Pinkie and some of her multiversal friends crash a bunch of infamous fanfiction.
While browsing the internet, Pinkie finds a bunch of interesting stories about her and her friends. Multiple which depict her and her friends in disturbing seanarios or as a bunch of "mane-iacs". (get it?) And Pinkie Pie isn't happy. So she gathers an odd unlikely group from around the multiverse together to travel to these alternate universe crash the party. (Open to suggestions! This is also partially inspired by "Cupcakes A$$ Kicking" by thewaffler.)
To say Pinkie Pie was simply just "not particularly pleased" when she found out about Cupcakes is putting it nicely.
But she didn't mind too much after a while.
After all, it was just one simple poorly written story in a sea of other stories made by the fandom on the internet. So at the time, Pinkie Pie didn't let the "Cupcakes" story get to her that much. She simply laughed it off like anypony would expect her to. Besides, she would never hurt Dashie, or anypony else for that matter! Anypony with a couple of braincells and have met Pinkie Pie for at least a few minutes would know. Pinkie did have to hand it to Sergeant Sprinkles though, he knew how to make a chilling story!
Then she found Smile HD.
Much like the last time, Pinkie did her best to keep her morale and spirits high and not let it get to her. Once again, it was just something made to scare little fillies. It wasn't like the fans were purposefully targeting her and her friends for this stuff, right? Every fandom has it's ups and downs.
And then Bittersweet.
Pinkie was having a more and more rough time trying to shrug them off. Even if the story didn't have her slaughtering her friends and famiy, it was always her being the fandom's little punching bag. Oh well. she though, sighing. At least it's just me. Pinkie thought about that statement a couple times before shaking it off. "No, don't think like that, Pinkie Pie!" she asserted. "It's just the fact that you're one of the main characters. It's fine. Thiese kind of things probably happens to lots of other cartoon characters out there."
Rainbow Factory.
Pinkie Pie sighed. Of course the fandom wouldn't just settle for just her being the one that's twisted up to be a terrible horrible menace. But to say she never saw it coming would be an understatement. After all, Dash always ended up being the one of the victims during the most of the Pinkie centered "fan"fics, (whether it be by brutal death or some other thing), so it was only natural she would her turn to be the killer. And, again, she is also a part of the main cast. "At least Rainbow didn't take it too harsh when she found out. She thought it was one the funniest things in all of Equestria that somepony would spend time writing such a thing!" Pinkie giggled to herself.
Muffins.
Pinkie's eyes widened. Somepony brought DERPY into this!? Pinkie though, frantically. I-I mean, I get the twisting up me and Dashie thing cause we are part the main cast of characters but-
Always the Quiet Ones.
F-FLUTTERSHY!? Pinkie thought frantically. You of all ponies know that Fluttershy is way more sensitive than me, OR Dash! She probably wouldn't take it as lightly if she saw this. Not by a long shot! She'll probably hide herself in her cottage and hide under the bed with her animal friends like it's Nightmare night, but instead of staying down there for one night, she stays down there FOREVER! What if-
Sweet Apple Massacare
O-ok, AJ would probably take this the same way Dash did, but that doesn't make any of this any more ok!
Bittersweet
Ok, no full on killer in this one, but why with the deaths!? WHY!? What do you fans gain fro-
Rocket to Insanity
Sequels!? There are SEQUELS to this stuff now!? What is WRO-
The Penalty of Rejecting Friendship
No. Please no more. We had our happy ending in the grande finale! Why must you go out of your way to-
The House on the Hill
Stop. Stop. STOP.
Masterpiece
Stop it, stop it, stop it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH-
Chimichangas and Cupcakes
NO-wait, what?
A Day with Pinkie Pie and Ronald McDonald
"Hey, I reme-"
Cupcakes A$$ Kicking
"..."
Pinkie sat in her room quietly, as she started scrolling through the story. As she did, a mischevious idea formed in her head. An idea that just might solve her big problem. She tapped the computer skin a couple times before chuckling to herself.
