The Magnificent Minty Mammoth Mare

by Third Wheel

First published

Another day, another hours-long banquet for Canterlot's Maiden of Morsels. Bon Bon sometimes wonders if her wife didn't take the whole thing too far.

When Bon Bon decided to pull some strings and get Lyra appointed as the Maiden of Morsels, an old and no longer used position as part of the castle staff, she only did it as a favour to her wife, knowing her passion for food. She did not expect the unicorn to take it as far as she did. Still, Lyra herself seemed to quite enjoy her situation.

A giftmission for White-eyed Vireo, who also came up with the title. Cover art done by EqlearQ.

Lardy Lounging Lyra

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Lyra awoke from her sleep, shaken from her torpor by the sounds coming from her own stomach. It was almost lunchtime already, she established by looking at the clock, and that meant it was time to eat. She was starving, and her body told her so. With a slow and lazy effort, she lifted her massive foreleg and tried to reach and pull down on the rope hanging beside her, connected to a bell in her servants' barracks. Then she gave up, and used her magic instead.

A pony of her title couldn't be expected to move, of course. Not that a pony of her size could, anyway. She stood, or technically sat, easily thrice as tall as an adult pony, all thanks to layers upon layers of fat all over her body, limbs, belly, face and all. It was a miracle she could still try to lift her front leg, though she hoped soon enough that would be impossible too. She'd have her horn to call ponies there, and that would be all she would need. Her stomach whined in protest again. She needed to be fed.

The doors finally opened, much to the unicorn's delight, and in came the guards carrying the first of the day's tables of food. Alongside them was her dear Bon Bon, who walked up to the fat unicorn while the other stallions and mares prepared everything. "Finally awake, I see," the earth pony said. "I still think you might have taken this whole Maiden of Morsels business a little too far. This is not exactly what I had in mind when I got S.M.I.L.E. to convince Celestia to give you the title."

Lyra smiled down at her, her face encircled by rolls of flabby mass that had led to the complete disappearance of her neck. "Come on, Bon. This is wonderful." The unicorn eyed the trays of foods being lined up before her, a line of drool falling down the corner of her mouth. "Speaking of S.M.I.L.E., any news on that automatic feeding tube you mentioned? It would be really nice if I could wake up without feeling so hungry."

"No news just yet, I'm afraid," Bon Bon replied, hiding a smile. She took a few steps forward and lay against the unicorn's gargantuan belly, almost sinking into the fat of the mare's body. "I'm sure it'll be ready soon though," she said, lovingly running a hoof along Lyra's stretched skin. "Then you'll never have to feel hungry again." She hugged the mare, or at least splayed her front legs onto the small portion of Lyra's size she could reach, and nuzzled her affectionately.

Lyra looked at her with a warm expression, as much as her fatness allowed her to look in that direction, then her attention was drawn in front of her by a guard clearing his throat. She turned, and immediately licked her lips at the sight of all the food finally ready for her consumption. Running her gaze along all the overfilled plates, she let her mind wander for a moment, then another sound of protest from her stomach shook her out of it. "You may begin to feed me," she spoke.

Nodding once, with a subtle but respectful bow of their necks, the guardsponies took on the daily task of filling up the mare. A pair of pegasi at the front of the line, tasked with the first shift of the day, grabbed the first plate in their hooves and flew up to her mouth, tilting it slightly forward. A collection of omelets, scrambled eggs, hard boiled eggs, and all sorts of other ways to cook eggs slid forward and into the glutton's waiting maw, the guards careful not to let a single crumb fall to the floor.

Lyra took it all in, practically without chewing. The food slid down her throat and fell right into her stomach, eliciting another gargle from it. There were enough eggs there to serve as the breakfast for every maid in the castle, but to the unicorn it was merely a first morsel for the day. The first bite of a meal that would last until dusk, as it had every day before then ever since she'd started to take advantage of her title.

