wanted you and Twilight to be the godparents of our twins?"
Lance chuckled, "Oh Frederic, you never cease to amuse, I would say yes by the way."
How did he know who asked that question? I looked at the list and chuckled, "I like this one: Imagine you're on a small island, and you can choose 5 people to assist you, who will you choose, and why?"
He looked to be thinking, "I would chose; Greg, Twilight, Frederic, David, and Peter. As for why, they are my closest and most dearest friends."
"What was your reaction when you got your cutie mark?"
"I was kinda pissed off at first, seriously, who wants their talent to be a test dummy?"
I chuckled, "Where did you think up of the name Girokon?"
"Well, I messed two things together. One of my favorite characters from a anime was Giroro. That's where I got Giro. As for the kon part, I took it from a friends last name. Thus, the name Girokon was born."
"When you were with Octavia, it looked like you were about to cheat on Twilight. Is this true?"
He rubbed his hooves together, "Huh, why would I do that. I mean, I'm happy with Twilight. Sure, I may have... small feelings for Octavia, but I wouldn't cheat on Twilight for her."
"Do you think that Greg's smoking would be bad for your colt/filly?"
He adjusted his goggles, "Well, I haven't thought about that. I guess it can be, I may have a talk with him about it."
"Do you have any sort of idea what that dream was with your Earth friends, and you jumped out the window?"
He raised his hooves to his sides, "I have no idea. I think it was a coma dream, but some how I was able to hear Twilight. It was a weird dream, that's all I have to say."
"Why do you think Rainbow Dash wanted to drain Twilight's magic with that one cupcake?"
"She told me why. She was trying to remove Twilight's magic so that she could have her way with me, without Twilight using her magic to stop it. I have to say, it was a smart idea. But it also killed me, so yeah."
"Do you think differently of Rainbow Dash now that she tried to rape you twice?"
He shook his head, "Nah, I still see her as Rainbow Dash. Besides, in her eyes it wasn't rape. I hope."
"Do you like roofies?"
"I have no idea what those are, but David talks about them all the time. I may ask him about them."
I shrugged, "I really wish I knew what they were. Have you ever thought about trying a blunt with Greg?"
"Once, when I was in his room. But I would prefer to stay away from that stuff. I may try it with him sometime though."
"Why do you hit your head all the time?"
"I wish I knew that answer! I keep hitting my head, over and over again. I'm going to have brain damage one day. I just know it, and Twilight will kill me if that happens."
"What was your reaction when Whitemark heard you and Twilight sexing it up?"
He chuckled, "Oh man, I was embarrassed big time. I wanted to beat the crap out of him and then hide in a hole for a while. Doesn't matter though, I walked in on him and Rainbow Dash having sex a while back, that was funny!"
"How do you feel that there is no computers in Equestria?"
He groaned, "I hate it! I can't serf the net anymore, and I can't do all the things I like to do. It sucks, big time. I'm having withdraws, if it wasn't for the bronies and Twilight, I would be crazy right now."
"On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love Twilight?"
He grinned, "On a scale from 1 to 10 huh? I'll have to say one hundred! I love her more than anything, I've never loved anything or anyone this much... Shit, that was sappy!"
I chuckled and looked at the last question on the list, "Last question, and its the best one of them all! On a scale of 1 to 10, how handsome does Vestal look today?"
He laughed and rubbed his hooves together, "I would have to say... six."
I stood and bowed, "Why thank you my good sir."
Lance stood and laughed, "Six, it works for everything."
I held out my hoof, "It was a pleasure to interview you Lance."
He shook my hoof, "It was fun, I wish Twilight would have been here with me. That would have been some funny shit right there."
I laughed and looked around, "Yeah, that would have been fun."
He looked at me and smirked, "I bet I can drink more apple cider than you."
I smirked back, "Your on!"
*Cough* Little Mic leaned over, "Vestal, your still on the air."
I chuckled and turned, "Sorry about that Micky, I'll give you full attention now."
Little Mic glared, "Its Mic, not Micky!"
I waved him off, "What ever you say Micky."
Attention is now shifted back over to the announcer
This was a good episode, a lot of interesting questions and answers. I wonder if I can pursue Lance to help me get a marefriend... Err, I mean we hope you all enjoyed this episode.
