Interview: Frederic (Iron Clad)
Interview with Frederic (Unknown last name)
Welcome everypony to the third episode of 'The dirty truth!'. I'm your announcer, Little Mic.
Today, we're going to be interviewing royalty tonight, he is the luckiest guy you'll ever meet, Frederic.
Our interview will be asking him a series of questions, all sent in by you, the viewers.
Vestal, you may now begin.
Attention now shift's over to Vestal
I give of my awesome smile and give my signature wave before turning to Frederic, "Well well, I never thought I would get the chance to interview royalty. It is an honor."
Frederic smiled and waved him off, "You don't have to do all that fancy stuff. Just treat me like a normal pony."
I smile and straighten up, "Alright then, this will be fun. You ready to begin?"
Frederic relaxed into his chair, "Ready when you are."
I look at the questions and smirk, "You know what, I'm going to be cruel and start with a few question's that have to do with your marriage."
Frederic groaned and then sighted, "Okay, lets get them out of the way."
I smiled and read the question, "How did you feel when you found out that Luna tried to rape Lance?"
Frederic chuckled, "I found it funny. She told me some things she might be interested in trying out. Gonna have to talk to Lance on that though."
I wonder what that means, "If you are a prince, can you banish me to the moon?"
Frederic smirked, "You gotta have done some pretty intense misdeed for that. I potentially could, but why would I taint the moon with evil? That just add insult to injury to Luna." He then became confused, "I though you was asking me questions about my marriage?"
I facehoofed, "Whoops, sorry about that. How do you feel about Luna having twins aside from jumping out of the window and yelling "YES!" at the top of your lungs?"
"It's flipping amazing! I can't wait. I'm just so excited about this! There's no word invented to say how happy I am. Even Shakespeare would have a hard time on this one."
I laughed a little at him, "How did you react inside the castle when you saw Luna and Celestia try to rape you?" Rape... wow.
He rubbed the back of his head, "It's hard to describe with words how I reacted."
Poor guy... Well, it is the princesses, take that back. Lucky guy! "Are you and Luna linked spiritually?"
"We are as well as emotionally and... physically." He then began to blush slightly.
"When did you look at Luna and say "Yep..She's the one."?"
He looked to be thinking, "Well... its hard to describe again how that felt. Again, Shakespeare would be scratching his head to find words for this. I guess it was a combination of all that she was and could be that made me fall for her."
I want to fall for somepony... "If when you proposed to Luna, and she rejected you, HARSLY, would you either go all suicidal, or go insane?"
He looked slightly nervous, "I would have exiled myself from Equestria and never to return. Hiding bellow the surface, never to look at the moon again in fear of reminding myself of her."
That's true love right there, lucky. "What are ya gonna name your kids?"
Frederic began to smile, "Luna and I have talked about it after we received confirmation we had fraternal twins. We're going to name our filly Nova and our colt Star Chaser."
"Nice names, moving on. How would you react if you were sent to a alternate dimension where Luna had a child that died during birth and somehow appeared alive 12 years later age 12?"
He chuckled, "I don't have the qualification to answer that question. I think I'd need the help of Doctor Whooves and Omnius to answer that correctly."
I have no idea who they are, "We're done with the marriage questions, now for general ones."
He sighed, "Finally."
I smirked, "What's the worst thing you've said about Luna behind her back?"
He looked at me like I was stupid, "What are you talking about? Why would I say stuff behind her back? I'm too loyal to do that kind of thing."
I thought I had him... "What's the best experience you've had in your life that didn't involve Luna?"
Frederic smiled, "I'm living the best moments of my life right now: being married to the most stunning mare of all Equestria. Hey Vestal, you're safe from harm."
I relaxed and allowed a smile to appear on my face, "Oh thank Celestia. Moving on: How angry would you be if human's made a portal to Equestria and kidnapped your wife?"
Frederic furrowed his brow, "From what I understood from Lance, there is no more earth. But I guess if someone did create a rift to Equestria and kidnap her, I'd follow them through hell to get her back."
That's sweet, "How angry were you when Greg interrupted your wedding? And if you weren't angry what was your reaction?"
Frederic became serious, "I was pissed, baffled, insulted, and overall stunned at how low he got himself in my opinion of him."
I held back a laugh, "How angry would you be at Greg if he planted secret video cameras in yours and Luna's room?"
"I hope Celestia has mercy for him because I will NOT!"
I began to laugh, but quickly stopped, "Sorry, we'll move on: Who is Darksteel Edge and how did you inhabit him?"
He put a hoof to his chin, "I had no idea I could pull that kind of thing off. I guess it's my alter ego. Who I aspire to be and what I want to accomplish. Or it could be just what I look like in my immortal form... Need to ask Celestia and Omnious about that detail."
Sounds cool, "What is royal life like opposed to the life you lived before as a blacksmith?"
