Hearth's Warming Eve'll Find Me
Somewhere out there in the sweeping and desolate wasteland once called Equestria, surrounded by the rapidly dying Everfree Forest, there sits a lone being of immense power in the remains of the Castle of the Two Sisters. Daybreaker looked up from her book to see the midday sun hanging aimlessly in the sepia-colored sky, no longer serving any purpose other than to remind all those who remained that she was still in control.
Though concepts of time, such as years or seasons, no longer mattered to a being as grand and infinite as Daybreaker, she could not help but study the eroded castle walls around her and recall the days in which snow fell as endlessly as her mighty sun shone now. In those days, before the birth of Equestria and its eventual destruction, a bitter cold had ravaged the land leaving ponies to suffer, freezing and starving for years until they found prosperity in their own unity.
Daybreaker knew their suffering was a product of their weakness, and their starvation was a symptom of their faulty design. It was no wonder they had begged Daybreaker, despite her own deficiencies at the time, to lead them. And to think, she agreed to their miserable pleading, belittling herself to serve their incessant needs year after year. She should have wiped them out ages ago for their arrogance. A creature of her brilliance should never have been approached by such lowly insects.
Now the world was perfect in Daybreaker’s eyes. Her sun dominated every moment, unrelenting and unforgiving. Those who remained in the barren world were strong, and Daybreaker was the strongest of them all. Many had tried to stand to her, and all had failed. She squashed their feeble rebellions, leaving none to carry on the fight except for one particularly annoying outlier. It is true, Daybreaker’s might and prowess was unmatched, but there was one creature capable of surviving each failed rebellion with vigor.
A gradient of blues and purples began to creep up at the bottom of the usual sepia sky. Daybreaker grounded her sharpened teeth as she tried to ignore the fragments of night that touched the horizon. In the white alicorn’s mind, there was no point in paying the tiresome fool any attention. Yet, the tiresome fool grew ever closer with each beat of her bat-like wings with the same idiotic determination on her face that she always had.
Nightmare Moon slowed her pace as she descended from above and landed gracefully on the cracked cobblestone. Daybreaker looked at her with disinterest as she teleported her book away. The yellow sun blazed overhead like a spotlight, boiling everything below it. As Daybreaker stepped towards the black alicorn, the fractured stones around her sizzled while the surrounding Everfree forest rotted and withered away.
“So, you have come to face me again? Have you not given up these futile attempts?” Daybreaker questioned with conceit. But her arrogance did not last long after hearing Nightmare’s simple response.
“Why Daybreaker? I assure you that I am simply here to enjoy the holiday.” Nightmare’s canine teeth glistened in a smirk as she noticed the confusion in Daybreaker’s stare. “Don’t you recall Daybreaker? We are nearing Hearth’s Warming, a special occasion in our shared history. Granted, it is quite difficult to track the days with that awful sun staying up at all hours.”
Daybreaker scoffed at the insolent remark. She spat as she glowered at the black alicorn. “You speak of a ‘shared history’ between you and I, but I encourage you to forget such pathetic times. To associate yourself with a creature as superior as I is an insult that I will not take lightly. Hold your tongue, or I will tear it out.”
Despite the intensity of Daybreaker’s words, Nightmare stood unphased and perhaps a tad amused. She approached the larger alicorn with a sickly-sweet synthetic smile and bowed. “It seems that we have started this discussion on the wrong hoof. I had assumed that your decision to reside in our old castle was purposeful. I simply seek to spend the holiday in the company of another life form.”
Daybreaker looked at her skeptically. “And you seek that company in me, your greatest foe?”
Nightmare shrugged, maintaining her devilish smile. “It is not like I have many choices left…no thanks to you.”
Despite herself, Daybreaker snorted at the remark. “They are gone because they were too weak to live. I simply followed the examples set by nature itself.”
Nightmare Moon stepped towards Daybreaker casually. “Well I guess you are just as good a judge of nature’s will as any. I recall a time when we were all subject to its scrutiny.”
