The eponymous Anonymous, from greentexts of yore, wakes up to find Equestria changed beyond his recognition. He tries to come to grips with this new reality as a group of friendly new ponies try to dig up the secrets from his complicated past.
The eponymous Anonymous, from greentexts of yore, wakes up to find Equestria changed beyond his recognition. He tries to come to grips with this new reality as a group of friendly new ponies try to dig up the secrets from his complicated past.
This is a "Human in Equestria" story told in second-person. There are strong sexual themes but no explicit clop scenes. To get the most out of this story, it is recommended to have at least a passing familiarity with "Anonymous in Equestria" fanfiction and common fandom headcanon from the first few seasons of Friendship is Magic.
Here's to the ride. May it never end.
Chapter 1 - The Ride Stopped But The Park Never Closed
It was, for better or worse, mutual. Consensual. Twilight would get to have her kingdom, her family. All of Equestria. And you would fuck off back to your own life, and never have to deal with the endless parade of bullshit again.
You remember her and the other princesses performing the ritual on you. The crystal that crept up your motionless, numb body. Sleep forever in stone. Wake up in the place before. That was the plan.
And, surprisingly, it happened.
In an instant, that chapter of your life closed. Your alarm went off. You woke up.
You checked the date. No time had passed. Like it was all one incredibly long dream.
You spent the whole day in an oblivious stupor. You turned off your phone and took a shower that lasted three hours. As you sat down in the steam, you half-expected to feel a hoof on your shoulder, or the glow of a horn in the mist.
But nopony ever came.
You had chills and then developed a fever. You slept for sixteen hours straight that night. Deep, dreamless sleep.
The next day, the pain had subsided. You felt alright. You got up, dressed up and looked outside. For once you didn’t have to worry about some pastel blob knocking at your door, or trying to ram their way into your life. For the first time in a long time, you stepped out out of your front door and took a breath of fresh Earth air.
Your life... was back.
Nine years passed. And on a warm September night, you went to bed feeling content. You no longer feared the morning alarm, or the sudden return to a forgotten dream.
Peace.
And yet. Somehow, in the morning you awoke to the gentle noise of thousands of leaves rushing in a dense, forest canopy. The calls of birds and frogs echoed across a verdant landscape. Another dream of the past overtaken you.
Then you feel the pain. A sharp pain, right in your head.
Your vision clears. The sunlight pours through gaps in the patterns of ever-shifting leaves. Your head is pounding as you try to blink away sleep from your eyes. You try to move your hand, but it feels all pins and needles. There are bits of vegetation and dirt and scattered on your clothes.
You’re wearing a suit. Shit.
You manage to strain your neck and look around a bit.
The multi-hued foliage and twisting branches give an otherworldly feel to the trees in the area, as well as the massive size of the trunks. Birds swoop gracefully between glades and insects chirp and hop in the underbrush. No place on Earth could be so resplendent.
God. Dammit.
You want to scream, but all you can do is let out a desperate moan. Your throat is burning, and your mouth feels gritty and coarse to your tongue. You clear your throat.
"God damn you! What the fuck do you want?!" You scream at the sky in rage. Birds take wing and let off warning calls as the sound pierces the still of the forest.
"I said I was out, god dammit! What the fuck is this shit?" You struggle to sit upright, but your legs are completely unresponsive. What happened to your tomb? Your huge emerald casket? Your Equestrian body should be encased in solid crystal right now. How the fuck did it end up in temperate rainforest?
You manage to flail your right arm a little, but you accidentally hit something behind your head instead. The trunk of a tree. Its bark is strangely smooth to the touch. You follow it down slowly and touch an exposed root. It leads to your head. There’s something sticky there. You pull your hand up and see red on your fingertips.
Fuck...
Suddenly, you hear footsteps. No, not footsteps. Short bursts of hooves. You blink and wipe your eyes. You don’t see anything moving, but... maybe you’re saved?
The feeling has returned more to your upper body, and so you grab two tree roots and hoist your torso up as best you can against the trunk. The action takes so much out of you. It's been a long time since you've been in this body.
You blink your eyes hard and breathe heavily. Suddenly, there is a unicorn staring at you about five feet away.
“Hello friend!” She says with a wide smile.
The visage of the pony, her large fuchsia eyes, her lavender coat, her tumbling blue mane, strike at you with such a terrifying lucidity, you feel your heart jump into your throat. The mare occupies the totality of your reality. Your doubts about this being a dream are instantly crushed.
“My name's Izzy, what's your name?" She says, tilting her head a bit.
She's tall for a mare, and her horn is solid white. Your bottom lip is trembling, your mouth open in shock. No, fuck. No, this can’t be real.
Yet you know it’s real. Equestria has a feeling to it. You know it deep down to your soul. Once you feel it, there’s no mistaking it.
You start to feel very dizzy.
The unicorn folds her ears back with concern and raises an eyebrow, surprised at your lack of response. Your grip on the tree roots starts to slip. Darkness creeps into the edges of your vision.
You manage to say "Anohh...” before collapsing. Darkness takes you.
You are woken up by the gentle tap of a hoof on your cheek.
Your eyes shoot open to see a bright lamp above you. You hear the forest again, but it’s a bit muffled now. You’re laying on some sort of cot and you have a pillow under your head.
The silhouette of a yellow stallion with a short, teal mane leans in over you. He tilts his head one way and the other, inspecting you. He gives a short nod and looks away.
“Yep, he’s awake now.” The stallion says. He moves out of your field of view.
You hear the voice of a mare, different than the unicorn from before.
“Hitch, you’re amazing!” the voice says.
“No problem,” the stallion, Hitch, says confidently, “That first-aid training really came in handy today! Ha!”
Another silhouette of a pony slowly moves into your field of view. It’s more slender. A mare. She has an orange coat and a purple-pink mane in a long braid.
“Hey there...” she says in a kind voice, “I’m very sorry about the way in which we, uh... woke you up.”
Her large, turquoise eyes are filled with remorse. You don’t feel any forgiveness.
“You took a bit of a fall, but don’t worry. You’re okay now.” She explains. “We bandaged your head and gave you water and medicine to help with the pain.”
When she notices your lack of response, she widens her eyes quizzically. “Do you understand me?” She asks, “Nod once for yes.”
You grimace. “Of course I understand you.” Her eyes light up with delight in spite of your stern response.
She smiles and says, “Okay, great! My name is Sunny. Sunny Starscout. I’m very, very glad to meet you.”
You squint your eyes at her. “Why did you... unpetrify me?” You ask.
“Well...” she says as she runs a hoof along her braid. “I’m... sorry, but... we really need your help.”
We? What does that mean? Before she can explain more she turns away.
“Izzy, go ahead.” she says.
“With pleasure~!” A female voice says. You can’t see her, but you recognize it as the unicorn from before.
You hear a cranking sound as your torso juts forward a bit. Little by little, one half of the cot is tilted by some hoof-powered mechanism. You are moved to a sitting position. Then you see them. Candy colored coats, silky smooth in the soft light. You see the small furs on their conical ears. Their manes. Their large, round eyes.
Ponies.
You are once again surrounded by ponies.
Fuck.
The unicorn comes out from behind you into your field of vision. There’s five in all. Two earth ponies. Two pegasi, and a unicorn. They watch you with that familiar mix of wonder and hesitation you know so well.
Sunny, the orange earth pony from before, steps forward towards you holding a beaten-up leather journal to her chest. She smiles softly at you like she's looking at an old friend. Someone you met a long time ago, but lost contact with through the years. Yet you've never seen this mare before.
“Your name... it’s Anonymous, isn’t it?” she says.
What is her deal? She has such a youthful determination in her eyes.
“Yeah...?” you reply. At least you’re sure of your own name. Where the fuck you are is a whole different story.
Sunny only gasps in response, her ears perk up and her face lights with joy. She flips open the journal and speedily pages through it. Her hoof stops on a page and smacks it confidently.
“Just as I thought!” she says with a self-assured smirk. The ponies around her all widen their eyes as they see the page.
Sunny steps closer and raises the the journal up to you. You see a page that stirs a memory inside you. More than that, it stirs deep down to the roots of your soul.
The old, yellowed parchment is an illustrated page of notes. There is a sketch of a human figure on the left. No doubt about it, it's you. Legs and arms extended, the Vitruvian Man replaced with your body. Thankfully, with your underwear on.
The horn-writing on the right page is very familiar. You recognize it instantly. You remember her quill writing down the words. Her snarky quips as she drew you. Her laugh. Her smile.
"Twilight-"
"Twilight wrote about you! You're Anonymous the human! Oh my stars, I have so many questions!"
Before you can respond, Sunny puts her notebook on the ground and turns the page. She starts quickly reading off a huge list of questions at you.
"What was it like being the only human in all of Equestria? Did you still eat meat, or did you eat normal pony food? Did you live in a giant-sized house? Do you groom other humans with your hands? How big are your automobiles? Do-”
“Woah, woah, Sunny... slow down.” Hitch says and puts a hoof on the journal. “He just woke up, he needs rest. I don’t think we need to overwhelm him with a bunch questions right now.”
Sunny blinks and tilts her head. “Oh... I was doing it again wasn’t I?”
The ponies all nod in unison. Sunny folds her ears back and frowns. “Sorry.”
“No. I’m sorry.” You say. The absurdity of your present situation is starting to gnaw at you. You fake a shaky smile.
“You woke me up. For what? For what? Because you’re all fangirls?! Would someo-... somepony. Please tell me what THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!”
The ponies all tilt their necks and widen their eyes at your outburst. Your heart is racing and your face feels hot.
Hitch puffs out his chest and narrows his eyes. Sunny starts to open her mouth, but then a new voice rings out.
“Fine~ I’ll fill you in.” says a pink pegasus in a cheery voice.
She flutters up towards you on poofy pink wings. She has a dark violet mane adorned with a golden tiara. God damn, she even has golden glittery hooves.
She lands on the foot of your cot, and her smile turns to into a scornful grimace. She pulls out what appears to be a smartphone? What the fuck?
Before you can do anything, there’s a camera flash and you’re momentarily blinded. You blink and see stars.
The pink pegasus tucks her phone away in her wing. “Alright, so listen mister ‘Anonymoose’” she says with air-quotes.
You rub your eyes. The pegasus continues, gesticulating with a hoof as she talks.
“So like you’re old, right? Like, thousands of thousands of moons old. You lived in Ancient Equestria, met Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy. The Elements of Harmony. Great, right? Psch.”
She tilts her head forward and gives you a condescending smile.
“Well, welcome to present day. All the unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies live in separate places, and there hasn’t been magic for a really long time. No pony knows what happened, and no pony really cares.”
She shrugs. Then she leans back and gestures behind her. “Except us~!” She says in a sing-songy voice. The ponies behind her all smile.
She turns back to you with a sour expression. “We helped bring friendship back to all ponies, and we helped bring back magic too. So, if you’d really be so kind, could you please, please, please help us out by telling us a bit about Ancient Equestria?”
She bats her eyelashes and pouts at you. You just look at her in shock.
“W-w-what...?” You say, trying to process it all.
You start to remember that time ran differently in Equestria than it did on Earth. Twilight told you that while she was planning for the spell. Nine years in Earth time would be... how many moons? You can’t remember the formula, though your mind strains as hard as it can. Has it been centuries? Millennia?
Your stomach drops in your chest. The realization weighs on you like a humpback whale. You exhale a deep, long breath.
“T-they’re... all dead... aren’t they?” You say. You try to fight the tears, but they come any way.
The pegasus seems genuinely taken aback by your response. Her face softens into a sympathetic expression and she droops her head.
There’s a pregnant pause as you sit there, letting the reality of it all wash through your mind. It could be millions of years for all you know. Further back than you can comprehend. Civilizations rise and fall as the tides do. Nothing lasts forever.
The ponies all catch on to the mood. Sunny takes a step forward, her ears folded back. The pegasus steps back off the cot.
“Anonymous... I’m... I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how you might feel after being woken up after all this time.” She says, looking down.
You look down to hide your eyes. A tear drops onto your lap. You take a few shaky breaths.
“Turn me back.” You say.
“We... um...” Sunny says. She hesitates for a long while. “We... don’t know... how.”
“Someone h-has to know. Take me to them.” You say.
Sunny doesn’t respond. Her silence tells you all you need to know.
You slowly curl up your legs and hold your head in your hands. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
You sit there, your fingers tensing against your temples and forehead. Your chest convulses with sobs, and your nose starts to run.
“C’mon everypony, let’s give him some space...” the stallion says. You hear the sound of quiet hoofsteps, and the door to the tent opens. The light of day creeps in as they leave, and then the tent closes.
“Pipp, you really could have broken that to him a bit better...” You hear Sunny’s muffled voice say. “I know, I’m sorry, but how was I supposed to know...” The pegasus says, her voice trailing off.
You sit for a while. The tears flow, and you let them. The visions from your past swell in the back of your mind. You force them back and try to think.
So... that’s it then? You’re stuck here with a bunch of young ponies in a time where everyone you knew and loved is long since gone. Ponykind lost everything they had. All the magic and power is drained from the land. Then, these five ponies somehow start to bring it back, and you just happened to be the first ancient petrified being they stumbled on.
But what the fuck can you do? You don’t know shit about magic or how to help them.
You glance over at the door to the tent. You see the stocky shadow of a stallion being projected near the door. It’s most likely the one that bandaged you up. He seems to be keeping watch.
You consider just trying to make a run for it. Maybe you’ll have better luck without them. Definitely less headache in the long run.
Suddenly you hear a soft noise coming from the other side of the tent. “Pssst!”
You look over to see the head of the lavender unicorn poking out from under the tent wall. She looks side to side and then slowly slides the rest of her body through.
She stands up and quietly walks up to your cot. She reaches a hoof into her voluminous blue mane.
“Here.” she says very softly. She pulls out a bracelet made from small crystal fragments strung together like beads. She places it on top of the cot and gives you a small, genuine smile. She walks back and turns before you can say anything.
The unicorn disappears back under the tent wall. You wipe your eyes and sniff your nose. You pick up the bracelet and look at it.
Chiseled carefully into each of the crystals is a letter. It spells out A-N-O-N.
For about an hour or two, the ponies left you alone. You listened to them as they busied themselves with various things around their little camp, and you thought. You thought about what to do next. Eventually, the sun started to lower in the sky, and the forest was bathed in orange hues.
You considered trying to slip under the tent wall and sneak away through the woods, but where would you go from there? Did it even matter?
You thought about it as you rolled the bracelet in your fingers. It was made from a good length of colored twine. You could probably use it for a makeshift axe... perhaps chop down some trees and build a little cabin. Live out secluded in the woods where none of the ponies would find you.
You hear hoofsteps walking up to the tent door and you quickly slip the bracelet into your pocket. Another silhouette appears near Hitch’s. They whisper something quietly to each other.
“Uh... ahem”, Sunny says, “Anonymous, can I come in?”
You don’t respond.
“I brought soup.”
You consider telling her to fuck off. You consider throwing it in her face. But you remind yourself that you still need to fuel your physical body, even here.
“Come in.” you say in a low tone. Sunny walks into the tent holding a steaming wooden bowl filled with soup. The primitive monkey areas of your brain instantly focus in on the smell. Warm celery and potato stew. Unmistakable.
She sets the bowl in your lap. You clasp your hands around it carefully. She produces a wooden spoon and hands it to you as well.
You wait for her to leave, but she instead sits on the edge of your cot, avoiding eye contact. You realize she’s waiting to make sure you eat.
The hunger is getting too hard to ignore. You dip in the spoon and raise it to your lips. The warm liquid runs down your throat. It’s good.
You keep sipping the soup. Sunny slowly lifts her head up.
“You don’t know that she’s dead, by the way.” Sunny says.
You set your spoon into the bowl and look at her with a distant, faded glare.
“She could have been encased in stone, like you.” She says.
“No.” You respond. “If what you’re saying is true and magic really did fail, then Twilight Sparkle is most certainly dead.”
Sunny gives you an uncertain look. You sip loudly.
“How can you be so sure...?” She asks quietly.
You look at her again and smirk. “How can you be so sure I’m who you think I am?” You say, “I could be a changeling. I could be Grogar for all you know.”
“What? What are those?” Sunny asks, tilting her head.
You laugh under your breath. “God... you’re hopeless.”
Sunny narrows her eyes at you. She flicks her ears in indignation.
“No, you’re the one who’s hopeless. I’m starting to understand why they put you in that hunk of rock.” She says.
“Well, about that,” you say, raising your spoon up again, “I put myself in there voluntarily.” You say with a sip.
Sunny seems honestly surprised at this. “What?” she says.
You grit your teeth and exhale slowly.
“Look. I’ve had my fill of Equestria. It’s all kinda ‘been-there-done-that’ for me, you know?” You say with a sarcastic smile.
“I was fine being a regular human in the human world. That’s where I want to be.”
Sunny looks at you, studying your face for a hint of untruth. When she finds none, her ears fold back.
“Oh.” She says. “But, Twilight called you her friend in her notes. A lot of ponies were your friends.”
“Were.” You say.
“Why did you want to leave all of them behind?” Sunny asks.
You lean forward at her and narrow your eyes. “That is the question, isn’t it? Why would anypony want that?” You whisper with disdain.
You lean back and keep eating your soup, ignoring her gaze. She stomps a hoof. “Look, I know you’re having a hard time dealing with this, but we’re all really trying here.” She says. “If you really want to go back so bad you should help us uncover the magic spells that were lost!”
You shake your head slowly. “Why would you unpetrify someone without a backup plan?” You sigh. “Sorry, Sunny. I don’t have a lot of confidence in your little team.”
She fumes for a moment. Then she lets out a slow sigh. “Listen, you must know something that can help us...” she says. “All I ask is that you point us in the right direction. That’s all. Then we’ll leave you alone. We can take you to a safe place, in one of our towns. Or you can just go wherever. You don’t have to see us again.”
You mull it over as you put the soup bowl to your lips. You drink the remains of your meal and slowly set the bowl down.
“Fine. Fair enough.” You say. “Tell me what you know so far.”
Sunny spent the rest of the evening going over her research with you. She splayed out all her notes, maps and charts on a wooden picnic table near their campfire. You both looked over them and shared your knowledge. The other ponies performed various tasks around the camp, but would often tilt their ears and listen in as you talked.
The ponies only knew of three pony towns. Maretime Bay, Zephyr Heights and Bridlewood. The rest of the continent was a blank. From scrutinizing their maps and cross-referencing it with your memory, the best you can figure is that you’re currently somewhere near near the east coast of the continent. About a hundred or so miles inland from where Baltimare used to be.
Judging by the forest surrounding you, it seems close to the Everfree. Yet you can’t really be sure. The lands and forests can change a lot in a few thousand years. You might still be nowhere near Canterlot.
You explained the castles of the princesses. The towering star of Twilight’s castle. The alabaster spires of Canterlot. The snowflake design of the Crystal Empire. You drew in rough circles where you thought the castles were located, assuming they even still existed.
Sunny gasped and stared wide-eyed as she looked over the marks on the map. She showed the other ponies, and every one of them was elated.
Thankfully, Sunny did not press any further into the details of your past life. She instead decided to show you the treasures they had found from the ancient world instead.
Part of an old, rusted shop sign with an illegible surface. A few decaying old pony shoes. Random shards of non-magical crystal. A marble. A pie tin with the bottom eaten through. Metal hinges and the rusted bones of a disintegrated carriage.
None of it provided any clues. Just generic bits of pony trash.
You turn over one of the shards of purple crystal in your hands. It looks sort of like the material from the Castle of Friendship. It probably blew up as a result of some villain attack. Maybe that even happened several times. Who knows.
“So your towns are all segregated by race, huh?” You ask Sunny.
Sunny looks up at you and nods. “Well, yes, but after we showed everypony that magic and friendship are real, they’ve began to open up a lot more.” She explains.
You think about what it would be like to just stroll in unaccompanied. The panic that would set in would be pretty funny.
“All the ponies are starting to work together again. It’s great, but it’s... not exactly enough.” Sunny says. “There’s still plenty of ponies out there that are afraid. Some want to return to the old ways. That’s why we’re out here. We need to learn from our past so that we can keep the spark of friendship alive.”
“Uh huh,” you say as you put the crystal down. “So, how did you manage to unpetrify me any way?”
“Oh, uh...” Sunny says hesitantly before looking to the side at Izzy, who had taken a seat next to her.
Izzy’s face lights up and she taps the table. “Ooooh, tell him about the crystals!” She says with a smile.
Sunny hesitates, smiling nervously. “Well, um...” she turns to you and says, “I don’t want to burden you any more than we have, and these crystals are just... we think Twilight might have made them.”
You shrug. “Just tell me.”
Sunny bites her lip and looks to the side. She then reaches into her teal bookbag and pulls out a shining diamond the size of her entire hoof. She rests it carefully on the table, and it glints spectacularly in the firelight.
“This is the Earth Pony Crystal. There’s three in all. One for the unicorns, and one for the pegasi.” She explains.
Izzy pulls out a violet horn-shaped crystal from her mane and taps it to her own horn with a smile. You assume that’s the one for the unicorns.
“Let me guess, the pegasus one is shaped like wings.” You say. You glance over at the two pegasi who are currently seated around the campfire with Hitch.
“Yes! How’d you know?” Sunny asks.
“I’ve just seen a lot of magic macguffins in my day...” You sigh, “So you used them to open my casket?”
“Yeah!” Izzy says, “It’s kinda funny how it happened actually, we found it and we were like, ‘ooh~, this big crystal sarcophagus must be important, huh’ but mostly we were just really happy to have found something so cool after all this time, so we put our hooves together to celebrate!”
“Then,” she says and lets her eyes go wide, “Each one of the crystals started to glow... We took them out... and they snapped together like wa-SHAZAM!” She flails a hoof dramatically.
“Then the casket started to glow too! It was all wowowowow~ and the crystals were all wowowowow~” She says, wiggling her hooves in waves.
“And then ba-zam!” She says, “The crystals shot out this huge laser beam and it hit the casket and it got really really bright and then... KA-ZAP!” She shouts, her hooves raised to the air.
Her expression calms and she leans her head on her hoof casually. “Nothing happened!” She says.
You blink.
“Then, TA-DAH! The crystal sarcophagus shattered into a million pieces! Anon was freed! It was very sparkly,” She says with a cheeky smile.
“Right,” you say, rubbing your head, “So the head injury was from...?”
“Um, well...” Sunny chimes in, “The ruins we found you in had a just a... a slight tilt to them.”
You cross your arms.
“You slid off your stone platform and tumbled down a gully.” She explains, wincing a little. “The tree branches helped slow you down a little at least...”
Sunny folds her ears back and looks away.
You shake your head and sigh. “Yeah, do I even need to say it?” You ask.
Sunny and Izzy look despondent. Turns out you don’t need to. You sigh and rub your face. The bandage on your head moves around and you feel the dull ache underneath.
“Alright, so here’s what’s going to happen.” You say, tenting your fingers. “I’m going to sleep. If I don’t wake up tomorrow on Earth, in my real bed, in my real house, you are all going to show me the ruins where you found me. Then, you’re going to leave me there. Alone.”
“What? But what ab-” Izzy starts to say, but you hold up a finger.
“Ah-tut-tut-tut. No, blue Pinkie Pie. No.” You say. Izzy scowls.
Sunny sighs and nods. “Okay, Anon... if that’s what you want.” She says sadly.
“Great. Peachy keen.” You say and stand up from the table.
You walk past the campfire. Hitch notices you leaving and pipes up. “Hey! Uh...” He starts trotting alongside you.
“You know, the forest has gotten a lot more dangerous ever since magic returned,” he says, “There’s a lot of dangerous critters out there!”
You keep walking and ignore him. He stops and asks, “Can I at least change that bandage?”
You tug at the gauze and then quickly yank it off your head. You throw it into the fire and walk inside the medical tent.
In the morning, you woke up to the sound of the forest again.
Thankfully, the hike back to your tomb was a short one. You all quickly arrived at a large clearing.
The earth below had shifted over the years, and what was once a level area had been tilted by the rise of a large hill. There are bits and pieces of broken architecture strewn around, mostly stone blocks, pillars and slabs. All of it made from some kind of bluish-gray stone.
The ponies quietly led you through the structure’s overgrown, weathered remains. As you weaved between the piles of rubble, you scanned for anything you might recognize. You noticed it seemed similar to the castle architecture you had seen before, but nothing that stirs a memory.
The morning breeze starts to pick up into a gentle wind as you near the far corner of the clearing. Here, the smooth gradient of the hill suddenly drops down sharply into a deep ravine. You notice that a section of the structure ended up precariously close to the edge of it. The ponies seem to be leading you towards it.
Sunny stops walking in front of a stone archway that leads into the crumbling structure.
“Here.” she says dully, pointing a hoof inside.
You crane your neck and look inside. The walls are mostly intact, except for the giant hole on the one that faces the ravine. Sunlight is pouring into the space through the gaps.
You step into the room cautiously. Your shoes hit the cold, forgotten stone with resonant taps. You have to lean on your left foot due to the tilt. The room seems pretty big. Better than ending up in a broom closet, you suppose. It had a vaulted ceiling at one point, but it’s long since crumbled away. Rows of stone sarcophagi line the walls. You see streaks of rust where metal sconces once stood.
You make your way further inside. A set of tall, arched windows dominates the far wall. Of the stained glass murals they held, only small shards remain. You also see a large stone slab built into the wall. It’s definitely big enough for you to lay down on. You look to your right and see the slab hangs over the edge of the ravine a bit with nothing but thin air beyond.
You lean down and touch the slab where you had slept for years upon years. Your fingers come away with a layer of fine crystalline dust on them. It glints with specks of green in the sunlight.
“Yep. Seems about right.” You say.
You look around the room slowly, taking in the details. There’s carved murals of various pony figures in the walls, all worn with time. Patches of moss and vegetation seep in through every crack. You don’t notice any hidden doors or compartments. No inscriptions or ancient scrolls. No puzzles to solve. It’s just a tomb.
You turn back to the archway. The ponies are still standing at the entrance. They had been watching you the entire time.
“Well, little ponies,” You say as you walk towards them. “This place was supposed to be a secret. You see, they never told me where they were going to put my casket. That was on purpose... nopony was ever supposed to know.”
You stop in front of them. “But you all just had to go looking, huh?”
You look at each one individually. They look back with concern, frustration and hopelessness.
“You have successfully fucked up my life. Congrats. Now it’s time for you all leave this place. Forget you ever saw me. Forget these ruins exist.” You say. “Alright?”
They all continue to look at you.
“Well? Go on now.” You say and wave a hand dismissively, “Shoo. Shoo.”
Hitch and Izzy frown and start to reluctantly turn away from you. Sunny stands defiantly, her brow burning with determination. The other ponies stop moving as she stands.
“We are not leaving you here, Anon!” Sunny says.
“Oh?” You say, leaning against the archway. You raise your eyebrows.
The white pegasus, who’s name you learned was Zipp, raises her head and steps forward proudly. Her pink and cyan mohawk points directly up at the sky.
“She’s right,” Zipp says, you sense a bit of uncertainty in her face.
“Look, I didn’t want to tell you this, but Pipp and I... we’re royalty. We have connections. We can get you whatever you want. Food, gold, gems, you name it. All we ask-”
“Pass.” You say with a bored expression.
Zipp shoots you an incredulous look. “What? So your plan is... what exactly? Surviving out here all by your own?”
“Why yes,” you say, nodding your head. “That is exactly what I’m going to do.”
She turns her head and scrunches her face in frustration. Pipp puts a hoof on her sister’s shoulder sympathetically.
Hitch, who had been glaring at you for a while, suddenly throws back his head and laughs. “Hah. Hah. You hear that everypony? He’s a regular mountainmare.” He nods in your direction.
He continues proudly, “Of course, I’ve never met an outdoors-type that wears a three piece suit to the woods. Or one that brings absolutely no supplies when they go trotting around in a dangerous frontier.”