Tune in next time for the next interview. Our next guest is the prankster himself, the blaze of glory, Peter Kruzel, also known as Purple Blaze.
We are ready to start receiving questions for him, so start sending them. Address them to him and him only please.
First off, this whole interview was done on Skype with Purple Blaze, the guy behind Peter Krużel. He answered every question himself.
Interview with Peter Krużel
Welcome everypony to the third episode of 'The dirty truth!'. I'm your announcer, Little Mic.
Today, we're going to be interviewing that lucky guy, Peter Krużel.
Our interview will be asking him a series of questions, all sent in by you, the viewers.
Vestal, you may now begin.
Attention now shift's over to Vestal
I do that signature wave that everypony loves and looks straight at Peter, "Well, how you doing today Peter?"
Peter looks at me, "Not bad, dude, but I was busy a while before, you know my job." He says with a smirk.
Job? I didn't know he had a job.
I smile and pick up the list of questions, "Ummm, those are some interesting questions. You ready to begin?"
Peter shrugged, "Yeah, but ask fast, I still have some... work... to do."
I sigh and look at the first question, "First question: What was it like getting sent to another dimension?"
Peter scratched his head, and looks at me, "Well, you know, when it happens, you feel like you're in jelly... A big pool of jelly!"
A big pool of jelly, sounds fun. "Was it fun?"
He laughs awkwardly, "Well... Yes?"
I laugh at his awkwardness, "Alrighty then, next question: What is your favorite hobby?"
Peter looks at me, "Seriously? Isn't it obvious? It's playing on the guitar, duh!"
I smile, "You can play? That's interesting, would you mind playing at the end of the show?"
He smiled brightly, "Of course, dude! But I'll play only one song, because I don't have much time"
I nodded happily, "Sweet! Lets move on: What is your favorite story?"
He rubbed his neck, "Uh... Fan-Fiction or book? If Fan-Fiction, it's Past Sins, and if book, it's Witcher saga."
Never heard of them before, "Cool. What is your favorite dessert?"
Peter inhales deeply, "Well it's..."
I lean forward, "Its?"
"...Pies!" He pulls a apple pie out of nowhere, and throws it straight at me.
The pie slams into my face, exploding into a gooey mess. I sit up, whip the pie off, lick my hoof, and sigh, "Good one." I'll get him back for that one, "Moving on: You ripped Lace tuxedo, on a 1 to 10 meter how mad is he?"
Peter instantly stops laughing, and looks at me in horror, "Oh crap, he didn't know that... Answering the question, it would be 10."
"YOU WHAT!" Somepony out in the crowd screamed.
Peter looks at the audience sheepishly, "Lance! I can explain! That wasn't... ah, screw it, I can't explain it."
"YOUR DEAD WHEN WE GET HOME!" Lance screamed out in the crowd.
I looked out into the crowd and yelled, "Quit! We're in the middle of a show!" I looked back at Peter, "Your screwed."
He looked back, "Well, no shit Sherlock. Let's move on... Hey wait, I live alone!" A big smile appear on his face. "I wonder how Lance will get through my all traps."
I chuckled, poor Lance, "What was it like meeting Lance?"
"The first time?" He burst into laughter, "That mask was great, Lance!"
"THAT WAS YOU!" Lance yelled from the crowd.
I looked out into the crowd and straight at Lance, "LANCE! If you don't stop interrupting, I'll have you kicked out." I looked back to Peter, "Moving on: What in the hell happened to all the dogs that your friends owned?"
"What can I say, they were pretty tasty..." His face was emotionless.
He ate them! "What?!"
He tried to keep his face straight, but failed, and chuckled, "Dude, you should look at your face! No, I didn't do anything to them. I didn't even know that my friends owned a dogs!"
I exhaled, thank Celestia. "You had me there. Lets move on: How many times have you kicked your freinds in the balls?"
"Well, just once. Sorry Zorrow!"
Poor guy, I hope he can still make foals, "Time for some Rarity questions." Because I'm feeling extra evil today, "Is it true that you and Rarity haven't bucked apples yet?"
He looked at me in confusion, "Rarity and me bucked ap..." Suddenly his expression changed, "Oh... I won't answer that question, and I think I know, who asked it. You're dead to me!"