"Thanks, 'thewaffler'. You've just given me a great idea." Pinkie said, as she reached upwards as she began to look for some things she had hidden in her mane. "If you were somepony here in Equestria, I would have to throw you a 'thanks-for-the-super-duper-awesome-idea-why-didn't-I-think-of-that' party!"
Eventually, Pinkie struck gold as she pulled out the three things she was looking for. (It took a while, okay? My mane was all messy after I nearly had that existencial crisis looking at all those gorey fanfics, and I have hooves!) The items were as follows:
A special communicator made to look like a Chimichanga, A phone number for a small detective crew, and a golden teleporter.
Sundae the Dog in the living room with a bag of popcorn in his paws. He watched intently as the dinosaur inched closer to the hidden scientist and his wife.
"I told you not to mess with nature's course, Steven!" whispered the wife.
"I had to, Natalie! It was for SCIENCE!" Professor Steven remarked back.
"Well, now your little science project has us."
Suddenly, the living room door swung open with a loud crash, causing the dog fall off the couch in fear.
"Woah, Sundae, it's me!" Ronald laughed as he walked into the living room, glancing around at the now very messy state of his living room.
Ronald glanced at the TV. "Hey, no wonder you're so scared. You're gonna get nightmares watching that stuff."
Sundae propped himself back up. "Well, I can't stop now. The dinosaur is about to discover Madame Natalie and Professor Steven." Ronald raised his eyebrows at that. "Hey, is that 'Attack of the Dinosaurs? Why didn't you tell me? I LOVE that movie!" Ronald quickly rushed to join Sundae to watch the movie when...
Ring Ring Ring
Ronald rushed upward, eyes widening. "Thaat's the alarm for unathourized entry to the McDonalds Mansion!" He cried. He then swiftly shut off the TV, as he reached into his pocket, pulling out the McMansion Master Controller, to render the entire place on lockdown until he heard a very familliar voice.
"Ronald, wait! It's me!"
Ronald spun around to see his old pony friend, Pinkie Pie, standing right behind him.
"Oh, hey!" Ronald greeted, quickly overcoming his panic. "What brings you back to McDonaldLand Pinkie?"
Pinkie smiled. "I'll explain everything later, but for now we need to meet up at 314, 24 in the Multiversal Limbo Realm. You're free right?"
Ronald's jaw dropped. "Well, I suppose I could go, bu-"
"GREAT! We'll see you then, buddy!"
"But who's we-"
Ronald didn't get to finish what he was saying, as Pinkie dissapeared. The clown sighed in exasperation as he dusted himself off. "Welp. Multiverse, here I come!"
After quite the journey through the multiverse, (mostly consisting of lots of time warping, reality buffering, and trying not to get hit by a flying police box), Ronald eventually made it to the desired coordinates Pinkie had instructed him to go to. When he got there however, Ronald was greeted with a reality tear.
"Nani?" Ronald asked, as he inspected the reality tear.
"Was this what Pinkie wanted me to see?" he proceeded to go through it, (with extreme caution), only to be greeted with solid ground again, standing in a brightly lit, and brightly decorated meeting room. Pinkie was seated, along with two people with her, both snacking. One wore a green shirt and had a messy hair cut, while the second had two swords and other equipment fitted nicely on his back, wearing what seemed to be some sort of super hero costume.
"Ronald!" Pinkie cheered. "You made it." She gestured to the two people sitting along the table. "This is Shaggy," she gestured to the green shirted one to her left. "And this is Deadpool!" she gestured to the costumed one on the right.
"Like, glad you could make it dude!" Shaggy greeted.
"Hey, you're here! Care for a chimichanga?" Deadpool offered.
"Perhaps some other time." Ronald replied, sitting in the only vacant seat at the table as Deadpool then directed his attention to Pinkie.
"Hey, Pinks, you mind if I explain to this clown what's going on here?" he asked. "Sure!" Pinkie replied.
