Great Minds Think Alike
The doors to the chapel crashed open to reveal a disheveled Twilight Sparkle. Dust and sweat covered her coat and her breath came in heaving gasps. “Stop!” she yelled, the word reverberating around the room.
The guests had turned to look in surprise when the ornate doors burst open, but they gasped in horror at the objection, their exclamations turning to angry rumblings when the bride’s choked sobs reached them from the altar. “Why does she want to ruin my special day?!”
“Because,” came a second voice, and Twilight stepped aside to reveal an equally bedraggled Cadence, “It’s not your special day. It’s mine.”
Confusion swept the crowd as they looked between the two identical princesses. Shining Armor especially looked confused, his eyes glancing back and forth between his bride and her disheveled double. The green glint in his eyes intensified a little at the strange scene. “... what?” he muttered, but the Cadence at the altar ignored him. All of her focus was centered on the one in the doorway.
“You’re still too late.” the imposter preened, casually circling the soon to be prince like a shark.
“I-I don’t understand.” Applejack said as she and the rest of the bridesmaids began backing away from the imposter. “How can there be two of ‘em?”
“She’s a changeling,” Cadence said, horn low as she slowly advanced on her enemy, “She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding on love for them.”
The imposter laughed. “Right you are, Princess.” Green flames danced across her skin as her facade fell away to reveal a black carapace and twisted horn. Her legs breathing easily once again as the holes in them were finally uncovered. She giggled internally at the sound of Princess Celestia’s socked gasp.
“... what?”
The second exclamation irked her. Even after so long Captain Shining Armor resisted her total control despite the seemingly unending love energy burning through her veins. With a small effort of will she reinforced the geas she had cast on the captain even as she dismissed him.
“As queen of the changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects,” the emotional vampire began, tasting the stirrings of fear in the room, “Equestria has more love than any place I’ve ever encountered. My fellow changelings will be able to devour so much--”
CRASH!
Now it was the changeling’s turn to be surprised. Once again the entire crowd turned towards the interruption only to try and scramble away as shards of glass and the curled form of a pony rained down among them. The lump of pony crashed into them like a bowling ball, knocking them over like so many pins to screams of ‘iyee’ and ‘my corsage’!
From the mess of limbs rolled a pegasus in gold armor, a large blue star emblazoned on his breastplate. He was singed, cut, and covered in soot, his breath coming in coughing gasps.
“Stop!” he yelled, wings splaying to arrest his momentum. “Changeling! Attack! They’ve impersonated--”
Then he froze suddenly, eyes focused on the groups standing before the altar. Twilight, Princess Cadance, Celestia, Shining Armor, Applejack, and the changeling still wearing the remains of a wedding dress stared at the silent newcomer. His mouth opened, paused, then closed as if he thought better of it. Instead he slowly backed into the twisted pile of limbs, his eyes never leaving the strange scene. With one free hoof he reached into the pile of bodies to poke at one of them.
A figure rose from the mess. The equally battered, bruised, and singed form of Captain Shining Armor disentangled himself from the press of bodies. He surveyed the assembled ponies and looked on with confusion mirrored by his double on the pulpit.
“... what?”
Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, was not having a good day. Her deviously planned wedding had been foiled, the invasion force scattered, and a competing hive had intruded on her operations. To top it all off the king of that same hive was barely a hooflengh away, the two of them caught in the same expanding pink bubble of pony magic that had launched them from the capital.
They glared at each other. Despite the crushing acceleration that pressed them against the field they uselessly tried to scream, to speak, to hurl insults, to be heard at all above the roaring love spell that was rather firmly ejecting them from the pony kingdom.
Finally, the pressure relented and the two changelings found themselves tumbling through the air towards a dusty town below. A town Chrysalis recognized.
It was Trough Water; the last pony town before the plains consigned the land to little more than crags and dust. It was little more than a speck on the map but given her trajectory and the cramp in her wings she’d be lucky to avoid ending up as a pancake on the saloon wall. Despite this, Chrysalis smiled. Perhaps today won’t be a total loss, she thought, I can’t fill my larder, but maybe I can at least taste sweet revenge. And deal with an upstart twerp!