Daybreaker puffed her chest out. “Though I have warned you about speaking of those times I must agree. The hardships endured back then had molded me into the elite creation I am today. In those days, the windigos had their way with the world. Now, I have mine, and my magnificent sun will ensure that nopony will suffer under their obdurate winter ever again.”
“Nopony will suffer under their obdurate winter because nopony is left to do so,” Nightmare muttered, ignoring the cold glare from Daybreaker, she continued with an amicable smile, “but that is only due to their own weakness, of course. It is tragic that their ability to survive could not match your tactical genius.”
“Yes, it is a tragedy, but a being as infinite as I should not worry itself with inconsequentials. Their lives always ended as quickly as they started. Crying over them is foalish.”
Nightmare, looking quite at ease in this conversation, began to move deeper into the castle. It took no prompting to get Daybreaker to follow beside her.
Nightmare nodded. “I could not agree more. Those ponies knew what they needed to do to prosper, yet their minuscule differences made it near impossible. They were so incompetent that they called upon us, no more than children at the time, to lead them into a new era.”
The pair laughed at the absurdity of the proposition. A proposition which they, in their youthful eagerness, had accepted with little hesitation. It was rare for any figure to be as highly regarded by the three tribes as the two alicorns. Nopony could ignore the pair's innate superiority being the amalgamation of all three tribes' best qualities. Daybreaker, being the fool that she was at the time, constricted her power to better serve the populace, burdening herself with an overabundance of responsibility and service. And what did she receive in return?
Other than infantile displays of pageantry, nothing worth the effort. Ponies as a kind were disagreeable and inept, but to their credit, they had an incredible penchant for attracting malicious forces. The alicorns had spent more of their early rule in combat than in diplomatic or political affairs. But this was not an issue for Daybreaker, who easily defeated all of their enemies.
As the pair of alicorns navigated the ruined castle, they came across a scrap of fabric, muted and dirtied by age and trauma. Daybreaker picked it up with her magic and squinted to try and recognize any identifiable features on it. Nightmare silently peered over Daybreaker’s shoulder and studied the scrap with the same quizzical expression.
“Perhaps it is a piece of a tapestry that depicted one of our many victories?” Nightmare supplied after a few minutes of silent pondering.
Daybreaker did not bother to turn her head, opting to side-eye the black alicorn beside her. “‘Our many victories?’” she questioned with scorn.
Nightmare cautiously moved a few steps back, adding as much sincerity to her words that she could muster, “You are right again. ‘Our many victories’ is a tad untruthful. It would be more accurate to say your many victories…but you cannot deny that I was at least present for many of those triumphs.”
Daybreaker snorted indignantly but chose to maintain the tenuous peace between them. “It is good that you have learned your place, Nightmare. Occasionally, you were present, but you often did little to improve our circumstances. Although, I do not blame you entirely for your shortcomings, since you are and always will be weaker than I.”
The scrap of tapestry floating in Daybreaker’s aura suddenly burst into flames, and the two watched as one of the few remaining testaments to their shared past turned to dust and ash. Daybreaker now turned to look at Nightmare, her yellow eyes pierced into the black alicorn like the unforgiving sun above. “As the strongest of all, it is my destiny to control everything. I have made this world perfect.”
If Nightmare was displeased by Daybreaker’s words, she did not show it. She let the dust fall to the floor and restarted their steady stroll through the castle. Her cordial tone was distinctly different from Daybreaker’s grave one, “And what a beautiful world it is, Daybreaker. I thank you for taking this monumental responsibility upon yourself. It is a miracle that I was even allowed to stand by your side as an equal for so long.”
It was strange to think, but Daybreaker was actually enjoying this conversation. It was rare for Daybreaker to carry out a cavalier conversation with anypony, especially with somepony she despised as greatly as Nightmare Moon. Daybreaker’s very existence was derived from unattended negativity left to fester and rot, allowing her to overcome her weakness and be born again in fire and flame. She had assumed that the old her and all its unsavory quirks had disappeared, but it appeared that some characteristics prevailed. As they walked among the shambles, Daybreaker’s mind buzzed with ancient memories.