Deadpool turned back to address Ronald again. "So anyway," he started. "based on the two explanations that Pinkie told me and Shaggy when we got here, (which happened off screen so the readers don't get to see it), and including the synopsis thingy at the beginning for this story, she gathered us all her to become like one, giant big multiverse police force thingy. Where we travel the multiverse and explore parallel universes that the fans out there made up or something."
"Like, some sort of incrediblly unorganized multiverse hopping police force. Except we just interfere with other stories and technically just ruin the gore or climax of them." Shaggy said, cutting in.
Ronald nodded in understanding. "But, isn't there already an unorganized multiverse hopping police force out here? I mean, I nearly got hit by a flying police box on my way over here!"
"Oooh!" Pinkie drawled, cutting in. 'You mean the Doctor and Derpy? Yeah, they go around the multiverse, but it's not really the same, since we are basically traveling to alternate universes and stuff, while I'm pretty sure Derpy and the Doctor just head through timelines. So, you in?"
Shaggy, Deadpool, and Pinkie stared at Ronald, waiting for his answer.
"Well, if it'll help out a friend, I don't see why not."
Pinkie beamed.
"Great! Now here's our assignments." Pinkie slide three envelopes to the three, as she kept one for herself. "I've assigned us each a story to crash. Thanks to the help of Twilight's computer, I've also printed out the original story in question, allowing us to pick when and where you would like to intervine. There's also a little tablet in there where you can pick your own story you want to crash in case you finish early and get bored." She glanced at Shaggy when she mentioned the last part.
The air was warm, the sun was shining, and everypony in Ponyville of universe NT0R1US was having a glorious day. The town square was bustling and crowded and busy ponies filled the streets. All the pony folk seemed to have somewhere specific to be. All except Rainbow Dash; her place was in the sky. She tore freely through the air, speeding one way, and the next, buzzing tree tops and racing the winds. The blue pegasus dove over a school yard, much to the delight of the little fillies who watched in awe, then climbed several hundred feet and dove, streaking downwards as fast as she could, just shy of a Rainbooming. Seconds before hitting the ground, her wings flew open and she pulled back into the clear blue. Rainbow felt alive.
If things work out the way I hope they will, it'll stay that way.
Suddenly Dash remembered she had somewhere to be; she was supposed to meet P̸̞̘̐ȉ̵̟ͅn̶͓̄́k̷͙̼̇i̷̦͕̕e̴̖̤̕ ̶̞̈Ṗ̸̣͋ị̷̤̌͝e̴͕͘̕ in five minutes. Dash had gotten so caught up in her exercises that she had forgotten that P̶̖̏͝i̴̘̣͆̈n̷̛͆͜k̵̼̓͑ȉ̸̖̚e̶̘̿̄ had asked to meet her at Suger Cube Corner at three. P̶̖̏͝i̴̘̣͆̈n̷̛͆͜k̵̼̓͑ȉ̸̖̚e̶̘̿̄ hadn't said why or what they would be doing, but Dash knew that with Pinkie, it could be anything. Dash wasn't sure if she really wanted to go though. Yeah, come one Dash. Just keep having fun and flying. P̶̖̏͝i̴̘̣͆̈n̷̛͆͜k̵̼̓͑ȉ̸̖̚e̶̘̿̄ won't mind if you blow her off this once. She could just reschedule! She was so engaged with her stunts that she thought about blowing off P̶̖̏͝i̴̘̣͆̈n̷̛͆͜k̵̼̓͑ȉ̸̖̚e̶̘̿̄ and continue flying. Yes, Dashie. Blow it off!!! But, her concious got to the better of her. Why!? She knew that it would hurt Pinkie's feelings; after all, Pinkie said it would be something special just for the two of them. No, Dash, no! If you knew what was coming next you wouldn't consider a sliver of mercy for that P̶̖̏͝i̴̘̣͆̈n̷̛͆͜k̵̼̓͑ȉ̸̖̚e̶̘̿̄! Dash considered it and thought, "why not?" What did she have to lose? Your life. Heck, it might be more pranking. Pinkie might have found a bunch more fun stuff to pull on folks, and they'd had so much fun the last time. That's going to be the last time you'll ever consider her a friend. Dash kicked into overdrive to make up for lost time, and sped to her appointment.