She turned slightly, angled her body and one useful wing to slide past a roof and tumble along the main street. Her counterpart fared better, managing to buzz his insectoid wings enough to turn his crash landing into a skid that left him on his hooves. The disdainful brat even managed to tsk disdainfully at her as he casually brushed dust from his shoulder.
This would not stand!
“Insolent whelp!” she roared, “You have the gall to stand before me, Me?!, after your calamitous stunt cost me a city. Nay, a kingdom!”
“My stunt?” he asked, his nose so high in the air as he glared at her he could practically smell the clouds, “You’re the oaf who wandered into my meticulous operation for a quick bite. Weeks of planning, of profiling, of tactical replacements washed down the drain by a petulant hussy who can’t manage to hold a disguise well enough to fool a single unicorn! I should have your wings plucked for attempting to reach so far above your station.”
Indignation drew her up to her full height. The dust and dirt of her fall did little to dim her lustrous carapace as she stood in all her acetic glory. Her wings pulsed with consumed love energy, lending a sickly green glow to her regal form. “You would dream to discipline a Queen? Who do you think you are?”
By this time the commotion had drawn the attention of every pony in the two-bit town. Two bug ponies arguing in the street was more excitement than they likely saw in a year and jaws were hanging open as the townsfolk gaped at their unexpected ‘guests’.
Good, Chrysalis thought, come closer. All the better for the surprise.
“Who am I?” asked the other, “You do not recognize King Tegmine? Ruler of the southern hives and leader of the Kashmare campaign? And yet you call yourself a Queen. Truly you are nothing but an up-stuck drone with delusions of grandeur. You lack even the requisite cadre to pretend at a throne.”
She smiled at that, a many fanged sneer that left no question as to her intentions. “Oh, I never travel without an entourage. What do you take me for, a nymph too stupid to leave the nest?” Her hoof rose to her breast as she called out in a sing-song tone. “Oh, children~~!”
The town lit up as a full half of the attending crowd revealed themselves to be changelings drones in disguise. Stallions, mares, and even a buffalo burned in green flames before black chitin hooves stepped forth with predatory grace. The remaining ponies gasped in surprise. Some stepped back in horror, others begged their ‘family’ to come back to them, but the rest simply cowered on the ground in fear. It was, overall, a pleasing display.
“It’s a pity, my king, that you lack a similar retinue. Now bow before Chrysalis, your new Queen.”
His unflappable countenance barely wavered at the reveal.
“Oh, dear me. You actually have a hive to call your own, as inadequate as it is? Color me surprised! I almost expected you to be the queen of ants with how much dirt you wear.”
“Shut up cur! You are within my power here. Even your measly mind can see you are outmatched”
Sarcasm dripped from his words as he lazily examined the force arrayed before him. “And oh how I am so impressed. They even have teeth!”
“Shut up! You will submit to me, one way or another.” Chrysalis took a threatening step forward.
“I believe not, Chrissy my dear. Vassals, if you would?”
Green light flared again and the other half of the town revealed themselves to be drones as well, though their carapaces were aquamarine and polished to an impressive luster. Now revealed, the drones leapt up to face their counterparts with fangs bared. A hiss spread through all the drones as each side, scattered as they were between the others backed up into pockets of fighters, formed rings of fangs and malice bared outwards. Few swipes were made and none drew blood but tensions were high.
So it was that both sides froze as a very equine cough broke through their ranks. Sitting next to a barrel top poker game, who’s other participants were now quite literally at each other’s throats, was a single cowpoke.
He looked decidedly uncomfortable in his current position. Wedged between two changelings of opposing colors who stalwartly refused to put down their cards the suddenly focused attention had him sweating bullets.
Slowly, ever so slowly, the pony put down his cards on the smallest pile of bits and picked up a ten gallon hat with a quiet mutter of “You, um ah, go head an play for me Limerick,” which saw the changeling on the left scoop the pile into his own. He stood and put on his hat, eyes darting back and forth.
