Mom, how do you give a proper blowjob?
“Cadence! Could you come in here a minute?”
When Shining Armor’s call echoed through the castle halls, Princess Cadence of the Crystal Empire hurried over to her daughter’s bedroom doors at a sprint. Royal dignity be damned where the well-being of her one and only child was concerned, even if she was a grown woman by now. “What’s wrong?”
Shining Armor looked at his wife with eyes as wide as if he’d seen a ghost and put his hands on her shoulders. “Tag, you’re it,” he said and bolted out of the room.
“I … er … what? … Oh-kay,” Cadence mumbled towards the back of her fleeing husband before she could get in another word edgewise. Stepping into the lushly decorated bedroom, she spotted Flurry Heart sitting on her bed, a large pillow clutched to her chest and moodily staring into the distance. “What’s the matter, kiddo?”
Silence.
Cadence stepped into the room fully, folding her hands before her. “Listen, I don’t know what you said to your father, but I haven’t seen him run like that since his old army buddies challenged him to that burrito eating contest,” she informed her daughter with wry amusement.
“I was just … asking him about when you two were first going out … about your first …”
“What? Our first date? I wonder why he wouldn’t tell you about it. That’s a cute story.”
“No, not that … your … urgh!”
Cadence drew closer yet again, taking a seat at the edge of the bed, waiting patiently for Flurry to gather her thoughts.
“I was asking him about the first time you gave him a blowjob!”
“Huh … that’s also a cute story, actually. But your father doesn’t like it when I call it that. I could tell you. But something tells me that’s not what this is really about.”
“… Mom, how do you give a proper blowjob?”
“There it is.” She reached for a cord hanging next to the bed and pulled it to ring a bell. When a maid appeared in the doorway, she said: “Could you bring some tea for us, and a fruit platter, please? And a can of whipped cream. That one’s important.”
“Right away, Your Majesty,” the servant girl replied with a bow and hurried away.
“Now,” Cadence began, barely able to contain her amusement, “why under Celestia’s sun would you ask your father instead of just coming to me directly? It’s no wonder he freaked when he heard a question like that come out of his Little Princess. You could have given him a heart attack.”
“I dunno. It’s hard to talk to you about these things. You’re … the Princess of Love. You’re good at this stuff, and it feels like I have to measure up. You always have everything figured out, and I have no idea what I’m doing half the time.”
“Listen, Flurry. I was your age once. It took me time to figure it out, and it takes some trial and error. It takes a lot of courage to even offer …”
“Oh, I did it,” Flurry interrupted.
“… Okay. Check that one off the list. Tell me what happened.”
Flurry once again grew quiet and her gaze wandered off into the distance, before she answered. “… He didn’t like it.”
“Hm, and does he have a name?”
The answer was somewhat clipped. “I don’t see how that’s relevant to the discussion.”
Unable to contain her amusement any longer, Cadence laughed out loudly at that. “So you’re willing to ask both me and your father about the mechanics involved, admit that you’ve already given it a go, but you won’t tell me who the dick in question is attached to?”
“That’s private!” Flurry protested.
“Alright, fine. I’ll just redeploy a couple palace guards to recon. I’ll know in a week or so.”
“Mom!”
“I’m just kidding.” Cadence scooched over and drew a comforting arm around her daughter. “You know you can always come and talk to me about anything. And anything you don’t want to talk about, I won’t pry into. I trust you. You’ve got a smart head on your shoulders.”
At that moment, another servant appeared, rolling in a tea set and the requested food on a serving cart before bowing.
“Thank you. You can leave it right there,” Cadence told the man.
“Will there be anything else, Your Majesty?” he inquired.
“Yes. Go find my husband and tell him that he better take care of that appointment with the Griffonian ambassador in my stead. He knows why he owes me. And please make sure my daughter and I aren’t disturbed for the next hour or so.”
Flurry Heart waited for the man to bow yet again, withdraw and respectfully close the door behind him before addressing her mother again. “You really think you can teach me in just an hour?”
“Well, I can give you the basics, Cocksucking 101. We’ll hold off on the advanced stuff until next semester.”
Flurry Heart nodded. “Yeah, basics sounds good.”
“Okay, paint me a picture here. Circumcised or not?” Cadence picked out a banana from the food cart and held it up in front of her. “About this size? More or less girth? More pointy or more rounded?”
Blushing furiously, Flurry Heart gradually revealed more and more details about size and shape.