Then came the second portion. Milk, in what had once been a very large flower pot. They couldn't find anything big enough otherwise. It was more like a cauldron, really, large enough for a pony to bathe in, and the two guards almost struggled to lift it up. Thankfully their wings were steady, and once they got in position not a single drop was spilled as all the creamy white, freshly milked liquid slid down Lyra's throat like water down a water-slide at an amusement park.

Another tray, muffins this time. Lyra was starting to doze off already, almost entering that blissful state of uncaring where she just had to swallow food and enjoy being stuffed full of it. Not yet though, her stomach was still quite empty. The bakery closest to the castle was always closed during the morning, but its employees up since dawn, tasked by the Royal Guard itself to provide sweets for the unmoving unicorn residing within the castle's halls.

One by one the muffins were thrown into the humongous mare's mouth, though to her they were little more than what breadcrumbs were to a normal pony. Sweet-tasting breadcrumbs, yes, but still far too small for her to notice them much. If the guards threw them just right, they could land in her throat without even touching her mouth. Not that that was a problem, she cared about filling her stomach more than about tasting the food anyway. She didn't have much time to waste with chewing either, after all.

The last muffin lazily rolled down her tongue and into her gullet, and the tired couple of guards were replaced by two unicorns. Their horns lit, and the combined glow of their magic envelope the first of the day's cakes. It was bigger than what any married couple would get for their wedding, either because they couldn't afford one so big or because it would go uneaten even with all the ponies invited. To Lyra, it was just dish number four of her average day.

It was kind of ironic how it all had started. Originally, the title had been nothing more than a relic of a bygone time, from when the Princess' life could be threatened by ponies intent on taking the throne for themselves. If any country could sugar-coat even the concept of checking for poison it was Equestria. The Maiden of Morsels had stopped being a real thing after that time when poison had gotten through, and everypony had realised Celestia was immune to it.

Still, the position itself had never technically been abolished. Just not renewed. So it hadn't been too hard for Bon Bon to pull a few strings here and there and get Lyra the title. The unicorn had always had a sweet tooth, one of the many things that made her enjoy her partner's company. So the prospect of her being allowed to waltz into the Royal Kitchens of Canterlot Castle and pick up this or that to see how it tasted had seemed rather good to both of them. Things had gone a bit differently from the planned course.

What had started as a taste test had effectively turned into a stress test for the cooks and bakers. Lyra liked eating, and she was allowed to do it, and one thing had led to another and soon she was cleaning up after the Gala, then after every wedding, the asking this or that pastry shop to present a full array of their products for a rating and then asking the entire castle stuff to simulate an emergency situation to see how well and how fast they could produce food while under pressure.

The answer was enough to bloat a pony up to sizes bigger than a grown elephant, it turned out. Now Lyra sat in the hall reserved to her, immobilised by her own weight and mass. She was rather happy about it though. The happiest pony in Canterlot, probably. What did she have to worry about? She was tended to by dozens of guards, she had Bon Bon come visit her every day, and most importantly she had food. Lots of food, enough to fill almost every single moment of her life that wasn't spent sleeping and dreaming of more food.

Slice by slice, the tall cake was fed into the gluttonous mare's mouth. Some chewing was required there, or they wouldn't break enough to pass into her throat. But it was a quick thing. She was mostly chasing the feeling of fullness she so loved to experience. It was a beautiful thing to live. Just the satisfaction of it, the feeling of needing nothing more to be happy. But to get there she needed to eat. And so she ate, and after just minutes the empty plate was brought up to her face for her to lick the last drops of frosting away.

Another tray placed in front of her, another round of food. This time it was something a little lighter, to recover from the cake. Bread, mostly, sprinkled with herbs and butter and nuts and almonds and more butter just to be sure. And some honey too, that was always a good thing. It was meant as the appetizer for her upcoming lunch, as she transitioned from her breakfast onto the second portion of her massive meal. She always liked that part. The realisation that just her breakfast was more than a pony ate in multiple days.

The first table was now empty. Quickly enough though, the guards replaced it with another, and the two ponies tending to her switched out for another couple. Earth ponies this time around, so a ladder was brought along to allow them to climb up to her mouth. Thankfully, the were strong enough that lifting the various trays and plates up there was no problem for them. The first portion they carried was soup, its colour a bright orange that spoke of the effort that had gone into growing the ingredients.