“I’d give him about three hours before he comes crawling back to camp.” He says, giving you shit-eating grin.
With that, Hitch says “Come on, everypony.” He turns and starts walking away.
One by one, the rest of the ponies slowly turn to follow him. They start to funnel out of the ruins in a single-file line. It’s a relief to your eyes, but you need to make sure they don’t watch where you go.
You decide to escort them out.
Sunny is the last in line, marching right in front of you. As you near the treeline of the forest again, she suddenly stops.
She raises her head and says to the other ponies, “You all go ahead. I’ll catch up.” The others glance back, but they just nod and keep walking.
You stand there watching her, your arms folded. Sunny turns and then sits down on the grass. Her body slumps as she lets out a long sigh.
“Can I just ask one thing?” She says, looking up at you.
“No.” You say. “Leave.”
“I can’t.” She says, “I really, really need to know this.”
You glower at her menacingly. “I don’t care to hear your pep-talk, Sunny.”
She shakes her head slowly side to side. “No no no no. It’s not about you, okay?” She scratches the turf with her hoof. “I’m fine with parting ways.”
You quirk an eyebrow. She continues.
“Listen, all of my life, I have always looked up to Twilight Sparkle and her friends. She was... like a mother to me. I never got the chance to get to know my own mom. So I idolized her.”
She looks up at you. The wind picks up and blows her mane gently.
“But a while ago I realized that the Twilight I know is just fiction. Stories passed down from one pony to the next. I want to know what she was like as a real flesh and blood pony. With faults and flaws just like everypony else. I just... can’t wrap my head around it. I can’t believe that the Princess of Friendship, the one who brought harmony to all of Equestria, would ever give up on anyone. No matter who they are.”
“You’d be surprised.” You say with a sneer.
“Well, that’s exactly it.” Sunny explains. “I was surprised when I learned she agreed to seal you away.”
She puts on a determined expression. “So tell me why I’m wrong.”
“What?” You say. “I’m not going to debate you. Leave.”
“Who said anything about a debate? I’ll just sit here and listen, that’s all. You can feel happy crushing my dreams, and I can learn something. It’s a win-win!” she smiles.
You growl under your breath and slowly shake your head at her.
“Or I can just sit here until you tell me!” Sunny says.
“No!” You shout.
“You know I won’t give up, Anon!” Sunny shouts back.
You stop. Well, there it is.
“I know we’ll run into each other again. And when we do, you’re going to tell me all about Ancient Equestria and its people.” She stomps her hoof. “Mark. My. Words.”
You clench your fists and fume with anger. God damn this stubborn orange cunt. She really isn’t budging. How many times have you dealt with this shit? A mare that won’t get out of your life no matter what you do.
You take a deep breath to calm yourself. You try to think.
“So... if I tell you how we stopped being friends, you’ll go away?” You say.
Sunny’s determined expression softens. She nods once confidently.
“And you’ll never, ever try to find me again?” You say.
“Yes.” She says.
You ponder it for a moment, putting a finger on your chin.
“Hm...” You say, “Do you promise? Will you really leave me alone?”
Sunny sits up as straight as she can and places a hoof over her heart.
“I, Sunny Starscout, hereby agree to the terms proposed by Anonymous. In exchange for information, I will stay out of his life. On behalf of all ponykind, I will hold up my part, hoof to heart!”
She smiles softly and looks up at you with anticipation.
You rub your temples as you sigh.
“Well...” you say, “Where do I begin?”
You had taken a seat on a section of a collapsed pillar as you racked your brain. Sunny was getting a little impatient as she sat in the grass, waiting for you to speak.
The wind tossed the tall, verdant grass in long, rolling waves. Fluffy white clouds scrolled lazily across the bright blue sky. You savored the quiet, still landscape around you. There was only one thing standing between you and peace.
“It... it started with the wings.” You say.
“The wings?” Sunny says, tilting her head.
You shake your head slightly. “No... not the wings exactly. I-It’s what they represented.”
Sunny leans forward a bit, straining to understand.
“You know she was unicorn first, right?” You ask.
She nods, “Yes!”
“Did you know she lived in a library that was built into a tree? It was called The Golden Oak Library.”
“Woah...” Sunny says as she leans forward, her eyes going wide. “So that’s what it was called.”
You sigh wistfully. “Ah, I remember it well. Those early days... she was a nice pony then...”
You shift a little in your seat as you stare off across the treetops to the sun-covered clouds in the sky.
“When I first showed up, I was terrified. I had never seen a place like this. Never been around ponies. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like... I could never belong in a place like this. But Twilight, she didn’t hesitate. She gathered up her friends and went to work. By the end of the day, she had convinced the whole town to let me stay.” You explain.
“I felt... welcomed. I had a place there, in that little town. Slowly the ponies warmed up to me, and I made friends.” You smile, thinking back to the laughter and joy, all their smiling faces.
“It was a simple life. A good life.” you say.
“Of course,” you shrug, “I couldn’t really help them do much. I can’t use magic, I can’t fly and I can’t tame animals with just a stare. I was content to sit on the sidelines as they went on their adventures, watching them solve friendship problems together.”
You sigh deeply. You can’t help but slouch.
“And then one day it happened.” You say. “Twilight solved a friendship problem so difficult and complex, she got transported to another realm. She ascended.”
You point up to the sky slowly. Sunny glances up for a moment.
“I don’t know what happened up there. But when she came back down, it was like a star falling from the sky. She landed in the middle of Ponyville, glowing as bright as the sun. And then... well...”
You throw up your hands and splay your fingers.
“Viola. She stretched out her wings. In all their glory. In all their splendor.”
Sunny is enthralled by the story and hangs on your words. You slowly lower your hands.
“But for me it was like I got bucked in the ribs.” You say.
Sunny gasps silently. You roll your tongue in your mouth and swallow.
“It meant that she was going to live forever. She’s a fucking... demigod. She was chosen to rule an entire continent. How much more high and mighty can you get? Pretty soon after she’d be going up to the castle high in the sky. Leaving all us regular ass people down in our fucking...”
You clench your fist.
“...pony dirt town.”
You look away.
“But... that wasn’t the worst part. Nah, no no no.” You shake your head to enunciate your meaning.
“It was when every one of her friends, every one of her family members, everyone in the entire world, kept on going like there was nothing wrong.”
Sunny frowns.
“I was the odd one out.” You say. “I was the one that couldn’t be happy for her. They all just kept on going pretending like they didn’t realize that Twilight would cry at each and every one of their funerals. She would get so old that she would start to forget what they looked like. What their names were. Who they were.”
You sniff and wipe nose. Sunny lowers her head and stares at the ground.
“I couldn’t live with it. I couldn’t. Every day after that she slowly became less and less of a friend. More of a ruler. More of a deity. A symbol. Something beyond our understanding.”
“Anon...” Sunny says. She slowly raises her eyes. They’re rimmed with tears.
“Why don’t you just say it...?” she says.
“What, that she was the princess of friendship that abandoned her friends? That she chose power over being with them?” You say angrily, leaning forward towards her.
You feel a lump in your throat as she looks at you. The wind silently tussles her mane.
“You were in love with her.” Sunny says. A tear runs down her cheek.
You breathe out hotly and sneer. The fucking nerve of this girl.
“You wanted her... all to yourself, didn’t you?” Sunny says. “You couldn’t stand seeing her... grow up.”
“Bullshit-” you start to say.
“But if you really loved her... had true love for her...” Sunny says, pointing a hoof. “You would have understood that she was meant to be a princess. You would have stayed with her to the end.”
She scrunches up her face in disgust and quickly wipes the tears from her eyes.
“You’re selfish. Don’t you dare ever call her your friend again!”
She then spins on her hooves, she stomps away from you and heads back towards the treeline, sobbing quietly.
You grit your teeth and stand up. “What the fuck do you know?!” you shout at her, “You’re just another starry-eyed mare with big dreams that hasn’t had a proper taste of reality yet.”
She turns and glares at you, but keeps walking away.
“Oh, I’ve seen a lot of your type! You think you can change the world. Well, let me tell you, this place sure ain’t fucking perfect, and ponies like you get shredded up!”
You point at her aggressively, but she doesn’t see. Sunny looks away as she turns into the forest path and disappears.
You seethe with anger for a moment. You drop your hand. The forest is quiet again.
You took off your suit jacket and waistcoat. You rolled up your shirt sleeves and began the long task. The good work. Focusing your mind on primitive concerns and blocking out the rest. Your only goal was survival.
You scanned the rest of the ruins for any useful materials. All the valuables had been scavenged a long time ago. The furniture and storage crates one would typically find in a pony dwelling had long since disintegrated and returned to the earth. You managed to find a few nicely-shaped pieces of glass, but little else. At least they would make for a good spearheads.
You hiked for a bit up the tree-covered foothill. Finding a small brook, you drank from it and slaked your thirst. One need out of the way.
You find a round, flat stone in the bed of the stream. You scrape off the mud and moss and feel the coarse, wet stone underneath. You grab one of the shards of stained glass and begin to rub it against the surface carefully. For a few hours you work to hone an edge into one side of the shard of glass. You smirk as you finish and hold it up to the light. There’s now a fine point at the end.
You test it. Not a lot of pressure needed to draw blood.
You scour around for a low-hanging, straight tree branch to use for the spear. You find one and pull it down using your weight. Then you sit down near the brook on a mossy, shaded rock. You slice off long strips of bark from the branch and carefully begin to mold it into a strong, flexible haft. You carefully cut a notch in the top for the glass spearhead. By the time you finish, you notice the sun has started its descent. Your stomach gurgles deeply in your chest.
You stand up and adjust your belt. You tighten it around your waist to help curb the hunger pangs. Now the true test begins.
The vegetation in the area was chaotic and rough in many places. You combed through the underbrush for plants and fungi that you might recognize as edible. It all seemed similar to what you remember from Equestria long ago, yet there were subtle differences. A slightly different hue to a clutch of berries. A longer stem and frills to a fungus. Thin sprouts with leaves that split in different numbers than you remembered.
Your memory is too hazy when it comes to wild produce. You decide not to risk getting sick. The safest bet, you figured, was following the old “berry rule”. You tie up your suit jacket with a bit of makeshift string to create a hobo bag with the spear handle. You methodically and carefully start to pick berries that are violet, black or have deep red hues.
The sun is orange and getting close to the treetops as you make your way back to the grassy clearing of the tomb ruins, carrying a plump bag of fruit. You empty them all out on a large stone slab and start to organize them by shape and color.
You test a few of the darker purple and black ones by dripping some of the juice onto your forearm. After a few minutes you don’t feel any burning or tingling sensation, so you reckon that they might be safe to try. You drip a few drops of juice onto your tongue from one.
The taste is as sweet as pure honey to your waiting tongue. You feel a tingle run down your spine as your hungry body reacts to the sensation. You can’t help but pop it into your mouth and chew.
You place the taste as something close to a wild blackberry. There’s a small pit inside of it, which you spit out. You feel your spirits lift a little bit. It’s hard to resist eating another one, but you maintain your self-control.
Warmth was next. You remember how to make a bow drill with sticks and improvised string. Luckily you had already collected the materials for it.
Soon you are sitting by a crackling fire, popping berries into your mouth as you fire-harden the end of the spear. The cool Equestrian night air feels good on your neck, which had gotten too much sun. You expect the night to be a bit colder, but bearable enough. There’s no hints of frost in the air, or signs of a storm coming in. Still, you planned to take shelter in a bit of collapsed ruin where a slab had fallen onto a section of wall, creating a small gap. For no other reason than to hide from anyone or anything wandering by.
You spit out another pit as you raise your spear out of the fire and look at it. “Fuck you, Hitch.” You say disdainfully. You blow on the blackened spear tip.
You’re surprised that the ponies had not come back to try and collect you yet. In the past, every pony you told off would come back a while later and pester you again like nothing happened. You figure they’d probably try again tomorrow.
For a moment, you think about that orange mare, but you shake your head and clear your mind. Focus. Survive.
You make sure the glass shard still fits snugly inside the notch at the end of the spear. You take out the bracelet, but you decide to keep the crystals tied to one part of the string. There’s a lot of predators that are easily distracted by shiny things. You figure it’s better to keep it just in case.
You finish tying the spearhead as tightly as you can and raise it up, watching it twinkle in the light of the campfire. “Behold,” you say to yourself. “The spear of friendship.”
There’s a sudden rumble in your stomach and you feel a pang of nausea. You quickly get up and pace, breathing steadily. You try to fight it but the feeling rises. You grab a block and lean over, retching.
All the berries come back up.
As the heaving calms down and you wipe your mouth, you decide to call it a night.
You began to have dreams that shook you to the core with their terrible lucidity. You would wake up in a panic and bang your head against the low ceiling of your dwelling.
You were in Twilight’s library. Her large purple eyes rolled around and around in her head like spinning wind-up toys. Her mouth kept flapping and saying words but you couldn’t pick any of them out. You focused on her lips, her jaw wobbling up and around. There was a voice but no words.
Spike, who was holding exactly two eggs, put them in your lap and said “Come on home to roost, my guy.”
Suddenly, you put a hand on Twilight’s hoof. You smiled and said, “Thank you Twilight, I needed that.”
She smiled at you, then her face started to change in slow motion. Her face pulled backward, gaining more wrinkles than you had ever seen before as it morphed into a look of abject horror.
You were chewing something. It was gummy and tasted like grapes. You swallowed, then sunk your teeth into Twilight’s hoof again to take off another large chunk. You left a perfect, sticky bite mark in her hoof. It stuck to your teeth and you wiggled it around with your tongue.
You rub your head as the dream film is rinsed off your brain.
You crawl out of the pile of dead leaves and grass that you collected in a desperate attempt to add more warmth to your shelter. Your limbs feel taut and stiff as you raise up to greet the faint light of dawn. You already feel drained, both physically and mentally.
You crouch down and look over your collection of materials and go through it one more time.
You have a lot of string. Enough to make another snare, but what was the point? They always turned up empty with the bait missing when you checked them.
You consider trying to whittle a fishing hook again, but it took you so long that last time. You followed the brook all the way to that pond, and for what? Just to see your hook get taken by that huge swampy frog thing. The string snapped right in your hands.
The spear sits without a head. No more glass shards. All of them sit in tiny pieces now. Not a single one hit.
It’s strange. Somehow the animals, whether they be rabbits, goats, hedgehogs, or birds, all see it coming. It’s almost like the animals are protected by some special sixth sense. Like Celestia is watching over all of them to make sure you don’t commit the unholy sin of eating some fucking meat.
You put your head in your hands and rub your face. Your fingers are raw and swollen with blisters. Your feet ache from the constant walking. Your dream of the comfy cabin in the woods feels like a sick joke to you now.
You sigh. Well, if this is how you die, it’s better than living a lie. Maybe you’ll wake up back in the real world. Maybe this is what’s supposed to happen.
Starving to death really sucks though. So you decide to whittle a new point to the spear. You shave it down and blacken it with fire until it becomes hard. You visualize how well it would sink into flesh. You long for it.
You keep the bracelet wrapped around it, a little ways down from the point. You shake the spear when you finish and it rattles.
Rattles. Rattles. Rattlesnake.
You hear the hiss. You flail in surprise. You spin and jump up onto a nearby boulder. Your head whips around. Fuck! Where is it? Your heart is pounding and you scan the tall grass.
You see nothing. You realize you threw the spear thinking it was a snake. A hallucination. You clench your eyes and rub the bridge of your nose.
Fucking hell. You hop down and pick up the spear.
You walk further north than you ever walked before that day. Beyond cliffs and the summits of the rocky hills, you find an overlook and survey the land beyond. The foothills continue into the distance, all covered in dense forest. The tops of snow-capped mountains stand like ghosts on the hazy horizon. You notice a dense cloud of fog is pouring its way into the forest valley below. The hills are brimming with mist.
You make your way down into the valley. The vegetation is even thicker here, and the air feels much more humid. Thick vines snake along the branches and the trunks of nearly every tree. Spindly blue-green moss hangs in clumps from everything. You hear the sounds of rustling and movement more frequently in the bush.
The sky is getting darker earlier than usual today. No, that’s not it. The air is getting harder to see through. The sunlight dims to a soft, pale light. You find yourself straining to see as the world is enveloped in gray fog.
You poke your spear ahead of you, tapping to feel for the tree trunks or any sudden drops you might encounter. Suddenly, you get to a void in the trees. You swing the spear in a wide arc and feel nothing beyond.
You step into what you think is a small clearing. Your feet touch cool grass laden with dew.
You step forward again. Then again.
Soon you do not see any trees around you. You can’t remember how far you are from the treeline.
You feel eyes upon you. You hear a faint whisper from your right.
“Anon” it says. You look at see nothing but swirling fog.
“Anonymous.” It says from a different direction. Nothing there.
You tense your body, slowly turning in place, spear outstretched. Your grip is sure. You want it to come. You are ready.
“Have you really forgotten, old friend?” You hear the voice ring true and clear this time. It sounds deep and vaguely condescending.
The fog clears a bit as you turn to the center of the clearing. There, a large, slender tree sits with an impossibly voluminous canopy above. There are only powdery pink petals on the twigs and branches. No leaves. Their mass forms a strange shape that looks like a cascading wave. The petals float off the tree in an endless stream.
Below the tree, blending into the pale gray bark, sits a figure. It has an old, gray cloak on. You notice a pair of mismatched horns jutting out of the hood. A pair of red, gleaming eyes are fixed on you from the darkness inside.
“After all this time, you still don’t know...?” The figure says.
You drop your spear and it silently falls to the grass. You gawk at the sight. He is clutching onto something with his talon-like hand. It’s a golden pocket watch. It swings methodically like a pendulum. There are three symbols on the clock’s face. A sun, a moon, and a star. They spin around and around inside the watch at dizzying speeds. His hand seems more bony and gnarled than you remember. The bright yellow now has a tinge of gray.
“What is the one thing you need in this world, more than anything else? Hm? What is that one ingredient you’re missing?” the figure of Discord questions.
You stand silently and lower your head. Somehow you can hear the whirring of the watch as if its right in your ear.
“Discord...” you finally say, “If you are...”
“Behind all this? Oh, no... what you see all around you is not the work of chaos, my splendid human friend.” He says. “Chaos is neutral. Chaos is fair. Oh, this is something much more sinister, I’m afraid. Something no pony or man can stop, no matter how hard they try. Oh dear... what a crying shame.”
He sounds older than you remember. Another joke? He isn’t supposed to age. You can still feel those burning red eyes.
“I... know you won’t help me. Or answer my questions...” you say, “But I still have to try to ask...”
You fall to your knees. You bend forward and press your forehead to the cool grass. You clasp your hands above your head.
“P-Please tell me if they are alive.” You say, choking back tears.
“Hahahah!” Discord laughs. You raise up your head slowly, tears streaming down your eyes. He laughs again.
“Oh Anon, you were always one of my favorites, you know.” He says.
You slowly sit up on your knees.
“You had such a natural talent for sowing disharmony. Such endless amusement. Hahah, it was truly divine! I think maybe you should be the god of chaos now. Hahahah!” He laughs.
You simply just look at him.
Slowly, Discord raises up to his hooves. His hand still outstretched, the watch never leaves its rhythm.
“Yet you always had that little ‘problem’ didn’t you...?” He says.
Suddenly, the watch stops moving. The pink petals flowing from the tree freeze in midair. The sounds of the forest stop completely. Discord releases his grip. His withered fingers pop and crack as he flexes them.
“Ahh... much better.” He says. “My hand was getting so tired...”
He tugs back on his hood. To your surprise you are met with soft, faded eyes and a warm smile on his face.
“It was good to see you again, Anon.” He says, a surprising amount of sincerity in his tone. “I mean that. Honestly, I do.”
Your eyes widen as his talon raises up, his thumb pressing against his middle finger. No. Shit! No!
He snaps.
The watch begins to fall. It falls incredibly fast, yet at the same time doesn’t move at all. Your eyes are fixated on it. The dials and symbols spinning faster and faster, all out of control. Its falling so fast. You need to catch it. You need to stop it from hitting the ground. Something terrible will happen if you don’t. Your body screams to move forward, yet you are completely still. The watch is a golden blur now, a streak in the air. In the next instant it will hit the ground. It will shatter into pieces. It will never be-
You wake up.
You hear the soft noises of birdsong and leaves rushing in the treetops. The morning light is cresting the canopy of the forest. You grunt and struggle to lift up your face off the grass. It feels itchy and your neck is very sore.
You slowly get up, your stiff limbs popping as you rise. You feel incredibly groggy. You rub your eyes and blink.
You are in a small, grassy clearing. There is no tree. There is no Discord. Just a small mound of dirt covered in grass.
You pick up your spear and walk towards the mound. Carefully, you prod around it with the blunt end. It feels like earth does. Then you hear a small, metallic tap.
You bend down and feel with your fingers. You pull up some tufts of grass and scrape away dirt.
There’s an old pocket watch buried in the soil. It is broken and incredibly tarnished with age. You decide to leave it sitting there.
You walk and you don’t care where. Your feet are hurting and your toes and hands have many blisters. The bottom of one of your shoes fell out so you had to strap it to your foot like a sandal. You have small cuts and scrapes on your exposed flesh.
Clearing.
This clearing has a lot of trampled down grass and patches of dirt. No, its more familiar than that. You crawl around the site on your hands and knees. You scrape into the loose dirt and find black and white speckled ash.
They had left quite a while ago, you figure. No more tents. No more fire. A lone wooden picnic table is all that’s left. Goodbye, ponies. Goodbye...
Noise.
Many noises. You scramble around a bush near the treeline. You crouch, spear ready. Always ready. You are as motionless as the trees. One eye has a good view through a gap in the bush. All you need.
The noise is the sound of hooves. The sound of cartwheels creaking and rolling on dirt. The sound of cargo shifting as it tilts due to roots in the path.
Ponies.
They quietly walk down the path towards the clearing in single file. They have carts filled with gear and supplies strapped to the ones on the ground. The ones fluttering in the sky carry saddlebags.
Your grip tenses around the spear. Then it loosens. Then it tenses again.
The pink one says, “Ugh, well at least I know where this place is.” She flaps down to the ground and takes off her saddlebags. She extends one of her wings and rubs it with her hooves.
“Whew!” The yellow one exclaims, sighing in relief as his cart comes to a stop. “Finally, we made it back!”
The orange one unhooks her cart with a bounce of her rump. “Great job, team!” She says cheerfully and starts walking backwards to the center of the clearing, “Let’s take a short rest here, then we can-”
She stops as her back hoof suddenly sinks into the loose, dry earth of their previous fire pit. She turns to look at it and raises up her hoof, covered in ash.
“Huh?” She says and scans the ground. The other ponies do too. Your handprints are all over the dirt, plain to see. There’s long gouges where you dragged your knees.
Their collective gaze follows the trail until it lands on the bush you’re currently behind. All their eyes are wide with a mix of fear and apprehension. You remain completely still.
Suddenly, the blue one takes a step forward into the clearing. Her ivory horn starts to glow as magic seeps into the thin lines in its surface. Suddenly the bush in front of you glows. It is pushed quickly aside.
The ponies all gasp quietly, except for her. She looks at you with a vacant, distant expression. Her emotionless face scans you. The others have wide eyes and opened mouths.
The blue unicorn takes a step forward. The yellow one shouts, “Izzy, don’t!” He stretches out a hoof. The unicorn stares directly into your starving, sleep-deprived eyes. The spear is pointing directly at her, trembling only slightly as you steadily breathe. Your teeth are clenched very tight together.
The unicorn moves forward. The stallion winces and leans for her, but suddenly puts his hoof back down. The unicorn stops right in front of you. The spear tip is only a few inches from her face. You know you can stab her right now. Plunge it right between her eyes. Your fingers are burning as they grip the spear.
“You kept it.” The unicorn says.
She puts a hoof on the crystal beads adorning the spear. She rotates one of them, and looks at the letter carved into it. It reads “A”.
Her horn glows with a gentle fuchsia hue. The bracelet glows and unties itself from the shaft. She levitates it to her outstretched hoof.
She moves around your spear and places it on your wrist. With another short burst of magic, the bracelet is tied to your forearm. You don’t look at her or move. You are frozen in place, trembling.
She looks into your eyes, now very close to your face, and the tiniest smile spreads on her lips. You clench your eyes shut. You drop the spear. As it hits the ground, you collapse against her and bury your face into her mane.
Your chest quivers with sobs as you hug her. Slowly you feel hooves wrap around your back.
You are riding in a small, wooden wagon-style cart being tugged along a forest path. The large, woolly blanket you are wrapped in does little to cushion the bumps of the rough, pitted trail.
Sunny is walking behind your cart and tugging along her own. She occasionally raises her head to look at you with concern. She has done this ever since Izzy loaded you into this thing and started walking.
“Are you sure you’re full?” She asks. The ponies had fed you, and you ate ravenously. Although, your shrunken stomach couldn’t fit a whole lot before you felt full to bursting. They gave you water and bandages, and they let you clean and patch up your wounds.
“I’m fine.” You say in a coarse whisper. Your lips are cracked and they sting when you talk.
“Your voice is so raspy... how about some more water?” Sunny asks.
“No thanks,” You say, shaking your head slowly.
“Well... okay.” Sunny lowers her head a bit and glances away.
The train of ponies continues along quietly. Hitch is walking behind Sunny. When you come into view from behind her cart, he eyes you with suspicion. You keep expecting him to make a face or taunt you for failing so miserably in the wild, yet he never does.
The ponies had a whispered meeting when they found you in the campsite. As you sat by yourself, wrapping your bleeding feet with gauze, they spoke in a huddle and occasionally glanced your way. You guessed that the directions you gave to Sunny had brought them to some sort of impassible obstacle. They decided to backtrack. Then they found you.
You didn’t protest when Izzy helped you into the cart. You didn’t care. No energy to fight back, and no point in running away.
Izzy is a rather sizable mare. About four feet tall, hoof to horn. She is able to pull you along reasonably well, save for the odd time where a wheel gets stuck on something and she has to levitate the cart a bit to free it. Sometimes she also jostles the cart a bit as she whips her head to the side to admire a passing bird or dragonfly.
The path you are on follows a winding ridge along a series of hill-crested valleys. You can see the sprawling landscape stretching out when you look out to the side. All those trees. You wonder where you would be now if they hadn’t found you.
Now it seems you were back in their clutches. You wonder how long would they wait until they start to grill you for information again. How long you’d last before you’d wind up telling them everything. How they would react to knowing what really happened to you.
Sunny raises her head again. “Hey, Anon.” She says.
You look at her. Her eyes are narrowed apologetically.
“I wanted to tell you... about what I said at the ruins last week...” She says.
You remember her tearful face as it shouted at you. Those words that speared through your chest.
“Don’t be sorry,” You say. “I was being an asshole.”
“It’s just-” She says, but then tilts her head. “A donkey in a pit?”
You stare into space blankly. “It means a... heartless, cruel person.”
“Oh.” She says, giving a short nod. “Um, well...” She looks down, then back up at you. You know she’s trying to gauge your emotions right now. You feel drained. Empty. A hollow husk of a man.
“I would like it if we could... start over. I know I come on a little strong sometimes. It’s... gotten me into trouble in the past.” She says, smiling apprehensively.
“Would you... be okay with that?” She asks.
You take a slow breath. Why fight the inevitable? “Sure... consider your promise revoked, for now.”
Sunny smiles at you warmly, but then gasps a bit as your cart lurches to a halt.
You wobble around in your seat and your eyes go wide. “Oh horny toad butts!” Izzy says angrily. She strains at the harness, but this time the there must be a particularly nasty root gripping the wheel.
“Woah, Izzy.” Sunny says and unhooks herself. Izzy’s magic encircles the cart and it wiggles side to side. “I got it, I got it!” Izzy says as she strains. Sunny walks around to her.
“C’mon, let’s switch.” Sunny says. Izzy finally manages to get the cart loose. The spell releases the cart and you fell yourself drop a few inches as it levels out. Ow.