“I um--” he announced to the crowd, “seem to have left my black shell thing out back. If’n you don’t mind I’ll, uh, go an fetch it right quick.” With that he turned around and sidled away between two buildings with nothing more than a ‘pardon me’ to one of the drones as he passed.
No one spoke. Everyling watched in silence as the cowpoke hastily ducked behind a shed. They didn’t even blink as the sound of galloping hooves quickly retreated into the distance.
And for a moment nothing moved. The tumbleweeds stopped tumbling, the troughs stopped splashing, the birds stopped calling. Even the ever present wind seemed to hold its breath. The silence begged to be filled, and they filled it the only way changelings knew how. Tegmine snickered.
“I see you can’t even manage to properly subdue a town.”
Chrysalis scoffed. “Was that supposed to be a jibe? Please. With the power I stole from Shining Armor I could squash the town and you with a thought.”
“You? Squash me? Hardly. I have been feeding on Cadence, Alicorn Princess of Love, for weeks. I now hold more power in my hoof than an entire swarm of ‘lings. You couldn’t hope to compare yourself to me.”
“Weeks? Ha! I knew you were thick, but this is almost comical! I captured the princess Cadence over a month ago and have been feasting on the dear captain’s devotion to her ever since. ‘Feeding off the princess’ love’? Laughable! You cannot eat that which does not exist. You are as likely to have been chewing on the servant’s devotion as fabricating your power in its entirety with your delusion. Pitiful does not even begin to describe it.”
He blinked. “Ridiculous. I have been eating rather well. In fact just last night I supped on the princess. It was wonderfully spicy.”
“What? When?”
“Last night,” he insisted, “We returned to our chambers. When she lay down I began kneading her back and she let off waves of peppery sweet emotion.”
“Last night? But I was feeding last night. The servile captain provided entertainment and nourishment with his ministrations while I sucked from him his--” Chrysalis stopped abruptly as the inkling of an idea tickled at her mind. It is impossible, she thought, for such a thing to happen it would mean both that--
Tegimine, of course, ruined her train of thought. “Well, if you like to drink from me so much I have something else you could latch on to.”
“You dog!” she yelled. “I’ll EAT you!” She struck him across the face with a hoof and his composure finally crumbled.
She screamed and he returned it in kind, both of them nearly incoherent in their rage as venomous insults flew from their lips like so much spittle.
“You lying--”
“--Ignoble--”
“--pompous--”
“--megalomatic--”
“--roguish--”
“--bile infused--”
“--snake!”
“--harlot!”
Inequine sound rippled outward as the two screamed at each other. Tegmine rose to his hind legs, towering over Chrysalis until she did the same. Their eyes spit fire, legs kicking for balance, as their bodies contorted to the absolute limit to stand above the other. Their necks trickled green flames as they elongated upwards another inch or two desperately trying to rise above their enemy. When that failed, and gravity finally took hold, they fell forwards butting heads. Each held upright by sheer rage and determination.
Horns locked together. Sputtering green magic flared as they tried to gain the upper hoof with a spell only to be countered by the other. The deadly game reached a standstill as the two stayed locked together, eyes promising unspeakable pain to the other. They stood head to head, nose to nose, lip to lip.
And then they kissed.
---- -- ----
“And then they kissed.”
“Ewww!” Scootaloo said, miming a gag out the clubhouse window. “Why are they kissing?”
“Because,” Sweetie Belle said as she set down her notebook and pencil, “they’re destined to be together. Two creatures cursed to steal love from others find their special somepony just like them. It’s romantic!”
“It’s gross! They’re evil bugs from an evil empire that tried to invade the country. Why would you want to write a story about them?”
"Scoots has a point," Applebloom interjected, "it is a little strange to write about Chrysalis of all creatures."
“Scootaloo! It's not gross, it's a romance. It’s a story about how love conquers everything!”
“It’s weird, there’s hardly any action at all. Where did you even get the idea for something like that?”
“I read it in a book. I found it in the library behind a chair wrapped in a cover for one of the books in the Starswirl collection.”
“And you looked inside of it because...?”
“I thought it might teach me how to levitate myself.”