Pinkie Pie had buried her head in her hooves as she gave a long, drawled out sigh of exasperation. "Really, Dash? Really?" she asked, staring through the reality portal into 'NT0R1US'. "All those times you've decided to blow me off because you didn't like my pies, or all those other times you decided to be so self centered...the one time I need you to be self centered is when you decide to do the right thing?" She yelled. But she recieved no answer; aside from the varying noises of hums coming from the many other reality portals surrounding her, all leading to one different from the last. Pinkie glanced around for a moment. "So many possibilities, so many cool stories to tell! And then there's this stuff." she groaned, redirecting her attention to the portal of the universe in question. "I really didn't want to physically interfere like this." she sighed. "I mean, who knows what could happen? I was hoping I could do this by altering the path of the story to convince Dash not to go from here, but..." Pinkie stuck her hoof through the portal, watching go straight through the magic portal seamlessly as if it were a water.
Magic.
Water.
Magic water.
Pond.
Magic pond.
"Pool..."
A bright idea suddenly appeared in her head unexpectedly as she began to make her way through. "I just got a great idea."
"Measuring cups...check!" P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ took out the measuring cups she would need. "Mixing bowl? Check!" She reached into the dish washer, which had just finished it's cycle, as she pulled out two freshly clean mixing bowls. "Wooden spoons, cooling racks, non-stick cupcake trays...yup, yup and yup!" She pulled those out too. "Your average ingredients for your casual normal cupcakes? Check!" P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ dug through the pantry and fridge to find the ingredients she needed. "Let's see...flour, salt, baking powder, vanilla essence/extract, eggs, chocolate, candy, sugar, extra sugar, and extra extra sugar! Got 'em all!" She quickly plopped everything onto the counter. "Free basement space for the not average ingredients for your casual normal cupcakes? I cleared the last guy out earlier, so yep! Everything else needed to bake stuff? Got those too! Drug the cupcake you're gonna give Dashie? Already done!"
The baker giggled to herself as she quickly went through her 'totally normal checklist for baking cupcakes with Rainbow Dash' checklist, as she prepared for her pegasus friends' arrival. She was late again, but she didn't mind. "Probably still doing her exercise routines" she thought. She went slack. "Wait one second..." She glanced at the clock and studied it. It was almost three. She frowned. "She should be around done right now..." she murmured. P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ quickly glanced at the window behind her to see if she could see Rainbow anywhere. Nothing. Zip. No sign of the rainbow mare anywhere. "She can't be on to me, can she? If she is...how?"
Rainbow Dash was in utter confusion. Just a few moments ago, her day was going just fine. She was in the middle of doing her morning exercises in the skies of Ponyville, and then remembered she had to meet P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ at Sugar Cube Corner for something. And now here she was, somewhere in the Everfree Forest, in some weird underground place, in front a cool magic pond thing, and she happened to be here with a pony who claimed to be the real Pinkie Pie. "So," Rainbow Dash started. "You're telling me, that you are the real Pinkie Pie..."
"Yup!" The Pinkie in front of her started nodding vigorously.
"...and you went to this mirror pool to make a duplicate of yourself so you could do things twice as fast," Rainbow continued.
"Uh huh!"
"But then the other Pinkie clone went insane and trapped you down here, as she steals your life back up in Ponyville, and is basically killing ponies and are using them as ingredients for her cupcakes."
"That's pretty much how the (new) story goes."
Rainbow Dash glared at Pinkie. "And how do I know that you're not evil and insane as well, and you're not gonna kill me too? And how do I know this isn't some sick prank, Pinkie Pie?" She asked, seriously.
