I Stick With Real Things
“Did you hear? There’s two new wagons in the town square today!”
“Ooh, performers you think? Or maybe travelling salesponies!”
“I hope it’s someone good! Last month was just the worst…”
“Ugh! ‘Regi-Mold and the Singing Fungi’ - maybe he’ll relocate to somewhere really nice; like the griffon realms!”
The trio of earth ponies tittered over the rampion, taking little notice of Maud as she slowly worked her way around the market, standing opposite to them as she examined some potatoes. She took little notice of their chatter as focused as she was on her shopping list; potatoes, carrots, string beans, and… something. She dug in her satchel as she turned to leave, scrolling through her list. She had almost made it to the missing ingredient before another pony crashed into her, sending them both sprawling into the dirt.
“Oof! Watch it!” Barked the blue unicorn as she tumbled to the ground, then rapidly pulled herself to her feet, dusting off her spangled hat and cape. “I ought to turn you into a toad - Maud!”
Maud Pie lifted her brows, considering the unicorn. “Hello, The Great And Powerful Trixie.”
“Just - Just Trixie’s fine.” Trixie mumbled, clearly uncomfortable. She eyed Maud for a moment, patting her hat clean long after all of the dirt had been removed. “How, uh, how are you?”
“Fine.” Maud replied flatly.
A long silence stretched between them.
“Well, uh, I’m fine, too.” Trixie supplied, still patting her hat.
“Good. I think your hat is clean.” Maud offered, and Trixie jerked her hoof away.
“Uh, thank you.” Trixie mumbled again, clearly uncomfortable, and her eyes darted to the rampion stand as she replaced her hat on her head. “Listen, Trixie - Trixie’s been on the road for awhile, but Trix - I’ve been trying to, uh, do better. By - other ponies.”
“Okay.” Maud replied, as flat as ever.
“I haven’t been in Ponyville for a - a whole year, almost, but Starlight Glimmer says I need to, uh,” and here Trixie rolled her eyes a little, “‘work on my interpersonal skills’, which means like - fixing the mistakes I’ve made, righting my wrongs. And making amends for the ‘unfriendly’ things I’ve done. I’ve been working on a list, and - hoo, boy, it’s pretty long. But - you’re on there, so - just give me a moment.”
Maud stood by, as stoic and silent as ever, as Trixie dug into the pocket of her cloak, producing a little notebook which was clearly well-worn and heavily used. She paged through it for a few silent seconds before she tapped her hoof on a page.
“It looks like - I don’t know if you recall this, but last year, in the spring, when you and Mudbriar broke up, I … well, I said something to the effect of ‘I’m glad he’s gone,’ which -”
“‘That guy was a total stick in the mud, if you don’t mind Trixie saying so.’”
Trixie’s brows shot up as Maud recited her words back to her, and it transported Trixie back in time, to an off-the-cuff comment she’d made in a market very similar to this one. No; it was in Pinkie Pie’s bakery. She’d stopped in for some pastries, loading up before she left for her latest tour around Equestria, and she’d happened to overhear Maud Pie updating Pinkie Pie on her life.
“‘You don’t need a dud like him dragging you down; Trixie won’t pretend you aren’t a bit of a stick in the mud yourself, but compared to that loser, you’re a pageant pony. Mudbriar isn’t worthy to decorate the bottom of your hoof, because he is a turd on the road of life, and turds like him need to get squished flat. He is pedantic, annoying, condescending, obnoxious, unlikeable, and smells funny to boot, and Trixie would tell him that to his face if he stood here today.’” Maud finished the quote, then blinked at Trixie, slowly, before she spoke again. “Something like that, I think.”
“That - uh, yes. That was…” Trixie took a deep breath, trying to steady herself under Maud’s piercing gaze. “At the time, Trixie was trying to bond with you in a sisterly-solidarity sort of way, but now Trixie sees that perhaps you needed more … kindness. And fewer analogies to turds. And perhaps not comparing you to a stick in the mud while trying to offer solace on a recent breakup.”
Maud blinked, then gave a small nod.
“So, in that vein, Trixie would like to offer you her sincerest apologies, and - if it will help - two tickets to my show tonight?” Trixie offered, and perhaps for the first time that Maud had ever witnessed, Trixie looked nervous as she held out two tickets for Maud, held aloft in the soft pink glow of her magic. “Trixie is trying to do better, and she promises to not speak in that manner to you again?”
Maud considered her for a moment, then reached out, taking the tickets with her teeth, and tucked them into her satchel. “Thank you, Trixie. That was a very … thorough apology. I accept it.”
Trixie sagged a little. “Thank you. Well, Trixie should finish getting her supplies. I have to allow extra time now, in case I see more ponies I need to apologize to. So - see you at the show!”
“See you.” Maud replied, and with a little nod, she returned to her shopping, hunting down the last ingredients - radishes.
“Hello, good shopkeep! I am here to buy your finest lenti- oh no. Trixie remembers you.” Behind her, Maud could hear Trixie starting up the routine all over again. “I haven’t been in Ponyville for almost a year now, so I don’t know if you recall our last meeting…”
[***]
Maud made her way to the town square about an hour before sunset, when the show was scheduled to start. She could recognize Trixie’s familiar wagon from a distance, but she didn’t recognize the warm pink wagon that stood next to it, nor the pony who stood on the stage currently, playing a light, friendly tune on a piano. The sign in front of the stage said “THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE! AND! THE MAGICAL AND MUSICAL PSYCHIC BURBLESSA!”