Lyra could feel all of them as litres of it rolled over her tongue and into her stomach. Carrots and pumpkin and leek and onions and the potatoes that gave consistency to the mixture, chunks of them occasionally left whole inside it. She could feel them all, true, but she didn't focus on it. She was much happier with concentrating on the way the fluid hit her insides as she swallowed it, on the way it filled her up just a little more. It was so easy with soup, you could eat so much so quickly.

Of course though, it wasn't particularly dense. Feeling full was one thing, but the water inside it would get through pretty quickly. She wanted to feel the weight of her meal as it bloated her just as well. Thankfully, the following dish did just that. Carefully balanced on the guards' hooves as they carried it on the steps towards the massive pony's mouth, the quasi-literal mountain of hoof-made pasta that she was fed could have knocked out a pony by falling on their head.

It was a rather nice thing to eat for the unicorn, a part of her daily routine she always looked forward to. Just the sheer thickness she felt when chewing through the food. There she did allow herself to chew, yes. It took away all the little spaces normally filled with air, leaving her mouth filled with an almost glue-like mesh of carbs that would have scared into hiding any pony who cared about their diet or physical shape. And when she swallowed, she felt it cling on her throat, and hit her stomach like a boulder falling into a lake.

Then came a little break. Like any proper lunch, there was bread to be had. In this particular case, loaves and loaves of bread, all freshly baked from the best shops in Canterlot. In was still pleasantly warm as it was inserted into her maws, with an almost creamy consistency that made it seem like it was melting in her mouth as she lazily bit down on it between her inflated cheeks. It felt filling like not many other things. It had a weight, a density to it that almost no other food quite matched, and it filled her fuller than anything else.

A single sip of water was needed to properly down all remains of the bread. In her case, that meant a couple of buckets getting carried up the ladder. She didn't like water much, it didn't fill her like food did. But if it meant unclogging her throat so she could eat more, it was a sacrifice she was willing to make. The guards were even kind enough to add sugar to it, which admittedly did make it feel nicer as it was poured into her mouth. And it made her grow bigger, which was always a plus.

On to the next plate, this time carried by unicorns as the earth ponies took some time to rest. Rice, warm and thick with the butter it had been mixed with. It entered her mouth in chunks, and broke out into tiny pieces she could easily swallow. It was an incredibly efficient process, one that allowed the most intake with the least movement short of drinking something purely fluid in nature. It wasn't too tasty, but that didn't matter. Had dirt been edible she's have gladly taken it.

Oddly coincidental that that thought came to her head just as she was transitioning to the dish after that. While most of her food came from Canterlot itself or occasionally Manehattan, mostly the product of cooks going through banquet training, the Crown had seen it fit to send out notice of the unicorn's role and presence to all Equestria, so that any bakery or restaurant willing to could send her part of their products. It efficiently dealt with leftovers, if nothing else.

Of course, Sugarcube Corner, in Ponyville, had been no exception to hearing the news, and they did occasionally send something. The Cake family had fond memories of Lyra, after all. They usually only sent a small cake or two, but it was certainly welcome. Pinkie, when she had time, also sent stuff through the bakery, though her gifts were much larger in nature. No guard had the heart to tell the royal bakers that one single pony outperformed all of them combined when she tried.

But that wasn't the only thing that came from Ponyville. As the Maiden of Morsels was open to receiving all kinds of food, not just sweets, the pink pony had decided she should receive something more than just her cakes and cookies and cupcakes and muffins and odd combinations of the things. So she had asked her own mother. And as a result, every once in a while, a bucket of rock soup ended up on the table Lyra was fed from. The guards had stopped asking questions after the third time she'd drunk it all without saying a word.

