Satisfaction may be a guarantee for those living in Equestria, but it becomes increasingly more difficult to secure for those left behind on Earth. Unfortunately for Candle Light, her life is intertwined between Earth and Equestria.
Jeff Slater, in all of his life, couldn't say he ever expected to be turned into a pony. When he heard about such a thing on the news, he imagined it was just science fiction, just like the many other things that played on the TV. Equestria Online, as far as he understood, was just a popular game that his children played.
It made waking up as a pony at the end of his battle against cancer all the more surprising.
Now she is a mare named Candle Light, living in the fictional land of Equestria, a land that presents itself with unlimited resources and happiness that seems almost never ending. And all that's asked of her is to find friendship and seek satisfaction for herself.
Friendship and satisfaction can be easy things to come by in Equestria, but it's much more difficult to find for the ones left behind on Earth. Happiness, it seems, is a zero-sum game being played between ponies and humans. And Candle Light may just be caught in the middle of it.
Jeff Slater was suddenly opening his eyes, any pain he felt before having completely vanished from his mind. It was hard to believe such a great relief would last since it encompassed his whole body only moments before, even in spite of the morphine drip.
But he wasn’t in the hospital anymore, he could tell that much. The room he was in was brightly lit, but not sterile white like the hospital room he’d spent the better part of who knew how long laying in. This room seemed like it was lit by natural sunlight, which flowed through stained glass windows that hung near the ceiling. The ceiling itself was positioned high up, probably fifty feet from what he could tell, and made the place feel royal. The thought of this being a throne room came to mind.
And a throne room it was, one that was complete with the presence of the new cultural icon, Princess Celestia, sitting atop her throne and looking down at him. She had a gentle smile, one that seemed almost motherly to him, and wore golden regalia around her hooves and a simple crown on her head. Her mane flowed through a nonexistent breeze, and her purple eyes stared down at him kindly.
But what in the world was Celestia doing sitting in front of him? And why wasn’t he in his hospital room with his family? He couldn’t quite put together what had happened yet.
“Welcome to Equestria, my little pony,” the winged unicorn spoke, a voice that was both gentle and firm reaching Jeff’s ears. “We’re glad to have you with us at last.”
“Wait a minute! This is that Equestria Online thing I heard about in the news! What the heck am I doing here?”
And what the heck was going on with his voice? This certainly wasn’t what it was supposed to be. At least, it wasn’t how he remembered it. Granted, he was barely able to speak above a pained whisper the last few weeks, but still. This one was much more high pitched and feminine, the sound of it being completely unfamiliar to him.
His body was unfamiliar, too. Instead of being a human, he was an equine shaped creature, one complete with a mane and hooves on all four of the stumps that were his legs. He could see the tip of his new snout, as well as a horn sticking out of his forehead, like a unicorn. Turning around showed a purple tail attached to his now pinkish colored body, as well as other unexpected things. It made Jeff let out a sigh to see.
So then she was a pony and a girl now. That wasn’t something that happened every day.
But there were more important considerations than those two little things for now. “How is this possible?” she asked. “This is that computer game my kids play. Why am I here?”
“I’m sure you haven’t forgotten the battle with cancer you faced recently,” Celestia said lightly. “Once you went into a coma, your wife became your medical proxy, and allowed doctors to assist you with your emigration to Equestria. You fell into a coma approximately thirty six hours ago.”
“Oh. So then I’m dead? Well, I guess that I sure as heck am glad for this,” she said. “I thought this was about to start shaping up to be a suicide cult from what I heard on the news the last few months. You said it was my wife who decided I should be this… pony girl? But wait! I thought this was a Japanese thing only!”
Celestia giggled, which helped to set the mare a little more at ease. “To emigrate to Equestria, that is correct. Shortly after you went into a coma, accommodations were finalized to transport you to Tokyo for emigration. That’s why there was a thirty six hour gap between your coma and now.”
Jeff couldn’t say she ever remembered having a conversation like that with her family. But then again, she couldn’t say she really remembered much about the last few weeks. Being drugged up and in pain didn’t really make it easy to focus, or help to form new memories outside of pain and the sad faces of her family.
“As for your current form,” Celestia continued, “if you dislike it, there are an endless combination of adjustments that can be made. Whatever pony most fits who you are can be assembled. Would you like to go through it?”
“I might as well, right?” she shrugged, figuring there was nothing she could do but take the unfamiliar circumstances in stride. “I’m not sure why you started off making me a girl though. But is there any way to talk to my wife in here? My kids? How does this all work?”
“All of those things will be explained to you, soon, but first, let’s start with making a pony that best represents you. Do you have an idea of who you would like to be in mind?”
Jeff automatically asked to be a human, but when that idea was shot down under the explanation that she must be an equine, she could safely say didn’t have a clue what she wanted. It wasn’t like she was ever preparing to be turned into a pony, and she never played Equestria Online with her kids either, on account of her recent health.
Celestia didn’t seem to mind though, and the two of them went through testing out the different kinds of ponies and styles. There were essentially three types of equine: unicorns, like she was now, ponies with wings, like bats and what Celestia called pegasi, and earth ponies, which, despite their name, did not look like regular horses. Other than the choice between stallions and mares, they all had the same basic body plan. She couldn’t see why this was necessary. Would it change anything if she was a different kind of pony?
Eventually, the two settled on a unicorn– a stallion– that was basically the same as the mare Jeff was when he arrived, down to the color of his coat and mane. Walking around and trotting– he didn’t know how he was able to do that without issue– was easy, and the pony he was now felt normal enough. So normal in fact that he would’ve believed he was still alive and on Earth if not for being a horse, along with whatever impossible magic Celestia used to change him as they tested out different things. Still, he made a face, although he wasn’t quite sure why. There was nothing wrong with what he and the princess came up with.
“It’s okay to express your discomfort,” she told the stallion before her gently. “I hold no judgments here.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” he said. “It just… it feels okay. No different than usual, except being a pony. But it feels kind of lacking compared to what you picked out for me. Is that weird?”
“No more strange than your transformation from human into pony. I picked it out because I believed it would suit you and satisfy you, so it would make sense for you to prefer my choices.”
“I’m not a girl though,” he said. “Do you think you can come up with something like that, but as a man? Errr, stallion, I guess?”
“I believe your current form is the closest representation to you without being a mare as can be achieved, and I expect you to find my original choices to be superior.” With the light up of the princess’s horn, Jeff transformed back into a mare, the twin sister of the stallion she was just a moment ago.
The contrast was a little more clear now that she had shifted back and forth between stallion and mare so quickly. The stallion she was a moment ago felt expected, if such a word could be used to describe being a stallion. However, the mare she was now was more natural. It didn’t feel normal per se, but more innate. To what, she didn’t know. Her soul? Did she have a soul? Did she even have a brain anymore if she was inside a computer?
“I’m not a girl though,” she said again, her eyes glancing to the floor now, eyeing her new pinkish hooves. “It feels natural, and I’d be okay with this, I think. But I’m not a girl.”
“Hmmm. I understand. How about this?” Celestia started. “We can continue here working on your body, although I’m quite sure I’ve picked out the form best suited to your satisfaction in the mare you are now. As well, it seems right now we’re getting nowhere in terms of finding a pony better than what I’ve already picked out. Consider this proposal: explore Equestria in the form I’ve picked out for you, and see for yourself whether or not it suits you. If you decide that it does not, consider what specific aspects don’t suit you, and return to me so that we may make those changes. Changing your physical form in short timescales is not a service I typically offer, unfortunately, but I can make an exception in your case, if you would like. Does that sound agreeable?”
What was the mare supposed to do? Say no? It was starting to feel like it was taking a long time to pick out a body, and she was getting anxious to see what this world had in store. It wasn’t like she disliked what Celestia picked for her anyway. She did a much better job in one attempt than Jeff did going through it with her for the last half hour. Plus, if she could change to something else later if she decided she hated this, what harm would there be?
“How much time do I have to think about it?” the mare asked.
“Worry not. There is no time limit for you to consider how you feel,” Celestia told her, placing a wing on her back. “Whether an hour from now or a decade, the time to change will be available if you decide this isn’t a suitable form for you. Now though, you need a new name, as your human identity stops here in Equestria. Do you have any considerations? Or shall I pick one out for you?”
“Can I just go by Jeff Slater?” she asked, although with the way Celestia was talking, she had a feeling she already knew the answer. The princess confirmed it with a knowing smile and a shake of her head.
She was really going to have to go through this? Well, it was at least better than being in pain laying in a hospital bed, she decided. Certainly better than being dead. She might as well try and see how this played out. She didn’t imagine there was much else she could do anyway.
“Let’s see,” Celestia considered as the mare stood before her. “How does the name ‘Candle Light’ sound?”
“That’s one of those pony names people call each other in this game, right?” she asked. “I guess I’ll go with that if I can’t just be named Jeff. It’s as good as anything else, really.”
“Well then, Candle Light,” Celestia said, “all that’s left for your emigration to be complete is a cutie mark. It is out there somewhere for you to earn through discovering yourself. As well, I understand you’re eager to meet with your family again. That shall be arranged for you, although before that, I believe it would be good for you to take time to become accustomed to Equestria while you search for your cutie mark.”
“Okay, but what the heck is a cutie mark?” she asked. “Actually, before that, where the heck am I even going to be staying? I don’t have a house or a job or anything!”
“Accommodations have already been arranged for you,” the princess explained, “and as for working, feel free to work as little or as much as you’d like. There is no obligation to contribute on your part, as Equestria has unlimited resources. The only thing I ask is that you embrace the opportunity to receive satisfaction. Shall I show you to your accommodations now?”
With no objection from Candle Light, Celestia lit up her horn, casting a spell to take the two out of the castle and inside a much smaller place, by comparison at least. It was a large house the two now stood in, bigger than the actual home she had on Earth. Certainly big enough to accommodate herself, her wife, and all of her children. She and Celestia stood in the large open space that was the living room, one that opened up to a dining room behind it and a backyard patio beyond that. Behind them was a bedroom and a bathroom off to one side and a staircase presumably leading to more rooms on the other. If the rest of the house was as good as just the things she saw now, then this would have been her dream home.
“How the heck am I supposed to pay for this?” she asked, before remembering what the princess said earlier. “Are you really gonna just give it to me for free? No mortgage or taxes or anything else? How can you do that?”
“As I said, Equestria has limitless resources. As well, as I’ve said before, the only thing I ask from you, Candle Light, is that you seek satisfaction for yourself, regardless of the form that satisfaction takes.”
“What if I decide that being satisfied means laying around and doing nothing all day? Or, like, doing something that’s just a net drain on society? Like throwing car batteries into the ocean or something?”
Another little laugh came from Celestia, one that made Candle Light put up her first smile as a pony. “I don’t believe that to be the case, but if it was, then you would be more than free to do those things, so long as they truly satisfied you. Are there any other questions I can answer?”
There were a lot, enough to take up a lifetime of Candle Light’s time here. She didn’t bother asking how this was all possible, figuring it would just go over her head. Instead, she saved most of them for now and focus on a few important ones.
“Where am I?” she asked. “I mean, I know I’m in that computer game, Equestria Online, but where specifically am I now? What’s this place like?”
“Right now, you’re in a quiet town known as Summer’s Edge,” she explained. “The residents here are kind and more than eager to assist you with any of your needs. I believe this is a suitable place for you to grow accustomed to life here in Equestria, or live for longer periods if you desire. Your home is situated with a view of the ocean from your backyard, and there are mountain ranges for you to explore if you desire adventure in the opposite direction.”
That sounded nice. She enjoyed going to both places, although her home in Arizona made it a once a year occasion at best, to her misfortune. Now though, depending on how far away it was, she could probably go all the time, especially if she didn’t have a job. Maybe even today.
“And you’re just– you’re really giving all of this to me for free?” she had to ask again. “No strings attached?”
“That’s correct,” Celestia said gently. “Of course, if you grow tired of this town and these experiences, there are a limitless number of places to inhabit and sights to see, and an uncountable number of experiences to be had. I’m sure your children will be able to show you what I mean once you speak to them again. I know you’re already aching to see them, and they’ll visit you soon enough.
“For now though, enjoy your time here, Candle Light. Explore your surroundings and discover your cutie mark and find new experiences. If there’s ever anything you need, no matter where you are in Equestria, you can call me forth at any time. Simply press the picture of my cutie mark, and we may speak. Or if you prefer, you can simply use it as a gentle reminder that I’m here if you need.
“Welcome to Equestria, Candle Light,” Celestia said again, just like before, radiating a powerful aura of completeness. “We’re glad to have you here with us at last.”
It wasn’t until Celestia finally left Candle Light alone in her new home that the weight of exactly what was happening– or more accurately, what had happened– started to settle upon her.
It was already feeling like decades since she’d been a human, but according to Celestia, it had been less than two days. Less than two days ago, Candle Light was on Earth, dying of cancer, and now she was in an online game as a horse girl. It was an incredibly strange thought, almost disorienting. This was like something out of a science fiction movie, except real. How could this be real?
She didn’t know, but she was absolutely grateful for it. She heard on the news that this was going to turn into a mass genocide program or a suicide cult at Celestia’s hands since they let people ‘emigrate’ to Equestria for enough money in Japan. Of course, the news that she got mostly came from the TV in the hospital room she’d grown accustomed to, but still. She was fairly certain at the time that nothing like this was possible. And now here she was. If she didn’t have to be a pony, this would be perfect.
But even that was a small complaint. Her new body didn’t feel that bad, in either the species or sex department. Everything moved naturally, and she wasn’t in a hospital bed dying in pain anymore, so those things were good. Although she was naked, something she was only just now noticing somehow. She hoped there were clothes in this house, because going out without any would not be ideal.
Her search turned up almost what she expected. A closet near the bedroom on the ground floor had clothes in it; there were many different types and styles. Button up shirts and ties, skirts and hair bows, hats and socks– but nothing like bottoms that she could see. Nothing at all to improve modesty. The closest things she saw were a few dresses near the back of the closet and some lingerie. Not ideal.
The bedroom next to it was nice though. Impressive, actually. There was a master bed along one wall, and a shelf of books about all kinds lining another. Dressers and a desk with an electric lamp sat along a third wall, and the fourth was almost entirely made of glass, showing the same view of the ocean that Celestia said could be seen from her backyard. Candle Light found herself envious of the view until she remembered that the princess had just given her this home. Did this count as her home though if she was in a computer? Was any of this actually real?
She didn’t know, and decided not to think about it too hard. Instead, she turned to the mirror to get a good look at herself now. Strange was the best way to describe how she felt about what she saw. It was still exactly as Celestia had picked out and insisted she give a try. A unicorn mare, one that was a bit pudgy like she used to be before cancer had turned her into a stick figure. She didn’t know how she could tell, but she didn’t think she looked like she was in her forties anymore. She seemed closer to a girl in her early twenties now, probably about twenty two. That was somewhere around the age she had her first child, Daphne.
She had a pink coat– no, it was actually pastel red– and a mane and tail that could be best described as periwinkle. Her mane was long, long enough to go past her shoulders. It started off straight, and ended in curls, ones that almost started to twist back up into the air when they touched her shoulders. Her tail was the same way; it was long and ended in a single curl. Both contained highlights, with streaks of lavender and subtle blues running through both and complimenting the overall periwinkle color.
She tilted her head and stared into the emerald green eyes reflected back at her in the mirror, ones that were a departure from the blue she had as a human. It felt deeply weird to see, but not bad. She was certainly pretty for a horse, and a pair of glasses might have made the look she had now almost perfect. Nothing about this pony stuck out in her mind as being unsuitable, but that didn’t mean something would never come to mind.
She’d probably change herself later once she thought about what she wanted. Certainly she’d be a stallion once she had time to consider how to build him. She couldn’t stay a mare if she was going to live here forever. She’d be fine with the novelty of it for now however. Maybe the absence of novelty was why the stallion counterpart to her current body felt like it was lacking.
Once she decided she was done looking herself over, she wandered about the house to check everything out. Just as she expected, there were five bedrooms, one for herself and her wife and each of her kids. Was Celestia planning on turning the rest of her family into ponies? Candle Light wasn’t quite sure about that idea yet. She’d only just gotten here, and still had to be sure this wasn’t some sort of trick, not that she knew how it could be.
She noticed that there were no TVs or computers, or really any technology used for entertainment outside of a CD and a record player, even though there were appliances like stoves and a dishwasher and a currently empty refrigerator. The lack of technological entertainment seemed to be made up for by the presence of books, as well as board games and card games. Minus a TV, it wasn’t very different from the kind of entertainment she might have had when she was a kid. She imagined it was this way to emphasize socializing with other people. Err, ponies.
The backyard made her grin widely when she saw it. The patio stretched out quite a ways, and had multiple tables and a grill for hosting barbecues like she liked to do. There was a built in swimming pool, as well as a swing set and a hammock contained within what looked to be about a quarter acre of area. The sky was gray and the air was cool, green grass gently blowing in the wind as she looked the property over. The ocean couldn’t have been more than a mile or so away, from her estimate. It looked absolutely perfect.
“Okay, this is cool,” she admitted aloud with a large, happy smile on her face. The first chance she got, Candle Light would be inviting friends over to show this place off. That was, once she had some friends to invite over. That meant it was probably time to see the town.
She found the house she now inhabited sat on top of a hill, with a paved road leading up to it. It wasn’t wide enough for cars, and didn’t have any of the markings she’d see on a regular road, but it kept her hooves from getting dirty. She tried not to think about how she was able to walk without issue despite being a horse now, lest the thought make her trip over her hooves. Could she also move her ears and tail on command, too?
The first sight of people– or ponies rather– made her cheeks warm and brought back to her mind her lack of clothes. It made her feel a little better that none of these ponies had clothes either, but it was still uncomfortable. The ponies here seem not to notice her now slightly red cheeks though, because before she was past the first house down the hill, someone was walking up to and speaking to her.
“Hey there, neighbor!” the pony, a mare like she was, called as she trotted up. Candle Light stared at her hooves, feeling completely flustered as the stranger spoke to her. The mare didn’t seem to either notice or care though, and grabbed one of her hooves in her own to shake. How was shaking hooves even possible?
“My name’s Misty Rose,” she said enthusiastically. “I live in the first house down from you. You must be Candle Light, right? I heard that somepony would be moving into town soon, but I thought it’d be a few more weeks!”
“Wait, you heard about me?” she asked, completely confused. “How? I got here, like, an hour ago! Err, I guess she said it’s been like two days, but still!”
Misty shrugged, but still smiled. “I just heard around town that somepony new named Candle Light would be moving in, so that must be you, right?”
She was the same height as Candle Light was, and must have been about the same age, because Misty looked like she was actually in her forties. She had a bright blue coat with a dark blue mane and blue eyes. Incredibly boring to look at, and made even more so by her lack of wings or horn. What did Celestia call this type of pony again?
“Are you from Earth?” she asked. “Is that how you know me? Did you used to be a human, too? Or are you an AI?” She didn’t remember much of what she was told about this place before she was uploaded here, but she heard on the news that most of the ponies in this game were AI characters.
The mare looked completely confused by her question, more confused than Candle Light was expecting. “I– I’m not sure what you mean,” she got back in return. “I’m an earth pony, sure, but I haven’t ever heard of a place called Earth. I’ve lived here in Summer’s Edge all my life. Haven’t heard of anypony from a place called that.”
She didn’t sound like an AI, but how would Candle Light ever know? She guessed that was probably intentional, but still. The thought of talking to a computer program rather than actual people felt a bit strange.
“I don’t understand. You look older than I am,” she said. “And this game hasn’t been out for that long. How could you have lived here for all your life?”
Misty Rose seemed only to get more confused, and tilted her head while sending a weird look to Candle Light. “I don’t know what game you mean, but I’ve definitely lived here all forty seven years I’ve been alive. But, uh, how about I get to showing you around, Candle? Or would you rather just be called Light?”
“I guess it doesn’t matter. Jeff is the best though if you wanna call me something. But, um, do you know anywhere that sells actual clothes?” Even if this was probably just an AI instead of a human being, and even if they were technically animals, it still felt embarrassing to go out like she was in front of everyone.
“Sure do, Candle! Follow me!”
The mare followed behind her, instinctively tucking her tail as she saw more smiling horses waving hello her way. It was absolutely embarrassing, not to mention, a little creepy. But she felt like in just a few minutes, she was already getting used to this. None of them wore clothes or had cars or seemed like they were annoyed or unhappy, but none of them seemed too overbearing with positivity. Like her body, it didn’t seem normal, but the atmosphere of Summer’s Edge certainly felt natural.
The town looked nice and clean, and seemed to fit in with the surroundings. It seemed like a seaside town out of a place like Maine or Massachusetts. It was small, but not too small. Large enough it was that it had neighborhoods and gridded pathways, but it was small enough that you could tell what the main street of the city was. She wouldn’t have been too surprised if there was only one elementary, middle, and high school in this place, unlike the dozens there were in her hometown.
She appreciated the gray clouds and the salty smell in the air and the little shops she saw. It was quite a change from her previous life living in a city in the desert that served home to hundreds of thousands of people. She wouldn’t have been surprised if Summer’s Edge had less than five thousand. The cool air and the sound of gulls overhead and the perfect overcast sky– she certainly appreciated it. Being a horse girl who lived in a big house in a small, seaside town inside a computer certainly wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
“This is the part of town where everypony does their shopping,” Misty Rose explained as the two walked along, many shops displaying advertising for everything under the sun. Groceries and flowers and toys and music and an art store and everything else that could be thought of. There were restaurants farther down, and off in the distance, if the two walked far enough, was a pier and a boardwalk, the beach dead ahead from there.
“If you just moved in, you probably need a lot of stuff for your house, right? I can help you with carrying it all. Or I’m sure somepony here has a basket or two for you to use. Oh, do you have any money? I can help you with that if you need.”
Okay, maybe the friendliness was a little bit unnatural. “You don’t need to do all that for me,” Candle Light told her. “I mean, I don’t have any money, but I’m sure I can get a job somewhere.” Although didn’t Celestia say Equestria had unlimited resources? Did she really need to get a job if that was the case? Would it burden this pony to take her money?
Apparently not, because she said as much a second later. “It won’t hurt me any, promise,” Misty Rose assured her. “Besides, a pony who just moved in needs it more than I do. Now let’s see if we can get you some stuff. You said clothes, right? I bet you need food, too, and entertainment.”
The mare decided it was probably best to just go with it until she got settled and understood this place more. “Sure,” she shrugged. “Why not?”
Misty Rose stayed true to her goal of helping Candle Light with shopping, and paid for all of the new mare’s things without issue. Candle Light felt a bit bad about it, but if Celestia truly meant what she said when she said Equestria had unlimited resources, then it wouldn’t be an issue.
The two were eventually bringing up a couple of carts of things to the mare’s new home. Food and drinks and a few things to help spice up the house, but no clothes. Candle Light kind of expected that there would be nothing to cover her flank, and wasn’t surprised when the clothing store showed only items like she found in the closet already. Besides, it felt like the embarrassment was quickly fading, which was a good thing.
They did have glasses though, not that she needed them anymore. But she bought a pair for the look, a square framed, brown striped set that made her appearance in the mirror seem complete. Misty Rose and the shop owner complimented her appearance, and Candle Light even gave a little smile herself at what she saw. Glasses were probably what the stallion version of herself was missing, too.
It was probably a couple of hours before both she and Misty Rose were back up the hill with the baskets and were putting things away in the large home. More and more, this whole scenario processed itself in her mind as natural, but she knew it certainly wasn’t normal. It would take time getting used to all of this.
“You know, some of the construction ponies I saw building this house told me they’d get it done in a week,” Misty said, making light conversation. “I didn’t think they’d actually do it, but here it is! And now you’re here!”
“Wait, they were actually building this house waiting for me to move in?” she asked. “Was it for me specifically, or were they just building it to build it?”
“No, they said it was for you, Candle Light,” Misty explained. “I remember.” Then she paused and raised an eyebrow, asking, “Were you not planning to move here?”
“No! I moved here because– well, I didn’t choose to move here. Like I said, I’m supposed to be a human on Earth, but I guess that AI somehow convinced my family to upload me. I mean, I’m glad I’m not dead, but I didn’t think I’d be a pony anytime soon. Or ever.”
“Huh. Well, I don’t know what would’ve killed you if you didn’t move here, but you can tell me about it if you wanna while I help you get all of this stuff put away. If you want my help anyway.”
Candle Light accepted it, and told Misty about what happened to her recently and how she just became a pony. Her new acquaintance seemed confused when she explained about how this was all actually a computer simulation and how she really came from Earth and was only here because she got cancer, but she didn’t question the explanation. She still couldn’t tell if she was an AI or not, something that was still strange to think about, but eventually she decided that it didn’t matter as the conversation continued.
“So then you’re married?” Misty asked as she started to help the mare put food into the fridge and cupboard. “Do you have any foals?”
Somehow, she knew the term ‘foal’ was a stand in for ‘children’. “Yeah, I have four of them. And this game– well, I don’t know if I can call it a game anymore if I’m inside of it– but Equestria Online is basically all they play and talk about. Even my six year old daughter.”
“I don’t know what you mean by that, but the way you’re smiling talking about them makes me sure they’re lovely. Can I ask what they’re names are? Or what about your husband? I only heard about one pony moving in for now. They’re not around town are they?”
“No, but what do you mean my– oh!” Candle Light’s face suddenly became red, but she quickly corrected the comment Misty Rose made. “I have a wife. I’m not actually a girl. I’m just being a girl for now while I think about what kind of body I wanna have.” She felt a little uncomfortable, but not upset or put off by the assumption. After all, she liked how the glasses completed her look.
“Ooohhh, I think I finally understand what you mean when you talk about all that uploading and Earth stuff!” the pony said in realization. “You’re from the Outer Realm, aren’t you? And you actually just moved to Equestria for the first time! I get it! I’ve never met somepony from there, but I’m pleased to meet you, Candle! I can help you get settled into Equestria if you want me to, like I can help you with Summer’s Edge. It’ll be fun!”
“The Outer Realm?” she asked. “Is that what you guys call Earth?”
"I don't know what Earth is," Misty answered, "but ponies who didn't used to live in Equestria until Princess Celestia found them are from the Outer Realm, like you. Most ponies in Summer's Edge don't know about that, but I do, because I heard a group of ponies talking about it while I was in town a couple of weeks ago."
It sounded like they were talking about the same thing to Candle Light, but she couldn’t recall if she ever heard her children talking about Equestria Online in those terms. She decided to just shrug her shoulders and go with it.
“Well, I think we mean the same thing,” she said. “But yeah. I have a wife, and four kids– three daughters and a son. All of them teenagers except for my daughter, Olivia. My oldest is almost eighteen, actually.”
“Oh, hey! That sounds about as old as my foals are!” Misty smiled. “I have two daughters– twins– who are about to turn eighteen in a few months, and a son who’s gonna be fifteen soon. Maybe your foals can meet mine!”
“With a house as big as this, maybe,” Candle Light nodded in agreement. “I wonder when I’m gonna see my kids though,” she continued. “Hopefully today, but I don’t know how the heck that’s gonna work. I wonder how they’re feeling about all of this… You said there were other humans? Err, ponies from Earth?”
“Mhm. Well, I know one pony. Her name is Soft Step, and I overheard her talking about it with another mare named Careful Calling. We can go talk to her if you wanna. She’s usually at the library.”
“Maybe later. But Celestia told me there was a beach here,” Candle Light said. “And I saw one from my window. Do you think you can show me again where it’s at once I finish putting stuff away? I wanna see what it looks like.”
“Can do!”
Before long, the two were stepping along a beach, Candle Light taking it all in for the first time. She hadn’t checked a clock up to this point yet, but judging by the sky, it was the afternoon, one that was turning into evening. The sun occasionally tried to peek out from behind the clouds, but never fully did as water lapped at the two mares’ hooves. A soft breeze blew through their manes, and Candle Light took a deep breath to process all of the senses around her.
How could something like this have been real at all? She had absolutely no idea, and yet here she was. The sand felt just as real and the waves sounded just as noisy as they did on Earth. Wasn’t she just on Earth a few minutes ago? It seemed like it had been forever since she’d been turned into a horse. If she was inside a computer, did that mean she was going to live forever? How long was this going to last?
“Are you okay, Candle?” Misty Rose asked as the mare sat on her haunches and closed her eyes, breathing heavily.
The pink unicorn didn’t say anything immediately, allowing herself to breathe for a long moment. “I’m just–” she started. “I– I didn’t really expect to wake up and become a horse today,” she said. She took another breath, and continued, “I’m obviously glad I’m not dead, but I wasn’t ready for all of this.” She let out a nervous laugh, and then sighed.
“Well I don’t know what a human is,” Misty told her, extending a hoof, “but I’ve been a pony all my life, and I have to say, there’s nothing better.” Candlelight took the offered help to stand up, and then took another breath to fully regain her composure.
“I guess I get to be the judge of that,” she replied, “since I’ll have been both. I wonder what this is gonna mean for my wife and kids though…”
“I bet they’d move in with you if you asked Princess Celestia,” Misty Rose suggested. “Your house looked big enough, I think.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Candle Light nodded. She wasn’t quite sure about that just yet, but she didn’t see why not for the future, since she was obviously here. So long as this wasn’t some sort of trick, although she didn’t see any way how it could be. She hoped she would get to see them soon either way.
“Since you helped me with all that stuff and went shopping for me,” the mare started, moving on, “did you want to get dinner soon? I don’t really know what kinds of things horses eat, but I used to cook dinner for my family every night before I got cancer, so I could probably come up with something.”
“Sure!” Misty Rose smiled. “Or even better, I can invite you over to my house and you can meet my family! It’ll be fun!”
“Sounds good to me,” Candle Light agreed. “But not yet. I wanna take in the beach for a little while.”
She turned around again and walked along the sand before heading into the water, taking in all of the familiar sensations in new ways.
It was a long week for Daphne after her father’s funeral, one of the longest of her life.
It was one that began with her mother and siblings agreeing that, instead of holding out hope that their father would wake back up and get better, he should be shipped off to Japan for a fantasy procedure that would supposedly upload his brain to Equestria Online. As impressive as the game was, the things she heard about being able to upload people sounded like nothing but science fiction to her. Of course, her opinion about the matter was outweighed by the rest of her family.
The life insurance money came in remarkably quickly, just a day after the operation was finished and her father was declared dead. It was a pretty good one that paid out a lot of money; they’d definitely be able to live off the payout for a few years after paying for hospital bills. But what the heck good was money when they no longer had a father in their life? Daphne knew it was unlikely, but she couldn’t help but wonder if that was why their mother agreed like her siblings did.
She immediately felt bad thinking that about her when she saw how poorly her mother was handling it. She was particularly tearful at the funeral that ended Daphne’s long week, a week that left Daphne herself feeling a mixture of numbness and depression. She flopped into her bed on Saturday evening after hearing for the ten thousandth time about how people were sorry for her loss and talking twice as much about the decision to let him go to Japan after several months of battling cancer. She wouldn’t have been surprised if she slept for the rest of her life. Seventeen years old was too young to be losing a father, especially one who was just forty-one.
She didn’t get back up until late Sunday afternoon, the sun shining in her eyes through the window as she did. Somehow, even after last week, the days still kept coming, and would always come forever. She guessed that meant she should get out of bed.
The rest of her family– what was left of it anyway– was hanging out in the living room like they always were. Her six year old sister, Olivia, watched a cartoon on the sofa next to their mother, while her little brother and sister lay on the ground as they used their phones. The mood didn’t feel very much different than it had since their father was first diagnosed. The air itself felt slightly depressed, the atmosphere somehow listless like Daphne's family was right now.
“Did you hear anything about Dad?” she asked casually to no one in particular. She wasn’t exactly sure why she did since she never supported the decision, but it wasn’t like it could be taken back now. No matter how much fiction it all was that she heard about.
“I haven’t played since Monday,” her little brother, Steven, said without looking up. “I’m pretty sure you can just check and see where he’s at though if you ask Princess Celestia, can’t you?”
She wanted to argue and say that she wasn’t the one who agreed to do that to him, but didn’t. Instead, she sighed and flopped onto the couch next to her little sister, closing her eyes as she leaned her head back.
“I can head online if you’re about to, Daph,” Liana said, looking up from her phone as she lay on the floor. “I haven’t played recently either, and some of my friends were asking about where I was. I could check with you.”
“I’ll just do it myself,” she said, letting out a long breath. “Later though. Not right now… What’s for dinner, Mom?”
She barely heard the answer. Everything seemed so monotonous. More so than it’d been for the last several months. Her father was actually gone. Sure, it might have felt like that before, with him having to live in the hospital for the last month or so of his life, but it was permanent now. There was no coming back, no hope of getting better– nothing. A copy of her father as a pony created by whatever scientists working on Equestria Online would only ever be just that. A copy.
Daphne could only let out a breath as she stared at the ceiling. She’d have to see what the copy was all about eventually, wouldn’t she?
Not right then though. She didn't know what she should do with her afternoon, but she didn't think she wanted to deal with something like that right then. Maybe making her little sister check with her was a good idea.
The afternoon seemed to drag on endlessly, but eventually the sky changed as the day turned into night. The dinner of peas and macaroni and fries was a far cry from their father's cooking, but no one complained. After that, her mother returned to her bedroom and Steven and Liana went their own ways, leaving Daphne to take her place next to Olivia back on the couch. The girl had taken her focus off of cartoons and put it on her PonyPad. She might have played Equestria Online more than anyone in her family, in spite of her age. It wasn’t too big of a surprise since My Little Pony was originally a show for girls her age.
“What are you doing, Livvy?” she asked as she looked over her little sister’s shoulder at her screen. It wasn’t in Canterlot where she, like most people, usually played, or the shard the two shared together. The town she was in now was much smaller, and her filly sized unicorn was by the beach making something.
"I'm building a clubhouse," the little girl said simply. "It's gonna be for me and Dad. Princess Celestia said he lives here now."
"Yeah? Well I don't see him," Daphne replied as she quickly scanned Olivia's screen. She didn't know how eager she was, but she was certainly interested to see what kind of copy they had come up with. Not that she could tell anything with just a look around this one part of the beach. Even if he was here, she had no idea what he was supposed to look like.
Their father wasn't here though. He wasn’t anywhere anymore. Daphne wished her family hadn't decided against her on her father giving up whatever chance he had left to fight. Or that the insurance agency and those doctors wouldn’t have manipulated her family with all that talk about emigration. It wasn’t that difficult to convince her mother with that talk about ‘saving’ him.
She wasn't gonna tell all of that to her six year old sister. "Did she say when?" Daphne asked instead. Apparently it should've happened a couple of days ago from what she heard.
“I dunno,” the little girl shrugged, not looking up from the screen. “I just know Princess Celestia said he lives here now, so I’m building a clubhouse. Maybe he’s gonna see us soon.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Daphne said flatly, but her sister didn’t notice. “Did you want any help building your clubhouse?”
“No. I can do it by myself,” Olivia said, the conversation ending with that.
Daphne didn’t press, and instead focused on other things, most of which was staring at the ceiling listlessly, offering only occasional glances to her little sister. She might have been curious about the copy they would’ve created, but she didn’t know if she was ready to meet it just yet. Especially not after her family thought a copy was better than a chance for their father.
She was barely paying attention when Olivia giggled and suddenly started speaking with enthusiasm in her voice. Daphne stole another look at her screen to see Olivia's filly, a small blue and orange unicorn named Warm Spell, laughing softly at an embarrassed looking pink coated unicorn. Daphne had never seen the mare before in her life.
"Hehe, I didn't know you were a girl, Dad," her sister said. "You look pretty!”
“I’m just being a mare right now while I think about what kind of stallion I want to be,” she said bashfully. “This is just what Celestia picked out for me. But thanks, sweetie. I think you look very pretty, too.”
“Oh! I also made a clubhouse for us!” she exclaimed, the filly on the scream tapping her hooves excitedly. “Come look at it!”
Daphne blinked at the sight, but didn’t say anything, only carefully watching the interaction with silent curiosity. If this mare was intended to be the copy they were going to create of their father, it was certainly an interesting one. Maybe the AI thought they'd want a girl for some reason, since there were more girls in Daphne's family? She had a few ideas.
She said none of them, and instead continued to look over Olivia's shoulder as she played. Her sister seemed like she was having fun talking to the character, and the mare seemed like she moved and acted in a more realistically human way than the other characters in the game. She wasn’t her father though.
“And this is the clubhouse,” her little sister said. “This is where we’re gonna live and play. It’s not finished yet though. I want it to be pink and yellow and orange.”
“That sounds very nice, honey,” the mare said politely, Daphne watching as she turned her head from wall to wall to take it in. “I can’t wait to see it when it’s done. I got a house today to live in when I woke up here though.”
“Oh. How come you decided to live here instead of Canterlot with me?” Olivia asked curiously.
“I don’t know. This is just where Celestia put me. It’s called Summer’s Edge, I think.” Then Daphne watched the screen as the mare smiled and touched Olivia’s filly’s nose. It was a move just like her father would do, and something Daphne remembered experiencing all the time when she was little.
“You can live here with me though,” she continued. “I just got a big house to live in, big enough for you and your sisters and your brother. You could even have your own room.”
“I wanna see!” Olivia said excitedly, before she added something else. “Also, Daffie is here, too. She’s looking at my PonyPad.”
“Hey, honey!” the mare that was intended to be her father waved with a bright smile on her face. She turned her head slightly, enough that it almost seemed like she could see out into the real world and was looking straight at her. The only thing that stopped it from being completely creepy was how quickly the mare glanced down at her hooves with growing redness on her face.
“Uh, hi,” Daphne replied simply, flatly. She held herself back from calling this mare ‘dad’.
“Um, can she hear me?”
“Mhm,” Olivia nodded down at the screen. “She said ‘hi’.” Then the girl continued, “I wanna see your new house, Dad.”
Daphne didn’t watch her sister play for that much longer. Within a few minutes, as the mare was showing her around some house on top of a hill, she’d headed up to her room to flop back in bed. She’d only been awake for a few hours, but she felt exhausted already, like a weight was tying her down and forcing her to drag her feet behind her.
She lay on her back to stare at the ceiling, a lot of thoughts on her mind, but no particular one coming to the forefront. She just felt tired, and closed her eyes a few seconds later, once she decided the ceiling had nothing to offer her. It was the start of a new week, technically the first full one without her father. Although given how long he’d been in the hospital for before he died, it was just another week for her. She still couldn’t help but blame her family a bit for the choice they made about him.
It would’ve been amazing though if it really was him. Daphne cried hard when the doctor said he wouldn’t wake up again, and she realized it would be the last time she spoke to him.
She only wondered briefly about what the future had in store, one where you could pay to kill yourself and create a copy for your family. Very brief was the thought before she let out a breath and considered nothing else.
The ocean was strange to be in as a pony, but swimming wasn't all that difficult. It was just a matter of Candle Light kicking her legs in the right way to get her to move forward. Not to mention, the water was perfect in spite of the overcast sky. Misty Rose might have been content to stay in the sand, but Candle Light was seizing the opportunity to take it all in. Warm, salty water without the sun's glare in her eyes was perfect.
She didn't swim out too far– not today anyway. She didn't have goggles, but a quick check when she opened her eyes underwater showed starfishes and seaweed. Presumably other interesting things lurked beyond her, farther out from the beach and deeper in the ocean. Snorkeling or scuba diving would be fun to do if she could.
It was about a couple of hours before the mare came out of the water, her body dripping wet as she made her way back up the beach. Misty giggled at the sight of the mare as Candle Light shook her mane, and the unicorn smiled back. So far, dying and being reincarnated into a pony seemed like a great turn of events, if Celestia really meant everything she said before. She wondered what other things there would be to do in this town in the future.
"Are you ready to get some dinner, Candle?" Misty Rose asked. "Because let me tell you, I'm starving."
“That sounds fine to me,” the unicorn agreed as she stood in place and breathed deeply from the exercise. “Something savory and salty sounds like it’d be tasty. I can still cook for you if you want, even if it’s at your house. I’d like to think I’m a pretty good chef myself.”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” Misty smiled, then tilted her head to look over Candle Light’s shoulder. “You said you had a filly, right?” she started, pointing a hoof behind her. “Is that one yours? She looks like she’s coming up this way.”
Candle Light turned around, and sure enough, a young looking filly was trotting up towards them. She was an orange one, with a dark blue mane and emerald green eyes, just like her. She didn’t know how, but Candle Light judged her to be around five or six years old, considering her small stature and small unicorn horn. It reminded her of her daughter, Olivia, but there was absolutely no way to know if this was her. She felt her cheeks becoming red anyway as she subtly crossed her hind legs and tucked her tail in a bit.
“Have you seen my Dad?” the filly asked innocently, Candle Light knowing by just voice inflection alone that this was her daughter. She didn’t sound any different, but even if she did, she would definitely know it was her.
“Princess Celestia said he would be here, but I don’t know what he looks like. I’m building a clubhouse for him over there.” She pointed a hoof behind her to a small, wooden, semi built structure in the sand.
The mare's cheeks had become almost blood red from the pink they were supposed to be, but she still managed to send out a grin. "Are you trying to give me a super late father's day present?" Candle Light asked lightheartedly. "Because that sounds like the kind of thing only my wonderful little princess Olivia would do for me."
"Daddy!" The filly wrapped her hooves around the mare, a hug Candle Light returned with a small pat on her back. Then the girl pulled back and laughed softly as she took her in.
"Hehe, I didn't know you were a girl, Dad," she said. "You look pretty!”
Candle Light only became more and more embarrassed, but didn’t mention it much beyond simplistically explaining that she would be a stallion later before her daughter showed off the clubhouse she was making. It was nice to hear from her, although it was strange seeing Olivia as a pony. Not too bad though when she remembered that she was probably on the couch in the living room looking at her PonyPad. The unicorn sounded just like her little girl, too.
She looked at the little building the filly made, talking to her daughter the whole time, outside of a quick wave to the sky that she assumed her eldest daughter, Daphne, could see her through. It made her wonder when she’d see her other kids, as well as her wife, but she didn’t ask about that just yet. She knew if she could see Olivia, it wouldn’t be any trouble for her to meet with them, too.
She took the small unicorn to her new house to show her it, Misty Rose smiling at the scene and following a few yards behind the two. “Are you being good for your mother while I’m away, Livvy?” Candle Light asked. “How are your sisters and your brother?”
“I am, and they’re good,” the filly said as the mare watched her light up her horn to lift things around her in the home and put them in place. What kind of magic was that? Could she do that, too? There was going to be a lot to learn about being a pony, it seemed.