“Oh, I know this one,” Cadence suddenly said. “Guess I don’t have to bring in the Secret Service to get a name.”
Flurry stared at her mother in shock, mouth agape.
Cadence held the gaze, then began to snort-giggle. “You’re too much fun to mess with.”
Flurry picked up the pillow she’d been clutching and began hitting her mother with it, sending feathers flying here and there in the process. “Take this seriously, mom! Geez!”
Cadence continued to laugh for a bit before calming down. “I’m just saying, no daughter of mine should be this gullible at age eighteen. Clearly, you get this from your father’s side of the family.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a Grade A Troll, mom?”
“I blame your Great-aunt Celestia for that. You have it in you too, young one. You’ll understand once you have a child or personal student of your own. Okay, let’s go on.” Cadence began peeling the skin off the fruit.
Flurry rolled her eyes. “Why is it always a banana? That’s so cliché. Wouldn’t, I dunno, a soy sausage be more realistic? You know, consistency-wise?”
“A banana is a good learning tool precisely because of its consistency. It makes it easier to spot your mistakes. Watch.” Cadence brushed her hair behind her ear to give her daughter a good view and slid the banana past her lips, sucking on it a couple times before removing it again and pointing at it. “I messed that one up on purpose with a classic rookie mistake. See that groove that runs along the length here? You said he didn’t enjoy it. So I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume there was some tooth-scraping action?”
Flurry sucked in her lips, but said nothing. Her expression said it all.
“Shaft or tip?” Cadence inquired matter-of-factly.
“… Both.”
She grimaced at that. “Ouch.” Then she handed over the banana. “Here.”
Flurry looked at her, unsure on how to proceed.
“Just go to town on it. I need to know what I’m working with here.”
Resigned to her fate and a permanent flush now making a home on her cheeks, Flurry opened her mouth and began sucking on the banana awkwardly while Cadence watched attentively. At one point, the fruit hit the back of her throat, causing her to gag and bite down in reflex. Then she sat there sheepishly, with the half bitten off banana in hand.
Cadence fell back onto the bed, bursting out into a full belly laugh. “Hahahah! Oh, there goes my dream of ever having grandchildren, I guess. I can refer you to a good adoption agency, you know.”
Flurry began to blush more deeply, puffed up her cheeks and began chewing the piece in her mouth grouchily. “If you’re just gonna make fun of me, I’m gonna ask Aunt Twilight about this the next time I see her.”
“Trust me,” Cadence replied, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, “your aunt would hightail it out of here even faster than your dad did. She’d be in Yakyakistan by the time you finished asking.” She took a moment to snack on the remains of the fruit before getting a fresh teaching implement from the cart and peeling it. “You’re too eager. You need to take your time at the beginning, build up slowly at a comfortable pace. Watch.”
Making sure that she had her daughter’s undivided attention, she stuck out her tongue and began running it along the entire shaft of the fruit lovingly, every now and then puckering her lips to give it or the tip a quick butterfly kiss. She then took the tip into her mouth, sucked it in and let it pop out again with a plop.
Flurry Heart stared with wide eyes at the demonstration.
Cadence snapped her fingers to get Flurry’s attention. “Another important thing, eye contact. Look at him, not at his cock. Notice how I’m looking at you. Men are delicate, you need to let them know that you value them as a person, not just a piece of meat. Then you can take him deep.”
Flurry Heart nodded and Cadence went on, tipping her head back and slowly sliding the banana deeper down her throat at a steady pace until Flurry could see her mother’s throat actually bulge out. “Whoa!”
“Ah!” Cadence gasped after pulling it all the way back out again, showing off the unscathed fruit. “Don’t try to take it that far, not at first. That takes practice. When you feel it hit the back of your throat and your gag reflex kicks in, just stop and try to hold it there, then slowly pull back if you can’t. Ready to try?”
Flurry nodded, taking a fresh banana for herself and mimicking her mother’s movements. “Like this?”
“Eye contact,” Cadence reminded her, pointing at her own eyes with her index and middle finger. “Pretend I’m him and look at me. Good.”
Slowly but surely, the jerky motions smoothed out as Flurry Heart began to get an understanding of the process and her head motions became more rhythmic, bobbing to a tune only she could hear.
“Try to change the angle once in a while,” Cadence advised, “let the tip brush against the soft flesh of your cheeks.”
Flurry moved the banana around, trying to find a good angle.
“No,” Cadence said while wincing, “remember that thing is attached to a sentient being that you presumably care about. You can’t just twist it like that. Move your head.”