“No problem, relax~!” Izzy says to Sunny. Hitch has caught up to the four of you. “Is everything okay?” He asks and raises an eyebrow. “I think maybe we should redistribute the load.”
“Hm...” Sunny says. Suddenly she jumps up and puts her front hooves on the side of the cart. “Can you hop out for a sec?” She asks.
You glance at her. Slowly you uncurl your legs and open up your blanket cocoon. You hoist yourself out of the cart and stretch your legs.
“Ugh... fuck.” You say as you stand and put your weight on your bandaged feet. Your ass was falling asleep any way.
You turn and lean a hand on a nearby tree. You see the pegasus sisters gliding down towards Sunny and Izzy.
“Hey, why’d you stop?” Zipp asks as she lands. Pipp lands next to her gracefully and swishes her mane.
“Oh, we’re thinking of switching the carts.” Sunny says, as she helps Izzy undo her harness. “Izzy’s keeps getting stuck.”
Zipp looks at you. “Hey dude. How’s the feet?”
You look down and flex your toes. The bandages pull tight against the swollen blisters on your feet. Dark, clotted blood stains the gauze. Your soles ache down to the roots of your ankles.
“Not great.” You say.
Pipp rolls her eyes and flutters her wings. “Ugh... guess that’s a whole ‘no’ on the whole ‘he’ll walk with us’ thing.” You wince as you shift your body weight.
Hitch steps past you, his harness already detached. “Well, alright, I’ll take over then.” He says as he walks up to Izzy.
“No.” Izzy says sympathetically, “Anonymous is going to stick with me.” She looks at you like you’re a wounded puppy dog. Which, considering her perspective, is quite apt.
“Well,” Sunny says with an encouraging tone, “Look at it this way: you’ll have plenty of time to watch him once we get to Bridlewood.”
Izzy grins wide. Sunny spins on her hooves to face you.
“Oh, that’s the plan by the way,” She says with a smile. “Izzy will keep you safe and hidden while Hitch, Zipp, Pipp and I organize a better way to travel. The ponies in town aren’t... exactly ready for someone like you yet. But they will be some day!”
You sigh with relief a bit. You’ll be spared the interrogation, and you won’t end up surrounded by even more strange ponies. “Okay,” you say bluntly.
Sunny cocks her head, “Hey, don’t worry. You aren’t getting off that easily. You’re coming with us on our next journey! We’ll need your expertise.” She says with a sly smile.
You think about it for a moment. Too late to deny her now. The promise of rest and comfort is too enticing. “Okay. Fair enough.” You say and rub your neck.
Hitch switches carts with Izzy, and soon you are back on the trail. Izzy decides to walk behind your cart now. She sticks closely behind and smiles happily every time you accidentally make eye contact with her.
“We’re going to have so much fun.” Izzy whispers with a quiet giggle.
You can’t help but feel a lightened sensation in your chest, and the corners of your lips twitch, almost threatening to smile.
As you get close to Bridlewood, Zipp hands her saddlebag over to Hitch and then takes off to scout ahead for any ponies that might be milling about. She flies back a few minutes later and gives the all-clear. They had explained that Izzy’s house is set at the edge of town, so it will be easy to slip you in undetected. Still, just to be safe they hide you in the blanket again.
You hear Izzy whisper, “Alright, here we are~!” from behind your cart. A few moments later, your cart stops moving. You raise the blanket to peek an eye out, but Izzy levitates it off of you in one big swish. She beams a large smile and gestures a hoof to her right.
“Ta-dah!” She exclaims.
You lift yourself up off the cart and slowly stand up. You glimpse the abode of the cheerful unicorn, and immediately you feel a pang of regret. Of course she lives in a fucking tree. Fuck.
The other ponies are unhitching their carts and removing their bags in a hurry as you stare at the dwelling. Yet the more you look at it, the more differences you notice. The tree branches in three directions directly above the house. Most of it is situated inside the bottom trunk and root structure. The bark on the outside appears to have been painted with bright pinks and blues. All the windows are rounded, curved shapes which follow no patterns or rules in their design.
“C’mon, quick!” Sunny says. She’s standing at the front door, holding it open with a hoof and gesturing inside with her head. Before you can move, you feel two hooves pushing at your back and you quickly pick up your feet to keep balance.
You stumble quickly up the stairs and put a hand on the door frame. As usual for pony dwellings, the entrances are too small for you without crouching. You carefully bend and move your way inside the home.
You stand up inside a large atrium within the massive tree. As you glance around, you feel like you’ve stepped into the pony version of Pee Wee’s fucking Playhouse. Bizarre, fantastical art sculptures made from repurposed junk are everywhere. There are dozens upon dozens of paintings adorning the walls. Each one has a frame decorated with things like macaroni, glitter or bow ties.
The floor is made with smooth stone tiles in spiraling patterns. It feels cool to your feet as you walk further into the atrium to make room for the others.
“Welcome, Anon! This is my home!” Izzy says cheerfully as she trots in the door. She is followed by the other ponies. They walk in one at a time, tired but glad to be off the road.
You notice that there’s a spiral walkway up to a raised loft. A banister made from twisting branches runs along the edge. Like you suspected, the support structure of interior is made of living tree. You recognize the “paint” on the walls is just pastel chalk.
“Well, what do you think?” Izzy says excitedly. She is staring up at you with a huge smile, waiting for your approval.
“Uh,” you say, “It’s... very creative.”
“Thanks! I worked really hard on it.” She says, “Go ahead and sit down!”
You look around and don’t see any chairs. You decide to sit down on the crochet rug near the side of the room.
As you sit down, Izzy disappears into a different room. You hear the sounds of dishes clattering and metal pots banging around. The other ponies slowly sit down beside you, forming a circle on the floor. Sunny notices your apprehension and gives you a reassuring smile.
Suddenly Izzy comes back into the room pushing a short, wheeled table that resembles a flower. A tea kettle sits in the center along with a tray of snack foods. Each of the six petals has a tea cup and saucer arranged on them.
Izzy giggles as she pushes the table to the center of the circle you and the ponies had formed. “We have six now! Oh, this is amazing!” She says with manic glee. Pipp politely claps her hooves and Sunny wiggles her ears as she smiles at Izzy.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Hitch says slyly and grabs a bite-size cucumber sandwich. “You’re the best, Izzy.” Zipp says as her wings twitch excitedly.
“Oh, oh, watch this!” Izzy says as she grabs the kettle with two hooves and hoists it up over her head. She leans her horn towards the earthenware kettle and lets her magic spring forth. An aura of sparkles appears around the kettle, and for a moment nothing happens. Then it begins to tremble as steam whistles out of it.
“Instant hot water!” Izzy says proudly. The others gasp with delight. “Wow, Izzy! Where’d you learn that?” Sunny says with astonishment. Izzy levitates the kettle over to Hitch’s cup and pours it over the teabag inside.
“Oh, one of the ponies at the Crystal Tea Room showed me” Izzy explains, “Alphabittle hates it.” She says with a mirthful giggle.
One by one, Izzy fills the teacups. The fragrance of tea mixed with floral herbs fills the air. The ponies all chat, eat sandwiches and sip their tea.
To show a modest amount of tact to your host, you sip a bit of tea and eat a tiny sandwich. You don’t really feel like eating or talking. You stare at the steaming liquid in your cup and try to ignore the conversation. Yet as you do, you feel memories start to creep into your mind. The outdoor cafe in Ponyville. Sitting at those small tables sipping tea and eating sandwiches just like this.
You suddenly feel a nudge at your side. “Hey, it’ll be okay, dude.” Zipp has poked you with her wingtip. She smiles at you. You respond with slightly frustrated sigh.
You want to excuse yourself. You think of something.
“Hey, uh... Izzy.” You say, “Can I use your bathroom?”
Izzy’s eyes go wide and she nearly spits out her tea. She puts a hoof over her mouth. The other ponies look around awkwardly. Pipp’s teacup clatters in her saucer.
Izzy swallows her mouthful of tea and gently puts her cup down. “Sorry, heheh. I forgot you don’t know, uh... how Bridlewood works.” She says with a nervous giggle. “We uh, don’t exactly have great indoor plumbing here. So...”
She leans forward and squints her eyes. “Is it number one or two?” She whispers.
Everypony can clearly hear her, so you’re not sure why she’s whispering. You feel a wave of embarrassment wash over you. You feign a look of disgust and say “I just wanted to clean myself up a bit.”
To be fair, you do look and smell like absolute shit. Your clothes are all torn and stained. Your face is covered in coarse, uneven stubble. It’s hard to have a pleasant tea party in this condition.
“You’re telling me you have smartphones and electricity but not running water?” You ask incredulously.
“Well, you see-” Izzy says.
“Uh, rude.” Pipp interrupts. “Yes, pegasi have smartphones. We don’t expect everyone else to have them, though. It’s everypony’s own choice to live how they want.”
Zipp says, “That’s not what-”
Hitch says, “Yeah, and personally, I like how unicorns live. Sure they don’t have the amenities like roads, public transportation, refrigerators, police stations or fire brigades. But hey! They don’t need all of that. Plus they have magic now, too!” Hitch says confidently, punctuating it with a tap of his hoof.
“Right...” You say, thinking for a moment. “It’s just weird that technology would regress for some of the pony tribes while the other ones progressed.”
You assume the unicorns relied on magic almost entirely when they built their isolated little forest village. Who needs a toilet when you can just zap your shit away? But why shun the technology that already existed? Was it just out of pride?
Sunny picks up on your train of thought and leans forward with a curious look. “Anon. Do you remember if unicorns used to have a way to travel long distances?”
You sigh. Of course she would jump at the chance. You decide to throw her a bone.
“Well yeah, unicorns could teleport.” You say.
Sunny gasps. “So it is true! They really could do that! How did it work?” She says excitedly.
“Well, honestly I have no idea. I can’t do magic, remember? Plus I never liked getting teleported any way. I usually took a train or hot air balloon.” You explain.
Sunny’s eyes are glazed over with wonder as the visualizes it in her head. “Wait, a hot air balloon?” Zipp says.
She leans towards you. “We have those. Or rather, we had them. In Zephyr Heights, the pegasus city.” She says.
You shrug. “Well, what happened?” You ask.
“Everypony stopped using them. Once they had no reason to visit the other towns, they all just... forgot.” Zipp explains.
Hm. The pieces are starting to fall into place.
“So that’s why you were all hoofing it through the forest. I’m guessing none of the balloons still work.” You say.
Zipp nods. “We tried, but we just don’t have the parts to fix any of them. Or the fuel to fly them if we did get one working.” She explains quickly. “Everypony we’ve asked so far refuses to help us.”
She turns to the other ponies. They all frown slightly and nod their heads, except for Sunny. She smirks and flips out her journal.
“Just one more question, Anon.” She says, opening her journal. “What do you remember about how the balloons worked?”
“Well,” you say, “Some used enchanted urns to heat the air with magic. Others used tanks of pressurized fuel to create a controlled flame. Something like propane.”
Sunny is quickly writing this down in her journal, holding a pencil in her teeth. “Mhm. How do you spell that?”
You spell out the word “propane” for her. You’re not even sure that’s what they actually used, but at least it will keep them busy looking for a while.
“Fuel... fuel...” Hitch says, rubbing his chin. “What about the fuel they use for the machines at Canterlogic? Diesel! Right?”
You shake your head. “No, that won’t work. It has to come out of the nozzle as a gas. If you used diesel you’d probably just set everything on fire.”
“Oh.” Hitch says and turns his ears back. He and the rest of the ponies think.
You glance at Izzy and clear your throat. She looks at you and smiles.
“So... do you have a shower at least?” You ask her.
“Oh right!” She says, suddenly remembering your request, “Right through there, and its the second curtain on the right.” She points a hoof.
“Alright, thanks.” you say.
You get up and walk away, ducking down to pass through the doorway she pointed through. You hear the murmurs of conversation as the ponies continue to discuss.
You make your way down a small hallway. You pass a kitchen on your left that has an almost medieval look to it. Barrels lined up on shelves. A cast iron stove. Earthenware jars. Wash basins and wooden cabinets. The first curtain on the right blocks a stairway leading down. You find the bathroom behind the second curtain.
You step inside and close the curtain. Sure enough, you don’t see a toilet, or even a latrine. The stone tile floor has a drain in it, but that’s about it.
There’s a rectangular bathtub carved into the living stone of one of the walls. It is cluttered with a variety of objects around the rim. Glass vials, clay bottles, rubber ducks, soaps, a half-inflated plastic ring. On the other side of the room, there’s a small wooden basin on a shelf sitting in front of a mirror. You don’t see any water taps nearby.
You take another step inside, and your shoulder brushes against something. You see a metal rod with a hoof-sized handle at the end dangling from the ceiling. It appears to be connected to a copper-colored pipe that runs along the ceiling to a spot directly in the center of the room. There’s a shower head at the end that looks like it was made from a repurposed watering can.
You gently tug on the handle and a thin stream of water squirts from the spout and splashes on the floor. Quite a primitive design. It seems like there’s probably a tank of water on the upper story. Given the general hippy vibe of everything it’s probably collected rainwater.
The water was lukewarm and you had no way to adjust it, but it still felt good running down your body. The stone tiles were cool and smooth on your aching feet. As you scrubbed away some dirt, you accidentally opened up one of your wounds again. Blood trickled into the drain along with the water.
You finished showering and rinsed the blood off as best you could. You found a folded towel sitting in a basket and dried yourself with it. It was seafoam green and very soft. You tried to avoid getting blood on it.
For a while you stared at your reflection in the mirror. Your face was gaunt and your eyes were sunken. Your cheeks looked sunburnt beneath the gritty stubble. This body did not age along with your real body on Earth. Your body is the same physical age as when you left, yet the cold, distant look in your eyes betrays you.
The mirror had dozens of decorations plastered around the edge because of course it did. There were even some “inspiring” positive affirmations.
“You are beautiful!” The small note read. Fuck off, note. You don’t know me.
You managed to find a pair of scissors in the clutter. Not a razor, but it would do. You smeared your face with some sort of flowery scented oil and carefully shaved with the opened blade.
Your pile of clothes smelled awful. Your dress shirt and pants were covered in various stains. Your suit jacket had rips in the back, and the sleeves were nearly in tatters. You looked at it, unsure what to do. Maybe just go shirtless? Fuck, no that’s stupid.
You cut off a few strips from your jacket and bandage your clotted wounds.
You then start to scrub rub out the stains in the pits of the shirt with some soap. It’ll be a while before you can get more clothes made. Where did you even get this one, any way? You went through so many clothes in your day. You pull at the threads of memories in your mind. You are pretty sure this one was made by that stallion tailor in Manehattan. Fuck if you can remember his name. Not that it matters anymore. He made good suits, though.
You finish your reminiscing and shake out your shirt. You try to dry it off with a hair dryer you find. It ends up looking pretty wrinkled. With a deep sigh, you realize its time to go back out there. You reluctantly dress in just your shirt, pants and socks. You leave the towel hanging on the side of the bathtub.
You walk back out into the hallway and notice how dark it had gotten. The windows emitted only a faint orange light. Dusk had fallen outside. Strangely enough, there was a string of small light bulbs lighting the way. You touch one and it feels hot, like an incandescent. Seems to be electric.
You turn the corner and step back into the atrium. Izzy, Sunny and Hitch are seated on the floor. Sunny is laying on the floor, reading a a book with the aid of a small lantern. Izzy is laying on the ground as well, humming to herself softly and using her magic to arrange what appears to be a collection of buttons. Hitch is lying on his back, hooves behind his head as he stares at the ceiling.
Sunny notices you first and smiles. “Hey, there he is!” She says. Hitch sits up and Izzy’s mane whirls around as her eyes lock onto you.
“Hey.” You say as you walk over to them and sit on the floor.
“Well, do you feel better now?” Sunny asks.
Before you can answer, Izzy springs up off the floor and puts her muzzle very close to your shoulder. She closes her eyes and sniffs deeply. You lean back and grimace. What the fuck?
“Hey, you don’t smell as bad any more!” Izzy says with cheerful tone and sits back down.
“... Thanks.” You reply.
You glance around the dimly lit room. There’s more clusters of string lights around, and some small lamps here and there. There’s no sign of the pegasus sisters.
“So, uh...” You say to the ponies, “What happens now?”
Sunny nods and says, “We’re going to spend the night here. Then tomorrow Hitch and I are heading to Maretime Bay. We have a lead on a pony that might be able to help us fix the hot air balloons.”
Hitch nods. Sunny continues explaining.
“Zipp and Pipp will be flying to Zephyr Heights, and they’re going to track down that fuel you were talking about. There has to be some left somewhere. Or at least, some sign of where the ponies used to get it from.”
“Alright,” You say. “So-”
“Izzy will stay here with you and make sure you stay... uh, safe!” Sunny says with an awkward smile.
“You mean make sure I don’t run away, right?” You say.
“Um...” Sunny says as she searches for an excuse.
“Yep!” Izzy says with a grin. Well at least she’s honest.
You sigh. “Yeah, no. That’s fair.... I understand.” You say, rubbing your head. “I’m not sure what else I can help you with from here, though.”
Sunny shakes her head with a calm smile. “Anon, don’t worry about it, alright? You should spend some time just getting used to this new world. I understand it’s difficult, and we don’t want to push you too hard.”
You look at her with a bit of uncertainty.
“All you have to do is stay inside. Relax. Recuperate. Alright?” Sunny says, her ears perking up. “When we get back we’ll talk. If you feel up to it.”
You give a small nod. Sunny grins and nods back.
Izzy suddenly claps her hooves together, “Oh, I love relaxing! I am like, super good at it!” She says.
She suddenly springs to her hooves, knocking her tray of buttons across the floor. “C’mon Anon! Let me show you...” She says, walking back towards the doorway you came through.
“To the relaxation chamber!” She says triumphantly. You turn and stand up, but glance back to Sunny and Hitch.
Hitch says, “I, uh, better go see if Zipp and Pipp need any help with their tents. Sunny, will you come with me?”
Sunny, turns to Hitch and nods. “Alright.” She says, and they start walking towards the door together as you follow Izzy back through the doorway.
“Goodnight Anon!” Sunny says. You hold up a hand in acknowledgment.
Izzy leads you down the first curtain on the right. There’s a set of stone steps leading down a twisting passage to the roots of the tree. You have to crouch pretty low to fit down through there, but you make it.
You step into a basement with a low ceiling. You have to bend your head to dip under the roots running along the ceiling, but its not too bad.
The basement appears to be some sort of den or hangout spot. String lights run around the tops of the walls. There are spherical paper lamps colored in a variety of forest-inspired designs. On one side of the room is a gigantic bean bag chair that looks like a red and white spotted mushroom. It looks big enough to seat about five ponies, and it’s covered with an array of throw pillows and stuffed animals.
Izzy runs and flops belly-first onto the beanbag chair. “Ahh...” she sighs.
As you step further into the room, you notice also that there’s what appears to be a projector and a roll-up movie screen in one corner. There’s rows of plastic containers that look somewhat like VHS tape cassette cases lined on a shelf. There’s also... movie posters? One of them reads “Judgment Neigh”. There’s another that reads “Dirty Prancing”.
It seems Izzy doesn’t care to abide by some rules the unicorns might have against technology.
Izzy says, “C’mon Anon, you try! It’s super comfy!” You look and she is waving a hoof at you.
You walk over to the beanbag chair and carefully brush aside some pillows. You lean back to sit on the bag. Your mass shifts against it, and you sink into it while Izzy raises up a bit.
She wasn’t lying. It’s very comfortable. The outside is made from a cushy quilt-like fabric. The inside feels like it’s some combination of stuffing and small beans. You can’t help but let out a contented groan as a tingle runs up your spine. Your tired body is relieved from the burden of gravity.
Izzy looks at you with a satisfied smile. “There you go. You look like you might even be better at this than me.” She says happily.
Izzy slips off the bean bag and walks over to a shelf. She moves a few pillows and unfolds a blanket with her magic.
Your eyes are already starting to sag as she throws the blanket over you and makes sure it covers all but your neck and head.
Her eyes sparkle with delight as her horns stops glowing. “Aww! You look so cozy!” She touches her hooves to her cheeks as she adores you. You are too tired to protest.
With that, she spins and takes a step up the stairway. Her hoof presses a button on the wall, and the lights in the room go out. The only light left comes from a faint glow through the basement window.
“Goodnight Anon!” She says.
“Goodnight...” You reply sleepily.
Izzy walks up the stairs, and you feel yourself almost immediately start to drift off to sleep. Your eyes close and your head nods to the side.
Suddenly, you hear a faint, muffled voice. No, actually two voices.
You lean upwards and listen carefully. It seems to be coming from the window.
You silently slip off the beanbag chair and lean towards the semi-circular window. You cup your ear to it and start to pick out some words. It sounds like Sunny and Hitch.
“...not saying that, I just don’t know what he might be capable of.” Hitch says.
You hear Sunny sigh. “Hitch, Izzy is a big filly. She can handle herself! She’s taller than you, and plus she has magic! What is Anonymous going to do against that?” She says.
“I don’t know,” Hitch says, “Something about him just feels really... off. Like he’s hiding something we should really know. I’m just not sure we should leave her alone with him.”
You hear a few muffled hoofsteps. Sunny says, “Relax, Hitch. Anon’s harmless. His little wilderness phase is out of his system and he’s ready to cooperate.”
Hitch doesn’t respond.
“Plus,” Sunny says, “I know you want to check in with everyone back home. I’ll even buy you a smoothie, how’s that sound?”
You hear hoofsteps as their voices get fainter.
“Well, how about two smoothies? That seems fair.” Hitch says. “Hah! Well, we’ll see...” Sunny says.
You don’t hear any more voices. You quietly creep back to the beanbag and lay down. However, you aren’t feeling as tired any more.
For better or worse, Hitch had a point. You didn’t blame him for suspecting something. Your history with unicorns has not been the best.
You sigh deeply.
Izzy seems so innocent and naive, though. You think don’t think she’ll bring out your old tendencies from the past. She just wants a friend. And honestly, that’s what you need right now too.
You awake to a delicious aroma. The morning light is creeping in through the basement window, and you hear birds calling outside.
You climb up the stairs groggily. There’s the sound of something simmering in the kitchen down the hall.
You walk over and peek inside. Izzy is sitting by the cast iron stove, moving a wooden spatula around inside a pan.
“Morning Anon!” She says in a cute voice. She turns to look at you and beams. “Help yourself! I made a lot.”
You look over at a small wooden table. There’s several plates set out, each one carrying a tower of pancakes. Syrup and colorful sprinkles adorn each one.
“Uh, thanks!” You say, trying to sound appreciative.
“How much food do humans need, any way?” Izzy asks.
You don’t respond and instead grab the smallest stack you can find. You and Izzy move to the atrium to eat more comfortably than you can in the cramped kitchen. The pancakes are light, fluffy and very sugary. They are basically drenched in syrup, and split apart easily.
You eat as much as you can, but you hardly make a dent in it. You put your fork down.
“Sorry Izzy, I can’t eat another bite.” You say.
“Heheh,” Izzy giggles, “Nah, that’s okay. It’s so fun making pancakes now that I have magic, I kinda got carried away...”
You nod politely at her. “I really do appreciate you cooking though.”
“No problem.” Izzy says sweetly. She suddenly sits up. “So hey, what do you want to do today?”
“Uh...” You say. You think for a bit.
“Oh, do you like gizmos?! Check this out!” Izzy says excitedly.
She rushes into a side alcove and rustles around inside a box. She pulls out a hexagonal box with her hoof and scrambles back to you.
She holds it up to you and turns a small crank on the side of the box. Slowly the powdery blue walls of the box begin to unfurl and notes from a music box start playing. A small stuffed unicorn doll is posed like a dancer inside the box. It spins with a mechanical whirl, and it is wearing what looks like a navy-colored, full-body morph suit that stops at the neckline.
“Ta-dah! A unicorn in a unitard!” Izzy says with a huge smile.
You quirk an eyebrow. “Hm. You made this?” You ask as you take the box from her hoof.
“Yep!” She says, “Pretty funky, right?”
You look at the little doll as it spins. Its clothes look to be made out of some kind of nylon material. You suddenly remember your pile of smelly, destroyed clothing and your beaten-up shirt.
You set down the box. “Hey Izzy, how good are you at making clothes?” You ask.
The unicorn tilts her head and rubs her chin. “Well... I’d say I’m medium-okay at it.” She says, “Why?” Her ears perk up.
“Well, my clothes got kind of wrecked in the woods out there.” You explain, “I’d be more comfortable if I had... I dunno, a new shirt at least.”
“Oh,” Izzy says, nodding her head in understanding. “Yeah, it’s weird that you’re wearing those still. Why don’t you just take them off?”
Oh, that’s right. She doesn’t know shit about humans yet.
“Well,” you start, “Humans usually wear clothes almost all the time. It’s a human thing.”
Izzy tilts her head with a puzzled expression. Then she perks up and raises a hoof.
“Oh, I see! I know some unicorns that always wear clothes. Prim is always wearing that ascot whenever I see her. And Plum Patch has that beanie she loves.” She says with a smile.
“Well, it’s kind of like that.” You say. You decide to give her a brief overview of the reasons humans wear clothes, protection from the elements, warmth, no natural fur, et cetera. Izzy’s eyes glaze over a few times as you speak, and she keeps glancing to the sides. Yet she doesn’t interrupt and seems to be mostly paying attention.
You finish explaining and Izzy just tilts her head and looks at you pensively.
“Huh, weird. I didn’t know humans would be so complicated.” She says.
“Well, yeah. I mean didn’t Sunny tell you?” You ask.
“Oh, well she mostly just said you’re like a big monkey guy with no fur but you talk like a pony, like you have a pony brain, but its in a different kind of body.” She says with a shrug.
“Well, if that’s how you want to look at it, sure. That’s pretty accurate.” You say.
“Alright. So. New threads? New duds?” Izzy says as she walks over to an end table. She picks up a pair of large, nose-mounted spectacles and puts them on. “This mare has got you covered.” She says with a smile.
Soon you are looking over swatches of fabric and colored threads. Izzy’s choices are almost exclusively pastels or bright primary colors. There doesn’t seem to be enough of one color to make an entire shirt’s worth of fabric. Izzy says that most of these “reclaimed” from somewhere. Well, fuck. You decide to just let her go wild and use whatever she wants.
She takes some measurements on you, and then you help her trace out a design for a t-shirt. With the materials she’s using it will be more like a short-sleeved tunic, but oh well. She rolls out an old-fashioned sewing machine with a hoof pedal attached to it.
Soon she is sewing up the seams carefully, her magic powering the hoof pedal as she hums. Her eyes widen and she sticks her tongue out to the side as she works.
You decided to fully convert your shoes into flip-flops for now. Plus it makes you feel less guilty than you would if you just sat and watched her work.
You are threading twine through the holes you make in your detached shoe soles when you remember a question that had been burning away at you.
“So, uh, I notice you still have electricity here. That’s not taboo to unicorns, is it?” You ask.
“Nah,” Izzy says, “We have this big water wheel thingy and it spins like, all the time. It makes electricity they store in these big crystal jars. It’s really neat, actually!”
Izzy stops sewing and looks at you with her large, spectacled, purple eyes. “Sunny mentioned they had stuff like that in your world. Did you make stuff like that?”
You shake your head. “No, I didn’t have an important job like building hydroelectric dams.”
“Hydro-whanow?” Izzy says, making an exaggerated confused expression.
“Eh, never mind. What I mean is that... I was kind of a nobody. I just worked at an office building with other humans. Doing mundane tasks tasks and paperwork mostly. I bounced around a few jobs, but all of them were pretty much the same. Big office building, lots of corporate bullshit.” You say.
You don’t know why you’re explaining all this to her. You feel a bit relieved to be talking to someone so openly, even if it is just a random pony. There’s no way she really understands though.