Pinkie lifted her right hoof up. "I Pinkie Promise that I am not evil and insane and well turn you into pastries or kill you. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cu-" She was cut off by Rainbow Dash, who stuck her hoof into her mouth, scilencing her.
"Okay, I believe you on that one. Though, maybe not mention cupcakes right now..." Rainbow made a face, looking like she was about to become very ill.
"Oh. Right." Pinkie said sheepishly.
"And another thing," Dash stated; "How do i know this isn't just some sick, twisted prank, Pinkie?"
Pinkie's face fell. "I was hoping you would never ask..." she murmered. She reached into her mane and pulled out some photographs. "Here are some pictures of Sugar Cube Corner's basement after she took over. Not even the Cakes know about this operation."
Rainbow picked up the photographs and her face scrunched up in disgust. The room walls were decorated with the typical Pinkie Pie flare, but twisted in disturbing ways. Streamers of dried vocal chords lined the roof, brightly colored skulls of every shape and size were on the walls. Insides done in pastel inflated with helium were tied to back of chairs. Chairs which were made of-
Rainbow Dash tore up the photographs horror. She had only barely glanced at one of them before feeling as if she was about to throw up. She turned to Pinkie Pie, who was sitting patiently staring at her. "Hey, Dashie? Your face is red." she stated plainly.
Rainbow Dash blinked. "Is it?" She peered over to look at her reflection in the mirror pool and saw that it was indeed, red. "Well, duh." Rainbow Dash started. "It's an absolute madhouse in there! That imposter doesn't deserve to call herself by the same name as you, Pinkie! We need to stop this madness once and for all! For the sake of Equestria!"
Pinkie could only smile. "Glad we're on the same page, Rainbow. We just need a plan." Rainbow Dash looked up from the mirror pool back up to her pink friend. She had mischevious glint in her eye and prankster grin that Pinkie could recognize almost immediately.
"That killer was a pretty good con artist. She had us all fooled. Why don't we try a little foolery of our own?"
Later
P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ was greeted with the ding of the front door to the bakery. She quickly rushed to the front of the shop to see Dashie there, waiting for her. "RAINBOW DASH!' She cheered. "YOU'RE HERE!" Dashie scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "Hey, sorry. I got so caught up in flying, I forgot about everything else." she said.
The party pony scoffed at that. "Don't worry about it, Rainbow I know how much you love your stunts, and flying...so I don't mind too much. Besides, you're here now. What's a few more minutes? I was really worried that you decided to ditch me earlier, especially considering all the great things I have planned! I'm so excited! Come on, follow me to the back." Dashie gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh as she followed her friend. She appreciated the baker to be so outgoing about spending time with her, but to say the overabundant energy that seemed to radiate from this Pinkie didn't slightly creep her out would be a lie. She did her best to maintain a polite expression and keep the conversation going, though.
"So, Pinks, what'cha got in store this time? We gonna prank somepony? I got a couple good ones lined up. Or maybe you have some stunts you think I should try out? Ooh, maybe I could show you something else I've-"
"Baking?" the rainbow pegasus frowned. "Oh, come on! You know I'm not the baking type!"
"Come on, don't worry about it! I only need your help making them. I'll be doing most of the work." P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ pursuaded.
"But that doesn't sound any fun either!" RD complained. "I thought the whole fun of baking was the hands on experience thing last time."
"Well, yeah, that's part of the fun too, but helping can be just as fun!" P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ tried
"But baking needs math, and measuring, and numbers, and a bunch of other boring stuff. You know that sort of stuff isn't for me!" Dash countered. "Besides," she continued. "what if I give you the wrong amount of ingredients and the cakes taste awful? Or what if I gave you the right amount of stuff, but the wrong ingredient all together and they end up tasting even worse? OR what if some egghead science thingy happens and the batter explodes from some chemical mixing science thing?" Dashie gave the table a loud thud to emphasize her point.