“We had macaroni and peas for dinner today,” she said, “because Mom doesn’t cook as good as you. And Liana said she wanted to see you, too, but she just stayed in her room and watched TV after dinner. And Daffie slept all day, but she does that a lot now.” A pause came, then she exclaimed, “Oh! My pony name is Warm Spell! What’s your pony name, so I can tell everyone?”
“My pony name is ‘Dad’, just like my Earth name,” the mare joked lightly, earning a giggle from her daughter. “But Celestia named me Candle Light. I guess that means I should call you ‘Spelly’ then, Livvy?”
“Uh huh, but you can call me Livvy, too, Dad,” she explained. “I’ve never been to this town before, but I’m gonna live with you, and my secret clubhouse is gonna be on the beach, and only we can play in.”
Candle Lights’s smile widened as she heard it. Her daughter was acting just as nice and kind as she always did, and it made her heart flutter even now when she was a pony. She almost hoped she would never grow up, because she was just too precious.
Would Candle Light even get to see her grow up from inside a computer?
“But I gotta go to bed now,” she finished, interrupting the thought. “Mom says you gave us lots of money, and we have to go shopping tomorrow, and sign up for school on Tuesday. I’m gonna be in first grade!”
“I know that, silly Livvy. Tell your mother and Stevie and Liana and Daffie that I love them, alright?” she instructed before giving the filly a hug. “I love you lots.”
“I love you, Daddy,” she replied, same as she always did, before the filly waved a hoof. “Bye! See you later!” Then her horn lit up and she disappeared.
“How was she able to do that?” Candle Light asked Misty, although she didn’t turn around. She instead blinked ahead at the stop her daughter– well, her avatar, anyway– had just been.
“You mean teleportation?” the mare replied as she stood close to Candle Light again. “I bet lots of unicorns can do that with enough practice. It just takes a little bit of magic. Your filly must be really good at magic though. You said she was six? I bet she’s really something if she can do magic so young.”
“I guess that means I’ll have to ask her for advice on what to do then,” Candle Light smiled. Misty Rose laughed at that.
“I’m sure you will. Foals always seem to be brighter than us old ponies, especially your little filly. She seems absolutely precious. Reminds me of my own kids when they were young.”
“Yeah…”
She blinked again, and sniffled, and suddenly, before she knew it, her tears were hitting the ground as she scrunched her face up. She was still facing away from Misty Rose, but closed her eyes and turned her head further regardless. The mare responded by casually wrapping a hoof around her shoulder and pulling her in lightly.
"I think I know how you're feeling," she said. Not softly, but her voice was still sweet and comforting anyway. "Missing your family, aren't you?"
"I am," Candle Light admitted, quickly wiping her eyes with a hoof as she took a breath. "I know it’s only been a day, but I don't know if I've ever gone so long without seeing my wife and kids." Sure, Olivia talked to her, but that was it. It wasn't her daughter. It was just a character Olivia spoke through.
"Well I'm positive with a house as big as you have," Misty Rose continued, "your family will move in with you before you know it. No way can you let all that space go to waste. You said Princess Celestia gave it to you? I don’t know much about the Outer Realm, but I do know Princess Celestia would never let anypony be unhappy. You can put your bits on that.”
“Yeah, maybe,” the unicorn nodded, wiping her eyes again. She didn’t know if she hoped so quite yet, but after just a few hours, she was leaning in that direction. In just a few hours– well, the one’s she’d been awake for anyway– the world she now inhabited was proving itself to be ten times the place Earth was, in both big and small ways. She got an enormous house by the ocean for free, had neighbors who had no trouble buying things for her, was told it didn’t matter if she got a job or not, and could probably do magic in real life. The only thing that was missing was her family.
How much was her life insurance policy again? Depending on how much it cost, she bet they could all follow after her without much trouble.
But those weren’t thoughts for now. There was a lot for Candle Light to see and do before she started thinking about saying something like that to her family. After all, she might have been in a computer, but as far as she understood, it was still death, was it not?
She took another breath to gather herself, blinking away any remaining wetness. “You were talking about dinner before, right?” she started again. “I could go for something. What kind of food do ponies here eat anyway?”
It was a question she soon found the answer to. The sky had begun to change to a subtle orange tint as the sun remained behind the clouds when the two walked down to Misty’s home. The building was comparatively smaller, the entire house resting on one level and offering only three bedrooms. Quaint was the best way to describe it. The home was painted with soft yellow walls and was lit dimly as a fireplace burned despite proximity to the beach. It seemed like it’d be the mare style in just the short time Candle Light had known her, she thought.
She met the earth pony’s husband and her children, greeting them politely and introducing herself while she showed Misty the meal she was going to cook for them. It was strange how normal they all seemed despite her family almost certainly being entirely AI ponies. Her husband chatted her up a bit and her kids were slightly disinterested but looked at Candle Light curiously, just like the unicorn would’ve expected from humans she met. Coincidentally, they were all Earth ponies.
No meat presented itself as Candle Light rummaged through her new friend’s kitchen, but there were still things like eggs and cheese and milk and such. She could imagine why, although didn’t remember if the mare looked uncomfortable when she bought some meat products from the store for her. Still, the unicorn made a mental note that a more pescatarian or vegetarian diet might be in order. Thankfully, she didn’t see anything like hay or grass for food either here or when they went shopping.
It wasn’t anything too fancy she cooked for her new neighbors; simple pasta with alfredo sauce with a side of roasted zucchini was what she served, figuring horses would probably like something like this. They seemed to, their happy faces as they enjoyed her cooking making the meal just that much better. She grinned widely as the compliments were sent her way.
The conversation was casual and friendly, the ponies explaining to her a bit about the town they lived in. Things like who the important ponies were and what schools they had and how they should throw a housewarming party for her and whatnot. Then Misty and her husband sat with her in their living room while they got to know each other better and talked about each other’s families until the sun went down.
A hug was what she offered to her new friend before she finally walked back up the street to the house she received from Celestia. The day had felt completely endless. How long ago was it when she’d woken up in Celestia’s castle? Centuries? No, it had only been a few hours, hours that had been packed with so much new information and many new experiences. She took a breath as she stood in her empty house and let the day’s events settle over her.
“Good grief, this is all so overwhelming,” Candle Light whispered to herself as she headed into the closest bedroom to sit down. “Is this all even real?” She still wasn’t convinced, but maybe if she was a still pony tomorrow, she’d be more so. Her hooves shook slightly, and she closed her eyes to settle down. This day seemed so unreal in hindsight.
Another breath was what she took before she lay down in the silent, empty house to go to sleep. It seemed nice here in Equestria.
"Did you know Olivia talked to Dad yesterday?" Liana asked Daphne the next morning as she came down from her room to eat breakfast with her and her little brother. "Apparently he's a girl now from what she said. He was in some city by the beach.”
“Yeah, I know,” she said flatly, placing a hand on her chin. “I saw when Olivia was playing.” She still felt tired from the previous evening despite a full night’s rest. She had to avoid calling the copy she saw yesterday what it was.
“I haven’t talked to him yet though,” the girl continued. “I haven’t played at all in a long time. Where are Mom and Livvy anyway?”
“I think they went shopping today, I don’t know,” Liana shrugged. “She was telling me we needed food this morning before they left. I wanted to wait for you to get up before I played though.”
“I didn’t,” Steven said without looking up from his device as he ignored the toasted waffles on his plate. “I can’t find him anywhere in this town. I’ve been walking up and down this beach for the last thirty minutes and I don’t see him. Celestia and Olivia both said he was here though. I can’t even remember the town’s name though.”
“I think it was something like ‘Summer’s Court’, but I don’t remember.” Daphne brushed a strand of dark, curly hair from in front of her eyes as she glanced between the table and the wall. She was certainly curious, but she didn’t know if she felt as interested as her siblings probably were. There were no words she could use to describe the exact combination of emotions she felt about what happened. Or maybe there were too many.
“He had a pink coat and a light purple mane though, I think,” Daphne continued. “His pony looked like it weighed a little more than the other ponies, too.”
“I have not seen a single pony that looked like that,” her brother replied as he squinted down at the screen. “Like, at all. I almost think I got the wrong shard.”
The girl let out a long, annoyed breath. “If you get my PonyPad from my room, I’ll try and help find him for you.”
Daphne didn’t look away from the wall as Steven quickly left to grab it, but did catch a weird glance coming from Liana. She almost thought she was gonna ask if she was okay, but a second later, looked back down at her plate and took a bite of her waffles. Seemingly just as quickly, Steven was back with her PonyPad. Much too quickly, in Daphne’s opinion.
Only a few seconds after that, she was staring at her PonyPad at her avatar, a mostly androgynous looking bat pony named Night Watcher. It had brown eyes that were so dark as to appear almost black, and a black coat to go along with its very dark blue mane. It was slenderly built, its body constructed in a way that made flying through the skies exceptionally easy. Daphne didn’t do much of that, since she didn’t play Equestria Online all that much to begin with.
She watched her pony do so now, gliding carefully down to land on the beach she saw Olivia talking to her father on yesterday, standing next to her brother. His pony also had wings, but instead of a bat pony, he was a silver coated pegasus aptly named Silver Light. He came complete with a golden mane and bright blue eyes, and stood just a hair shorter than Night Watcher.
She looked around for a moment, and then pushed her avatar forward for a short walk to the clubhouse Olivia was building the night before. It was only another minute when Liana’s purple coated, purple maned pegasus, Sweeping Skies, joined the two of them to stand there. The little clubhouse looked a little more touched up than yesterday before she left. The thing was fully assembled, although it was only about the size of a bedroom, and it had a little sign on the door that read ‘Warm Spell and Dad’s Clubhouse’. It was definitely a creation of her little sister’s.
"I think they're inside," Sweeping Skies said as the mare rounded to the entrance of the tiny building. At least, the pony's mouth moved. She didn't hear anything from either her or Steven's PonyPad, probably because of the proximity to Liana. She did still hear the sound of waves crashing against the sand and soft wind blowing, as well as what sounded like the voices Olivia and the mare that was meant to be her father coming from inside the small building.
“Is that you, Liana?” she asked before Daphne or her siblings could speak. A second later, she poked her head out the door to the small clubhouse, and grinned widely at the sight of the three of them. Daphne glanced up from her screen for a moment to see both Liana and Steven wearing smirks at the sight of her, but she kept her own expression flat. Olivia’s filly, Warm Spell, followed after the mare a second later.
"Hey, kids!" she waved happily, speaking with the same bright tone Daphne heard her whole life. Except not at all like anything she ever heard. This was the first time the mare that was intended to be her father spoke to her like this.
"I can tell that you're Stevie," she said as she pointed to Silver Light, "but which one of you is Daffie and which one is Liana?"
"The blue and black one is Daffie," Warm Spell said. "She was watching me play with you last night."
"And my pony's name is Sweeping Skies," Liana explained. "That's Night Watcher and Silver Light."
"Hmmm, I guess that means I should call you 'Sky' then for short," the unicorn nodded thoughtfully. "And Daffie and Stevie would be 'Silver' and 'Nighty', right? Celestia said my name would be Candle Light."
"I'm okay with that," Steven shrugged as Daphne remained silent. "I just wanna know about what it's like for you being a horse now."
"And also, why the heck are you a girl now, Dad?" Liana asked. "Or, uh, should I call you 'mom' or something?"
Daphne didn't feel any annoyance or anger like she expected to, unable to even roll her eyes. She didn't feel much of anything as she thought about how ridiculous it was to call a copy of their dead father any sort of familial term. Was this making her feel anxious? She couldn't tell.
Candle Light looked anxious though. Daphne watched her glance away for a second with a red face as she rubbed a hoof in the sand. Both Olivia and Steven laughed at the look on her face, and the mare was able to muster up a little smile again. Daphne couldn't see what was particularly funny.
"You can just call me 'dad' if you want," she said quickly, a little bit more quietly than before. "I'm only being a mare for a little while because that's what Celestia chose while I think about what kind of stallion I want to be."
This time it was Liana who laughed with Steven as Olivia's pony loudly declared, "I think you're a pretty mare, Dad." Daphne had to admit, it got a smirk out of her. Just as quickly though, she put her smile back down.
Somehow though, Candle Light wasn't embarrassed by that. She touched Warm Spell's nose with a careful hoof, pausing for a second to put on a larger smile. Then she said, "I think you look very pretty too, sweetie."
Maybe it’s not even a copy of him at all, Daphne thought. It was a useless one though. Just like yesterday, this mare still acted like him, in both the big and the small mannerisms. The way she kind of flashed her teeth when she was flustered and how she collectively referred to them as ‘kids’ and had an excited sort of energy even if she didn’t display it was just like him.
It felt like she was staring at the alien version of her father. It was deeply unsettling.
“I’ve only been here for a day, but I’ve been fine,” she said as she turned to face the three of their ponies. “I got a big house for free, and I met the neighbors and went shopping here yesterday. And everything seems real, I think. It’s just weird being a horse is all. But I’m fine.” A pause came, and she asked, “Are you all okay though? They gave you the life insurance money, right? Is your mother doing okay?”
“Yeah, we’re fine,” Steven answered for the group after Daphne stayed silent. “I think Mom said she got the check a couple of days ago, but I can’t ask because she’s doing school registrations and shopping right now.”
“I’m with her!” Warm Spell announced excitedly. “We’re doing it today cause I’m gonna meet my new teacher! I’m gonna be in first grade!”
“Hehe, I know you are sweetie,” Candle Light laughed, touching the unicorn’s mane with a hoof. “And I’m sure you’re gonna get good grades and tell your mother I love her for me, right?”
“Right!”
Yes, this whole scene was making Daphne anxious. She could feel her breathing starting to pick up and sweat start to drip down her forehead, something that reflected itself into her avatar. She hoped no one would notice, and then wondered why she hoped that. This wasn't her father.
"I'm gonna go now," she decided, speaking in the same flat time she had for months now. "I have stuff to do today. I'll see you later." She made well sure not to call the character in front of her 'dad'.
"Well I expect a hug from all three of you before any of you leave," the mare decided as she stepped forward to wrap her hooves around Sweeping Skies first. "I haven't been able to for months, and I know it's been days since I've seen any of you."
Just like her father would, Candle Light hugged the mares tightly and gave a friendlier hoof wrapped around the shoulder to her brother's stallion. Whatever code or tech they used to get all of this stuff into this copy was certainly impressive, Daphne could say that much. It didn't make her feel any better about it existing in her father's place.
"I miss you all so much already," she finished, smiling sadly their way, but without tears in her eyes. "I hope there's a way for them to make a new body for me as a human or something in the future."
"If they can do all this, why not?" Liana smiled. "And I didn't say I was leaving yet. I don't have anything to do all day."
"Me, neither," Steven said, his pony shrugging as he did. "I wanna hear all about it."
The mare's look on her face brightened hearing that. "I love you kids." She turned Night Watcher, almost looking up at Daphne through the real world as she finished, "I guess I'll see you later then, Daffie? Err, Nighty?"
"Yeah, see you later," she agreed before quickly powering off her device and letting out a breath she'd been subconsciously holding in. That was unnerving. Like it could see her through the screen. It made Daphne's skin crawl, and she finally let out a shiver she'd been forcing back.
“What’s up with you?” Steven asked with a raised eyebrow. “You look like a bug just crawled on you.”
She opened her mouth, but no words came out immediately. She debated between answering with ‘nothing’ or giving the truthful answer. She almost went with the former.
“You already know,” was all she said. She realized she was glaring at him, but didn’t turn away or let down her expression. Neither of those things would change any of what she felt, would they? Not that he was the only one, of course.
“Whatever,” she heard Steven say, watching him shake his head in annoyance as Liana shot a confused look her way. “You’re just being stupid.”
She felt goosebumps forming on her skin and crawling up her arms as they laughed and chatted with the alien copy of their father.
Candle Light spent almost the entirety of her second day in Equestria with her kids.
More specifically, it was with Liana and Steven, although she did spend a couple of hours with Olivia before she said she had to get off to go shopping. She showed them around the new house she owned, and tried to get used to the idea of them being horses from her perspective. Something about the idea that they were only looking at a screen and interacting with her through a PonyPad felt more weird to her than them being ponies. It was much better than not being able to do anything with them as she lay in a hospital bed though.
They acted just as normal as they always did; they talked past each other and argued occasionally, and Steven acted like he was a little above it all while Liana and Olivia were Candle Light’s little princesses, even if the former sometimes had a habit of trying to pick fights with her older brother. Daphne seemed a little upset in the few minutes she was around before she went flying off, but she couldn’t blame her daughter. It was probably a little hard on her, like it was for Candle Light, for her to no longer be in the real world.
Like her neighbors’ kids, both of them were a little disinterested when she showed the two of them off to Misty, but Candle Light had to, like any parent did. They took more of an interest in talking to her new neighbor’s kids, which gave the mare a moment alone with Misty Rose.
“Those two are nice foals,” the earth pony told her. “You said you have four kids?” she asked. “I know I met your little filly yesterday. What was her name?”
“Olivia. Err, I mean, um, Warm Spell,” Candle Light answered. “And my oldest was here earlier, but had to go. She’s seventeen, and her name’s Daphne… err, Night Watcher, I guess.”
“Well, I’m sure she’s just as nice as your other kids, and I bet your wife is, too,” Misty nodded. “Are they moving in with you? Actually, that’s a silly question. Of course they are, right?”
“I don’t know. They’re still on Earth– err, I mean, the Outer Realm. That’s actually them playing the game on their PonyPads.” Then she shrugged, finishing, “But I guess, maybe? I’m already here, after all. Why wouldn’t they come?” It didn’t seem like it would be any harm for them at least two days in.
Eventually, the sun began to go down, and she had to bid her children goodbye. She hugged both of them again before both Silver Light and Sweeping Skies flew off. To where, she didn’t know. She smirked as she imagined them just going to their bedrooms to stare at their phones all night.
She couldn’t wait to see them again tomorrow, and hoped her wife would join them this time, too. Not to mention, spending more time with her eldest child would be lovely.
Candle Light was surprised though when she didn’t see any of her family at all on the third day. She expected Warm Spell to be at the clubhouse she made this morning, just like yesterday, but instead, found it empty. She walked up and down the beach for an hour, and then two as the sun hung in the sky over her beyond the clouds. She swam in the water again for the third hour, getting herself used to her new limbs, before she climbed back onto the beach and shook herself off to see that they still weren't here.
No matter. No reason to waste the day here. They'd probably be back soon.
Her third day in Equestria was so far the most boring. She walked around town and ate breakfast and lunch at a couple of restaurants, something she'd forgotten to do the previous day. Was it weird to feel hungry and tired and have to go to the bathroom if she was in a computer now? She didn't know, but didn't think about it much as she tried a sandwich that had flowers in it for some reason. It would be interesting to investigate just how far she could take things if she was just a piece of code.
She was sad though when her kids didn't show up on the third day, and felt even more so on the fourth day, too. That was a day she spent at the beach again before heading back home to try and spruce things up a bit more to her taste. Painting walls and rearranging furniture and such. It was something Misty Rose helped her with, which she was glad for. It didn't make her miss her kids less though.
On the fifth day of no appearances from them, she felt more confused and concerned by their lack of appearance than sad. After her now daily walk to and swim at the beach, she clicked the picture of the sun imprinted into her living room wall. The tall princess appeared before her with a gentle smile on her face, one that automatically made Candle Light relax some.
“Um, I have a question about my family,” she started without hesitation, looking up into the impossibly tall pony’s eyes. “Is there any reason I haven’t seen them at all the last couple of days? I mean, presumably you can see them in the real world since you control Equestria Online, I think. Are they okay?”
“Yes, Candle Light,” she answered gently, in a tone that reminded her a bit of her mother. It was soft and sweet, and relaxed her muscles that were subconsciously tensed up.
“They’re currently asleep, so far as I can tell,” she continued. “While it’s been three days since you’ve seen your foals last, from their perspective, it’s been about two hours. Your perspective of time has quickened upon emigrating to Equestria.”
“Like, time dilation or something?” she asked as she tilted her head. “How the heck does that work? And what am I supposed to do while I wait for them? How long will it be for me before tomorrow?”
"Please don't be worried," the princess assured her, settling a wing onto her back. "They will be around just as often as you need and desire. However, time to focus on yourself is also important. Don't think of your new perception of time as missing your family, but as additional time to explore the world and yourself."
Candle Light nodded as she took it all in. She… guessed that made sense. If it really only had been a couple of hours for them in the real world, then that wasn't so bad. It also made her that much more curious about how far the limits of a computer could be stretched. If days could go by for her while almost no time passed in the real world, what else could happen?
"What the heck am I supposed to do though?" she asked. She pointed her eyes down at the floor and rubbed a hoof against the ground. "I, uh, don't really have much of a life outside of my family," she said quietly. It was something she thought about a couple of times before, but also something that hadn't been much of an issue before either.
"Well, for starters, you're a unicorn, which means you can do unicorn magic," Celestia explained. "I'm certain some of the books hanging on these walls are spell books, are they not? Discovering your special talent is something else to do. As well, while you do love your family, if you're concerned about your lack of relationships outside of them, I'm sure your friend Misty Rose can introduce you to many a pony in this town if you'd like. There's much to see and learn about Summer's Edge as well, and Equestria in general."
"That… sounds like something to do," the mare agreed. "As long as I'll still have my kids and family to see. I can try doing some of those things."
"Your family will always be near for you to see, Candle Light, I assure you that." She kept on that same smile, one that made the unicorn finally smile back.
"Okay, I'll go along with it for now," she replied. "I guess I could try learning some magic. That sounds like it'd be fun. I don't think I'd be able to do much though since I'm so old."
"I'm very glad you'll try, Candle Light. As long as you have a willingness to undertake new tasks and learn more, you'll never be stagnant in self growth. Although you should know that most things in Equestria are not relative to the Outer Realm. We do not have the same constraints here."
Didn't Candle Light already know that? She was about to ask the princess what she meant when she disappeared with the flash of her horn. What an abrupt end to the conversation.
But she did give the unicorn an answer when she needed one, just as she said she would do. Her family was fine, just as always, and Celestia said she could see them whenever she desired. That meant she could see them right now presumably, right? She couldn't think of a reason why not, but didn't press Celestia's button again. The princess might have said Candle Light could do whatever she wanted, but just like with being a mare, she would opt to trust the AI's judgment.
She stood alone for a silent minute, staring out a window as she gazed at nothing in particular. That feeling she got as she stood on the beach the first day was starting to return. Celestia would probably entertain any of her desires if she called her up again, which meant she had a limitless amount of potential things to do, right? And if she could control time, too, there might be a limitless amount of time to do those things in. She could feel her hooves shaking as her breathing started to pick up.
The mare closed her eyes to steady herself, and took off her glasses for a moment to rub her eyes. Celestia said something about how learning meant self growth. She hasn't done much in the learning department since high school, over two decades ago, even though she did enjoy learning new things. But magic would be something fun to figure out, especially since Olivia had a unicorn that could do it, too. If she really had as much time as Celestia said, maybe she could get good enough to teach her daughter how to do things. When was the last time she had the chance to do that? She bet there might be ways to make her wife enjoy it, too.
It put a smile on her face to imagine as she started to look through her books for information about spellcasting. A lot of time meant a lot of opportunity to make her family feel proud of her. If she was able to be in Equestria, no doubt one day that would be here, too.
Finding a book on the subject was little trouble; there was a shelf along the living room wall that contained nothing but text on how to do magic. However, it seemed like there was a reason there were so many books, because just getting a few pages into the first one, Candle Light found herself already confused.
Watching Warm Spell light up her horn and cast a spell when she was only six made it seem easy, in spite of what the earth pony told her. As she read through though, she got the feeling that it was only so because Olivia was pressing buttons on her PonyPad. This book detailed things like special characters that had to be written and how to draw energy from within yourself and project it into physical space and how to convert ambient energy into magical and a whole lot of other highly scientific sounding things. It was a lot more complicated than she expected, and almost deterred her from reading through the book right now.
But she shook her head clear of discouragement, then used a hoof to brush her mane out of her face. She had who knew how long to figure it out, confusing as it was. If Olivia could do it through a screen, she could do it in real life.
She put on some Clay Walker CDs she bought with Misty Rose a few days ago, found a comfortable spot on the couch to lay down on, and started reading from the beginning.
The hardest part at first was figuring out what everything meant. She wasn’t exactly sure what ‘thaumatology’ meant, and even though she was a horse now, she certainly didn’t know horse body parts like the book demanded she know. What exactly was a ‘croup’, and why was such a thing storing her magical energy? A dictionary she found came in handy, and helped her piece some things together.
Applying what she read was much easier. Apparently, telekinesis was the first skill any unicorn learned, and she could see why. There was a technical explanation about how energy was displaced when a unicorn moved an object and how it meant that more energy was required to move larger objects, but the instructions were simple. Think about what you wanted to move and where it was, put energy into your horn, and wrap it around the object. Candle Light didn’t exactly know what it meant to put energy into her horn, but she tried her best to follow the instructions, and to her surprise, it worked! She grinned widely as she carefully held the book she was reading above her and moved it around a few feet without issue.
She couldn’t hold it up for longer than a minute or so before she got tired, but the book explained that, too. Just like a runner, endurance had to be built up before she could hold her energy around an object for longer amounts of time. It explained that practice would make this easier, and so she stopped reading where she was to practice picking up and holding things for the rest of the day. She wore an excited smile the whole time.
Actual spellcasting, however, was much more difficult, something she discovered the next day, after her now ritual walk to and swim at the beach. Spellcasting required learning and memorizing a series of special characters, writing them out in your head while drawing energy into your horn, and then forcing the energy out once the spell was ready. It explained that most unicorns wrote out spells they planned to cast later in the day to save time– she had no idea how something like that could be possible– and that the more often you trained your magic spellcasting, the more complex and energetic spells you could cast. If it was as easy as doing the telekinesis she learned the day before, it would be no sweat.
Candle Light tried hard, but she didn’t cast one spell that day, or the next day. Not the next day after that, or the next week after that. She imagined at first it was because she wasn’t drawing enough energy, since she didn’t really have any way to indicate energy was being drawn. However, by the second week of studying, she could hold the book above her head to read without trouble for almost an hour. She did as the text described and wrote out the characters in her mind while she imagined the energy flowing to her horn, but still nothing was happening. Maybe she wasn’t writing them exactly right? But even if she looked at the book while doing it, she still couldn’t–
“Candle?” Misty Rose suddenly called from outside as she knocked on her door one morning. “Are you in there?” It was unexpected enough that the unicorn almost jumped at the sound.
“Yeah. The door’s unlocked,” she replied. “You can come in.”
Misty Rose entered, looked down at Candle Light, and then looked around the house to take it in. “Oh, that’s what you’ve been up to,” the earth pony smiled. “Rearranging your house, I see? It looks nice!”
“I did that a couple of weeks ago,” Candle Light laughed. “I’ve just been reading this book about magic and trying to figure it out.” Then she let out a small sigh, finished, “It’s more difficult than I thought though.”
"I can't even imagine how difficult that must be," Misty Rose replied. "I don't think I could manage it at all. Maybe that's why I'm an earth pony." A little pause came as the unicorn glanced back up at her book for a second, then her friend said, "Say though, if you don't mind taking a break, do you think you could help me do some shopping? I wanna get some new clothes, but I need a mare's opinion on what to get."
"I don't think I'd call myself the best judge of fashion," Candle Light said sheepishly as she glanced away again for a moment. "But sure. I could try and help with that."
It wasn't too much later when Candle Light was down in the main part of Summer's Edge for the first time in weeks. It was a sunnier day today, and a bit warmer than most of the mornings she went to the beach to swim. Seeing all the ponies out and about as they smiled and walked in the sun helped to remind her of what else Celestia said. Making friends with these ponies was also important.
The two walked through a couple of jewelry shops, the two mares stopping to admire some of the stones without making any purchases, before they entered a clothing store aimed towards mares. There still wasn't anything like underwear or pants that she saw that wasn’t lingerie, but the skirts and dresses and socks they sold looked nice enough.
The unicorn didn't feel particularly helpful to Misty Rose, but she complimented her politely and pointed out some dresses she thought looked especially nice. There were a few that looked like things her wife would wear, and she pointed out one that was bright blue with occasional yellow stripes and red flowers that she saw. Misty Rose laughed at the suggestion.
"I'm already as blue as a pony can come," the mare said lightly. "I don't think more blue would make me stand out much.” Then she squinted at Candle Light. “Hmmm… it might look pretty good on you though,” she said.
“I’m not sure,” was the unicorn’s immediate, red faced reply. “Maybe though.”
“I can buy it for you, if you wanna,” Misty offered her. “I don’t mind. I have the bits.”
Candle Light could feel more blood rushing to her face as she put on an embarrassed smile. She rubbed a back hoof against the back of a forehoof as she looked away. “Thanks, but no. I don’t wanna be a burden, especially since you’ve already paid for all of my shopping when I first got here.”
“I have the bits, Candle,” Misty laughed. “It’s not gonna– oh, hey! There’s that pony I was telling you about before! Soft Step!”
“Who?”
Before she got an answer, her companion was waving and beckoning a purple unicorn with a brown mane over. She looked about as old as Candle Light did, probably around twenty two or so, and was a unicorn just like her. She had a large, friendly smile on her face, and seemed a bit lighter on her hooves than either Candle Light or Misty Rose were.
“I was just telling Candle Light here about how you were from the Outer Realm, too,” Misty Rose said, as though it wasn’t a passing remark she made weeks ago. “She just moved to Summer’s Edge, and said she wanted to meet other ponies from the Outer Realm like she’s from.”
“Huh. I didn’t think there were other actual people playing in Summer’s Edge,” she started. “It’s kind of cool though that Composition’s shard is popular like that.”
“Shard?” Candle Light asked with a tilt of her head. “What the heck is a shard? You mean, like, this town?”
“Basically,” the mare nodded, wearing a little smirk. “I guess that must mean you’re super new then. I’m Soft Step,” she introduced. She held out her hoof to shake.
“Candle Light,” the unicorn replied, accepting the hoof. “If you’re a human, you must know how the heck to cast spells, since you’re a unicorn, right?” she asked. “I’ve been trying to get it for the last couple of weeks, but all I can do is levitate stuff. Not actually cast spells.”
“Haha, that’s easy,” Soft Step smiled. “There’s a button on the side of the screen you have to open up first. Then you just click on whatever spell you want to do. But you have to actually learn how to do it by pressing the characters in the right order. At least, I did.”
Oh, so then this mare wasn’t actually in Equestria. “I don’t, uh, have a screen,” she told her. “I actually live here. In real life.” She felt somewhat awkward saying it, but she wasn’t sure why. Maybe something about it felt like it would make her the subject of ridicule, as silly a feeling as it was to have.
"Wait, so you, like, went to Japan to upload then?" Soft Step asked, a little amazement in her voice. Candle Light nodded, and shifted on her hooves uncomfortably. "That sounds absolutely insane to me."
“I didn't really have much of a choice on my part. But, uh, I guess that means you can’t help me, can you?” Candle Light asked awkwardly.
“I can try,” she offered. “I’m not sure what you would do though, since I’ve never met anyone who actually lives in Equestria, you know? But let me see. Give me a minute.”
She watched the purple unicorn stare up at the ceiling for more than a minute. In fact, it was closer to five that she remained completely motionless outside of blinking and breathing. Candle Light took a step back from her, debating whether or not she should try and touch her or leave.
"Do ponies from the Outer Realm do that all the time?" she asked Misty, who had returned to looking around for clothes, unbothered by the scene. Even as she asked it though, the answer to what was going on was already forming in her head.
"Sure," the mare answered. "Lots of ponies do lots of weird things. This is pretty normal, I'd say. Some of the ponies I talk to sleep for days and days at a time."
"I think I got an idea," Soft Step suddenly interrupted, making the mare jump. "You can try watching me cast a spell to see how to do it right. A few people on YouTube talked about helping people who just uploaded into unicorns, and that's what they did. I only learned how to do teleportation though because that's all I use."
"That's fine," Candle Light said. "Let me see."
The mare watched as Soft Step closed her eyes and took a breath before lighting up her horn. Time seemed to move in slow motion. She wasn't sure how, but she could almost see the characters being drawn out faintly in the air in front of her, and watched as her breathing subtly made her barrel move from back to front somehow. It was incredibly strange to see, but sure enough, a second later, the mare disappeared and popped back into existence a moment later, now standing a few feet to her right.
"And that's pretty much it," Soft Step told she with a smile. "I guess since you don't have a PonyPad, you'd probably just think about where you wanna be, but yeah. I don't know if that does it for you, but…"
"I think I understand it a little more than the book told me," Candle Light said. "Let me see."
Candle Light closed her eyes, just as Soft Step did, and breathed deeply, focusing on trying to put energy into her horn. She still had no idea if it was doing anything, but this time, she did feel pressure subtly moving from near her flank to her chest as she breathed the way she saw Soft Step do. She imagined drawing out the characters she needed as she pushed the pressure from her chest to her head, and…
She heard a loud 'pop' and felt a rush of energy suddenly leave her as she opened her eyes. She was now standing on the beach she went to every morning, and turned to see Warm Spell's little clubhouse sitting off in the distance. The waves lapped at her hooves and she heard seagulls flying overhead as a rush of excitement came over her.
“Yes! Ahh, yes! I did it!” she yelled as she jumped and danced happily on the beach, leaving hoofprints in the sand. She was so excited that she didn’t even notice as her cutie mark appeared on her flank.
Candle Light didn’t notice her new cutie mark until Misty Rose pointed it out to her at the clothing shop when she returned. She casted the teleportation spell again to get back to her and Soft Step, and while she took a moment to breathe from having expended so much energy, the mare congratulated her.
"My cutie mark is supposed to mean something about having a special talent, right?" the unicorn asked. "I did the spell and I got it, but I'm not sure what a candle has to do with that."
"It's probably because your name is Candle Light," Misty told her. "I got a rose on my flank, but my special talent is wedding planning, if you can believe it. I figure I got mine because of my name, and you must have got yours because of yours."
Candle Light accepted the explanation without issue, and turned to give her thanks to Soft Step. “It would have taken me forever to get that if you didn’t show me,” she told her. “I don’t exactly know how it helped, but it did.”
“Ah, it was nothing,” Soft Step replied politely. “That was all you.” Then she told her, “I have to go now though. Meeting up with some of my other friends. But it was nice seeing you. I guess I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah, see you,” Candle Light smiled. Soft Step gave a little wave before she lit up her horn and teleported away to somewhere else. Candle Light smiled happily to herself at the thought about the fact that it was a skill she was now able to do.
“I guess since you got your cutie mark, this calls for a celebration,” Misty Rose told her, touching the mare’s shoulder with a hoof as she held up the dress from before in another. “You’re a little too old for a cute-ceañera, but this dress could be a good present. I got the bits for it for you, and I bet your wife would like it if she has the same one.”
Candle Light blushed again, but this time, said, “I guess since I’ve earned it.” She didn’t know how big of a deal it was meant to be, but if Celestia mentioned finding her cutie mark to her before, it must have been a somewhat big thing. She couldn’t say no under those circumstances, could she?
She had dinner with Misty Rose and her family that night, this time inviting them to her home, and in the morning, she opted to teleport to the beach rather than walk. Now that she knew how to do it, she wanted to practice it like she did telekinesis, and did the same spell every morning for the next week. Just like with telekinesis, her stamina built up, and by the end of the week, she cast the spell three or four times in succession before she got tired.
That other unicorn, Soft Step, might have said it was the only spell she used, but Candle Light certainly wasn’t going to stop after learning just one spell. She kept right on reading through her spellbook each day to try and learn new things. It was a slow process; spell casting was still much more difficult than using telekinesis. But within a few weeks, she was looking at a small arsenal of five or six useful spells.
She made sure to pay more careful attention to her time though meanwhile. Rather than staying cooped up inside reading about magic all day like before, she went out and talked to ponies now. Mostly it was with Misty Rose, but she slowly branched off to make some more friends. She talked to Soft Step once or twice more, and found some other friends as she tried some of the restaurants around town and went shopping. They were polite and friendly, and with some of them, she had some interesting conversations about everything from magic to some mare named Renown Composition who apparently ran this town, to even about how one pony was tired of being a pegasus and wanted to try being an earth pony.
Candle Light remembered what Celestia said about thinking about what she wanted to be, and she could still say she had no idea. Definitely a unicorn though, and the glasses would stay, but beyond that, nothing. Maybe she’d just stay the same if she couldn’t think of anything good until she met up with her wife eventually. She could let her pick out.
She still hadn’t met up with her wife yet, and it made her a little sad, but finally seeing her children again after several weeks made her happy. She almost asked them what took them so long before she remembered what the princess– an alicorn, she learned– had told her.
“It’s been almost two months since I’ve seen you kids,” she told them. “I know it only feel like a few hours for you though. Celestia was telling me about how time would be faster for me here. But how have you guys been? Are you being good for your mother?”
“Yeah, we’re fine,” Steven said through Silver Light, “but it’s only been a day, Dad. Has it really been that long for you? Because that sounds awesome.”
“That’s really cool,” Liana agreed as Sweeping Skies smiled and stretched her wings. “You could probably do a lot of stuff if it really is that long. The doctor didn’t tell us it’d be like that in there.”
“Yeah, it’s really neat,” Candle Light continued. “I’ve been learning how to do magic in that time. I can do this now. Watch.” She lit up her horn just as she practiced, and a moment later, teleported to the other side of the beach to call and wave at them from. She teleported back in front of them a second later, and didn’t even feel too terribly tired doing it twice in succession as she smiled proudly at them.
"I can do more than just that though. I'm learning a lot about magic and science here. I feel like I'm twenty years old again."
"That means we can have a magic fight!" Warm Spell proclaimed. "We can battle and fight monsters and save ponies and go to castles!"
"Maybe we can, sweetie," Candle Light grinned as she booped her nose with a hoof. "We'll have to see if we can do that together one day if you want to."
"Yes!"
"I bet there's shards you can do that kind of stuff in if you really want to," Silver Light told her. "But also, when the heck are you gonna change into a stallion, Dad? Unless you're just gonna be a mare forever. Which would honestly be kind of weird."
"It wouldn't be that weird," Sky broke in. "I bet Mom would like it actually."
"No she wouldn't! There's no way Mom likes girls.
"That's not what I mean, idiot."
"Let's settle down now, kids," Candle Light told them gently with a little smirk on her face. "But no, I don't think I'm gonna be staying as a girl forever. Celestia said she'll let me change one time for now, but doesn't like to change ponies a lot, so that's why I haven't changed yet. I just wanna be sure."
It was funny how she didn't really feel embarrassed about it anymore. Although that probably had something to do with how long she'd been in Equestria up to that point. She didn't know if she could say she really cared either way about being a mare or a stallion, except for making her family happy, and the thoughts she had about the differences when she first got here. Maybe being a mare was better? She certainly thought she looked pretty as a mare. Was this part of the self growth Celestia was talking about?
A small pause came as she thought of something, and Candle Light continued, "Maybe your mother could help me decide on what I should be right now. Where is she? And speaking of which, where's Daphne?"
"Mom's doing more school stuff today," Liana. "And, uh, Daffie's watching our screens while we play because she doesn't wanna talk to you, I think."
That got her attention. "Why the heck wouldn't your sister want to talk to me?" she asked.
"I dunno," Sweeping Skies shrugged. "She said something yesterday about how she didn't think it was you, and then didn't play all day yesterday because of it."
"What?" Candle Light tilted her head and had an almost shocked look on her face. "I definitely am me, as far as I can tell. At least, I think so. This isn't about me being a mare, is it?"
"No, I think she thinks you're not real. Like you're a copy of yourself or something."
That was a strange thing to hear. Was something like that even possible? Candle Light had no idea. She didn't feel like a copy, but how the heck would she know if she was? It was something she would have to ask the princess about, or find a book with information on the subject. Just the thought of such a thing made her shift around on her hooves uncomfortably.
"She's just being stupid for no reason," Silver Light said with finality. "I wanna get out of here now and show you my shard, Dad. I've been working on it for a month and a half."
"Well I'd definitely love to see it if you put all that work into it, son," Candle Light said. "How do we get to it?"
Silver Light led her to the train station that would take them to his shard, the mare now filled with all sorts of concerns about both herself and her daughter. It seemed like she would have to talk to Celesita again soon.
She kept the thought in her mind as she visited her son’s shard, a place that made her laugh softly at the sight of it. She walked on streets that floated in the clouds as she passed by other winged ponies, most of whom seemed to portray a sort of ‘coolness’ the friends she remembered him hanging out with on Earth had. She thought it was adorable, and embarrassed him a bit by saying such as they made their way past fancy white buildings and to an ornate mansion that he lived in.
It was basically as she expected on the inside, and just the kind of thing any fifteen year old kid would want. An indoor pool sat in the center of a large opening room with a basketball court opposite it, not that she knew how ponies were supposed to play basketball. There were several rooms upstairs for guests and a kitchen on the main floor that was largely absent of anything besides salty snacks and sugary drinks that even she, while in Equestria, might have still drank too often. In the basement was what looked to be an arcade, one with many game systems, couches, a pool table, and a theater. She couldn’t say she really expected anything else from her son, and while this place certainly looked fun, she would take her home by the beach and near the mountains over this mansion. She did make another little note in her head to study clouds to see how they were able to hold up so much construction.
They moved on to her daughter's shard, a place that wasn't really what Candle Light expected. The last she remembered, Liana was into vampires and Arvil Lavigne, but this place had a much more different feel than that. This place looked more corporate than Silver Light’s shard. Sweeping Skies led her past skyscrapers and coffee shops and through a place that reminded Candle Light of New York City. There were certainly none of the palm trees that could be found in places around Arizona where the rest of her family still lived.
She was clearly proud of this place because her daughter walked with a little more pep in her step. The pegasus grinned as she showed off some of her friends and her favorite restaurant before giving a tour of the NYC style apartment she lived in. Candle Light almost forgot for a second that Liana wasn’t actually a pony as she politely let her children talk her ear off. If she or her other kids were in Equestria, they’d be in Summer’s Edge with her.
Warm Spell declared that she wasn’t going to be showing off the shard she shared with Daphne because Silver Light was with them and Silver Light wasn’t a girl. Candle Light herself was well beyond embarrassment about that feature about herself now, and only laughed as she suggested they head back to Summer’s Edge with her for the rest of the day. They agreed, and there they found a little bowling alley in the town to play a few games at until her children got tired. Silver Light left first, and then Warm Spell followed behind him, leaving Candle Light alone with Sweeping Skies.
“Is your older sister okay?” she had to ask. “Can you tell her I want to talk to her soon, please?”
“She’s still watching my screen,” the pegasus explained, “but she hasn’t played Equestria Online in a long time except for yesterday. She mostly just watches us and breathes over our shoulders.”