“Wow...” Izzy says. Her eyes narrow. “No offense, but that sounds really, really boring.”
You smile and chuckle a bit. “Yeah, you have no idea.”
Izzy goes back to her sewing, humming tunelessly as she steadily guides and curves her hooves to angle the fabric just right.
You keep working on the sandals. As you finish up and are ready to test them out, you hear a clap of thunder and the sky outside flashes for a second. You turn and look out the front windows of the atrium. An overcast sky loomed above the trees, and you noticed a thin sprinkle of rain starting to spot the dirt trail outside.
“Looks like it’s going to rain.” You say to Izzy.
She doesn’t respond. She’s in some kind of creative trance. The sewing machine is whirring very quickly now, the pedal spinning as it glows brightly with arcane energy. Izzy’s hooves are quickly spinning the shirt around.
With a sudden flourish, she whips the cloth off the machine, winding down the machine quickly with her magic. With a small spark of her horn, she ties a knot in it and cuts the thread. She catches the shirt midair, spins on her hind hooves and turns it right-side out, shaking it out in the process.
“Done~!” She says in a sing-song voice.
Wow, you’re honestly impressed at how quickly she finished that. The tunic is made with cobalt blue patches on the back and sky blue patches on the front. She even sewed a little pocket into it with a lavender-colored patch, and there’s a small stylized flower in gold thread embroidered on it. It looks sturdy and comfortable to boot.
“Wow,” you say. You’re honestly impressed.
“Do you love it?” Izzy’s amethyst eyes are sparkling as she waits for your approval.
“That’s... amazing actually, great job.” You say. You stand up and grin.
Izzy trots in place and squeals with delight. “Ah! You have no idea how happy that makes me!”
She rushes up to you and levitates the tunic to your face. “Quick! Quick! Try it on!” She says.
You take it in your hands and flip it around. You pull it over your head and down over your dress shirt.
You turn to Izzy and put your hands on your hips. “How do I look?” You say.
Izzy whips off her glasses and stares at you, hoof to her chin. “Hm, it’s missing something...”
She taps her hoof on the floor. You glance down and roll up the sleeves of your dress shirt.
“Wait! I got it!” Izzy turns and starts bolting as quickly as she can toward an alcove, her hooves skidding on the stole tiles from her sudden acceleration. “Aah! Wait right here!”
She slides into a large box and springs off it, moving out of the way. A basket tumbles and hits the floor. You hear something break. She reaches into a big chest in the corner of the alcove and roots around inside.
She turns back and walks up to you with a cheeky smile on her face, levitating something behind the curtain of her mane.
“Close your eyes, Anon.” She says.
Hm. Okay... You comply with the unicorn.
You hear the ambient flow of magic from her horn and the gentle hum of the levitation spell as it floats a small object up towards your sternum. You feel a gentle pressure there.
“Okay! Okay! Open them!” Izzy urges.
You look down. Izzy has pinned a large broach to your tunic. It’s made from tarnished brass and has a pillow-cut emerald in the center.
“Huh.” You say.
“Emerald!” Izzy says, stretching out her forehooves to the sides.
“Yeah, I see that.” You say. It’s a bit tacky, but, eh... why not.
“No! Emerald!” Izzy says, pointing to your chest. “That’s the color of your sparkle!”
You look at her. “My what, now?” you ask.
“It was really dim at first, so I couldn’t tell.” Izzy says, “But when I saw you in the campsite, I new instantly!” She beams.
She seems like she’s talking about your ‘aura.’ Well, she is magic, so maybe she could sense things like that? You never had any unicorn tell you that you had an aura in the past though.
The rain starts to pick up outside. The sky is dark and the rush of droplets hitting the forest becomes a cacophonous roar.
Izzy doesn’t seem to really mind. “My sparkle is fuchsia, by the way.” She says, batting her eyelashes.
Suddenly there’s a clap of thunder behind you. For a moment you cast a long shadow, eclipsing the unicorn as it rises up the walls of the atrium.
She has a strange look in her eyes. As you touch the broach on your chest, you feel like this revelation means something in the unicorn culture.
“That’s... uh, interesting, Izzy.” You say, smiling a bit and hoping your nervousness doesn’t come trough.
“So,” she says, slowly running a hoof along the floor, “What do you wanna do now?”
You think and suddenly remember the movies downstairs. That might be fun on a rainy day, right?
You make the suggestion to Izzy and she agrees. Soon you are sitting on the beanbag chair, watching a schlocky action movie about a robot unicorn rampaging through an innocent earth pony town.
You spend the day watching movies, talking about various ones you have both seen, and discussing what genres you preferred. Izzy loved all movies, but you could tell from her slight blush that she especially liked romantic comedies.
You broke for lunch and dinner. The rain continued until evening fell, and the forest began to quiet again.
You convince her to watch one more before you go to bed. As the movie progresses, you notice that you and Izzy are starting to sink closer together due to your combined weight on the beanbag chair, and that you’ve both been slowly shifting it into a new shape through your coach-potato ways.
Izzy passes out around two thirds of the way through the movie. You don’t try to move away as Izzy’s head gently drifts against your shoulder. Her chest rises and falls in a smooth rhythm, and she has a contented smile on her face.
Her mane, now close to your cheek, smells of lavender and hibiscus, with that signature mare scent you know so well. It feels... nice. To have her close by you as you binge stupid movies and pass the time.
You feel like maybe this won’t be so bad. You close your eyes and think about what you might do tomorrow.
You wake up to the sound of gentle breathing near your ear. You’re warm. Very warm. Practically burning up. You eyes shoot open. Your eyes are shrouded in blue hair.
Fuck, Izzy must have rolled on top of you. She’s laying on her side, breathing in a steady rhythm right on your chest. Her hind legs are splayed out, with her forehooves tucked cutely up to her chest. Her mane is everywhere.
But that’s not all.
There’s a painful throbbing in your groin. It’s pressing into her flank.
Fuck! God damn morning wood.
You clench your eyes and grit your teeth. You try to think unsexy thoughts and calm down, yet the pressure and warmth of her is making your body respond despite your conscious efforts.
No, no. Shit.
You have to pull out the big guns. You take a deep breath. You remember Lyra.
You focus on the memory for a bit, then you let it slip away. That tail slipping through the door and it slamming shut. Bang. Like a rubber band smacking against your cerebellum.
Your heart sinks a bit, and you feel your boner fade. You breath out in one long sigh as you go limp.
Izzy stirs on top of you. Just in time.
You hear her yawn loudly. Her body tenses and she begins to stretch.
Suddenly she leans up and brushes her mane behind herself. She looks at you, shocked, and blinks.
“Uh,” she says, “Whoops! Ahahah!” She laughs nervously and her face flushes a bit.
You blink. “Uh, yeah sorry...”
Izzy rolls off you and stands up from the bag. “No, don’t worry! Hah! I just got really sleepy, that happens sometimes.”
She quickly walks over to the stairs and looks back. “Let me go make some breakfast! Then we can watch more movies if you want.” She smiles.
You nod and yawn. “Ah. Sure, that’d be great.” You say.
You start to panic a little as she disappears up the stairwell. Fucking hell, you hope she’s not crushing on you already. She seems so genuinely starved for someone to hang out with. She’s been nothing but nice to you this entire time.
You shake your head. No, that’s stupid. She just learned what you are. To her you’re probably still just a cute alien creature. You don’t have to worry about that.
You get up and stretch, and decide to go pee in the drain in the bathroom.
You quietly pee while running the tap while Izzy cooks. Suddenly you remember something.
Shit. What if Sunny told Izzy about your past with Twilight? Sure, you didn’t love her. Far from it really. But what if Izzy thinks you did at one point? What kind of ideas does she have in that head of hers?
You need to find a way to test this. How innocent is Ms. Moonbow really?
You come back into the kitchen where she is making toast and has different kinds of berry jelly sitting out.
It seems you both slept in. The late morning sun is already arcing in through the rounded windows of the kitchen.
You take a seat on a stool.
“Hey Izzy,” You ask.
“Hm? Yeah Anon?” Izzy says.
“I wanted to ask you.” You say, “I think maybe we should do something else today than just watch movies.”
Izzy keeps focusing on her cooking, her hoof moving around the toast on the hot iron griddle. “Like what?” She asks.
“Well, I was wondering... do you collect mushrooms?” You ask, trying to keep a level intonation.
Izzy tilts her ears towards you and glances your way.
“Well that’s a weird question. That’s like asking if earth ponies bale hay. Yeah, of course I collect mushrooms.” She says, then turns to the stove. “Sorry though, we can’t go outside today to look for any.”
“Right,” you say, “I meant, uh... can I see your mushroom collection? I want to see if you have a very... special kind.” You say.
Izzy suddenly flips the toast with her magic and glances back at you. Her eyes narrow.
“What, you think that just because I’m some prancing fa-la-la unicorn living in the woods and making cute custom crafts that I don’t know about the magic properties of mushrooms?” She says.
You smirk at her.
She slaps the pieces of toast onto a plate with her magic.
“Do you take me for a fool, Anon? What kinda potion you looking to brew, huh bud?” She says, prodding your arm with a hoof. “You wanna turn into a newt?” Her eyes widen.
“Maybe.” You say.
She looks you up and down. Her eyes land on the intrepid smirk plastered on your lips. “Ohh...” She says, her eyes glinting with recognition.
Then she spins and turns on her hooves. “Hm. Maybe, Anon. Maybe.”
She takes a few steps away. Then she stops.
She cranes her head around to look at you. Her eyes narrow, her horn points at you menacingly.
“Are you cool, Anon?” She asks.
You pretend to look oblivious. “Yeah?” You say with a shrug.
She walks over towards a kitchen drawer and opens it with a hoof. She pulls out something and turns to you. There’s a small, green bud with orange frills in her hoof. She looks at you with guarded, searching eyes.
“How cool?” She asks.
You cross your arms.
“I have never said ‘no’ when offered kind bud.” you say.
The unicorn’s face slowly morphs into a wide, devilish smile.
“Heheh, no seriously! No, seriously, Anon. Seriously! I’m gonna do it this time!” Izzy says, giggling intermittently.
Izzy pulls hard on the clay pipe and the ember inside glows orange. Her pupils narrow in and her eyes widen out as she takes the fattest rip yet.
She holds it for a second before pursing her lips and letting a puff of smoke blow out from them. The crisp white smoke forms an almost perfectly circular ring as it sails through the air.
“Aaand...!” Izzy says, inclining her horn towards the ring. “Horseshoe!” She exclaims, jabbing in a swift motion with her horn and slicing off a piece of the smoke ring.
As the ring spins it starts to come apart. For a half of a second, it is shaped like a perfect horseshoe.
You clap loudly and laugh. You look like a dope right now but you don’t give a shit. You are doped. “That’s amazing Izzy, you did it!”
“Yeah!” Izzy cheers and then giggles contentedly to herself. She leans towards you and holds out her hoof with the clay pipe resting on it.
You feel like she’s really far away as you reach over for the pipe. Your hand feels like its leaving after images in the air. Are your fingers longer than you remember? Fuck you’re already high.
You manage to put your fingers around the pipe and drag it from her hoof. Izzy’s eyes are burning pink and looking into yours. She is smiling so wide. You can see your reflection in her eyes. You lean back and hold up the pipe to your lips.
You toke. You exhale and feel the rush of the mare-y jane rise up from your chest in a smooth, warm wave. It feels like forever since you had some of this stuff. Unlike the shit on Earth, it has a slightly different high to it. It gives you a gradual uplifting feeling that plateaus without the onset of anxiety or paranoia. It’s simply nice. Not mind-blowing or so high you can’t move. It makes you feel warm and content. Yet at the same time a euphoric tinge covers everything, and you see the world from an adventurous new perspective.
Izzy is staring out the basement window and her head is wobbling from side to side. Her ears flop along with her head. Wait, how long have you been holding onto this pipe for?
“Hey,” you say to Izzy. You hold out the pipe.
“Oh, human man dude... I so wish we could go outside now.” Izzy says. She leans forward and coos as she stares into the light from the window.
“Uh, Izzy...” You say. She had a lot more puffs than you did. You figure her tolerance for the drug is pretty high, but she kept trying to impress you with those huge hits.
Suddenly she tips forward and slides her head to the floor, her flank in the air. She puts one forehoof up, then another. She leans up slowly and starts wandering up the stairs.
“Uh... Izzy, wait...” You say.
You put the pipe down on the stone floor. The ember fizzles out. You lean forward and crawl after Izzy.
Her long, curly tail is bobbing in your face as you climb up the stairs after her.
“I’m just going to look. Just going to look that’s all...” She says.
You can’t help but laugh. You’re getting high with a pony again, and you’re already off on an adventure.
She leads you to the atrium and quickly trots over to the door. She peeks her head out the door and looks both ways. You feel a bit lightheaded as you stand up in the atrium. The sun is belting down on the forest today. It looks so bright and full of color outside.
Izzy steps out the door and spins slowly around, her head looking back and forth. Her mane wobbles like a blue and violet wave. “Yeah...” She says.
“Izzy,” you say quietly. She doesn’t seem to hear you.
You bend down and crawl close to the door. The forest is looking splendid indeed. Golden sun rays fall in soft ribbons everywhere along the path. There’s only a light breeze in the air, and its slightly cool and damp.
“Psst!” You hiss at her.
Izzy’s ears dart in your direction. Her head turns incredibly slowly, like she’s forgotten where you were and needs to scan the horizon to find you. Her eyes finally meet your gaze and her ears perk up. She smiles.
“Oh, hey Anon. You should come outside.” She says.
“I thought Sunny said... that we weren’t supposed to go outside.” You explain slowly.
“Oh yeah...” Izzy says, she looks to the side and puts a hoof to her chin, nodding slowly.
She just stands there nodding for a while. Her gaze drifting like she’s following a cloud in the sky. “Eh.” She says with a shrug and then starts bouncing around to the back of her house.
“Wait-” you say, but she’s already disappeared. Against your better judgment, you place a foot out the door. You lean forward around the doorway and glance in both directions. The forest seems quiet. No hoofstep sounds on dirt. If you go now and go quick you can make it out of sight from the main path.
You quietly close the door behind you and then make a dash around the house, sprinting hard.
You slow down to a jog as you make it to the backyard. Izzy is humming and bouncing along into the woods ahead.
“Here we are...” Izzy says as she trots around a gigantic tree stump and into a clearing. There’s a thin stream gurgling over a bed of polished rocks nearby. The tiny clearing ahead has several stumps in it from modestly sized oak trees.
Izzy walks over and hops onto a stump. Her entire body is illuminated by a sunbeam. Her mane becomes almost incandescent as its blue strands shine brilliantly. Her face melts into one of absolute bliss, her eyelids close and her ears droop to the sides.
“Hoo...” She coos with delight, “That’s better.”
You stop walking to look at her. You blink due to a reflection off her solid white horn. It’s too bright.
She slowly lets her hooves slide away from her as she lays down on the stump. “This is my favorite place... in the whole forest...” She says. Her tail drifts lazily off the stump, cascading down to the forest floor.
You take a seat on a stump as well and sigh.
This little spot she picked out is certainly peaceful. Now that you aren’t fighting for your survival in it, you start to pick out the beauty of the woods around you.
You notice a perfect fairy circle of green and white capped mushrooms amidst a copse of young trees. A butterfly with purple wings and yellow tips floats effortlessly over the brook. A red squirrel silently bounds through wild flowers, causing the heads of daisies to bounce and sway.
Maybe it’s the weed, but it’s gorgeous.
“Hey, Izz- Woah!” You say as you turn to look at Izzy, but then immediately turn back.
Izzy is laying on her back, her legs outstretched as she basks in the sunlight. Her legs are open and she is pointing her butt directly at you.
You hear her shift up on the stump. “Huh, what’s up, Anon?”
You glance at her. She’s sitting up on her forehooves but her nethers are still in full display. You shield your eyes with a hand.
“Pff.. really Anon?” Izzy says, narrowing her eyes.
“Hey, it’s a human thing, alright? That’s another reason we wear clothes.” You say.
“Psch... what’s the big deal?” Izzy says, rolling her eyes. “It’s just my marehood! Look!”
She is pointing to it now. Dammit. Why are you smiling like an idiot? This shouldn’t be funny.
Yet her enthusiastic expression as she points to her vulva is incredibly amusing to you. You slowly lower your hand and take a good gander.
It’s not like you haven’t ever seen one before. It’s pretty much what you expected. It’s a slightly darker shade than the rest of her body and has the usual... features.
“Yep, so it is.” You say with a nod.
“Watch, I can make it talk!” She says.
Dear lord. She puts her hooves on her crotch and spreads herself open and closed. “Hello Anon. Its rude to stare don’t you know...?” Izzy says in a low, mocking tone and makes a silly face.
It’s too much. All you can do is burst out laughing.
You start laughing so hard you nearly double over. Izzy cracks up and laughs too. You keep going until your sides start hurting. It’s too fucking much. Jesus Christ. You have to lie down.
Still shaking with laughter, you slowly lower yourself down off the stump and lean against it.
“Oh fuck... god damn, Izzy.” You say as you finally catch your breath.
Izzy is smiling wide at you, now laying belly-down on the stump with her hooves hanging off the side.
“Well, go on, Anon, you try it.” Izzy says with self-satisfied smirk.
“Uh, no.” You say, shaking your head.
“Tch. Well, I think it’d help you relax if you let loose a little. C’mon, you’re not in the human world any more. Why do you care?” She says.
Hm. You scratch your chin. It’s not a bad point.
“It’ll feel really good~!” Izzy says in a sing-song voice. She smiles with cherub-like glee.
“Fine.” You say.
You stand up. You shake your head, feeling a bit lightheaded. You’re not sure if its the drug or how hard you laughed. You’re also not really sure why you’re about to do this.
You take the tunic off over your head. You unbutton your dress shirt and cast it aside.
Izzy giggles and covers her eyes with her hooves.
You kick off your flip-flops and take off your pants. With one final surge of confidence you pull down your boxer-briefs, and stand completely balls-out, dangle-cock naked.
“There.” You say. You put your hands on your hips.
Izzy peeks out an eye, then suddenly leans her head back as her eyes expand in awe. Then, a wavering smile spreads on her face.
“Bwahaha!” She explodes with laughter and taps the stump with her hoof.
Not the exact response you were hoping for, but hey, now she knows not to ask you again.
You throw your hands to the sides. “Well? Are you not entertained?” You say playfully.
“Oh my stars! Hahah! Human weenies are so weird! Why does it look like a mushroom?” She says, heartily laughing along the way.
You sigh. You slowly bend down to pull up your boxer briefs.
Izzy wipes a tear out of her eye and calms down. “Wait- wait!” She says. “You didn’t do the whole thing!”
You give her a criticizing stare.
“You need to let the sun hit your body! All of it!” Izzy says, then points a hoof up to the rays of sunshine slipping through the leaves.
“Really?” You say, quirking an eyebrow.
“Yes! That’s the way you’re supposed to do it!” Izzy says.
She hops off the stump and trots to a sunny spot on the grassy incline near the brook. She then flops on her back, her limbs spread out in the air.
You slowly walk over towards her, feeling a bit of trepidation. You lay down about four feet away from her in the soft, lush grass.
The sun pours down over your naked body. You let out a sigh and close your eyes. Your skin feels warm all over, but it doesn’t feel like you’re basking in comfort like Izzy. Still, you feel alright laying down like this. It’s a bit freeing, but perhaps for the wrong reasons. In all the times past when you’ve been naked around a mare, it’s been for obviously sexual intentions, or cleaning up after sex concluded. Here, in this moment, you do not sense any latent sexuality. She is laying naked because mares are always naked. You are laying naked because it is also your natural state.
It’s not a matter of what should be or shouldn’t. It just is. And for some reason, it feels okay.
You lay for a good while, letting your thoughts wander around in your stoned brain. Letting them go past like the butterflies floating across the sky.
For a moment you feel like things might be alright.
Unfortunately, the feeling fades. The high starts to dwindle, and you feel your skin start to burn.
You really don’t want to get sunburnt on your dick. You take one last slow breath and slowly raise up.
Izzy seems a little disappointed as she notices you get up, but she doesn’t protest. You walk over and put on your clothes again.
For a while you sit on the stump, letting Izzy lay contentedly on the grass. Eventually she tires of the sunbathing, and decides to get up and wander back to you.
“Well?” She says with a content sigh. Her eyes are no longer pink.
“Well,” you say, “It wasn’t bad.” You shrug with a polite smile.
“Hm.” She says. “Let’s get something to eat! I’m starving!”
You nod in agreement. “Munchies sound amazing.” You say.
You and Izzy are sitting in the atrium having a bit of tea after a very filling meal. The late afternoon light illuminates the atrium in an almost sepia haze.
Izzy has been smiling a lot. She seems really happy for your company. After the incident in the woods, your suspicions that she wants in a romantic way seem pretty moot. She didn’t give any signs that she was in estrus or anything, any way. It seems like she just really likes you as a friend, and her bubbly personality makes it hard to tell if she’s flirting.
Still, she kept really close to your side the whole way back to the tree home. She kept complimenting you on how glad you were that you tried out living the “pony life” for a bit. Almost as if she wants you to consider making it a habit.
You feel that nagging question at the back of your mind. You sip your tea, letting the warm chamomile slip down your throat, and you think up a way you might be able to prod the subject.
“So.” You say, lowering your tea cup down to its tiny saucer. “I got a question for you.”
Izzy looks at you, holding her cup to her muzzle with both hooves. “Yeah?” She asks before taking a sip.
You pretend to admire a random spot on the floor, before looking at her and smirking.
“So, what’s the deal with Hitch? Are he and Sunny like... a thing?” You ask.
Spill the tea, sis.
“Hm... nah!” Izzy says, flattening her ears. She leans a bit closer.
“They kinda had this on-again and off-again thing for a little bit, when they were teenagers. Or so she tells me.” Izzy says, her eyebrows raised slightly.
“Oh? What happened?” You say as you take another sip of tea.
“Well... they’ve been friends for a long time. Since they were foals pretty much. They both felt like it would ruin their friendship if things got too serious. Plus they kinda wanted different things for their life, yada yada.” Izzy says, gesturing as she talks.
“I know what you mean, though. Ugh, they would make such an adorable couple.” She says with brimming frustration.
“Hm... I see.” You rub a finger around the rim of your teacup.
“So... you haven’t known Sunny too long, right?”
“Hm? Oh no, not really, technically. We met for the first time a couple moons ago. It’s a really funny story actually.” Izzy says.
“Yeah, I remember you said it was like that movie we watched. Except you didn’t melt anyone’s face off with a horn laser.” You say.
“Heheh, yeah.” Izzy says.
“So... you’ve lived in this place... Bridlewood, for your whole life?” You ask.
“Mhm... yep.” Izzy nods. She levitates her teacup down.
“Do you-” You ask.
“I don’t have a lot of friends.” Izzy says, interrupting you. She looks to the side awkwardly. “In Bridlewood. I mean.”
Well alright. That explains a few things.
You are about to ask about how she grew up, but she speaks first. “Eh, so what about you, Anon? Do you have a special somepony in your life?” She asks animatedly, wiggling her eyebrows.
Shit. She’s turned it around on you.
“Uh...” You say, looking away.
“I mean... special some-human? Woman friend?” Izzy asks, tilting her head.
“Girlfriend. You mean.” You say.
“Ohh...” Izzy says.
You consider how much you should tell her. She has been very kind and considerate. Not to mention hospitable. It’s not like you don’t consider her a friend, yet you’re uneasy about how much you can trust her. Would she react like Sunny did? Would she call you out?
“... Touchy subject?” Izzy says, taking a quick sip.
You scratch your head. Fine. Whatever. Fuck it.
“I never had a girlfriend, Izzy.” You say.
“Huh?! Really?” Izzy says, genuinely surprised.
“Not in the human world, I mean. I did... however, in the past, when I lived in Equestria... I had marefriends.” You explain.
“Oh. Ohh.” Izzy says. “Oh. Really? Oh...”
The realization sinks into her slowly. Her eyes get as large as saucers and her ears twitch involuntarily, as if a new universe had imploded inside her brain and was expanding with a rapidly increasing horizon of possibilities.
She bites her lip and looks around, unsure what to say.
“Listen, it’s pretty complicated.” You say. “I was in Equestria for a long time, and... I dunno. It just sort of happened. I didn’t think I was the type to fall for another species either, but...”
You poke the floor. “When it comes down to it, ponies and humans are pretty much the same inside. We’re both sentient and sapient. We both use language. We both use tools. For all intents and purposes, there’s no reason that we both can’t... you know.” You say.
Izzy gulps. “D-date?” She asks.
“Yeah...” You say. “Well, I mean, fall in love. Consensually. As adults.”
You pause. This feels really awkward.
“Hah!” Izzy says, rolling her eyes. “Good one, Anon. You’re trying to prank me, huh?” She drains her teacup and then smirks at you.
“I’m not that dumb, come on!” She says.
You say nothing and glance away. You frown a little.
Izzy notices this and sets her tea cup down.
“You’re... not joking?” Izzy says.
“No. It was real.” You say.
Izzy seems a bit surprised.
“Oh. Okay.” She says. She looks around the atrium awkwardly before glancing back to you.
“Do you... want to tell me about them?” She asks.
You feel a pang of regret. Those old memories are stirring in the back of your mind. You don’t have to prove anything to this unicorn. So why do you feel compelled to speak?
“Well,” You say, “It’s... a pretty long story. Did Sunny already tell you about my life in Ponyville?”
Izzy tilts her ears. “Um... Hm...” She looks to the side pensively for a moment.
“Remember when you left me at the ruins and Sunny stayed behind?” You ask.
“Well, yeah. Sunny was really sad when she came back to camp. She had been crying. We asked her what what wrong, but she said that Anonymous wasn’t going to help us, and that we need to just move on. Then we sang some songs and ate, and she was alright the next day.” Izzy says.
You feel an awful sensation in your gut. You could have just explained it to her better if you weren’t so seething with rage. Still, Sunny didn’t divulge your secrets. She respected your feelings even though you treated her like that.
Izzy is eyeing you curiously. You take a deep breath and shake your head.
“Well, like I said... I had a lot of marefriends. I uh...” You trail off. You swallow. You really don’t want to fuck this up again.
“Hey. Anon.” Izzy says. “You don’t need to worry, okay?”
You look at her warm, empathetic smile. “You can tell me whatever you want and I won’t stop being your friend. I promise.” She says.
You smile a bit. A bit of confidence stirs in your chest.
“Well...” You say, “You remember that I lived in the time that Twilight Sparkle and her friends did, right? In Ponyvile?”
Izzy nods.
“It sounds stupid but... I just sort of woke up there one day. Right outside of town in a field of flowers.” You say.
“I had no idea where I was or how I got there. I just sort of... wandered right into the middle of Ponyville.” You say.
“Heh, I feel you.” Izzy says with a smile.
You grin a little. “So eventually those six ponies found me and tried to figure out what do do with me. Twilight believed there was a way to return me back home with her magic, but it would take a long time to figure out. I had to stay there temporarily in the meantime.”
“Uh huh.” Izzy says.
“So Twilight organized her friends to go and help me uh... ‘fit in’ to Ponyville. For lack of a better term. They found me a place to stay and introduced me to pretty much everyone in town.”
“Huh... a human strolling in the middle of ancient Ponyville. That would have been a trip.” Izzy says with a sassy smile.
“Yeah, it really was. All the ponies were kind of intimidated by me, too. But I tried my best to just... I dunno. Smile and be friendly? What else could I do, right?” You say.
“It turned out alright. They all seemed to calm down once Applejack and Rainbow Dash showed that I meant them no harm.” You shrug.
“So Twilight went off to uh, Canterlot. Where Celestia lived. You know about Celestia, right?” You ask.
“Yeah, duh. Sunny told me all about Celestia. She is super pretty by the way.” Izzy gushes.
“Hey, uh... did her mane really flow all the time like there was wind?” Izzy asks.