She saw a series of stones stacked, leading up to nowhere. She believed they used to comprise the staircase the pair would always race down when suppertime rolled around. Partially buried under her hooves were the rusted remains of a spearhead, a gift from griffon delegates given to her after her ascension. She noticed old slabs of stone that still had faint writings, the words were old-fashioned profanity written by Nightmare during a particularly frustrating tutoring session under Starswirl the Bearded.
There was a feeling of levity that came with these recollections. After years of merciless cold, famine, and death, the two sisters had risen to power and enjoyed the greatest perks of Equestria’s newfound prosperity. They had a lavish home full of ponies ready to wait on them at all hours. Those ponies led finite and ephemeral lives, but they experienced each moment with an infectious affection. It was a new experience for the old Daybreaker, who had only felt responsible over one pony for a majority of her life. Suddenly, she was in charge of thousands upon thousands. And they all needed her to be at her best.
She knew they were small and insignificant, but she still yearned to make their lives as comfortable and peaceful as possible. Even when it came to her own detriment, she protected them year after year and ignored everything else.
Daybreaker, lost in her own thoughts, had not noticed the sudden shade overhead until Nightmare cleared her throat and called her back to the present. The white alicorn looked around in poorly hidden awe. The room they had entered was one of the best-preserved portions of the castle. Two deteriorated thrones were positioned ahead, and the faded embellishments of sun and moon motifs were scattered throughout the withering throne room. Somewhere deep within Daybreaker there was an ache that frequently persisted at a dull throb, but now it almost seemed to burn as memories swarmed and battered her skull.
This was the place where all good things came to an end. Where the old Daybreaker’s hopes and dreams had shattered into a million pieces. The reason why this place, which had once been the beloved home of her own design, had been abandoned for ages. Left to fall apart just as the most important relationship in her life had. As time passed and ponies came and went, one thing remained consistent in Daybreaker’s exhaustive life. The one who she walked alongside long before they were asked to lead the young nation into the future.
The one who she had endured the most gut-wrenching tragedies with and claimed the most valiant of victories alongside.They had taken on the worst of what their world had to offer, and Daybreaker had begun to feel a foolish sense of peace and contentment herself. One day she turned around to find that the pony she loved most had turned on her and had taught her the most important lesson of her life.
Nightmare Moon was not to be trusted.
Within the second that the thought had crossed her mind, Daybreaker’s horn ignited with expert swiftness. Out of the corner of her eye, she detected a sudden movement from Nightmare and quickly produced a shield to protect herself from a blast of magic. She was saved from the worst of Nightmare’s sudden assault, but the hastiness of its creation left her vulnerable to the pushback. The white alicorn fell to the ground with a grunt, reeling from the sudden attack. An old but familiar cool began to cover her as the midday sun set for the first time in months, and the moon rose again. By the time Daybreaker forced herself back to her hooves, all she could see was the full moon shining brightly, and all she could hear was Nightmare’s cackling.
The black alicorn hovered above, enjoying every second of Daybreaker’s dazed confusion. “My, my dear Daybreaker, what is wrong? Has your brain spent so much time rotting under the sun that you have forgotten who I truly am? How pitiful, to let oneself be blindsided by their own…sentimentality,” Nightmare spat out with vitriol.
Another wave of laughter bellowed out from the smaller alicorn, which worsened Daybreaker’s fury. The flames flowing from her mane swelled as she amplified her voice to overpower the mocking, “Just as you are, you always have been! Resorting to cowardly tricks and deceptions to win your battles for you. But be aware, as I have shown you many times, cleverness is no match for sheer strength!”
Daybreaker snarled as she unleashed a beam of magic that illuminated the surrounding area. Nightmare evaded the discharge with ease, but the shot was not meant to hit its target. Daybreaker intended to remind her enemy of the mistake made by attacking the superior being. With a grandiose flap of her wings, Daybreaker launched into the night sky in pursuit of Nightmare Moon. The earth and heavens alike trembled in the display of uninhibited power.