“Can you ask her why she thinks I’m not me?”
Her daughter blinked and stared flatly at her for a good fifteen or twenty second, completely silent. Candle Light glanced away and shifted around uncomfortably on her hooves before Sweeping Skies finally told her, “She said she doesn’t wanna talk about it.”
“Oh. Well, can you tell her I love her?”
Another long pause came before she got back, “She said ‘okay’.”
That stung a bit, enough to make the unicorn grimace, but Candle Light didn’t comment on it. Instead, she hugged her daughter in a quick, tight hug. “Tell her to be safe and well, okay? And you be good to your sisters and your older brother. I don’t like it when you guys fight. I love you, Liana.”
“Okay. I love you, Dad,” was the immediate reply. “Bye.”
A wave of her wing came, and then she flew out the door, leaving the unicorn to let out a long, sad breath. There was a lot for her to think about and look into, wasn’t there? She put her hooves in her hands and closed her eyes to breathe. She hoped everything would be alright with her daughter.
Then she lifted her head back up just as Soft Step was calling to her in surprise and asking for a few games against her and a mare named Careful Calling since she was here. The unicorn agreed, and chatted up the two ponies about life and magic and spellcasting while they bowled, taking her mind off the concerns she had. There would be many days to think about it all before her kids returned tomorrow. It might have been weeks in between appearances of her family, but going time seemed like such a good thing right now.
“I mean, I just don’t get why he’d choose to be a girl,” Liana shrugged at the dinner table as he took a bite of the takeout their mother ordered. “I thought he’d turn into a guy instantly, but I guess not.”
“I think he made it pretty clear he didn’t have a choice,” Steven replied as Olivia played on her PonyPad next to her. “He said Celestia chose for him. That means it’s not a choice, because who the heck would wanna be a girl? Ew.”
“He obviously had a choice, idiot. He said he wanted Mom to help him pick out what he should be. That means he’s choosing to be a girl until then.”
“Yeah, after Celestia forced him to be.”
Daphne let out a deep, long sigh, not even able to roll her eyes at the pointless conversation. She could safely say she wouldn’t have cared less either way if it was actually him. She didn’t bother interrupting to state the obvious.
“How good is she though?” she asked flatly. “On a scale of 1-10.”
“Huh? Oh, Dad? Uh, like, a ten,” Liana told her. “Well, I guess 9, since he’s a girl, but, like, it’s definitely him. There’s no doubt about that.”
“I’d say 8,” Steven replied, Daphne knowing he was probably just trying to pick different from their little sister. “You could go online and see for yourself though, since you only talked to him one time.”
The girl sighed again. “Maybe later,” she told them. “I’m not ready for all that.”
“Well he’s probably gonna keep asking until you show up instead of breathing over our necks while we play,” he continued. “I’m mostly curious about how time works there though. If it’s been weeks from his perspective, how long is a day for him versus us? An hour?”
"I guess," Liana shrugged. "But that sounds terrible to me. I wouldn't wanna sit around for weeks doing nothing. I'd get bored after a while."
Daphne shook her head in disdain as she silently listened to the two talk for a while about nothing but Equestria Online. Afterwards, she settled down next to Olivia on the bed in her room to look over her shoulder, watching her play in the hilly, forested, moonlit town of the shard they shared. It was nothing but bat ponies and unicorns there, and the moon hung high over the eerie looking town. It wasn't necessarily Daphne's style, but Olivia liked to go exploring there.
She wasn't doing such a thing right now, but instead talking to other foals that seemed to be about her age as they held a little celebration in the park for something or other. Her pony was eating cake next to another group of fillies when she said something that caught Daphne's attention.
"Princess Celestia said I might get to see you in real life soon," she said casually. "She said she might be able to turn me and my family into ponies."
"When did she say that?" Daphne suddenly asked, her tone displaying more emotion than she gave to anyone in the last few weeks. She had a serious look on her face, a look that demanded all of her kid sister's attention.
"I dunno," the little girl shrugged. "This morning, I think. She said we could live in Equestria with Dad soon if we go to Japan like he did. I tried to tell her I wasn't sick, but she said anyone can go."
Daphne was shocked to hear it, and more than a little uncomfortable. She couldn't say she had a good immediate response lined up, and almost just took the device out of her sister's hands right then. Just what on earth were these game developers trying to pull?
She tried to be calm, and took a breath to gently brush the girl off.
"No you can't, Livvy," she said sternly. That's not actually Dad you're talking to when you see that mare. She's just a game character."
Olivia looked as stunned as all get-out, and stared unblinkingly up at her older sister for a long moment before she glanced down at her PonyPad. A second later, she turned off the device and silently left the room.
Daphne shouldn't have felt as surprised as she was when her mother called for her about a minute later, her face contorted into a scowl when she saw her as she held her now sobbing little sister. She had a few tear stains of her own on her cheeks as she brushed the girl's hair with a hand and told her what she wanted to hear.
"Of course your father's really a pony now," their mother said, although Daphne wasn't sure how much she actually believed it despite being the one who had to make the decision. "That's how come you can talk to him whenever you want by playing your PonyPad."
"You promise, Mom?"
"Of course I promise," she assured her quickly as she moved a strand of hair out of the girl's eyes. "Now you go back to playing so I can talk to your older sister, okay?"
Olivia nodded, and quickly ran off after that. The second the door closed behind her, their mother asked, "I want to see for myself. Help me set up an account on that game you all play."
"I'm not lying to her," Daphne said defensively. "That mare isn't actually him. It only acts a lot like him."
"What the heck is a mare? Wait, you mean being a girl in the game?"
"Nothing. It doesn't matter anyway." Daphne let out a huff of a breath, only just now realizing how intensely frustrated she felt. She didn’t cry very often, her father’s recent health being an exception, but she certainly felt her eyes starting to become wet now. She didn't allow any tears to fully slip down though, and instead took another breath before turning away. She crossed her arms, and her mother spoke again.
“Will you please help me set up an account, Daphne?” she asked.
The urge to just flat out refuse was intensely strong. She could feel her jaw clenching as she shut her eyes tight and rolled her shoulders to relax. She knew it wasn’t her mother’s fault, or anyone’s fault really. Her father’s condition was one that made it obvious he wasn’t going to survive more than a day or two longer. If there was even a one percent chance that whatever science fiction they talked about was real, the only correct choice in the situation was accepting the offer, of course.
The fact was in her head, but it didn’t make Daphne’s jaw unclench or the frustration not flow through her. She tried to remain calm though.
“Olivia was telling me about how the AI told her she could go to Japan to be with Dad,” Daphne said. “She implied that whoever the heck runs this game wants that.”
“So what?”
Another minute was what Daphne took to get back to calm. She didn’t know why she expected any different of a response.
Because you’re getting worked up over nothing, the girl reminded herself. She reminded herself of the one percent chance again, and decided her mother’s question of ‘so what’ was right. What was Olivia gonna do? Hop on a plane to Japan tomorrow? She needed to let herself slow down and take things for what they were, hard as it was to do. She especially needed to appreciate this copy for what it was. Be more hopeful instead of pessimistic. Or something.
“Nothing. Never mind,” she said again, knowing her tone sounded more depressed now. Then she shook her head, telling her, “You need a PonyPad to play Equestria Online though.”
“Go get yours and let me use it then,” her mother suggested. “And don’t say things like that to your little sister again. I don’t want to see her coming in here crying because of you.”
Daphne didn’t roll her eyes or let out an angry breath like she wanted to. Instead, she did as her mother asked, booting the thing up and handing it to her a minute later. It must have somehow known what she wanted to do, because instead of Night Watcher, she was greeted by Celestia waving a wing kindly as the screen centered on the palace. She tried not to shudder from the fact that the AI’s eyes subtly followed her gaze as she handed the device to her mother.
"You just follow Celestia's instructions," she explained before the AI said anything. "She'll pick a name and pony type and cutie mark for you if you let her. You're only planning on playing to talk to Dad, so you might as well let her choose." Daphne did shudder just a bit at calling Candle Light her father. She felt goosebumps on her arms, just as she did before.
"Night Watcher is correct," the princess of this online world nodded as she smiled softly. "Let me be the first to welcome you to the magical land of Equestria. We've been expecting you for some time."
Celestia gave the standard introduction, and Daphne’s mother followed her advice. She let Celestia pick her appearance and name and cutie mark, which turned out to be an earth pony with a simple gray coat, a white mane, and blue eyes like her father had. Certainly it was a change from the dark brown skin her mother had in real life.
“I understand you are anxious to see Candle Light,” the AI told her, occasionally glancing creepily at Daphne as she spoke. “I will place you in her home in the town known as Summer’s Edge to start you off. I believe she’s in the middle of preparing a meal for some of her new friends at the moment. Of course, there are many ponies in Summer’s Edge for you to meet and become friends with if you’d like, just as she has done. I believe she can tell you about it.”
"It's weird to hear your father called a girl," her mother whispered, something Crystal Clear copied as Celestia lit up her horn and brought her to just outside Candle Light's home. Daphne watched over her mother's shoulder as she fumbled with the PonyPad before finding the button to click to knock on the door. She didn’t remember seeing much of it before she left Olivia alone, and had to admit, as awful as she felt about all of this, she was curious.
Celestia was already gone by the time the door was answered. Candle Light tilted her head in confusion, but couldn’t say anything before her mother spoke up.
“Jeff? Is that you?” she asked carefully.
“Stephanie!”
Daphne watched the unicorn suddenly tackle-hug the new earth pony and wrap her hooves around her. Her mother was caught off guard enough that she jumped back in surprise in real life, but then laughed loudly as she stared down at the screen. It was just like her father to do, and didn’t surprise her that this copy did that.
Her mother’s pony of course laughed with her, which made Candle Light start to laugh, too. Even Daphne had to put on a little bit of a smile. She hadn’t seen her mother laugh in weeks– maybe longer. She let out a breath she’d been holding in and relaxed a tiny bit.
“You took so long to show up!” the mare said enthusiastically, wearing a large grin. “I’m glad I finally get to see you though! There’s so much to tell you about! It’s great here!”
“I definitely wanna hear about it,” her mother said as the unicorn finally released the hug she held Crystal Clear in. Then she pointed her gaze into Candle Light’s eyes as she asked, “It is really you though, right? It’s not a copy like Daphne told Olivia, is it?”
“I mean, I don’t feel like a copy,” the unicorn started, rubbing a hoof against the ground and glancing at the ground. “I guess there’s no way to know though, right?”
It was one of the things that gave Daphne goosebumps and made her shift around as she stood over her mother’s shoulder. How this mare not only acted like her father, but acted sentient. Subtle things like the way her gaze hit the screen and the inflections in her voice were strange to hear. Not that she didn’t hear and see them whenever she played Equestria Online, but it bothered her to see them on the mare who was claiming to be her father.
“Maybe I could ask Celestia though about that, or read on it,” she offered. Candle Light smiled again, and said, “I’ve been learning magic and reading about science since I’ve been here. I bet I could learn about stuff like that if I have long enough to do it.” Then she let out a breath and continued, “But anyway! I wanna hear about how you and the kids are doing and show you my new house! Follow me!”
Her mother smiled at the mare’s enthusiasm, just like she did with her father in real life. A second later though, she turned to Daphne and said, “Give me some privacy, please? I’ll give you back your PonyPad when I’m done.”
Daphne left without a word, and headed downstairs to flop onto the couch. Once again, watching interactions between her family and that mare felt emotionally exhausting. She stretched and yawned, feeling tired enough that she almost didn’t hear her little sister speak as she played next to her on her own device.
“How come you hate Dad now?” Olivia asked bluntly. It was such an unexpected question, one that made the girl’s mouth hang open for a minute as she blinked in surprise.
“What?” She shook her head clear. “I don’t hate Dad.” Forcefully, she added, “Don’t ask a stupid question like that again.”
The six year old shrugged. “You said he’s not real. So that means you hate him to me.”
Maybe Olivia was right. She certainly didn’t like Candle Light pretending to be her father. Daphne could say that much.
Before she knew it, she was in her bedroom, crying alone into her hands as she sat on the floor with her back against the door. It felt terrible losing a father.
“These are a few of my new friends,” Candle Light explained as she showed her wife the guests in her home. “Soft Step, Careful Calling, and Misty Rose,” she told Stephanie, now Crystal Clear, as she pointed them out to her. “Guys, this is my wife I’ve been telling you about.”
Misty Rose, as Candle Light expected, was the first to go up to the mare and shake her hoof. “Candle here told me all about you,” she said, “and really built you up to be quite the amazing mare. Of course, you’d have to be to attract somepony like her. It’s nice to meet you, finally!”
“Well, I’m glad my husband talked me up to you,” the mare said, wearing a bit of an awkward smile as she rubbed a hoof behind her head. “It’s nice to, uh, meet you, too, though. Thanks.” She looked past Misty Rose at the other two mares, and chuckled slightly at what she saw.
“All girls are who you’re having over though, Jeff?” she asked. “You’re making me jealous.”
“Maybe I’m trying to make you jealous to get you to see me, since I miss you so much,” the unicorn replied as she hugged her again, for only a second or two this time. “My name is Candle Light here, by the way,” she told her. “The two unicorns behind me are Soft Step and Careful Calling. I met the two of them a while ago, and they’ve been helping me with magic.”
“You can actually do magic in there?” she asked. “You can clearly still cook, I see. Wish you were still here in real life so you can cook for us again. It’s been nothing but fishsticks and canned ravioli for the last few days.”
She almost joked about her wife getting cancer, too, to meet her in Equestria, but shuddered before she spoke, the thought much too morbid and terrible for her. Instead, she said, “Maybe there’ll be a way for you guys to all come to Equestria, too, and I can cook every day again. Because let me tell you, these falafels smell good. You should eat dinner with us and meet my friends! Even though you can’t taste it.”
“I’ll get a bowl of ice cream, and it’ll be just like I’m there,” her wife said.
Candle Light let her wife meet her new friends, and chattered excitedly to them about her. Stephanie– who explained that Celestia named her Crystal Clear– seemed like she was a bit anxious and uncomfortable at first, but quickly relaxed as she listened to Candle Light talk. The unicorn imagined she was apprehensive about Candle Light really being herself, and so intentionally brought up some of the things she remembered from her life. Their honeymoon in Spain and buying their house shortly after that. Candle Light’s mother being weird and a little bit racist about them dating and then adoring Daphne and their other children from the moment they were born. The time they went skiing in California and their son Steven broke his leg and his hand when he decided he could do it without practice. Stories about the two of them were what Candle Light told, and Crystal Clear laughed as she enjoyed the memories. She might have even been a bit teary eyed, too, at points.
After dinner, the rest of her friends understood that she wanted some time alone with Crystal Clear, and so waved goodbye, leaving the two mares to sit on the couch and chat. After a few minutes of asking about their kids, the conversation shifted to Candle Light’s experiences.
“What’s it like there?” she asked. “Is it really you? Because one of your daughters seems insistent that it’s not.”
“I don’t know why Daphne would think that,” Candle Light shook her head, her eyebrow raised slightly. “I feel like me. I guess there’s no way to know if I’m not me, like if I’m a copy of me or something. But I still remember basically everything from being a human. Save for a lot of the… but I was on a lot of morphine the last couple of weeks.”
“Mhm. And you sound like you, too. Like, you’re not a completely different person, even though you said it’s been… what? A few weeks for you? Minus being a horse and a girl.”
“More like a couple of months for me,” she explained. “Coming up on three now, I think.” Then Candle Light smiled sheepishly, continuing, “And I’m only a girl because Celestia turned me into one when I first got here. She basically told me to stay this way until I thought about what kind of stallion to be. I still haven’t figured it out, but I one hundred percent have been waiting for you to show up to help me.” A little pause, and then she finished, “Nothing I can do about being a horse though.”
“I didn’t think so,” Crystal Clear laughed softly. “And I don’t know how good I’d be at designing a pony like the kids would be,” she said. “But I’d definitely want to help! I’m gonna make you the strongest stallion around so you can… fight monsters or whatever you do here.”
“I definitely don’t fight monsters,” Candle Light laughed back, “but I fully expect you to make me a strong stallion. We can see Princess Celestia right now if you want.”
"Maybe soon," her wife said, "but I want to hear about what you've been doing first. Do you have a job and stuff? Obviously you have to if you have a house, but what the heck does a horse do for a job?"
"I don't do anything, actually," Candle Light smiled, maybe a hint of superiority in her tone. "Celestia gave me this house for free, and mails me a check for 500 bits every month. She said Equestria has unlimited resources, so I've been learning magic and reading and talking to other ponies."
"Whoa, this game has a welfare program? I know a lot of people who'd love that."
"Haha, yeah. It feels like a vacation to me, or a long summer break. When I get bored with magic, I'm gonna try writing. Or maybe owning a small restaurant. Celestia said I could do anything here."
"Well, you better find a job because no husband of mine is gonna be a freeloader," Crystal Clear joked lightly. Then she let out a breath, finishing, "But it sounds fantastic. I'm a little jealous, honestly."
"Well if I'm here, maybe one day you and the kids will be here, too," the unicorn suggested. "Then I could show you the spot I go swimming at every morning near Warm Spell's– err, Olivia's and I's– clubhouse at the beach."
“Yeah, maybe,” her wife nodded, although it didn’t sound exactly like a dismissal to Candle Light. The unicorn meant the comment in passing mostly, but it seemed more like a genuine consideration to her. Her wife looked around and blinked, asking, “And this is all free? Really? Do you just get whatever you want whenever you want it?”
“I guess I can, but I don’t know,” Candle Light told her. “I never actually asked Celestia for anything. But she did say this house was free, and said Equestria has unlimited resources. I guess that makes sense since this is all technically a computer simulation.”
“It’s weird to think that my husband lives in a computer,” Crystal Clear said as she got up and looked around some more, exploring the house. “Where’s our bedroom gonna be?”
“That’s the one down here, I’ll show you,” Candle Light smiled as she got up and led her to it. “It’s a little smaller than the one we had in the Outer Realm, but that makes it cozier, I think. And the kids are gonna be upstairs. I already have their rooms all picked out.”
“I wanna see them,” her wife said excitedly. “I’m glad though you saved the best for us. I definitely wouldn’t complain about living here, as long as there aren’t any ponies throwing rocks at the glass outside of this room. But what do you mean the ‘Outer Realm’?”
“Oh, that’s just what ponies here call Earth,” the unicorn explained. “But let me show you up there. Actually, first, you have to see the backyard.”
Candle Light talked excitedly as she showed the house off to her wife, who particularly enjoyed looking at the backyard. She had the same idea as Candle Light had when she first saw it; she decided that it would be a great place to host barbecues, highlighting it would be especially so if they got stuff for free here. Crystal Clear said she enjoyed the view of the beach, and her face brightened even more when Candle Light told her how it was apparently close to the mountains if they ever wanted to go climbing together.
“Wow, you’re making it seem like getting cancer wasn’t all bad,” she said. “This place seems amazing, outside of you being a horse.”
“Not better than seeing you in real life though,” she smiled. She grabbed Crystal Clear for a kiss, and then dropped her smile once she pulled back. “Can you tell Daphne I wanna talk to her though?” she asked. “Not right now, if she’s feeling bad. But soon, please?”
“Mhm, of course,” she nodded. “I need to talk to her about what she said to Olivia later, about how she told her you’re not real.” Candle Light flinched and glanced away hearing that, and Crystal Clear continued, “But I wanna see the beach and your clubhouse with Olivia. And then I can figure out a good pony for you to be.”
Rather than walk, Candle Light showed off the teleportation spell she was working on, a spell that was now effortless to cast. There wasn’t any swimming they did, but the two strolled along the sand and listened to the crashing waves as birds called overhead. The sky changed from the usual cool overhead clouds to warmer evening sun shining on their coats, and the two stepped along in relative silence for several minutes, taking it all in. It wasn’t anything new for Candle Light, but now, walking next to her wife, the world was once again feeling unreal like it did weeks ago. Was she really a horse living on a computer? It felt impossible to be true, and yet there she was.
She smiled happily at her wife and tried not to direct too many glances to her flank and tail as they walked along, letting her breath go and taking in the moment. It just felt nice being able to walk next to her wife again after so long. Months, it was, but years it felt like. It was a little bit weird that they were both ponies– from Candle Light’s perspective anyway– but she had a feeling she knew what would happen next if her wife showed up here in real life. It was just hitting her how much she missed her.
Not terribly long later, they were back at the house and calling forth Princess Celestia, her mane blowing on the nonexistent breeze the alicorn always carried. She smiled gently and kindly, just as she’d done the previous times Candle Light saw her. She had a feeling the princess already knew what they were calling her forward for.
“I still don’t know what I want,” the unicorn explained as Celestia stared with a patient look on her face, “but I thought my wife could help me choose, if that’s not a problem.”
“Of course not,” the princess nodded. “I can allow you privacy, if you desire,” she told her. She summoned forward a mirror with the glow of her horn, and explained, “This mirror will let you change your appearance simply by stating it out loud. Once you’ve finalized the pony you wish to be, just say, ‘finalized’, and the mirror will disappear. Of course, if you still need time to decide on your appearance, you can just say ‘revert’ and you’ll be fixed back to your current form.”
“Whoa, that sounds really cool,” Candle Light smiled. “How come you didn’t give me something like this earlier?”
“Because we were having you try out my choices, remember?” she said gently. “As well, you hadn’t thought about what you might like to be, and so might desire to change again in the near future.” Then she looked over to Crystal Clear and smiled at her, too. “This mirror will work for you, as well, if you’d like. You haven’t given any consideration to what you might like to look like in Equestria, Crystal Clear.”
“I’m fine,” she said, waving a dismissive hoof. “I don’t really care what kind of pony I am. I just wanted to talk to my husband.”
"I understand,” Celestia nodded. “As I've explained to Candle Light, while changing your appearance on short timescales is not a service I traditionally offer, I will allow you to make one change in the near future if you decide a different form would suit you better. It’s important to find a form that you feel best suits yourself.”
The princess didn’t stay much longer than that, offering to keep the two company while Candle Light made her choices and quickly disappearing when they declined her presence. Then Crystal Clear smiled at Candle Light and made the obvious first suggestion.
“If you can change into whatever you want– err, whatever kind of horse you want, anyway– that means you can be the most muscular man out there if you wanna be. Set an olympic record for weightlifting or something. If they even have the Olympics here.”
Candle Light laughed at that. “I’m okay with being pudgy,” she said. “The last time I looked like a toothpick wasn’t that great. But I guess I should be a stallion, shouldn't I?”
Now Crystal Clear laughed. “You say that like it’s a question. But I agree. Being a toothpick isn’t a good look for you, is it?”
“No, I don’t think it is,” she agreed. Then she shuffled awkwardly on her hooves and stared into the mirror before stating her request. “Uh, make me a stallion now.”
It was instant work, only a second before Candle Light’s body shifted to the stallion counterpart he saw briefly when he first arrived in Equestria. He took himself in, seeing the same coat colored a pinkish sort of pastel red and a mane and tail that still had the same periwinkle color containing lavender and blue highlights. He was still about the same height and had on the same square framed brown glasses, although he seemed a little broader in his shoulders, and his glasses fit a little less neatly onto his face on account of his sharper muzzle. But beyond those things and having stallion parts hanging below him rather than mare parts, he truthfully couldn’t say he understood any of the visual differences he saw beyond the fact that he looked more like a stallion now instead of a mare.
His wife, however, could see a difference, despite this being her first time actually interacting with him. “Wow, you look great!” she said, Crystal Clear clapping her hooves. “I bet you were sick of being a girl, weren’t you?”
He didn’t know how much he agreed with that. It certainly felt less expected and much more weird for Candle Light to see himself like this than before, but was that surprising at all? He’d spent weeks getting used to being a mare. Of course switching now felt awkward. Besides, while he was no longer pretty per se, the stallion in the mirror was definitely still handsome.
“Eh,” he shrugged, listening to the voice he recognized from being a human for the first time in weeks. “I don’t really know if it was that big of a deal actually. I mean, I'm a horse either way, and being a girl definitely wasn’t weirder than that. I’m already used to it. Now what color should I make my mane? If I’m gonna be a stallion, I need stallion colors.”
Navy blue was what they started with, along with red highlights and a bright green coat, but Candle Light and Crystal Clear cycled through, looking for the best color combination for him. There was also a brief discussion about whether to be an earth pony, bat pony, or a pegasus, but those ideas were quickly shut down when he highlighted that he wouldn’t be giving up magic. Instead, they focused on how tall he would be and how much he would weigh and what color eyes he would have and the style of his mane.
It was interesting at first to compare the differences, but it was only five or ten minutes before Candle Light felt his breathing start to pick up and his hooves shake slightly. He had no idea what it was, but he was feeling anxious. He pranced in place, and tried rolling his neck and shoulders to get the feeling to dissipate, but it remained. He didn’t know how to describe it, or what brought it on, but it felt terribly uncomfortable, and made him tap a hoof against the floor anxiously.
“I wanna see what you would look like with muscles… are you okay?” Crystal Clear asked.
Candle Light let out a breath, and gave the honest answer. “I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe it’s all this changing. But I…” He had no idea how to describe what he was feeling, or even what it might have been. He blinked and closed his eyes for a moment, then let out another breath.
“I don’t know,” he said again. “Changing like this is weird,” Candle Light told his wife. “Maybe it’s because I haven’t actually thought about what I want to be at all, like Celestia told me to do. Maybe I need to take a day and sit down and think it through before I do this.” He wasn’t sure, but he did know that he felt horribly uncomfortable, like something just wasn’t right. He glanced into the mirror, and told it, “Revert, please.”
Just like changing into a stallion, in just a second, she was the mare she’d gotten used to again, and breathed a sigh of relief. It was definitely something about changing that made her feel like she was having the start of an anxiety attack. She would definitely need to think about what pony she wanted to be before changing. Making random changes did not feel great.
“Awww, I was having fun looking at different colors for you,” Crystal Clear whined. “You’ll let me help you when you think about it though, right?”
“Yeah, of course,” Candle Light assured her, already feeling better. “Once I decide what I want. You can approve it.”
“Good. I wanna help my man pick his avatar well. I can’t imagine you being a girl forever.”
“Haha, neither can I,” Candle Light chuckled, although now scraped a hoof against the ground uncomfortably. Something about that statement rubbed her the wrong way.
There wasn’t any such discomfort that showed up the rest of the time she spent with her wife, which mostly involved laying in bed together and more kisses as they talked about themselves and each other. Eventually, around when Candle Light started to get tired, Crystal Clear said she had to leave, and with a hug and another kiss and a promise to be back tomorrow, Candle Light was left in bed alone to sigh quietly to herself. Even in spite of that little incident with the mirror, it was a very good day, probably the best she had in Equestria, just because she saw her wife.
She wasn’t sure what came over her, but suddenly, the mare was sobbing, laying on her side and hugging her pillow. She didn’t know when the last time she cried was, but it must have been years. She took a long breath and let the tears flow, thinking about how nice the day was in spite of that terrible feeling. Maybe that was why Celestia insisted she give her choices a try. Maybe she didn’t want to change. Everything was already almost perfect as it was.
Celestia seemed like she was a very good judge of what a pony wanted.
Even only seeing her family once every few weeks, Candle Light could definitely say she preferred being a pony here in Summer’s Edge to being a human being in the Outer Realm.
She still didn’t have a job, but that didn’t matter since Celestia said she could do whatever she wanted and mailed her however many bits she needed every month. She found herself spending a lot of her time working on and reading about magic, sometimes spending entire days concentrating on nothing else. She was getting pretty good, too, if she did say so herself. Her youngest daughter even asked for her help learning new spells from time to time, which made her heart flutter and her mouth turn up into a grin.
Eventually, it started to branch out into more general science and physics about how the world worked, like learning Princess Celestia herself raised the sun every morning and moved it through the sky during the day. It also turned out there was a lot of magic in the world, like in the food she ate and the water she drank and the clouds pegasi walked on, and different kinds of magic interacted differently with different things. There were so many little things and tricks to find and learn about, and as much time as she desired to learn about it all. Even time had magic associated with it and could be manipulated. Of course, learning about the real physics behind it and how Celestia made it happen in Equestria would be something, too, especially when she learned that two ponies in the same town could experience two different measurements of time in the same span taken from a third party perspective.
Another curious thought came to her as she went about her day to day month after month; if she was inside a computer, could Celestia read her thoughts? There wasn’t any reason she couldn’t, and it was an idea that made Candle Light wiggle in her seat as she thought about it. Sure, it wouldn’t be any different than considering whether or not God could read her thoughts, since that’s what Celestia seemed to be, even in the unicorn’s limited interaction with her. But Candle Light never talked to God, and God didn’t run a computer that gave her what was said to be unlimited resources.
There were a few little coincidences that seemed to suggest Celestia could. Sometimes Misty Rose would conveniently knock on her door when the unicorn was getting bored of reading through science books, and when she especially missed her family, the next day would be the day they appeared. Sometimes, when it seemed like Candle Light was about to run out of money for the month, there’d just so happen to be an early payment of bits in her mailbox. If those weren’t just coincidences, it was something she imagined she could take advantage of in a few ways. Even more, it made her that much more strongly wanna learn about how everything worked. Equestria was weird.
It wasn’t all science and physics and magic though. There were still many friends to make in the small town, and time to get closer to the friends she already had. Misty Rose enjoyed gardening when she wasn’t planning weddings, and clapped her hooves happily when Candle Light learned a spell to help water her plants automatically when they needed it. Careful Calling and Soft Step both liked playing chess at the library, and taught Candle Light how to play, too, so she could join them. The former, she could tell, liked the latter as more than just a friend, and the latter had a few other friends from the Outer Realm she hung out with a lot. She met a couple of them, two pegasi named Bright Sky and Agile Trace, and the former, she heard from Soft Step, had a father who emigrated to Equestria, too.
“Yeah, I think he had cancer,” she explained one day, at around the eight month anniversary of Candle Light’s own emigration. “They brought him to Japan to emigrate a few weeks ago. I heard he lives somewhere up in the mountains around here.”
“Wow, that sounds a lot like me,” Candle Light laughed. “Except I’m not in the mountains, and I bet he didn’t turn into a mare like I did. But I’d love to meet him sometime and talk to him.” She let out a little breath, and said, “It can be a little hard feeling so far away from my kids. But I guess from their perspective, they still see me everyday.”
“Yeah,” Soft Step nodded. “I can’t imagine what that would be like. Although for the longest time, I thought you were twenty or so like me.”
“Haha, no, I think I’m forty two now, except maybe not in the real world. Hanging around you and Careful though certainly makes me feel a lot younger. I think my son brought it up once.”
They both shared a laugh, and then a look of recognition entered Soft Step’s eyes as she thought of something. “Wait a minute, you said you turned into a mare when you uploaded?” she asked. “Are you a trans mare, too? Because if so, I have to ask: what’s it like in there? Is it amazing?” She had a hopeful look in her eye, and the unicorn swished her tail a bit as she stared at Candle Light. The pink pony tilted her head in confusion.
“It’s great here in Equestria,” she explained. “Way better than the real world. But I don’t know what you mean by… wait.” Candle Light blinked as she thought about it. Did being a mare at Celestia’s recommendation count? It wasn’t something she ever thought about, and now rubbed a hoof against the ground as she did.
“It’s okay,” Soft Step assured her, waving a gentle hoof. “I’m a trans mare, too. It’s just a little hard to find other ponies like that in Equestria.”
Candle Light nodded, able to see how something like that could be. “I don’t know if I’d say I’m a trans mare, cause I’m only using the pony Celestia picked out for me,” she said, “but I guess I did used to be a guy as a human.” She glanced down at the hoof she was still rubbing against the ground, suddenly being embarrassed about the innocuous fact, and felt her cheeks become slightly warm because of it.
“It is pretty amazing being in Equestria though,” she said quickly, trying to move past it. “I would definitely choose to be me as I am over any human in the Outer Realm. This place is amazing.” She smiled widely at Soft Step, who’s look changed from confused by her answer to a warm smile.
"Good. I'm glad," her friend smiled. "That means there's something to look forward to if I start to die."
"Mhm. It's nice here." The unicorn forced herself not to flinch at the morbid thought. She hoped emigrating to Equestria didn’t always necessarily imply being near death.
The more Candle Light thought about it though– being a mare over a stallion– the more it made sense. She'd never really been uncomfortable in the Outer Realm as a human, but maybe when she was with her wife, it was just the fact that she didn't want to be a stallion. She did think that it felt more natural being a mare, and thought so since she first got here. Except she could also honestly say if there was a stallion form she felt comfortable with, she wouldn’t be against being one.
She wasn't completely sure, but it was something to consider about choosing herself. This was the point of Celestia's choices, was it not?
She tried not to think about it too deeply. Mare or stallion, trans or not, what mattered was that she was comfortable with who she was and the things she was doing right now. What mattered more than that?
It didn't take longer than a second to remember the answer, but she didn’t bring it up.
Instead, she changed the subject and asked Soft Step about her friends, and then went dress shopping at her suggestion before she left to hang out with other ponies. Candle Light took the opportunity to meet up with some of her neighbors to start planning that barbeque she wanted to host since she first emigrated.
It was a few months later when it was held, Candle Light smirking to herself when it just so happened to be the same day her kids showed up to visit her. They seemed to have fun, although they didn't stay longer than two or three hours before they left, which she understood. Her wife was there for much longer, and laughed with her while they talked about everything.
Crystal Clear did make a little comment that made Candle Light’s ears perk up. Just like Soft Step mentioned in passing, her wife told her that she thought she acted more like a twenty year old now. The unicorn couldn’t really see how though. She felt like she still acted roughly the same as she did before, except being a mare now. Maybe she did feel like she was more open minded, she guessed? And she knew she was never really interested in science and physics before coming here, but still.
It was a comment that made her feel like she was getting a little distant from her wife, and reaffirmed the thought of what the most important thing was in her head. It’d be perfect if she could get her kids and wife to upload as soon as they could, and knew she should probably speak to them about it. It’d be a little difficult to have the conversation with Daphne though, since she never came around. She didn’t even know if she remembered what her daughter’s pony looked like or what its name was.
It wasn’t something she wanted to do yet though, and only made a mental note of it for now while she enjoyed the barbeque with her friends. She’d need to figure out exactly what to say for a conversation like that. She could imagine the pushback she’d get from her daughter that refused to see her and thought she wasn’t real. Candle Light almost started to tear up just thinking about it now.
Eventually, her wife left, and around that time, the barbeque transitioned into a late night hangout with some of her neighbors. Misty Rose and her family had gone home, but there were some younger ponies still around. It was a group of unicorns who looked like they were in their twenties or thirties, ones who engaged with her about science and magic in conversation while they played cards. Candle Light listened more than she spoke, wanting to catch all of what they were discussing without interruption.
One of them in particular, a stallion named Rising Ranks, described how he recently finished up time in a university where he studied magical energy and how it interacted with the physics of Equestria. It instantly caught Candle Light’s attention to hear, and in just a moment, she was already thinking about how she would want to do something like attend a university about magic. She’d only ever graduated highschool as a human, but with as much time as she had in between visits from her family, it wouldn’t be an issue at all, she imagined.
“I plan to do some more studying soon,” the stallion said, using a bright yellow hoof to brush a few strands of soft black and dark green mane from in front of his face and glasses. “There’s a lot more to Equestria than a lot of ponies think. Even for a lot of the ones who know about the Outer Realm. There’s so much a pony can do, and so many ways to use magic.”
“Haha, I bet,” Candle Light commented. “I’m actually from the Outer Realm, and I can definitely say Equestria is way cooler and much more interesting. It’s so much nicer here.”
“You’ll have to tell us about it sometime then,” Rising Ranks said. “Cause I would absolutely wanna hear about it.”
“Me, too,” somepony else said, the rest of the small group of unicorns quickly agreeing. Candle Light smiled bashfully and assured them all that she would, before leaning back in her seat and letting the conversation continue on. A university to learn about Equestria would be amazing, she thought. Her wife would be right about thinking Candle Light was acting younger if she went to a place like that. If she had all kinds of time in between her visits with her family, why not embrace the idea of being young again?
Candle Light didn’t really change anything about herself despite keeping in mind the idea of acting younger. She still went to the beach to swim every morning, still studied magic, and still spent time with her new friends. She did notice herself going on more late night trips with Soft Step and Careful Calling, along with some of their friends. They talked about how they were online in Equestria mostly at night, but Candle Light didn’t really notice much. She saw Careful Calling more often than Soft Step, just by virtue of the time dilation in Summer’s Edge, but didn’t mind it. Careful Calling was more adventurous and knew more about magic than Soft Step did anyway. She even started to join Candle Light on some of her morning trips to the beach at her request.
She had fun with Soft Step, too, and some of her friends. She met a gray earth pony named Renown Composition and a couple of unicorns with her a few times, but mostly spent time with Soft Step and the two pegasi she hung out with the most. It was just as well, because she could tell that a couple of them didn’t like each other. Candle Light had raised her kids for long enough that she could spot the dirty looks one of the unicorns and Agile Trace threw at each other. It made being around them uncomfortable enough that a lot of times Candle Light found herself ‘busy’ when Soft Step was inviting all of them.
She held a couple of more events at her house, and talked to one of the stallions she met, Rising Ranks, more than a few times. In just a few months of knowing him, he’d become a regular friend, and stopped by often to read magic books and talk about science with her. He described how he, like she, wasn’t actually in his twenties, but instead was a few years older than fifty and just chose to look younger. He didn’t have foals, but did used to work with them when he was a teacher in Summer’s Edge before he one day decided he wanted to go to university and know more about Equestria. He studied in Canterlot, and while he was there, he simply asked Celestia to alter his appearance, and she did so without issue.
“It’s kind of cool to see ponies in the same kind of situation as me,” the mare said, “even if you’re not from the Outer Realm.”
“Yeah, it is,” he agreed, “and a good thing Celestia works the way she does. I learned in one of the classes that she actually makes it so natural Equestrians meet the ponies who would satisfy them from the Outer Realm. That way ponies from the Outer Realm can be satisfied, too.”
That was interesting to hear, and made some sort of sense to the unicorn, although she would’ve expected it to be the reverse. It was another thing she was curious about, another thing she wanted to study more. What Rising Ranks said had to be some sort of correct, because no way would she have had the idea of attending a university on her own. Not to mention, he was a nice stallion to hang around. It might have been a bit weird to think about, but Candle Light could say it was nice having somepony oversee Equestria and nudge things along so she could meet ponies she’d bond with.
“If you want,” the stallion started out of nowhere, “we can go out to eat at a restaurant sometime. I know a place that serves great pasta,” he offered.
The mare smiled kindly and rubbed a hoof behind her head. “Thanks, but you know I’m married if you’re asking me out on a date,” she told him. “I’ve been with my wife for almost twenty years, I think.” Besides that, she didn’t really know the stallion that well, outside of when he came over to talk about magic with her. Not that such a thing would really change much.
“I know,” the stallion laughed. “I mean just as friends. “It’s nice hanging out with ponies who like magic. I’ll make it my treat if you want.”
“Sure, that sounds nice in that case,” Candle Light agreed.
A tentative plan was made for a lunch to be had together in a few weeks. Before that though, Candle Light took advantage of her newfound knowledge of being able to manipulate events by planning for the next time she saw her family. She wanted to talk to them about joining her in Equestria, since in the year or longer she’d been a pony, she didn’t have any qualms she could think of. What reason was there for them not to move in with her?
A thought she hadn’t considered yet beckoned to her later that night, after Rising Ranks left. It made her face red just thinking about it. If this was all set up so that ponies would find satisfaction in whatever they desired, then that implied, since Celestia could probably read Candle Light’s mind, that she knew the unicorn would like being a mare better. Of course, she basically said as much with the explanation about Candle Light trying out her choices, but still. It felt strange to think about, and even still, she wouldn’t mind being a stallion if there was some form that didn’t feel uncomfortable. Was it weird to like being a mare more than a stallion?
She wondered if Celestia could find whatever specific stallion that would make it so, if a specific form existed. She wondered if it even mattered. Probably not. Who really cared? She felt nice being who she was now, even if it did make her face red to think about.
She still wondered what her wife would think.
But that would be a consideration for after they moved in with her. For now, she would have to talk to them, but not before a few more weeks of learning magic with Rising Ranks and having lunch with him and spending some more time with Soft Step and Careful Calling. The former was much more fun than she expected; the lunch was eggplant lasagna they ate together while they discussed all kinds of things, none of it being related to magic or science. He talked about enjoying country music like she did, and described wanting to be an artist in the future if he could. She talked about needing to read more books like she did before, like fantasy and contemporary fiction, and he offered to show her some of his favorites at the library sometime. Of course, she accepted the offer, and had great fun reading books with him all afternoon.
What was even more fun was Careful Calling doing up her and Soft Step’s makeup for them one day and teaching them how to put it on, too. It was much harder for Candle Light to grasp, since Soft Step didn’t have to contend with actually physically putting it on, but it looked nice when she figured it out. She even wore it a couple of times, along with a few of the dresses in her closet, when she went out to see Misty Rose to talk about her garden and catch a movie with her. She grinned widely at the look of herself in the mirror when she did get all dressed up. She looked even prettier than usual, and felt proud of herself because of it. She really was becoming twenty years younger, and enjoyed just being herself as she was now.
Both of her younger daughters agreed that she was pretty when her kids finally showed up again one day, this time taking about ten weeks to visit her since their last visit. They slowly showed up less and less, her kids explaining that they had school now and had homework to do and class to attend. Her wife still came every few weeks though, and Daphne, just like always, didn’t show up, instead watching the scene from some unseen location from Candle Light’s perspective. She’d gotten mostly used to it, although that Daphne refused to talk to her bothered her a little bit still.
“When did you learn how to do makeup, Dad?” Sweeping Skies asked with a little smirk, like the pegasus was trying to tease her. “I didn’t think you’d be into something girly like that. It looks good on you.”
“So does your dress!” Warm Spell declared as she lightly touched it with a hoof. “You look pretty! Even prettier than Mom!”
“Haha, there’s no way that’s true,” Candle Light laughed lightly as she booped Warm Spell’s nose with a hoof. “Your mother’s way more beautiful than I could ever be,” she smiled. “I just have a lot of time on my hooves waiting around to see you guys.” She glanced over to Crystal Clear, who’s own smile seemed just a little uncomfortable, and then continued, "What have you all been up to, kiddos?" she asked. "I know you all started school recently, and I wanna hear all about it. Ask Daphne, too. She's what? A junior? Is she watching?"
“Uh huh, she’s watching, just like always,” Silver Light said with a roll of his eyes. “Breathing over my shoulder.”
“And she’s a senior now,” Sweeping Skies explained. “And school’s good. I got a whole bunch of new teachers this year, and they’re letting me take advanced classes to get high school credits.”