“Yeah.” You say and nod.
“No way...!” Izzy beams and stares into space.
“It was because she had a lot of... uh, ‘latent magic’ about her. She was incredibly powerful.” You say.
“So Twilight talked to Celestia in Canterlot and then came back to Ponyville. She told me that the spell she needed to send me back didn’t seem to exist. At least, not yet. Even Celestia and Luna didn’t know how to do multidimensional travel. So I was stuck indefinitely until Twilight uncovered something. She had no idea how long it would be, though.”
“Oh, okay.” Izzy says, “So you were really stuck there, huh?”
“Yeah, pretty much. But surprisingly, it got to be pretty normal after a while. It felt like an average, rural town. Things went by pretty slowly most of the time, unless some big disaster happened.” You say.
You scratch your head. Izzy leans forward and narrows her eyes.
“So... was it her?” Izzy asks.
“Twilight? Oh god, fuck no.” You say, and shake your head.
“Twilight was... I dunno. She was a good friend to me right away. I felt like I had this strange connection with her, like our fates were somehow aligned. Yet I wouldn’t call it love. It was a bit different.” You say.
Izzy smirks very smugly.
You glance at her and say, “Don’t-”
“Sounds like a crush to me.” Izzy says.
“Psch.” You say and roll your eyes. “Yeah right... she was never my marefriend.”
You cross your arms and glower.
Izzy leans back and tosses her head side to side playfully. “Well, okay, okay.” She says, “So who was the first, then?”
“Well...” You say, inhaling a deep breath. “I’ll tell you.”
“It was about... I dunno, maybe two moons after I first came to town. I had gotten pretty settled in. I spent more time around Ponyville and felt comfortable just... walking around. I still, you know, visited with Twilight and Pinkie and Rainbow pretty much every day. I felt like I could walk around fine without being escorted any more.”
“Uh huh, uh huh” Izzy says, leaning forward with anticipation.
“So...” You smile as you say. “I was strolling through the park outside town one day when I turned a corner and saw this pony sitting on a bench. She was a mare, a unicorn.”
“Ooh!” Izzy says, her hooves on her cheeks.
“She had a mint green coat, a cyan and white mane, and she was sitting in a very peculiar way.” You say.
You move to imitate a slouching unicorn on a park bench, sitting on her back.
“Like this.” You say.
Izzy gasps silently. You sit up normally again.
“Out of all the ponies in Ponyville, I never saw any sit like that before. Except for her. The thing is, she looked at me. And the moment our eyes met, I knew it. She was terrified. She was copying the way she saw me sit, and she knew I had caught her doing it.”
“No!” Izzy says. “Oh my stars! What did you do?”
“Nothing.” You say. “The moment she saw me she took off running. She didn’t look back once.”
“Oh.” Izzy says, a little confused.
“So, I asked around at the cafe later. One of the patrons had heard of her. Her name was Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings.”
Izzy is burning up with adoration. “Oh, that’s a cute name!”
You smirk, crossing your arms. “Well, I figured I’d run into her again sooner rather than later. Turns out she ended up running into me. You see, I was working to pay off my house there in Ponyville. It was a pretty fair deal, honestly. The ponies had found out that I was pretty good at a certain kind of job.”
You extend a hand and wiggle your fingers in the air with a flourish.
Izzy tilts her head in confusion, and one of her ears flops.
“They had a day spa in Ponyville.” You say, rubbing your chin. “I didn’t have many other skills I could apply, but I have very dexterous fingers, and an eye for details. So they put me to work helping groom ponies.”
Izzy’s eyes flash in recognition. She seems to be thinking about how your fingers work. Probably equating it to monkeys. Ah, speciesism.
“I could trim and polish a hoof much quicker than a pony can. I could brush out a mane or tail like that.” You say, with a snap. “So it seemed like a natural fit. Of course, I also did a lot of grunge work. Swept the floors. Cleaned the bathtubs. That sort of thing.”
“So...” Izzy says.
“So yeah, one day I was just sweeping up the hair one morning and all of a sudden I feel something bump into me. I look behind and Lyra was just standing there, looking up at me. She was trying to say something to me, but I couldn’t hear her. I asked her what she said, and she said really quietly: ‘hands’. Then she bolted and ran again. She didn’t even ask for a refund as she left.”
“She kept running?” Izzy says.
“Yeah...” You say. “I felt really bad. I know I’m really unusual to see around a town full of ponies, so I thought she viewed me as a monster or something. I asked Twilight how I should handle it. She told me that she knew Lyra through a friend, so she would arrange a time for us to meet so we could talk it out.”
Izzy nods.
“So Twilight puts this disguise spell on me, right? To everypony else, I would look like a normal stallion. Then she took me to an outdoor cafe near the center of town. She waited with me there until Lyra and her friend Aloe showed up.”
“Ooh...” Izzy says. “Sneaky.”
“So we were all sitting at a table, and Twilight took the disguise spell off me. Lyra freaked out a little, but she didn’t run away this time. Twilight started explaining everything I had told her about humans, and Lyra just... stared at me. The whole time. Twilight got done explaining it all, and then she and Aloe left us alone so we could talk openly.”
“So?!” Izzy says, she is leaning forward on her hooves, almost looking like she’s about to fall over.
“So... she told me that she already knew everything Twilight had said.” You say.
Izzy gasps.
“And more.” You say.
Izzy gasps again.
“She asked me a question, and she used a name I hadn’t heard a pony say since I got there.” You say. “She asked me what Earth was like. I had only mentioned that name to Twilight. I just called it the ‘human world’ for all the other ponies because it was just easier to explain that way. But somehow... Lyra knew.”
“How?” Izzy asks.
“Apparently, I wasn’t the only human to visit Equestria. There were others that visited, a long, long time ago. There wasn’t much about us in writing. The only book that mentioned humans was stolen from the Ponyville library, you see. Before Twilight even got there. It was taken... by her.” You say.
“To the book we were a weird anomaly. Thought to be some kind of mythological creatures that went extinct. Yet they left evidence behind. Drawings, writings. An article of clothing. Lyra loved it. Everyone thought she was crazy for thinking humans were once real.”
“No...” Izzy says, “No way!”
“Yeah. Crazy, right? It was like me coming into Ponyville and into her life was like a dream come true. She just couldn’t really... believe it I guess. She had been wanting to approach me and talk to me the whole time, but she couldn’t work up the nerve. That meeting with me at the cafe was what finally gave her the chance to do that. Needless to say, after that she really started to take a liking to me...”
Izzy gasps very loudly and covers her mouth with her hooves. Her eyes are shining brightly.
“So, then next thing I know-” You say.
Suddenly, Izzy’s mane is vibrating loudly.
“Uh...” You say. Izzy blinks and then whips her head to the side.
“Huh? Oh flipping frog butts!!” She says and reaches into her mane.
A vibrating smartphone falls and clatters to the ground. The screen is lit up and it has an icon with Sunny’s picture along with a green and red icons. “Sorry, Anon!” Izzy says and quickly scoops up the smartphone.
“Wait, you have service out here?” You ask.
Izzy holds the phone up her her ear, gripping it with the pony-accessible holder on the back.
“Sunny? Hey!” She says.
You hear a bit of Sunny’s voice through the small speaker. Izzy springs up to her hooves.
“Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice! Uh huh! Yeah he’s fine! He’s right here.” Izzy says, glancing at you. “Mhm! Yeah. No! Wait really? Huh.”
Izzy starts pacing on three hooves in a small circle as she talks. You shift around in your seat on the floor and watch her for a bit.
“Really? ... Hm, no I don’t think so. Well, okay. Yeah! Uh huh. Another day? Well yeah that’s fine. No, I don’t mind, seriously Sunny.”
One more day? Perhaps there was a delay in their plans. Huh.
Izzy continues chatting with Sunny on the phone. The conversation flows so naturally between them, unlike the stilted back-and-forth you have with Izzy. Izzy starts listening to a long explanation from Sunny, probably explaining the details of their forays into the pony towns. You stretch out a bit and decide to stand up.
No point in sitting here. It could be hours before they finish talking. You decide to make your way back downstairs and let them catch up.
You make a quick wave and smile to Izzy as you walk through the curtain and turn the corner.
Izzy levitates the phone with her magic and waves back with a smile, still listening intently to Sunny.
You make your way down the stairs. You hit the switch for the lights and the globes of light spark on all around the room. You notice that the clay pipe from before is still laying there.
Well, why not. It might be a while before you can do this again.
You’re sitting on the beanbag chair, holding a pipe. The ember has long gone out and you don’t really care. You are perplexed by what’s happening on the screen.
The Trottingham accents of these fucking unicorn ponies is so hard to understand. Plus the audio is purposefully made for shit, like it was recorded on a tape recorder that’s a thousand years old. The picture is all black and white and grainy, and you can hardly make heads or tails of the ponies in some scenes due to the awful lighting. What the fuck is this?
You had to rewind it half-way through because you kept spacing out. The movie is really long, too. It’s been what, two hours? More?
You’re starting to get really hungry. Maybe you should go up and grab a snack. Maybe Izzy’s off the phone now too.
You are just about to lean up off the mushroom when you hear a noise come from upstairs. A bump.
“Izzy?” You say.
Suddenly, the room goes dark. The globe lights fade to black. The screen cuts out immediately. Shit.
It’s really dark now. There’s no light at all outside. The clouds must have rolled in tonight and blocked out the moon. Did Izzy say it was going to rain earlier? Fuck.
You feel around for something. You don’t have any way to produce light. Your hands fumble around around on the pillows.
Suddenly you hear hoofsteps coming down the stairs.
You bolt upright. Your eyes strain in the darkness, but you can’t see anything.
“Izzy?!” You ask.
Your heart starts to beat loudly in your chest. The hoofsteps make it down the landing to the basement.
There’s a figure standing in the dark, right there, saying nothing.
Then a spark. A candle burns with a thick flame for a moment, illuminating a horn and a curly mane.
The candle moves downward in the air. The flickering light illuminates the face of a lavender unicorn, who has a very smug expression on her face.
“I figured you out, Anon.” She says.
The words feel like a cold knife running along your chest. You involuntarily grip the beanbag chair and lean back.
“Uh... d-did the electricity go out?” You ask.
Another candle floats in the air, suspended in a dim field of magical light. It touches the first one and ignites. Then it levitates to the floor, illuminating Izzy’s forelegs. Wait... Is she wearing socks?
No doubt about it. She has blue and white striped thigh-high stockings on. Oh god. Oh fuck. She keeps lighting candles and hovering them around with her magic. Oh shit... are those panties on her ass?
“Oh yes.” Izzy says in a sultry tone, “That... happens sometimes. Sorry, Anon... I hope you don’t mind a little...”
She sparks another candle close to her face. It reflects in the dark pits of her eyes, and her wanting smile flashes at you.
“Candlelight.” Izzy says.
You try to speak, but your mouth just trembles as you gawk. You feel yourself breathing hard. What the fuck is going on? She was totally acting like a platonic gal pal a few hours ago. What the fuck?
Izzy giggles and throws herself onto the beanbag chair. She lands with a force that jostles you a bit. You lean up.
“Ooh.” Izzy says as she slowly rolls to her side and smiles at you. “You noticed my stockings, huh?” She extends her forehoof daintily towards you.
Your stomach drops in your chest as you suddenly remember a peculiar fact about mare estrus cycles. Some mares are polyestrous and can go into estrus cycles out of season if the weather gets particularly warm and humid. It had rained yesterday and Izzy was sunning herself so much today... did that trigger something in her? Did she do it on purpose?
“I felt like... it was only fair.” She says, leaning forward towards you, her skin turning crimson under her full, plush cheeks. “You saw what being a pony was like. So I decided to try being a bit more... human.”
Izzy gazes at you with smitten expression.
“I uh... well...” You say nervously. Your body feels itchy and hot all over. Your neck feels damp with sweat.
“Shh...” Izzy says as she crawls towards you. “You don’t have to say anything. I figured it out, Anon. You have a type. Don’t you?” She smiles with a confident aura about her.
A type? Fuck! You told her about Lyra. She’s a unicorn...
Suddenly she puts a hoof on your chest. You are pushed to the beanbag chair and she moves on top of you, straddling your legs with four hooves.
“Mmf~” Izzy says with a soft giggle. Your body tenses up involuntarily.
“I know how lonely it must have been out there for you. All by yourself, without somepony to hold.” Izzy says. She lowers her cheek and grazes it affectionately against your chest.
“I know that feeling too, Anon... it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Izzy says.
“Izzy! S-stop.” You say, closing your eyes tight and gritting your teeth.
You shudder. Izzy lifts her head up.
“I uh, I like you, okay? B-but I think we should just be friends.” You say with a pleading expression. “I don’t... I don’t-”
“Of course we’re friends.” Izzy says sweetly. “This won’t change that...” She scoots closer to you and runs a hoof along your collarbone.
“W-what about Sunny and Hitch?” You say, cringing.
“Oh, they won’t be back until the day after tomorrow. Probably in the morning.” Izzy says. She nuzzles close to your neck, her mane pushes up against your cheek.
“I won’t tell them if you don’t want me to.” Izzy whispers.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
No. This isn’t happening.
“What I mean is...” You say. “Please stop. I don’t consent. I am not ready for this. Please. Please Izzy, I’m sorry. I don’t... I don’t want to.”
You are trembling without any conscious control over it.
“Oh...” Izzy says. She backs up and leans off you. “Oh.” Her eyebrows raise up.
She glances behind herself, and with a quick swish of her horn the lights come back on. She steps back off the beanbag chair, one hoof raised in the air. The candles in the room all go out at once and wisp smoke into the air.
“I’m... sorry Anon.” Izzy says, looking away.
You lean up, breathing a sigh of relief, but there’s a pit in your stomach. You had no other choice. You had to turn her down. You can’t let things end like they did last time.
“No... I’m sorry.” You say. “I wasn’t trying to lead you on or anything. I’m just...”
You rub your head. “I didn’t know you were on... you know. On your cycle.”
Izzy’s head whips around and her face is burning with embarrassment. “W-what? My cycle?!” She says, her eyes narrow with a scrutinizing glare.
“I mean, yeah... you’re in heat right?” You say.
“No!” Izzy says. She looks to the side, hiding behind her curtain of a mane.
Wait, what? Izzy stands still for a moment, then she lets out a big sigh.
“I... um... I just wanted to do it... because...” Izzy says quietly, her head drooping.
“You’ve been really nice to me... nicer than any stallion ever has.” Izzy says, daintily tracing a hoof along the floor. “I thought... maybe if I did this, we’d keep being friends... even after you have to go.”
Are you fucking serious right now? God damn... you figured that she maybe had a weird thing about friends abandoning her, but not to this degree.
“I thought you had a... thing for unicorns, you know. P-plus I felt your thing pressing into me the other night and...” Izzy looks up at you with tearful eyes. “I just thought it would be nice for you. I hear what stallions talk about to each other... I figured...”
Izzy looks away as she trails off. You slowly look down and take a breath. This situation is fucked, but it’s not the least fucked up one you’ve been in. You just thought that part of your life was over.
You lean forward, putting your elbows on your knees.
“Izzy, listen.” You say, “I want to be your friend. And I don’t think that’s going to change any time soon. But the Izzy I’m friends with doesn’t need to do... sexual favors for me. I like you just how you are. Okay?”
Izzy’s lip quivers. A large tear drops from her eye, partially hidden behind her mane.
She sniffles and starts to sob.
“Oh Anon!” She says. She rushes up to you and collapses against your chest. You lean back and catch her on instinct. You hold her gently in your arms as she begins to sob into your chest.
You rub her back softly. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.” You say. You guess it’s your turn to hold her as she cries. That’s fair, right...?
You sit there for a while, letting her get her emotions out on your comfy tunic. As she starts to calm down she curls up a little.
“You know, Izzy... there is one thing I want to do with a mare. One thing I haven’t done in a really long time.” You say.
She lifts her head up gently. “Really?” She asks, sniffing cutely.
You give her a small, warm smile. You take your hand and gently run it down her mane, letting your fingers thread through the soft, willowy strands.
Izzy smiles a bit and wipes her eyes.
You keep brushing Izzy’s mane with your fingers, then you gently sink your fingers in and massage her scalp with your fingertips. She lays her head on your chest. You let her get comfortable, and you softly scratch the small spots behind her ears.
“Ohh... That’s nice...” Izzy says gently. She melts against you. You feel elated. You didn’t get raped and... honestly, you did kinda miss doing this.
Izzy is soft and warm on your chest, and against your fingertips. There there, little pony. It will be okay.
Izzy wanted to move to the balcony of her home to get some fresh air. The night was cool and humid. Frogs echoed in the distance with the chirps of insects scattered around. You were outside, yet Izzy assured you that no pony would be walking by at this time of night.
You were running your fingers gently through Izzy’s mane as you both sat side-by-side, looking out over the winding, darkened path.
“So... you never finished your story.” Izzy says.
You forgot about that. “Yeah...” You respond.
You run your fingers through Izzy’s mane one last time, then put your hands in your lap. Should you tell her? You figure that after rejecting her, she should at least know the truth. But then again...
“Are you sure you want to know what happened, Izzy?” You say, looking at her. “This story... doesn’t have a happy ending.”
Izzy turns her head a bit and looks at you slowly. She seems a little hesitant, but then she simply says, “Yes. I would.”
You nod, then look out again from the balcony to the peaceful woods.
“Well, like I said... she took a liking to me pretty quick.” You say.
“The day after we first talked at the cafe, she knocked on my door after I got home from work. She gave me chocolates with a little note inside. It was... adorable. She was crushing on me hard. I didn’t really know what to do... I wasn’t really attracted to mares at the time, and I thought that if she knew what humans are really like, she wouldn’t like me any more.”
Izzy doesn’t respond, but her ears are pointed at you.
“Still, she kept doing that pretty much every day. Knocking on my door and inviting me out to eat. Giving me little gifts. We would chat over tea and sandwiches. I would tell her about humans, and she would tell me about ponies. She was always so excited to hear me talk...”
“Then one day she knocked on my door and I told her that I wanted to talk to her alone for a bit. She came inside and I sat her down... and I just told her all the awful things about humans that I didn’t mention yet. Things like how there’s war and violence almost all the time. How awful people treat each other. How they can be greedy, malevolent and downright cruel. Lyra didn’t care though. She listened to every word, and hardly batted an eye.”
You sigh.
“Well, then she kissed me.” You say. Izzy flashes her eyes towards you.
“And... it felt nice. I liked it. She told me that she didn’t care about all the bad stuff humans did, because she knew I was a good person, even if my species has done bad things.”
You remember it vividly now. Those large golden eyes. That feeling rising in your chest.
“After that, I... started to see her a lot more like a woman and less like a pony. And... well to put it simply, I fell for her. I fell hard.”
You let your story rest a second as you take a remorseful breath.
“We got married the following spring. Everypony was there... and heh, her roommate, Bon Bon, tried to crash the whole thing. Said it was wrong for a human to marry a pony. That was a whole episode...”
You smile a bit. Izzy gives you a look like she knows you’re stalling. You look away before you continue.
“Things were good. Really good. It was sometimes hard to support us both on my meager wages, but I didn’t care. Every day I woke up holding her, and every night I went to bed holding her. Those were the best few years of my life.” You say.
You blink. The tears are forming. You ache deep in your core.
“Yet... at the same time I grew pretty distant from all the other ponies. Especially Twilight and her friends. They started going off on adventures without me. Sometimes I didn’t hear from them for weeks. Then things with Lyra started getting... weird.”
That’s putting it lightly.
“After the initial novelty of us being two different species wore off, Lyra leaned in to her obsession more. She kept trying to push the boundaries... she developed a spell that let her make floating ghost hands, she wore clothes constantly... hell, she even tried walking around exclusively on two legs for a week.”
You feel a bit of guilt even now. You could have stopped her. But no, you were young and idiotic. You encouraged her. You thought together you’d find a way to make both your dreams come true.
“And that’s not to mention what happened in our bedroom... I’ll spare you the details.”
Izzy looks like she probably wouldn’t mind the details. But it’s really for your sake.
“Then... Twilight became a princess. An alicorn. I took that really poorly. I basically stopped seeing Twilight after that point. Lyra and I had money problems shortly after, and one of masseuses quit his job at the day spa. So to make more money I applied, and they gave it to me. I started doing that job and we had more bits to spare.”
“Lyra got worse though, she got really depressed because she wanted a way to turn into a human desperately. She... she wanted babies. Not foals or... adopting. She wanted me to give her human children, and... there wasn’t a way to make that happen.”
You hang your head.
“I tried to help her in every way that I could. But... she just got more and more depressed. I tried to show her how much I liked her the way she is, and that she didn’t need to change for me. B-but...”
You take a shaky breath.
“Nothing worked. I felt lonely. And... trapped. The worst part is... Lyra’s stories about me had gotten around to the other mares.”
You sigh. You really fucking hate this part.
“They... started coming to see me for massages. Specifically asking for me...”
Izzy looks at you with disbelief.
“I was young, Izzy. Stupid. Scared. I felt really alone.” You say as you clench your fist.
You demand that your eyes suck in the tears. Stop fucking crying.
“None of that fucking excuses what I did. I made a terrible mistake by cheating on her. Possibly the biggest mistake of my life. I couldn’t live with myself. Eventually broke down and... I came clean. I told Lyra what happened.”
“By that point, she was pretty done. I was feeling done too. She asked me if I thought we could still make it work, and...”
You choke on your words. You grit your teeth. The image of her face burns in your mind. For some reason you hear the whirring of a watch.
“I said I didn’t know.” You say.
Izzy says nothing. Her stare is blank and cold.
“She walked out the door, and I never saw her again.” You say.
Izzy frowns slightly. You blink and finally wipe your eyes.
“Things... really started to go downhill after that.” You say.
You let your words float out into the stagnant air of the cloudy, moonless night. Your story hangs there like a spider’s web. Gossamer strands suspended in the moment, spelling out your deeds to the world. A story long buried, now resurrected as a ghost.
Slowly the breeze picks up, and the forest whispers with wordless chatter all around.
“Okay.” Izzy says.
You gradually look over at her.
“That’s it? Just okay?” You say.
Suddenly Izzy’s back fur bristles and she shakes her head with a shiver.
“Bing bong.” She says quietly. Her tails flips up for a moment and flops to the ground.
You feel confused.
“Sorry... old habit.” Izzy explains. “Unicorns do that to shake off bad vibes.”
“Oh.” You say. “Does it work?”
Izzy frowns a bit. “Not really.”
You try it any way. You shake your head and whisper “Bing bong.”
Izzy smiles a bit. “Anon... If I had known all that, I wouldn’t have-”
“I know.” You say. “Don’t worry about it.”
There’s a comfortable silence.
You and Izzy both decide to go to bed. Her in her hammock bed, and you in the basement den.
The next morning you wake up, and this time you make breakfast. Fried eggs for yourself, and syrupy oatmeal for Izzy. She enjoys every bite.
Izzy needed to go into town to pick up groceries and try and hawk her artistic wares. She loaded up her cart with gizmos, paintings and sculptures and trotted off down the path.
You found a cozy alcove with a pillow for reading on. You passed the time reading books and occasionally wandering around the house, looking at her things.
Your thoughts eventually turned to Lyra again, like you knew they would.
You told a half-truth to Izzy. You did see Lyra again after that. Once, years later. That train you were riding on in Manehattan. You saw her on the train car opposite yours, didn’t you? She was sitting like all the other ponies, her hoof clutching the railing.
Her eyes were staring straight through you. Completely expressionless, like you weren’t even there. She didn’t blink or glance away. You saw her, but she didn’t see you.
Then the train started moving again. And that was it.
You pray to God that she found peace. You hope she died happily and loved. She deserved it.
Thank you, Lyra.
I’m sorry I fucked up your life.
But that was the thing wasn’t it? You never belonged in this world. The more connections you formed, the more it hurt when they inevitably cracked and fell to ruin.
You remind yourself of your curse. How else could one describe it? You were cursed. A fucked up ape man from a harsh, turbulent planet thrown into a world of cartoon ponies made from sunshine and magic. That only ends one way. The ponies trying to heal something that’s broken fundamentally, and they fail. That magic crystal won’t fit into this heart. Sorry, sister.
Best to keep things simple as much as possible. Don’t get tangled up in mares, or stallions for that matter. That way it would hurt less when you eventually went home.
Home.
Izzy’s place was comfortable, but transitory. You wondered where Sunny would try to send you next. Fuck. Are you her Spike now? Nah, you should be able to find a way to distance yourself... eventually.
The evening rolled around before Izzy came back. She was hauling groceries in her cart as well now. It didn’t seem like she sold too much, but she was happy nonetheless.
You helped her unload things and make dinner. Bread soup bowls filled with a hearty stew.
Izzy seemed a bit exhausted from the travel, so she decided to just stretch out in the atrium on a big pillow.
You sat next to her and leaned up against the wall, trying to finish up reading one of the books. Occasionally you would run your fingers through her mane and she would flick her ear casually.
“Hey, Anon...” She says, lifting her head up a bit and looking at you.
“Yes?” You ask.
“We’re still friends, right...?” She asks.
“Yeah.” You say.
“Okay... I um... have a request.” Izzy says.
You put down the book, keeping a thumb it in to save your place. “And what would that be?”
“Uh... well.” Izzy says. “This is weird, but... I just... uhm.”
You feel the temptation rise. You lift a finger and snake it gently through the air towards her muzzle.
“Boop.” You say as you tap her muzzle.
Izzy scrunches her face and blinks. She looks at you, a bit surprised.
“Just tell me.” You say. You shake your head and smile warmly.
Izzy sits up and brushes her mane back over her shoulder.
“I really... would like it if you could maybe, um, hold me for a bit?” Izzy says. She immediately droops her head as she says it.
“Hmm...” You say, rubbing your chin. “Just as friends?”
Izzy looks at you with round, watery eyes and nods once.
You let out a long sigh. “Alright. Not the first time I’ve been a cuddle prostitute.” You say and smirk cheekily.
Izzy smiles wide and immediately springs up.
“I suppose I owe you for being so cool to me. You get thirty minutes, max. And no funny stuff.” You say.
“Deal!” Izzy says, raising a hoof in the air.
She leads you to her hammock. After a bit of awkward tightening on the straps to support your weight, you lay down on it and she climbs into your waiting arms. She lays on her side and presses her back up to your chest.
You put your arms around her and pull her close. Your legs curl to support her butt. Your head rests comfortably on top of her wild, curly mane. Her horn is close to your head, but not too close for comfort.
Izzy lets out a prolonged sigh as she lets the sensation wash over her.
“T-thank you.” Izzy says quietly.
“Shh... it’s fine.” You say.
Izzy lays like that for a while, and you hold her. Her body is very warm under her thick coat of fur. Occasionally, she flicks her ear and adjusts her head slightly under your chin.
You see the delicate lines on her horn channel a thin magic aura. Then the hammock alights with a gentle pink hue, and she gives it a slight rocking sway.
She curls up more and then says, “I hope I find a stallion as kind as you one day, Anon.”
You let the statement fill the small space between you for a bit.
“I know you will one day, Izzy.” You say. “It’ll be great.”
The time passes. You realize you don’t have a way to keep track. Izzy doesn’t seem to have a clock up on the second floor. You lay with her for more than half an hour before you finally stretch yourself out a bit.
Izzy lifts her head and yawns quietly.
“Okay, Anon...” She says as she slips off the hammock.
She rubs her eyes and you stand up off the thing.
“Goodnight...” She says sleepily.
“Goodnight, Izzy.” You say.
You part and sleep in separate rooms. Tomorrow will be a big day.
You are sitting comfortably in the atrium the next morning when they arrive. Izzy notices first. She skids on her way to the door.
Izzy flings open the door and shouts, “Sunny! Hitch!”
You hear the distant responses of two ponies.
You put down the tea you were sipping on the end table, and rise up off your seat. Your tunic is clean, your face is freshly shaven, and you feel a lot more relaxed than you did three days ago.
