Turn! Turn! Turn!
"That does it!" Sunset threw her videogame controller to the floor. "No more Miss Nice Girl! I'm turning to THE DARK SIDE! I'm becoming evil again!"
"Mmmhmm," Fluttershy said. "Or you could hold down the B button to hang onto the tree, so your squirrel doesn't keep falling off. Poor little squirrel."
Sunset blinked. She ran her squirrel up and down the tree three times in a row, without falling even once. "Oh. Thanks, Fluttershy."
Fluttershy smiled. "You're welcome."
***
"Look at this." Sunset ground her teeth. "My register is twenty-five cents over. If I have the wrong total at the end of my shift, I could lose my job! I could get fired and never be allowed to sell sushi anywhere in Canterlot anytime again! My life will be ruined! Just to pay rent, I'll be forced to turn to...THE DARK--"
Sunny Flare ran into the restaurant. "Sorry, Sunset! I forgot to balance my register before I left to deliver the convention orders! Was my total off?"
Sunset sighed. "Maybe."
***
Behind Canterlot High School, Sunset held a cigarette tip between her lips, as she dug in her pocket for a lighter. Snips and Snails walked past.
"My boys!" Sunset waved. "Got a light? Mama needs to take the edge off."
The two boys eyed her doubtfully. Snips said, "Smoking is bad for you."
"Yeah," Snails agreed. "I thought you were reformed now."
Sunset clenched her fists. "Being reformed is about NOT TURNING THE ENTIRE SCHOOL INTO A BRAINWASHED ARMY OF MAGIC ENSLAVED MANIACS! Or even just not wrecking the decorations for the big dance and making everyone unhappy. But smoking is different. Smoking one or two cigarettes is no big deal."
Snails shook his head. "Even if you THINK you're the only one who suffers when you wreck your lungs..."
"And maybe give yourself brain cancer," Snips added.
"When you hurt yourself, you hurt everyone who cares about you."
Sunset practically vibrated with tension. "Oh? When I smoke I hurt everyone who cares about me? Well, what if NO ONE cared about me? What if I TURN TO THE DARK SIDE?!"
"Or," Snails said, pulling something like a USB flash drive out of a pocket, "you could just try vaping." He handed it to Sunset. "I know I should try to quit, so...you can have mine."
Sunset pulled off the cap, and pressed the button on the tip. She sucked in a cloud of steam. "Aaah. I needed that."
"Yeah," Snails said, "We could tell."
***
"Your carnival is rigged!" Sunset shouted at the barkers running the ring toss game. "We spent over THREE HUNDRED TICKETS and didn't win even ONE THING! You deserve to be destroyed! Evil magic will rip your booth limb from limb, making you cry and beg for your mommies! Stuffed animals will come to life and peck out your eyes! This time I'm REALLY going to TURN TO THE DARK SIDE--"
Flam screamed. "We already tried to give you the parakeet! What more do you want? What do we have to do?"
Twilight touched Sunset's shoulder. "Sunny? I think the parakeet is cute. Let's take it and go away."
Flim knelt at Twilight's feet, putting his arms around her ankles. "Thank you, miss. Thank you for saving the carnival from becoming an episode of 'Canterlot Unexplained.' I watched the one about the CHS gas leak explosion, and I don't think I could handle being turned into a zombie and blown up."
Twilight glared at him, and he ran away. "Thank you!" he screamed. "Take any prizes you want!"
***
"Oh, yeah," Twilight said, looking at the latest piece of junk Sunset had dug out of a crate at the back of Twilight's workshop. "That's a mind control raygun."
"Really." Sunset snickered.
"Hay, I was only eight years old! I saw an episode of Gone-Again's Island where an evil scientist built one from coconuts and palm fronds. I thought that was just something scientists were supposed to do. I didn't know any better! And besides, I'm pretty sure it doesn't work. Right after I built it, I tested it out on Spike, and he didn't obey any of my commands at all."
Sunset turned the upgraded watergun over and over in her hands. "Maybe it just doesn't work on dogs. Did Spike even know English back then?"
Twilight snorted. "There's no way it could work. Pixie Stix don't have mind control powers."
Sunset pointed the gadget at Twilight, and pulled the trigger. "You feel an irresistable urge to kiss me."
Twilight's eyes went wide. "Oh no! What a strange feeling! I want to mash my lips against my friend's face and body! Whatever will I do?"
Sunset grinned.
Twilight stepped closer to Sunset, and pressed her lips against Sunset's neck. "To teach my wicked, evil friend not to mess with mind control devices, I'll give her a really embarrassing hickey." Twilight sucked noisily, dripping slobber down Sunset's neck and onto her blouse collar.
Sunset softly sighed, her hands playing in Twilight's hair. After a minute, she gave the watergun to Twilight. "Your turn next."
Twilight said, "Let's cuddle on the couch."
"I can't help myself!" Sunset scooped Twilight up in her arms, and carried the cute nerd to the couch. Sunset sat down with Twilight in her lap. "It's snuggle time!"
"You're strong," Twilight said. She kissed Sunset's forehead. "Also, I didn't pull the trigger. I didn't even point it at you."
Sunset shrugged, wrapping her arms tightly around Twilight. "Sorry, I guess it's just super effective."
***
Under a pavilion in Canterlot Park, Sunset and Twilight stood facing each other, holding hands. Twilight wore a white dress with a lacy veil, and Sunset wore a tuxedo.
"I do," Twilght said.
Sunset looked over her shoulder.
"What?" Twilight's grip tightened. "What is it?"
"I'm not sure I turned off the bathtub faucet." Sunset took a half step backwards, tugging Twilight. "I think I should go check first, before we finish."
About a hundred people sitting in several rows of chairs started muttering, exchanging exasperated looks.
"You know what?" Twilight said.
"What?" Sunset asked. "Also, I should make sure we locked the backyard gate, to keep Spike from running away."
"I'm right here, you know," Spike said at their feet. "Did you forget I'm your ringbearer?"
"SPIKE is our ringbearer," Sunset told him. "But are you DOG Spike, or the dragon DISGUISED as the dog?"
"Who do you think I am?" he growled. "Now stop kidding around, and tell her yes or no. I'd prefer yes, but--"
"OH NO!" Twilight said. "IT FINALLY HAPPENED!"
"What happened?" Sunset asked.
"You turned to the dark side." Twilight released her fiancee's hands, and cupped Sunset's head with a hand on each side. "You really did it, you maniac. You asked me to marry you JUST so you could--"
"I do!" Sunset said. "I DO want to marry you. Sorry, I really WAS worried about the faucet. And swapping one Spike for the other is JUST the kind of prank Rainbow Dash would play. You know that."
Rainbow Dash looked sideways, away from the wedding ceremony. Beyond the park's boundaries, a low pitched thud reverberated like thunder.
"Oh...carp," Sunset said. "It's a kaiju."
A purple dragon three stories tall stomped along a Canterlot street. Its voice boomed, "Someone! Please turn me back to normal size! And I'm supposed to be a dog!"
"Hey." Rainbow scratched the back of her head with one hand. "Someone told me about a really funny pranking trick, to add a secret ingredient to a magical talking dog's food that turns him into a giant."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "I know I'm not married to Rainbow, but can I double divorce her anyway?"