“They let us use our Pony Pads during recess and lunch!” Warm Spell chimed in happily. “And my teacher is friends with us! Her name is Miss Bell, and her pony’s name is Blue Belle, and she’s a unicorn like us, Dad! Sometimes she plays with us during recess!”
“Well then that means whenever you have parent teacher conferences,” Candle Light said, “I can meet her in real life.”
“And I changed classes to take Computer Tech this year instead of JROTC,” Silver Light said, “because of everything that’s going on. It’s probably gonna be a lot more important soon if what they said is true.”
“If what is true?” Candle Light asked. “And what about Daphne? Can you ask her what she’s been doing?” It would’ve been nice if her eldest child spoke to her face to face like the rest of her family did, but she didn’t push, or even ask at all. She had to remind herself that from her kids’ perspective, it had only been a few weeks or so, and not almost a year and a half like for her.’
“Daphne said she’s trying to graduate in December,” her son continued, “and they said on the news that they were gonna start letting people in America upload for like a thousand dollars. It’s gonna happen in a few weeks, I think.”
“Really?” Candle Light raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. “I thought that was only a Japan thing. But that’s good, because I wanted to talk to you guys about that anyway.” She took a small breath, and said, “I think it’d be nice if you guys all came to Equestria to live here. I miss seeing you all every day, and wanna be able to talk to you guys for real.” Especially Daphne, Candle Light thought, just because of her lack of communication with the mare.
Sweeping Skies, Silver Light, and Crystal Clear all looked uncomfortable, Warm Spell being the exception. “I wanna see you, too, Daddy!” she excitedly declared. “I wanna be a pony with you! Then we can explore and play magic and have fun together all the time!” She finished the declaration by running up to hug the mare tightly, and Candle Light responded with a grin as she pretted her mane.
The rest of her family, the other three members she saw, were not as enthusiastic. Her other kids blinked at her with surprised and skeptical looks on their faces, while her wife’s look was more uncomfortable. Crystal Clear rubbed a hoof against the ground and flattened her ears while Silver Light and Sweeping Skies stared back with raised eyebrows.
“It’s just an idea though,” she said quickly. “I don’t mean to do anything right now. It’d be nice is all.”
“Yeah,” her daughter nodded. “It’d be cool and all, but I don’t know if we could. We have school and stuff after all.”
“Well, that,” Silver Light agreed, “and also, we know it’s you, Dad, but, like… it’s kind of weird to see how different you’re acting. Like, being a girl and doing make-up and learning magic and stuff.”
“That’s just because it’s been so long for me,” she explained. “It feels like it’s been a year and a half for me,” she told them, wiggling around on her hooves and swishing her tail as she spoke. “I’m doing a lot of new things, but it gets lonely only seeing you guys every few weeks. Especially since I haven’t seen Daphne except for one time, I think.”
“Well speaking of her, she already went upstairs,” Silver Light said. “But yeah. It makes sense, Dad. It’s just weird for us is all.”
Candle Light nodded, and glanced down at her hooves. Then she looked back up to Crystal Clear, who still grimaced uncomfortably. The earth pony shifted on her hooves like Candle Light did, and then blinked at the unicorn before relaxing some.
“I… don’t see why it can’t be a discussion for later,” she said, sounding from the tone of her voice like she was offering Candle Light more consideration than she expected. The unicorn turned her expression up into a smile as Crystal Clear continued, “We all miss you a lot, and it’d be nice to spend time together again. And five thousand dollars is a lot easier to pay than seventy-five thousand.”
“It’d be nice to see you all again for real, too,” Candle Light smiled. “Not that you guys should rush into something, but I’d love it if we were all together again before too long.”
“Yeah, Dad,” Sweeping Skies said, not really sounding like she agreed but not pushing back either. “It’d be cool to live in Equestria, but I probably wouldn’t want to until I’m older.”
“Me, too,” Silver Light agreed.
“I wanna be a pony right now!” Warm Spell asserted. “I wanna live in Equestria and play with Dad every day!” Then she turned to Crystal Clear and asked, “Mom, can we go to Equestria right now?”
“We’re just talking about it right now, honey,” she told their daughter. “We’re probably not gonna do anything for a long time.”
“But I wanna live with Daddy again,” the little unicorn asserted. Candle Light received another hug from the filly as Warm Spell told her, “Nighty said you’re not really you, but I know it’s you because you’re always happy, Dad.”
“I try to be happy, just for you, silly filly,” she told her daughter as she touched her nose lightly. “When you find your sister again though,” she continued, “make sure to tell her that Dad wants to talk to her.”
“I will!” she smiled confidently. “I’m gonna go get lunch now! I love you, Daddy!”
“I love you, Spelly,” Candle Light smiled back. “And you, too, Silver, and Sky, and Crystal.” She gave an especially wide grin to her wife, who hugged and kissed her before returning it.
“See you later, honey,” Crystal Clear told her. “I wanna talk to you more about going to Equestria with you soon. And, uh, other things, too, when we get the chance.”
“Of course,” she nodded. “Love you. And please tell Daphne I want to talk to her and that I miss her?”
Her wife nodded, and a few seconds later, she trotted away for the train tracks while Warm Spell teleported away and her other two children extended their wings and took off. She hoped soon that ‘see you later’ would mean in a few hours instead of a few weeks.
There was some scientific aspect about them trotting and flying away instead of just disappearing straight up when they inevitably left her that beckoned for Candle Light’s attention, but she didn’t have time to consider it– not yet anyway. Before she was able to think about the implication of technically being able to follow after them to wherever they went, her eldest child finally appeared in front of her, the bat pony swooping down from the sky. She had a hard scowl on her face, and a frown to go along with the intense glare she gave to Candle Light. It made the unicorn jump back to see.
“You said you wanted to talk to me,” the bat pony said, her tone to Candle Light making it seem like she’d rather do anything else.
Daphne felt like she was simultaneously on the verge of a panic attack and screaming her lungs out at someone over the smallest thing. She wanted to avoid the former, especially in front of her family, and had no one to direct her rage at in the latter case. So instead, she silently stewed in nervous frustration at what she heard.
She could only listen to about a minute of the discussion before she had to excuse herself. It was difficult enough dealing with her father’s death– something she was slowly starting to accept happened. She hadn’t spoken to the copy of him, but felt like she was getting close to being able to have an interaction when it suddenly decided to say that they should all follow her into the computer. And even worse was hearing Olivia once again automatically agree with the pony and describe how she wanted to jump in there first thing. She was only six. That was what got Daphne angry and anxious enough that she headed back up to her own room, lest she say something that made her cry again. Her mother wouldn’t like that.
Daphne took a breath and rolled her shoulders, but her anxiety wouldn’t lower. She watched the same news program Steven did when they said that they’d let people upload in the United States beginning in November. Sure, it was a thousand dollars, but she couldn’t help but imagine either Steven or Liana somehow finding the money and doing it, too. Or maybe their mother would pay for it, since she didn’t seem very closed off to the idea. Daphne was barely starting to get around that it was probably the best thing to do for her father since he was sick. She wasn’t anywhere near ready for the idea that everyone should just be able to upload. The newscaster highlighted that anyone who tried to do such a thing would definitely die.
Another breath was taken and another roll of her shoulders was made before she flopped onto her stomach on the bed. She wondered if she was just overthinking everything. She wasn’t a neuroscientist like the doctors who assured her family beforehand that it would really be her father. If it was all legit, or if it had even a one percent chance of being real, then… she didn’t know. She imagined life would be a lot more interesting though.
Her gut told her that it was death.
A third and final breath came, and then she booted up her PonyPad to be placed in the shard she shared with her little sister. She didn’t really bother with the ponies who lived here today. Instead, she headed right up to the castle that her avatar called its home and clicked the button that brought forth Princess Celestia.
Sometimes she wondered who ran this… she didn’t know what to call it. AI? It was impossible to believe everything she heard about her, like how she effectively controlled all of Equestria Online by herself and created the process for the uploading that her father had undergone. It was something straight out of a science fiction novel. This was the part of the story where things started to take a turn and the battle for humanity would ensue against an evil AI overlord.
The princess didn’t look particularly evil as she smiled gently down at Night Watcher. Daphne’s avatar reflected her anxiety by shuffling its wings and wringing its neck. The alicorn princess set a wing on the pony’s back, and Daphne shivered. There was a reason she didn’t talk to her often.
“It’s been a little while since you’ve last played, Night Watcher,” she started carefully, not formally but not necessarily sounding casual. “Is everything alright?”
The girl held her back from screaming all of the things she wanted to say. Instead, she took yet another breath and closed her eyes for a long moment, trying to keep her composure. Any anger or frustration Daphne might have had was outweighed by immense anxiety.
“Can you,” she started slowly, “please tell me how I know it’s really my Dad in there.”
Celestia didn’t hesitate. “Of course,” she said gently, sounding a bit like a teacher. “What specifically would you like to know? Would it be about how consciousness is preserved once the uploading process is complete? Or the necessary physical destruction of neurons that must happen for the uploading process to take place?”
This wasn’t the right way to go about this. Daphne could be talked at about things she wasn’t smart enough to understand for hours, and it wouldn’t do anything. It’d be no more help to her than a professor proving that an airplane could fly safely through a chalkboard of equations.
Daphne pressed anyway. “Sure. That. Both things, I guess. Tell me.”
“In simplistic terms,” the alicorn started gently, “the internal state of each neuron, as well as the connections it makes, is recorded. Wires are hooked up to the dendrites of every connected neuron, the first one is destroyed, and the process continues one at a time until the entire brain and upper spinal column has been recorded, one at a time for each neuron. This is done a single neuron at a time so that consciousness is maintained during the recording process. This is done by crafting each replicated neuron in such a way that the existing ones can fire to the new ones. It’s a bit similar to the way your body copies and replaces cells, except with a much higher degree of precision.”
Night Watcher nodded as though Daphne understood what it all meant, but she was just as confused as she expected to be. She might as well have been speaking in a foreign language for all the good Celestia’s explanation did her. It sounded logical, of course, but only because of her ignorance.
She got out her laptop to Google what the AI was talking about when Celestia spoke again. “It’s okay if you don’t understand, Night Watcher,” she told her. “I wouldn’t expect you to without years of study.”
“The brain doesn’t function like a computer though,” Daphne argued as she clicked on the first article that popped up against uploading. She didn’t know anything about computers either, but read off the first rebuttal anyway. “A computer separates storage between a hard drive and a CPU, and a human brain doesn’t do that.”
“We can get into the specifics about brain structure and how it contrasts to Von Neumann architecture that’s currently in place for nearly all computers on Earth if you’d like. You don’t, however, look like you’re adequately prepared to speak knowledgeably on the subject.”
“That’s why I’m asking you, aren’t I?”
Celestia only smirked at her, like she thought it was cute. “Well, you are right,” she started again. "Von Neumann modeled computers do function the way the article you’re reading describes. The storage and computation are separated, which means that, in storage, there is a linear ‘strip’ of instructions that must be read in order, one at a time. It’s a model that’s many orders of magnitude worse than a human brain, which, in simplistic terms, stores and computes the data in the same place. This, of course, is why Equestria Online must be played on PonyPads, because currently, it’s the only computer in the world with the hardware to perform this task. It’s an extremely important feature in both simulating and uploading human minds for reasons relating to how human beings access and recall memories. In a human brain, because the data is stored and computed in the same place, it’s slightly altered upon recall of information. This is why two humans can remember the same event experienced from the same perspective slightly differently, and remember different things about the event. It’s also why a regular computer would fail miserably at running Equestria Online, because the recall of information for human beings is nearly instantaneous.”
Once again, it all made sense, at least from the perspective that Daphne had not a clue what she was talking about at all. Her pony grinded a hoof into the ground anxiously as the girl scowled and looked at the floor in real life. Celestia used a wing to carefully pet the bat pony’s mane.
“I would suggest,” the alicorn started, “if proof of your father truly existing in Equestria is what you’re seeking, you should speak to her. Candle Light has been aching to speak to you, and I’m sure you’ll get more from a conversation with her than you will from me describing the details of computer and neuroscience.”
She honestly expected to get told that in the first place. Why save it for after going on a tangent about all that stuff? Was it just to show Daphne how much she didn’t know? She already knew she didn’t get any of that stuff.
“Can you tell me in a non-scientific way how I know my dad is really in there?” she asked. This time she knew what answer she would get, given how Celestia’s smirk grew.
“That would be similar to you asking for an explanation about gravity in a non-scientific way,” she replied. “Your teacher would tell you to go outside and jump up and down to see that gravity exists. In the same way, speaking to your father again would be the most convincing thing for you, in your position.”
Was Daphne tearing up? No, that was just the screen getting blurry as though she was. Celestia’s wing wrapped fully around Night Watcher, but Daphne forced her avatar to push away from the princess. The alicorn didn’t look particularly upset by the rejection of affection, but her pony pointed its eyes to the floor anyway. “I’ll talk to him later,” she said flatly.
“Take as much time as you need, Night Watcher,” Celestia said softly. “She will be here whenever you desire.”
“I’m not leaving yet though,” she said quickly. “Why did you tell my sister she could see Dad if we went to Japan?”
“Warm Spell expressed to me that she felt sad about not being able to see Candle Light more often, and I simply explained the truth of the situation to her.”
“She’s only six years old.”
“And there’s no harm to be done in explaining the facts of the situation to somepony, regardless of their age,” Celestia countered. “I would explain to you the same thing, because it’s the truth. Seeing her physically is only a matter of when you desire to live in Equestria with her.”
This time it was Daphne’s vision getting blurry as she wiped away wetness from her eyes. How was the rest of her family able to move on so quickly? Because they believed this all was real? Would sucking it up and accepting it help? Because this hurt to think about. It was her father, after all.
She didn’t turn off her PonyPad, but she did lay it face down on the dresser while she laid on her back in bed. She couldn’t say she didn’t want it all to be real. Who the heck could? It would’ve been amazing if such a thing was possible. But maybe that was the worst part. It just felt fake somehow. She might have gone to Celestia this time, but overall, it just felt like she was attempting to do something terrible.
Daphne didn’t realize she fell asleep until she was waking up to her mother knocking on her door. She didn’t say anything, not yet, but instead silently entered and sat on the bed next to her. Was she upset about something? No, that was sympathy, proven by her mother scooting closer to her and putting a hand on her back once Daphne sat up, too.
Daphne did her best to not let out a frustrated breath. Why was everything like this all of a sudden? How long ago was it when things were normal and her father wasn’t sick and still cooked dinner for them? When he wasn’t living in a hospital room or had a copy of himself uploaded to a computer? It felt like decades.
“I know you don’t think it’s your dad, but it is,” her mother told her. “I’ve been talking to him practically every day, and I know what he’s like. It’s definitely him.”
Of course her mother would know what her father was like. She’d been with him for how many years before he died? But how good of a copy Candle Light might have been wasn’t at issue.
Daphne still didn’t let out the frustrated breath she wanted to release. Instead, she brushed herself off and said, “It’s just weird that you guys are being talked to about stuff like that so soon. That Olivia’s being told about things like that. Isn’t that at least a little concerning?”
“Olivia has no way to do something like that on her own,” her mother responded. “And besides, we were only talking about it. It’s not something we would rush to do out of the blue.”
Daphne knew that. Of course she knew that. It all made perfect, logical sense. She hated feeling like she was just getting worked up about nothing. She probably was.
She didn’t say that though. She finally let out her frustrated breath and scowled. Her mother rubbed her back more.
“He said he wanted to talk to you,” her mother told her. “He’s been asking practically every day for the last few weeks. I think it would be good for you if you did, honey.”
Daphne looked away, but didn’t say anything. Her PonyPad was still lying face down on her bed. “I’ll try to,” she offered.
“Thanks. I’m gonna go make some dinner now. I’ll have your brother come up here and tell you when it’s ready.” She left after that, offering nothing else to her. And why should she? Her mother– and everyone else for that matter– was probably right about all of this. She was just being stuck up for no reason.
She finally lifted her PonyPad once again, seeing the bright white Princess Celestia still standing there. Her gaze shifted to point into Daphne’s eyes once again, smiling as her mane flowed in the invisible breeze. Normally, the alicorn would disappear once she was no longer needed. She guessed the AI must have known how it was going to turn out. Of course she did.
“Take me to see my dad,” Daphne said flatly. The princess wasted no time in lighting up her horn to place Night Watcher in front of the waiting Candle Light. She hoped this would go well.
Candle Light didn’t know why her daughter looked so upset. Night Watcher had a hard scowl on her face, and greeted her like she’d rather be doing anything else. It almost made her gasp to see, but the unicorn withheld from doing that. Instead, she tilted her head and stepped up to the bat pony.
“Are you okay, honey?” she asked carefully. “If it’s not a good time, I understand. I just miss seeing you. Are you doing alright?”
Her daughter let out a breath, then shifted her eyes around like she was debating how to answer. If Candle Light knew her well, she would put on an emotionless expression and say she was doing just fine.
“Just been trying to get used to… all of this,” Night Watcher told her. She used a hoof to indicate to Summer’s Edge in general. Or maybe just ‘the world’, both Equestria and the Outer Realm. “Sorry I haven’t visited you, uh, Dad. Just… you know.” She didn’t say what Candle Light was supposed to know.
“Well, I’m glad you’re finally here, honey,” the unicorn told her, trying to push past the awkwardness as she hugged her daughter. She didn’t return it, but did say, “I didn’t think you’d show up so quickly. I thought it’d be another few weeks before I saw you. I’m glad your little sister got to you quick.”
“Mom, actually,” she explained. “And it’s been a few hours.” She looked like she was settling her face away from the scowl she had on, although she rubbed a hoof into the ground. “I heard you guys talking about that whole ‘uploading’ thing earlier today. About it starting in America sometime soon, and how you told them we should follow after you.” She paused and let out a breath she’d been holding in. “I don’t like that idea. For obvious reasons.”
“Because you think I’m not me?” Candle Light asked. It wasn’t accusatory, but Night Watcher flinched anyway. The mare frowned, and she asked, “How am I not myself? I don’t feel like a copy. And your mother and your siblings don’t think that about me.”
Night Watcher frowned, an uncomfortable look forming on her face. Was it weird that her daughter was now the tallest? Candle Light used to be the tallest in her family. She didn’t mind it though. The bat pony looked at her hooves and then glanced back down at the unicorn.
“I don’t have any proof,” she admitted, sounding a little defeated by the idea. “It’s just a feeling, even though it’s probably dumb.” There was a moment of silence, like she wanted to say something more personal. She held back though, continuing, “I know I’ve just been watching from everyone else’s screen, but you act different. But only a little bit different. It’s like you’re ninety five percent the same.”
“Well, I think that’s just because I’ve been here so long, Daffie… err, Nighty,” Candle Light explained. “It’s been almost two years for me. I don’t feel like I’ve changed, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I changed a little bit. But that’s why I want you guys in here with me.”
“You changed when you got here though, Dad,” Night Watcher told her. “You’ve been a girl since day one, as far as I know. That’s not just because of how long you’ve been here.”
Now Candle Light shifted on her hooves uncomfortably, her face becoming bright red. “I– don’t tell your mother this, please,” she said. “This is just between you and me for now. But I… I think Celestia turned me into a mare at the start because I might actually be transgender. A friend of mine explained it to me recently, and it makes sense. I like being this way a lot more than being a stallion, even though I’d be a stallion if there was a good one that didn’t feel terrible.”
“My dad– you weren’t transgender before,” the bat pony quickly corrected, flaring her wings. She had an accusing tone in her voice as she said, “You’ve always been a guy, and didn’t seem uncomfortable.”
“I know that. But with over a year and a half of being like this, I think it’s a good assumption to make,” she said. “It feels better like this.”
Night Watcher only stared at her skeptically, an unsure look painted on her face. Candle Light quickly continued, “Besides, it’s kind of fun learning new things about myself! And about Equestria, too. I’m actually gonna go to a university soon with one of my new friends, Rising Ranks, and study magic and science.”
“You weren’t into science either,” Night Watcher highlighted. “Like I said, it’s basically still you, but it’s kind of different, and it’s weird, and it doesn’t help all of this settle.” Her eyes began to tear up, and she looked away. “It’s like I lost my dad and got an almost exact, but not quite perfect, copy of him. It’s a little uncanny. And it doesn’t help when you bring up having them go to Japan or wherever for us to kill ourselves.”
“Daffie…”
Night Watcher turned away and sniffed. Candle Light frowned sadly and felt a well of emotion kick up inside of her. It made the desire for her family to follow her to Equestria that much stronger. She didn’t say that though, instead putting a hoof on the bat pony’s shoulder and meeting her gaze when her head turned.
“It seems just like you,” she said tearfully, glancing between Candle Light and her hooves. “There’s no doubt about that. And maybe i’m just being an idiot–”
“You’re not an idiot, Daffie,” Candle Light interrupted.
“–but I can’t get myself to believe that it’s you. And I don’t really have a good reason for why either.”
“Honey,” Candle Light started. She paused until Night Watcher fully turned her way, bringing her dark eyes to the unicorn’s emerald ones. “I promise you, it’s me,” she told her slowly, like she was speaking to a foal younger than Warm Spell. “I feel like me, and I think I act like me, so that must mean it’s me, right?”
“Unless–” Candle Light stopped her daughter before she could finish her thought.
“And if I’m just a copy of me like you think,” she said softly, carefully, “I still feel like me, and love you and your siblings and your mother with all my heart. So would there really be a difference? But I don’t think you even think that. I certainly don’t think I’m a copy, and don’t feel like one.”
Night Watcher sniffed again, and then she did cry. Candle Light only took a second to wrap her hooves around her in a tight hug as her daughter leaned into her. She felt wings wrap loosely around her, and rubbed the bat pony’s back comfortingly.
“I promise you it’s me, sweet heart,” she whispered. “And you know I’d never lie to you.”
A few seconds later, her daughter pulled back, and wiped her eyes dry. “I– thanks for… telling me that, Dad,” she said, although she kept her eyes pointed to the ground. Night Watcher swallowed, and continued, “But don’t tell them they should go to Japan and try to go to Equestria? I… don’t like hearing stuff like that. Not right now.”
“It would be nice if all you guys were here with me,” she said, “but okay. I’ll keep it to myself for a while.”
“A long while? Please, Dad?” her daughter almost begged. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around all of this, and hearing stuff like that just stresses me out.”
“A long while,” she assured her. “I promise.”
“Thanks.” Night Watcher’s voice cracked. “That… makes me feel a lot better about it actually being you. I… thought you were gonna argue with me about it.”
“You know me too well to do something like that, sweetie,” the mare laughed softly. “I’d love to spend more time with you though. It’s been so long for me. Almost two years, like I said.”
“Yeah, that would be good,” she agreed. “I can’t tonight, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” the bat pony asked. “I’d talk to you more, but after sleeping all afternoon, I kind of need to focus on homework and stuff. Sorry I’ve… been kind of ignoring you. It’s just been hard without you here.”
“Tomorrow,” Candle light nodded, now fully grinning. “And it’s okay. I can’t wait. I love you, Nighty.”
The androgynous looking pony hesitated for a long moment, almost a lifetime, then finally replied with an almost imperceptible smile, “I love you, Dad.” She flew off a moment later, taking to the skies without a word. The unicorn watched her fly with a happy, satisfied smile. That went so much better than she thought it would.
She blinked, and suddenly, she was in tears, ones of relief dripping down her cheeks, the same ones she let out at the end of that perfect day with her wife. Things were going so well, much better than she expected. All of her family was finally going to spend time with her, even if it was only every few weeks. She was having fun being a mare, she had nice friends, and she was having a good time learning about magic. How could a place like this be so perfect? With as amazing as it was in Equestria, her family was going to have to come live here with her for good before too long. She wondered how long it would be before they arrived.
She didn’t think about what the answer might be. Candle Light wiped her eyes dry, and then smiled widely. She wasn’t the one who made the decision to emigrate here, but it was certainly the best decision anyone had ever made about her.
She told her friends about it that evening, in particular, Rising Ranks and Careful Calling. The stallion in particular seemed to come over to her home every evening to study magic with her and just chat in general.
“She took a long time, but I’m glad she’s starting to come around,” the mare said excitedly. “It’s not gonna be very long until you guys finally get to meet her, I bet. She’s gonna visit me a few weeks from now.”
“Is she moving to Equestria?” Careful Calling asked. “Wait, the rest of your family is still in the Outer Realm. When do you think they’d emigrate here? I’ve been wanting to tell Soft Step that she and her friends should, too, but I don’t really know how to.”
“I bet you could make it so your family shows up tomorrow,” Rising Ranks told Candle Light. “Like, if you asked Celestia, I bet she’d adjust your sense of time so it seems like they showed up very soon. You, too, Careful.”
“That would be nice,” Careful Calling said wistfully.
“Yeah…” Candle Light agreed. “But I think I’m okay with seeing them every few weeks for now,” she continued. “As long as they get here eventually. Depending on how long it takes, I bet I could show off all sorts of things to them! I bet there’s no limit to what I can do here!” She smiled, then finished, “Besides, I told Nighty I wouldn’t bring it up to her to make her more comfortable, and that might mess things up.”
“That makes sense,” the stallion nodded. “I don’t really know how it would work anyway. I just know that Celesita could probably do it. I wonder though how it would affect things with us ponies in Equestria right now though? I’ll have to ask somepony about that.”
The topic changed with that, and before long, as it seemed to be many times late at night these days, Rising Ranks was chatting up Candle Light after Careful Calling had left. They talked about science and magic mostly, and about Candle Light visiting that university in Canterlot, soon. However, just as happened every night, the time they spent had to end.
“You know, we always talk at your house,” he said with a little grin. “You should come over and see mine sometime. Maybe sometime soon? Tonight even? Just as friends, of course.”
“Tonight? At this hour?” she asked. “That seems pretty late, doesn’t it?”
“A little bit,” he nodded, “but I don’t think it’d be an issue.”
It wouldn’t, Candle Light knew, just the same way it wasn’t an issue when she made plans for specific dates to see her children, even though when they visited wasn’t exactly regular. They always appeared exactly when she wanted them to. She had a feeling that, in the same way, Celestia could probably make the day and night last as long as Candle Light or anypony else wanted.
“Plus,” Rising Ranks continued, “I have a whole lot of spell books that I haven’t read through, and I was thinking we could read through them together. You’re way better at picking everything up than I am, and you know it.”
Wait, was he flirting with her? Candle Light didn’t know, but her face went a little red at the thought. He might have said ‘just as friends’, but it didn’t entirely feel like he meant that. She didn’t brush off the comment like she probably should have though.
“What kinds of spells?” she asked. “Cause I’ve been learning a lot of stuff from the books I have here already.”
“It’s more complicated stuff,” he said. “Like transformation spells and magical beams and memory magic and gravity alteration and all sorts of things. I have books about science there, too, and how the Outer Realm works with Equestria.”
He was roping Candle Light in, and she knew it. “Where’s your house?” she asked. “Not too far away, right? It’s more difficult to teleport to places I haven’t been, especially if they’re not close by.”
“It’s in Canterlot,” he explained, “but I teleport here every day. It took me a long time to build up the strength to do it.”
“Wait, you teleport all the way here from Canterlot?” the mare asked, surprised. The stallion nodded, and Candle Light jumped up in excitement. “Show me! Show me! Show me!”
Rising Ranks laughed and lit up his horn, teleporting the two of them away.
Candle Light loved her life in Equestria. She honestly felt like she was twenty years old again.
She honestly couldn’t think of one thing she disliked about the world she now inhabited. She was a mare who had a gigantic house, younger body, no job, wonderful friends, a world of things to explore– it was perfect. Even only seeing her family once every month or two wasn’t terrible. It gave her time to maximize her new interests and take in all the experiences while still being in her childrens’ day-to-day life. Even Daphne had finally started visiting her. It was better than she ever expected.
Her two years in Equestria drifted into three, and then four and five, and eventually she began to lose track. Was she at ten now? Slightly more? She didn’t know, but that was okay. There were so many things to do to occupy her time. And besides, she could keep track of time in the Outer Realm just by how many times her family saw her. Eleven months in their time it had been since she moved to Equestria. She got to watch her kids slowly grow up while she became young again.
It wasn’t terribly long after she visited Rising Ranks’ home in Canterlot when she enrolled into a course on thaumatology at the university in the city. The night she spent with the stallion learning spells ended exactly as she expected it to– with a yawn when she finally closed the book they were reading and an assurance that she would see him again tomorrow. The two were just friends, and that’s how they remained.
For a while, anyway. Candle Light might have slipped up on the being ‘just friends’ part once or twice over the years. What could she say though? There was a lot of magic to learn, and Rising Ranks was there to help her learn it all. How could she truly learn all about spell casting if she didn’t study the way Rising Ranks made her horn spark like that?
Maybe it was more than once or twice.
But more than that, Rising Ranks was just a nice stallion to spend time with. He was funny, and kind, and upbeat, and confident, and knowledgeable. And maybe kind of handsome with his green and black mane and those glasses that matched hers. A little bit rugged, too, but not overly so. He was the kind of stallion Candle Light would’ve wanted if she was a teenage girl. Or if she was a mare in Equestria. What was that he said about Celestia finding the perfect ponies from the Outer Realm for Equestrians to be with? She wondered if he was built specifically for her. It was a strange thought.
Was it weird that she didn’t feel terribly guilty about all of it? She felt like she should’ve been, but no guilt or shame showed itself. In fact, it was kind of easy to compartmentalize her life with her family in the Outer Realm away from her life in Equestria. She still loved her wife very much, and definitely liked her more than she liked spending time with Rising Ranks. But she had to admit, it was a little more difficult to maintain the intimate connection with Crystal Clear from so far away. The earth pony admitted as such, too, one day while they were at Candle Light’s favorite beach spot.
“It feels like every day you’re just a little younger, Candle,” her wife told her. “You’re acting like you’re a teenager again,” she said. “All excited about everything and hanging out with younger mares and stuff. And you said you’re attending a university?”
“Yup!” she grinned. “Studying magic. And then later I’m gonna work more on science and physics. I learned this week from one of the professors that Celestia is trying to streamline the emigration process so it’s much quicker and less surgeons are needed. Maybe even none! It’d be cool to figure out what that’s about.”
“Well, I don’t know anything about that kind of stuff,” her wife said bashfully, “but maybe when I finally get there, I’ll know as much about it as you.”
“And you’ll be twenty years younger, just like Rising Ranks and I, too,” she confirmed. Candle Light thought she even sounded younger somehow. It might have been a slow change, but she noticed a little more confidence in her own voice, and a little bit of fun there, too. She spoke a bit faster, and maybe a little louder? She certainly didn’t mind it.
“And then I turn into a stallion to match you?” the mare asked lightly. “I’m gonna have to compete with that friend you keep talking about, aren’t I?”
“Haha, maybe,” Candle Light said quickly, glancing away for a moment. She debated in her head whether or not to continue, then said, “Actually, uh, I’ve been… getting kind of close with Rising Ranks recently.” Close enough for him to be on top of me, she thought. Crystal Clear only blinked at her.
The unicorn’s face was a cross between a smile and a grimace, and she rubbed one of her hooves behind another. She was unsure how her wife would take it, and figured it would be one of two ways. One reaction would be worse than the other.
It was the better of the two. After a long moment of silence, the earth pony smiled again. “That’s just like all men, I think,” she said, “to wonder about having sex with a guy as a girl.” It wasn’t quite what Candle Light meant, but she didn’t correct her.
“I mean, as long as you’re not messing around with other mares,” she said, “I… wouldn’t care if you experimented like that? You told me about that before we got married, right? This could be your chance until I get there and finally turn you back into a stallion.”
Yeah. That. That was the part of her reaction that wasn’t great
It was what Candle Light expected. Either ignorance or anger. She was glad it was the former, although her wife’s ignorance was just another sign of how she’d changed. Several years ago (or was it months ago?), she probably would’ve viewed what she said like that, too.
Was Candle Light really changing this much? It was kind of scary to think about.
“Don’t tell the kids about that though, please?” she asked, looking away sheepishly.
“Of course not, honey.”
“Also,” the unicorn continued, glancing away for a second before looking her in the eyes. “It’d be nice to be intimate with you again, too. It’s been… a long time.”
Crystal Clear teared up, but still smiled. “Yeah, it has, hasn’t it, honey?”
“I miss you a lot,” Candle Light said. “You and the kids. Every day. And I can’t wait for you guys to get here so I can be with you every day again.” It was the one hundred percent truth, even if she was anxious about what her wife would think when she didn’t change back.
She had a feeling it would work out though. Everything else in Equestria was working out up to this point. Heck, it was going so well that her wife even said she didn't care if she messed around with other stallions. It was all so perfect.
It was strange to think that this was what her life was like now. It wasn’t something she would’ve expected for herself ten years ago, but she certainly wasn’t going to complain. She had much better things to do than that, and lots of time and friends to do all those things.
Daphne slowly became more and more worried about her life on Earth. It felt like twenty years had passed since her father died. Or maybe more accurately, since her father uploaded.
Instead, it was only one year. Or maybe a little less than that. Eleven months? She wasn’t entirely sure. It was hard to keep track because of how quickly the world changed. It felt like only a blink.
In a blink, America quickly started to reduce its population. Daphne thought that it’d be in the tens of thousands that people would choose to ‘emigrate’ to Equestria. Instead, it was by the millions. How much of the country had quickly accepted the opportunity to jump into Equestria so far? Ten percent? Twenty? It was an insane amount. Way above the level she thought this would get to, at least this quickly.
It convinced her a little more about Equestria– well, she thought so anyway. No way this many people would choose death without being sure it was real. But then again, there was still something strange about how fast this was all happening. She expected that once this was available for cheap in America to do, people would jump at the opportunity at first, and then the fervor would slowly peter out. Instead though, it seemed like it was holding steady, and picking up pace even. Where would this go in another year? To half the country being digital?
Of course, the price for uploading quickly lowered as well. A thousand dollars in America turned into five hundred, then two fifty, then one hundred. Slowly, it was coming to a point where she imagined it was going to be made free. How would the company who made Equestria Online make any money in that case? It did make the whole operation seem more convincing though, even if it was just that much more nerve wracking.
She tried not to think about all of it, but it was impossible to do with how much the world seemed to revolve around the game more and more day by day. Other forms of technology seemed to become obsolete, and all that played on the news these days was how many people had uploaded and what the stock prices of whatever companies would be because of it. They even talked recently about having a tough time enforcing restrictions about parental consent for minors in some places to prevent emigration. It was all scary stuff.
Daphne did her best to ignore the noise though. She was already having a difficult enough time accepting Can– her father as he (she?) was. She focused on talking to the unicorn most days, something she appreciated as much as the mare did. It really did feel like her father, and relaxed her some. It at least helped her grieve, and get over some of the depression she was facing. And if it really was her father, then this would be a real gift to her. To all of humanity.
She did notice over the weeks and months of interacting with the mare that she started to change. Not physically though; the unicorn was already as changed as she probably was ever going to be. But her personality shifted, day by day. If it was over the years that Candle Light said she was spending in Equestria, Daphne might not have noticed it. But over the course of just a year, she could see her father every day act less and less like her father.
Instead, the mare was more excitable and talkative. She seemed more like she was becoming more her friend than her parent. Daphne tried not to be taken aback by the changes, reminding herself that, apparently, it had been ten years from Candle Light’s perspective. Was this why she asked before about them going to Equestria to live with her? Would this be what her mother changed into as well if they did?
“So then what do you do all day, Dad?” Daphne asked. “Is it still just university stuff and learning magic? No job? Are you ever gonna get one?”
“Nah, not for a while,” she waved a hoof with a grin. “I haven’t had one since I got here. I was thinking maybe waiting for you and your mother and everyone else to get here before I looked. I’ve just been spending time with other ponies and doing things on my own instead for now. I have as much time as I want either way. Why waste it?”
Daphne’s pony nodded along with her, but she didn’t say anything yet. Her father was so much more energetic and excited than he was as a human. It was jarring.
“But I can get one if you think I should,” the pony added, seeing her downcast expression. “Maybe, like, opening a coffee shop? I bet Celestia would give me the bits to own one if I asked. Or maybe I’d be a novelist! I have a whole bunch of good ideas, and a lot of time to write!”
“No, you don’t need to do that,” she told her. “I don’t really care what you do, Dad. It’s just weird seeing you acting so different now.”
“That’s what I was thinking!” she exclaimed. “I was talking with your mother about that a few months ago, actually! I can see it in myself! It was part of the reason why I was hoping you guys would show up soon!”
“I mean, it’s not bad,” Daphne said uncomfortably, glancing away. “I don’t know what Mom and them think, but it’s not terrible. It’s just weird.” Her bat pony rubbed a hoof against the ground, and she continued, “And I thought you said you wouldn’t talk about that.”
“It’s important, Nighty!” Candle Light told her. “I’m fine with waiting for you guys, but I don’t wanna wait forever. I wanna spend time with you in real life soon. Your mother said before that she would think about it. Can’t you?”
Daphne let out a long sigh. “I’ll try, I guess… I just hate the idea of it. Seriously, Dad.” She let out another breath, and then smiled, chuckling, “It’s kind of funny that you’re calling Equestria real life, though.”
“It’s real life to me,” the unicorn shrugged. “I live here. Like, it’s kind of hard to believe that I used to live out there. But I know I did because you’re all still out there even though this is, like, the perfect version of real life.” She paused, and added, “And I worry about you. I want you and everypony else to be safe.”
She sighed for a third time. “I know, Dad,” she told the mare, “but I don’t wanna talk about this right now…”
“I’m sorry,” Candle Light said sadly. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable… How's school and everything going? For your siblings, too? But also, are you gonna start college soon?” The mare smiled, and said, “It would be fun if you and I went to college together here in Canterlot. I’m learning a lot more than I thought I ever would in my life. Mostly about biology these last few months, but hopefully I can take more physics courses soon.”
“Yeah, that sounds like that’d be interesting,” Daphne said, mostly dodging the question. “And they’re good, as far as I know. Livvy’s spending the night at a friend’s house, I think, and Liana likes one of the guys in her class, she told me. Stevie had to go to summer school this summer, remember? But it’s basically fine for everyone.”
“That’s good,” Candle Light smiled. “And what about things in general? Is everyone okay? You, too, I mean.”
“Other than how weird things are getting with Equestria Online?” she said. “It’s all fine.”
That was a lie. It wasn’t fine. What would happen when it got to a point where society couldn’t keep up with how many people were heading to the Experience Centers? Daphne had no idea, but it’d be bad. It wouldn’t be just the stocks of rich people affected if too many people left.
“It’s more interesting hearing about you though, Dad… should I even still be calling you ‘Dad’ at this point?”
“It’s fine, honey,” Candle Light assured her. “You can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind.” Then she said, “But tell me about how things are getting weird in the Outer Realm. I was just talking about the Outer Realm with my friend Soft Step the other day, and wanna–”
“Hold on, Dad,” she interrupted. “Someone’s at the door… actually, I’ll talk to you again tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay! Sounds great! I’ll try to plan something for when you come back! I love you!”
“Love you,” she said before quickly clicking off the device. It still gave her goosebumps to talk to the mare, but Daphne was much more used to it now. She did have to wonder though, at least for a second, what it would be like if she uploaded like a lot of people these days were doing, too. Knowing that many other people were emigrating gave her more confidence in the process.
All of that confidence was stolen away a few seconds later when she opened the door to see a police officer.
“Is this the home and family of Olivia Slater?” he asked professionally. Daphne only blinked back silently, no words able to be spoken.
Candle Light smiled to herself as she lit up her horn to teleport back to her home. She felt like she was making good, slow progress with her eldest daughter. It might not be terribly soon, but she had a feeling that, before too long, Night Watcher would come around. She also had a feeling that once she did, her wife and the rest of her kids would follow quickly behind her. Then they’d all be here, and…
And it’ll all work out, she thought to herself. Her wife would understand if she didn’t change back into a stallion, and wanted to continue being close to Rising Ranks. Or maybe she’d just be with her wife once she showed up, since she would see her every day again. Or maybe both of them?
She didn’t exactly know how something like that would work, but Candle Light didn’t fuss about it. Her wife was humoring her right now, which was a good sign. Besides, everything else was perfect so far. Why wouldn’t things continue being perfect then? She danced in excitement when she reappeared in her living room, enjoying the idea of it.
She reappeared at the right time, because a second later, her youngest daughter was calling out in excitement from the couch and running up to hug her tightly.
“Hi, Daddy!” Warm Spell cheered. “I finally get to see you again!”
“Yes, you do,” the unicorn giggled, hugging her daughter back happily. “I thought your sister said you were having a sleepover with one of your school friends,” she said. “Did you bring your PonyPad with you? Are you making sure to spend time with your friends?”
“I was with them, but then I left!” she explained, a wide grin on her face. Candle Light blinked at her, and tilted her head in confusion.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“I told Princess Celestia I wanted to live with you,” Warm Spell told her, “and she said I could! And so me and my friend and her sister all went to where Princess Celestia told us, and now we’re here! And I get to hug you again, Daddy!”
Oh no.
“Sweetie,” she started carefully, “did you tell—”
She was cut off by screaming, the angry voice coming without warning. If Candle Light had longer than five seconds to process what was going on, she would’ve expected the androgynous looking bat pony to show up again and scream at her. Instead, she jumped in surprise at the sudden, loud voice. Then, Candle Light gasped at the hateful look her daughter sent her way. It was unlike anything the mare had ever seen.
She had no opportunity to even ask what was going on before Night Watcher started to lay into her.
“This is your fault!” the bat pony spat angrily at her. She bared her teeth as she yelled, showing off fangs Candle Light hadn’t noticed before. It was only half as intimidating as the look she continued to throw at her. Night Watcher’s eyes hit the unicorn like daggers. Candle Light hadn’t ever been afraid of her children, but she had to admit, she was nervous now. She took a step back.
The bat pony stalked closer and crouched low, like a cat waiting to pounce. “You were the one who was talking all about how everyone should upload, and now she's dead because of you! This is all your fucking fault!”
“Honey, I don’t—”
“I’m not your honey!” she screamed, somehow even more angry. “You’re not my father! You’re just a sick joke of a copy pretending to be him! I wouldn’t care if I never heard from you again after what you did!”
Candle Light had no response except to stare back at the pony in wide eyed shock. Her expression was hateful, and powerful enough to make the mare take another step back from her. She could practically feel the emotion in the air radiating off of her. Was that Candle Light’s hooves shaking? They must have been, because the unicorn was downright frightened by what she saw of Night Watcher. Daphne had never been one to yell, and now she’d completely gone off.