Sunny is the first to trot inside the house, glancing up at you with a relieved grin. Her fur and thick braid are slick with sweat, like she just galloped five miles straight.
“Hey Anon!” She says, beaming. She flops her butt down on the stone tiles and breathes heavily.
Hitch follows after, walking in and flicking the sweat off his mane with a hoof. “Hoo!” He exclaims.
Hitch nearly double takes when he first sees you. He notices your fuzzy custom-made tunic, the dark slacks with rolled-up cuffs, and your bare feet in custom-made sandals with brightly dyed twine for straps. He cracks a smile.
“What in the hay did you do to the poor guy, Izzy?” Hitch chuckles as he takes a seat.
Izzy bounds in behind Hitch and hugs him from behind. “I know! Isn’t it great?!” She cackles with glee as she looks at you.
Hitch tilts his head in amazement. “Well, he certainly seems more... uh, comfortable, now.”
You smirk and adjust your shirt.
Sunny catches her breath and nods confidently at you. “You look like a new human, Anon!”
“Why thank you.” You say, bowing sarcastically. “Welcome back little pones.”
Sunny says. “Anon, I’d like to introduce the newest member of our team.”
Sunny shows you a bold smile as she gestures her hoof to the door.
An earth pony mare steps inside. She has a tan coat and an auburn mane cropped short in a small pony tail. She walks with the air of a professional contractor, surveying the home with studious eyes.
Her eyes go wide as she looks up at you. “Wow. Big fella, ain’t ‘cha?” She says. Her mouth hangs open for a moment.
The accent is pure Hope Hollow. Must be some of the descendants made it out to to Maretime Bay. Small world.
“Yes,” You say with a small smile. “I get that a lot.”
She takes a seat. “Name’s Spanner Sparks. Pleased ta meet ya.” She gives you a single-hoof salute.
“Ah, so you must be the one that’s going to repair the hot air balloons.” You ask.
“Well, yes,“ Sunny says. “But not exactly. One second.” She takes out a phone and wipes the screen clean with a wave of her fetlock.
“What’s this?” You ask, crouching down a bit.
“Well, to put it simply, we found something better than a hot air balloon.” Sunny says. She beams, then unlocks the phone with her hoof and holds it up to you.
There’s a video on the display. It begins with a close-up of Pipp’s face in a dark room, her camera’s flashlight the only source of light. “Oh. My. Feathers. We just hit the big time. You all NEED to see this! It’s super totes fab~!!” Pipp gushes as she trots in place.
The camera quickly spins around and focuses on something. It’s quite grainy due to the dim lighting, but you can make out what seems to be a cavernous hangar, inside which the massive bow of a ship towers in the darkness. You can tell from the reflected light that it is alabaster with gold trim, the floral motifs and the slender hull evoke a stunning reflection of Canterlot architectural aesthetics.
Most of the ship’s massive frame is covered in a disintegrating tan tarp. However, the camera zooms and focuses on a section above it. There’s a steel frame jutting out in a pylon above the top deck.
You’ve never seen an airship of this design, but it looks like it’s mostly intact aside from the giant balloon envelope and its inner ballonets. How did they-
“Pretty great, right?” Sunny says, raising her head up tall and puffing her chest out confidently.
“Well, well,” You say. “You found an airship.”
Sunny puts her phone away. You lean back and look at the four ponies. You cross your arms.
“Not too shabby. How’d you pull that off?” You ask.
“Long story. Zipp and Pipp found a hidden entrance beneath Zephyr Heights when they were searching for signs of natural gas storage or refinement.” Sunny says.
“Oh?” You ask.
“They followed this winding passageway to find it just sitting there. Do you know what this is, Anon? It’s a hangar! This ship has been preserved for generations right beneath Zephyr Heights!” Her braid flops around as she says excitedly.
The other ponies are all grinning proudly, they look excited. You feel the familiar rise of your skepticism edging into your mind.
“So the plan, if I’m getting this right, is to have you,” You say, pointing at Spanner, “Fix up this ship and get it running again?”
Spanner looks a bit flustered and leans her head back. “Well, I uh-” She says.
“It’ll be a team effort.” Sunny interrupts. Sunny and Hitch nod confidently. Izzy taps her hooves excitedly.
“Huh.” You say.
Sunny takes a step forward and leans her neck up at you.
“Anon, that’s not all.” She says. “There’s one more thing we need to get the airship working. One final piece.”
You roll your eyes and throw up your hands dramatically. “Oh let me guess, is it the power of friendship?” You say with a sarcastic smile.
“No, actually.” Sunny says, ignoring your tone. “We can’t use the crystals we have to power the ship. Zipp already tried.”
“Oh?” You ask. You lean forward curiously.
Sunny leans down to read something from her phone as she explains. “There’s a critical component missing: this airship runs on a magic amplification grid. None of the arcane components of the ship will work if there isn’t a stable field being generated.”
You scratch your chin. “Hm.” You say, lowering your brow. “Well what happened to the one already inside the ship?” You ask.
Hitch clears his throat. “We have reason to believe it was stolen.” He says.
Sunny nods. “There were signs of forced entry. We can’t tell how long ago it was, but it seems like the ship was partially scrapped. They took the amplification crystal for sure.”
“I see.” You say.
“We’ll need to discuss this, Anon. I need to know what kind of critters you think would be able to pry off steel doors from their hinges.” Hitch says with a authoritative tone.
“Hm... okay.” You say. You decide to take a seat back on the oversized pillow to think. “Doesn’t really narrow it down much.”
Sunny looks behind her at Spanner and Izzy. “Oh, and Spanner, please feel free to make yourself at home.”
Spanner flashes a slightly anxious smile as Izzy wraps a hoof around her back.
“Yeah! Let me show you around! It’s so great to meet another earth pony!” Izzy says as she leads Spanner towards the kitchen.
Sunny walks over and sits down in front of you. Hitch paces around the atrium as Sunny takes off her bookbag and retrieves her journal from inside. She flips it open with her teeth.
“We have reason to believe it might be a mythical creature of some kind.” She pages through, balancing it on her hoof.
“What, did they find tracks or something?”
Sunny nods. She pulls out a torn page from a book and slides it over on the floor to you.
You catch the parchment with your index and middle finger and flip it up to your face.
Looks to be a description of a canid species that walks on two legs with overgrown front paws and toenails. There’s a print that definitely looks like an oversized canine. A diamond dog? Could it really be?
“Hm.” You say, lowering the parchment. “Seems likely...”
Sunny grins.
“But why didn’t any pegasi notice them around?” You ask.
“They found a hole in one of the walls. It looks like it had collapsed inward, but they also found a narrow tunnel that had claw scrapes all over it.” Sunny explains.
You nod. So they came in from beneath.
“Unfortunately they couldn’t follow it, but the tunnel was intentionally collapsed further in. It would take months to dig out.” She says in a concerned tone.
“Alright.” You say, nodding. “Well, if it was diamond dogs, then they probably stole it as a treasure and not for its magical properties. They’re dumb as hell and they just like sparkly shit.”
Sunny tilts her head quickly. “Really?” She asks.
“Yeah, they are obsessed with precious gems. And if you don’t know when they stole it, who’s to say where it ended up? Could be miles underground for all we know.” You say with a shrug.
Hitch shakes his head as he trots over. “Nah, that doesn’t add up. Those dogs had a plan, I’m sure of it. They’re living around the area somewhere, and with your knowledge we can track them down.”
He stomps a hoof and looks at you with a challenging stare. “I’m sure of it!”
You shrug. “Well Sheriff, that’s fine. I won’t stop you from playing dog catcher if you want.” You say with a sly smile. He lowers his brow and frowns.
“You’ll see, Anon.” Hitch says with a cocky grin. “I’ve never been wrong about a case before.”
You nod politely with a smug look on your face. “Sure. We’ll see.” You say.
Sunny is making notes in her journal, moving the pen with her teeth. She takes the pen out of her mouth and leans back with a grin. “Alright Anon, so we just have to track them down to their hideout beneath Zephyr Heights, then steal it back from them, right?” She says.
“Essentially.” You say. “You could also just trick them into giving it to you.”
“Hm... Tricking them?” Sunny says, tapping pen to her chin.
“Yeah, you could just lure them into a trap, or hell, probably just throwing gems at them would work. They’re easily distracted.” You say.
Sunny is jotting all this down in her notebook.
You hear the voices of Izzy and Spanner reverberating from the kitchen. You can hear Izzy gushing about something. Spanner makes polite comments back to her.
“This will take some more investigating...” Sunny says as her eyes wander around the room. “Alright. For now let’s just get ready to move out to Zephyr Heights.”
“Hah,” You say, shaking your head. “Ready to rush off again already? You just got here.”
“There’s no time to lose, Anon!” Sunny says enthusiastically. “This is the biggest breakthrough to Ancient Equestria’s secrets that we’ve had in months!”
You smirk a bit. Yet you don’t feel too inspired.
“Alright, well I’ll be ready when you are.” You say.
Sunny and Hitch both turn to go check on their new friend in the kitchen. You lean back on the pillow, your hands behind your head.
Diamond dogs, really? You figured that other species survived. But why are dogs here of all places? You think about what other secrets might be down there along with the yellow-eyed mutts. You start to feel a bit self-conscious about the broach on your chest.
The journey to the pegasus city was largely uneventful, save for the method they used to sneak you in.
Riding a cargo crane up the side of a sheer cliff hundreds of feet in the air is not a lot of fun. Yet somehow you made it in one piece to the abandoned balloon station of the new pegasus metropolis.
All of the ponies, including Zipp and Pipp were waiting for you in the massive terminal. You gazed at the relics of Equestria’s past as you strolled along. An abundance of antiques hung on display or sat broken in tatters in the corners. Such a powerful emanation of history reverberates in the old place, and you feel a painful twinge of nostalgia.
It was glorious in a way, was it not?
The princesses on high in their soaring ramparts, the ships sailing blissfully across perfectly clear skies. The towering cities. The unfathomably wide coasts. Yes. Equestria had something called glory once. It was something to behold. Yet glory doesn’t last.
Glory doesn’t make you happy in the end.
The ponies led you through the back rooms of the station, to a hidden entrance behind a steam generator. There you followed a labyrinthine set of hallways and staircases from fired clay bricks. It lead to a set of heavy iron doors illuminated with a single dingy light bulb.
When the doors open, you glimpse it for the first time.
Now that you stand in front of it, you get a sense of scale to the airship immediately. The low angle of the footage from Pipp's minuscule vantage point made it look much bigger in the video. You would compare the size of the craft to something like a medium yacht. However, it looks sized to comfortably fit larger, perhaps more regal mares. Could it be a royal vessel?
There is a massive space above the craft for the missing balloon. However, they at least got the overhead lights working now.
Zipp leads you and the rest of the ponies up a catwalk. She had set up a temporary base of operations in one of the control room overlooks. Surprisingly, it was still connected to the power and water supplies of the city above. It had modern pony amenities built into the back office. It resembled a barracks of sorts, with cots and lockers lining the walls.
Zipp had spread out a collection of blueprints and device schematics on a big metal table in the main area of the control room. Pony-style terminals and data banks sit in front of the huge windows that look out into the hangar proper. The machines hum and glow with soft multicolored lights behind their buttons.
A fluorescent light over the table is the single brightest light source in the control room. Long shadows are cast on Zipp’s face as she briefs you all on the repair plans.
“So the steel frame only needs minor repairs to reconstruct from the parts we still have, as seen in this diagram here.” She explains. “I’ve marked the ones that were missing or destroyed in the margins.”
Spanner slides the paper over towards her with a hoof. “Hey, not to shabby. You folks are pretty organized. Not like the last job I was on, lemme tell ya.” She smiles a bit as she skims the paper.
Sunny perks up and slowly smiles. “So you think you can do it?” She asks.
Spanner rubs her chin with a hoof. “Well I’ll need to make sure you got the tools fer the job first, don’t cha know...”
Zipp shakes her head and says, “That won’t be a problem. If there’s anything you need, we’ll get it for you.”
Spanner nods, “Alrighty. Well, how are ya planning to make the envelope for the balloon?”
Zipp glances at Izzy. Izzy is wearing her large spectacles and suddenly stares with wide eyes.
“That’ll be Izzy’s job.” Zipp says.
Sunny nudges Izzy and smiles. “Think you can do it Izzy?”
Izzy sticks out her tongue and scrunches her face as she thinks. “Hmm...” She thinks. “I guess a hot air balloon is just like a big bean bag chair, right?” She asks.
You blink and choose not to comment.
“I mean, yeah, think of it like that!” Sunny says cheerfully.
Izzy rubs her hooves together. “Oh great! This will be my best craft yet!” She grins from ear to ear.
Hitch shifts around in his seat and then leans forward across the table.
“Well, then that just leaves one thing. The crystal.” He says in a grim tone.
Zipp nods, returning Hitch’s serious gaze.
Sunny leans in as well. “Well, I take it that there weren’t any leads about diamond dogs then...”
Zipp looks to the side and doesn’t answer. Pipp makes an uneasy face and shakes her head slowly.
Hitch grimaces and leans back. “Well, I didn’t want to have to do this, but I’m left with no choice.”
The other ponies all turn to look at him.
“I’m gonna have to go solo on this one. Track them down myself.” Hitch says. He shakes his mane and adjusts his chest strap.
Zipp shakes her head in disbelief. “Dude, you know that I know this city better than you, what do you think you’ll find?”
Hitch smirks, “Relax Zipp, I’m a professional. I know where criminals typically hide. You can come with me if you like, but you have to promise to keep up.”
“Oh really?” Zipp says. Her eyes narrow in genuine agitation, but you think you see the hint of a smile.
“Ugh,” Sunny says, “Hitch, if you think you can just go galloping into the night and play the hero again you’ve got another thing coming. We agreed that we’d all do this together, remember?”
Hitch looks a little defeated by the remark and lowers his gaze.
“What would be the most likely spot for a diamond dog to hide around the area? That’s what we need to discuss.” She says. “What do you think, Anon?”
You look up as you are suddenly thrust into the conversation. You rub your chin and lean forward on your small stool.
“Well... diamond dogs typically stick to mines. So if they’re anywhere around the city it would probably be hidden deep in a canyon or something.” You say.
“Honestly, it still seems unlikely to me. If there has been diamond dog activity, then some pony would have seen it by now.” You explain.
Wait a second. These ponies have the internet. Smart phones. If there were sightings of magic creatures that would be the best place to look.
You snap your fingers.
“Wait, I got it.” You say, pointing at Zipp. “Show me your internet, Zipp.”
Zipp raises her eyebrows. “Our what?”
“The communication network. You know, the thing linking all your phones?” You ask.
“Uh... right. What are you planning to do exactly...?” She asks.
“It’s simple,” You say with a smug sneer. “We let the other ponies do the work for us.”
The interface for pony computers are pretty puzzling at first. The buttons are large and clumsy, meant for hooves rather than fingers. The nubs on the mouse are meant to fit into pony hooves, and you can’t really get a comfortable grip on it.
Yet you manage. Zipp sat you down at the modern workstation she had set up on one of the office tables and showed you the ropes for their modern web applications. There’s news applications, live-streaming services, photo sharing apps, a pony version of twitter called “Flitter.” It seems so strangely familiar, yet the designs of the sites have a feeling that evokes soft pony sensibilities.
You are scrolling through photos taken in the last month that have the “creature” or “critter” tags on them. Unsurprisingly, all of the promising photos you found with the use of stronger keywords turned out to be blurry hoaxes or ponies trying to troll each other.
You intentionally avoided any posts relating to Pipp and her family. You know she released some photos and videos of you to her public a while back. You decided it was best not to know what the comments were saying.
You scroll more and more. After you count the fortieth selfie with some air-headed pegasus and a frog in the background you start to feel your patience slip. What was their obsession with amphibians? This post has over a thousand “yay” pon-mojis on it. Fuck.
You groan and lean back in your seat, stretching out your arms. You could use some nice tea right about now.
You glance back at Izzy, who is doodling designs on a big sheet of paper with colored pencils. Her eyes are sparkling behind the thick rims of her glasses.
Zipp is next to you on a separate pony workstation. She quickly scans through several tabs and scrolls around as she searches for any promising posts.
Pipp is sitting on a contemporary looking couch and scrolling through her phone. You doubt she’s trying to help out. Sunny, Hitch and Spanner are down in the hangar below, helping organize the tools for the repairs.
“Well, anything so far?” You ask Zipp.
“No... sorry, Anon.” Zipp says without looking away from the screen.
“Ah... well hell, would anyone like some tea?” You say. You stand up from your seat.
Izzy practically throws her head back the moment she hears the word “tea.” She catches her glasses before they fly off her muzzle.
“Oh! Yes. Me please!” She says.
Pipp doesn’t respond, but you assume she’s absorbed in some gossipy posts or something. Zipp glances back at you warmly. “Sure, that’d be nice.”
You make your way to the small tile kitchen in the back room. There’s an electric kettle, and Izzy made sure to bring a variety of teas.
You collect three tea mugs and start boiling the water. As it starts to steam, you suddenly hear a loud gasp from the other room and a murmur of pony chatter.
You walk back in to see the three ponies crowded around Pipp’s phone, looking at the small display with surprise.
“I can’t believe you found that, Pipp” Zipp says. Pipp’s eyes dart to you. There’s a glimmer of hope in them.
You walk over quickly and stand behind them, looking over their heads at the phone.
“What is this?” You ask.
The text is small, but you can make out a tweet. Or a “flit” as they are called. There’s a unicorn mare in the profile picture. It reads:
“Hey all, if you’re into bipedal types and you want to meet up, hit me up in the DMs. xoxo ;3”
You shudder when you see the winking pony smiley face with a cat-mouth.
“Where the fuck...?” You start to ask. You take a step back. For some reason, a chill runs down your spine.
Pipp looks back over her shoulder at you. There’s a hint of a self-assured smile on her face. You don’t like it. Her wings extend excitedly.
Pipp does a single skip towards you as she turns around. “Isn’t it great?! I found it when one of the colts in my Pipp Stream sent the link.” Pipp says.
“Having adoring fans willing to help you out anytime sure does pay off, huh?” She says and flips the end of her mane.
She presses something on her phone with a hoof and then turns it to you. She also presents a smug expression on her face.
“Well, what do you think, Anon?” She asks. You lean down and pick up the phone from her hoof.
You see the profile picture now in full view. Within the circular portrait is the face of a young-looking, slender unicorn mare. Her dark green coat matches well with her hazelnut eyes. Her mane is a vibrant blue, and it falls in two lavish waves that frame her face. She’s wearing heavy mascara and... is that lipstick?
Zipp and Izzy turn to you. You realize that you’re visibly cringing. You lower your brow and look back at the phone.
You quickly read the name of the account. “TrishyBae”. Seems like a nickname. Perhaps her name is Patricia? The visage of the young mare is haunting.
You tap the profile’s recent flits with the thick part of your thumbnail to simulate a hoof tap. The page takes a little bit to load, but eventually you start scrolling through the posts with your thumb.
Then you see it. A link to a picture on a different site. No text description. You tap it and it starts to load. What you see is terrible and blinding.
“Oh shit!” You say. You scrunch your eyes tightly closed for a moment.
“Anon?” Izzy says, you hear her take a few steps forward.
You lower the phone and blink a few times. You rub your eyes. “I’m alright.” You say in a nonchalant tone.
Izzy makes a face like she’s about to crack a joke at your expense. Zipp looks up curiously. “What did you find?”
“Just... something I have not seen in a long while. That’s all.” You say. You hesitate when you start to hand Pipp her phone back. You have to remind yourself that they are ponies. They don’t care.
You watch the faces of the ponies as they gaze in delight at the photo. They have a look of unsexual wonder about them, though they stare headlong into the exposed sextuple mammaries of a nude female diamond dog in a provocative pose.
“No way!!” Izzy beams.
“Woah!” Pipp exclaims.
Zipp tilts her head. “So that’s what they look like?”
You nod. “That’s a diamond dog alright.” You sigh slowly.
“But I am pretty sure that’s an illusion or something. Notice the background is in a treehouse like Izzy’s? Seems like this mare is just good at creating illusions. Either that, or there’s somehow a bipedal dog just wandering around Bridlewood” You explain.
“Woah.” Zipp says, her eyes alighting with new ideas, “So you’re saying that she might know something about diamond dogs, since she can make illusions of them?”
“Yeah, it would seem likely.” You say, rubbing your chin.
Pipp locks her phone and puts it under her wing. She then smiles smugly at you.
“Well, Anon...” She says, batting her eyelashes. “I have wanted to ask you something, actually.”
She titters under her breath. She takes a fluttery step forward.
“What was it like? You know...” She says.
“Um...” You say, your eyes narrowing on the little pink pegasus hopping forward.
Pipp sways her head to enunciate her question, her daring eyes locked on you.
“Dating a uni-”
“Ah!!” Izzy jolts so hard that her glasses really do fly off this time. Pipp gasps loudly as Izzy throws her hooves around her, one of them clapping over her mouth. Zipp says “Oh sh-!” Izzy’s glasses clatter to the ground.
You stand in shock. There’s a prolonged silence.
“What the hay, Izzy!” Pipp says, batting her hoof away. Izzy laughs nervously and leans away.
“Um... Anon,” Izzy says anxiously. “Please don’t get mad.” Izzy glances around nervously and starts to sweat.
Zipp looks at Izzy, then at Pipp, then at you. You see her start to put the pieces together in her head.
You realize your mouth is hanging open. You close it. You take a deep breath, trying to retain your composure.
Suddenly, Sunny bursts in through the metal door to the control room. The door smashes loudly against a desk as it flies open, and you tense up from the sound.
“What?” She asks, “What did you find?”
You glance back at Sunny, who’s looking at you with excited, heavy breaths.
You are sitting on top of a cot. The four ponies are sitting in a semi-circle in front of you, each with a warm cup of tea. You are leaned forward, your elbows on your knees.
There’s a stillness in the air. The barracks are dimly lit. Moody shadows splay out over the grungy tile walls.
“Listen, Anon... girls talk. It’s what we do... I’m sorry that you feel ashamed of your past. But we needed to know just in case it could help us down the line. We weren’t trying to judge you for it.” Sunny says.
She is absentmindedly tilting her teacup as she stares at you with a compassionate, warm smile.
“Honestly. We don’t care. If it makes you feel any better, we all came to the agreement that you weren’t at fault, alright? It was neither yours or hers.” She says.
The other mares all nod slowly. They are frowning sympathetically.
Izzy looks particularly sad. You aren’t sure if its because she’s reminded of your story or if she feels guilty for spilling the beans.
“The way I see it, you two just weren’t meant to be together. That’s fine. We all understand. Sometimes that can happen, even to ponies.” She says.
Well. Shit.
You sit up and slowly cross your arms.
“Alright, fine. That’s fair.” You say. “It’s probably better this way, any how.”
You suddenly hold up a finger.
“But.” You say. “If you think that I am going to go seduce a unicorn just so that we can find out what she maybe kinda knows about diamond dogs, then you are absolutely, one hundred percent mistaken.”
You lean forward and point aggressively at the ground.
“No. No. I will not. Do that.” You say.
Sunny stands up, “But Anon! This is our best lead yet!”
“All the other posts we found don’t lead anywhere. If there’s any pony that knows anything, it has to be her.” Zipp says, also standing.
Pipp stands up, her short frame becoming a menacing ball of fluff.
“It’s time to get back out there, Anon.” Pipp says with a challenging stare.
You sigh and it turns into a low growl in your throat. You drop your hand.
“What if it’s just a troll? Some pony making up a story?” You say.
“If it is, then we still need to check it out. It can’t be a coincidence that she made a diamond dog illusion that looks exactly like what you remember.” Sunny says.
Come to think of it. Is that what they looked like, exactly? Do you remember them looking that... perky? It was so long ago in that fucking dive bar. Are you expected to remember exactly what every anthro whore creature looks like? Fuck.
You grit your teeth and exhale hotly in the chilly little room.
“Well, what about the time it was posted? It could be someone trying to troll Pipp’s chat.” You say, gesturing at her.
“Nope! I checked. I wasn’t born yesterday, Anon. The post was made two days ago. Before I even mentioned anything in my Pipp Stream.” She says as she grins smugly.
“Fucking...” You say. You clutch your head and shake it slowly.
Izzy springs up. Her eyes are staring at you seriously and her mouth is flat.
“Anon!” She says as she takes two steps forward. She puts her hoof on your knee and leans up to your face.
“Well ‘god dammit’ Anon!” She shouts, borrowing your vocabulary, “If you’re gonna do this shit, then by god...”
Izzy speaks through her teeth as she glares. “You. Aren’t. Gonna. Do It. Alone.”
Izzy gives a powerful, confident grin and leans back to look at the others. The mares are standing up, matching Izzy’s grin with their own.
“We’ll be with you the whole way, ‘cowboy’” Zipp says.
“You can do this, Anon.” Sunny beams.
Pipp just smiles confidently. She knows she’s won, the fucking smug-ass marelet.
Hitch will probably never let you hear the end of this.
The rendezvous was scheduled through the DMs accordingly. Pipp, of course, spearheaded the effort, with you making pointed suggestions on how to respond to the more lurid remarks. Her excited hoof taps as she typed out your messages were agonizing.
It was done under a new account. Your own personal flitter. You really despise this mare-filled mountainous mega city.
Apparently, Ms. Trisha had been on vacation in Zephyr Heights for the past few days. She was feeling lonely and hoping to meet some “like-minded” friends in the area. The typical mating call of a desperate mare. You wondered what the prostitution laws are like in the deeper parts of the city.
However, just talking to wasn’t enough to seal the deal. Trisha needed to know that you were serious.
The ponies made you take a shirtless pic. Pipp said she would make it a “tasteful pic.”
She did not make it tasteful.
Yet it did the trick.
She was to meet you in a nightclub downtown, near the warehouse district. You would meet in one of the upstairs booths near the back side of the building. Zipp would help you sneak in. She had her own disguise already ready to go. Seemed to be a bit “familiar” with this part of downtown.
All you would need to do is talk for a while. Press her for details when the time is right, then schmooze on out of there. Easy. Simple.
Sunny and Hitch would be on scout duty. They would wait in line at the club and visually confirm the mare as she came in. Izzy would be there to organize a quick getaway from the back alley after Zipp drops you off.
Pipp would be the last line of defense. If anything bad happened, she would orchestrate a diversion on social media. Get ponies heads looking the other way. Just in case.
You can hear the commotion of the pegasus city’s night life in a dull but ever-present roar outside the carriage you’re in. The thumping of muffled bass-heavy music, the laughs and cries of pony joy, the clip-clopping of hundreds of hooves on pavement.
You glance around the dim carriage you are in. The inside slats are pulled tight so that only thin bands of neon streak in. Izzy waits on the bench seat across from you. Zipp is by her side.
“I just wanted to say. You look great, Anon.” Izzy says with a polite smile. She is wearing a pony-sized trench coat with matching fedora.
“Thanks, Izzy.” You say glumly. The new suit they got specially commissioned does feel well-made and comfortable, though.
Zipp is in a shimmering sky-blue dress and wearing a wavy blonde wig over her mohawk. She has applied spray color to her eyebrows along with exaggerated makeup on her face. The purples of her wings are carefully hidden beneath her blouse.
“We’re almost here.” She says. The fake mole on her cheek moves as she speaks.
“Anon, I’ll make sure the coast is clear before you head inside. Alright?” She says instructively.
“Yeah, I know, I know.” You say waving a hand dismissively.
The carriage suddenly lurches to a stop. Then it reverses. The carriage slowly pulls into a narrow back alley behind the nightclub. The sounds of the city slowly fade, and the wet natural stone of the area hums with misty ambiance.
This is it.
Time to face the ol’ demons.
The carriage stops. Izzy slowly gets up and peeks outside. She then uses her magic to lower the carriage steps below the door. She gives a nod to Zipp before hopping out.