I laughed, "I'll take that as a no. Why do you like Rarity even though you play with pies too much?"
"Did you hear about phase 'opposites attract'. She's... Wait, why I'm telling you this? Leave my love life alone!" He looks at the audience, "Why you asked that question?"
I smirked, "What would happen if Rarity came in while the FLUTTERSHY unit was in HORNY mode?"
Peter glared at me, "Dude! Not funny! Stop that right now, or I'll summon pie storm!"
Oh buck! I picked up a pencil and scribbled out all the sexual Rarity questions, "Okay, I'm done. Moving on: Has Spike killed you/mauled you severely for being Rarity's colt friend?"
His face turned pale, "Okay, NOW I'm dead... I hope that he's not in the audience."
"HEY PETER! LOOK OVER HERE!" Lance said from the crowd as he stood up and held Spike above his head.
Spike pointed at Peter and made a cutting motion with his claw across his throat.
Peter only stared at him for the moment. Then, he smiled, "I won't escape, if you really want to beat me, Spike, first think about how Rarity would react when she'd find me beaten, or dead, huh?" Then he muttered, "I hope he'll give up, or she'll surely find me dead."
Spike shrugged and Lance sat back down.
I chuckled, "I'll allow that interruption. Why do you think that Rarity loves you?"
Peter though for a moment. "Honestly? I don't really know... Sure, I'm a nice person, I would help anypony in need, but... I don't know."
I shrugged, "Its a mystery to all of us. Why did you ask Frederic for bits to buy Rarity the necklace when he could have done it for you?"
He looked sheepishly "Whoops?"
That wasn't a smart move on his part. "Any big plans for April foals day?"
"Yes, I have a REALLY big plans, there will be a prank, that will affect EVERYPONY in Equestria, but, maybe, I'll spare a few..." He smiled evilly.
I better not be affected by his prank. "Why do you like playing guitar?"
"I like it for few reasons. First, it's fun to play! Second, when I had depression, it helped me lighten up. Three, I love to piss off people, who can't play on it." He smirked.
I can't play... "How many songs do know on it?"
"Let's see..." He was thinking for a moment, "Ah, I can't even count! Let's say, MANY"
I grinned, "Cool, can't wait to hear one. Where did you get sent when Greg did his spell?"
Peter looked at me, "His failed mustache spell sent me to another dimension! Fortunetly, somepony helped me."
Another dimension? "when did you discover you were a joki knight?"
He smirked, "In said dimension, and with help of said pony."
"If you had to chose between Rarity or Lance, which one would you want to live?"
After Peter heard the question, he frowned and thought really hard. After a few minutes, he broke the silence "I choose... both. I would sacrifice myself for them."
That's really nice and noble of him. "What possessed you to slam a pie into Rainbow's face?"
He smiled, "The joke force is a strong thing."
I looked at the next question, "Really? This one again? would you kill or seriously harm vestal for a klondike bar and not get in trouble for it?"
He smirked, "Of course!... Not. Klondike bar? Oh please, give me portal gun, and I'll do it."
"What is your favorite song to play?"
He thought for a second, "On an acoustic it's "Change" and on electric it's "Master of Puppets"."
Nice! "I like this one. You are trapped on island for 6 months. Who would you bring with you, why, and what object would you bring for entertainment?"
He smiled and held a hoof to his chin. "For one, I'll bring with me Rarity, because I love her, Lance, Greg, David, because they're my best friends, and Twilight and Rainbow Dash, because David and Lance would kill me, if they wouldn't be with them. For two, I would get full guitar set and drums, hmm... computer with dat internetz and game called Prototype!"
Interesting... "Are you jealous that Lance can do a Shadow Blast and you can't?"
"A little, but I'm a joki knight! So much better!"
I chuckled, "If you are a joki knight, then were do you keep your jokesaber?"
"It's Light Joybuzzer, and it's in my house... don't try to find it, it's hidden perfectly."
A Light Joybuzzer, oh no. "Would you like to play the guitar with Octavia sometime?"
He chuckled, "Maybe..."
Here's a weird question, "What are your thoughts on Twilight, the book."
He rolled his eyes, "I don't read crap, so I don't know what it is..."
"What was it like after the rapture talking to God?"
He laughed, "Think of it like a Big Brother show..."
I looked at the remaining questions, "Do you like roofies?"