He thought for a second, "There's only one thing that has changed really and that happens to be the most amaizing perk of all: Being with Luna."
I smiled, "Do you still ever work on making armor?"
He sighed, "No, they got someone else to do it. They thought doing that was beneath my dignity now. Now I'm the Royal Engineer. My job is basically to find new ways to propel the technological advancement of Equestria."
I looked at him impressed, "Now that is cool! Would you maim or cause serious harm to Vestal for a Klondike bar and you wouldn't get in trouble for doing so." This one again? Somepony out there hates me...
Frederic thought for a few seconds, "Klondike bar? Really? No, I'm not into sweets. If it were a box set of Mactools, then I would do it."
I chuckled, I love the answers for that sometimes, "Okay, moving on: Trixie. What do you think of her?"
He sat back in his chair, "I have heard of her. It is said her talent reside in magic, yet she performs poorly at it. I might have to do something about that. After all, there are more than just the standard magic. There's arcane, divine and profane. I guess she has yet to discover her magic branch."
"The Great and Powerful Trixie will make you pay for saying that!" Screamed a pony from the crowd.
Before I could say anything, Frederic's horn glowed, "There, I transported her to the outside of the building."
I nodded, "Thanks. Lets move on: What's it like knowing that you are one of the three guardians of Equestria?"
He smiled, "Like a boss in all honesty. Well, were not just three, you forgot the Elements of Harmony."
Yeah, those are important too, "What are your plans for the bunker for next year's heat?"
He looked around, "I can't delve too much in details because mares are listening. It's a disclosed location but I can say that it cannot be entered unless one knows the proper arcane seal combination."
I sighed, I know where I'm going next time. Those mare's were rough! "What is your full name?"
He shrugged, "Ah, my full Name is Frederic Bourdages. I have French ascendancy."
Nice name, at least we know his full name now. "What is your quest?"
He smiled proudly, "The advancement and protection of Equestria. If I cannot defend it, in the words of Iron Man, I sure will avenge it."
I looked at the list and sighed, "Last question, ready?"
He nodded.
"Are you a sexy little weasel?"
He chuckled, "I do not feel the need to answer this."
I laughed and stood, "Nice interviewing you Frederic."
He stood and shook my hoof, "It was my pleasure."
I looked around, "Wanna talk some more back stage? I have a few questions of my own."
Frederic shrugged, "Sure."
I looked over to Little Mic, "Okay Micky, its all yours."
Attention is now shifted back over to the announcer
Well, that was interesting, huh? I didn't know the Prince was so laid back.
Tune in next time for the next interview. Our next guest is the fan favorite, the one that everyone loves, Greg Campbell.
We are ready to start receiving questions for him, so start sending them. Address them to him and him only please.
Thank you all for watching, goodnight everypony!
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Question for Greg: Have you ever thought of selling your weed to other ponies?
Must I repeat myself?
Would you kill or cause serious harm to Vestal for a Klondike bar with no consequences
214336 I think that should be automaticlay put in.
Thats perfect I love it
IN A END OF THE WORLD SITUATION AND YOU COULD ONLY SAVE 1 OF THEM WHILE THE OTHER BEING DESTROYED..............WHO WOULD YOU SAVE???
PINKIE PIE
OR
YOUR WEED
????????????????????????????????????????????????
Have you thought of selling your vodka in Stalliongrad?
Why Pinkie?
Would you harm Vestal for a Klondike bar?
Seriously Why Pinkie?
Would you perform spells with Trixie for a special strain of weed?
Dammit. The klondike one's been taken...aw well.
214339Eeyup...but I've asked every time from the first interview on so I'm still gonna ask anyway though people are trying to beat me to asking the question now I'm still the original asker and now people are copying me wich surprises me
Greg what would you do if I stole your weed? Just on case I already definitely stole it and sold it to the Prench. (woops forgot the question mark)
to greg: have you ever wanted to try smoking poison joke?
214366 Well next time I'll be the first to read and ask it.
lol four of my questions were answered and they were personally the more confusing and evil ones
I loved the reactions though, also Greg questions for you.
1. What are you gonna do once Lance's foal is born and brought home.
2. Do you sell weed to other ponies
3. Did you think it was really necessary to interrupt Iron Clad's wedding
4. When did you start to smoke blunts.
and that's it for now
214374*ultra rape face* you do that and the mare proof shelter will be missing one certain stallion
214388 I'll just create a house of ice.
1) greg has pinkie pie shown you how to break the fourth wall at al?
2) where do you get your materials?
3) if you were discord for a day what would you do?
214395vineton my flame controlling OC and Luna and celestia and Twilight and Eris and and my OC that blocks out special abilities are all in heat and they all can't stop thinking of you even when suronded by stallions they only want you in particular Basically your ice powers are in usable and the most powerful mares in Equestria are after you
214421 No my ice powers come from an inner demonic power so therefore you argument is invalid....plus I have no regrets impaling them all with ice pilliars.