The pink mare sighed. "Calm down, Dash! I've got the right ingredients on the counter all ready so there will be no mistakes. Plus, I could help you with the measuring too, if you really need that much help."
The pegasus still looked slightly perplexed.
P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ smiled comfortingly "If it makes you feel any better, I tested out the recipe before hand too to make sure no major science Twilight-y explosion thingy happens this time around. So nopony is going to get hurt this time." That last part was obviously untrue, but her rainbow friend was making this surprisingly difficult. Pinkie than pulled out a previously prepared cupcake. She waved the cupcake in Dashie's face. "Wanna try it and make sure it tastes good?"
Rainbow smiled warmly, all her doubts seemingly melting away, much to Pinkie's delight. "Sure, why not?" As her friend reached for the pastry, however, she noticed something odd. "What's that?" she asked, pointing at a suspicious vile sitting on the kitchen counter. P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ glanced at it as well, her eyes widening momentarily.
The drug. she realized. Her eyes glanced from the vile to the cupcake. Did I not inject...? She plopped the cupcake down on the counter before Rainbow could continue to reach for it as she pulled out her checklist in a rush.
P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ facehoofed internally. How did she forget to drug the cupcake!?
"Yo, Pinkie? You okay?" P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ was brought back to reality at the sound of her friend's voice. She turned to face her friend. "Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine! Sorry, just, uh, double checking my baking list to make sure I didn't forget anything...crucial. Her eyes wavered on the vile. Rainbow felt her doubts about the whole baking thing rise back up again.
"Is it serious?" She began.
P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ stared at her. "Oh, of course not. I just forot to put the, uh, 'secret Pinkie Pie filling' into the cupcake before giving it to you! It's what gives my cupcakes their signature taste! But it's a secret, so don't tell anypony!" She chuckled nervously. She then proceeded to grab the vile and inject it into the cupcake. "There." she sighed. She proceeded to gesture the cupcake back to her friend. "Sorry about all that, guess I got ahead of myself due to all of the excitement."
Dashie forced a smile as she took the pastry from the Pinkie. "Nah, it's fine. Happens to the best of us." She proceeded to pop the pastry into her mouth and chewed it a bit before swallowing. Not bad.
"Hmmm. Pretty good." she said. "Alright, what's next?"
"Now," Pinkie informed her, "You take a nap."
Earlier
"I still can't believe how sick this is."
Rainbow Dash stared in awe at her duplicate, having just seen her rise from the depths of the mirror pool. "You know, I really doubted this was real, but...wow..." The two Rainbow Dash paced around each other carefully, both mimicing each other's movements, both seeming very bewildered. One Rainbow Dash raised her hoof, and the other did the same. One put it down, and the other did the same. "It really is like looking in a mirror!"
The second Rainbow Dash grimanced, seemingly breaking the 'parallel allignment' thing they had going. "I dunno," she said. "Am I really that fat?"
The first Rainbow blinked, before fully registering what the other had said.. "HEY! I am not fat!" she protested
Pinkie giggled at the scene in front of her. "Okay," she began. "If you came from the mirror pool, raise your hoof."
The first Rainbow raised her hoof in the air.
"GREAT! You will now be referred to as 'Dashie' until this whole mess is over and dealt with. You all remember the plan, right?"
Dashie shook her head as Rainbow gave a groan. She may look like me, but she definetly not as smart as I am. Probably 20% less cool, or awesome than I am too. she thought smugly. Rainbow turned to her duplicate. "Basically," she informed her. "Your job is to walk into Sugar Cube Corner and distract the evil Pinkie for us, while me and the real Pinkie loop around and try to infiltrate through the back."
"Uh huh!" Pinkie said. "Just keep talking and stall her. Me and Rainbow will handle the rest. Make sure her plan never moves forward, or at the very least, moves forward incredibly slowly. Oh, and take this." She handed Dashie a vile filled with an odd paste.
"What's this?" Dashie asked curiously.