As she soared above, Daybreaker cursed herself for being so foolish as to let her guard down. As if Nightmare would ever desire to be in the "company" of anypony or that she would ever submit to Daybreaker’s superiority and give up her foolish desire to supplant the radiant sun. Every interaction between the two was marred by combat. They did not talk about their past or their feelings, because those things did not matter. They were inconsequential, they were momentary, and they got in the way of Daybreaker’s true potential.
The few species that were left within the Everfree Forest became active in response to the sudden commotion. The groaning, creaking, and howling of beasts filled Daybreaker’s ears as she unleashed blast after blast, with each missed shot exacerbating her already ill temper. Nightmare masterfully weaved her way in and out of the environment, using the darkness to her advantage to mask herself at random. Daybreaker, not wanting to acknowledge that she might be outclassed, continued to pursue her rival blindly in flight.
The white alicorn only became aware of Nightmare’s presence when she received a sudden attack from an unanticipated angle. She put her shielding spell to use as she used it much more frequently than she preferred. She followed Nightmare’s movements, pulling upward while spiraling. The whistling of wind rang in Daybreaker’s ears as she ascended higher, but the noise was not loud enough to block out Nightmare’s words.
“I knew there was a reason why you might have returned to this derelict castle, but it seems that coming here was to your own detriment. Do not think I have not recognized your reluctance to put this place in harm's way. I guess your feelings for this shack are just too hard to ignore?” Nightmare ridiculed with feigned sweetness.
Daybreaker felt herself losing momentum as she struggled to keep up with the smaller and more agile alicorn ahead of her. Puffs of cold air exited her mouth with each flap while Nightmare grew ever fainter in the distance. Her body emitted steam as fresh specks of snow landed on her. Daybreaker's aggravation reached new heights as she screamed into the darkness.
“You chastise me for my supposed ‘sentimentality,’ yet you have led us even further away from that castle. Your mocking is nothing more than a projection. I am certain that a weakling such as yourself would yearn for the days of old. The days where I was forced to act with restraint and mercy to appease the likes of you!”
Daybreaker’s words received no verbal response, instead, she had to dodge a blue beam of magic fired from above. She tensed her body in preparation for Nightmare’s next move, watching closely as the smaller alicorn dived downward.
All sense of tact and composure was lost from Nightmare’s words as she shouted back, “There was never a day when I lived underneath that roof that I would ever yearn to return! You speak confidently because your life was a happy one, where you were effortlessly beloved by all. While I lived each day in your shadow, there was never a moment where I was happy!”
The two alicorns fired beams that collided at a distance. They both grunted as they tried to overpower the other. But as Daybreaker had confidently declared, Nightmare was no match for Daybreaker’s sheer strength. Nightmare’s magic receded close enough to her that she had to relent and attempt to maneuver out of the way.
The black alicorn was blasted out of the way but tried to stay upright in a controlled crash landing. Daybreaker, detecting her enemy easier due to the snowflakes clashing against her black coat, saw an opportunity to impair Nightmare further. She fired a precise shot at her falling target.
Nightmare yelped as a stream of magic clipped her left wing. She struggled to keep afloat as the searing pain coursed throughout her body. Her horn illuminated as she flashed out of Daybreaker’s line of view, teleporting to the ground below.
Despite her injured wing resting limp at her side, Nightmare spoke in a tone reminiscent of a sweeter version of herself, “Careful now, you do not want to destroy what is left of this place dear Daybreaker. This is our castle after all, a symbol of our dreams.”
Night spoke with such sincerity, but Daybreaker knew that they were nothing more than manipulation. Despite her injury, the amusement on Nightmare’s face was obvious as she watched Daybreaker hover above. The fire within Daybreaker burned as brightly as her mane. Everything seemed to turn red as every part of her yearned to end this incessant battle.
