To Serve Pony
Rainbow Dash approached the table at the sumptuous feast. The music of harps, violins, and a grand piano called out in festive tunes at the fancy fete. There she was, her maid's costume providing an air of dignity to her balancing act of walking three-legged with a tray in the air. She inhaled the aromas of the finest grass, watercress, yams, and of a mysterious scent, heavy in iron and salt. The gathered nobles pretended not to notice her as she made her way over to them. And with a flourish, she planted the serving platter on the long table.
"It is served, ladies and gentlecolts," Rainbow said with a curtsy. and as she did, her eyes caught a flash of a creamy white among the red and brown notes of the dish of elegantly presented meats. But then she locked eyes with -- a skull? A pony skull glared right at her, situated amongst the flesh, teeth in an eternal grimace.
Black pits of the skull's eyes fixed on her. Rainbow couldn't move. It floated slowly off the tray as the party fell away. "Rainbow..." the skull croaked.
"GHYAAAAAH!" Rainbow cried, awaking with a start loud enough to shake her cloud house.
Zecora sat still in her meditation. The world was peaceful as she extended out her awareness. The cold logs under her cauldron, the placid brew therein -- the welcoming masks smiling at the door -- wintery silence outside as snowflakes fell with imperceptible noise. Drawing further, in her mind's eye, Zecora pictured downtown Ponyville, its big conifer decked out in ornamentation, the eight foot candy canes, and the warm bustle of Hearthswarming Eve. The smoke of cooking fires, and the cheery boxes of treats.
A disturbance entered her awareness, a vortex from high above that broke the peaceful fall of snow, and it was headed her way. Zecora knew without doubt who it was, who it had to be.
A pony crashed through her door and skidded to a halt on her floor. Hooves clopped anxiously.
Without even opening her eyes, Zecora said, "Happy Hearthswarming, Rainbow Dash, pray tell me why you crash?"
Rainbow said, 'Hi, Zecora. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"
"A favor on a holiday eve that is not a gift to receive? Is it some medicine to relieve a trouble you are in?"
Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, that, actually! I uh get these odd dreams every Hearthswarming -- not that I'm scared or anything -- but like, can you make them go away?"
Zecora glanced over her shelves. "I can help you, dear friend, to make the nightmares end. But first I know, what in your dreams troubles you so? By telling what it is you see helps you help me."
Rainbow walked over to one of Zecora's stools and slouched down atop it. "The dreams are all the same. So I'm at a really fancy Hearthswarming party, for some reason, I'm a serving mare. So I am carrying plates back and forth, and then I look at them, and it's a plate of meat with a pony skull on it. And then it talks to me." Rainbow looked a little sheepish. "And then I wake up."
Zecora nodded. "Dreams of flesh of your own kind are what haunt your mind. I can give you a brew, but there is something you must do. Look into that which troubles you, surely your fears are untrue. Seeing the truth for yourself is the best thing for your health. A visit to a Canterlot estate will reveal no ponies on the plate."
"You're right, Zecora, it's just my imagination. There's no way ponies are getting served up for Hearthswarming dinner, that's crazy talk. I'm going there right now and I'll prove everything's all normal."
And with that, Rainbow Dash took off with enough force to blow the masks off Zecora's wall. It took her seconds to breach the overcast snowclouds into the dazzling, cold sunlight of early winter.
The blue pegasus soared through the skies, shivering in the high altitude. Winter or summer, it was always chilly up here. From this altitudes, her troubles looked as puny as the ground. Cannibal parties in Canterlot? Crazy talk indeed. How would they even source the meat? They'd be doing it right under the snouts of Celestia's Royal Guard. Who would they eat? Canterlot was full of rich ponies, somepony that important would have family looking for them if they went missing. Who would even buy pony meat? The thought of chowing down on another equine made Rainbow Dash want to barf bomb. And besides, how would they even keep the secret? There was no way Canterlot practiced festive cannibalism, it just didn't make any sense, it just couldn't be possible. She knew Canterlot ponies. Heck, Twilight was a Canterlot pony. She didn't seem evil, definitely didn't keep filly rump roast in her fridge.
And speaking of Canterlot ponies... She knew just who to drop in on.
Half an hour later, Rainbow tucked in her wings as she swooped in on a house with green shingles. Her ears popped painfully as the pressure of the atmosphere reasserted itself. Dash crashed through the lower clouds and gained speed under gravity's tug. And then, right before careening into the holly-ringed flight platform, Rainbow stuck out her wings, braking hard, coming to land with a thud on the concrete.
Rainbow didn't quite have time to reach the door before it was flung open by a yellow pegasus in a Santa hat. "Lieutenant Dash? What the hay?"
"Commander Spitfire!" Rainbow Dash saluted. "Happy Hearthswarming, Ma'am!"
Spitfire shook her head. "At ease. We're not on duty, and it's Hearthswarming." She turned her back and walked inside, gesturing for Rainbow to follow her. "So, what're you here for, Dash?"
Dash smiled nervously. She hadn't thought of a cover story. Looking crazy in front of her commanding officer was not the looking she was hoping for. "Uh, just dropping in, ha hah."
She knew Spitfire didn't buy it. "Well, since you're here, make yourself at home, Crash." They passed through Spitfire's kitchen, her hostess presently pouring out mugs of hot cocoa."
"Thanks, Spitfire." Rainbow noticed a third mug. "Uh, who's is that?"
"That would be mine," said a sophisticated, masculine voice. And in from the adjoining room ambled in Fancy Pants. "Miss Rainbow Dash, how do you do?"
"Fine, thanks," she said.
He grabbed the drink in his magic and took a sip. "Do you have any plans for Hearthswarming?"
She looked at him. "No, why?"