"It's some filling I made." Pinkie answered. "I did my best to make sure it matched the color of her sleeping drug. Slip this onto the counter when she starts mentioning her cupcake recipe. If we're lucky, she'll be fooled and inject this into the cupcake instead of the sleeping drug."
"But what if she already did that?" Rainbow asked.
Pinkie smirked. "Don't worry about that part. I already took care of it." she said sneakily.
Both Rainbows shared a look.
"But anyway," Pinkie continued. "What do you say we get this party rolling?"
Rainbow, Pinkie, and Dashie all brought their hooves together.
"3, 2, 1...Team!"
Pinkie and Rainbow Dash watched from within a bush as Dashie made her way into Sugar Cube Corner. They heard the cheering voice of the second Pinkie from inside the shop. "RAINBOW DASH!' She cheered. "YOU'RE HERE!" Rainbow Dash ground her teeth together in anger.
"Listen to her, Pinkie." she 'whisper-shouted' over to said mare. "Listen to that imposter so casually greet everypony with a cheery expression and a smile, as if nothing is wrong." Pinkie said nothing. They both watched as Dashie and P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ made their way into the kitchen and out of sight before making climbing out of the bush. Rainbow turned to Pinkie again. "Alright, 'Dashie', (ugh, it's still so weird having to say my own name like that), is in position. Now how do we get into the basment?"
Pinkie turned to Dash. "I have a Pinkie-hunch. And if my Pinkie-hunch is correct, I think I know what to do. Come on." So Rainbow followed Pinkie as they both made their way to the back of Sugar Cube Corner. "Aha! Just as my Pinkie-hunch suspected. It's right here."
Rainbow Dash stared at where Pinkie was pointing. "Pinkie? That's just a patch of grass."
"What?" Pinkie asked. "Oh, wait..." She reached down and to Rainbow's surprise, slide her hoof through a small crack between the patch of grass and the rest of the ground, peeling it off, revealing a locked pink door underneath. Rainbow could only stare in shock.
"Wh-what?" she stuttered.
"Eh," Pinkie shrugged. It's just a security measure to make sure noone can find the cellar entrance, which is right here. And once we get in, we cane make it to the basment!" Pinkie poked and prodded at the lock a couple times. "Normally, we need the cellar key to open this, which I'm pretty sure is with the other Pinkie, or somewhere in her room. I have my own, but..." She reached into her mane and pulled out a key, attempting to use it to unlock the cellar door. "Horseapples!" she cried. "It's not the same lock. Alright, let's try to-"
Rainbow Dash's eyes brightened. "Wait just a moment..." Rainbow inspected the lock on the door. "I recognize this brand! It's the same type of lock they used back for the lockers in flight camp! MUGEN locks!" she exclaimed
Pinkie gave a confused look before shaking it off. Different universe, different stuff.
"Me and Gilda used to break into other ponies' lockers all the time as pranks!" Rainbow continued. "Despite how long it's been, I think I still remember...." Rainbow trailed off as she picked up a paperclip off the ground and attempted to twist and turn it. Once she was done, she tried to unlock the door with her lock pick.
Click
Pinkie and Rainbow smiled, as they now attempted to open the very heavy cellar doors.
---
"But that doesn't sound any fun either!" Dashie complained. "I thought the whole fun of baking was the hands on experience thing last time."
"Well, yeah, that's part of the fun too, but helping can be just as fun!" P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ tried
"But baking needs math, and measuring, and numbers, and a bunch of other boring stuff. You know that sort of stuff isn't for me!" She countered. "Besides," she continued. "what if I give you the wrong amount of ingredients and the cakes taste awful?" Dashie paused, as she strained to see through the window on the outside, just barely making out the forms of her duplicate and Pinkie struggling to get something up. She continued talking, hoping the pink mare in front of her would be distracted enough to not turn around. "What if I gave you the right amount of stuff, but the wrong ingredient all together and they end up tasting even worse? OR what if some egghead science thingy happens and the batter explodes from some chemical mixing science thing?" Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the thing that Rainbow and Pinkie were pushing begin to tip over, and it looked heavy. Dashie's eyes widened as she slammed her hoof onto the counter, hoping it would be loud enough to conceal the noise. She glanced back over to P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋, who sighed.