"Whatever it is... For now my answer is... Yes." He said grinning.
"What do you think about each brony?"
He shrugged, "Brony is a brony, my buddy!"
I looked at the last question and smiled, "Last question: Why do you like to prank so much?"
He smiled proudly, "Because its fun!"
I stood up and held out a hoof, "It was a pleasure talking to you Peter."
He stood and smirked, "It was a pleasure to talk to you."
When we shook hooves, I felt electricity shot through my body.
Peter began to laugh while I tried not to kill him, "Why don't you play us that song?"
He stopped laughing and smiled, "Sure." He reached down and picked up his guitar.
When he finished, I smiled, "Awesome! Micky, take us away."
Attention is now shifted back over to the announcer
That sure was an interesting episode, huh? Peter sure knows how to pull a prank.
Tune in next time for the next interview. Our next guest something special, he is the luckiest guy around, he is the prince of Equestria, Frederic (No last name given) also know as Iron Clad.
We are ready to start receiving questions for him, so start sending them. Address them to him and him only please.
Welcome everypony to the third episode of 'The dirty truth!'. I'm your announcer, Little Mic.
Today, we're going to be interviewing royalty tonight, he is the luckiest guy you'll ever meet, Frederic.
Our interview will be asking him a series of questions, all sent in by you, the viewers.
Vestal, you may now begin.
Attention now shift's over to Vestal
I give of my awesome smile and give my signature wave before turning to Frederic, "Well well, I never thought I would get the chance to interview royalty. It is an honor."
Frederic smiled and waved him off, "You don't have to do all that fancy stuff. Just treat me like a normal pony."
I smile and straighten up, "Alright then, this will be fun. You ready to begin?"
Frederic relaxed into his chair, "Ready when you are."
I look at the questions and smirk, "You know what, I'm going to be cruel and start with a few question's that have to do with your marriage."
Frederic groaned and then sighted, "Okay, lets get them out of the way."
I smiled and read the question, "How did you feel when you found out that Luna tried to rape Lance?"
Frederic chuckled, "I found it funny. She told me some things she might be interested in trying out. Gonna have to talk to Lance on that though."
I wonder what that means, "If you are a prince, can you banish me to the moon?"
Frederic smirked, "You gotta have done some pretty intense misdeed for that. I potentially could, but why would I taint the moon with evil? That just add insult to injury to Luna." He then became confused, "I though you was asking me questions about my marriage?"
I facehoofed, "Whoops, sorry about that. How do you feel about Luna having twins aside from jumping out of the window and yelling "YES!" at the top of your lungs?"
"It's flipping amazing! I can't wait. I'm just so excited about this! There's no word invented to say how happy I am. Even Shakespeare would have a hard time on this one."
I laughed a little at him, "How did you react inside the castle when you saw Luna and Celestia try to rape you?" Rape... wow.
He rubbed the back of his head, "It's hard to describe with words how I reacted."
Poor guy... Well, it is the princesses, take that back. Lucky guy! "Are you and Luna linked spiritually?"
"We are as well as emotionally and... physically." He then began to blush slightly.
"When did you look at Luna and say "Yep..She's the one."?"
He looked to be thinking, "Well... its hard to describe again how that felt. Again, Shakespeare would be scratching his head to find words for this. I guess it was a combination of all that she was and could be that made me fall for her."
I want to fall for somepony... "If when you proposed to Luna, and she rejected you, HARSLY, would you either go all suicidal, or go insane?"
He looked slightly nervous, "I would have exiled myself from Equestria and never to return. Hiding bellow the surface, never to look at the moon again in fear of reminding myself of her."
That's true love right there, lucky. "What are ya gonna name your kids?"
Frederic began to smile, "Luna and I have talked about it after we received confirmation we had fraternal twins. We're going to name our filly Nova and our colt Star Chaser."
"Nice names, moving on. How would you react if you were sent to a alternate dimension where Luna had a child that died during birth and somehow appeared alive 12 years later age 12?"
He chuckled, "I don't have the qualification to answer that question. I think I'd need the help of Doctor Whooves and Omnius to answer that correctly."
I have no idea who they are, "We're done with the marriage questions, now for general ones."
He sighed, "Finally."
I smirked, "What's the worst thing you've said about Luna behind her back?"