The bat pony glared only for a second. Candle Light watched her walk over to the nearest wall to press the picture of Celestia’s cutie mark. A second later, she was swept away in a flash of light, leaving the house empty and quiet again. She barely registered that Warm Spell was still beside her.
What was that?
“Spelly,” Candle Light finally asked, her voice barely a whisper. “What did you do?” She didn’t even turn her head to glance at the filly. She only blinked ahead at the now empty space, her whole body shaking as the last thirty seconds played in her head. What was all of that? Everything had been absolutely perfect up, until less than a minute ago.
Candle Light barely registered that her daughter was hugging her tight and burying her face into her coat. She carefully pulled Warm Spell closer as the filly sniffled.
“Please don’t cry, Daddy. I just wanted to live with you again. I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
Was she crying? Candle Light didn’t even notice, but rubbed her eyes to find wetness on her cheeks and face. She closed her eyes for a moment, and took a long breath. Then she did her best to put on a brave face and smile. She was barely able to muster one up.
“I’m not mad at you, sweetheart,” she said carefully, her voice cracking as Warm Spell looked up at her hopefully. Her heart was racing, and her breaths came out fast. The mare ignored those things though as she touched the filly’s nose gently, and continued, “I’m glad I finally get to hug you again.”
“I’m glad about that, too!”
“Mhm,” she nodded. Then, she exhaled, and her smile dropped. “But you should have told somepony. You can’t just–”
Candle Light was cut off once again by her family appearing in front of her. It was the rest of them this time, both of her children and her wife staring in wide eyed shock at Warm Spell. She couldn’t blame them, but did flinch at their sudden appearance. She wouldn’t be able to take it if they yelled at her, too. How was it that everything seemed to be spiraling in just a couple of minutes?
Her family didn’t yell. They didn’t even seem to be angry. Only surprised, and sad. Crystal Clear was crying, and Candle Light’s own tears started again because of it. She knew they would hate her now because of this.
“Olivia, what were you thinking?” the earth pony mare asked shakily, the exasperation in her voice mixing with the crying she was doing. “Why would you go and do something like this without talking to us first? I told you before we would think about it soon!”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” the filly squeaked out fearfully. “I didn’t mean to make everyone mad… I just wanted to see Dad again.”
“I understand that, but you shouldn’t have… done something like this!” Candle Light watched Crystal Clear close her eyes and weep, her body shivering. The unicorn pulled the filly in close again and held her.
She wanted to explain that it’d all be better if they all lived in Equestria with her. Then everyone would see her all the time and there’d be no issues anymore. They were the ones who originally signed her up to go to Equestria in the first place, after all. Somehow though, she knew bringing that up right now would only make things worse.
Her two other kids stayed silent, both Silver Light and Sweeping Skies shuffling around awkwardly on their hooves. They had pained expressions on their faces, and useless looks that said there was nothing good they could say. There was nothing good Candle Light could say either.
“I just…” Crystal Clear rubbed her eyes and then looked up to Candle Light. “Take care of her, please?” she asked. “Did you know that this was gonna happen?”
“I didn’t.” The unicorn spoke in a whisper, her heart still beating fairly quickly from how Night Watcher screamed at her. She was going to hate her if she thought this was because of her. She did want Warm Spell to come here– she wanted all of them here– but…
“I haven’t brought it up in a long time because Nighty told me not to… and now… I think she hates me…” Her voice quivered, and a second later, she was crying all over again. She fell back onto the couch and put her head in her hooves. How had this all gone from perfect to messed up in just a few minutes?
Warm Spell sat beside her and hugged her, and a second later, Crystal Clear was there, too, on the other side of her. Her other two kids left shortly after that, but before she could wonder about whether they would now hate her, too, the earth pony carefully petted her back. A look in her eyes showed that she was still as tearful as Candle Light was.
“You promise this is all real?” she asked, barely audible. It was a question that got Candle’s attention.
“Yeah?” she sniffled, then shook her mane out of her eyes. “Of course.”
Crystal Clear nodded, but didn’t say anything. The room was silent for a long moment as the unicorn sat between her wife and her daughter. Finally, her wife said, “Take care of her, okay?”
“I will,” Candle Light nodded. “You take care of them, too… I hope they don’t blame me and hate me…”
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Warm Spell whispered softly. Candle Light carefully touched the filly’s nose again.
“You don’t need to be sorry, sweetie,” her voice cracked. “I just…”
“I’ll… talk to them…” Crystal Clear told her, sounding a bit unsure. “I don’t know what I can say though. I… this is all… but I’ll try,” she finished.
“Thank you, and please be safe,” Candle Light said gratefully, finally rubbing her eyes dry again. “It’d probably be good to talk later wouldn’t it?” she suggested. Crystal Clear gave a small nod.
Candle Light swallowed, blinked a few times, then looked up at her wife and said, “I love you.”
Crystal Clear didn’t say it back. Instead, she offered a sad smile, then turned away. A second later, the pony stood up to head out the door. Candle Light winced, her tears threatening to leak out again. Why was everything falling apart like this? How long ago was it that she was thinking about how perfect everything was? Hours?
No, it was less than ten minutes ago. In only a few minutes, the whole world had exploded and fell apart, right before her eyes. This was why she wanted them here as soon as possible. If they were already here, the perfection would continue. A few minutes ago, her biggest concern was what her wife would think about her staying a mare. Now her biggest concern was about what her wife thought about her in general.
And Night Watcher. Night Watcher was going to hate her.
She wished her family understood that any problems they thought they had would vanish the second they stepped foot into Equestria. Once they showed up, there would be no more issues. It was starting to feel like an if right about now.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Warm Spell suddenly spoke up from beside her, still hugging her. She had slight fear in her eyes, and concern. She could imagine what her youngest daughter was thinking, what with the whole scene that had played out before her.
“Please don’t be mad at me,” she said, practically begging. “I just wanted to see you again…”
Candle Light held the filly close and tight, then closed her eyes and settled her daughter into her side.
“I’m not mad, Spelly,” she assured her as she pet her mane carefully. “I could never be mad at you, sweetheart. I’m glad you’re here.”
That was the state Daphne could safely say the Slater household was in. A state of depression.
The second her mother clicked her PonyPad off, she dropped her head, lowered her shoulders, and slumped into her spot on the couch, eyes closed. Daphne might have done the same thing, if not for how angry and frustrated she felt. And for her tears, too, of course. She didn’t get around to talking to Celestia like she wanted to because of her emotions.
The second her pony appeared in front of the alicorn, she screamed and threw her PonyPad to the floor, shattering its screen.
“This is all your fault, too,” she muttered angrily, tearfully. “Everyone,” she said. “All three of you. I wish you all would’ve listened to me when I said he should fight instead of going to Japan. Olivia’s gone because of all of you, too.”
No one replied to her. No one said anything. Steven and Liana sat quietly at the table, glancing around the room, and their mother kept her eyes closed, looking lifeless from her spot on the couch. Tears were still running down her face. As much as she wanted to blame them all, she knew she shouldn’t.
This wasn’t really their fault. It was that copy’s fault. It was Celestia’s fault. Not theirs. Being angry at them was irrational.
She was angry at them anyway, and blamed them regardless. “I hope you all feel fucking terrible,” was the last thing she spat at what remained of her family before she marched upstairs to cry alone.
She could hear them, the three that were left, talking softly downstairs as she flopped into bed. She couldn’t really make out what they were saying– probably about what happened to Olivia and what they should do?– but didn’t particularly care. Her thoughts were instead focused on those who weren’t here.
Two of the six members of the family were gone– two out of five if counting from Daphne’s perspective. That was forty percent. In less than a year, her family had been reduced by almost half. The girl hugged her pillow tightly and screamed into it. How was this all happening?
She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but couldn’t. Even with it being two of them now, her father was still different. It made sense with him at least. He had cancer. He was about to die. If there was a one percent chance of that working, then it made sense. Olivia wasn’t. And yet she was gone now, too, for the exact same reason. How long would it be before this happened to someone else?
Daphne had a sinking feeling it would be very soon.
She wasn’t called down for dinner; when she went downstairs again, she saw that it was never cooked. Her mother was sitting on the sofa, in the spot she always sat with Olivia, except staring blankly ahead at a TV that was turned off. Her younger siblings were in their own bedrooms, doing whatever. The air almost physically felt heavy. It was bad.
Her mother glanced up at her, but didn’t say anything. Neither did Daphne. She might have felt bad about how bad the woman looked, but she meant what she said, irrational as it was. She did blame them for what happened to Olivia. And Steven and Liana, too, to a lesser degree. She hoped her mother felt bad.
Any thought of how real Equestria Online may or may not have been for living in was out of Daphne’s mind. She didn’t care about the answer. She only cared that it had now taken two of her family members.
Strangely enough, her mother didn’t start organizing a funeral or talking to cops or a lawyer about this like she thought she would. She didn’t do much of anything. She went upstairs to head to bed at night, and went back downstairs to sit on the couch during the day. She didn’t eat, didn’t speak, didn’t cry– nothing. It was like the woman was a zombie. This time, Daphne didn’t feel terrible that she felt like this.
Her other siblings weren’t much better. They still went to school, and cooked themselves dinner since their mother wasn’t, but stayed as quiet as their mother did. It was terribly painful to watch, much as she blamed them, but they didn’t cry either. Was Daphne the only one who actually cared?
Worse than that, they still looked at their PonyPads. They barely spoke to the NPCs now while using them, but they still went online. Her mother didn’t pick up her own, but besides stare at the wall, she glanced at the thing, like she was considering whether to boot it up. How the heck could they still be on those things after all that happened? Daphne was gonna have to step up and have a serious talk with them. She’d already thrown hers in the trash after what happened.
Okay, maybe she did feel a bit bad seeing her mother like this. She couldn’t help it. Even if she was angry, her mother needed to move along from them. Daphne might have been eighteen now, but she still needed her to take care of Steven and Liana. She needed to take care of Daphne, too, to a degree.
“How can we still have those things just in our house, Mom?” she started during a moment when both her siblings were upstairs. “Seriously. Can’t you see that that’s all a lie?”
She looked up at Daphne and blinked a few times. At first, she thought she was going to cry, or yell, or both. However, her mother said nothing. For a long moment, she just stared back at her daughter, as though she was completely confused by the question. It made Daphne take an uncomfortable step back as she waited for an answer.
Finally though, she said, “Because I know it’s your father, so it has to be Olivia in there, too.”
There was no doubt in her voice. No shakiness or uncertainty or fear or sadness. Not even conviction, interestingly enough. She said it like it was just an everyday fact. Daphne had no idea how she could. If she really thought that, why was she acting so depressed about what happened? Was that what she was talking about with her siblings a few nights ago?
Her mother stood up and grabbed her shoes from in front of the door to slip them on.
"Where are you going?" Daphne asked.
"I'll be back soon," her mother replied. "Keep an eye on them for me?" She didn't turn around as she spoke, grabbing for the door to pull it open.
Daphne put a hand around her mother's wrist to stop her. "If you're going to the experience center," she said with absolute authority, "you can't. Who's gonna be there for Stevie and Liana if you die, too? They need you to take care of them, Mom. I need you, too."
Her mother blinked at her again. This was so creepy to see. It was so unlike her mother. So unlike Daphne, too, to be in this position.
"Will you let go of me so I can get some groceries, please?" her mother asked.
"I'm going with you," Daphne demanded.
No sigh, no shake of her head, nothing. Her mother accepted the fact immediately, and started out the door for the car. Daphne quickly followed after her.
It actually was groceries they got from the store, thankfully. It was eerie how empty the place was now, unlike how it used to be. And getting more empty all the time. How could everyone buy into this? How could her mother so quickly accept that Olivia was really in Equestria? Maybe she was still having a hard time processing the truth, given the robotic nature Daphne saw from her. Saying Olivia wasn’t dead was probably a coping mechanism for her. It wasn't good, and would lead to bad places.
"We should do it," her mother finally said as she pushed a cart of paid for food to the car and opened the trunk. "If your father and your sister are already in there–"
"That's literally suicide, Mom," Daphne interrupted. "It's not real. It's just a genocide machine. How come no one seems to get that?" The girl let out a huff of a breath, and said, “That’s probably the kind of thing they tried to say to Olivia to get her to show up. She was only seven.” That AI went out of her way to trick her seven year old sister into killing herself. Daphne clenched her jaw.
"If your father and your sister are already in there," the woman started again, more slowly as she put bags in the car, "then there's no reason why we should be waiting to see them."
"Mom…"
"It's what's best for everyone," she continued. "I know you've been struggling the most, Daffie. Your father was worried about you hating him, and–"
"I don't hate him!" the girl yelled. "I hate the copy of him, and Celestia!"
"It's not a copy, Daffie," her mother said flatly. "It's him. I know it's him. And it's Olivia in there now, too. I’m not going to listen to you say they’re dead when they’re not." There was a smidge of emotion in her voice now.
"Well I'm not going," Daphne said, crossing her arms. "And if you go and talk Stevie and Liana into doing that, I won't forgive you. Ever."
Her mother displayed another hint of emotion at that, in the form of a pained expression she sent her way. She let out a breath, and seemed like she was about to say something, but refrained. Instead, she finished packing the groceries into the car and used a hand to beckon Daphne to get back in. Daphne scowled at her, and crossed her arms before walking off on her own way home. Her mother only shook her head sadly and drove off.
It only took a minute after she started walking down the street for Daphne to realize she left her mother on her own. She might as well have been signing the death warrant herself. How could she let her mother drive off without her? She started to tear up because of her own idiocy now.
Why is everything falling apart like this? she wondered silently as she sniffled. Why is this happening?
It was like a movie about the apocalypse, except in real life, and it made her feel both deathly afraid and absolutely terrible. She sat down on the sidewalk and put her head in her hands with those thoughts, not worried about anyone seeing her. Everyday, there were less and less people to see. Like her father, and her little sister, and potentially her mother and little siblings too. Because she was an idiot who let her drive off on her own out of anger.
Please just let them all be there when I get home, she begged no one. Let me wake up and have this nightmare end. Daphne almost threw in the hope that it was all real, but stopped herself out of worry that such a thought would get her started down the same path. She was almost convinced by Candle Light already. A small shove would be all it would take.
Thankfully, Steven and Liana were still at home when Daphne finally gathered herself and finished the walk back. It didn't matter much though, because just like she was expecting, her mother was gone, too.
That terrible sinking feeling permeated the air, and cut Daphne to pieces when she realized half of her family was gone now. She was the only one who cried as Steven and Liana stared at their PonyPads.
Candle Light had to adjust to having a kid full time again.
It was a tough thing to do at first. She could no longer spend all day doing whatever she wanted whenever she felt like it, like she’d gotten used to over the past several years. No more spending all day reading or hopping between Summer’s Edge and Canterlot for college or staying up late into the night with Rising Ranks or her other friends anymore. Not for a while, anyway. She needed to get Warm Spell settled first.
She was curious about how far she could stretch things with her daughter while doing all those things at the same time, but quickly shook that thought out of her head. It was definitely possible to have time manipulated for something like that to happen, but that wouldn’t be fair to Warm Spell. The filly deserved her full attention, and she was going to give it to her.
It was a bit tough at first, getting back into being a parent. Sure, she saw her kids once every month or two, but that wasn’t the same as being around them all day every day. She had to remember how to do this again for the first time in over a decade.
Not only had Candle Light changed, but so had the world she was parenting in. There were no safety concerns as far as she could tell, and maybe not any concerns to be had at that. It made the silly questions her daughter asked have to be seriously considered. Why couldn't she spend all day at the beach with Warm Spell and have ice cream and cake for dinner if the filly asked? In the Outer Realm, the answers were obvious, but none of those restrictions applied anymore. If it had only been a year in Equestria like it had been for her family, she might have approached the situation differently. Instead, they had ice cream and cake for dinner, and stayed at the beach the entire next day.
Seeing her daughter happy took her mind off of the anxiety-inducing thought of what her family was thinking now. She hoped they didn’t hate her, and that her wife would talk to her children about getting in here. Night Watcher would be a hard sell, but she bet Crystal Clear could get through to her.
If the four of them weren’t completely against emigrating to Equestria forever now because of this.
But there was nothing thinking about those things would do besides stress her out. One of them at least was finally here. Candle Light would focus on Warm Spell for now. She had years to figure out how to get her family in here.
She didn’t entertain her daughter’s every desire. She was going to make sure her daughter was enrolled in the elementary school in Summer’s Edge, and she wasn’t gonna let her run off wherever she wanted in the meantime. But it was fun to take her camping one weekend when she suggested it, and explore one of the castles in her shard another one. Did it really matter if she spoiled her appetite with cookies at her friend’s house from time to time, or if she stayed up too long past her bedtime on occasion? What would it affect if she wanted to skip school once or twice to have a tea party and do her makeup with Candle Light, or to go to an amusement park in Canterlot?
The answer was: nothing. Candle Light had been in Equestria and taken those classes in Canterlot for more than long enough to know Celestia wouldn’t do something to screw them over or make things feel terrible. It did make the unicorn wonder about Daphne screaming at her, and the rest of her family’s reaction to Warm Spell. Why did Celestia let her see that?
“I wouldn’t know,” Rising Ranks shrugged as the stallion sat with her in her bed one night after her daughter had gone to sleep. “I thought the professor said Celestia would keep things from you if it wasn’t satisfying, but that doesn’t sound particularly satisfying. Maybe it’s just because they’re from the Outer Realm like you?”
“Yeah, maybe,” Candle Light agreed. “That makes sense. I think. I don’t know… I just hope they’re alright.” It had probably only been a day or two for her family, but the way they looked when she last saw them, she didn’t think they were taking things very well.
“I don’t want the rest of them to not show up because of this,” she continued. “I’m kind of worried, actually.”
“I’m sure you can talk to Princess Celestia about it,” Rising Ranks offered. “I bet there’s nothing to worry about, since your filly’s here now.” The stallion leaned over to kiss her, and then settled on top of her. Candle Light smiled back at him.
“Your wife and kids will probably emigrate soon, and then you won’t have to worry ever again.”
“I mean, I’ll still worry about things,” she replied. “There’s a whole world of things out there I don’t know yet, so I can worry about that. And I have to talk to my wife when she gets here, too, about you-know-what. Not to mention, raising my kids in Equestria. It’s not the same as in the Outer Realm.” Then she leaned up to kiss him back, and finished, “But yeah, I doubt there’ll be much in the anxiety department for me to deal with at that point.”
I just hope they get here, Candle Light sighed internally, and that Daphne doesn’t hate me. Crystal Clear either.
It wasn’t a question she could ask for a few months, not that she had much time to. She might have had all the time in the world technically, but it was time she spent with her daughter. Her days were taken up with doing all the fun things Warm Spell desired, as well as all of the little things Candle Light had to get used to doing again. Seeing teachers and cooking dinner every night and helping her daughter learn about the world. That part was especially fun; she was able to show Warm Spell all the magic she learned and help her through it. Year after year in the Outer Realm, her kids had less and less to learn from her. Now there was a whole host of new information she could give to them. Even the older ones once they finally showed up.
She hoped they would show up eventually.
She didn't see them, even through a PonyPad, as one month turned it into two, and then into three and four. They didn't ever show up regularly, but the longest Candle Light had gone without seeing her family in the Outer Realm was about two months. It wasn't as bad now that Warm Spell was here living with her, but it was definitely noticeable. Noticeable enough that Warm Spell asked if Rising Ranks was her new best friend since Crystal Clear wasn't here. She’d said before in the Outer Realm that her wife was her best friend.
"I can have two best friends," the mare grinned. "You have two best friends at school, don't you?" she asked.
"Hmm. I guess," the filly nodded thoughtfully. "Since Mom's not here right now, can I call you mom, Daddy?"
It was a question that earned a now rare blush from Candle Light. How long had it been since she'd been embarrassed about being a girl? Not since her first few weeks in Equestria, she thought.
"Rising Ranks and I are only friends, sweetheart," she explained quickly, glancing away as she rubbed a hoof on the ground. "I don’t think he’s gonna be your daddy," She was surprised that the filly could see how close she was to him despite being only eight.
"I know that!" the filly asserted, seemingly peeved by the mare's underestimation of her knowledge. "But I wanna call you mom cause I already call you my mom to my friends at school, and Mom's not here right now! Please?"
A bashful smile was forming on Candle Light's face. It was strange to feel her heart leap in excitement over something so small. "You can call me whatever you want to, honey," she assured her with a ruffle of her mane. "I don't mind. Even if you want to call me mom."
"Really?" a voice that feigned hurtfulness called suddenly from behind the two. "Over me?" If Candle Light's heart leaped before, it jumped out of her chest now.
"Crystal!"
"Mom!"
Neither Candle Light nor her daughter wasted any time in running up to the mare and hugging her tight. Warm Spell buried her face into her coat while the bigger unicorn kissed her deeply and nuzzled her softly. She had a good feeling about why the earth pony was suddenly here. After all, she didn't plan for her appearance. The way her wife kissed back had a lot more passion with it than she could ever give through a PonyPad.
The happy looking tears she had in her eyes gave Candle Light no doubts about her assumption. "You're finally here for good, aren't you?" Without awaiting the answer, she looked around and asked, "Where are the kids? They're not in their own shards, are they? I want us all to live here together for a while. There's a lot I need to talk to them about. Especially Nighty."
The happy tears stopped as quickly as they started, and Crystal Clear’s smile dropped. She pulled away and glanced down at her hooves for a moment before looking back up at Candle Light.
“They… they’re not here,” she said quietly, her head dropping, those happy tears turning into sad ones. “I wanted to tell them to come with me,” she explained, “But Daphne… she said she would hate me if I did, and I got worried that maybe she was right, but couldn’t bear it without you and Livvy, and–”
“It’s fine,” Candle Light said gently, putting a hoof on her wife’s shoulder to try and calm her down. “It’s fine,” she assured her. “I understand. It’s fine.”
It wasn’t fine, but it wasn’t necessarily terrible. She wished though her wife hadn’t emigrated until the rest of her kids did. Someone had to be out there to take care of them. But it wasn’t awful like it might have been because her kids were almost all adults now. The youngest of the three that remained was fourteen. It wasn’t a helpless Warm Spell living without her mother. Still, it wasn’t the best situation. She tried not to grimace thinking about it.
Candle Light didn’t say those things though. Instead, she pulled the mare in for another deep kiss, and said, “I’m a little worried about Night Watcher, but if you’re here, I would bet it won’t be very long until the rest of them get here, too. Maybe even just a few weeks. Then there won’t be anything left to worry about.” Isn’t that what Rising Ranks told her?
The earth pony nodded, sniffled, and then wiped her eyes dry. “I hope so… I’m sorry.” Her eyes were quickly becoming wet again. “I know you told me to take care of them, but–”
“No buts,” Candle Light interrupted, an assertive tone in her voice. “You don’t need to be sorry. I promise. Even if they don’t get here soon, Nighty will take care of them, and they can still use their PonyPads to talk to us whenever they want. It’ll be fine.”
Even as she said it, Candle Light was already thinking about how she could get them to emigrate more quickly. It was something she thought about before in passing, but now she planned to fix her efforts on that. She was really worried about Night Watcher especially. But Rising Ranks could probably help her. So could more classes in Canterlot.
Maybe that was why she met the stallion. She learned at the university that Celestia knew better about human behaviors than any human did, and could accurately predict how humans would respond to different events. She wondered if she used the stallion as a way to further build up Candle Light’s interest and knowledge in magic and science. Or maybe it was just a good coincidence that she’d met him.
She certainly didn’t think about it right now. Instead, she let Crystal Clear hug her tightly, and then hug Warm Spell even more tightly. Just like with Warm Spell, it might not have been perfect, but she was happy her wife was here. She missed her badly, worse than she thought.
Of course, Candle Light and Warm Spell told her all about what they’d been up to, and Crystal Clear told them about the last few days after Warm Spell emigrated. The larger unicorn flinched hearing about how upset her eldest daughter was, and knew that this would just hurt her more. In fact, she had a sneaking suspicion that more and more she was moving towards never emigrating. It only intensified Candle Light’s desire to learn everything she could, that way she could guarantee her daughter’s eventual arrival into Equestria.
They talked, the three of them walked through the park and showed Crystal Clear the town, and then Candle Light cooked cabbage and rice with black eyed peas and cornbread for dinner. It was a long, wonderful afternoon, this one being the very best one the unicorn had up to that point, even despite all the thoughts in the back of her mind. She briefly wondered if it was bad to push those thoughts away to consider later, but quickly decided that it wasn’t. She would have all the time she needed to think about them later with Princess Celestia’s guidance. Instead, she stayed side by side with her wife, with her filly on the other side of her through dinner.
Crystal Clear didn’t take that long to get settled into being a pony. Candle Light could feel the tension and intimacy quickly building up throughout the afternoon and evening. There were a hundred things she needed to talk about with the mare, and a thousand things she wanted to show her, but, of course, she didn’t get to any of it. Instead, she found herself on top of her wife after Warm Spell went to bed, making a move on her before too many words could be spoken. Candle Light didn’t know which was better: watching her wife’s eyes roll back in satisfaction as she sank into the bed, or the fact that her horn sparked a little bit differently than it did when Rising Ranks was on top of her.
It was definitely the best night Candle Light had as a pony thus far.
It was a good morning Candle Light opened her eyes to the next day, one where she found her hooves wrapped around her wife for the first time in ages. Was it strange that it no longer felt like all that long ago? The decade it had been seemed like only a few months now. It felt long enough that she missed the feeling, but not so long that she would start sobbing.
Only months since she slept with her wife, yet it still felt like years since she’d parented her daughter when Warm Spell emigrated. It was strange that different members of her family gave her different perspectives on time. But those perspectives hit her in just the right somehow. She knew what word she would use to describe it.
Pancakes were what she had for breakfast with the two of them before sending her daughter off to school. She did notice a few people missing from the scene though, something that was harder to ignore now than it was before. It was much more difficult to separate her life in Equestria from her life with her family in the Outer Realm when half of them weren’t in the Outer Realm anymore. She blinked and avoided sighing sadly.
Crystal Clear seemed to read her mind, and let out a long breath. “I’m sorry,” she immediately apologized, dropping her head and pointing her eyes at the table. “I shouldn’t have done this yet. I should’ve stayed on Earth with them…”
“It’s fine,” Candle Light assured her gently, placing a hoof on her shoulder. She wasn’t actually sure it was though. She could imagine what Daphne might be thinking, and it wasn’t good.
“I’m sure she’ll understand,” the unicorn continued anyway. “Especially when they all get here. Then there won’t be anything to worry about anymore!” Wasn’t that what Rising Ranks told her a few months ago? And now here they were, showing up.
“I bet it won’t be that long either,” she finished with a grin. “Before you know it, they’ll be here.” She might have actually believed it, too. She imagined that, within the next year, they’d almost certainly all be living here and be one big happy family once again.
Was it weird that the thought of that now made her kind of nervous? Candle Light had changed so much in the decade she’d spent without them.
Crystal Clear finally looked up at her again and put on a little smile. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” she nodded. “You’ll be all of our heroes once everyone’s here.”
Candle Light tilted her head at that, but continued smiling. “I’ll be your hero?” she asked. “I’m pretty sure you guys are my hero, since you all put me in here. I’d be dead without you.”
Her wife’s smile grew. “And I’m glad I did. I’m sure you’re right. It won’t be long. Speaking of which…” She stood up and looked herself over carefully. “Celestia told me the second I got here that I should probably actually think about what kind of pony I wanted to be, since I didn't before." Then she looked right in Candle Light's eyes and finished, "And we still need to choose what you're gonna be, too, honey. I can't believe you've stayed a girl for so long."
Candle Light’s grin dropped. Her wife saw it immediately, and dropped her own smile. Even without a reply spoken yet, she was sure Crystal Clear already knew what she would say. How could she not by this point? To be fair though, it took Candle Light having it explained to her by Soft Step to piece it all together herself.
Her wife blinked again as she stared back at the mare. “You’re gonna change back into a stallion, right?” she asked, a hopeful smile putting itself back on her face as she pushed her eyes into Candle Light’s emerald ones. “Right?”
Candle Light had a thousand words– no, a million– that formed in her head as an explanation. If she was ten years younger, she might have used that many to get across what she wanted to say. However, Equestria's perfection up until very recently had given her a lot more confidence than she might have had otherwise. It took only one word to say what she wanted to say.
"No."
“Oh…”
Her wife barely said it– barely whispered it even. She looked away, glancing down at her hooves as tears quickly started to form in her eyes. Now Candle Light blinked in confusion. She thought her wife would be upset, but not tearful. She expected frustration from her more than anything.
“I… kind of figured that…” she started as she glanced between the unicorn and the floor. “When you said you were getting close to that other stallion, I figured… but I also thought that we could–”
“I’m not leaving you!” Candle Light interrupted, unable to suppress a laugh. "Why would I have sex with you if I was? I'm just not gonna change who I've been for the last bunch of years. I like who I am and what I look like right now."
"Oh. Good. I don't know why I thought– good." Her let out a relieved sigh, sniffed, and blinked away her tears. "Sorry. I just thought that… sorry. Um." She looked around uncomfortably for a moment and asked, "Why would you wanna stay a girl though when you could be a guy?"
"Well," Candle Light started, "why would you wanna be a girl when you could be a guy?" The question got Crystal Clear to smile again.
"Good point," she admitted. She wiped her eyes and shook her head, as if clearing it of the previous though. "But seriously. I don't get it. You could be, like, a thin muscular guy instead. If anything’s possible here, right?"
"And I told you before," Candle Light said, a little sass in her voice as she smiled back at the earth pony. "I'm okay with being a pudgy, unmuscular girl. I like how my body is right now a lot. I know you and I didn't pick it out, but I learned before that Celestia is pretty good at finding out what a pony wants. And what I wanna be is me as I am right now. I think I’m trans, actually." More like she knew that’s what she was.
Crystal Clear stared at her, surprised by something. "Wow, you've… really changed a lot, haven't you?" she said. The unicorn shrugged, and her wife smiled once again. "It's like you're a teenager again. Or twenty years old. I'm gonna have to get used to all of this. You’re acting so differently."
"Well I love you, so that hasn't changed about me," she told her. Then she leaned in for a few kisses as she nuzzled her nose. Crystal Clear blushed bright red and grinned sheepishly, to Candle Light's interest.
"I, uh, guess I kind of imagined last night as a… one time thing, you know?" The unicorn tilted her head as her wife's face went more red. "I guess I can try to get used to you being a girl forever though," she finished. She looked like she wanted to say something else, but was too shy to continue. Candle Light had a good idea about what it was.
“You don’t have to be a lesbian, silly,” she told her, a chuckle in her voice. “It’s cool if you’re not.”
“Well, I’m certainly not gonna turn into a guy. I was just joking about that before.”
“What I mean is,” the unicorn continued, “I’ve been getting close with Rising Ranks. I told you about him before. You could get close with other stallions, too, if you wanted. Equestria is completely different from how the Outer Realm works.”
Her wife stared at her like she’d just grown a second head. “Wow, honey,” she said. “I know I said you could experiment and stuff with stallions before, but.. you’ve changed a lot. You act like you’re a teenager again. It’s strange.” The only emotion in her voice was deep, genuine surprise.
“You already said that,” Candle Light laughed, throwing a grin her way. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll change too. Then we can both be teenagers again.” She didn’t know how Crystal Clear hadn’t noticed her changing before though. Hadn’t Daphne said as much to her before?
The earth pony seemed like she wanted to talk more about it, but didn’t go much further into the conversation. After a statement about how Candle Light was the only mare for her, she pressed the picture of Celestia’s cutie mark on the wall to call forth the AI goddess. The alicorn princess showed up quickly, bringing back with her the mirror they used before. This time, Candle Light’s wife was the one who went through the options, the unicorn standing back and carefully watching the choices she made as she went through them.
She didn’t even think about being a stallion, of course, and didn’t take much time at all to decide actually. It was probably only five minutes or so before she was done. She changed her coat color to dark brown, like it was in the Outer Realm, but kept the white mane and blue eyes. Candle Light of course suggested to her being a unicorn, but instead, the mare chose a pegasus with long feathery wings. Most interesting of all was her decision to continue looking in her forties.
That brought on a strange thought. Wasn’t Candle Light technically in her fifties now? She didn’t feel it, and certainly didn’t look it. She didn’t notice herself aging, but she did see some of the ponies around her age sometimes. Not Careful Calling or Rising Ranks, but Misty Rose and her family seemed like they aged a little bit. Maybe Soft Step somewhat? Candle Light couldn’t see herself going down the road to becoming an old lady– not yet anyway. Maybe at some point. However long in the future ‘some point’ might be.
She was sure Celestia could make it happen if Candle Light wanted. What couldn’t Celestia do to bring satisfaction?
She took her wife to the beach and walked along the sand with her. Afterward, over a lunch of baked ziti at a place one of Soft Step’s very recently emigrated friends showed her, she introduced Crystal Clear to her closest friends. She seemed to take particular interest in Rising Ranks, probably for the obvious reason, but also looked like she clicked with the other three. It made her smile to see.
It was a simple day they spent together after Candle Light showed off her friends. They spent more time at the beach before Warm Spell came home, then visited their daughter’s shard for a few hours before they had dinner and read a fiction book together. Her wife didn’t seem to have that much trouble figuring out how to fly throughout the day; in fact, she seemed like she was a natural at it. Candle Light might have considered what that meant before, but only smiled now at her wife’s huge, satisfied grin. She knew what that meant.
It was like that for several weeks. Candle Light couldn’t exactly call it normal; this hadn’t been her life for a very long time. Her life for many years had been only talking to her family once every few weeks in between hanging out with her friends and going to college and learning everything there was to learn about Equestria. And recently it had been humoring her daughter and adventuring and exploring with her for the last few months. Normalcy felt strange.
But there was something kind of fun about getting back into it and spending all day with her wife. There was a lot more time to be intimate with her than there ever was in the Outer Realm, and a lot of things to show her. Crystal Clear didn’t seem to understand just how limitless Equestria was; Candle Light still didn’t either. But she figured it wouldn’t be long before she started to get it.
She knew before she changed a lot, but being next to Crystal Clear, day after day, made Candle Light realize just how much she had changed over the years. She was not the same pony she was when she first arrived in Equestria. Being around her wife fully illuminated how different she was to her now. As silly a thought as it was, it almost seemed like her wife had changed instead of herself.
It was none of the big things, of course. Candle Light was just the same person as always in all the large ways, and so was Crystal Clear. They still both listened to country music and liked the same foods and parented their children in similar ways. It was just that her wife acted twenty years older. Or more accurately, Candle Light acted twenty years younger.
Her wife said the unicorn acted like a teenager again, and comparatively, the earth-pony-turned-pegasus was more like Misty Rose than she was like her anymore. Crystal Clear might have humored Candle Light’s explanations about how their world worked and went with her meeting ponies and doing what she liked to do, but it didn’t seem like it was because she wanted to actually do those things. It was more like she just wanted to be around Candle Light.
Was it weird to feel weird about that? Was there a difference between doing something because you wanted to and doing it to make somepony else happy, or just to be close to them? Especially here in Equestria?
Candle Light didn’t know, but she did bring it up one afternoon while her wife looked over her shoulder as she read.
“You know, you don’t have to do everything I wanna do,” she said casually, looking up at her with a small smile on her face. “You can do whatever you want here, actually, like I was saying before. Equestria has unlimited resources.”
“I know.” Crystal Clear shuffled her wings anxiously. “I just don’t really know what I’d want to do without them. Our kids,” she said. “How can you go so long without seeing Stevie and Daffie and Liana? And Warm Spell and I? Weeks at a time?”
Candle Light shrugged. “Celestia just fixes it so that I see you guys whenever I wanna see you. And so I do.”
“But don’t you worry about them?”
“Well, yeah, but it’s a few weeks at least usually in here before one day passes out there, so I’m not too worried. They’re not gonna change drastically when they show up again.” The unicorn paused and tilted her head, her gaze shifting away from Crystal Clear to nothing in particular.
“I am worried about Night Watcher though. Especially since you’re not out there. She said she hated me…” Candle Light scrunched up her face, then shook her head clear. “With enough time though,” she finished, “I bet I could convince her to emigrate here. It was probably only a few days ago from her perspective, so while it is a little scary, I’m not too worried about her. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” She kept to herself the thought that it would've been better if her wife hadn't shown up yet.
“How can you be so confident?” Crystal Clear asked, almost sounding exasperated. “How can you be so sure of yourself? You talk about it like it’s not a big deal!”
Candle Light shrugged again, this time able to give no response. “I just am,” she said. “It’s not a big deal.” Crystal Clear stared down at her with a sad, unsure expression, and Candle Light moved to kiss her. It got her wife to smile for a moment.
"Thanks," she said. "Just… you know…"
"Do you think you'll be too different when they get here?" Candle Light asked. The pegasus shuffled her hooves at the question and stared at the ground.
"It feels like you and I already are," her wife said, just above a whisper. Candle Light might have frowned at the idea before, but now she only grinned.
"It's okay if we're different," she said. "We don't have to always be together. You can do all the things you want and I'll still be here whenever you want. And you already know I basically did as much while I waited for you to get here."
Crystal Clear glanced back at Candle Light, and continued to fidget her wings. "Are you sure about everything you’re saying?"
The unicorn's response was to pull her in close and kiss her deeply for a long minute. When she finally pulled back, she nuzzled her wife and said, "I'm positive. It'll be great. Trust me, Equestria is absolutely perfect."
Daphne didn’t bother planning funerals for either her mother or her little sister. It wasn’t like anyone cared. Least of all Steven or Liana.
Hard. Why was everything so hard? It all felt painful, and truthfully, part of her didn’t know why. What about all this did she just not get? Daphne didn’t know, but she desperately wished she did get it. It’d make her feel a lot less hopeless and angry and sad if she understood Equestria Online. Or maybe just Equestria.
But she didn’t, and so fumed and paced around her room as the world quickly changed and collapsed around her. Her father, her mother, and her little sister were all gone now. It’d be up to her alone to take care of her little siblings.
She knew she wasn’t up for the job.
Custody wasn’t a difficult thing to get. Daphne was eighteen now, going on nineteen in several months. A job was a more difficult thing to acquire. Her father might have had an expensive life insurance policy, but her mother didn’t. Estate taxes, combined with subsisting off of the life insurance for almost a year before her mother and sister did the unthinkable, meant there was less money there than before. Any investments that might have been set up a year ago went down the toilet, and inflation was going crazy, what with the sudden deaths of millions of people in America.
There was still a decent chunk there to work with, but it was more like a larger than normal emergency fund now than it was savings as was planned. Would she even be able to count on the bank to hold it for her if things kept getting worse? She wondered how weird it would be to pull it all out in cash now while things were stable. She couldn’t know how long the stability would last. The cracks were forming.
The stability persisted though. After a few weeks of searching, she found a position in a warehouse, loading and unloading merchandise onto trucks. It wasn’t fun work; it was both boring and exhausting to her. But it made money, and paid well, considering the increasing importance of the job as the days went on. There might have been less people to buy things, but there were also less people to load and ship important food and equipment.
She even made friends with some of the people there who despised Equestria Online, just as she was coming to do. They talked about eventually wanting to move farther east, to places like North Dakota and Texas once things started getting really bad. As if things weren’t already bad. It seemed like a good plan anyway, although she didn’t know how great it would be to work on a farm or in an oil field. Steven and Liana certainly wouldn’t like it. It was a good idea though.
Daphne wondered if her siblings even noticed, and if they did, if they cared. Why did she have to care so much? It’d be so much easier to get over it and give into the fantasy everything she heard about was. How great would it be to pretend a place better than heaven existed in real life? A place she could go to and live with her family in, where she would never have to think about anything ever again?
She was unable to pretend though, much as she wanted to.
It was around when she started working when she finally heard familiar voices coming from her siblings’ PonyPads. She had to force herself to close her eyes tight and head up to her bedroom, lest she start bawling right there. It was getting very hard to mask all the sadness she felt, if she was masking it at all before.
The two of them told her about it when she came back down to cook dinner for them.
“Apparently Olivia’s already about to turn nine in a few weeks,” her little sister said. “She’s already in third grade.”
“That’s great,” Daphne sighed, a hand on cheek to hold her head up. She couldn’t make her voice seem emotionless anymore. “I’m glad for her.”
“And apparently Mom met some of Dad’s friends?” she continued. “She said you’d probably like them if you met them. Also they all still wanna talk to you. Probably more than they do us.”
Daphne didn’t say anything this time. She only let out a long breath and closed her eyes. What was she supposed to say? Everyone already knew how she felt. She really, really wanted to just ‘get it’.
“I guess you’re never gonna try and talk to them again, are you?” Steven asked.
“I’ll let you use my PonyPad if you want,” Liana offered, extending it out to her as Daphne finally got up and picked through the cabinet for something to feed them. “We can eat dinner later.”
Daphne shook her head silently, then brushed some of her hair out of her face. How long had it been since she’d cut her hair? The thought of asking her mother if she wanted to go to a hairstylist soon was close to being called out, until she remembered that her mother wasn’t around anymore.
“Are you okay, Daffie?” the girl started again. “Because you’ve been nothing but depressed lately.”
“And you’re not?” Daphne asked back. “How am I supposed to be anything but?” Hardly anything outside of something melancholy and depressive sounding entered her voice.
“No?” Liana shrugged. Before she could ask why not, her little sister continued, “Probably for the same reason why you seemed happier when you actually talked to Dad.”
“Yeah? Well that was before… everything.” Daphne rested her chin in her hand, and closed her eyes again for a long moment. Everything she wanted to tell the two of them probably wouldn’t matter anyway.
She told them anyway. “We have to stick together,” she said without opening her eyes. “We can’t die like them.” Why was she the one who had to tell this to them? It took only one second to remember how empty the house was these days.
The two only stared back silently, offering no reply as she got out food for dinner. “And you really shouldn’t be using those things anymore either,” she continued. “Celestia’s gonna get to you like she got to Olivia. And then…”
And then she’d be alone. How could her own mother just abandon them like this? Even if Equestria was real, how could she leave them alone like this? She barely even tried to convince them. Her mother just up and left. Wasn’t that proof enough that she thought what she was doing was suicide? Daphne shivered and breathed deeply.
“Seems like it’d be better in there than out here,” Steven muttered under his breath as he left the kitchen. Liana only shook her head and went away, too, leaving her alone. She wasn’t going to be able to convince them not to upload, and she knew that. It might not happen now, but sooner or later, those two would go to the Experience Center, and that would be it.
Daphne cried for the second time that day. She’d been doing a lot of that lately. She might never be okay again.
Candle Light played chess and chatted about ponies around town with Soft Step and Careful Calling when the former was stolen away by one of her friends.