Zipp gets up and walks out of the carriage, immediately adopting the alluring saunter of a young pegasus out on the town. She walks into the fog-laden alleyway as casually as if she was going to grab a bagel.
She gets to the end and glances around. She then raises a hoof to her ear.
“Comms check.” She says. Her voice comes through the wireless earpiece you are wearing.
“I read you.” Sunny says in the radio.
“Read you.” Hitch says.
Izzy whispers “Loud and clear.” She surveys the alleyway sneakily.
“Hitch and I are heading to the back of the line now. We’ll check in again in five.” Sunny says. “Over.”
“Copy that.” Zipp says casually. “Delivering the package now.”
Zipp turns to you, her aqua eyes glint in the deep alley. You get up and step out of the carriage.
Izzy smacks your butt as you descend the last step. “Go get ‘em champ.” She says with a proud smile.
Ugh. Thanks, Izzy.
Zipp slips her wings out of her dress and quickly flies up to a fire escape. She drops the ladder for you slowly, yet the old metal creaks on its hinges.
You reach up and grab the rungs. You pull yourself up the fire escape and stand up to the second story.
Zipp is already looking into an opened window. She carefully tucks in her wings, adjusts her tail clip and slips inside.
You follow her along the dingy metal walkway. The streets below you are humming with a resonant din. You walk carefully in the shadow of the building to avoid any pony seeing you.
You step into a small bathroom. A few stalls are near the windows, sitting empty. The churning of heavy electronic music is seeping through the crack in the door.
Zipp is peering out into the second floor hallway. She shuts it and watches you as you carefully slink forward. You nod at her when you’re by the door.
Zipp carefully peeks out again. You hear some hoofsteps down the hall, but they quickly grow distant. Zipp opens the door wide and trots out into the hall.
She leads you down the carpeted path to a room at the back. There’s small frosted glass windows on the titanium black door. She opens it and you slip into a room bathed in purple and blue LED lights. There’s a semi-circular booth made from some sort of synthetic black leather. The walls all have squares of fuzzy carpet hanging on them, dyed varying shades of blue.
You step around Zipp and awkwardly seat your lower body into the small booth. You take up a good two-thirds of it on your own. The small glass table presses against your stomach.
You adjust your tie and place your hands on the table.
“Remember the code phrase?” Zipp says as she examines you.
“Mayonnaise.” You say.
Zipp touches her ear. “Package delivered. Showtime.” She then nonchalantly pushes open the door and struts out.
The lights in the room slowly shift to red hues, then to yellow as you wait. You nervously scratch the table with your thumbnail. The cramped space, with the pulsing drone of music outside, feels difficult to breathe in.
“Zipp here. Anything yet?” Zipp says, finally breaking the silence.
“Negative Zipp, we’re still looking.” Sunny replies.
There’s a pause.
“Anon, are you getting a boner yet? Heheh...” Izzy whispers mischievously.
“Izzy!!” Sunny yells into the radio.
Ah, fuck. The feedback on that almost made your ear bleed. You reach up and try to adjust the earpiece.
“Keep the line clear, team. Settle down.” Hitch says cooly.
“Uh... oh horse-feathers. Visual confirmation. I have visual confirmation.” Zipp says quickly. You feel a jolt of surprise.
“Where sighted, repeat, where sighted?” Hitch says.
There’s a pause. You tense up a bit.
“She just walked up the stairs and is entering the hallway. Repeat. Entering hallway.” Zipp says.
Shit.
You take the earpiece out of your ear and slip it into your front pants pocket. Just in time, a slender shadow appears behind the frosted windows of the door.
Just be you. You clasp your hands together on the table and smile.
The door opens and you see a well-manicured dark brown hoof with puffy dark green fetlocks holding it open. She pokes her head around the doorframe. Her horn is bathed in blue light. Her vibrant mane almost seems to glow. Her dark eyes are wide in surprise and her lips are parted slightly.
“Oh. My. Stars and moon above.” She says, staring with eyes agape.
“Why hello.” You say. You do “the face.” Moderately impressed, but socially distant.
The unicorn quickly walks in. Her tail swishes inside and the booth’s door gently closes on its own. She gapes at you some more.
“Do you believe me now, Trisha?” You say, leaning forward a bit. You smile.
An instant and powerful blush flows into the cheeks of the unicorn as she nearly swoons backwards. Yet instead her neck cranes forward and her eyes are sparkling as they reflect the multicolored room.
“Amazing... I thought at best it would be another illusionist like me, but no... this is amazing... this is something else!” She says. She cranes her neck around and studies you.
Huh. Her voice sounds a tad... different than you expected.
She steps up to the booth and quickly hops into the seat.
“So! Oh my hoofness. I can’t believe it’s really a human. A real human right here in ZH!” She gushes. She giggles nervously. She can’t take her eyes off you.
“Yeah. I was just in the area when I saw your post. Seems pretty rare to find someone interested in... my kind.” You say cooly.
You lean forward on your elbow towards the mare.
“But you seemed pretty cool. Still do. But you seemed pretty cool as well.” You say.
Classic.
The unicorn begins to giggle nervously, her face lowers and she hides her shaky smile.
You lean back. “Well, you must have some questions. Feel free to ask away...”
You wave a hand casually.
“Then maybe I can ask you a few things...” You say. Add subtle tweak of the eyebrows. God, you’re a man-whore.
“Uhm... well...” The unicorn squeaks. She strokes a hoof over her mane. She pauses before glancing down to her purse.
“Let’s do this first.” She reaches a hoof inside and then levitates a small metal flask out of the bag. She giggles with giddy anticipation. Two miniature wine glasses also raise up out of her purse before being placed on the table. The magic aura fades.
“A little... pocket champagne to celebrate.” She says, unscrewing the cap.
Huh. A strange mare pouring you a drink she snuck in through her purse. You quirk an eyebrow. This feels a bit off.
“Hm, well, uh...” You say. She is already excitedly pouring a sparkling gold liquid into both glasses.
One of the glasses scoots across the table to you before stopping abruptly by your fingertips.
You look down at the fizzing, bubbling liquid. The shifting hues of the small room’s lights make it change into a froth of kaleidoscopic bubbles.
“I uh, I gave up alcohol a while back. Sorry.” You say.
“Oh, no worries. This is grape juice.” She says happily.
Shit. You feel a hot wave of panic set in.
She looks at you for a moment before raising her glass. “Oh I can’t stand alcohol either. It always makes me dizzy. I just was, like, you know... calling it champagne for a giggle.”
You force an awkward smile. You grip the tiny glass with your fingers.
“I just wanted it to feel a bit more...” She says, shrugging. “Special.” She downs the shot of sparkling grape juice in one gulp.
You watch her swallow. Then quickly you tilt back the glass. You set it down on the table. You swallow.
You didn’t see her put anything in, but just in case, it would be best to contact the others. You slowly move your hand under the table towards your front pants pocket.
You smirk at the mare. “Well, that’s... adorable. I hope your other tastes are a bit more adult, however.” You say.
Trisha is feeling a bit more confident now. She leans forward on her hoof.
“Oh, honey... you have no idea.” She says.
You slip your hand into your front pocket. You feel for the receiver.
“So,” You say as you tilt your head, “About those diamond dogs you conjure up...”
Fuck. Where is it? You put it right here.
Trisha titters. “Oh, those old illusions? Why...” She says.
Suddenly, Trisha’s voice drops. She sounds a lot deeper.
“It’s all just smoke and mirrors.” Trisha says with a stallion’s voice.
Your eyes go wide. You reach into your other front pocket quickly.
“Looking for this?” Trisha slaps the receiver onto the counter. She grinds it with her hoof and you hear the snap of plastic.
Fight or flight mode. You choose flight. You try to turn and bolt from the seat but your tie is caught in something. A magic aura.
“Fuck off-” You say as you yank your tie.
You are suddenly struck by what feels like the paw of a grizzly bear.
Your neck twists. You feel like you’re falling. Darkness.
A cold splash of water is what you come to. You gasp for air. Rivulets of water run down your face.
You blink your eyes and see a dark room illuminated by a single bright, hot light. Your chest is cold. You have no shirt. Ropes pull at your pectorals and biceps. Your feet are cold, too. Your pants are still on. Thank fuck. You scan the room quickly.
Restraints on wrists and legs. Tied to heavy wooden chair. Concrete ground. Metal table nearby. Rusty drain in the floor. Focus. Remember details.
You shiver. Your neck is stinging with a dull pain that rolls in waves. It feels bruised.
“Wakey, wakey. My little human.”
You hear the sinister tone of a teenage stallion. High-pitched hoofsteps sound off in the shadows.
A metal chair is dragged across the floor with a dim orange aura. It squeals along the floor with a horrible noise. It moves into the edge of the circle of light, several feet away.
The body of the young adult stallion appears. He is slender, like Trisha. Yet his mane is a curly, black mess of strands and his androgynous face now looks boyish without the aid of concealing makeup.
He is glowering at you with the hate of a ancient celestial god.
“Disappointed? Expecting somepony else?!” He says. “You filthy fucking degenerate. You insufferable pig skin monkey. Hahah.”
He grins viciously as he takes a seat on the chair, leaning forward into the light. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you, Mr. Anonymous?” He says.
“I knew you’d take the bait...” He says with an elongated sigh. ”So predictable... one more mare to add to your list!”
“Fuck you.” You say. “You’re making a gigantic mistake by doing this.” Your fists ball up. Your arms strain against the restraints. “My fri-”
“Oh! Oh! You mean your friends, right? Your friends? They’re coming to save you, huh? Those mares you already added to your little... herd.” He says. Every word is filled with venom.
Your body tenses.
“A stallion too, huh? How low can you get? I bet you didn’t even care what you found under my dress, huh? Hahah.” He says, laughing mockingly.
“Look... man, you have got this all wrong.” You say. “All I wanted was information from you. That was it. If you’re on some sort of justice kick trying to take down inter-species perverts, you have the completely wrong idea.” You say.
He sneers and lurches off his seat.
“That’s... what you think this is about?” He says quietly. Long shadows creep over his face as he keeps stepping forward towards you.
He stops.
“Are you mentally impaired? Hm? Perhaps a bit of memory loss after... you know-” He says. He then clacks his hoof against his skull. “Your little accident?”
Your eyes go wide.
“You see, I know a lot about you, human. Pipp Petals introduced me right to you from the very beginning. Don’t you remember?”
You can do nothing but seethe.
He flips a light switch with a burst of magic. A monitor sitting back on the table turns on. There’s a picture of you. You’re sitting in the cot in the medical tent of the campsite. Your surprised expression is reminiscent of a cave-dwelling neanderthal. You have a bandage wrapped around your head.
He then turns the monitor off. “What, did you think your friend Sunny was the only pony that researched ancient creatures? Did you really think no other ponies would be interested in finding out about an mythological specimen just showing up out of nowhere?” He says.
“I knew what you were from the start, you ape. I know exactly who and what you are.” He says.
“H-how?” You ask.
He tilts his head to the side casually.
“Hah, you really are dense! You idiot! Isn’t it obvious?!” He throws his head back.
He tilts his body angling it underneath the light. He raises up one forehoof and sticks out his hind leg. He swishes his mane aside in an exaggerated mare-like manner. His cutie mark is on display. It’s a white question mark with a dotted black outline. The dot has been replaced with an X like a treasure map.
“Don’t I look even a little bit familiar to you? Huh? Can you even guess?!” He says with a sinister sneer.
What the fuck does that mean? Wait... no. The green coat? The unicorn lineage? The obsession with bipedal creatures? He can’t seriously be thinking...
Your head droops. You take a breath and slowly shake your head.
“Yes!” The stallion says. “There you go! Hahah!” He says, laughing coldly.
You can’t believe him. It doesn’t work like that. You and Lyra tried so many times to make something work, but... even rearing a foal proved to be impossible.
“Oh this is simply delicious. So what should I call you, huh? My great-great-great-great-great grandfather?” He chuckles to himself as he sways on his hooves.
“Hahah!” He laughs, throwing his head back.
He takes a bold step forward. He starts to creeps towards you slowly.
“We’re related, Anonymous. I’m your kin. That means you owe me something. Something for bringing me into this world as a fucked up, broken stallion just because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants.”
“W-wait.” You say, slowly leaning back.
He glances up at you hesitantly.
“What you said is impossible. We never had children. Lyra and I never...” You say, trying to chose your words carefully.
He trots up to you. His eyes are burning with hints of orange in the brown. He bares his nubby rows of teeth. His greasy mane runs around his eyes in bunchy strands.
He sits down on the floor a few feet away.
“Don’t deny it.” He says. “I’ll prove it to you.”
He raises up one of his hooves. His long, unshorn green fetlocks fold down.
His horn lights up. The heart-shaped groove on his hoof glows with a pale orange light and a misty magic emanation flows forth.
It forms into the shape of a bear claw. No, wait. The pads on the paw look almost wolf-like. It’s a-
“You know what this is, right? It’s a diamond dog paw spell.” He says.
The oversized claws on the ghostly paw bend and articulate individually as he flexes it.
“They are so very powerful. These claws never get dull, you know. Perfect for chipping away at stone, dirt, wood...” He says, admiring his paw.
“How do you think I got this spell, human?” He asks.
“Uh...” You say. Your memory is hazy. The adrenaline rush from the situation isn’t helping either.
He clasps the paw on your forearm.
“Think. Monkey.” He clenches the paw. The sharp, shovel-like claws dig into your flesh, piercing it with the tips. Rivulets of blood trickle from the wounds, and pain shoots up to your shoulder.
“Gah! F-fuck!” You say.
You suddenly think of something.
“T-the uh... spellbook! Lyra wrote. She wrote a spellbook.” You say.
“Good. Very good.” He says in a mocking tone. He releases his grip.
He lets his spell dissolve and his horn stops glowing. He spins away from you and steps towards the table.
But that book was barely distributed. You helped Lyra write it and tried to get it published, but it didn’t sell many copies. What pony would want a spell for human hands? You thought all the copies were destroyed by now. Rotted away.
He spins back towards you, his horn is levitating a book.
It is a hardcover book bound in a glossy mint green color. The cover is very worn and scratched from time, but you can still make out the shape of the embossed symbol on the front. Her harp.
Your head lowers as the realization towers above your head.
He’s used Lyra’s methods for his own obsessive passion. Even if you aren’t related, in some way, you have created what you see before you. You enabled Lyra to write the book.
“You guessed it. I’m actually a little impressed.” He says.
“Great grand-mare had some brilliant ideas. They just needed a little tweaking. She was interested in the wrong kind of mammal. That’s all.” He explains.
He drops the book and it slaps hard against the ground.
He gives you a condescending look, the aura of his corrupted power is around him.
“I know how you treat ponies, human. I know your true nature. I found out about your little story with Ms. Heartstrings. I also watched you work your charms on Ms. Moonbow. You enjoy making ponies into play-things, don’t you? Things for you to abuse and throw away.” He says scornfully.
“Well I think it’s time you got a taste of what that’s like... heheh.” He says. He sits down on the floor comfortably again.
He leans forward, leering with his thin yellowed eyes behind his black strands of mane. His horn pierces the dark void above him.
“I’m making you a deal monkey. Listen closely, because I’m only saying this once. Become my slave. Or, I’ll put you down right here, right now.” He says.
“What?” You say.
Fuck. You didn’t think he’d push an ultimatum on you so quickly. Is he bluffing? Maybe you can stall to buy yourself some time.
“Tick. Tock. Anon.” He says.
“Wait, what are the conditions for this... arrangement? Exactly.” You ask. Fuck, don’t panic, think.
He rolls his eyes. “Ugh... it’s simple, you idiot. You will help me steal all the most powerful magic artifacts in Equestria. Starting with, of course, those little crystals your marefriends have. Then...”
Oh. So he’s the one who stole the amplification crystal.
He leans forward a bit. “Then we bring back the glory of Equestria. The real Equestria. The one you know. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want that now, right? Heheh...”
He tilts his head with a disgusted expression.
“If you’re a good little pet monkey... I might even throw you a mare and a small plot of land. How does that sound? A nice peasant lifestyle in my glorious empire.”
You decide to try and act dumb. “Wait. You mean... it was you, right?”
He sighs and rolls his eyes again. “Yes, monkey.”
“You stole the artifact? The big crystal amplification one. That resonates with the magic ka-jiggers and what not. Right?” You ask.
You smile awkwardly.
The stallion smugly examines you.
Suddenly, he whips his head towards you and his horn glows with hot, bright orange. A sharp claw dances and flicks across your cheek, putting a gouge in your flesh. You feel the hot sting of pain and wince.
“Shut up.” He says.
"Wait-" You say.
There’s another bright spark from his horn, and you feel a huge paw press into your throat. You are pushed backwards into your seat, and it tilts askew from the force.
You struggle and choke. Your fingernails grip into the armrests. Your feet wiggle and try to find leverage.
“The choice I gave you was simple. Now choose!” He shouts.
He releases you. Your head whips forward and you inhale deeply.
He paces around the room slowly. “I have no problem cutting you open. I might learn something from dissecting your body. Maybe find out why that thing between your legs keeps finding its way into innocent mares that don’t know any better.“ He says.
You catch your breath and clear your throat. Blood dribbles down your cheek. You spit out onto the concrete floor.
“I didn’t fuck Izzy! I swear.” You say. You clear your throat again.
“Don’t lie, fuck-brain. I know what you are. Your usefulness to me is running out by the second.” He says. “So choose.”
He takes a few careful steps forward. Tears are forming in his eyes. He’s one fucked up little colt. Why is he doing this?
You scowl. You glare at him and try to ignore the claws.
He’s breathing hard.
You relax a bit in your seat. Need to de-escalate.
“Alright. Alright. You’re in control, okay? I’m not trying to fight you.” You say. You swish your fingers dismissively. “I just have one more tiny little question, and I promise-”
“What?” He says.
You look side to side nervously. Fuck.
“So... I would get a life in the countryside, right?” You say.
“Yes.” He replies curtly.
“And I would get to choose a mare?” You say.
“You would be... assigned. One. Mare.” He says, burning coldly in the darkness.
“Okay... so also you’re saying that Lyra or someone figured out how to fertilize mares eggs with human sperm. How does that work... exactly?” You ask. You grin sheepishly.
The unicorn stallion brims with rising anger. His horn sparks.
There’s a flash of tangerine sparks as a huge claw appears and drops downward in a quick motion. The claw spikes into seat of your chair and splinters the wood right next to your balls. Your body freezes and your mouth locks up.
The stallion spins around and levitates the metal chair from behind himself. He grabs it out of midair and slings it into the wall.
You cringe as the chair makes a terrible din. It scrapes against the wall and tumbles onto the floor.
“Ask me that question again, I dare you!” He says, looking at you and panting hard.
“It was just a question! It’s important that I know!” You shout.
It isn’t important. He doesn’t seem convinced. He canters up towards you angrily. He manifests a huge ghostly paw and levels it towards your restrained torso. His body tenses as his horn sparks and glows like an orange, smoldering ember.
Nothing you are doing is working. You’ve fucked up once again. You pray that you wake up back on Earth. You close your eyes.
For some reason, you have a vision of Sunny, standing in the tent, cradling her journal to her chest. She’s smiling warmly, her friends are all behind her.
“Wait!!” You shout at the top of your lungs.
He stops, raising his head up slowly. You pant heavily and drop your head.
“I don’t care if you kill me. Really, I don’t.” You say. You raise your head up slowly. “There’s nothing left for me in this world. Nothing but pain and heartbreak. The Equestria I know and its people are gone. I can’t bring it back. I can’t help you... but please.”
“Please don’t hurt them. They don’t need to be a part of this. Please don’t hurt my friends.” You plead.
“Aww... playing the sympathy card?” He says.
“I mean it. That’s my only request. Please.” You say truthfully.
“Tsk. Tsk. Hahah. Here I thought you might have been a bit more interesting.” He says. “Given that you’re a human and all.”
His horn sparks and glows. The clawed hand reappears in front of you. “Did you lose what made you special? All I see in front of me is another pathetic stallion... too scared to do what’s needed.” He says.
“Goodbye, human. It’s been... fun.” He says. He flashes a grin.
“Whatever. Just get it over with you fucking dirty dog fucker!!” You yell at him.
He pauses. Tears well up in his eyes and he grits his teeth. “D-dog fucker?” He says.
Suddenly the door to the room rumbles violently.
He turns slowly towards it as his magic fades.
The door rumbles again. Then it explodes open.
A mass of pony, quintuple strong rushes into the room. Hitch and Izzy, of course, leading the charge.
“Fuck you, asshole!” Izzy says gleefully as she bounces into the room. Her horn glows hot pink.
The unicorn stallion in front of you shimmers with a fuchsia aura. He raises up off the floor. He screams and flails his hooves wildly before he slams back down like a rag doll.
Izzy repeats the process several times as she trots up to you and the stallion. Her eyes follow him up and down as he ricochets off the floor.
Suddenly, Izzy drops him midair. Zipp comes out of nowhere and digs her back hoof directly into his gut with a flying kick. His body flops across the ground, and he crumples against the wall, still and unmoving.
“Anon!” Izzy says, her eyes light up and he rushes towards you. She leans up and jumps into your lap. She hugs you tight.
The other ponies all crowd around you. Zipp and Pipp hover in the air nearby.
“Well, it sounds like he certainly worked up quite the long rap sheet, I can say that much.” Hitch says to the royal Zephyr Heights guardsmare.
You are sitting on the curb in the misty, empty streets of downtown Zephyr Heights. Spinning blue lights from the squad car light up the brick and iron skyline. The streetlights are burning with dim yellowed pools along the road to the warehouse district.
You are holding a paper cup filled with warm dirty chai coffee. They wanted to put the trauma blanket on you, but you chose to just sit and let your bandages breathe a bit.
You sip your coffee. The bandage on your cheek stings a bit as you move your mouth.
Sunny has had a worried expression on her face since they found you in that small room at the back of some random warehouse.
The warehouse was mostly empty, save for a large collection of stolen gems, gold, paintings, and, of course... a large crystalline component fitted with brass tubing. The Magic Amplification and Resonance Emitter (M.A.R.E.). The heart of the airship.
Sunny should be elated, and she was at first. But ever since then she’s been staring with a very forlorn, concerned expression on her face.
She is laying on the blanket next to you. Zipp, Pipp and Izzy are watching a unicorn stallion in a nearly full-body cast being loaded onto a stretcher for a pegasus-pulled ambulance carriage.
You hear Hitch talking in his self-assured, authoritative tone.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it. Thank you so much, ma’am. I appreciate the opportunity for our two districts to work together.”
He gives a confident nod. The other three ponies turn and follow along with Hitch as he walks over to you. The pegasus ambulance soars above the streets of the district, sirens blaring. The squad car follows behind a moment after.
The ponies all stand around and look at you.
“How... did you all even find me?” You ask.
“Well...” Hitch says.
“It all... kind of happened really quick.” Zipp says.
“So! There I was, minding my own bizzness. Just your average mare on the street.” Izzy says, launching into the role of a detective noir protagonist.
“We heard you cut off your earpiece.” Zipp says.
“Everypony was in place. Sunny and Hitch were on on the dance floor. I was in the upstairs lounge, looking into the hallway.”
“And I was in the alley!” Izzy says.
“Yeah, right.” You say.
“Then... BOOM! We heard a big bang.” She says. “Then KA-BLAMMO!” She raises up her hooves.
“The whole darn side of the wall came off!” Izzy says.
“What?” You ask.
“It came off!” Izzy repeats.
“Well, it also crushed the carriage. Izzy was lucky to get out of the way in time...” Sunny says.
“So then what?” You ask.
“Well, there was dust everywhere, everypony was really confused and screaming! I saw a glow as your body was hovering in the air, and then poof! You and Patrice disappeared!” Izzy says.
You rub your hands on the coffee cup. “Uh... huh.”
“Oh. That’s his name, by the way. Patrice Tracker. Age 19. Local resident of Bridlewood, and soon to be its first transfer prisoner.” Hitch says proudly.
“We believe he used a teleportation spell. Short-range. I tried to follow him, but he blinked away so quickly.” Zipp says.
“But!” Izzy says, lowering her gaze and squinting at you. “Izzy knows that he left behind clues...”
“Clues?” You say.
“Yeah... sparkle. I saw the color of his sparkle when he burst through.” Izzy says.
“It was like staring right into the darkest parts of his soul. Spooky, right?” Izzy’s eyes widen.
“Right...” You say.
“So!” Izzy says. “I followed my horn!” Izzy says.
You quirk an eyebrow.
“She lead us into the warehouse district and we found a hole that had been dug into the ground. It was hidden under a dumpster.” Zipp explains.
“We rushed in through the hole, and we followed it! As we went deeper inside, we realized that this was leading somewhere. A whole network of tunnels all around the area.” Sunny says.
“Wow.” You say.
“We eventually figured out they all lead to one place. This warehouse. We heard commotion coming from the door inside, and then we heard your voice! Izzy and Hitch broke it down, and well...”
“Then you... saved me.” You say.
“Anon, I’d say you’re probably the luckiest guy I’ve ever seen. A few seconds too late, and well... let’s just say that you might have been Equestria’s first ex-human. I’m glad it didn’t come to that.” Hitch says.
You feel sore. Your neck is definitely bruised. You’ll probably have a scar on your face and arm now. Yet at the same time you feel very relieved.
“Thank you for saving me.” You say.
“No. Thank you for all your help, Anon. You’re alright in my book.” Hitch says. He nods and turns, walking down towards an intersection in the street.
“Wait, Hitch.” You say.
You turn to look at him. He cranes his neck backwards.
“Was he... actually related to me?” You ask.
“Anon...” Hitch says. “You know our records don’t go back that far. I’ve seen the unicorn’s record room at their town hall... it’s a mess.”
Hitch shakes his head.
“If you want my opinion, he was just a sad, lonely colt that got mixed up in the wrong kind of thing... he let his obsession get to his head, and he lost track of what was important in the world.” He says.
You look down. He’s probably right.
“They say that life is what you make of it. I suppose he wanted to make his life about being great and powerful, no matter what it took.” Hitch says and shrugs.
Hitch turns again. “Any way, I’ll meet you back there, everypony! Got lots of paperwork to fill out. New code by-laws to draft.” Hitch says as he walks along the cold dark sidewalk.
“Thanks Hitch!” Sunny and the rest say.
You sigh.
“Hey, Anon.” Sunny says, smiling at you.
You turn and look at Sunny. Zipp, Izzy and Pipp are all looking at you with happy, relieved looks on their faces.
“Let’s go home.” She says.
It doesn’t take long for the wounds to heal, and the construction on the airship to progress.
You looked out from your cot near the large bay windows of the control room as the ponies busied themselves. Izzy struggled a lot to fit an entire airship’s worth of material over the gigantic frame, but somehow she got it all sorted out.
Spanner hooted and hollered from the engine room when she got the magic amplifier finally installed. The ponies all gathered around as they gave it the first test start.
You watched the flash of bright blue from a spell zipping inside the amplifier. The engines of the ship hummed with a small glow for a minute before fizzling out. Lights around the top deck of the ship winked on and off, and the ballonets seemed to fluff up in appearance.
They all cheered and celebrated. You smiled.
They collected you from your bed and lead you down the stairs for the real deal.
All seven of you, Sunny, Hitch, Izzy, Zipp, Pipp and Spanner all sat in the main engine room. The ponies aligned the three crystals gifted to the races by the alicorns of old, and a shimmering iridescent light flowed forth from them. The crystals began to spin and glow in the air.
You all gazed in hope and wonder as magic started to flow like a rainbow-hued wisp of smoke through the air into the pipes and tubes of the M.A.R.E. It coalesced in the center of the device, refracting brilliant colors inside the large, spherical gem at the center.
The three pony crystals hovered back to the ground gracefully as the spell ended. The ship started to hum and whir to life, the overhead lights kicking on and engines revving to a thriving purr.