It was an unfortunate occasion when Nightmare Moon actually spoke the truth, but she was right about Daybreaker’s sentimentality. There was a reason why she had returned to the Castle of the Two Sisters, and a reason why she had left it alone for so long as well. It was the same reason why she had spared Nightmare Moon for all these years, allowing the lesser alicorn to return repeatedly and fail to supersede her sun. It is because an incredibly small part of herself still cared for them, and that part of herself was the only thing keeping her from reaching her zenith. To destroy them would free her indefinitely. All of the weakness, hurt, and sadness that came with the confinement of care would die with them.
Daybreaker drew an unsteady breath as she prepared to do what always had to be done. “You will not dictate my actions! I will destroy this place, and I will destroy you!” She finally declared as her eyes lit up with pure magic.
Daybreaker groaned as she encapsulated as much solid matter in her magic and lifted it to the sky, but that tremendous task was not enough to exhaust an alicorn such as Daybreaker. While she forced the terrain around her to conform to her will, she also manipulated the sun to rise anew. The colors of the sky changed rapidly as the earth shook violently, uprooted trees and dislodged stones floated higher and higher above. The only things remaining on the surface were Nightmare Moon and the ground she stood on.
She looked up defiantly at Daybreaker, unmoved by the exceptional show of power. Daybreaker’s brows furrowed, waiting for Nightmare’s next trick. But the black alicorn stood idly by as her environment was ripped away. Perhaps, Nightmare Moon had finally accepted her inferiority and no longer desired to fight.
Finally feeling satisfied with all she had garnered, Daybreaker gave Nightmare one last warning look before unleashing everything she had with an unnatural scream. The deafening sound of the rubble plummeting to the ground could be heard from afar, then the icy silence as yet another piece of Equestria was destroyed.
Daybreaker continued to hover, ignoring the devastation and havoc she caused to fixate on the spot where Nightmare formerly stood. Once she regained her breath, she descended onto the rubble, looking for any indication that her enemy had survived. Finding no sign of life anywhere, she did not feel the strength or power she thought she would. Instead, she felt an emptiness like no other that seemed to amplify in the silence of a dead world. She stood alone, frozen and numb until she heard an ancient voice.
“Now…this is certainly strange,” muttered a voice from behind.
Daybreaker sharply turned to face it, but any further action was deterred by what she saw. Daybreaker stepped back in a mix of awe and disgust. Not only had Nightmare survived the foray, but she came out unscathed and looking like her old self again. She was no longer black with canine teeth and feline eyes; she was blue once more with her natural equine features.
Daybreaker’s mouth hung open in shock. “Wha- how?”
Luna held out a calming hoof and looked at Daybreaker with concern. “Celestia? Y-you need to…Celestia, this is not real. Sister, you need to wake up.”
“Wake up?” Daybreaker peered around at the ravaged remains that surrounded her. Something did seem off.
Daybreaker pressed a tentative hoof to her forehead, trying to remember what led her to this point. Why did she want this so bad, and why did it require her to destroy Nightmare Moon to get it?
“Nightmare, what is this?” Daybreaker asked with a detached voice.
“Celestia, I am not Nightmare Moon, and you are not Daybreaker. We are both inhabiting a dream, a dream which appears to be praying on your greatest insecurities. Wake up, dear sister, please,” Luna pleaded, approaching her older sister with a concerned expression.
Daybreaker could not help but feel disgusted at the advance. She was repulsed by the sweet face of her baby sister. She flinched away at Luna’s earnest attempt at a comforting hoof hold. Such insolence from a creature below her was not to be tolerated.
Luna returned to a defensive stance but still maintained a worried expression. “Sister, you need to fight this, you need to make it out of this with your mind and heart intact.”
“No! My mind is made up, my heart is no longer a factor, and I am not your sister! To think I would ever associate with a weakling such as yourself is repulsive. Your attempts to physically overpower me have failed, and now you attempt to weep me into submission. Yield coward so that I might slaughter you like the pitiful fool you are.”
“You do not mean that, Celestia.” Luna’s frustration was palpable as she frowned at her sister's harsh words.
“But I do,” Daybreaker insisted, but Luna did not seem to be paying attention,” Are you listening! I do, I do mean that!”