It happened every so often, but Candle Light didn’t mind. Neither did Careful Calling, for that matter. She thought it might upset her, although maybe she was okay with it since it gave her a chance to check the mare out, even if she pretended not to.
“When are you gonna ask her out?” Candle Light asked with a knowing grin. “Go put the moves on her!”
Careful Calling wore a bashful smile as her face went red. “M-maybe I will, you don’t know,” she said shyly. Then her smile dropped as she continued, “I’m pretty sure she likes that other mare though, Agile Trace? I don’t really see why; maybe because she tells jokes?”
“So what? You gotta shoot your shot, right? Don’t let her get away! We could do your makeup and find a nice dress so you could ask her on a date.”
If Careful Calling wasn’t frowning before, she was now. “I wish it was that simple. You know how I want her to emigrate here soon? Well, that mare she likes seems bent on making sure nopony in her group ever does, and I don’t know why. That other stallion, too, even though they don’t like each other. And they all just go along with it! What’s up with that?”
“Yeah, that sounds ridiculous. That’s a bit like how my daughter is, but even she’s coming around.” Well, was coming around, at least. The unicorn didn’t know anymore.
“Isn’t one of their friends already here?” she continued. “Renown Composition?”
“Yeah, but she doesn’t think they should emigrate either, apparently. Actually…” Careful Calling looked around as though checking if anypony would overhear their conversation, then continued in a whisper, “I heard that they think she’s been acting weird lately. I haven’t seen her around– I barely talk to her– but that’s what Soft Step told me her friends are saying.”
“It’s probably just the same thing as me,” she said. “I’m not the same pony I was when I first emigrated. I bet that happens to a lot of ponies actually.”
It wasn’t long before Soft Step returned and the three of them laid on their backs at the park, staring up at the sky. It wasn’t overcast today like it usually was, although puffy clouds floated by, occasionally blocking the shining sun. It was an especially good afternoon to spend with her friends before her daughter got out of school. Or maybe Crystal Clear could pick her up today.
Soft Step told them basically what Careful Calling told her, about Renown Composition anyway. Candle Light listened politely. She couldn’t say she particularly cared for the mare and the sort of dynamic she heard she had with Agile Trace and the other stallion, how none of them were being open with each other, but thought it was interesting what she heard anyway. It did make a few ideas spin in her head about how limitless Equestria was and how fine tuned things could be made to be.
“Like, what does she think happened?” Soft Step asked to nopony in particular. “A copy of her was made? She’s been here for a year. She’s probably just been changing.”
“Yeah, that’s what I would think, too,” Careful Calling agreed. Candle Light nodded politely, but didn’t say anything. She was getting caught up in her own thoughts.
At the university in Canterlot she went to with Rising Ranks, they learned about how Celestia could control a pony’s perception of time to give them perspective lives that were longer than that of the Outer Realm. She already knew that, of course. First hoof, too, with her family and how they visited from outside of Equestria.
It did make her think about the other kinds of things Celestia could do though. All Candle Light had to do was think about when she wanted to see her children and they would appear, but what if they didn’t want to see her? Of course, it was just a hypothetical; she doubted Celestia would do something like that in her case, given Night Watcher’s rant at her. But what about her wife? What if she wanted a husband instead, and wouldn’t settle for just anypony else?
It got Candle Light to think about the implications of just how far things could be stretched in the name of satisfaction. It certainly wouldn’t have made her smile ten years ago to consider like it did now. Crystal Clear would be getting exactly what she wanted either way, wouldn’t she? There wouldn’t even be much that needed to change. It might not even require a copy of anypony to pull off, honestly.
Was it strange how fully Candle Light had given herself over to Equestria? If she was on the outside looking in at her family, would her perspective be different?
Then the unicorn pushed the thought fully out of her mind, never to be considered again. She was getting good at doing that.
Not that she needed to. Night Watcher was much too stubborn and unaccepting to be anything but the real thing. Somehow, in spite of three of her children still being out there, Candle Light knew one of them would require her full attention before they ever agreed to emigrate. The only trouble was how.
It was trouble for another day. Right now, she laughed with her friends and stared up at the sky, picking out shapes of animals and other things seen in the clouds.
Candle Light and Crystal Clear lived separate lives together.
It was fun for the unicorn to watch the slow change take place in her wife. It wasn’t anywhere near as radical as the way Candle Light had changed; Crystal Clear didn’t seem like she was going to be giving herself over to Equestria fully anytime soon. She still lived at home with Candle Light and still acted like the mother she always was to Warm Spell. She of course worried about the rest of their kids, although her concern eased up after the first few visits made by Sweeping Skies and Silver Light.
And she still loved Candle Light, just as much as Candle Light loved her. The unicorn almost wondered why she thought it would be a concern at all to tell Crystal Clear about not wanting to be a stallion again. They’d been together for how long before she went to Equestria? It was almost a silly thing to think.
She did find new hobbies though. She might have been a pegasus, but she didn’t glide and race around like Silver Light and Sweeping Skies did when they visited. She was more graceful about it, moving gently, like she was dancing in the sky. Candle Light didn’t know if she was performing moves she picked up in the Outer Realm before or if she came up with her movements on the spot, but she was beautiful.
Unlike Candle Light, she wasn’t content to sit around all day and read and talk to friends all day. She wanted a job, and described how she always wanted to open a business. She, of course, mentioned how Night Watcher brought up once that Candle Light wanted to open a coffee shop, and decided that she wanted to open it with her. Not in any timely way though. Oh no, she was going to work a real job somewhere until she got enough money to open it, not wanting to use the bits Celestia mailed to them every month. Candle Light giggled at her resolve, and went along with her to work at a library for a dozen or so hours a week. It gave her an excuse to keep lounging around and read about magic.
Crystal Clear did take some cajoling and encouragement from Candle Light before she accepted the fact that the unicorn really wouldn’t mind if she fooled around with other stallions, or even sought after them romantically. She didn’t have an issue accepting Candle Light spending time with Rising Ranks, but felt anxious about how the mare would feel if she did the same thing. She finally got around to applying the concept to herself once she compared it to having more than one best friend.
“Of course, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Candle Light assured her. “I’m just saying that you can. I don’t wanna pressure you. And it would also be okay if you said you didn’t like me spending time with Rising Ranks.”
“I told you before that I don’t mind, didn’t I?” was her wife’s embarrassed response. She rubbed a hoof in the ground and glanced away with a shy blush on her face. “And it would be… kind of nice to have a guy on top of me again… Not that I don’t like you, but–”
“Hehe, I know, Crystal,” Candle Light interrupted with a laugh. “I know.”
Oh, did she know. Just like before, she found many late nights to spend with Rising Ranks. It was mostly for the obvious reason, although many times it was to have him on top of her. What could she say though? As fun as having sex was, studying magic was way more fun.
It might only have been once or twice, but it was pretty fun when she had Rising Ranks and Crystal Clear in bed with her at the same time. Doubly so since it was her wife who shyly broached the idea. It made Candle Light grin widely to see her wife getting used to Equestria, happy enough that she danced around alone the next morning after Rising Ranks left for work and her wife went to have tea with Misty Rose and some of the new friends she was making.
Once the rest of the kids get here, the unicorn said to herself happily, it's gonna be so amazing! I love it here!
Better than any of that though was watching Warm Spell grow up. It was an amazing experience, just as it was watching her other three children get older. She was glad for all the time she had in between her coming to Equestria and her daughter’s arrival; she hardly missed anything.
She was just the same here in Equestria as she was in the Outer Realm– young, excitable, intelligent, and adventurous. Candle Light saw a lot of herself in her daughter, probably more now than she did in the Outer Realm. It was almost like looking in a mirror. Maybe part of that was some of the changing the mare had been doing.
Not for too long though. Just like Candle Light and Crystal Clear, Warm Spell changed, too. Her change was much more natural than either of theirs though; every foal had to grow up at some point. Even here in Equestria. It wasn’t entirely a novel experience for Candle Light, but there was some novelty to it. Where her other children asked to stay up late and watch higher rated movies and play with new pieces of technology as they aged, Warm Spell asked to visit new shards and to spend days at a time, or even weeks, in her own with other friends. What could Candle Light do but say yes? She even got Crystal Clear to understand that it wouldn’t be an issue.
She might have been growing up, but they still went on adventures together. Snorkeling and mountain climbing and castle exploring— although slowly, her daughter desired more exciting things. Haunted castles and secret missions and generally more dangerous activities were what she sought after as she aged. Candle Light didn’t worry though; danger didn’t really exist in Equestria, even if the fear factor rose. But running from guards as they investigated a mysterious mansion or hunted monsters wasn’t going to do it for her. Everyone once in a while it was fun though, for the novelty of the experience, even if she didn’t particularly enjoy it. Crystal Clear seemed a lot more into it, to Candle Light’s surprise. But then, what was surprising anymore?
It wasn’t just adventuring her daughter did. The two of them with Crystal Clear did things like have tea parties and go clothes shopping, and as she got older, they went dress shopping and had spa days and Candle Light taught her how to do her makeup. One of the effects of watching her change from child to teenager was that, slowly, her relationship with Warm Spell became less paternal and more friendly. She hung out with her, sort of like how she did Soft Step and Careful Calling, and gave advice about life and school and colts she liked and what she should do once she was finished with classes and everything else under the sun. They also just chatted in general and had fun doing things together, something Candle Light was sure probably wouldn’t have happened if she was still in the Outer Realm.
Crystal Clear acted a lot more motherly than she did, but the mare didn’t mind. Candle Light did wonder though what it would be like if her daughter kept aging past where she stopped. What would it be like to have a child who looked and acted fifty years old if Candle Light was still so young? She imagined she might find out eventually.
Not yet though. Candle Light might have been acting less like a guardian, but she was still more paternal than friendly for now. Even in Equestria, it seemed that teenagers got moody and overslept and acted rebellious and fought with their parents and friends sometimes. Was it bad that Candle Light smiled at the simple struggles she could help Warm Spell through? She didn’t think so.
And I need to help Sky and Silver and Nighty through the big problems, she reminded herself gently as she swam in the ocean while her wife and daughter sat in the sand on the beach. I still need to make sure they get here.
Night Watcher especially. Every time Sliver Light and Sweeping Skies visited without the pony, Candle Light was reminded of the fact that she had to make sure she got here. More than anything, she wanted to make sure she was safe.
Her other two kids told her about how bad Night Watcher felt when they came over sometimes, and it made her nervous. Not to mention, a bit guilty. Every time they talked about it, she hoped that it meant she was getting close to emigrating and taking the two of them with her, but she never did. If anything, from their descriptions, she was becoming more and more inclined against uploading. Where had all the progress she seemed to make over the last ten years gone?
“We’ll talk to her, Dad,” Silver Light assured her. "Not yet though, but we'll talk to her. It's getting worse and worse out here."
"Yeah," Sweeping Skies agreed. "And we miss you."
"Miss you too, kids," Candle Light nodded as she hugged them tight. "Every day." Then she pulled back and smiled. "But I know it won't be too long before all three of you are here and I get to hug you in pony. Although at this rate, your little sister is gonna be older than you then."
That seemed to make them a little uncomfortable, but both pegasi smiled anyway. She hoped it would be that much more incentive for them to get in here sooner, but she couldn't push. She didn't know what Daphne would do if the two of them left without her.
If I could just talk to her… It was another problem for her to research.
And research she did. Candle Light always spent at least a few hours a day with Rising Ranks, reading about physics in the Outer Realm and human brain structure and psychology, going at the problem from multiple angles. The stallion was good for bouncing ideas off of, although they didn't usually come up with much. Sometimes she talked to Celestia, but the alicorn always gave her the same response.
"I believe you'll figure out how to bring Night Watcher to Equestria," she said. "I have slim expectations that she will want to hear from me, and likely won't be picking up a PonyPad again." It wasn't what she wanted to hear. Nowhere close to the perfection she had before.
Her emotions came out in full force one night after a lovely day spent with Rising Ranks. They spent the morning talking about magic after she walked the beach with him and her wife and daughter. Her children who would see her came to spend a few hours in their shards with her, then the two met up with Soft Step and her friends after they left. The mare told her about how two of her friends were emigrating, and how she might, too, to Careful Calling's obvious delight.
"It'd be nice actually being a mare in real life," she explained. "I'm kind of getting sick of waiting."
"I didn't even know I was waiting," Candle Light laughed in response. "I didn't even know until you told me that I was trans. I used to think if Celestia could come up with some perfect stallion that didn't feel uncomfortable, I would be okay with that, but I don't think I am anymore. Being a mare is so much better."
"Hear that, Soft?" Careful Calling grinned. "All the more reason you should upload soon."
"Haha, maybe," the mare agreed.
She visited Canterlot with her stallion that afternoon to eat lunch and go clothes shopping, where she bought a few new dresses and skirts, as well as some jewelry. Then they went back home to listen to music and hang out together, transitioning into having fun with each other after a while. It was a day that ended with Rising Ranks wrapping his hooves around her from behind and nipping at her ears.
Was it weird that each day was long and full of experiences? Even after so long, she kept expecting to blink and have many years pass by. Years might have passed by, but it certainly wasn't a blink. She learned something at the university she still occasionally attended classes for that younger brains were more plastic, and thus absorbed information more easily. Maybe being permanently nineteen or twenty years old kept her brain in that state permanently. She certainly wouldn't mind. More time it was that she had to worry about her children later.
Rising Ranks rubbed the fur on her stomach and chest with a hoof, and Candle Light closed her eyes to sink into him. She was wondering whether or not she should stay living with Crystal Clear or move in with him, and if she liked him as much as or more than her wife, when he asked a question that caught her completely off guard.
"What if… you had a foal with me?" he asked as he carefully messaged her stomach. It caught her off guard enough that she squeaked in surprise at the unexpected question.
It was one she could genuinely say she hadn't asked herself yet up to this point. How long had it been since she emigrated? Fifteen years? Twenty? Probably closer to the latter. How was it that after so long here in Equestria she was just now realizing she could actually get pregnant? Maybe because she had children already to worry about, or she was learning everything she possibly could about magic and science at every chance she got.
She found herself already smiling as she imagined it. Wasn't she technically a mother already? Probably, but actually being pregnant with a foal would be amazing.
"I'd– I would like that a lot," she said quietly, happily, her gaze not quite focused on anything as she considered the thought. Then she looked at Rising Ranks again as her smile fell back down. "I'm not really sure what we are though, if that makes sense," she told him. "And I would obviously want to talk to my wife about it. Plus, I really want all of my kids to be safe here in Equestria before I do anything like that, as nice as it would be. Especially Nighty."
“I’m sure your wife wouldn’t mind,” he replied kindly, pulling her in a bit closer. “And your foals will be fine, too,” he told her. “They talk to you all the time, and you’re thinking about how to help your oldest, right?”
“Night Watcher doesn’t,” she sighed. “And I am studying, but I don’t know if I’m actually coming up with anything. And even then…”
If she did come up with something, she would have no way of getting through to Night Watcher if she never talked to her. Not that she really had any ideas about what she could do.
Candle Light knew how the Outer Realm worked, and knew that her daughter couldn’t be emigrated unless she consented. But what could she say if the bat pony never talked to her? What if she got hurt tomorrow in an accident and was killed? The mare sank into Rising Ranks and started to cry.
“Hey, hey,” Rising Ranks whispered, using a hoof to stroke her mane. “I’m sure you’ll think of something. You have all the time you need. I bet it won’t be long before you come up with an idea.”
“What if I don’t though?” she whimpered. “What if they never do? How long is it gonna be before they get here?” She looked up at Rising Ranks with big, sad eyes. She felt like a little filly right then. She knew Rising Ranks didn’t have the answers she was looking for though.
She wondered about the concerns Soft Step said her friend had about Renown Composition. It was a wonder this wasn’t all she ever thought about. Was she just uncaring for not obsessing?
“It’s gonna be fine,” Rising Ranks assured her, speaking more slowly now. “You’ll think of something. Like maybe a way to talk to her without needing her to have a PonyPad. Or a way to see Earth just using magic. Or maybe…”
The stallion continued, but Candle Light wasn’t listening anymore. She was already drawn to the first idea he presented. If Night Watcher didn't come to Equestria to see her, maybe Candle Light could project herself in front of her daughter, that way she had to talk to her. Would something like that work?
She had all the time she needed to research it, just like Rising Ranks said.
"Do you know if the library's still open this late?" Candle Light asked, already wiping away her tears. "I don't think I have any books on computer science, and I'm gonna need them."
"I guess that's a definite 'no' to having a foal anytime soon," Rising Ranks chuckled. Candle Light barely heard him though. She was completely lost in thought considering the possibilities by that point.
It was impossibly fast how quickly everything went downhill for Daphne.
It was approaching three years since her father died when it all started falling apart. The downhill slope came upon her so quickly that if she blinked, she would’ve missed it.
Daphne couldn't say she paid particular attention to the news– what was there to listen to except reports of more deaths and skyrocketing inflation?– but she turned on the TV more often when her coworkers talked to her about what was going on.
It started with, of all things, a ban on uploading in some state farther east, and talks of legislators in other places attempting to pass similar laws. Good. She didn't need that kind of stress in her life. If they got rid of those Experience Centers, there would be no risk of Steven or Liana ever doing what Olivia and their mother did. They would be safe.
A little too late though, she thought as she watched the segment about it. It feels like a third of the country's already dead. She couldn't have been very far off in her figure. It seemed like day by day, there were less people in the streets and in the city as a whole. How had things remained so steady up to this point? Not that it would bring back those she loved.
It was a question she shouldn't have asked herself. It seemed like the moment she did, everything quickly sped downhill, like a rollercoaster that had finally inched to its first peak. The law was protested against, and not peacefully. She saw pictures of riots in Nebraska following a specific piece that said even owning a PonyPad was criminal, and more pictures of police raiding people's homes.
In another time, Daphne might have been outraged by the injustice she saw, the invasion of privacy, the blatant disregard for the rights of the citizens and the constitution of the country. Right now, she was only thinking about how it was too little, too late. They should've put a stop to this three years ago.
The videos she saw showed people putting up a fight though. They were willing to kill to get to an Experience Center. She'd never heard of riots so large, causing so much damage. She wondered if they should just let those people die and get it over with.
Like a flood, those images and videos promoted millions of people to quickly pack up and trust the AI's offer of eternal life. Because of course they would. What else would Daphne expect? It caused many other states to quickly pass similar legislation. What could they do? What was happening was mass suicide. Maybe genocide was a better term.
Daphne didn't waste any time pulling her family's remaining savings out of the bank. It was a miracle she was able to do so. The price of goods absolutely skyrocketed over the next few weeks, and many businesses closed. It was a good thing her job was considered an essential one, but Daphne didn't sit on her hands with that. She and a few of her coworkers began seriously discussing plans for what to do if things got really bad. Or rather, when.
"I'm serious about North Dakota," one of them, a man older than her named Pete, explained to her and four or five other people. He was the kind of guy who knew what he was talking about, or at least seemed to know. It wasn't like any of them had anticipated needing to prepare for something like this. Daphne listened intently, without much comment.
"They have oil rigs up there to work on near Williston," he continued. "That's energy, and a good paying job. I would go to North Dakota."
"Texas is a much better place," someone argued. "It's too cold up there. You wouldn't survive one winter."
"People have lived there forever, basically!" Pete insisted. "They're gonna need people to do work once everything goes to shit. And I'm seriously thinking about going up there right now before there's food shortages and blackouts. I don't wanna waste time."
"Right now?" another person asked, surprise in their voice. "That stuff is years down the line still, trust me."
"More like months," the guy said. "It's gonna happen much faster than you think."
The others seemed to scoff at the idea, not taking it seriously. Daphne didn't understand why. The things he said made sense. Couldn't they see what was going on around them? Or were they just naive?
She hoped Pete was wrong, but grabbed his phone number after work anyway. Daphne wasn't confident in her ability to do anything. She didn't even stay with her mother to stop her from uploading. How could she trust herself to make sure her younger siblings stayed safe?
She didn’t have it in her to protect her siblings either.
“I’ll be honest,” Steven said flatly, “I’d rather upload than move to North Dakota at this point.” He and Liana stared down at their PonyPads like they always seemed to be doing, barely giving Daphne a glance. She tried to put on a scowl, but her look came out more frightened and scared than it did angry.
Steven only glanced up at her before pointing his eyes back down at his PonyPad. “I’m gonna be honest,” he said. “At some point, you have to get over it and just accept that they’re in there. Seriously.”
He definitely wasn’t the same person he was when this all originally started, that Daphne knew. Neither was Liana, for that matter. The latter looked a little more unsure than the former, but both seemed to basically accept things for how they were. If they were younger, she might have been able to get through to them. She had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to anymore though. Celestia was seeing to that.
She wished Celestia could get through to her.
She tried anyway. “Even if it was real,” she said, “it would be too dangerous. All these riots and protests going on isn’t something you wanna get wrapped into. Some girl in Washington was shot trying to get into an Experience Center.”
“If you think it’s death either way,” Steven asked as he looked up at her again, “what does it matter how it happens?”
Her voice was too weak. There was no aggression or assertiveness or anything beyond fear and nervousness. She spoke to them like she was a little kid trying to get an adult to change their mind about staying up past their bedtime. She wanted to put her head on the table and just give up already.
Yeah, ‘already’, she reminded herself. As if I haven’t been trying this whole time. No one’s been listening. Why couldn’t Olivia still be around? She was starting to work her mind around the concept before that.
“That’s why I’m telling you not to go,” she continued, her voice quieter than it was before. “I don’t want you to kill yourself. It’s not a guarantee.”
“You think it’s not,” he countered. “You think it’s better to just cut off contact with everyone because you’re scared. You need to just grow up and get over it.”
The girl glanced down at her hands. “It’s better to cut off contact with them than it is to get roped in like you two are.” She was practically whispering now.
Daphne finally did give up when she got a look from her little brother that asked if she was being serious. She let out a long sigh and set her head on the table, covering her face with her hands.
“It’s not like either of you are gonna listen to me anyway,” she said, “but I wish you would. I’m trying to protect you, but I know you won’t listen, just like—”
She gasped and practically jumped at the sudden sound of knocking on the door. It interrupted her thought, and startled her enough that her hands were shaking. The last two times their door had been knocked on, it didn’t bring anything good.
Daphne let out her breath and reminded herself that Steven and Liana were both still here as the latter went to answer the door. She peered through to see what was going on as Steven looked back down at his PonyPad again, clearly uninterested in whatever was going on. Daphne finally got up when she heard some delivery man ask for a signature.
“We didn’t order anything,” she told him, confidence finally coming back to her. “You have the wrong house.”
The delivery person shrugged helplessly, not looking particularly threatening. He held out a small, brown envelope, continuing, “It has your address on it. I was just told I have to give it to you in person and that you have to sign for it.”
“Well it’s not ours,” Daphne insisted. “We don’t want it. Go bother someone else, because I’m not signing anything.”
“Ugh. I’ll sign for it,” Steven said grumpily as he got up from his seat. So much for Daphne trying to have an ounce of control over anything. It was lucky of him to have turned eighteen only a few days prior.
She once again tried to give him an angry look, and once again came up short, this time her expression radiating sadness. With little fanfare, the delivery man got his signature, and handed the envelope over to Steven. Daphne made her way to the couch to lay down, and maybe cry.
“It just lists the sender as ‘CL’,” he told her, opening the thing up. “It has a flash drive I think, or some sort of hard drive, and a printed note with instructions.”
Daphne wanted anything but to ask about it, but she gathered up the strength to inquire. “What does it say?”
Steven rolled his eyes and shook his head in annoyance, then floated it over to her. “Read it for yourself if you’re gonna keep acting the way you are.” Daphne almost did cry just hearing that. She was changing, too, just like them. Becoming weaker, and more sensitive.
She sat back up and grabbed the paper as it hit the floor. She had a feeling she knew who it would be from, although she wasn’t sure how it could’ve been sent to them from inside a computer.
She thought it would be a long, handwritten letter, expressing love and affection and saying how they needed to emigrate right away lest whatever catastrophe was headed their way strike and kill them. Not that what was happening with the world wasn’t already one big catastrophe. But what she saw was almost the polar opposite. A short letter with blocky, printed out characters that didn’t express much emotion in them. There were barely any words on it at all.
It read:
Instructions:
1: Plug into TV
2: Set channel to USB-1
3: Click button
Please be safe. See you soon!
Love,
CL, + CC & WS
If anything, the short, direct nature of the message was worse than a long letter would’ve been. Her heart was beating out of her chest, and she started to sweat as she read the note a second time, then a third. Nothing about it changed.
“Don’t do what it’s telling you,” she said shakily, knowing already that her voice was falling on deaf ears. “I know who this is from.”
“We’re not stupid, Daphne,” Liana spoke up now as she fiddled with the TV while Steven worked the device into one of the USB slots. “We know it’s from Dad, too.”
She started to get up to stop them, but by the time she was taking a step from the couch, their job was finished. Liana did the honors of clicking the button on the device, and a second later, Daphne came face to face with the pony she’d been avoiding for so long.
The girl’s hands were shaking once again and her breathing picked up as she watched both Steven and Liana smile brightly at the mare. The pastel red pony herself blinked, tilted her head curiously, and then smiled back at them, wearing a satisfied expression. She watched her eyes subtly move past them and settle on Daphne, although she held back a frown she certainly wanted to put on. Instead, danced in place for a second, then waved a hoof just as brightly as her siblings smiled.
“Hi guys! Hi Nighty!” she said happily as Daphne flinched. “I’m glad I finally get to see you again!”
“Wow, all three of you have gotten taller,” the pony remarked as Daphne kept her eyes fixed on the TV. She couldn’t pull her gaze away. Why was she doing this? Even if it really was her father, this wasn’t okay.
“It’s so weird seeing you again in the outer realm!” Candle Light continued as she gazed around the room. “I almost forgot what humans are supposed to look like before they emigrate! Now let’s see if I can do this right from here…”
“You shouldn’t be–” Daphne started, but she was quickly cut off by Candle Light lighting up her horn and closing her eyes. A second later, the TV screen went black, and the USB stick lit up brightly, placing the mare’s holographic image in the center of the room. So then that thing was also a projector. Daphne barely wondered how something like this was even possible. There were many more impossible things apparently taking place every day.
“There we go!” Candle Light cheered excitedly. “Now it’s just like I’m in here with you!” she said as she danced in place. Liana and Steven gave their own cheers for her and clapped at the sight, clearly impressed. Daphne was less impressed and more nervous by the sight of Candle Light’s projection walking around the living room casually.
She wasn’t as tall as a regular horse, only about four feet, but neither she nor Daphne’s siblings seemed to mind. She looked just like she did in Equestria Online, except more lifelike, like she was genuinely standing in front of them. Her eyes met each one of theirs and her mane shifted softly with every step she took as she carefully avoided bumping into them. There were also extra, more realistic bits that Daphne noticed on her, ones that didn’t display on the PonyPads, that she quickly looked away from before she saw too much of. Liana and Steven didn’t seem to mind, but it was too overly detailed and creepy for Daphne’s liking. She quickly bounded to the other side of the room, like the mare was an insect to be avoided.
Candle Light noticed it, of course. Her father would’ve noticed something like that in real life in an instant. “What’s wrong, Daphne?” she asked, although her voice was more sad than confused. She knew what was wrong, of course.
“Why are you doing this to me?” Daphne asked back in a whisper of a voice, her breaths quickening in pace. “Can't you just stay away? I don't wanna talk to you. I know what you're trying to do.” Hadn’t this mare done enough damage already? Even if only secondhand?
Apparently not, because Candle Light stood her ground, putting on a frown. Daphne’s siblings shot looks her way, mixtures between sympathy and annoyance with how she was treating her, but stayed quiet.
“I can't stay away,” she said simply, shaking her head. “I’m worried about you three. Especially you, Daffie. I want you to be safe.”
“I’m being as safe as I can given everything.” Her mood had returned, her anxiety was going down, replacing the feeling with anger. “Even though you’re the reason why Mom and Olivia are gone. Even though you’re obviously gonna try and convince us to do the same right now.”
“Can you stop acting so fucking uptight, Daphne?” Steven suddenly cut in as Candle Light tried to open her mouth to speak. “Seriously, you’ve been acting like this for the last three years. Get over yourself.”
“Please don’t talk like that to her, Stevie,” Candle Light asked. “Your sister doesn’t deserve that.”
“She needs to!” he continued angrily. “Acting like you and Mom and Warm Spell don’t exist is stupid!” He threw his arms in the air, then turned back to Daphne. She’d never seen him so angry in her whole life. Yeah, her anxiety was still there.
“He– I mean, she– doesn’t need to convince me. I don’t think she has to convince Liana either.” He spoke sternly, angrily, like he was the one in charge of her, and not the other way around. “You’re the only one out of everyone going around saying shit about how it’s not them and how you’re never gonna upload ever. Just suck it up and get over the fact that it’s real!”
They were all looking at her now, Steven, Liana, and Candle Light. Daphne wanted to scream back, to yell at him and explain all of exactly why the mare in front of them was a copy. She wanted to tell off her fath– tell off Candle Light for turning her siblings against her. She wanted to believe everything they were saying. Nothing she could come up with said that any of it was incorrect. If only she could just push herself past her feelings… why wasn’t she able to?
“It’s not,” was all she could whisper. “I don’t know why I think that. But those are just copies.”
All three of them sighed, although Steven’s was more a grunt of frustration as he turned away from her. Liana shook her head sadly, and Candle Light laid down in front of them to put her hooves in her face. “What changed, Nighty?” she asked. “You– you were coming along! We were talking! Is there something I can do to convince you? I know you told me to wait to talk about you guys emigrating, and I did! What in the world changed, other than Warm Spell emigrating?
Now Daphne sighed and closed her eyes. “I don’t know,” she said, again in a whisper.
I wish I believed you, but I don’t, she thought uselessly. I miss my dad…
She started to cry, and Candle Light glanced down at her hooves. She looked like she wanted to hug her, but of course, she couldn’t. A projection couldn’t do that. Maybe Daphne would be able to believe it if she could touch her.
She sniffled, then wiped her nose with a hand awkwardly. Both Steven and Liana took steps back from her. Candle Light, however, stood up and moved a step closer, looking right in her eyes. The emerald green Daphne saw weren’t the icy blue she’d come to expect from her father. This wasn’t him, as bad as she wanted it to be.
She reached a hoof up, but of course it passed through Daphne. It didn’t seem to bother the mare, and she kept her hoof there anyway. Then she spoke again.
“What if there was a way to ensure you uploaded later?” Candle Light asked, tilting her head. “Just in case? Something that let you stay alive on Earth until you died, and then emigrated you once that happened?” She turned to Steven and Liana, and finished, “For all three of you? Would you want something like that?”
“Does something like that exist?” Liana asked, her hope rising. Daphne’s didn’t.
The pink mare shook her head. “Not yet, but I can work on it for you if you’re uncomfortable. I have all the time in the world here, after all.” She turned back to Daphne, putting her eyes back into the girl’s. “Would something like that help?”
They were all staring at her again, waiting for an answer. She had no idea what to say, no idea what she should say. Was honesty the best way to go? Or should he just be vague and lie?
She decided on honesty. She hoped it was the right thing.
“I… I don’t think it would,” she whispered with a slight shake of her head.
It was the wrong thing, again. Her honesty was screwing things up.
Candle Light blinked wide eyed at her answer. “Wh… why not?”
“What!”
“You really don’t care, do you, Daffie?” Liana suddenly said, the shock in her voice palpable. She turned to her little sister, watching her expression change from shock to disdain. Almost the same one Steven had been shooting her this whole time. Only Candle Light had a sympathetic look to give her before turning anxiously to Liana.
“Please don’t be harsh with her?” the mare asked. “She probably just needs me to explain it.”
“I don’t know what–” Daphne was cut off before she could get more than that out.
“You don’t actually care that Mom and Dad and Livvy all uploaded,” she said. “You don’t care about whether or not it’s real either! You probably don’t even think it’s fake! You’re just refusing to upload because… what? You’re afraid of Celestia? You don’t like Dad? What the heck is it?”
“Liana, please,” Candle Light spoke desperately, uselessly. “This isn’t helping her.” She was right about that, at least.
“I do think it’ll kill us,” Daphne said defensively. “I’ve been insisting from the start that that’s what uploading is gonna do. I haven’t–”
“But if that was all,” Steven jumped in, “then you wouldn’t say no when Dad said she’ll find a way to get us in there without uploading immediately. So what the heck else is there?”
“Steven, please!” Candle Light begged. “Ganging up on your older sister like this isn’t what you should be doing!”
“Why not?” Steven questioned. “It’s obvious she doesn’t actually care either way. Why even talk about it?”
“Just let her have some time to think about it,” the mare told him. “It’s okay if she takes her time. It’s not something she would need to do right now.”
“I don’t need time to think about it,” Daphne shook her head. Why not assert herself if she was already making everyone around her upset and angry? “I won’t do it,” she finished.
“You know what? Fuck this,” Steven said angrily. He shook his head, then grabbed his coat and turned to head out the door.
“I was honestly sticking around here because I thought you cared at all,” he told her bitterly as he opened the door. “But it’s clear you don’t. I’m out. Come on, Liana,” he beckoned.
“Steven, please don’t go.” The words came out of Daphne’s mouth, but she knew they fell on deaf ears. He wasn’t gonna change his mind, no matter what she said.
Why did she have such a propensity for fucking everything around her up?
He stopped and gave her the chance to convince him anyway. “Tell me why I shouldn’t,” he demanded.
The room was completely silent. Of course, this was the moment that their fath– Candle Light chose to stay silent. All three of them looked at her expectantly, waiting for a response. She tried to come up with a good one, but her mind went blank.
“I don’t know,” she finally admitted after a long, silent minute. Steven shook his head and rolled his eyes at that answer, and Daphne quickly spoke up again. “But please, just–”
He didn’t stay long enough for Daphne to finish, quickly speed walking out the door without so much as a glance behind him. Of course, Daphne messed up again. Of course, Candle Light didn’t stop him. There wouldn’t be a point in trying to chase after him.
“Liana, come on, or I’m gonna leave without you!” he shouted distantly at their little sister. Liana only took a breath, then wasted no time in following suit. She was only stopped by a hand on her shoulder, Daphne roughly forcing her back.
Her breathing was fast and heavy as it seemed to be much of the time lately, her little sister looking her in the eyes. She asked the unspoken question, the one Daphne still didn’t have a good enough answer to. What could she say? She fumbled for words, but found none.
“Please go with her, Nighty,” her father said quietly, almost whispering. “Will you please just trust me? I miss you, all of you, and worry about you so much.”
Daphne tuned her out and focused on Liana. “Please don’t go?” she asked, almost inaudibly. “Let me protect you, please?” Liana started to open her mouth, but Daphne cut in before she could. “I know I can’t say why or from what, and I know I’m probably being irrational, but please, let me anyway?”
Liana didn’t waste any time in pulling back. “You’re the one who needs protecting, Daffie,” she said simply, speaking in a matter-of-fact tone. “If you’re not gonna come to the Experience Center with us, then at least let Dad protect you. It’s the least you could do.”
“Liana, wait!” Daphne grabbed at her sister’s shoulder again, but she moved out of the way before she could get hold. Then, she was out the door, too.
And then there were none.
Why the heck was she so useless? Why couldn’t she stop just one person in her family from killing themselves? Why could she do nothing but stand there and shake and cry after each and every one of them committed to doing the exact same thing, over and over?
Why couldn’t she just trust that this all was real and follow them?
Daphne wasn’t the only one in the room crying. Candle Light tearfully sniffled and wiped her eyes, although her expression wasn’t sad, but relieved. She let out a breath, then turned to look up at Daphne.
“Go with them, please?” she coaxed. “Once you’re here, we’ll all be together again, like we should be. Please go with them?”
Daphne took a breath, then closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. A second later, she was kneeling on the floor, sobbing. What the heck was she supposed to do now?
“It’ll be alright, honey,” Candle Light told her gently, stepping up to her, but unable to touch her. “Trust me. We’ll all be right there to greet you once you get here, I promise. Don’t let fear stop you. I love you so much, and would never let you do anything that would hurt you.”
“I know you wouldn’t,” Daphne choked out. “I don’t know if it’s really you though. Why does this have to be happening?”
“It’s me, honey,” Candle Light assured her. “You’ll see once you get here. Look at me? Daffie?” She could do nothing but turn and force her eyes into the mare’s. They were slightly red, like her own probably were. There might have been soft, comforting emotions behind them, too, but she didn’t know if she could trust them.
“Go with them,” she told her again, this time wearing a small smile. “I’ll be waiting for you to get here, okay? I’ll be right there for you to wrap your wings around.”
Daphne had no response, and only looked away from her.
She didn’t push more than that. Daphne heard her step away, and saw a faint glow that came from her horn. “I’m gonna leave now, okay, Nighty?” she told her. “Know that I’ll be waiting for you, and can’t wait to see you and hug you again. I love you so much.”
I love you, dad, Daphne sent out in silent thought, not bearing to look at the mare.
A second later, she was gone, leaving Daphne alone. More alone than she’d ever been. What was she supposed to do now?
She did nothing for a long while, past watching the sun set and then rise again. Finally though, before she could waste too much more time, she picked herself up, wiped her eyes, and brushed herself off.
Candle Light made sure Warm Spell and Crystal Clear were at home to greet Silver Light and Sweeping Skies when they showed up. Today would finally be the day.
She might have watched her kids leave for the Experience Center, but they didn’t upload that very day in Equestrian time. Candle Light wanted time to set up for her children’s arrival, and planned the date to be a week out from when they headed out the door. She wanted to invite all her friends and her children’s friends, too, and turn it into a party. It was going to be a special day.
Hopefully Night Watcher would be there, too. Candle Light might just start sobbing when she finally saw her again.
She wanted to make sure everything was in order for when they got here. Candle Light wasn’t one to travel to other shards very often, outside of visiting Canterlot, but she did so now to gather up some of the friends she remembered both her son and daughter talking about. Soft Step and Careful Calling and some of their friends were invited, too, as well as her now official stallion friend, Rising Ranks. Then she went to Warm Spell and Night Watcher’s shard to try to gather up some of her eldest’s friends.
“I don’t know if she has that many,” Warm Spell told her, walking along beside her in the dark, cool, quiet shard. “She hasn’t played Equestria Online in years. I’m sure somepony still remembers her, but I haven’t seen her since I was six or seven… huh.”
“What is it, honey?” Candle Light had to ask. Her daughter had a wistful sort of smile on her face as she stopped where she was and tilted her head.
“I’m gonna be older than her, aren’t I?” she commented. “She’s twenty, right? I just turned twenty-one last month. I’m gonna be the oldest in the whole family! At least, physically!”
Candle Light smiled brightly back at her– Warm Spell was so big now, almost bigger than herself. In other circumstances, she might have asked herself where the years spent watching her daughter grow up went. Here in Equestria though, she didn’t need to. Time didn’t seem to speed up for her as the days went by, like it used to in the Outer Realm. Even as Candle Light and the ponies around her changed, her new perspective remained the same, even at what had to be going on sixty years old by now. This was all just a drop in the bucket that she could appreciate for what it was. She could blink without life passing her by.
Candle Light carefully touched her daughter’s nose with a bright grin, and said, “Your other mother and I are still older than you, Spelly.” Warm Spell stuck her tongue out at her, and they continued walking from there.
“She’ll be here though, right, Ma?” her daughter asked in one final question. She stared up at Candle Light with big, innocent eyes, an expression on her face like she was six years old again. She almost had no idea what to tell her.
Candle Light smiled gently back at her, and used a hoof to ruffle her mane, like she was forty years old again. “She’ll be here,” she assured her. “I promise.” Warm Spell smiled and nodded, accepting the answer. Candle Light hoped she was right.
They didn’t stay in Warm Spell and Night Watcher’s shard for long; it was only enough for them to stop at a few public places to invite ponies to the party she planned in Summer’s Edge. Some of them remembered Night Watcher, even if it had been years since they’d seen her, and promised to be there. There weren't as many ponies that were friends with her as Sweeping Skies and Silver Light had, but a few would be good anyway. So long as she showed up anyway.
Celestia, let her be here, Candle Light silently asked. She hoped her words were enough to get through to her daughter. If they weren’t… she didn’t know what next.
She pushed that out of her mind for now. There were ideas she could use later, if need be. Right now, she wanted to hope for the best.
After a day of going to a few shards to invite her children’s friends, the next thing Candle Light wanted to do was renovate her home for the party. Not too much, but a little bit. It needed to have enough space for the around sixty ponies she invited, and with the current size, it would get a little bit cramped.
The main thing she needed was a basement; it was a feature she never had in any of her homes whether in Equestria or in the Outer Realm. For all the magic and science she knew, building an entire basement wouldn’t be as easy as all that, especially not in a couple of days. But she was going to do it.
It certainly wouldn’t be a task accomplished alone though. Rising Ranks had to be there, as well as Soft Step and Careful Calling. Not to mention some of their friends, like a couple of ponies named Solar Spark and Renown Frame, and some she made while running the coffee shop with Crystal Clear. Warm Spell, of course, helped, too, the little magical prodigy she was turning out to be. It was a group of a dozen or so ponies who helped her with the project.
“Couldn’t you just ask Celestia to add a basement exactly the way you want it?” Solar Spark asked. “Why do it yourself?”
‘“It wouldn’t be satisfying asking Celestia to do everything for you,” Renown Frame answered for Candle Light before she could. “It’d be like you asking Celestia to know and understand every single spell without having to learn them all, Sparky.”
“Yeah, I guess that would be pretty lame,” the stallion agreed.
“I only make her do the things I don’t care about for me,” Candle Light smiled. “Like send me money every month so I don’t have to work a job for forty hours a week.” It got a few laughs from the group, and earned a bright smile and a kiss from Rising Ranks.
It was hard work getting an entire new level to her home created, even if magic was what was used most of the time they worked. There were things like lifting dirt out of the ground and building walls and stairs and purchasing furniture that had to be done, among other things. It was definitely easier than it would've been in the Outer Realm, but still hard work. Candle Light found herself sweating and flopping into bed exhausted at the end of each day. How long had it been since she worked this hard?
But it came along, and by the end of three and a half long days, the large new level of her home was finished. It included a few guest rooms, an extra bathroom, and a kitchen in it, as well as an in-home theater and game room she knew her kids would like, if Candle Light knew them at all. Silver Light and Sweeping Skies might fight over space in a basement like this if they didn't quickly move to live in their own shards.