214400 materials for what? cause if its his weed, it was explained a while ago that he learned a spell to manifest them
214421 only problem with that is im lesbian. and would probally go after celestia first chance i get. meaning you are down to mares
214424 you cant hurt me little one *starts another brushing sessions:3*
214438............*sets Bridge on fire, begins to burn, jumps into pit of lava below bridge , walks out of lava and jumps into the sun*
214446 oh well *goes off to brush pinkie's mane instead* hop...hop....hop....hop.....
214459 *Inside the sun* WHY AM I SUPPOSE TO CARE?
214434
Snap! that's going to be... omg. nice to see Celestia will get countered. (like i didnt know it already XD)
Question: when did you discover weed?
Few questions,
1. What other drugs have you experimented with?
2. After the incident at the Gala, will you ever let Pinkie near your drugs or alcohol?
3. Do you know what a 'Jack and Coke' is? If you do, have you ever replaced Lance's Cole supply with it?
4. If you were told the location of Iron Clad's bunker for the next heat season, will you lead every mare to it?
5. If you found a spell to make a mare go into heat whenever you wished, would you use it? And if you did, how will you use it?
6. Ever had to go on a journey across equestria when having the munchies? ((If no one knows what I mean by this, you need to watch some stoner films))
1. Do you like roofiess?
2. How bout my roofie cannon?
3. Bro, why the FUCK did you try to take a bite out of a Nitro-cooled Cabbage?
4. Would you eat a Nitro-Cooled coconut?
5. Gandlafs weed or Dumbledores crack?
6. Whats your plan for the next heat? (other than getting forcibly raped)
7. Arby or C33F?
8. What would you doo if David told you to go with him in a Weed-shooting extravaganza with his cannon?
9. Would you try Nitro-Cooled Weed?
10. Is your weed an answer to everything?
11. Have you ever tried to smoke Cereal?, Chief says its Ossim-grade possim
214500 "5)" O.O *starts smacking paddy* why would you ask that?! are you insane!? now he's going to actually try and make a spell to do that!
to greg campbell 4 questoins 1.how hard would you luagh if you gender swaped everypony 2.when you found out there were no computers in equestria why didnt you just summon some so there would be 3.how much vodka do you own 4. how much pleasure did you have when you jumped into the crowd of mares on heat when they raped you?
i will not be ignored!
214466 THIS IS WHY! *smack*
214500
even if he knows the location, he couldn't get it open, not in a thousand years. why He needs to know arcane, which he doesnt. also, you need to know the correct seal combo and have a void crystal to negate the anti-magi crystal at work inside the bunker.
214508 huh? i think i just heard a cricket chirp. *walks away*
214515 ;) hey Iron why does that lock system of yours sound so familiar?
214509....I'm telling Rainbow.
214530 go ahead. but i warn you she said she had "personal business" to attent to with pinkie.
214424>>214434first of vineton in your hormoniol mind you think every mare is now a stallion and every stallion is now a mare due to some spell backfire and sconed your demon won't help cause he's like me and Greg meaning he wants the mares to catch you also i took so long to reply because i was eating sinner so ha!
214546 my demon has no gender
214541 what tha FUCK was that
INVENT THE PONYNET....wait...you should have a really smart OC/madman who invents Electricity then the internet.
I say madman because literally every single genius in human history (maybe not all of them, most of them) has been somewhat odd. Anyway, INVENT IT!
214551yes but he is sharing your body and while being rape will tramutize your mind your body will feel plesure but your tramutized mind will be unable to feel the plesure while the untramutized deamons mind will be able to accept and feel the plesure your body feels
214557
"Isay madman because literally every single genius in human history (maybe not all of them, most of them) has been somewhat odd"
no...
Theyre not odd, theyre freakking Artists
214559 I can seal it away so nice try man but I'm the paticake champion.
214559
Death by snu-Snu
It really aint like most people think, right?
214567when you seal it away though that meens you also can't acsess its powers ether so ha by sealing it away you lose your abilitys entirely
214580 No, I simply lose the option to go genocidal. Don't argue about my powers you no nothing of how they truly work.
214571nope no death only tramutization to those who resist
214585nope but you are two seprate entites basicly and so i know that that's imposiable and pinkie pie agrees and aproves what i'm saying
214595 Bitch she has three sepreate entites and she's my marefriend so I doubt she went against me.
214504
I am just THAT EEEEEVVVIL!
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/113/6/b/evil_spike_vector_by_issyrael-d3eqbrw.png
214626 why is he*looks at number 5*.......Dam, you ar evil.
214616no i'm talking about a pinkie pie from another dimension who taught me how to breach the 4th wall and taught me all she knows about multi personaltys and what not