Flurry groaned and pulled out. The shaft showed teeth marks in various spots. “This is so hard! My teeth keep hitting it,” she complained.
“Tuck your incisors behind your upper lip, and stick out your tongue a little, that way it always covers your lower teeth,” Cadence explained patiently. “Also, don’t try to suck all the time. You’re not a vacuum cleaner. Let your tongue and lips run the entire length of the shaft, then make a seal with your lips intermittently and suck. It’ll be much more pleasurable for him. You’ll figure out the right pace in time.”
Flurry’s movements smoothed out even further. Cadence pointed two fingers at her eyes, then nodded as Flurry began to hold her gaze more firmly.
“Hold out your other hand.” Cadence picked up two plums from the food cart and handed them to her daughter. “Don’t forget his balls. Fondle them, keep them warm. Give ‘em a squeeze once in a while, but not too hard. You can also suck on them a little when you’re running your tongue along the shaft.”
Satisfied with the progress, Cadence returned to sucking on her own banana while keeping her eyes on her student who began to copy her motions, receiving a nod when she did well and a raised eyebrow when she didn’t.
This went on for a while until Flurry came out with a few rapid fire questions: “How do I know when he’s ready to cum? What do I do? Do I keep it in my mouth? Do I take it out? Do I swallow or spit it out?"
“Can’t tell you that,” Cadence replied flatly.
Flurry was incredulous. “I thought you were supposed to have all the answers!”
“Doesn’t work like that, kiddo. Everyone’s different. Remember this word: Communication! You need to tell him what you want, with words. You can do it with a look once you know someone really well. But at first, you have to talk about it. So does he. Otherwise, he’s gonna worry about it and it’ll throw him off. Here, let me show you.” Cadence stood up and took the banana from her daughter, holding it in front of her face and stroking it as if jerking off. She deliberately lowered her voice and made it gravelly. “Flurry, you sexy thing, I’m about to cum. Where do you want it?”
Flurry began to laugh.
“What?” Cadence asked, nearly ready to also burst into laughter. “What is it?”
“Mom, cut it out. I can’t keep a straight face if you’re doing your dad impression while you’re doing it.”
Smiling, the Princess of Love replied: “Your father is actually a lot more high-pitched in bed. But don’t tell him I said that. Now, still waiting for an answer here.” She wiggled the banana for emphasis.
“I … I think … I want it on my face,” Flurry replied after giving it some thought and stuck out her tongue, looking up expectantly.
Cadence reached over to grab the can of whipped cream, pretending to grunt while shaking it. Then she aimed the business end at her daughter’s face and let loose.
Flurry giggled a little as she received it, but kept her mouth open while holding eye contact. She moved the whipped cream in her mouth as she began to massage her breasts over her clothes.
“Whoa, you’re really getting into this.”
Flurry blushed furiously. “Sorry,” she said, moving her hands immediately to her sides.
“Don’t apologize. That’s good. It’s the most important rule, in fact. You’re only doing it right if you’re enjoying it.” Cadence put another fleck of whipped cream onto the banana and held it up to her face. “Go on,” she said.
Flurry licked it off, gave the tip another suck and swallowed, showing her empty mouth proudly.
“Good girl.” Cadence put down the banana and can, scooped some cream from the tip of Flurry Heart’s nose and licked it off her finger. “And thus concludes our lesson,” she said, handing her daughter a handkerchief to get cleaned up.
The young woman received the handkerchief graciously and began to clean herself up.
“Feeling better now, a little more confident perhaps?” Cadence asked.
“Yeah, I think so.” Flurry gave a genuine smile and sighed in relief. “Thanks, mom. You’re a great teacher, and I’m glad to have you. I love you.”
Cadence cooed and pulled her daughter into a hug. “Aw, I love you too, baby girl.” The hug extended into a comfortable and warm silence, before Cadence added: “By the way, tell Spike I’ll be expecting a thank you letter from him when you put what you've learned today into practice.”
Flurry Heart went pale at the mention of her boyfriend’s name. “H-h-how …?” She stuttered as she broke the hug and looked at her mother.
Cadence pumped her fist. “Yes! Got it in one!” She grinned, then stuck out her tongue cheekily. “I was just taking a shot in the dark. But thanks for confirming it right away.”
Flurry made some undignified noises in the back of her throat, then picked up the previously discarded pillow and began assaulting her giggling mother with it once again.