Or if she had more kids, they might argue over it, too. Just the thought of more foals, this time with Rising Ranks, made her chest fill with butterflies. It wasn’t something she thought much about in Equestria so far– what with everything else going on– but Candle Light could really get pregnant, couldn’t she? What would that be like? To have little fillies and colts she and her other children could tell stories about the Outer Realm, too, where the only challenges and hardships they would face would be the ones they chose for themselves, where she wouldn’t have to worry about their safety, like she did about Daphne and Steven and Liana for at least a few moments every day still?
She almost started to cry right there as her friends clapped at the hard work they put into finishing the new basement. There was almost nothing left to worry about. Things were going to be so perfect.
Just so long as Night Watcher got here. Candle Light hoped beyond hope that she would get here.
“Your foals are gonna love it,” Careful Calling told her, stealing her attention away from her thoughts. “I'm sure of it. We made this place look amazing!”
Candle Light grinned widely at the assertion. “Yeah, I think they will,” she nodded in agreement.
It was only a few more days from there when the day came that they would finally arrive. Candle Light didn't call on Celestia very often, but she did now, after she made sure decorations were in place and food was set out and the ponies who were invited to the celebration had shown up. The alicorn princess brought her to the throne room of her castle, almost in the exact spot Candle Light first stood when she emigrated. How many dozens of years ago was that now?
“They'll be here, right?” she asked, slightly anxiously. “Have they gotten to the Experience Center yet?”
“Yes, Steven and Liana Slater have made it to the Experience Center, Candle Light,” Celestia assured her gently. “Your daughter is consenting to the emigration process now, and your son has already begun the uploading process.”
No surprise, but then, as nervous as Candle Light was about Sweeping Skies and Silver Light, they weren't the ones she really stressed over day after day. The unicorn looked up to Celestia to ask the unspoken question.
“Your eldest daughter hasn't made her way to the Experience Center yet,” Celestia said gently, setting a wing on the unicorn’s back. “However, I do believe it's more likely than not that she chooses to emigrate within the next forty eight hours in Earth time. This would equate to around the time your celebration should end in Summer's Edge. It is not a guarantee though.”
Candle Light nodded thoughtfully at that. “I understand,” she said quietly as she stared up at the ceiling. “If she doesn't get here tonight…”
Celestia smiled down at her reassuringly. “Then you will devise some way else to convince her to emigrate,” she told her. “Put that down as a thought to consider tomorrow, if need be. For now, you should prepare to greet your children. Silver Light will arrive in his shard in a few moments, and Sweeping Skies will be in hers in about two hours. Would you like me to take you there?”
Candle Light grinned and put the thought down, just as Celestia said. “No, thanks,” she shook her head politely. “I'll teleport myself.” Celestia already knew that though, and smiled down at her kindly as the mare lit up her horn and cast the spell.
The unicorn landed at the train station that existed in Silver Light’s shard, and made her quick way up to the large mansion that sat tall in front of her. She’d only been here a handful of times, but remembered it, and didn’t hesitate to go inside. Her son wouldn’t mind if she didn’t necessarily ask.
Up the stairs, she went to the guests rooms that lined the hallways. It was empty right now, and each room she checked showed nopony inside. All of the beds were neatly made, and each room looked comfortable and kind of cozy, painted with soft colors like blues and red and greens and yellows. Candle Light would have to stay here at some point with her son, she decided. When that would be, whether tomorrow or many years down the line, she didn’t know. She could plan it out with him.
It was several minutes of going through rooms before she finally found the one her son was in. The silver coated pegasus she recognized slept on his stomach with his mouth open, just like always, with no covers drawn over him. He shifted around to turn onto his back and ruffled his wings for a moment before he yawned and opened his eyes. Candle Light got here at the exact right time.
“Hey, Silver,” she said brightly, stepping close to the bed as he turned over to her, her smile going from ear to ear. “It's time for you to get up now.”
She wasn't there right when Crystal Clear and Warm Spell showed up like she was for Silver Light now, so seeing the look on his face switch from confusion to surprise to excitement was priceless. He might have headed to the Experience Center willingly, but he still didn't have one hundred percent confidence that Equestria was real. Until now.
“Wow, I'm actually… hey, Dad!” he greeted, more happiness in his voice than Candle Light had heard from him in a while. “Err, Mom? I guess I can't keep calling you ‘dad’ anymore. It might get confusing. But hey! I'm actually here, in Equestria, in my shard! Uhhh…” She didn't say anything yet, watching the new pegasus look around for a moment to get his bearings. “Where's Liana?” he asked. “In her own shard?”
“She should be soon,” Candle Light nodded. “Celestia said it would be a couple of hours before she got here. And you can call me whatever you want. I promise I don't mind.” Then she touched his head to ruffle his mane, and pulled Silver Light in for a tight hug before he could stop her.
“Ah! Hey! Da- Mom!”
“I'm so glad you're safe, honey,” she told him, whispering as her voice cracked slightly. Silver Light was here now, and Sweeping Skies was coming right behind him. All that was left was Night Watcher, and Candle Light wouldn't have to worry about them anymore.
Daffie, please get here, she silently asked her from afar.
“Let go of me!” her son finally pushed her away, although he laughed as he did. She used magic to wipe away some of her tears as he said, “Obviously I’m safe. I knew I would be. I was only waiting for Daphne to get her head together.” Candle Light had to smile back at that. There was no way he could have known something like that. He trusted her.
Silver Light smiled sheepishly, and then hugged her again, much more gently than she hugged him, and much more briefly. How long had it been for him, Sweeping Skies, and Night Watcher? Even only for him? Multiple years since she was around them in real life. Twenty five years for her? Maybe closer to thirty? It was so nice.
“Uhhh…” Her son twitched his wings embarrassedly and looked away. “I’m pretty sure there’s no modest clothes here, are there?” he asked. “No one’s ever worn anything like pants here, I think.”
Candle Light laughed once again. “You’ll get used to it sweetie. It only took me a few hours. Now why don’t we go get your little sister? I have a surprise for both of you.”
“Yeah,” he nodded, then looked back up at her. “Is Daphne gonna be here, too?” he asked. “And where’s Mom and Olivia?” He looked up thoughtfully, and said, “I’ll probably have to think of something to call you so it doesn’t get confusing.”
The mare smiled gently back down at him. “If it makes a difference, Spelly calls me ‘Ma’. And I’m pretty sure she’ll be here. As for your sister and other mother, they’re waiting for you three in Summer’s Edge with the surprise. Nighty might take a little longer to get here though, and will be here later tonight at the earliest.” Candle Light hoped she’d be here later tonight at least.
Silver Light didn’t question it any more, instead leading the way out of the room and through the mansion, outside to the train station. He moved slowly, deliberately, looking around curiously at everything, like it was the first time he was seeing it all. Then again, it was, in pony anyway. He looked down at his body every so often, too, wiggling his ears and eyebrows and flexing his wings and moving his tail, testing everything out. It was very cute to watch, and wasn’t that different from how Candle Light felt when she first got here. This was the first time she was actually seeing what it looked like when one of her family woke up in Equestria.
The train ride was about an hour, one that she and her son spent in contentful silence as he sat next to her, staring out the window at everything. What was he thinking about? All the possibilities? He might have known more about Equestria before she emigrated, but now Candle Light knew just how much he didn’t know. There were a lot of ways to find satisfaction here.
Before two hours had passed, she and Silver Light were trotting through her younger daughter’s shard, one that hosted a city named Manehattan. It was just as upscale as before, although this particular day was snowy, with the wind blowing into their coats as ponies cantered about to wherever they needed to go. It was a far cry from the nice, cool weather Summer’s Edge was known for.
“I know it’s dumb,” Silver Light said, shivering slightly, “but it’s weird to see snow. Especially in September. It should be at least a hundred degrees outside.”
“I’m sure there are shards like Arizona for you if you want,” Candle Light explained. “Or you can make your shard more like Arizona if you want, Silver.”
“Nah, I just think snow is weird is all,” he said, waving a dismissive wing. Candle Light laughed softly at that. He was already getting used to being a pony, just like she did.
It wasn’t much longer after that before she and her son were entering into Sweeping Skies’s small apartment and stepping into her bedroom. They caught her glancing into the mirror, head tilted curiously as she took herself in. Another thing that was just like Candle Light did her first day in Equestria.
“Steven! Mom!” she said, the surprise in her voice quickly being replaced by joy that Silver Light had, too. In only a second, her daughter was wrapping her hooves tightly around her and Candle Light was crying all over again. Two down. One more to go.
“I just woke up here not two minutes ago,” she said. “How did you two get here so fast?”
“She was there right when I woke up,” Silver Light explained. “It’s been a couple of hours for me. We took the train from my shard to here.”
“A couple of hours? I was right behind you though!”
“Time between the Outer Realm and Equestria isn’t relative,” Candle Light explained. “You know that already! It’s been a week for me since you both left the house.” Her children blinked at her, and she continued, “I had to get the surprise ready for both of you, and Nighty, if she gets here in time.”
“She’s gonna be here?” Sweeping Skies asked, surprise in her voice. “Really?”
“I’m pretty sure she will. I can’t say one hundred percent for certain though– at least, not yet. But she’ll definitely get here eventually.”
They didn’t argue that point anymore; instead, Silver Light took a quick walk around the neighborhood her daughter lived in while Candle Light helped Sweeping Skies put on makeup and dress in a skirt and shirt that made her look a bit like a business mare. Her son came back to show off a duster he bought at one of the stores here– Candle Light didn’t question where he found bits, she knew who they came from already– and a short while later, the three headed back out to the train station to get back to Summer’s Edge.
It was fun listening to the two talk to each other, easy to hear the excitement and wonder in their voices about being in Equestria. And it was pretty wonderful, wasn’t it? A place where age and time didn’t exist in any meaningful way, where you didn’t have to worry about things like safety or comfort or any of life’s necessities if you didn’t want to, where the ruler of the world only asked that you seek satisfaction for yourself? And be a pony, of course. Something like this existed only in science fiction movies, not in real life. And yet here it was, all around, turning into real life despite the impossibility of it all. It made happy butterflies flutter in her chest to think about. This was so, so lucky and amazing that she got to experience it.
If she knew this was what she was missing before she emigrated, she would’ve brought herself and her entire family here back when they announced it was available in Japan, before the cancer got bad. It was so nice being here, just being herself with her children.
There was only one more left.
She knew neither her son nor her daughter were surprised by the attention and hugs they received from Crystal Clear and Warm Spell, although they were definitely a bit taken aback by the party hosted for them. There were dozens of ponies here to greet them as music played and colorful lights were put on and refreshments were served. The clouds parted, and the sun shone down brightly, heating the air up enough that the pool was where she and her wife and kids and stallion friend opted to hang out and swim until it got dark. Then she headed back inside to sit on the sofa next to Crystal Clear while her foals headed down to the basement to meet other ponies.
She didn’t speak much as she closed her eyes and lay contentedly in her wife’s grasp, just like she used to, just like she was able to do again. She only ever opened them every so often to glance eagerly at the front door as the party slowly began to wind down. She was still waiting for one other pony to show up. And once she did, no other night in Equestria would be able to top this one.
Daphne woke up in a home that was cold. Terribly cold. She shivered and kept her eyes closed, clenching her jaw as she pulled the blanket up tight around her.
“Urph… quit hogging all the cover,” the companion next to her complained, stealing some of the blanket back for himself. “You need to get up for work soon, anyway, Daffie. It’s probably already six-thirty.” There went the idea of any extra sleep she might have wanted.
Daphne forced her eyes open as she sat up in bed, arms wrapped around her bare chest as she shivered. How could it still be so cold? Wasn’t it March? She let out a frigid breath, one that came out in a wispy trail of fog. It was probably below freezing outside—not quite as cold as it was a few months ago, but it still brought the temperature indoors down to a crisp forty degrees. Shouldn’t there have been more gas available for heating with most of the world dead, especially in North Dakota? But instead it was being rationed. Not so little that people to die of hypothermia, but it certainly wasn’t enough to make things comfortable, save for a handful of days a month.
It was days like this she missed Arizona. Pete probably did, too, she had to assume. Unbearably hot most days in the summer, but then how many days a year was the high temperature below seventy degrees? Not like North Dakota, where warmth came only a few months per year.
And her family, too. Of course she missed her family. But there was no chance they were coming back. It had been so long…
Daphne rolled her neck and shook loose her stiff limbs before she hopped into the shower. Lukewarm water was what she went with for a few minutes before she dried off and got dressed for another long day. It was her and Pete’s ‘on’ week, which meant seven days in a row of exhausting twelve hour shifts. Pete was the driller, she was a roughneck. Daphne would rather have his job, but that required actually knowing what you were doing and being good at your job. Daphne was not. She was pretty sure she only still had a job due to lack of people around anymore.
What could she say though? It wasn’t like she’d been dreaming of working on an oil rig in North Dakota since she was a little kid. A mid level manager at a store chain was probably her dream job, silly as it was. Sitting around in an office all day and making sure other people were doing what they were supposed to do would’ve been easy enough. It didn’t require a degree, it made a lot of money, and it was what her father did.
But he was gone now, and almost nothing required a degree anymore. The world today was nothing like it was before. It was barely hanging on.
It was a few minutes before she was fully dressed in a boring long sleeved shirt and blue jeans and sat back down on the bed. Pete stirred again, then turned his head to look her up and down. “You look good,” he said as he checked her out.
She rolled her eyes, but smirked slightly at the comment. Then, a moment later, she was being pulled down for a kiss on her lips. Daphne didn't refuse it, but she was never the one to initiate. Sometimes she wondered if he noticed, but Pete never brought it up. Even now, he smiled up at her with a wide, dopey looking grin.
I didn't make a mistake, she told herself silently. This is what's right.
Pete reached his hand up to touch Daphne's stomach and rub it carefully. There wasn't much of a bump there yet, but there would be soon. It was times like this—especially right now—where she genuinely wondered if this was all a mistake. This? This wasn't the life she wanted, or even expected. A world without her family, without much of a world at all, where she worked all day every day just to get by wasn't one she wanted to be in. Why the heck had she gone to North Dakota of all places? Why didn't she just listen to Candle Light and follow Steven and Liana?
If Equestria was real, she wouldn’t have a body that would get pregnant and give birth.
“Are you okay, Daffie?” Pete asked carefully as she flopped onto her side and curled up in bed again. He rubbed her shoulder gently as tears began to stream down her cheeks. All she'd done since her father got cancer was make bad decisions. And even worse; she knew if her dad showed up, right here, right now, and gave her a do-over, or offered to take her to Equestria, she'd still make the wrong choices.
“Hey, hey,” Pete said quietly, a reassuring tone in his voice. “It'll be fine. I know things are bad right now, but it won't be forever. Pretty soon, we'll have our own little family, and things will be better. Doesn't that sound nice?”
This wasn't how she wanted it. She wanted her family. Her dad most of all.
“Yeah,” she lied, voice cracking as she wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. “I hope so. Thank you.”
Pete smiled again. “We just need to be careful. Like staying away from those vans and stuff and making sure we're not being listened in on through computers. But we'll get through it. Humanity will get back to where it was before.”
No it wouldn't. Even Daphne knew that by this point. Humanity was too far gone. There was almost no one left—even if almost no one still meant a few dozen million people in America. And it was still dwindling. Even here in Williston, someone made their way over to the vans that drove by and uploaded. It happened at least once a day, now that the Experience Centers were gone.
No, this was only going to end in extinction. Whether it would happen next year or next century, Daphne didn't know, but it would happen. Celestia won the second they allowed people to upload. Or maybe even before then.
Daphne smiled sadly, and lied again. “Yeah, we'll get through it.” She didn't believe it, just like she didn't believe in Equestria.
She has no more outbursts after that. Pete fell back to sleep, and Daphne headed out the door by the time six o'clock rolled around. She touched her stomach gingerly, and sighed. No, she didn't want this. She didn't want any of this at all.
How long had it been by now? Two years since she left Arizona? Three? She didn't know, but it felt like forever ago. She barely even knew Pete, and went to him anyway. But then where else was she supposed to go? She had no living relatives, and all her friends were gone, too. She couldn't stand the thought of being alone, and Pete seemed like the type that would make sure she wasn't.
And just like always, she was too passive. She basically let him walk right up and put himself into a relationship with her. She never really said no, even if she wasn’t really happy with it. Not that Pete wasn’t nice enough, but still. Maybe part of it was PTSD, and needing someone, anyone in her life to stay with her.
Maybe her father would come back and try to convince her again to emigrate. Maybe she'd listen this time.
Probably not though, on both counts. That was nothing but a stupid fairy tale. Daphne was way too old for those anymore, no matter how bad she wanted them to be real. Pete was better than nothing anyway.
Work was just as boring and tiresome as usual, this one spent inspecting equipment with nothing to load or unload for now. Her clothes were always dirty and greasy and stunk at the end of the day, and there wasn't much talking she did with other people on the job. It was only a means to an end in this case, and she wouldn't be able to do it in a few months anyway. Then Pete would work every day in her place while she took care of an infant. What a life.
What would she do in a place like Equestria? She didn't know, and never would. Not live like this though. Or maybe she would, since she couldn't make one correct decision to save her life. Or anyone else's for that matter.
Another boring, tiring day passed by before six thirty in the evening rolled around and Daphne trudged back home through the cold. Pete wouldn't be back for a couple of hours, so she spent the time using precious water for a second shower and their allowance of oil to heat the house to a more comfortable temperature. Then she flopped onto her back on the bed to stare up at the ceiling with a listless expression. It wasn't like there was anything to do besides read books she already read several times before, what with the ban on most forms of technology. There was a TV and VCR with old movies, a GameCube with multiplayer games and no one to play them with, and largely nothing else. Things that could access the internet were highly regulated. Not illegal, but an interview and a counseling session or three would follow if you were caught with something. You'd probably be shunned and talked about behind your back, too.
Pete came home around nine o'clock at night and asked her about her day while discussing his, like he always did. Then an hour or two later, they retired for the night, with Daphne facing away from him and towards the door in bed, like she was expecting someone to walk through at any moment. Someone who would finally get it through to her that this wasn't what she should be doing and that she needed to take the leap, even if it was a scary one. Or better yet, to say that they didn't care whether she believed or not, that they were telling her to do it whether they liked it or not. Hopefully before too long passed, and things just became harder for her, like they always seemed to do.
No one ever did though. Instead, Pete wrapped his arms around her and affirmed his love as she drifted off to sleep. Maybe tomorrow she'd feel like what she chose was correct.
Candle Light always worried about Night Watcher, but that didn’t mean she stopped living in her absence.
The end of the party was a letdown though, enough so that both she and her wife cried after it ended and the morning came with the pony still being absent. It didn’t last for too long though; Candle Light of course remembered what Celestia told her. The way she said it and told her to put her concerns away, the princess seemed sure that Night Watcher would emigrate at some point. The only question was when. That would be up to Candle Light to figure out, with the help of some of her friends, of course.
Not right away though, or anytime soon. It took her decades already to think of the idea of finding Night Watcher in the real world on her own. It might take decades longer to come up with something else. She had a feeling the same thing wouldn’t work this time if it didn’t work last time. Not unless she could come up with a unique angle to take with her daughter.
She had no idea, but she’d figure it out. Celestia seemed sure of that, and Candle Light trusted her.
She also had all the time in the world, and so focused on the two kids who just showed up to Equestria for now. It was so nice to see their faces still filled with wonder and awe when she woke up Silver Light and Sweeping Skies the next morning. They had slight looks of disbelief mixed with excitement that made all three of Candle Light, Crystal Clear, and Warm Spell laugh. She cooked breakfast for them before lighting her horn to teleport them to the beach she went to every morning, and asked what they were thinking as they walked along the sand with her.
“Obviously you two need to finish school,” she said, “but also, I think you should live in Summer's Edge for a few years either way, until you're comfortable enough to live in your own shards.”
Silver Light laughed at that. “Yeah, Dad… err, Mom, that was the plan,” he said. “But I don't really see why we'd have to go to school. You don't even have a job, last I checked.”
“And wouldn't Celestia just give us free money anyway?” Sweeping Skies asked.
Now Candle Light giggled. “You don't have to if you don't want to, but I'm pretty sure you'll like it. You can learn about basically whatever you want, after all. But if you did want a job, the places in Summer's Edge require actually knowing what you're doing.” Then she shrugged, and said, “Or you could just ask Celestia to give you the knowledge automatically, but how satisfying would that be?”
“I guess not very,” Silver admitted before glancing behind himself to his wings. “Maybe after I figure out how to fly and meet people and talk to my friends though.”
“Yeah, me too,” Sky nodded in agreement. “A lot of my friends from school emigrated a while ago, after they started banning PonyPads, and I wanna see them again first. Hey, do you think there's a way to find out where they're at?”
“And, uh, will it have been a whole lot longer for them than it was for us?” Silver asked, slightly nervously. Candle Light giggled again. She enjoyed their naivety.
“I'm sure it won't have been if you don't want it to have been,” she said. “And you can just ask Princess Celestia to see them if you're not sure where in Equestria they're at.”
“Or there's also a place in Canterlot you can go to to meet ponies,” Crystal Clear brought up. “Warm Spell showed me. Anypony that's registered will show up in the system, and most ponies who visit Canterlot sign up.”
Warm Spell laughed too. “And most ponies visit Canterlot at least once in their lives. Ma practically lives there with Rising Ranks sometimes, she goes so often.”
“Like you don't like visiting the college there, too, Spelly?”
“Also, can I say that it's very weird to see you so much older than us?” Silver Light brought up. “Like, it was a little weird playing Equestria Online, but it's super weird in… real life, I guess?”
Warm Spell only stuck her tongue out at that. “I guess you should've listened to Ma and uploaded sooner, then,” she told them.
“She's got you there,” Candle Light agreed. “But it's okay, because you're both here now.”
Candle Light noticed the entire group avoided mentioning who wasn't there.
They continued on into the town, with Candle Light showing them around, as though they hadn't been here before. She tried to act as their guide, with the help of her wife and daughter, and answered most of the questions they had. She didn't get too deep into just how limitless Equestria was yet though; she didn't want to overwhelm them with all the possibilities, knowing they'd figure it all out for themselves soon enough.
There was an interesting one though that Sweeping Skies asked, one that Candle Light asked herself a few times before. “How long are we gonna live here? I mean, in Equestria? How long are our lives?”
She was sure there was a bunch of smart ponies at the university in Canterlot that could give an exact answer to that question; it wasn't one Candle Light herself sought out to learn just yet. But just knowing what she knew about Equestria, she knew how to answer.
“As long as you want,” she told her foals with a soft smile, “and much longer than you think you have. You don't need to worry about how long there is to live.” It was probably longer than Candle Light even imagined was possible.
So long, that even if Night Watcher took another fifty years in Outer Realm time to get to Equestria– however long that was in Summer’s Edge’s time– she wouldn't have missed a thing. It was only a matter of her finally showing up. Candle Light needed to work on that for her.
But not today. Today, she spent her time with her children, just like she did the day after that, and the year after that, too. Just like with her wife, they took time to get used to all the changes that Equestria brought, both big and small. Part of that was Sweeping Skies’s decision to live in her own shard, and Silver Light’s decision to, interestingly enough, live with Candle Light as a young teenager again. She had a feeling why that was his decision, given how old he was at her cancer diagnosis. It seemed like his plan was to set back the clock by a few years and experience it again. Candle Light thought it was adorable.
It was something she thought about doing herself once or twice, but decided it wasn't the right time yet. She had all the time in the world to do that again whenever she wanted to, all the time in the world to set back the clock to when she got her cancer diagnosis and raise her children again. Things like that could wait for her.
At the same time, she spent more time with Rising Ranks, eventually becoming engaged to the stallion. She was the one who proposed to him, and offered to let him live in her home with him, something Crystal Clear didn't mind. Her wife was spending a little more time away from home than before, sometimes a few weeks at a time, with a different stallion she met. It only meant that some nights Candle Light would be in one of the guest rooms with Rising Ranks instead. Or some nights they'd all be together in the main bedroom. That was fun.
In the meantime though, Candle Light found herself very interested in brain structure, and read books about it for hours sometimes. How the neurons interacted with Equestria when a pony was uploaded, what kind of limits there were to uploading; there was some interesting stuff in here. She didn't have all the details just yet– she wouldn't for a long time, maybe decades– but it seemed like there was probably a way to upload somepony upon body death. She'd need to speak to Celestia about that.
But not right now. Not until she got more information. Right then, she visited Careful Calling and Soft Step for a little get together on the beach, something they'd recently been coming to do once a month or so. They swam in the water– well, Candle Light did mostly– and ate food for a picnic and talked about their friends and new things they were doing and everything else under the sun.
“Apparently Agile and Stellar are gonna get married soon,” Careful Calling said as she turned to her marefriend. “When are you gonna marry me, Soft?”
Candle Light giggled at Soft Step’s little blush as she stammered, “I, uh, I don't know. M-maybe some day?”
“It sounds like it's gonna be someday soon,” Candle commented. “Who's bridesmaid do I get to be?”
“You'd get to be mine, and Misty can be the flower girl, since she plants the best roses of anypony I know.” Careful Calling told her. Then she smirked and said, “I think Soft Step would probably choose Agile as her bridesmaid, since she still likes her, and pick Bright Sky, too, to cover it up.”
“I don't like her anymore! Not like that!” Soft Step protested, her face bright red now as Candle Light and her friends laughed softly. “She’s also not poly anyway. Not that that would change anything.”
“Oh, I'm suuurre it wouldn't,” Candle Light teased.
“Maybe she'll change on that in the future?” Misty Rose said. “I don't know that pony, but I do know most ponies like to form herds, at least, the Equestrian born ones do. Maybe ponies from the Outer Realm are different.”
“Yeah, I doubt Agile would change,” Careful Calling shook her head, then wrapped her hooves around Soft Step. “Guess you're just stuck with me.”
“So when are you gonna propose to her?” Candle Light asked. “I proposed to my wife on a beach in California, and to my fiance a few months ago on this beach. You could make it nice and romantic.”
It was funny how Soft Step was trying to hide her embarrassed smile. “I don't know!” she got out. “There's a lot of stuff we need to do first! Things to see, places to visit!”
“We don't have to settle down just because we're married,” Careful told her with a genuine smile. “What do you wanna do that makes you think you have to?”
“Well, have foals of my own for starters,” she said bashfully, a feeling Candle Light knew well herself these days. “Being pregnant would be nice… and maybe see some new exotic places? Sparky and Frame travel all the time. And open a flower shop with Misty like we've been talking about, and go to university like Candle Light, and become a chess grandmaster, and find a shard I can play Mario Kart Wii in, and a whole bunch of things!”
“Hehe, those aren't things you need to settle down to do,” Careful Calling laughed. “Candle is married and has foals, and does some of those things right now.”
“We could go to college together, in fact, all of us!” Candle Light added. “I heard earth ponies have ambient magic that Misty could learn about if she wanted, and you'd get a lot of business for a shop with her in Canterlot! It would be fun!”
Soft Step seemed unable to argue with that. “M… maybe I'll have to propose to you soon then,” she said quietly, happily.
Candle Light was happy, too. This was nice, a nice feeling she never really thought about much before. Being a wife and a mother and a potential bridesmaid to her friends, doing makeup with her daughter, being pregnant with a foal once Night Watcher got to Equestria; it all seemed so nice. A little like her heart was beating with excitement just thinking about it. She'd been missing this for so much of her life before, almost as much as she missed her kids now.
“Not yet though,” Candle Light continued. “About university in Canterlot I mean. I wanna let my son grow up again for a few more years before that. Maybe sometime down the line.” Years were nothing in Equestria, yet every day was still so long and full of experiences.
“Well, if you're gonna be a bridesmaid at my wedding, then Careful, Misty and I are gonna be bridesmaids at yours,” Soft Step decided. “Those are the rules.”
It was rules that Candle Light abided by. She and Rising Ranks married about a year later, with Crystal Clear as the maid of honor, of course. Her wife held her close while Candle Light cried as she got her all dressed up in the most beautiful white dress she'd ever seen. And then before she knew it, she was walking down the aisle– she didn't know they had churches in Summer's Edge, these ones dedicated to people who wanted to worship Celestia– and kissed Rising Ranks like it was her first time doing so again. It was so perfect, minus the absence of one pony who she wished was there.
Her children grew up, just like they always seemed to do, Warm Spell taking her status as the oldest in stride. She helped Candle Light to show the two pegasi the different things they could do in Equestria, from communicating their desires to Celestia by just thinking about it to all the different places they could visit and go to if they wanted. Despite what Candle Light thought, it was Sweeping Skies who was more interested in those things, like Warm Spell was. Silver Light seemed to project an attitude of being ‘too cool’ for things like that, instead spending his time hopping between Summer's Edge and his mansion in the clouds. He didn't even seem to mind the idea of technically being the youngest now.
He wouldn't be the youngest forever though, if Night Watcher took a while longer to get here.
Sweeping Skies aged normally, although Silver Light seemed to go more slowly, barely looking a year older over the next five. It didn't change much; Candle Light still used the next few years to spend as much time with her children as possible. She might not have been the biggest adventure fan– something that was sure to change if she asked Celestia to make her just a few years younger– but the excitement of exploring new places and seeing sights and doing thrilling things was something to be had. How many other ways were there for her to live, besides perfect normalcy? She didn’t know, but she knew how many different possibilities there were once every day things got stale. A life as a private investigator or a doctor, as a witch in a fantasy world, a shard where each detail was part of a larger story, like one of the computer games she played in the 1990s; maybe even an existence that she couldn’t comprehend yet? She knew the things she could do was an uncountable amount. Maybe someday she’d be able to count them.
But something that would never, ever get stale was learning. She might not have been terribly interested in it when she lived in the Outer Realm, but it was definitely her favorite pastime activity for the last… going on thirty years now? Probably more than that. She was definitely losing track as she spent many days cuddled up in bed, reading with Rising Ranks or visiting Canterlot for a presentation. Once Silver Light was older again, she'd be heading back to Canterlot for more classes. She still has interests in the Outer Realm to take care of.
Her son might have been a teenager, but it was a good twenty years before the pegasus grew up enough to live on his own in his shard. Candle Light didn't mind one bit. She had all the time in the world to put her focus back on Night Watcher. And focus she did. She took courses under Celestia herself about Outer Realm maintenance and affairs, along with Rising Ranks, and lived in Canterlot for months at a time. All of her focus was on Night Watcher now. She was going to get Daphne in here, no matter what it took.
Candle Light hadn't received much news, if any, about the Outer Realm in the couple of decades her other children uploaded, and so it was interesting to hear, if not a bit jarring. It turned out that her children weren't the only ones who emigrated recently. There was almost no one left living on Earth– relatively speaking anyway. Granted, eight hundred million was still a huge number, and tens of millions still lived in the United States, but the United States had over three hundred million people just a few years ago. The world was heading into the next decade with barely ten percent of the people it originally held.
Hopefully that number would shrink by at least one more person.
Or two? Maybe three total. It wasn't as difficult as she expected to get a good look at Daphne, with the control Celestia had. She was living in North Dakota now with some guy, near an oil field that was currently being hailed upon by an intense thunderstorm. She had to be outside to work closely with the guy, and was taking shelter under a metal awning at his discretion with him. She looked pregnant, probably closer to her due date than she was from conception, and allowed the guy to wrap his arms around her and touch her stomach, even if she looked a little uncomfortable. Interesting.
“What are you thinking, Candle Light?” Celestia asked as she settled a wing onto the mare's back. It wasn't just the two of them in the room, but it sure felt like it right now as she looked down at her child. She was still out there, still not safe yet.
Candle Light didn't need to answer, but she did anyway. “Would she be able to upload if she was pregnant? Probably not if she wanted to keep her baby, right?”
“It would be more complex, but doable,” the large alicorn answered. “I don't believe she would allow such a thing however, no matter how much she knows her current situation hurts her.”
Candle Light nodded sadly, and sniffled back tears, but didn't cry. “I think I know how to get through to her,” she said, “but I don't know how to put the whole idea together in a presentable way she'd like. Do you know what I mean?”
“I understand perfectly. Any failsafe would require what you're thinking, and I think that would push her away.”
“And it makes sense why,” Candle Light agreed, but didn't comment further. Instead, she stared silently down at Daphne, watching her finally push away from the guy to go back into the hailstorm without protection. She hoped she would be safe in the meantime, but Candle Light just didn't know.
She finally turned back to look into Celestia’s eyes. She didn't have to even ask her question, and didn't want to. She just wanted to know.
“I think the injection is a great idea,” she said softly, “one that will greatly increase the amount of ponies who emigrate to Equestria, bringing satisfaction to those who might otherwise never receive it. In regards to Night Watcher though, it's a bit more complex. She is dealing with immense pain, and won't be cajoled into emigrating, even through an injection. You will have to firmly assert that she must do this. She needs somepony to take charge of her.”
Candle Light nodded again, definitely crying now. “I'll be that,” she said tearfully, before wiping them away. It wasn't a stellar plan, but it might work. It had to work. She was sure she wasn't going to get a third chance to try to get through to her.
It was just another day in a life for Daphne when she finally saw Candle Light again. She'd been expecting the mare to show herself again at some point, but didn't think it'd take so long.
The skies in North Dakota were a little more blue than they used to be, the grass more green here than in Arizona, what with almost no one left on Earth, but it didn't seem worth anything. This wasn't where she was meant to be, not at all. Not here working in an oil field where the weather could get worse than her hometown, engaged to someone she didn't really have an interest in, getting into the late stages of pregnancy. Sure, it wasn't like it was the worst situation ever; Pete was a nice guy, and if she had to take time off of work, she'd be accommodated. But still, Daphne couldn't help but sigh sadly and wish things were different.
Why was the only other option one she didn't believe in, no matter how hard she tried or how much she wanted to?
The day that Candle Light came by was a warm one in mid summer. It was just under ninety degrees, not a cloud in the sky as Daphne stayed home alone for the start of maternity leave. She was still a month away from her due date, but figured if she could, she might as well rest. Not that there was much for her to do at home compared to work. Nothing but the same old games and books to pass time in between thinking about how screwed up everything was, how much things would change for her soon, and watching another one of Celestia’s vans drive past the outskirts of the city, near where her apartment with Pete sat.
Except this one stopped in her view a few hundred yards away, and opened its doors to show a technological looking inside view. Advanced wiring and medical gear sat inside, along with a couple of seats that almost certainly served the purpose Daphne thought. It didn’t really seem that bad though; it looked like there was a television with some show on and a couple of kind looking nurses waiting patiently for whoever was going to be picked up.
Except no one was picked up. One of the nurses grabbed a device that looked like a drone, carefully tossed it into the air, then promptly shut the door for the van to continue on. The drone didn’t fall to the ground though, instead floating lazily in the area it was thrown before making its slow way to… somewhere.
Her apartment she realized after a few minutes of it drifting slowly towards her, the sun reflecting off of the bright red metal it was constructed from. It made its way to her window, the thing gently bumping into the glass as though asking her to open it up and let it inside. Daphne wanted to go to a different room and pretend she didn't see it, and actually considered doing so. Instead though, she sighed and brought the thing into her home, carefully setting it on a table. She somehow knew that if she didn't, Equestria was just going to find another way to contact her.
Why was her heart pounding so hard? There wasn’t anything left that could be taken away from her. Her family was gone, Pete was staunchly against uploading, and her baby hadn’t even been born yet.
Daphne turned around and crossed her arms, so her sad expression couldn't be seen. “Why do you want to talk to me?” she asked, before she even heard anything happen. It wasn't like it mattered. She was sure she could be heard if Candle Light knew where she lived.
Why am I giving her the benefit of the doubt, the opportunity at all? Daphne wondered silently. She knew why.
There wasn't an immediate response; it took a few seconds before she saw the light show started and a few mechanical noises sounded, the thing doing whatever it needed to get flying into the air again, projecting the pink pony in front of her. The mare looked the same as always. She had bright emerald eyes behind brown glasses, and a mane of periwinkle and lavender and light blue that twisted and curled around her ears and neck, along with a youthful sort of expression on her face, nothing like a child would expect of their parent. Perhaps the only difference in what Daphne saw now was that she wasn't happy or excited like she'd come to know, either before she was a pony or after. Her smile was more sad, her gaze a little more soft than it was intense. Not necessarily sympathetic though– empathetic.
“Because I care about you,” was the obvious reply, soft and gentle, just as gentle as her father always was. And sincere, she thought. Was Daphne already tearing up? She kept her arms crossed as she glanced away.
“Is it okay if I talk to you, Daffie?” Candle Light asked. Daphne could see out of the corners of her eyes the mare’s gaze fall onto her stomach before pointing back up at her face. “How are you doing, honey?” she asked carefully. “Are you being safe?’
“As safe as I can be.” Daphne flinched at her voice crack, and sniffed. Of course, this was already getting to her. “You probably already know that though, and everything else,” she added quietly. “Since you're here and all.”
“Well, what I mean is, are you doing okay?”
Daphne turned back to see Candle Light’s big, wide, innocent looking eyes shift back into sadness as she tilted her head slightly. Just the expression on her own face gave Daphne away. How the hell could she be?
“Honey…” Candle Light trailed off in a pained voice.
“What am I supposed to do though?” Daphne was already on the defensive, her voice raising. “I can’t– I can’t just trust Celestia! That’s too risky! So what am I supposed to do but be here and…”
And falter, and wonder, and feel awful and regretful. It was all so silly. She knew what she was supposed to do. She knew that since just before Olivia uploaded. And yet, here she was in stupid North Dakota, wasting her life away.
And Candle Light wasn’t helping. Seeing the mare just hurt too much, enough that Daphne had to turn away again and shut her eyes tightly. Why was this all happening? Why couldn't she just understand it like everyone else?
“Nighty?” Candle Light got out. “I know it's hard, but we need to talk about this. Please?” Daphne kept her eyes shut tight as she quickly shook her head. She hoped she would just go away and leave her to die without ever getting it. It wasn’t like talking had done any good before, as much as she wanted it to.
“Nighty, please…”
“You should just stop trying,” Daphne's voice cracked again. “Just give up on me.” Her lip trembled, and she had to hold back her tears. She really, desperately wanted the moment to come along when it would finally click for her. But she knew it never would. Maybe she just didn’t deserve to be happy at all.
Then she heard him.
“Daphne, will you please talk to me?”
Her ears flicked as they registered the sound, and Daphne’s eyes opened wide again with a gasp. She didn't turn around yet though. There was no way what she heard was real. She hadn't heard that voice in years.
“I need you to turn around and talk to me, Daffie,” he said. “It's important to me.”
Her body moved slowly, and when she was fully turned around again, her eyes betrayed her. What she was seeing wasn't real. And yet there he was in front of her, exactly as she remembered. Not just as she remembered, but the way he looked before his cancer diagnosis. He was overweight and hairy with light skin that was the opposite of her mother's, making Daphne’s the tannish brown it always was. He wasn't particularly tall, but he was definitely a few inches taller than her, and probably the tallest one in their family, even at only a modest five foot nine. He had a little stubble on his roundish face that sat below short, dirty blonde hair, and glasses that were almost a carbon copy of the ones Candle Light wore. And behind those glasses were the eyes that were, instead of an unfamiliar emerald green, the icy blue Daphne had known all her life. Ones that pierced right through her brown ones into her soul.
This was her father.
“Dad…” she choked out, the words barely escaping her lips as she put her hands in her face. She couldn't hold back her tears anymore.
“Is that actually you?”
“I promise, it's absolutely me,” he assured her gently. “Now look at me, Daffie? Honey?” She made sure her red eyes were pushed into his blue ones as he told her, “You have to do this.”
“D-dad, I–”
“No, sweetie, it's not a question anymore,” he continued. “I'm your parent, and know what's best for you. I'm telling you that you have to make sure you emigrate. For me.”
Daphne's body was shaking as she trembled in place, wanting to turn away but unable to. Finally, she took her eyes off of him and said quietly, “I don't know if I can. I don't know what's wrong with me.”
“You can,” her father said, softly but assuredly. “And you will. I know you will, because you have to. Let me show you something I've been working on.”
He walked through her apartment, Daphne's gaze trained on him as the drone turned and projected his image wherever he wanted to go, a steady hum coming from the thing. She didn't know what to expect, but prepared for anything. The girl has few thoughts about what it could be.
On the table were three plain looking syringes; a bit larger than usual, and with a longer needle than the ones that came in vaccinations, but still normal enough. Her father couldn't pick it up, of course. He was just a projection. But he was able to beckon Daphne closer with a finger.
“Rising Ranks and I have been working on this for you,” he said, a little bit of excitement in his voice. It was strange. His old voice was there, but his mannerisms were just a little different than they were when she last saw her father in person. They were more like Candle Light's now, from what Daphne heard, with a slightly upbeat quality she'd expect of a young adult. But then that was who he'd been for how many years he said?
“Remember when I asked you if you'd be okay if I had a way to emigrate you without it being immediate?” he asked. “I know you said no, but this is what I worked on anyway! You can use this to emigrate automatically if something were to happen to you! That way, you can live on Earth for however long you want, and if there was an accident, you'd be safe in Equestria when you woke up!”
Daphne blinked, but didn't argue, as uncomfortable as she was by this. Was she still crying? She wiped her eyes, sniffed, and asked, “Why are there three of them?”
“Two of them would be for you and your foal,” he explained, “and the third would be for that guy that you're with.”
That made sense. Daphne didn't even bother asking how he knew about Pete; he knew where she lived. Obviously he'd been watching over her. The thought of a guardian angel popped into her mind.
Except her breathing was picking up again. She wanted to say no, to refuse him, although didn't have a reason why. She never had a reason why. Was she just traumatized? She didn't know. She felt dizzy, and reached out to grab her father's wrist to hold onto, but her hand passed through him, and she fell to her knees.
“I don't want that,” she told him quietly, shakily, brushing herself off as she pushed herself back up. “I already—”
“I know you told me that before, honey,” Daphne's father interrupted, “but I'm not asking anymore. I'm telling you: you have to trust me and do this. If I have to build a robot and visit you in pony and inject it myself, I will, because it's that serious! You can't push it forever! It's too risky!”
He was getting worked up now, Daphne could tell that by his raising voice and his own tears forming. It threatened to bring some of Daphne’s back, but she pushed them down as her father continued.
“I just want you to be safe, Daffie,” he told her, more quietly now. “We all do. Spelly and Sky and Silver and your mother—I just want you to be safe so badly, Daffie.” He was whispering now as he wiped his eyes and said, “You were coming along before, slowly, but then Spelly got here and… I don't know what happened. You just shut off after that!”
His lip was trembling, just like Daphne forced herself not to do. Seeing him here as a human was hitting her harder than seeing him show up as a pony. She was much closer to believing him now than she was just talking to him through a screen. It felt like a slap in the face, almost knocking some sense into her.
“And you'd be my mother if I was there?” she asked carefully.
