Princess and Dragon
Flurry Heart stuck her tongue out, tasting the snowflakes that blew in through the mouth of the cave. She wished it snowed like that in her kingdom. Maybe then she could have a real snow day.
But no, a princess doesn’t have time for snow days.
Restore the magic to the Crystal Heart just one time and suddenly everyone thought she was a saint. She didn’t have the guts to tell everyone she was just trying to recharge her spellphone so she could finish streaming her favorite Canterlot dramas.
“Princess, Princess, why so sad?” The voice behind her boomed and echoed, and not just because of the cave. “You are the guest of the great Galahad!”
The dragon dragged his tail before the entrance, trapping them in. He was a blue monstrosity and effortlessly picked her up with his claws.
“Oh, mighty dragon!” she shrieked. “Whyfor have thou captured us?”
“My hunger’s arisen, foretelling your death. I can know no peace without pony flesh.”
Flurry Heart continued wailing. “I’m trapped in your grasp, that much is true.” She raised her wings to block the sight of his wet, powerful jaws. “But I’m still a royal princess, so please do not lewd!”
“H—” the dragon stammered. He lifted his tail, letting a draft of air chill the cave and fill his nose with information from outside.
“Hark, your knight comes! We’ll fight in this cave until I have—”
“Cum?” Flurry Heart supplied the final rhyme.
“Won!” Galahad flustered. “Stop messing with me! Where was I? Uh, trapped in my grasp, yada-yada…” He mouthed his lines. “Ah! Your knight arrives like the heroes of old. I smell his Hatchet body spray,” Galahad wretched. “Sweet mother of dragons, his scent is too bold.”
“It’s lavender, you degenerate worm!” cried a voice from outside the cave. He gasped as he climbed as if from the grave. Donning a parka and steel picks, there wasn’t a problem this knight could not fix.
“Oh no,” Flurry said this time, breaking the rhyme, “Frostwall? Is that you? What are you doing here?”
“At the behest of your mother, it’s you I’ve come to rescue,” the knight announced, crawling up on the dragon’s tail. “So release the Crystal Princess, foul dragon, or else I shall slay you!”
“Flurry?” the dragon asked. “You know this guy?”
The princess rubbed her temples, thinking it through. Just her luck that, on the day she was having her first dragon date in eight months, her mother decided to send one of her favourite guards. With no other option, she wiggled out of Galahad’s claws and climbed up to his ear.
“Frostwall’s a friend, I don’t want to use force,” she whispered. “I’ll talk with him first. Just a chat, horse to horse.”
Galahad curled his lips back with a grin, showing his teeth. “Gonna keep rhyming?”
“Sorry, I was in the zone,” Flurry Heart giggled, and then flew down to the dragon’s tail to face her would-be knight. “Yo, Frostwall! What gives, dude?”
“I— what?” He looked at her, confused. “I heard the dragon’s menacing voice. Cadence asked me to follow, I didn’t have a choice.”
“We’re not doing the rhyming thing anymore, bro,” Galahad said, “you can stop.”
“Okay?” Frostwall lowered his ice picks. “Care to tell me what’s going on then? The guards spotted this dragon circling your bedroom, and then he just grabbed you out of nowhere.”
“Of course he did, we had to make it look convincing,” Flurry Heart said. “My parents would freak out if their perfect little girl was sneaking off with her dragon boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” the crystal pony gawked.
Flurry Heart sighed. “My point exactly. Speaking of which, we were rhyming to make Galahad sound like an old-timey villain. Why were you rhyming?”
“Well,” his eyes flicked around as he searched for an answer, “I figured I was going to be the hero, so might as well sound like one, right?’” He eyed Galahad, and then suddenly puffed up his chest. “Because that’s what I am, dragon! A knight of the princess!”
“You’re a door guard,” Flurry reminded him bluntly. “You guard the castle pantry.”
“Yeah? Ever seen any rats in there? No. I’m pretty good at what I do, that’s all I’m saying. That’s why I volunteered to take you home.”
“That’s not your call. I’m your princess, I order you to leave without me.”
“You know I can’t,” he said.
“My mom won’t blame you for running from a dragon.”
He still shook his head. “I mean I won’t. You’re a pony princess, you can’t have a dragon boyfriend.”
“Alicorns live for thousands of years. Who else am I going to date? You?”
“Well, it doesn’t have to be me, but would that be so bad?”
“What are you saying?” Flurry Heart’s eyes widened as soon as she asked because she knew what he meant. “Holy bucket of fucks! That is so gross!” She retreated behind Galahad’s tail tip, glaring at the guard fearfully. “We’re just friends, Frostwall.”
“For now,” he said, “but we already know each other so well.”
“No,” Flurry Heart said. “Think, Frostwall. Alicorns live for thousands of years. I don’t want to date someone knowing I’ll have to leave them behind after a few decades. I deserve to be with someone I can grow old with, and so do you. Even if, and that’s a big if, I were into like that, we wouldn’t work.”
“We could if we tried,” he pleaded.
“Go, Frostwall,” she said, her tone uncompromising.
Sad as he was, Frostwall left both alone. He had to report back, he had to go home.
Flurry Heart sighed and stared at her spell phone, wondering quietly if she should give her mother a call.
“Are you okay?” Galahad asked.
“I will be, soon, once this has all passed.”
“Want me to pop the popcorn?”
She nodded.
Then through the night, though the blizzard’s winds’ howls were shrill, the princess and dragon could finally watch Ponyflix and chill.