Luna turned on her hooves to observe the devastation around her. The sun and moon were up at the same time, lazily positioned in the sky. There was a putrid stench of rot and smoke that clung to the humidity in the air. As far as the eye could see, there was destruction and signs of total annihilation.
When Luna's stare returned to her, Celestia suddenly felt terribly ashamed. “Luna. I-I…”
Luna looked at her older sister with a mix of unsettledness and sadness, but she spoke decisively, “It is time to wake up.”
Celestia awoke with a start as the distinct noise of a book slamming shut echoed throughout the room. She tried to stand up on trembling hooves but found herself firmly sunken into the mound of pillows she had nestled into earlier that day. Her perceived immobility roused her panic and disorientation. Her breathing was erratic and desperate until a pair of dark blue hooves apprehended one of her hooves.
Luna looked at her older sister with unwavering determination. “Celestia, breath,” Luna implored while drawing in a stable breath of her own.
Celestia followed Luna’s instructions, slowing her breathing to match Luna’s pace. Her dizziness and nausea subsided as she focused on what she could definitely control. The trembling of her hooves eased once Luna gave them a tight squeeze.
“Celestia, do you know where we are right now?” Luna asked with the same undaunted expression.
Celestia swallowed and tried to recall memories from the waking world. Over the last few years, her and her sister's home had been Silver Shoals. But they were not in Silver Shoals at the moment. They were in a personal reading room, their old personal reading room.
“W-we are in our old castle, the Castle of the Two Sisters,” Celestia offered breathlessly.
Luna nodded and continued to pet her sister’s hooves. “And do you know why we are here or what day it is?”
Celestia looked to the side to see snow falling gently outside the yellow and blue stained-glass windows depicting a sun and moon respectively. “We left Silver Shoals to come here because we wanted to spend the holiday in a significant location. Today is Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
The stoicism in Luna’s expression finally receded, and she smiled at her sister. “And you know who you are? And who I am?”
Seeing that the world around her was very much well and not destroyed caused Celestia’s eyes to glisten with relief. She gripped Luna’s hooves, tugging her closer, and nuzzling her. “I am Celestia, you are Luna, and we are both okay.”
Never being one to be too affectionate, Luna rolled her eyes but allowed her sister to stay close. It took a few moments of relishing her sister’s presence for Celestia to notice that Luna’s horn was projecting an aura. A quick glance around the room revealed an old book encapsulated in Luna’s magic.
Fuzzy memories rushed back into Celestia’s head, and she narrowed her eyes while looking at the suspended book. Earlier that day, before her nightmare, she had come into the reading room to rest after a long day of tidying up the usable rooms in the castle. She decided to spend her downtime reading from the ancient library, specifically selecting a book because it lacked a title or discernible description. Upon opening it, she was surprised and disappointed to see the book also lacked text.
Yet, she read it anyways.
Her mouth read aloud words that were never written, and they did so until her vision and thoughts tunneled. Next time she looked up, the castle was in worse shape than it already was, she was Daybreaker, and Nightmare moon was coming to battle her.
Anticipating Celestia’s question, Luna went ahead and answered, “I had begun to sense something…unsavory, so I came in here to check on you. I found you in a fitful sleep, reciting a tale of suffering and woe. I tried to awaken you normally, but further inspection of this book made me aware of its truly evil nature.”
Celestia looked at Luna’s increasingly nervous body language, but said nothing, wanting her to continue speaking. “This book is enchanted to allow one to dream with meaning more easily. A noble goal indeed, but it has also been infused with dark magic which has distanced it from its initial good intent.”
Celestia placed a thoughtful hoof on her chin and cast Luna a disapproving side-eye. “I recall the many times in our youth in which Starswirl explicitly warned you against using dark magic in any capacity, Luna.”
Luna huffed and pouted, not wanting to endure a lecture from older sister, or recollect the hundreds of times that Starswirl had scolded her saying, “Dark magic has no practical applications.”
“And I understand that now,” Luna muttered before noticing Celestia’s continued disapproval and adding on sheepishly, “But as you know. Some ponies must learn lessons by making hooves-on mistakes. I learned many lessons while creating this book and many other artifacts of its caliber.”