Scootaloo shook her head. “Okay, that would be cool, but that doesn’t explain why you kept reading it.”
Applebloom looked at the discarded notebook, tuning out her arguing friends as she considered the story. It was missing something. She knew lots of stories about adventure and fantastical creatures and places but none of them were quite like Sweetie’s story.
Maybe it just needed…
Applebloom grabbed Sweetie’s discarded pencil and began scribbling away, her own mouth writing blocky compared to Sweetie’s more flowing script. Sure, Sweetie’s slanted horn writing wasn’t as graceful as Rarity’s but it was better than anything she’d seen around Sweet Apple Acres. Anypony would be able to spot the addition, but a few tweaks would make it read more like the stories she knew.
All the changelings looked at the two changelings on the ground. They shuffled around awkwardly because none of them really knew why the two rulers were kissing because they had only met a little bit ago. Instead they all started talking among themselves about what had happened and seeing as the whole invasion plan didn’t go so well, decided that maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to attack the ponies.
“Hey Miss Chrysalis,” said one, “maybe we shouldn’t have attacked the ponies. Their values of friendship and harmony seem like they did a mighty fine job of sending us packing. Maybe if we go back and say we’re sorry then we can all still be friends.”
“Oh,” said Chrysalis, “that is a good idea. With the power of friendship anything is possible. King Tegmine should come too. Maybe there will even be a pony who gets their cutiemark making love for changelings.”
“Good idea,” said King Tegmine, “that way we won’t have to fight anymore and everyone can be happy.”
So all the changelings stood up and started heading back to
“Applebloom!” Sweetie cried, “what are you doing?!”
“Ooh! Let me see!” Scootaloo said, pushing in to get a look at the new additions.
“Ah’m helping! Every good story needs a moral, just like all those books that Granny Smith reads to us. Some pony always needs to learn how to be a better pony so that everypony can work together and make things better.”
“But it’s not like Granny Smith’s bedtime stories. It’s supposed to be about love that transcends bitter rivalries and how even the most dastardly of villains can find redemption if only their heart allows it!”
Sweetie’s resigned sigh could’ve filled a bathtub full of journals. “Maybe I should've just asked Rarity about it. She talks about romance enough to fill three of Spike’s letters.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because! She would have done her smile-giggle-dance thing and then tried to show me how it’s 'supposed' to be done and taken over. I wanted it to be my story. I asked Pinkie instead.”
“Pinkie. Really?” Scootaloo deadpan tone could have flattened a mountain, “did she tell you to add some balloon animals?”
“No, she just giggled and said Tegmine should ‘admire Chrysalis’ callipygian form’.”
“What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know! When I asked Twilight about it she just got really red and refused to tell me. She wouldn’t even let me look it up!”
“Really? She wouldn’t let you use a book?” Applebloom asked as the two made their way out of the clubhouse, Sweetie dragging her hooves as they went. “Are you sure that was Twilight and not a changeling in disguise?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. She was blushing and doing that thing where her eyes twitch so fast they look like they're spinning. If a changeling could copy that emotion they would have taken over Equestria by now.” She sighed again, “Let’s go find Rarity. I guess she’ll be able to help.”
Scootaloo paused for a moment, looking down at the discarded notebook as her friends exited the treehouse. It sat unfinished in her hooves. Applebloom’s mouth writing left the story trailing off both literally and physically and she didn't feel right to just leave it like that.
Sweetie had worked hard on her story and it wasn’t right to leave it hanging. It deserved a fitting end, a reward for the work that went into it. And it needed to be awesome.
Scootaloo reached for the pencil.
“Scootaloo! Are you coming?”
“Yeah!” She called back, hastily scribbling on the page, “Just a second!”
She spit out the pencil with a proud smirk and stuffed the notebook in her saddlebag. “Awesome.” She muttered, then louder, “Wait for me!”
A perfect end for her friend’s story. Maybe she should try writing too? A.K. Yearling wrote really cool books, how hard could it be?
Then Rainbow Dash showed up and detonated a Rainboom right above the two changelings. All the bugs exploded and Rainbow Dash was given twelve medals for bravery and being really cool.
~ The End ~