He looked at me like I was stupid, "What are you talking about? Why would I say stuff behind her back? I'm too loyal to do that kind of thing."
I thought I had him... "What's the best experience you've had in your life that didn't involve Luna?"
Frederic smiled, "I'm living the best moments of my life right now: being married to the most stunning mare of all Equestria. Hey Vestal, you're safe from harm."
I relaxed and allowed a smile to appear on my face, "Oh thank Celestia. Moving on: How angry would you be if human's made a portal to Equestria and kidnapped your wife?"
Frederic furrowed his brow, "From what I understood from Lance, there is no more earth. But I guess if someone did create a rift to Equestria and kidnap her, I'd follow them through hell to get her back."
That's sweet, "How angry were you when Greg interrupted your wedding? And if you weren't angry what was your reaction?"
Frederic became serious, "I was pissed, baffled, insulted, and overall stunned at how low he got himself in my opinion of him."
I held back a laugh, "How angry would you be at Greg if he planted secret video cameras in yours and Luna's room?"
"I hope Celestia has mercy for him because I will NOT!"
I began to laugh, but quickly stopped, "Sorry, we'll move on: Who is Darksteel Edge and how did you inhabit him?"
He put a hoof to his chin, "I had no idea I could pull that kind of thing off. I guess it's my alter ego. Who I aspire to be and what I want to accomplish. Or it could be just what I look like in my immortal form... Need to ask Celestia and Omnious about that detail."
Sounds cool, "What is royal life like opposed to the life you lived before as a blacksmith?"
He thought for a second, "There's only one thing that has changed really and that happens to be the most amaizing perk of all: Being with Luna."
I smiled, "Do you still ever work on making armor?"
He sighed, "No, they got someone else to do it. They thought doing that was beneath my dignity now. Now I'm the Royal Engineer. My job is basically to find new ways to propel the technological advancement of Equestria."
I looked at him impressed, "Now that is cool! Would you maim or cause serious harm to Vestal for a Klondike bar and you wouldn't get in trouble for doing so." This one again? Somepony out there hates me...
Frederic thought for a few seconds, "Klondike bar? Really? No, I'm not into sweets. If it were a box set of Mactools, then I would do it."
I chuckled, I love the answers for that sometimes, "Okay, moving on: Trixie. What do you think of her?"
He sat back in his chair, "I have heard of her. It is said her talent reside in magic, yet she performs poorly at it. I might have to do something about that. After all, there are more than just the standard magic. There's arcane, divine and profane. I guess she has yet to discover her magic branch."
"The Great and Powerful Trixie will make you pay for saying that!" Screamed a pony from the crowd.
Before I could say anything, Frederic's horn glowed, "There, I transported her to the outside of the building."
I nodded, "Thanks. Lets move on: What's it like knowing that you are one of the three guardians of Equestria?"
He smiled, "Like a boss in all honesty. Well, were not just three, you forgot the Elements of Harmony."
Yeah, those are important too, "What are your plans for the bunker for next year's heat?"
He looked around, "I can't delve too much in details because mares are listening. It's a disclosed location but I can say that it cannot be entered unless one knows the proper arcane seal combination."
I sighed, I know where I'm going next time. Those mare's were rough! "What is your full name?"
He shrugged, "Ah, my full Name is Frederic Bourdages. I have French ascendancy."
Nice name, at least we know his full name now. "What is your quest?"
He smiled proudly, "The advancement and protection of Equestria. If I cannot defend it, in the words of Iron Man, I sure will avenge it."
I looked at the list and sighed, "Last question, ready?"
He nodded.
"Are you a sexy little weasel?"
He chuckled, "I do not feel the need to answer this."
I laughed and stood, "Nice interviewing you Frederic."
He stood and shook my hoof, "It was my pleasure."
I looked around, "Wanna talk some more back stage? I have a few questions of my own."
Frederic shrugged, "Sure."
I looked over to Little Mic, "Okay Micky, its all yours."
Attention is now shifted back over to the announcer
Well, that was interesting, huh? I didn't know the Prince was so laid back.
Tune in next time for the next interview. Our next guest is the fan favorite, the one that everyone loves, Greg Campbell.
We are ready to start receiving questions for him, so start sending them. Address them to him and him only please.
