There Can Be Only One
Welcome back to Sunday fight night!! We're here in the center of Ponyville where the most gruesome and outrageous fight is underway. I'm your host, Discord, the handsome and sexy draconequus. And beside me is my co-host, the lovable few-worded stallion, Big Macintosh.
Eeyup.
And we're here to bring you commentary on the most dangerous fight that has ever been in Equestria's history. I'm talking more terrifying than my fight with Celestia and Luna.
Exactly.
And all for the heart of the illustrious shortcake small fry, tiny insignificant creature, Spike the Dragon.
Eeyup.
But enough talk about the epicness, let's get onto the proceedings, while I force everypony in Equestria to watch through my fancy remote that commands all their TVs.
Is that legal?
Not at all. When we last left off Rarity had finished trampling Sweetie Belle's skull right into the ground so hard she has yet to get up. And on the other side of the battle, my dear Fluttershy is being swung around like a nunchuck by Ember. Meanwhile, no one has seen much of Gabby since they flung her about ninety stories into the air during the fifth hour of the battle. And Smolder is trying her best to dodge both Rarity and Ember. Let's watch to see who's truly going to win.
This battle has been going on too long.
Come on, ladies, this is for Spike!! And with that, the two charge back in. Rarity might be a master of gem and stress control magic but even she’s being kept on the edge of her hooves during this fight. Meanwhile, all Fluttershy can do is scream in absolute terror. And to think she just wanted to stop this fight, but she let slip she found the little dragon cute. Such a shame for collateral damage.
Eeyup.
Hold on, we've got more problems as Sweetie Belle is getting back up. I thought for sure she would stay down. But she's rushing over to the mud. She just tosses it right in her sister's mane. Rarity is weeping in terror, allowing Ember to get a hit using Fluttershy's body. Rarity kicks forward with a patented Applejack back kick.
Ouch...
And with those broken ribs Fluttershy is out. Poor mare barely put up a fight at all and was mostly used as a weapon. Looks like Rarity couldn’t recover from the recoil. This might be the best chance for Sweetie Belle to fight the dragon herself...
That's a lot of blood.
Wow, I didn't think Sweetie Belle's brain would pop out so easily. Smolder charges in using Sweetie Belle’s body as a brace, crushing it into Ember's chest and plowing them both into the ground. That short little dragon is just trying her best to stay in this fight. She's taking Ember by the horns and just riding her like a bull right into the mud.
Mud fight.
Let's add more mud to make it way more fun. Oh, my little stunt just flooded the area. They didn't like that at all. Luckily, I and my co-host are huddled inside a bubble of Emperfectium. Speaking of which, that's our sponsor today. Use Emperfectium if you want to hide from fights with rivals or that certain ex. Emperfectium is an elastic bubble that contains you and at least three others in complete safety.
Better than glass.
Now let's get back to the fight as Rarity jumps back up and takes on both dragons at once. She's no longer caring about modesty as she bites down on Smolder’s tail. The small dragon is spitting full on dragon fire. That stuff is far more dangerous then normal fire. Rarity is using that to push back Ember. She returns the favor bringing this battle to a boil.
This is very sexy.
Actually, I prefer a certain white cake munching alicorn. But we're not here to talk about my sex life, we're here to talk about this battle. And as back when Fluttershy was the punching bag of this fight, Smolder is quickly becoming as such. The poor little dragon is slowly being cooked alive by the two dragon flames.
Smells like chicken.
With that Smolder is dead… medium rare too. Looks like we're back to where the fight started with Rarity and Ember for the last bout. Ember charges in with the full force of her claws. She's ready to rip that mare apart. No more holding back, this is where it ends.
Nope.
You're right. As Ember digs into the mare's flesh, out of the sky the impossible is flying right towards us. The sight of it is so incredible I think I can hear a certain rainbow mane shrieking in jealousy.
Rainboom.
From above, Gabby crashes down knocking us all back. And with that massive hit Ember has been impaled through the chest by those griffin talons. Gabby, stuck up in the sky during most of this match, has returned with avengeance. However, Rarity while beaten and battered, and missing an eye, is still standing.
It’s so close.
With both of them severely injured this could go either way.
Fight... Fight… Fight...
Sounds like my co-host is really getting pumped for this twist. And with the perfect snap of my fingers everypony in the nearest area shall get the best seats. As everything draws to a close, we shall lay witness to the end of this epic finale.
Eeyup.
Gabby and Rarity charge with blood streaming from their bodies as they delivered the final hit. Both of them have clashed with incredible forces. It's creating light, shining so bright it’s blinding most of us. I've got the best pair of sunglasses just for such an occasion.
Holt.
Wait, Spike has finally returned from gathering his stuff and is ready to leave.
Shocking twist?
Yes, and by his side is none other than... Button Mash. And are their arms crossed? This is the most unexpected moment of all. This fight was so pointless as Spike leaves town with a gamer!