"Calm down, Dash! I've got the right ingredients on the counter all ready so there will be no mistakes. Plus, I could help you with the measuring too, if you really need that much help."
Phew.
"Come on, Pinkie...we're almost there!" Rainbow encouraged, as they both pushed on the heavy cellar doors before they gave way and opened with a loud slam. The two cringed as they gave a glance towards the kitchen window, praying that the psycho inside didn't notice. She didn't. Pinkie and Rainbow celebrated with a high five. "Come on, inside, quickly." Pinkie said. Then, they both jumped into the cellar.
When Rainbow Dash jumped into the cellar with Pinkie, she had expected to be greeted with the putrid smell of blood, or the terrifying decorations that she had seen in the photographs. Not crates of food supplies, sugar, baking utinsiles, etc. "What's going on?" Rainbow asked, confused. "Where's all the blood and stuff?"
Pinkie pointed to another door behind them marked 'basement.' "This is the cellar," she said. "where the crates of ingredients go, or shipments of candy and the such. The true horror is in the basement. But we probably shouldn't go in there, especially considering how you acted with just the photographs." Rainbow cringed. "Besides, I have just what we need, anyway." Rainbow looked to an already open crate Pinkie was next to, which was filled with viles and syringes. Lots of them.
Rainbow gasped. "Is that?"
"Yep." Pinkie said. "The sleeping drug she's been using on her victims. Let's see how she likes it."
---
As Pinkie and Rainbow crept up the stairs and out of the cellar, they heard Dashie and the pshycho baker still chatting away in the kitchen. Way to go, Dashie. Rainbow thought internally. Not bad for someone 20% less cooler than I am. Not bad at all. She and Pinkie peeked around the corner just in time to see Dashie take the 'drugged' cupcake from P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋. Dashie locked eyes with Pinkie and her duplicate. They both gave a nod. This was it.
Dashie swallowed the cupcake before continuing the conversation.
"Hmmm. Pretty good." She said. "What's next?"
Pinkie and Rainbow smiled. This was it.
Before P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ had the chance to answer Dashie's question, though, Pinkie finished it for her.
"Now," she declared. "You take a nap."
P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋'s eyes widened as she spun around in horror. This ended up being a massive mistake on her part, allowing Dashie to catch her in a chokehold. Then, Rainbow Dash surged forward and unleashed a flurry of hoof punches at the psycho, before Pinkie rushed in and attempted to stab her with her own sleeping drug. However, P̶͙̓̓i̶̘͗̈͜n̸̯͇̏k̶̛̠̝͌ḭ̷͍̌̓e̸̳͋ broke free of Dashie's chokehold before the drug was injected into her, causing Pinkie to accidentally inject Dashie instead, who than puffed up and exploded from the syringe. The blast shot the still disoriented baker killer off her hooves and onto the ground next to the open oven. Rainbow and Pinkie, (who were merely startled by the blast) then quickly ran and tackled down P̶̖̏͝i̴̘̣͆̈n̷̛͆͜k̵̼̓͑ȉ̸̖̚e̶̘̿̄ before shoving her into the oven and cranking the heat. The psycho gone for good.
Pinkie Pie cringed from beyond the reality portal. It wasn't quite how she wanted things to go, and the ending was still slightly traumatizing, and the whole thing was slightly wishy washy, but she got the job done. Rainbow Dash was alive, and as a bonus, the NT0R1US timeline got a better Pinkie Pie that wasn't a psycho murderer. Sure, she had to lie a bit here and there, but it was for a life or death thing. And besides, fillies have seen people get burned alive in ovens before. I mean, look at the Hansel and Gretel story!