Celestia massaged her temple. “And you left the cursed book in our personal study, so that any pony might stumble across and fall into its trance?”
“Well, you and I would only come in here, and I never expected that you would leave the castle with all of these valuables still inside. If it were not for the Everfree’s reputation, I am certain many thieves would have had a field day.”
“Let's just say I left this place in a rush without much fondness or joy. I honestly wanted to forget all about it, so I relocated to Canterlot. It just…hurt too much to exist here…alone,” Celestia mumbled with a dark expression.
Luna licked her lips and tried to pick up her sister’s spirits. “But now you feel comfortable enough to return. That must mean that your hurting has healed after all these years?”
Celestia forced a smile that did not reach her exhausted eyes. “You could say that. The Castle of the Two Sisters feels much homier when the two sisters are actually together in it.”
Luna avoided her sister's gaze and scratched the back of her head. “I-I want you to understand that your dream was the product of dark and denatured magic, it was not a reflection of your true nature, more of a distortion. That being said…if there is anything that occurred within your dream that is troubling you…I am always here to listen, and I want to listen.”
“I must admit, it is a relief to hear that my nightmare was not completely my own creation. I…I know you saw that I hurt you and everypony else,” Celestia whispered in disgust, “I never thought myself capable of such a thought.”
“And that is what makes you better than I, dear sister. Despite it all, you have remained strong and unbreakable in the waking world,” Luna insisted with a weak smile.
Celestia shook her head and tried to get Luna to look directly at her. “That is far from the truth Luna. I have not remained strong, not always. There are days where it takes everything I have to simply smile.”
Celestia let her smile slip as her eyes grew glossy. She had mastered the art of traversing the thin line between strength and weakness. Because she knew that one small slip, even the most minor deviation from her facade, could lead her down a spiral of utter devastation. There were days where she wanted nothing more than to fall apart. To lay down and let the gravity of her loneliness wash over her. Celestia could not quite remember the specifics of her origin anymore, but she does know this: In the beginning, it had been her and Luna, and when Luna left her, everything became wrong.
Had it been Nightmare’s desire to wound Celestia, it had succeeded in spite of its defeat. And had it been Luna’s desire to never be forgotten, she too had claimed her victory. Every moment of Celestia’s life for those endless thousand years were spent reflecting on how she failed. With each beat of her heart, she ached at the loss of her sister. Her grief permeated and stained all of her senses. It dimmed every sight, muffled every noise, turned every touch into agony, and soured every taste and smell for hundreds of years. Luna was never out of her mind, unforgotten, a phantom that haunted every decision and every thought.
In a strange way, her only solace was within the cold and familiar darkness. She had never understood the merits of the shadows until she was forced to endure every waking moment under the scrutiny of the spotlight. With nopony to stand beside her, she took all the responsibility onto herself. There was no darkness to recede into, no night to give her a reprieve from the demands of the day. It was endless attention and expectation, all cast solely upon her. The spotlight shined down on her, unrelenting, unforgiving. Never a moment to rest, a minute to feel vulnerable, or second to simply cry.
“For years, I denied myself the opportunity to feel. To feel my sorrow, to feel my hurt, to feel my loneliness. Now, I am retired and have all this…time to think and remember. I never realized that burying myself in my work was one of the few things keeping me together during all these years,” Celestia confided, playing with her hooves as Luna listened closely.
Luna looked at her sister with sincerity. “Forgive me sister. I was foolish to assume you did not feel the same emotions I do.”
“It is not your fault. Before all of this…it was just you and I. As your older sister, I was supposed to take care of you. That was the only task I was ever obligated to do, yet…I let myself get consumed by the…” Celestia struggled to continue.
“The burden that we both agreed to shoulder?” Luna asked, “Make no mistake, dear sister, you have no obligations but to your own desires. You are just as free as any other. You are loved for all that you have sacrificed and undertaken. But now you are free, so please live freely.”