Burblessa didn’t sound like much of a stage name, Maud thought, but she joined the crowd all the same, listening to her warming up on the keys.
“Welcome, welcome! Everyone, come a little closer - I won’t bite!” Burblessa laughed, and her voice was light, tinkling, and even just listening to her speak put Maud a little bit more at ease. The pink unicorn rose from her seat at the piano, and tossed her rosy-red mane behind her shoulder. “My name is Burblessa, and I will be your opening act tonight! Soon, The Great And Powerful Trixie will amaze you with her feats of magic! But first, I will amaze you with my feats of mind-reading!”
A few ponies oohed in the audience appreciatively.
“And musical talent!” The unicorn sat down, and played an impressive arpeggio, her hooves flying over the keys skillfully. “You see,” she spoke as she began playing, “as a young filly I learned to play the piano, but I soon found that I had a talent for hearing the songs that others hear inside their own heads! Do you recognize this tune?”
The pink pony played for a few more moments, and a few ponies in the audience muttered to each other.
“This is a song I hear wandering around the crowd’s thoughts! Surely, someone can tell me what song this is?”
A pony near the front of the crowd lifted his head, and called. “Podocarpus’ Lament?”
“Great! Is that your tune?” The pink unicorn grinned at him, and flashed him a wink. “Just lost your coltfriend, have you? That’s a sad one! Ooh, let’s try something a little more cheerful! How about - you! Pick a song, any song! Just think about it!” She gestured to a young filly who sat on her father’s shoulders, and the piano fell silent for a moment before she lifted her hooves once more, and began playing a cheerful little ditty.
“That’s the song the ice cream wagon plays!” The filly laughed, and kicked her feet over her father’s shoulders as the crowd made impressed sounds.
“Good choice, that’s a happy song for certain!” Burblessa laughed in reply, and let the piano go a little quieter, thrumming out a few random, but lovely chords. “Hmm, let’s see if we can find some more songs, hmm? Just let your thoughts wander - sometimes, I find that the best and most surprising songs pop out when we aren’t even thinking about them. Ready? Here we go!”
And away she went, playing songs merrily on her piano, singing the tune when she knew it well enough. She had a lovely voice, high and twinkling, and the crowd soon swayed along with her. She brought them almost to tears with her rendition of “Weeping Willow Don’t Cry For Me”, and had them singing along with every chorus of “Easy-Peasy, Just Go Home!,” a popular drinking song from decades before. She’d sing choruses, or entire pieces; once she sang the song all over again, after the crowd cheered loud enough for it.
“Alright, let’s see, who’s got another song for me to sing?” Burblessa called warmly, her eyes scanning the crowd as her horn glowed. She turned when the door to Trixie’s wagon opened, revealing the magician within. “Am I running over time?” Burblessa asked coyly, but Trixie waved her off.
“No, Trixie just wanted to see the last few numbers!” Trixie grinned, and sat on the steps of her wagon. “Don’t let Trixie stop you.”
“Very well! Perhaps you will pick a number for us!” Burblessa laughed again, that warm, tinkling sound, and brushed her hooves over the piano in a light scale, waiting for a song to come to her. She didn’t have to wait long, and her brows lifted sharply as she registered the tune. “Ooh, this is a good one - very popular in the last year or two, I’m surprised we haven’t heard it yet tonight. Alright, everyone ready? Maybe this is your tune.” She lifted her hooves from the piano, waiting, then brought them down sharply in two chords, and paused. A moment later, another two chords. On the third repetition, she began to sing.
I stick with real things
Usually facts and figures
When information's in its place
I minimize the guessing game
Guess what? (What?)
I don't like guessing games
Or when I feel things
Before I know the feelings
How am I supposed to operate
If I'm just tossed around by fate?
Like on an unexpected date?
Maud’s blood ran cold. Her eyes remained locked on Burblessa as she continued playing and singing, emoting deeply, and did her best to think of another song, any other song. Old McDonald, Happy Birthday, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star; anything. But Burblessa kept singing.
With a stranger who might talk too fast
Or ask me questions about myself
Before I've decided that
She can ask me questions about myself
She might sit too close
Or call the waiter by his first name
Or eat Oreos
But eat the cookie before the cream
A few ponies in the audience were singing along now, recognizing the tune from a musical that had been wildly popular in Manehattan for several triumphant seasons now, whose tunes had slowly trickled out into the larger popular culture. But Maud stood stock still, her muscles locked in place, starting to tremble a bit from the effort. In the corner of her vision, she could see Trixie rising from where she sat on the steps of her wagon, looking to Burblessa. No, not to her - past her. Into the crowd.
But what scares me the most
What scares me the most
Is what if when she sees me, what if she doesn't like it?
What if she runs the other way and I can't hide from it? (Ah)
What happens then? (Ah)
Everyone else is singing; someone else could have thought of that song, Maud reassured herself as a bead of sweat rolled down her temple.
Trixie was stepping away from her wagon now.
But what if when she knows me, she's only disappointed?
What if I give myself away, to only get it given back? (Ah)
I couldn't live with that (how do you live with that?)
So, I'm just fine, inside my rock-shaped mind
This way I get the best view
So that when she sees me, I want her to
“Maud?” Trixie called.
Maud was already running.