They did it.
The little ones pulled it off.
You all celebrated and hugged and had a joyous night of it.
Then Sunny decided that the next day would be the maiden voyage.
“We need to show everypony what our friendship and teamwork have accomplished. We need to inspire hope across all pony lands! Tomorrow, we sail to Maretime Bay, and after that - into the heart of Equestria!”
Sunny proudly declared it from the bow of the ship. The ponies shouted and squealed with delight. You couldn’t help but crack a grin yourself.
A lingering feeling of anticipation hangs in the air as the ship is prepared for launch the following morning.
Ponies don’t make ships with hand rails. You make do by leaning against the low outer wall near the top deck of the stern. You grip the edge of the wall, waiting for something to happen. The mooring cables to snap. The balloon's frame to collapse. The ship to suddenly lose power and fall.
Spanner Sparks, however, maintains her signature, professional composure on the ship. She is the only pony wearing still wearing a hard hat and that makes you nervous. She repeats a routine you’ve seen her do several times now. She places a level on the center of the deck. Then she leans down and stares at the small bubble inside with only one eye open for a few seconds.
“Hey, we’re still a little light on the port side, there, Hitch!” She shouts as she raises up her head.
Hitch trots up the gangplank holding another burlap sandbag in his teeth. He makes it to the port side and begins tying the sandbag to the bunch hanging just below the side wall.
Zipp has been fluttering around anxiously, checking various things on the ship. You see her lips moving like she’s rattling off a checklist in her head.
Izzy and Pipp are sitting on the opposite end of the stern from you. They seem relaxed and casual. Pipp keeps taking selfies with Izzy and looking at each one right after its taken. Izzy keeps making different poses and weird faces, eliciting some giggles from Pipp.
Hitch finishes tying the last sandbag and he walks towards Spanner. At the same time, Sunny crests the gangplank and steps onto the deck.
Spanner repeats her practiced routine. This time, she raises her head up and gives a confident nod.
“Is that it? Do we have everything?” Sunny asks excitedly.
“Well, yeah, I ‘spose so!” Spanner says and smiles at both of them.
“Aha! Yes!” Sunny says and does a little hop and spin.
Zipp swoops down and hovers.
“Now, Spanner?” She asks, still looking a bit anxious.
“Do it to it, pegasister!” Spanner says with a salute at her.
“Alright.” Zipp says with a nod. “Releasing front mooring cables!”
Zipp zooms around to the front of the deck. A few seconds later, the loose cables tied to the front of the deck hit the hangar floor with an audible clang.
The ship keeps hovering in place. It doesn’t list to the side or tilt. You realize you were holding your breath without thinking. You exhale.
“Back cables!” Zipp shouts as she flies past you in a blur. You hear two more loud clangs at the metal latches of the back mooring cables hit the concrete.
Zipp quickly swoops up and makes a graceful, weightless landing on the deck. She trots towards Spanner and gives her a nod.
Sunny looks back at the stern. “C’mon everypony!” She says with a wave of her hoof.
Pipp and Izzy excitedly stand and begin to trot up towards the front of the deck. You follow, trying to keep a sure footing as the ship underneath sways ever-so-slightly in the air.
The ponies all filter into the bridge. You duck in after them and stand in the control room. The floor-to-ceiling windows at the front look out into an expanse of beautiful, virgin sky. A thick shelf of sun-lit clouds extends into the faded blue horizon. The spires of craggy stone mountains poke through here and there.
You feel a shiver run down your spine. This is it.
Sunny walks up to the control panel. Iridescent light flows into it through glass tubes that come out of the floor. The panel is white and gold with green glowing accents on the controls.
She takes a breath, throws her braid over her shoulder, and reaches out a hoof towards the throttle.
She hesitates, then looks back at you and the others. The ponies beside you either nod or lean forward with anticipation. You feel nervous and put your hands in your pockets, yet all of you wait with baited breath.
Sunny grins. She turns. She gently pushes the throttle forward.
The quietly whirring engines of the ship raise in pitch and the ship begins to gently drift ahead.
You see sunlight begin to creep its way over the golden figurehead on the bow. Then it flows down the wooden floor of the deck. You glance to the side to see the massive open doorway of the hangar scroll past you.
“Ah!” Pipp exclaims as the airship clears the doorway and glides out into the fresh mountain air.
Izzy is bouncing with excitement. Hitch gapes and smiles as he looks all around. Spanner takes off her hard hat and and looks like she might be tearing up. Zipp can hardly contain herself, her wings splay out with fervent passion. Sunny confidently places her hoof on the ship’s wheel and tilts it to the port side.
The ship makes a slow, graceful turn. It points towards the morning sun. Sunny levels out the wheel and leans forward to check the heading.
“We’re on our way!” Sunny says. She spins and smiles wide. The ponies all cheer.
Zipp rushes out of the room and leaps off the side of the ship. She appears again as she circles around to the other side, spinning and twirling through the air with reckless abandon.
Pipp giggles and skips out to the deck, her puffy wings fluttering with every hop. Izzy rushes out at a near gallop, and Hitch follows suit.
You see Sunny step away from the control panel. “She’s all yours, Spanner!” She gestures a hoof at the controls.
Spanner walks up with a grin and immediately examines what appears to be a magic-powered altimeter. She starts fiddling with some dials to prepare the craft for its gradual descent.
“Thanks again for letting me do the honors!” Sunny says with a cheerful sway.
“Oh, don’t mention it. You ponies go enjoy!” Spanner says. “I’ll holler if anything comes up.”
Sunny walks towards the door. She glances up at you and flashes an excited grin as she walks past. She trots onto the deck, and you follow her, ducking through the doorway again.
Hitch, Izzy, Pipp and Sunny all lean out over the starboard side wall and gaze in blissful wonder. They cheer as Zipp rushes past again.
You make your way over and crouch near the wall. You look out over the Equestrian landscape through a window in the clouds. There are miniature hills, tiny trees and little fuzzy patches of flowers sprawling all around.
It’s beautiful. A little diorama of paradise. Yet it produces a powerful ping of nostalgia that hurts somewhere deep in your chest.
You glance at the ponies, their eyes still alight with splendor. For a moment, you feel a bit envious that you cannot take part in their little sightseeing excursion with nearly the same passion.
Ah, oh well. It’s good to see them happy.
You decide to hang out for a bit, just leaning against the wall for a while as the ponies get their fill of gawking at everything. They wander around the outside of the deck and lean out over the walls.
It will take a few hours to get to Bridlewood, the first stop on the one day tour. Then after that, it’s off to Maretime Bay, where Sunny is scheduled to attend a press conference in the late afternoon.
You might as well find something to do to pass the time. Maybe check out the galley?
You raise up and stretch a bit. You walk casually towards the back deck. The patchwork canopy ripples and shifts above you as the wind rushes past.
You feel something run into your leg and nudge you as you walk. You glance behind to see Sunny looking up at you with a tiny smile.
“Hey, Anon. Can I talk to you real quick?” She says.
“Uh... sure” You say. You rub the back of your head.
Sunny trots up to the door leading to the crew quarters and lower decks. She opens the door with a hoof. You grab the door and hold it open as she steps inside.
After ducking through the door, you follow her into a short hallway. A series of porthole windows lets in a generous amount of sunlight to the interior of the ship. The old, elegant wallpaper is peeling and ripped in some places. You close the door behind you, and Sunny turns around.
She has an expression of warmth and compassion on her face. Something about her sea-green eyes is very striking.
“Hey... sorry to pull you away from everypony else.” She says. “I just I wanted to tell you that... I’m really glad you’re here.”
Huh. You feel a twinge of elation.
“Ever since you came back to us, you’ve been an amazing friend. You’ve helped us so much with all you’ve done. And, well... I just feel like we should stick together, you know?” She says and smiles awkwardly.
“Uh... well...” You say.
You don’t really know what else to say. You expected her to ask you something about the ancient past, or to explain something you’d need to do. You didn’t think she’d... praise you.
You rub your arm. “Um... thank you, Sunny.” You say. You feel incredibly awkward.
Suddenly, you see a mass of lavender purple and cobalt blue appears in the porthole window just behind Sunny. Izzy presses her face to the window, her eyes bulging and her mouth hanging open.
You nervously glance at the window, then back to Sunny.
“Listen. If you ever need me... I’ll be by your side, okay? That’s my promise to you, hoof to heart.” Sunny says.
She leans back and places a hoof on her chest. You glance at Izzy, who is now fogging the glass with her breath. Ah, screw it. It’s just a friendship thing. You should be glad.
You place a hand over your own heart “I promise to do the same.” You say. You give her a small, genuine smile. “Uh... hand to heart.”
She smiles wider and stands up straight. “Alright! Great!” She says, “I’ll leave you alone now, Anon.”
She smirks and walks past you. “But be warned. I wanna see you on the deck when we get to Bridlewood!”
She giggles cutely as she opens the door and steps out. The metal door slowly closes by itself when she leaves.
You look back at the window. Izzy is gone. You sigh a breath of relief, but-
WHAM. The door slams open. Izzy’s hoof is sticking through.
“Ooh~!” She says as she trots into the hall. “What was that about~?”
You shake your head and cross your arms. “Izzy... please.” You say.
She suddenly rears up on two hooves, almost reaching your eye level. She leans a hoof against the wall and stands. She has a smug expression and a twinkle in her eye.
“Don’t.” You say curtly.
“Don’t what? Huh?” Izzy says, bobbing her head around. She pokes your chest with a hoof.
You purse your mouth and lift your chin. You look down at her over your nose. She crosses her forelegs and imitates your pose. A lingering smile creeps across her face.
“Don’t-”
“So you gonna fuck her or what?” She says.
“Ugh...” You groan, uncrossing your arms and slouching.
Izzy bursts out laughing. She holds her belly and leans back against the wall.
You turn away and try to ignore her, but you can’t help but smile a bit. She slides down the wall as she starts to calm down.
“You shouldn’t say ‘fuck’ Izzy... it’s weird.” You say.
“Well why not? You say it all the time! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Izzy says.
You start to walk down the hall, and you hear her hoofsteps follow close behind.
“Yeah, but I’m not a pony. It sounds unbecoming of a pony to swear.” You say.
“What? Ponies be coming? That’s really lewd, Anon~...” Izzy teases.
You involuntarily snort. You let out a long, frustrated groan. Izzy giggles at this. Something tells you she won’t drop this topic for a while.
You turn the corner and continue down the hall to the back stairwell. Yet it’s strange. Something about the playful ribbing feels sort of... comforting. Like she’s telling you not to worry about it in her own Izzy way.
“If I make you a sandwich will you shut up?” You ask her.
“Depends! If I show you an orange doughnut will you eat it?” She says with a snort and a giggle.
The visit to Bridlewood was quite brief. There was nowhere to land inside the dense forest canopy, so mostly you all just waved and shouted to the unicorns below as you hovered past.
Sunny was right. They were inspired from seeing the huge vessel and the ponies inside. Yet it was nothing compared to the next stop.
The press conference started almost immediately after the ship touched down near the big open field by Sunny’s lighthouse. They had a stage and a microphone set up and everything. It all went pretty smoothly. The ponies handled all the talking, and all you had to do was stand, wave and look presentable.
Sunny looked incredibly energized talking up at the podium. Her passion for what she believed in had started to spring forth into every movement of her hooves, and every word she uttered.
The crowd was buzzing with reporters and the flash of cameras. It was the largest spectacle that had come to the sleepy seaside town in months.
After things started to wrap up and the crowds had wandered away, evening descended over the town. The neat rows of buildings by the coast looked calm and serene in the golden-orange light.
Sunny had insisted that you try the smoothies from the local smoothie cart in town after the conference. She said it had to be the very first thing you tried.
You obliged her.
The other ponies worked to pilot the airship towards the lighthouse to dock it by the cliff as you and Sunny walked right in to Maretime Bay proper.
Sunny seemed so elated to get to the front of the line. You ordered the largest size. Mango and pineapple. It was freshly made, tangy and quite delicious.
The ponies of the town left you both alone for the most part. A few asked for pictures, both from you and Sunny, but they didn’t linger very long.
You sat on the bench overlooking the small stone railing and out into the bay. Long shadows of buildings rise along the cobblestone streets around you as the sun dips further below the horizon.
Sunny is next to you. She seems a bit worn out from the conference, but she’s relaxed and pleasantly comfortable on the bench. You both already finished the smoothies.
In the distance, the airship hovers by the imposing rock cliff face by the gently glowing lighthouse. Its powerful arcane engines hum with shifting iridescent light beneath the stern. The patchwork balloon, mostly consisting of blues and pinks, bobs gently and soaks in the last drops of evening sun.
The sound of waves lapping against the rocks below comes in rushes with the wind. Sunny shifts up in her seat.
“Hey Anon.” she says.
You look at her. Her orange coat is glowing in the evening light.
“What did he want from you any way? That stallion, Patrice.” She asks.
It’s only been a few days... but feels like history already. You remember Patrice was charged with several felonies for theft, destruction of property, foalnapping, attempted murder and illegally housing a class 4 mythological creature.
The negotiations for his transfer to Bridlewood were still underway. The pegasus guards had him in a maximum security cell under constant watch. In the mugshot you saw, he was wearing a shiny new magic suppression ring on his horn.
“Well...” You say.
“He told me that he wanted to bring back the glory days of Equestria. He wanted me to help him do it. Yet what he had in mind sounded more like the rule of King Sombra than Princess Celestia. He wanted fame, power, mares... you know. The usual things for a young stallion.”
“Hm...” Sunny says. She turns to look out over the bay.
The sun disappears below the horizon. The sky, with its deep violets and blues, hangs suspended in a transitory state of dusk. The stars begin to appear in the sky.
“What do... you want, Anonymous?” Sunny asks.
She turns to look at you.
You look down and scratch your head.
“Me...?” You say.
You honestly hadn’t thought about it. Not since the forest.
You glance at the mighty aircraft by the lighthouse, docked and waiting. You think of the ponies inside. You think of their kind hearts and warm smiles.
You glance at Sunny. She is studying you with her large, turquoise eyes.
“I um...” You say. “I suppose... I don’t know any more.”
Sunny lets out a short sigh. She smiles and shakes her head.
“I had a feeling you’d say that.” She says.
Suddenly, she looks at you with a mixture of concern and compassion.
“I... have something to give you.” She says.
“Hm?” You say. You sit up in your seat.
Sunny reaches into her pack and takes out an old, yellowed piece of paper that’s folded over. It looks like a letter.
“Hitch found this when we were looking through the documents in the warehouse.” Sunny says.
“I’m sorry for keeping it from you until now... but, I felt like you needed some time to process everything...”
“What? Why?” You ask.
Sunny flips over the letter slowly. There’s a wax seal on it. Mint green with a small harp symbol pressed into it.
You feel your heart skip a beat.
You reach out and gently take the letter. It’s long since been unsealed, and the wax is cracked and hard from age.
Sunny looks hesitant as she watches you take the letter. She lowers her hoof without saying a word.
You hold the letter in your hands, staring at the symbol. The mark you know all too well. This letter carries so much weight now. Both sentimentally and historically. The words inside are now priceless artifacts from a lost, mythological age. Should you even read it?
No... You need to.
Very carefully, you unfold the parchment. Your heart thumps loudly in your ears.
Anon,
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to write this letter, or how many times I’ve torn it up and thrown it away. I was never as good at words as you were. You know that. It is very, very difficult for me to even write anything now. Even if I do write this letter, I don’t think I will be able to send it to you.
When you read this please don’t be angry with me.
I know now that what we had was poisonous to us both. In a way I knew it from the start, but I didn’t care. You always blamed yourself all the time, for every little thing. That hurt me and made me so mad inside. I wasn’t so helpless. I could have stopped. I did it to myself just as much as you did it to me.
I don’t care about it any more. I don’t think about the fake promises or the crushed dreams or the other mares. I don’t think about being human. You probably don’t believe me but it is true. I am trying to put it all behind me so I can live a normal life again. And I really really want the same for you.
Anon. I realize now that you need someone that will love you for who you are and not what you are. I was selfish because I kept you from that. I hope that you can forgive me.
But at the very least, please stop blaming yourself, Anonymous. I ask this for your sake, and for the sake of what we had. What happened is in the past now. It is hard but we need to let it go. We need to even forget the good times we had if they hurt us too much. I know you don’t want to do that and I don’t either, but I am going to really try from now on.
If you can’t forget me, even after all these years, then I want you to at least remember one thing.
You made me happy, Anon. You gave this mare everything she wanted, and more.
Wherever you are, please try to find peace. I love you and I always will.
Truthfully, Lyra Heartstrings
You force your hand to stop trembling and you put down the letter.
Sunny sits silently, waiting for you to say something.
Your eyes are burning. The emotions inside are a churning sea of many distinct feelings all rushing and bleeding into each other. The memories long past, once content to lay at the bottom of the ocean, are burning and boiling at the surface with vivid intensity. You can do nothing but let them flow along with the tears.
For a long while you sit there, looking out into the bay.
The twilight has faded when you weren’t looking. Now there is nothing but a black, star-filled sky.
“Anon...” Sunny says, finally breaking the silence.
You remain motionless in your seat, still clutching the letter. A thin breeze runs over the sea wall, and the constant crash of waves is ever-present below.
“After all... that you’ve been through. And what you just read...” Sunny says.
“I can’t image what you’re feeling right now...”
You lift your head up.
“Please, just... don’t run off on me again.” She says very quietly.
You slowly fold up the letter and tuck it into the shirt pocket of your suit.
“Sunny. I’m very tired.” You say.
She looks down at the stone street.
You shift forward a bit and sigh. “But I think I’m even more tired of running.” You say.
“For nine years, I let myself believe that everything I experienced here in Equestria was just... one long, fucked-up dream. It didn’t feel real. It couldn’t feel real. I felt like if I acknowledged what happened, or what any of it meant to me... I would risk bringing it all back. I would have to face a world I hated again. So I didn’t.”
You shake your head slowly.
“But now that I’m back... everyone I know is dead. Everyone and everything is telling me to just let go of the past. To move on. And now I realize it.” You say.
“I realize that I never did let go. All those years on Earth, I was stuck right here, in my mind.” You say.
“I don’t hate this world. I love Equestria. I love ponies. I love being here. To think that I’m supposed to let that go... that’s what I hate. That’s what I can’t fucking stand...”
You slowly stand up out of your seat. You dust off your sleeves and gesture casually.
“Ever since I’ve got here I’ve just been waiting for the inevitable to happen. For something from the past to come up and hurt me.”
You shrug and slip your hands into your pockets.
“And well, it now its happened. It wasn’t trying to survive in the forest on my own, and it wasn’t a psychopathic unicorn trying to kill me. It was this letter.” You say.
Sunny looks up at you. You notice the silent plea in her eyes. She knows you’re teetering on the edge again.
“And you know what I realize?” You say.
“I just don’t care any more. I don’t care about how much it hurts me. It’s going to keep happening, and honestly... that’s fine.”
“I can’t run away from it. There’s no point. I have to go with you. But... it’s not a choice, Sunny.” You say.
You clear your throat and look down.
“I’m coming with you because... I need to understand something. I need to know what it means for me to be here. Even if there’s no answer... I need to try.”
Sunny can’t meet your gaze any more. Tears form in her eyes.
“Whatever truth that may be, it will either destroy me, or I’ll find my peace.” You say.
“... Not really much of a difference when you think about it, huh?”
You turn towards Sunny and wait for her to say something. Anything.
Yet there’s nothing more to be said.
With a casual turn of your heel, you take a step away from the bench. You start to walk away, heading along the road that skirts along the sea, a slow bend that curves towards the lighthouse and the airship in the distance.
You knew what would happen if you showed him that letter, but you did it any way.
It feels so stupid now. Were you supposed to give him more time? Were you supposed to just forget about it?
No. No that’s not it. It’s... almost like he wants to feel this way. He’s been doing it from the very start.
Ever since he woke up he’s been nothing but difficult and mopey. You know all humans aren’t like that. That doesn’t make sense. There has to be humans with different personalities, just like ponies. So why is he like this? Why?
You shake your head and snort. You wipe your eyes.
Even leaving him alone with Izzy for three days didn’t help...
You bite your lip as you remember your friends are waiting for you. You look up at your airship. You feel that gentle stir of pride as you remember all the work and hardship you and your friends endured to bring it to life. And now it’s right there! Just floating right by the lighthouse.
You never thought you’d see something that amazing in your life. Never thought you’d accomplish this... but you have!
And the person that helped make it all happen, who stuck his neck out for you and faced his greatest fears, is now still just depressed and mopey as the day you found him.
Why?
Doesn’t he care?
You hit the bench with your hoof.
You want to just slap him and make him look. Look! You’re helping everypony in the world! We’re making it a better place! Is that not meaningful? Isn’t that something to want?
You clench your eyes and grit your teeth. You want to scream! Your lungs are full of air that wants to be shouted out loud.
But instead you just... gradually calm down.
You slip off the bench and onto your hooves. You turn your ears to the calm breeze floating out from the bay. The familiar scent of brine stings your nostrils.
You begin to walk.
The streets are empty now. It’s very quiet and still. Everypony has gone back to their homes. Your hoofsteps echo against the brick buildings all around. For once your home town feels... lonely.
Curse you, Anonymous! His sadness is infecting your brain! You should be so proud right now. Today was an amazing day!
All those ponies were there, taking pictures. Pictures you’ll see in the newspaper tomorrow. We all made history! We’re going to explore the world!
And yet, you’re feeling depressed. Ugh. Just like him.
You stop walking. You stomp your hoof.
No.
You take a deep breath. You raise your head up and throw your braided mane over your shoulder.
You start galloping forward.
You aren’t going to take this away from me, Anon. Not this time. You know deep down in his heart he yearns for friendship. True friendship. Just like you. He’s just a skeptic. A realist. He needs to see it for himself.
Who better to do that than you? Huh?
Your head bobs and your hooves push harder and faster. Watch out Anon! You can’t run from your past, and you can’t run from-
“Hey Sunny.” You hear a stallion voice say.
Your eyes go wide and you skid to a stop. Your hooves scrape against the pavement.
You whip your head around to see a human sitting on a bench, holding a bag of potato chips.
He’s picking them out with his fingers and eating them one by one.
You feel a hot wave of rage. You grit your teeth and yell.
“Anon!”
You trot up to him, glowering at him hard.
He looks at you, but doesn’t seem to react. He eats another potato chip.
You smack the bag out of his hand with a hoof.
“Hey-” He says.
“What are you doing?!” You shout.
He shrugs slowly. “... Eating chips?” He says.
“No!” You scream.
You jump on him. You pin his shoulders back to the bench and you raise your head above his.
“First you give me this big long speech about how you’re so sad and that you’ll never be happy in this world and that all that ever happens is you getting hurt again and again. Then you just walk off and leave. Now I find you and... you’re just sitting here eating chips?! What is wrong with you?!” You shout.
You breathe deep and hard. Your face feels hot. He is shrinking his head back.
“... I was hungry?” He says.
“Gh!!” You fume, gritting your teeth.
No. No. He’s doing it again! Think, Sunny, think...
You sigh. Your face trembles a bit, but the anger subsides.
You look at him for a moment, held there by your hooves. He looks so powerless and afraid now that you’re actually standing above him. Maybe he just needs some more assurance.
You lean forward towards him. You look at him directly in his small, beady eyes.
“Anon. You have to stop doing this. It’s... it’s not healthy.” You say.
He looks sad. He glances down.
You shake him with your hooves so he looks at you.
“Hey. I’m not done. This world... I know you don’t find it all bad. You can’t lie to me, Anon.” You say.
You lean back from him. You realize that you’re sitting in his lap, your hind legs straddling him. To the wrong pony this would look kind of weird. But no. Forget it.
You sit up and fold in your front hooves.
“Why can’t you just try to appreciate what you have right now instead of... always looking at the negatives?” You say.
“I uh...” He says.
He looks around. He’s stalling. Trying to find an excuse, probably.
It’s getting hard to balance like this. You put a hoof on his chest.
To your surprise, he reaches up and touches it.
You feel your heart skip a beat. He slowly grabs your other hoof too. His fingers are warm and soft. He helps you balance in the air.
“I’m afraid, Sunny...” He says. “That’s why.”
What is this feeling you’re having right now? There’s something fluttering in your chest. It feels weird, but... you don’t want him to let go.
“What are you afraid of?” You ask.
You notice your breaths are coming faster. Your tail twitches. You shove your feelings down and keep a straight face.
He takes a deep breath and looks at you for a moment.
“Hurting someone.” He says.
What?
“Like... who?” You say.
He looks very conflicted.
“Someone that I love.” He says.
You swallow.
He takes your hoof off his chest. He holds both hooves in his hands now. There’s a storm of emotions inside you. That fluttering is building up to a roar.
“Sunny... I-” He says.
Oh, for the love of sunshine.
You lean forward and kiss him.
You don’t mean for it to happen. It just does.
You shove your muzzle right in his face and lock lips. Your fur brushes smooth skin. His lips are salty and a bit sweet. The breath from his little nose is hot against the corner of your mouth. His hands squeeze your hooves softly.
You break from the kiss. Your head is woozy and you feel very light-headed. He is staring at you in shock.
Horseapples! This is bad. He’s going to get even more sad now. You just-
Wait. He’s... smiling?
Now he’s touching your cheek. His fingers are running along your face. Why can’t you move? You’re smiling too? You feel so confused... but how your heart soars!
Anonymous rubs your neck gently, right below your mane. Then he pulls you forward and hugs you very close to his chest.
You just... let him.
You curl up your hooves and lean your head against his shoulder. His long arms are supporting your back. You feel like you are enclosed inside him. Encapsulated. Why... why does it feel so good?
You want to say something... you open your mouth a bit, but... then you don’t. You don’t need to say a thing. His head is leaning against yours now. His face is pressing into your mane.
You let him hug you. You feel his warmth. You feel the long, drawn-out sadness deep inside him. And inside that sadness you see a little human child. Stranded and alone. You feel like you want to pick him up, put him on your back, and carry him home.
Oh Anon... so that’s where you were hiding all this time.
You say nothing as his hands slowly loosen around you.
Still you say nothing as you lean back from the hug.
Your eyes meet.
You nod at him. He slowly nods back.
You turn and slip down from the bench. Your hooves find solid ground.
He rises up. He puts his hands inside his pockets.
Together you walk back to the lighthouse to greet your friends.
Tomorrow will be a big, brave new day.
No matter what happens, you will face it. Together.
Consider this letter my final token of good faith to you. I hope its contents will help you put your mind at ease from your long slumber.
Please understand, as I have said before: there was no way for us to remove your physical body from this world entirely without also destroying your body the other end. I knew this would mean your body in this universe would inevitably be discovered and exhumed by future generations.
There is no way to prevent this. We can, however, prevent your knowledge from falling into the wrong hooves, claws or other appendages.
If you are awake now, it is due to the magic seal I placed on your crystal sarcophagus. The seal is keyed specifically to the totality of my magical signature. If a powerful spell is performed with the grace of true friendship, it will trigger the seal and reverse the petrification process.
Of course, this will have an unintended side effect. You will most likely be thrust into a new world that is completely different than the Equestria you left behind.
I beg you Anonymous, do not squander this opportunity. You should be thankful.
When you first came upon our world, I wanted to help you. Now I realize you are someone who does not want to be helped. In truth, you were the greatest friendship challenge I faced in life, and ultimately, you were my greatest failure.
I tried very hard to solve your issues, Anonymous. These efforts were neither appreciated nor reciprocated by you. Time and time again, you dismissed your friends, abandoned those you cared for, and filled your life with hedonistic debauchery and sex.
I could not help you. I can now only hope that somehow, somewhere in the future you will find some creature who can.
Perhaps Equestria will find a way to help humans adapt better. Or perhaps we will come to better understanding your species and its needs. Until then, Anonymous, you still only have yourself to blame.
Also. If I am still alive when you wake up, do not try to find me.