“I know…I know. But it is so hard. For hundreds of years, there were days where I wanted nothing more than to let go. Now I have and I even have you by my side…but…”
“Several lifetimes worth of lessons in maintaining control cannot be easily forgotten,” Luna suggested, once again taking Celestia’s hooves in her own.
Celestia nodded. She was feeling better, but still felt a bit guilty. “Exactly, Lulu. I am sorry that I am making this holiday so miserable.”
“Not at all! This time of year is meant for family and reflection. Sitting here with you and talking…and…and being vulnerable. There are few times in our long lives that I have seen you like this. Do not be ashamed… perhaps had we had more talks such as this… things could have been different. So please, talk to me Tia, nopony should be ashamed to lean on their family, especially when they are as eager to listen as I am,” Luna insisted with an intense earnestness that Celestia adored.
“Then listen now, dear sister, when I say that I love you so much, and that nothing makes me happier than spending this holiday with you,” Celestia happily remarked with a newfound energy. She launched herself at Luna, wrapping her in a devastating bear hug, and nuzzling her once again.
“Now is not time to hide how you feel,” Luna whined, unsure if this sudden change in tone was a ruse to end the difficult conversation, “we were just making so much progress.”
Celestia snuggled closer, pleased to see that Luna was not putting up much of a fight to free herself. “I am not hiding how I feel Lulu, I am simply tired of this dreariness. I promise, we will have many discussions such as this in the future. But for now, let me smother my dear baby sister on this fine evening, we have much work to do tomorrow to prepare for our guest.”
Luna groaned as she slumped into her sister. There was another reason why the pair had taken up residence in their old castle. Since Twilight had taken over their roles, the siblings had begun a new tradition alongside Starswirl and the other Pillars. The group took turns hosting each other for Hearth’s Warming in locations around Equestria. After Somnambula’s exquisite hosting the year prior, Celestia insisted she was thoroughly “inspired”, although Luna would say she was more, “threatened,” or maybe, “challenged.” Nonetheless, Celestia sought to go big this year, and the pair had spent much of the holiday season preparing.
Hearing Luna’s unhappiness, Celestia hummed thoughtfully before reassuring her, “I am sorry that this holiday has been a lot of work. I do understand what this get together truly signifies. There are only so many ponies in the world who truly understand what we have experienced, and enjoying their company is one of the many perks of this retirement.”
“So, perhaps we can take it easy tomorrow and not push ourselves too hard,” Luna suggested with a hopeful smile.
Celestia let out a soft laugh and smiled back. “I guess so, Luna. Sometimes I am reminded of my propensity to be a tad bit controlling and tendency to try too hard to be the best… Just make sure to locate and destroy any other dark magic infused items made with ‘good intent’ before our guests get here, okay.”
“Very well sister,” Luna muttered.
Luna somehow felt more at ease at that moment than she had felt over the last few days in the old castle. On Celestia’s face, she recognized the same serene expression that often appeared in moments of intense calm between the two. Years' worth of emotions were entangled in that seemingly neutral expression, and Luna had grown well acquainted with it since her return a few years ago. In the early days after the end of her banishment, Celestia would often hold that serene expression than tell Luna how much she missed her or how happy she was to have her back. It was a sentiment that was equally as sweet as it was sad.
Luna could feel the comforting warmth that usually emanated from her sister as the last twinkles of moonlight seeped in through the stained-glass windows. The moon's position indicated that the siblings' time together had gone from late night to early morning.
Luna nuzzled her sister and spoke earnestly, “Happy Hearth’s Warming, dear sister. I am truly happy to be here with you.”
Celestia's neutral expression warmed into a small but authentic smile. Somewhere outside, the burgeoning sun was touching the horizon as fresh snow fell upon the earth. Celestia’s eyes glistened as she listened to her sister's simple but genuine words. Her many years in charge showed her what true mayhem and chaos looked like, so she knew peace when she felt it.
She lowered her head to try and get some rest before the sun fully rose, but before she did, she spoke with a quiet joy, “And a happy Hearth’s Warming to you, Luna.”