He smiled. It was disarmingly charming, definitely not in any way menacing. How could such a sophisticated pony be a cannibal? "I was going to propose you join us at my little Hearthswarming dinner. Several guests have gone missing on short notice, so there is room at the table. Won't you join us? I would love to have you for dinner."
Did he just say missing? But this was a chance to get into a fancy house and do some sleuthing for herself. Rainbow resolved she'd say yes, sneak off, find the kitchen, and then enjoy the meal, knowing for sure there was absolutely no horseflesh being served. But his words... The way he leaned in just too close, staring at her... Rainbow took a step back.
"We'd love to," answered Spitfire before Rainbow could say anything.
"Splendid," said Fancy Pants, clapping his hooves.
The three of them finished their cocoa and presently were off to wherever it was. It definitely wasn't at Fancy Pants's mansion, Rainbow Dash soon realized. They were going the wrong way, not up to the noble districts, but down, lower and into where the poorer ponies lived. Insignificant ponies, the kind nopony knew, nor would recognize. She knew Fancy Pants was unlike most nobles with a stick up his plot about how noble his noble nobleness was, but surely the biggest holiday of the year, the very anniversary of the founding of Equestria, would demand his presence at a swanky soiree with the upper crust.
Then again, she knew he ran many orphanages and poor houses. Ponies came and went from them all the time. Homeless and refugees, without documents to their names...
How foalish -- that was an awful lot of trouble to go through for a little bit of meat.
They presently arrived at a larger than average house for that part of town. They were shown inside by a festively dressed servant. "Happy Hearthswarming, madam, sir," he greeted, bowing for each of them.
Inside, Rainbow beheld a sumptuous dining hall with a number of long tables. They were all decked out in festive decorations, just like in her dreams. She recognized the ponies there. Songbird Serenade, Jet Set, Upper Crust, Hoity Toity, the elite of Canterlot -- but why in this podunk place?
Songbird waved to her. "Rainbow! Welcome to the Hearthswarming Charity Dinner!"
Oh, it was for charity. Of course it was.
"Oh, Hey, Songbird! I'll be right with you, just let me freshen up first." Fancy Pants pointed her at some doors over past a giant candy cane and a row of holly berries.
Perfect, this was going even easier than Rainbow had anticipated.
Rainbow Dash snuck through the back halls of the orphanage. So far so good. Finding the kitchen would pose little problem, all she had to do was keep searching. She sniffed, or she could follow her nose. And then a mare in a maid outfit walked in front of her, carrying a serving tray. That worked, too.
As Rainbow Dash followed the staff mare, she smelled food. The scent grew stronger with every step. Roast chestnuts, kale, strong beet soup, fried hay, crushed watercress, potatoes cooked every way known to pony, fresh hot bread -- starchy, fruity, sweet smells.
And then she noticed it. The scent of iron.
Blood.
Or just hot pots and pans on metal burners?
Rainbow's heart sped up. She followed behind the serving mare more carefully, craning her neck as if a hint was going to furtively peek around the next corner.
And then they came to a set of double batwing doors. The stench of iron was undeniable. And not hot, but cold. And there was an oddly cool smell like that of the dentist's office.
The serving mare went inside. But did dare Rainbow? Nopony was stopping her, but...
"C'mon, Rainbow, don't be silly! What're you, scared of vegetables and a charcuterie board?" And with that, she pushed into the kitchen.
Inside the large kitchen was everything one would expect. Preparatory surfaces, ovens, stoves, pots, and sinks. There were the foods one would expect. Potatoes, celery, chestnuts, fruits, greens, beans, and berries. A perfectly normal pony feast.
Rainbow walked deeper in, the relief washing over her. She had gotten herself so worked up and all for nothing. Did they even have the facilities to even work with meat?
And then Rainbow saw it. Four limbs ending in hooves. A split open ribcage. A severed head with a horn. Skinned. The skull leering at her.
Pony!
Her dreams were right!
Rainbow fled, wings propelling her! She had to get out of here! She had to warn the guests what they were about to eat! She had to put as many miles between herself and the butchered pony carcass in the kitchen as physically possible!
And then she collided headlong with a serving mare, blacking out with a hard blow in a tangle of limbs.
When Rainbow Dash came too, she was in a comfortable chair, Fancy Pants looking down at her with concern.
He asked, "My dear, are you alright?"
"I think so..."
"I should hope so." He gave her a sanctimoniously scolding look. "You've had quite the tumble. What in heavens were you doing, fly-racing about my orphanage like that? Were you drunk?"
Could she tell him? She had to, she was too poor a liar, and if anyone could do something, it was him on his own property.
"Fancy Pants, listen, I have to tell you something."
He nodded. "Oh, do go, dear."
Rainbow said, "I thought I saw pony remains in the kitchen, and I was coming to tell you. I panicked and went a little too fast and had a teensy little crash."
Fancy Pants laughed, "How, droll, you still panic like this."
"Droll? Still?"
Fancy Pants said, "Have you forgotten how you said you would do anything to be a Wonderbolt?"
"You don't mean?"
"Yes, well, I arranged with Spitfire to have you make the team, in exchange for one little annual favor. You see, having an Element Bearer lends my Hearthswarming charity dinners quite the handsome prestige. However, you are not Rarity nor Twilight, so you have not the necessary manners to play the part of a dinner guest. Instead, you are, to say, amongst the help."
Fancy Pants produced a pocket watch and began to swing in back and forth with pulses of magic. "You're lying! I'd never help with, help with, THIS!"
"Ha-hem, indeed. Tis nothing a little hypnosis couldn't solve. The Times were quite clear you were most vulnerable to Discord's hypnosis, and you remain so to mine."
Rainbow was losing her focus. Her head was emptying like spilled water.
"Now, go get dressed and bring up the filly rump roast, we are famished."
"Yes, Master."