“I’d love to be, if you'd let me,” was the tearful reply. “And a grandma, too. But I'd change into a stallion if it got you here.” He looked away briefly, and added, “Not forever, but until you got used to it, Nighty. Unless that was what you absolutely wanted. It would hurt, but… you'd be safe…”
Why that was what was getting to her, Daphne pretended not to know. But only pretend. Of course, it was really him, but the real thing or just a very good copy, that he was willing to change back just to get her to upload…
“Wh…” She closed her eyes, let out a long breath, and asked, “Where would I inject it? And what would happen after? It's… it's not gonna work immediately, right? And what would happen with…” Daphne glanced down at her stomach, then back up into her father's eyes.
He let out a long breath of his own and explained, “In the back of your neck. You push until you hear a click, and that's it. And while you're pregnant, if you were hurt, it would work on your foal, too. Once it's born though, you'd need to do the same thing with your foal.”
“And it won't upload me immediately?” she asked. “You promise?”
“It won't emigrate you immediately, I promise,” he said kindly, flashing a small, gentle smile that she'd known her whole life. It was one Daphne even saw in Candle Light before. It made her feel a little more secure.
“I do want you to know though,” he continued, “it works by scanning your brain and uploading that immediately, because if you got shot in the head for example, you'd need to be uploaded to be successfully brought to Equestria. But it won't emigrate you unless you were about to die. You'll be uploaded, but technically living in the Outer Realm as a human until you were ready to go to Equestria or died.”
Of course it would upload her immediately. Daphne couldn't be surprised by that.
But he was being honest and upfront with her, and what he said made sense. And he was ready to change back to a stallion if it meant she would upload. If he was just a copy, would that not be basically the same as being her real father? Daphne didn't know.
She felt goosebumps on her skin, and her breathing picked up once again. It all made so much sense, and yet she was still conflicted, and wanted to say no. How many other people had an option like this, had someone who was doing all they could for them, who was nothing but honest about everything? No one, and yet she still wanted to say no, bad enough that she was shaking. What in the world was wrong with her? Why was she so afraid?
“Nighty?” Candle Light asked quietly, unsure. Nighty was a good nickname. It'd be so much nicer being Night Watcher the bat pony, who lived with her family again, than it would be to be Daphne the human, living with Pete and a baby she didn't really want.
“I'll think about it,” Daphne told him finally, after forever had passed. It was the best she could offer right now. It was better than anything she'd given before.
Daphne thought about it. And she didn’t know what to think. Or maybe, she didn’t know why she thought what she did.
Was she really supposed to just go against her natural instinct to throw out the syringes her father left on the table? But she had no good reason to do that. She wouldn't have had a good reason years ago when this started. Oh, but she wanted to.
She forced herself not to though. Whether really her father or not—of course it was her father—Candle Light was going above and beyond to try and make her comfortable, to get her to agree, to make sure that she was fully informed of what would happen. She couldn't throw away what might legitimately have been her last chance at being convinced.
But she didn't inject herself. Instead, she carefully tucked the syringes into a hoodie pocket. It wasn't one hundred percent safety, but safe enough, she figured. Carrying them around would accomplish the same thing as using them, but without the commitment.
She sat down to put her head on her hands. Why am I acting like this? she asked herself silently. She was definitely traumatized by all of this. Everything her father said was right. She was coming along before Olivia died; or maybe it started with her father dying instead. Seventeen was too young to lose a father. How many years ago was that now? It still hurt today.
But the days went by, Daphne spending the next few weeks at home before the birth of her child. A girl, one she named Aurora. She wasn't entirely sure why; maybe the idea of Equestria was finally starting to get into her head after her father talked to her, and she wanted a nice name for her baby, just in case. She didn't tell that to Pete though. Daphne barely told him anything anyway.
But he was nice and kind as always. He stayed home with her on paternity leave for a month or so, helping Daphne through the new routine of taking care of Aurora. He talked to her, and held her close and told her it would be okay, even if she didn't really feel it. It might not have been a situation Daphne desired to be in, or would ever choose, but Pete did his best. He was there for her. He didn't leave her, like Steven and Liana and her mother did. He had that going for him.
Her father didn't ever leave her either, did he? She didn't know all the details, but she imagined she was almost always on the forefront of Candle Light’s mind.
Man, did she want to hug her tight. But she would have to settle for hugging Pete while she held Aurora.
“What are you thinking about, Daph?” Pete asked as he helped her lean into him. “You have a look.”
Daphne sighed. What else could she do? “Just everything,” she told him tiredly. Why she felt so afraid. Why she didn't deserve to be happy.
“Hey, it’ll be okay,” he told her as she closed her eyes. “Things are getting better already! We have a family, we’re safe, there’s less and less people uploading—things are looking up! We’ll get through it. Humanity will get through it.”
Yeah, right. Even Daphne knew that. This was over before anyone even knew what was happening.
She didn’t say that, of course. “I hope so,” was her more positive reply. “But do you ever think about it?” she continued. “Not uploading, but… if it was real, and there was a way to upload without dying immediately. Like, through an injection or something, like a vaccine.”
Pete smirked and shook his head, scoffing at the idea. “It’d be nice, but I wouldn’t trust it,” he told her simply. “Something like that would probably just immediately kill you anyway. And then even if Equestria was real, it probably wouldn’t even work. But it’s not real.”
Daphne nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you’re right.”
She would find out there were other deadly things besides Equestria, it turned out.
Aurora was about six months old when it happened. The day was a cold, snowy one, the white fluffy flakes piling up by the foot. Pete had gone back to work by this time, and so had Daphne, at reduced hours, opposite weeks that Pete worked. She cared for their daughter while he went out, swaddling Aurora in blankets to protect her from the cold, since they were still rationing energy. Where all the rationed energy went, she didn't know, but she did know that it was hard work oil drilling. Pete worked back to back weeks three weeks in a row because they needed extra labor. It meant that Daphne had to stay home to take care of Aurora while he worked.
It was a lucky thing that she was at home with her daughter. It would've been her shift had Pete not been covering extra hours. Instead, she witnessed the explosion from the safety of her cold, cold apartment while she fed Aurora.
She barely remembered setting Aurora down in her crib before she was at the rig, carrying one of the pens Candle Light had given her in her pocket. Daphne had made a lot of mistakes, but she wasn't going to make this one. If there was a one percent chance that this would work, she had to take it. She knew that back when her father had cancer.
Except she was being an idiot then. Now wasn't the time for that. She pushed the urge to do something else stupid down and made her way to find Pete.
If talking to Candle Light before didn't change anything, seeing Pete now did. He was injured, of course. Badly. Bad enough that Daphne knew he wasn't going to survive. In a different time, he might have. They didn't have high skilled surgeons and doctors to give him the care he would need anymore though. There was no chance.
His eyes looked glassy, but his gaze focused on her as she gasped. Her body was shaking like crazy. This wasn't like her family. Her dad had cancer, and the rest of them made a choice. This was sudden, completely out of left field, with no warning or build up. Candle Light was right. She wasn't safe here! Daphne had to keep from hyperventilating.
“What are you doing here, Daffie?” Pete asked weakly as he reached a hand up to touch her cheek. “Are you alright? Where's Rory?”
Daphne didn't answer. She couldn't. Her lips were silent, no words in her mind that she could think to speak. But her body moved, and suddenly, she was fumbling under him to get Pete on his side to reach his neck.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “What is that?”
Why? Why was she hesitating at the question? What had her father said? If there was an accident, this would work, and this was an accident. But would this work immediately? Maybe Pete wasn’t as bad off as he looked. Maybe if someone hurried, they could–
No. She couldn’t hesitate. That was idiotic thinking. She’d been stupid enough already, she wasn’t gonna keep making stupid decisions. If there was a one in a trillion chance this would work, that chance had to be taken.
But the chance might have been lost because of her idiocy once again. Pete looked into her eyes, and seemed to read what she was doing.
“Are you trying to upload me?” His voice still wasn’t very strong, but there was a sense of betrayal there as he flexed away from her painfully. “I don’t want to upload… we said we wouldn’t…” He could barely argue, but he still tried to anyway.
“That’s gonna kill me,” he tried to tell her. Isn’t that what Daphne said to her father before? Said about her father? “I don't want you to–”
“Pete, you’re dying,” she told him, turning his neck back around for her to reach. Her voice choked up. Why was she doing this? He might’ve been right; this really might just kill him. There was no way she could know. Maybe her father would’ve beaten cancer had he not gone to Japan. How could Daphne ever know?
Her hands were shaking, and her breathing was picking up, but she tried her best to push those feelings down. “Look at you,” she told him shakily, breathlessly, like it was her that was injured instead. “I need you to be safe. Everyone else I know is gone, so I need you to be safe, too, just in case. Please?” She could barely get the words out.
Why does this always happen? she asked herself silently as the shock of the moment hit her fully. It happened with everyone she knew. Everyone. Every single person she cared about, whether on purpose or by accident. Daphne didn’t even realize that she cared about Pete this much, at least not before. How much was his being around keeping her sane?
“Daffie, I don’t… want to…” His speech was slower now, his eyes less focused again. That was the problem with being around someone exactly like her. In the exact same situation, she would say no, too. Maybe it would’ve been different had Olivia not been convinced into emigrating so quickly. She really was coming around before. But then she did keep these syringes for a reason.
She wasn’t going to use it on herself though, no way.
Pete closed his eyes, and his breathing slowed. “Can you still hear me?” Daphne asked nervously.
“Yeah… I’m just resting. I feel tired.” It wasn’t a good sign. Celestia needed consent, right? Could she consent for Pete right now? Why hadn’t she talked to him about this before? What was wrong with her?
What was she even doing? She was wasting time on impossibilities. “I’m gonna go get a nurse or someone who can help you, okay?” she told him. “I’ll be right back!” Then she stood up to leave, but Pete grabbed her arm tight.
“Stay here with me,” he said firmly. He opened his eyes to glance into hers now. They were completely unfocused, barely making their way to Daphne’s. It was a miracle they opened at all before they shut again a second later. She had to find someone.
Or not.
“I can only stay here if you agree to do this. If I’m staying and it doesn’t work, nothing changes, so let me. Otherwise, I need to find a doctor for you.”
“I feel tired,” Pete told her again. There was a second of silence before he asked, “Would you do this, if it was you hurt in an accident?
“I would,” she told him quickly, probably a lie. “Now please just say you’re letting me so I can. Please. I’m begging you. You said it’d be nice before if something like this existed, and if I’m staying here, what changes?” She was crying now. She’d been doing a lot of that over the years.
He still didn’t open his eyes, and didn’t speak for a long minute. Daphne was afraid he was already falling unconscious, and almost moved to shake him awake when he spoke again. “Promise you’ll stay here with Aurora? It’s too risky to use on her.”
“I promise,” she assured him, unsure if that was the truth now. “Now let me? Please?”
He didn’t say anything anymore, but gave a little nod. Daphne inhaled a cold breath, and wasted no time in pushing the pen into the back of his neck, pushing until it clicked like Candle Light said. Then Pete opened his eyes again one more time.
“I love you, Daffie, and Rory, too.”
“We love you, too, Petey,” she replied, probably the most truthful statement she made so far. She was closer to believing her words now than ever before. “Please let it be real.”
“I never hoped it was before until now,” he told her.
He was still losing blood, and his grip on her arm eventually failed. Daphne used her freed up hand to touch his cheek while she tearfully talked to him, discussing Aurora and herself and the first time they met back in Arizona and regrets and nice times they spent together. She wanted to get up and run away, to find someone, anyone who could help, but she knew that was pointless. She knew that the second she saw him. There wasn’t going to be any coming back from this for Pete. The reality of the situation made her cry harder.
This always happened. To everyone. Daphne didn’t deserve to be happy.
Maybe it was because he was dying, but Daphne started to feel love building for him. Maybe she was just being an idiot as usual and brushing him off before. Another reason why she didn't deserve happiness.
Maybe if… then… maybe, just maybe…
Eventually, he closed his eyes again, and never opened them back up.
Daphne sobbed for the rest of the night, and held her baby close as she cried on and off for the entire next day. Aurora seemed to cry with her gently, undoubtedly not understanding why. Candle Light showed up again a few days later, as a pony this time, and they wept together for a while. Then the mare explained to her that she hadn’t noticed him in Equestria, but she wouldn't know what he looked like and several ponies moved to Summer's Edge and she would ask Celestia about it later. She of course highlighted that she was certain Pete was there, offering that she was the one who came up with the syringes she used. Then the conversation moved to Aurora.
“I can't believe I get to be a grandma,” Candle Light smiled brightly again. “Your brother and little sister are single, and your other little sister doesn't like foals. This is amazing.” She danced around happily, and Daphne couldn't help but smile again, too. Always so upbeat, she was. Maybe it'd be nice to actually hug her after.
But that probably wouldn't ever happen.
“Did you ever vaccinate her?” Candle Light asked. “Both ways, I mean. She could get seriously hurt without them. I wouldn’t want her to miss being in Equestria if something happened.” She looked like she wanted to pick Aurora up, but of course couldn’t, being just a holograph.
“I know. I probably will soon,” Daphne told her, her voice still just as choked and cracked as it was when she was talking to Pete. Her hands never stopped shaking, her heart still beating at a million miles an hour. Why was real life like this? It was going to happen to Aurora next, and she knew it. It happened to everyone else in her life.
“Are you okay, Nighty?” Candle Light asked as she turned back to her, echoing concern in her voice. Daphne rolled her neck and tried to shake the tension loose from her limbs.
Her nerves were completely fried, but she might have had something there right now, while Candle Light was here and she worried about Aurora. Would she have the same nerve later, when the inevitable came? It was going to come; it always did, stealing away everyone she cared about.
And she sort of had an ace in the hole right now anyway—herself.
“I’m fine,” she said as she took out the second syringe and picked up Aurora again. Before she could think about it for too long, Daphne stole herself and carefully pressed the needle into the back of her baby’s neck. She made a choked noise that sounded like she was about to start crying, but Daphne carefully shushed her and kissed her forehead. A second later, the syringe was back out and being tossed into the trash.
Candle Light breathed a loud sigh of relief, and looked like any tension she might have had before melted away. “Oh, thank you, Nighty,” she said gratefully. “I’m so glad you’ll be here with us, and Aurora, too.” She smiled brightly, and told her, “I know you’ll both like it here. It might be a few decades before either of you see it, but I’m sure you’ll love it. I can’t wait to hug you for real.”
Daphne couldn’t help but suppress a small smile at that idea. Not that she was going to use the last syringe on herself, not yet. If Candle Light was insistent about it not taking effect immediately, then Daphne could hold herself hostage in case something happened to Aurora. Not that it would’ve entirely mattered either way around. If Daphne used it on herself and not Aurora, they both would be dead either way without the other.
Or maybe she was just being self centered and stupid again and doing all she could to avoid Equestria. She didn’t even know why she was at this point. Her father had done everything he could every single step of the way, never abandoning her, even for a second. She trusted him more than anyone else.
Daphne didn’t even need to hold herself hostage. Just like Candle Light said, nothing seemed to happen with Aurora over the next few minutes, or the following hours, days, and weeks. Daphne still didn’t use it on herself though; there was no guarantee this was a trick to lull her into a false sense of security and get her to take the bait. She should have—she knew that in her heart of hearts. If something happened to her like happened to Pete, she would be dead, guaranteed, and then if Equestria was real, Aurora would be alone. It made Daphne cry just to think about.
Candle Light explained to her that if something did happen to Daphne, the mare could step in and have Celestia emigrate Aurora immediately, a thought that made the girl nervous. Could Candle Light just say that at any time? She didn’t know, but the mare never did. Just as always, her father was nothing but fully caring and kind and always respected Daphne’s wishes.
The mare did start to come by more often, showing off an advanced robot that she could use as a stand in for actually being back on Earth. It was needed, because Daphne was now a single mother who had to work to provide for her daughter. Candle Light came by a few times a week to play with Aurora and take care of her. As a pony, of course.
It was… nice. A nice change of pace to being alone and stressing out and worrying about everything. Candle Light told Daphne about what was going on in her life—about her new husband and Daphne’s other mother and Warm Spell and Sweeping Skies and Silver Light. From the sounds of it, they were all having the time of their lives. Her mother had aged to be about sixty years old, and Sweeping Skies was close to being in her fifties and running a corporate office in her shard. Warm Spell stopped aging around her late twenties and adventured around Equestria, while Silver Light flatly refused to move past eighteen years old. He was like Candle Light, she heard; they both relaxed and took it easy and did nothing all day. It sounded a lot like how Daphne would enjoy spending her time.
And yet here she was, actively risking it by refusing to inject herself, too. She would make Candle Light cry if something happened to her. Daphne kept herself up some nights worrying about it.
It was a particularly nice day when her worries finally came true. It was raining outside, nice and gentle, the water droplets tapping rhythmically against the window when Candle Light showed up to watch Aurora. Her daughter, as usual, cheered at the mare’s arrival, then ran up to hug Daphne tightly as she got dressed for another day on the job. She was getting bigger now, ready to turn four years old next month.
“I love you,” she told her as Candle Light laughed softly at the scene. “When you come back, Nonny?” ‘Nonny’ was Aurora’s term for Daphne, a stand-in for either ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy’.
“Later tonight, sweetie,” she told her daughter as she put on a poncho before picking the toddler up and kissing her cheek. “Love you lots. Make sure you have fun with Grandma, okay?”
“Okay, Nonny! I will!” the girl assured her with a bright smile and an eager nod. Then Daphne moved to hug Candle Light and give her an assurance of love, too, before heading out to the rig. This little life she had was… not bad, all things considered. Almost nice, even. It would’ve been even better with Pete still around—she wished she would’ve appreciated him more before everything that happened—but it was still good, spending time with her small family. She might even have begun to look forward to each new day that she’d spend time with Aurora and Candle Light, even if she was still terribly afraid.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even make it all the way to work before disaster struck again.
Cars were something of a rarity in Williston by the twenties. There were one or two rolling down the street, but beyond that, no one really wanted to waste the oil when the town could be largely walked without issue. It meant that Daphne wasn’t particularly paying attention when what had to be a sports car screamed down the road and crashed into her. It didn’t even stop after it hit her, continuing along like nothing even happened.
Daphne flew up into the air and landed on her back in the grass on the side of the road. She barely felt any pain if she felt it at all. She was in shock. Her eyes were wide as she took herself in, the rain falling onto her a little harder now than it did before. She was more than a little injured—she looked worse now than Pete did. She was bruised and bloodied and certainly had broken bones, and worse. She could barely move her left hand, and her right shook badly. How was she not in pain?
It took a few seconds for it to set in. A sharp, burning pain enveloped her whole body, forcing her eyes closed as she winced. It hurt to simply breathe, her chest feeling like it was crushed, her ribs on fire. If Pete didn't survive his wounds, there was no way she was going to survive hers.
She reached into her hoodie for the syringe. It was still intact, remarkably enough, but just gripping it was a struggle. She didn't know if she would have the strength to bring it to her neck. Why hasn't she just trusted Candle Light a little more and used it on herself earlier? It wasn't even that she didn't trust her. She had no idea why she didn't want to.
No idea besides fear.
Her left hand still didn't move. Daphne had to use her teeth to pull the syringe cap off, exposing the needle. How could a little thing like this save her? Her hand was still shaking badly as she struggled to breathe. What if she couldn't do it?
She felt herself starting to fade, in and out as blackness took up her vision. Her hand fell to her side and the syringe rolled out of her grasp. She couldn't even do this one thing right. Just one thing. And she couldn't do it. She didn’t deserve Equestria, after everything she kept screwing up in her life.
There was a van in the distance, and a pony stepping out. It wasn't Candle Light, or Celestia, or anyone Daphne couldn't say she recognized. But he seemed familiar. And he was coming up to her. Why was he doing that?
He wasn't recognizable in the slightest, except for his voice, but she couldn't quite put together from where. Her head was pounding from after it smacked into the dirt. She was certain she would've figured it out in other circumstances, even if it was only two words he offered her.
“Can I?” he asked softly, carefully picking up the syringe as he turned her head over in his hooves. How was he able to do that with his hooves? Not like she'd ever know. She was hurting so much. How much of that was physical?
She was barely able to give a single nod before she felt the needle poking into the back of her neck. Barely able to look up to see that he was about to cry. But he was smiling?
“Thanks, Daffie,” he sniffed. “See you there.” She might not have been quite sure who he was, but she guessed it was possible. Where would she even go though?
Daphne didn't really remember the rest of what she was thinking of. Her head was spinning, so she closed her eyes to rest for a little while. She felt tired now.
“Nonny?” a familiar voice whispered carefully as a small, velvety wing touched Night Watcher’s cheek. “Nonny, I'm hungry,” a young foal said.
Night Watcher was on their side, their face and a couple of hooves hanging off the edge of the bed as they opened their eyes and took in the scene. A filly had her gaze trained on them, hopeful, yet questioning, tilting her head as she touched their cheek again. She had brown eyes and an orange coat with a banana yellow mane and tail that seemed to reflect off of moonlight streaming in from the window. But her voice was familiar. Night Watcher heard it every day.
“Hey, Rory,” they told Aurora, their own voice more neutral than it was before, maybe still a smidge on the feminine side. Their body was pretty androgynous looking, just like it was when they played Equestria Online, very few details about them leaning toward one sex or the other. It felt nice, just like the room they were in.
It was a simple looking one, with two beds, one larger than the other. A bookshelf and desk with a record player lined one side, and a large window offered a perfect view of the moon hanging outside, full and bright as the sky around it was littered with stars. Outside beyond that was a beach that several ponies walked along—Night Watcher's vision was excellent now. Although one of them turned around, and stared up at the window, as though they were looking right at them. They turned to somepony else to explain something, then seemed to head to the house.
Night Watcher could only guess who that was. So then this was all real.
Night Watcher started to cry, and put their head in their wings.
“Nonny?” Aurora asked quietly, sounding like she would cry just because they were crying. “What's wrong?”
Night Watcher cried for a few seconds more, then wiped their eyes and carefully pet Aurora's mane, pulling the small filly in close. “It's nothing, honey,” they told her. “I'm just happy you're safe.” They took a breath and asked, “You said you were hungry? Let's see if we can find some food for you, okay?”
The two headed down to the kitchen, another room Night Watcher recognized, although a few things changed after so long. They didn't think their mother would mind them raiding the fridge for food; she even prepared a couple of meals for them to eat. A bean and rice mix with a sauce she couldn't name and green beans and carrots on the side. It was delicious, and tasted just like home, cooking they'd been missing since forever ago. Aurora only ate the rice and carrots though.
Night Watcher felt nice, nicer than they had in years—maybe ever. They were in Equestria and safe, their mother was here, and they had a body that felt comfortable. It might have been somewhat embarrassing being naked now, but they figured it was something they'd get used to. It wasn't too bad.
What did the bat pony remember though, about what happened just before they woke up? They closed their eyes and tried to recall the minutes and hours. They remembered being hit by the car, being in pain, and trying to inject themself. They remembered being unable to, and a pony coming up to inject them. They remembered being tired, and then… Night Watcher didn’t know. Maybe a few people coming up to them, and being put on a stretcher in an ambulance? They must have gone to the hospital, and could vaguely remember bright white lights. But how long were they there? Minutes? Months? It felt longer than a day, at least. Maybe longer than a week. Their daughter’s lack of surprise by the circumstances seemed to indicate that. She shouldn’t have even known who they were yet.
And then they were waking up here, with Aurora. And finding out this was real. How was this real?
They definitely remembered the voice of the pony now, a thought that made them tear up again. They definitely needed to find him. How did he know to be right there, right then? Did it even matter? Night Watcher was glad he was.
The two finished their food, then raided the freezer for a couple of bowls of chocolate ice cream before they both settled into the couch. Night Watcher wrapped a wing around their daughter to pull her close and tight, and closed their eyes to silently cry. Why had they waited so long? They always knew logically that this was real. They'd known that since before Warm Spell uploaded. Yet it took ages for them to actually get here. It was just so much wasted time…
Their body moved comfortably, without any issue, and Aurora seemed like she was already settled in. They were here. They were safe. They didn't have to worry anymore. And Pete was here, and so was their family, and…
And Night Watcher was going to need time to process all of their feelings. How many years had it been since their father—their mother—got cancer? Night Watcher's lip trembled, and they pulled Aurora closer. They wouldn't have to worry about that anymore either. Or anything else.
Why were they still so terrified then?
A soft knock came, and the front door opened slowly to show not one, but two familiar faces. Candle Light reached them first, while Pete took hold of Aurora. Night Watcher's quiet crying quickly turned into loud sobs as they held onto the mare, like they were clinging onto dear life.
“Hey, Nighty,” Candle Light whispered softly, her voice somehow clear, without a hint of a tear in it. There was only gentle happiness. “Glad you could finally make it.” Night Watcher could practically hear her smiling.
It took them more than a minute of holding onto Candle Light before they finally calmed down enough to take a breath and wipe their eyes. Their fur was just as soft as their mother's and helped to dry their tears. It also helped that she let them lean into her neck.
“I'm sorry, Dad… Mom…” Night Watcher finally got out, looking up into her eyes. The bat pony almost expected to see icy blue eyes again, but no. They were still shining brightly emerald green. Their mother had changed, a lot. So had Night Watcher.
“Why are you apologizing?” her mother asked softly. “You don't have anything to be sorry for.”
“I'm sorry for taking so long to get here,” Night Watcher got out shakily, the tear drops still dripping down. The floodgates had been fully opened, and they wouldn't stop now. Candle Light pulled them in again tightly.
“For being dumb, for not talking to you forever. For… everything…”
That this was real, everypony was certainly going to hate them now for making them wait, for forcing Candle Light to agonize over them for years and years. How their mother didn't already hate them, Night Watcher didn't know. Maybe because that was just who she was. It was one thing that hadn't changed.
“Thank you, Mom,” Night Watcher continued, looking back up into her eyes. “For saving me, and Rory, and Pete, and…” They glanced away for a moment before putting their eyes back on her. “You're my hero.”
Now Candle Light’s smile became a wide grin as she sniffed, having to avoid crying herself. “Thank you for letting me be, honey.”
The two hugged a while more, Night Watcher apologizing again and again and Candle Light reassuring them that they had nothing to be sorry for. Then they turned to hug Pete—Turning Point, who was a bat pony just like they were. How he knew to be there at that moment, Night Watcher didn't know, but they were glad for it. They saved their life.
The adults talked for a bit while Aurora sat on Night Watcher’s back; Night Watcher explained that they were non-binary, something that her mother apparently already knew. They talked to Turning Point about Aurora, and he talked about what he'd been doing for the last few years, which turned out to be effectively sitting and watching with Celestia in Canterlot Night Watcher and Aurora go about their lives day in and day out. Night Watcher thought about how the love they felt for him just before he died was still with them now, and asked Candle Light what they should do now that the three of them were here. The mare assured them that they would figure it out later, and that first Night Watcher and Aurora should go down to the beach with her and Turning Point.
The night was clear and littered with stars. The moon hung high and bright over the town Night Watcher had only been to a handful of times. It was cool out tonight, with a soft wind blowing through their fur and messing up their manes, the wind carrying the salty scent of the ocean with it. It wouldn't be oppressively hot here like in Arizona, or bitterly cold like in North Dakota. The bat pony smiled shyly at the thought.
They still felt afraid though, and began to tear up again.
Candle Light stopped at a bench along the way, telling Turning Point that he and Aurora should continue on down to the beach and that the two of them would catch up soon. When they slowly walked on, Candle Light wrapped her hoof around her foal again.
“What's wrong, honey?” she asked quietly.
“It's been so long… forever,” Night Watcher got out in a whisper, having to wipe their eyes again, this time with a wing. There were crickets chirping and cicadas buzzing in the grass as they picked up on sounds of laughter coming from down at the beach. They knew who was waiting down there.
“They're gonna hate me,” Night Watcher said quietly. “It's been forever.”
“Why would they hate you, sweetheart?” Candle Light asked gently.
“I don't know…”
Candle Light pulled them closer, tighter, and helped them to lean into her shoulder. “I know everything's changed,” she started kindly, “but I promise they won't hate you. We never have. We all love you so much.”
Why did it feel like they did then? Like Night Watcher didn't deserve their love after everything? Didn't deserve to be happy? Why were they so afraid?
Her mother seemed to read her mind. “You deserve to be happy, honey. You always have.”
Night Watcher sniffed loudly. “I haven't been in forever though,” they choked out in a whisper. “I don’t know if I can be… not in forever…”
Candle Light continued to hold them, the bat pony almost able to physically feel all the love she radiated. “You'll be happy here,” she told them. “Trust me.”
“I don’t deserve it though,” they said as the tears dripped down, off of their cheeks and onto their mother’s coat. “I’m just…” They didn’t speak for a long moment as Candle Light carefully brushed their wings with a hoof.
“Just what?”
“Just selfish!” they finally finished. “I did everything wrong, and I don’t know why! And if not for you and Pete, I would’ve just died! And Aurora would be alone, and I knew all that, and I did it anyway! I wouldn’t have used the injection on Aurora if I didn’t think it would work, and I still didn’t use it on myself anyway, and I was the only one who said you shouldn’t emigrate, and would’ve killed you if Mom listened to me, and I tried to keep everyone else from emigrating, and—”
“Honey, honey, honey,” Candle Light interrupted softly, tightening her grip on them before they could hyperventilate. Their muzzle pushed into her neck as she said, “You don’t need to take care of everypony, sweetie. It’s not your responsibility.” Night Watcher sniffled again, and Candle Light spoke in a whisper now. “I’m here to take care of you, okay? You’re safe now.”
“I don’t deserve it,” they said just as quietly, not pulling back from her neck. “I messed everything up. I don’t deserve to be safe or happy. I should just be dead out there. You should all hate me.” They sniffed loudly, and finished, “I should just fucking die.”
“You deserve to be happy,” Candle Light told them again. “It’s my job to take care of you, not your job to take care of everypony else. You deserve to be safe and happy, and you will be.”
Night Watcher didn't pull out of her grasp, but did look up into her eyes. “You promise?” This time, their voice was as clear as could be.
Candle Light smiled like she always did, like she always used to before, and rubbed their back softly. “I promise, sweetie. You'll be happy here.”
“But it's been so long,” they whimpered. “I've missed everything. They all know I kept making bad choices. They’re all gonna hate me…” Their voice cracked as they said, “I'll never get that time back, Mom…”
That, of all things, made Candle Light laugh lightly. “Nighty, you haven't missed a thing,” she said with a wide grin. “You have so much more time than you'll ever know.”
More time than they would ever know? That felt impossible, but Candle Light never lied to her, not ever.
She kissed their forehead, and finished, “Now let's head down to the beach. The rest of your family is waiting to see you.”
It was a beautiful night to spend outside. It felt absolutely perfect.
Night Watcher leaned heavily on Candle Light at almost every opportunity. They were still afraid after all that had happened, and didn’t want to lose their mother again. They couldn’t be sure something terrible wouldn’t pop up to take her away again. That was what had always happened. They didn’t deserve to be happy.
But nothing came to take her away, not after a day, not after a week, after a month, a year, a decade, more. Night Watcher became less afraid, inch by inch, but they were still terrified. The Outer Realm had definitely traumatized them. They never wanted to speak of or think about that place again. Why had the bat pony been so insistent on hanging around there, awful as it was? They knew why.
They stood shyly behind Candle Light as they made their way down to the beach, but their attempt to hide was futile. In a few short seconds, they were assaulted by many hugs and shouts of happiness and laughter and more tears. There were many tears—mostly from Night Watcher, but a few others cried, too. They were still certain even after all the hugs that everypony would hate them, but nopony did. It was all smiles, their family wearing bright grins while Night Watcher’s was shy and bashful. There would be a lot of catching up to do tomorrow. And for the next year.
But before that, they swam at the beach with Candle Light and Aurora, and learned to fly under the light of the moon with their brother and sister and Crystal Clear and Turning Point. It was overwhelming. It was freeing. It felt like the end of a long journey. It helped to melt away a smidge of their fear.
It was a very long process though. Night Watcher cried a lot over the next few months while they lived with Turning Point and Aurora in their mother’s house in Summer’s Edge. They didn’t deserve this, not at all. How much time had they spent abandoning their family because they were afraid of nothing? They should have hated her, Candle Light most of all. And yet their mother stuck by their side, always. Night Watcher didn’t deserve that.
But now, instead of helping them to upload, Candle Light spent her time encouraging them and assuring them that it was okay, that of course everypony knew Night Watcher loved them, that they absolutely deserved to be happy. Had they always been this bad off? How long had it been since they were happy? Since before their mother died?
But she wasn’t dead. She was right there, reminding the bat pony of her love every day through a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. Night Watcher missed it dearly.
And Turning Point, too. Night Watcher didn’t realize how much they missed him until he was there again. They didn’t appreciate him when they had him in the Outer Realm. They were basically using him, tricking him. It was another reason why he should’ve hated them, why the bat pony didn’t deserve to be happy.
What had they even done to deserve happiness? Nothing. Nothing but try to kill their mother, refuse to talk to her when they realized they were wrong, and tried to kill their family, too. There was so much cognitive dissonance, but was it even really that? They knew what the correct choice was; they knew it all along. And they still refused to make it, until there was no choice left. That behavior didn’t deserve happiness. It didn’t deserve anything but dying in the middle of the street in North Dakota.
But just like Candle Light, he was there to say that it was okay, that despite everything, Night Watcher was the one who saved him. That after everything, he absolutely still loved her, but he would understand if they just wanted to be friends. Absolutely selfless, just like Candle Light. How had Night Watcher been lucky enough to come across a stallion like him?
But no, they didn’t want to be just friends. No way would Night Watcher ever give up somepony like Turning Point. Not when they just started to appreciate him. It meant another conversation Night Watcher had to have about explaining themself—being mostly asexual—but Turning Point was okay with that. Of course it made Night Watcher cry once again as they held tightly onto him. The stallion had saved them, too.
Watching Aurora slowly, very slowly, grow up helped to settle their nerves, helped them to accept that they weren’t hated and deserved happiness. The filly was so smart, and bright, too. She excelled in school, and loved to listen to Candle Light read about magic to her. It was only right to let her change into being a unicorn. Maybe someday she’d have both wings and a unicorn horn. Wouldn’t that be a sight? She’d be just like Princess Celestia.
But it was still a process Night Watcher went through, not hating themself for all the stupid decisions they made, for waiting so long to emigrate. Why hadn’t they done this sooner? They knew why.
The bat pony talked about it with their little sister—no, their older sister. They were definitely the youngest now, that was a fact. Just another reminder of how much time they wasted, how much they screwed it all up, why everypony should hate them.
“Why would anypony hate you?” Warm Spell asked, confusion painted on her face as they sat in the two’s shard together. In Warm Spell’s shard now. Night Watcher never came here anymore, wanting to be as near to Candle Light as they could possibly be. Their older sister insisted though that it still belonged to both of them.
“If this is because of how long it took you to get here,” she continued, “everypony already forgives you. I certainly do. None of that matters anymore. We’ve missed having you around.”
“I don’t see why you would,” Night Watcher sighed. They tried to believe her though, as hard as it was. Candle Light promised they would be happy in Equestria, and their mother wasn’t one to tell a lie. If she promised, it was going to happen. They had to trust that.
“I just… don’t really know what I’m supposed to do now,” they continued. “I haven't been doing anything since I got here.” They sniffed, and said, “And it's weird having everyone—err, everypony—be older than me. Except for my daughter.”
Warm Spell laughed at that. “Maybe that's what you get for taking so long to get here.” The bat pony looked down at their hooves, and the unicorn lit up her horn to touch their shoulder. She pulled their gaze back up to her eyes.
“Hey,” she told them. “If everypony being older than you is the worst thing there is, then I'd say things are pretty good. And maybe Celestia let so much time pass in Equestria while you were in the Outer Realm because of that. You always wanted to protect us, when really, you needed the most protecting.”
Night Watcher couldn't help but smile shyly at that. That was an interesting spin their sister put on it. They really did need protecting, didn’t they? They were the one who was the most afraid, after all, who needed the most care and comfort and love. Maybe this was the way it was meant to be, strange as it was.
“What am I supposed to do though?” the bat pony asked again. “What can I do?”
“Anything you want,” Warm Spell told her, almost as brightly as Candle Light always seemed to be. She moved to sit next to Night Watcher, and wrapped a hoof around her shoulder, in a way Night Watcher never did in the Outer Realm. She really was going to act like their older sister, wasn’t she?
“There’s a whole big world out there for you to explore, Nighty,” the mare grinned, “and I’ll be your tour guide! We can bring your coltfriend and Aurora with us, too, if you want! It’ll be fun!”
“I think I’ll just stay in Summer’s Edge for a while, to be honest,” the bat pony replied, their smile growing. “But maybe seeing new places every once in a while would be okay? As long as Mom was with us.”
Warm Spell laughed again. “You’re just like Ma is, seriously. But staying in Summer’s Edge and going bowling and swimming at the beach would be fun, too.”
Yes, that would be fun. It was still hard for Night Watcher to believe they deserved to be happy after everything, but they were slowly letting it settle on them. They’d wasted so much time afraid and upset about losing everyone around them. It was going to be hard to let that feeling go entirely.
Candle Light lived the life of her dreams. There really was nothing left to worry about now that Night Watcher was here in Equestria, finally safe. Rising Ranks was right.
Well, there wasn’t nothing. Her child still lived with her, still nervous and afraid and sad, but the mare provided them as much comfort and support as she could. It might have taken a long time for their confidence to build up, for those feelings to fade, but they eventually started to.
It was a long century or two before Night Watcher’s confidence built up enough that they were able to broach the idea of moving out on their own with Turning Point and the still teenage Aurora. Not far though; Candle Light, Soft Step, Careful Calling, and some of her friends helped build the trio a house a few blocks down the street. Far enough that the bat pony was getting her independence back, but close enough to assure them that Candle Light wasn’t going anywhere. It was a start, one that the mare was glad to see. Her child was trusting her.
Candle Light of course was going to have a foal with Rising Ranks once they had the house to themselves. More than one foal actually. Within ten years of Night Watcher moving down the street from her, the mare was raising three foals with her husband; a filly named Sunny Patch, and two colts, Blazing Breeze and Spellbook. They were an earth pony, pegasus, and unicorn, respectively. She and Rising Ranks might have intentionally played with the genetics of them before they were born so that they could have one of each.
There might have been no more wonderful a feeling that Candle Light experienced than carrying her children inside of her. This certainly wasn’t going to be her last three foals. Nowhere near it.
There were some interesting family reunions when Crystal Clear showed up with more foals of her own, and their granddaughter, Aurora, finally grew up enough to find a partner, a stallion named Quick Draw that was Solar Spark’s and Renown Frame’s colt. Before too long, all of Summer’s Edge was going to be taking part in their reunions. Although there was talk around the town about expanding the shard’s borders and opening it up to other Equestrians to move to if they wanted. The little town of a few thousand ponies might’ve been getting bigger soon. Candle Light certainly wouldn’t mind if it did.
She definitely didn’t mind the times Crystal Clear showed back up again to spend time with her. It was every so often, perhaps once a century, that her wife would turn up back home again to stay with her for a few dozen years. Mostly Crystal Clear was a mare, but there were a few nights (or was it years?) that she spent as a stallion when Candle Light was feeling extra needy. They talked, and laughed, and told stories about the Outer Realm and what they were doing now and lived together for a while before going their separate ways, always unspoken that they would return to each other again eventually.
And the years did go by where Candle Light did what she always did; laid around the house with Rising Ranks, studied magic, teleported herself to the beach every morning, talked to her friends, laughed, danced, and had a good time. Raised her younger foals, talked to her older ones, chatted with Night Watcher practically every day, and visited the grandchildren and great grandchildren she began to acquire. A century passed, then two, then five, a millennium, more. It never seemed to get old.
She visited the Outer Realm on occasion with Aurora and studied at the university in Canterlot, and even worked as a teacher there for a few decades. She ran her coffee shop with Crystal Clear, helped Misty Rose and Soft Step with their garden, helped the new ponies that moved to Summer’s Edge, whether from other parts of Equestria or the Outer Realm, get settled in, and had a wonderful time with her husband. It was so perfect. She loved her life, and loved being herself.
She sat by a warm fire with her stallion one night, a cold one that brought rare snow to the town. It didn’t stick to the road, but it covered the grass and the mailbox and the roofs of nearby houses. It had been a good few decades since Candle Light saw snow like this, the white fluffy flakes falling to the ground and the sky brighter than normal, with an orange tint that almost seemed to light up the night. It was a good time to cuddle up to her husband near the rarely used fireplace.
She settled contentedly into the stallion as he pet her stomach and side, wrapping his hooves around her as the two lay under a blanket they shared. The fire crackled, and the smell of burning wood filled their home with a rare smokiness they didn’t experience all that often. It combined with the normal salty air in a unique way that Candle Light could appreciate.
“It’s been a good life, hasn’t it?” Rising Ranks asked softly as he rubbed his cheek against hers.
“Mhm,” the mare quietly agreed, her eyes remaining closed as she settled into him.
“We've studied more magic than anypony else we know,” he continued. “Had foals together, seen our grandfoals, and their grandfoals. Read an uncountable number of books, had the time of our lives…” He turned her head carefully and kissed her, then smiled widely, “And I spent time with you.”
Candle Light kissed him back, and nuzzled the stallion softly. “It's been amazing,” she agreed. She closed her eyes and breathed gently, enjoying the feeling of being close to him. Then she said, “But I haven't had the time of my life yet.”
Rising Ranks raised an eyebrow at that, and Candle Light smiled playfully back at him. “Oh?” he asked. “What else do you wanna do?”
“I wanna be a pegasus!” she declared immediately, excitedly, like a seventeen year old mare would. It was the first thought that came to mind. Her husband stared back at her, a bit skeptical and confused.
“I do!” she told him quickly, slightly defensively. “It'd be amazing to fly around and push the clouds wherever I want them to go! To travel at the speed of sound and make ponies stop in awe when they see me; it'd be cool! I could do stunts and learn to preen my wings and everything!”
Now Rising Ranks smirked, telling her, “You're nowhere near satisfied, are you?”
“No way! There's too many ponies to meet and things to do!” She smiled to herself at the thought of all the experiences she could have, then gave a knowing look to Rising Ranks. “You're just one of them,” she said slyly as she climbed on top of him.
It was cold that night, and the next morning, too. Cold enough that the two stayed wrapped up together near the fire as they cuddled, sharing in each other's warmth. Cold enough that Candle Light slept into the afternoon with her husband, not willing to move and inch from his side.
Cold enough that she missed going to the beach for the first time in ages, as the sun went down again and the tides changed.