Then came a round of cheese. Lyra always had cheese, every day, and many different kinds. That was another one of her contributions to society. She'd have exhausted the country's reservoirs in just a month or less with her rhythm, so the ponies in Canterlot had to get creative. Quite a number of different ageing spells had been developed and perfected in the relatively short amount of time she'd spent in her position, and unicorns in their first years of study now trained with spells that far outclassed what experts had access just two decades before.

Which was wonderful news, because it meant Lyra could have all the cheese she wanted. She liked cheese. It tasted nice, it wasn't too hard to chew, and it fattened her up. It wasn't as good as butter, but it was pretty close. Anything made from milk in general had quite the allure to her. Food made from vegetables didn't quite get there to scratch her itch, it wasn't fulfilling enough. Too light, too watery even. Sure, there was sugar, but even that wasn't enough alone. Everypony knew the best cakes had eggs and milk and butter.

Carrot cakes and pumpkin cakes were not the best cakes, clearly. But they were her next meal, and she didn't really mind. Better to eat anything than to not eat, after all. And just as she downed the third foal-sized portion of vegetables, she finally hit the sweet spot she'd been looking forward to the whole day. The point where her massive stomach was filled in its relaxed state, and she could begin to stuff it. Thankfully the food in her mouth soaked up all the drooling.

There was a second round of eggs then, one she consumed about as quickly as the first one. Consume was the right term, or at the very least the one the guards had started using. Lyra didn't eat. Eating implied reasons like feeding to guarantee survival, or in more advanced creatures enjoying the taste of the food. But the unicorn could have been swallowing cardboard and concrete for all she cared. It wasn't about needing or tasting. It was about filling herself up, as much as she could.

There was something then, on her next plate, a food she didn't know the name of. She'd been told many times, every day she had it, but she was always too out of it to care. She was lost in the chemical rush triggered in her brain by finally feeling herself full. The little seed-like bits of the dish slid down her throat without the unicorn even registering they'd been poured into her mouth, without her noticing the guards had changed. Her eyes were foggy, and her smile wide.

Of course, she was forced back to at least some awareness once she had to start chewing. Which she had to with butter. They could have just let it melt in her mouth, but that would have taken time, and time spent not eating was time poorly spent for the mare. She had dozens of chunks of delicious fat to get through, more than enough to supply the nearest bakery for a week or two. And every one was crushed between her plump cheeks, and happily swallowed.

Then was the time of jam. Marmalade and strawberry jam and apricot jam and chestnut jam and cherry jam and more and more the unicorn couldn't name, spread on slices of fresh or toasted bread or fed into her mouth through magic entire jars at a time. They couldn't spoonfeed her, they'd risk losing the spoons. The multicoloured mixture of sugary sweets slid through her mouth and over her tongue, landing into the mass of food at the unicorn's core and stretching her just a tiny bit wider.

Fruit followed. She didn't like vegetables too much, too much water and not enough substance, they bloated her without really filling her. But fruit was different. Fruit was sweet, it had sugars in it. Sure, the taste wasn't relevant, but sugar was still sugar. It made her fat. Peaches flew into her mouth one after the other, crushed by subtle movements of her lardy cheeks more than properly chewed. And then pears and kiwis and pineapples and oranges and strawberries and more and more.

And then apples. Apples had their own table. It was like an Apple family reunion by proxy, and given Applejack's personal recommendation to her relatives to treat her old quasi-friend well the results were quite something. There were apple fritters, red apples, redder apples, yellow apples, green apples, caramel apples, apple strudel, apple tarts, baked apples, apple brioches, apple cinnamon crisp, and more apples still. Entire baskets of them, full to the brim.

The world around her became a blur to Lyra at that point. Food went in she didn't even recognise, and all she cared about was swallowing it all. Guards switched out without her realising they had, hours ticked by without her registering the occurrence, and her stomach filled up more and more. It was the only thing she was focused on at that point. The swelling, filling sensation of bliss coming from her overstuffed belly, bloated to the point of making it impossible for her to move.

The guards had come to know and recognise that state. It was a fascinating thing, and occasionally a doctor or two would come studying it. It was also the only real danger they faced, as they'd realised after poor Silver Spear had gotten his wing bitten by the mare. Thankfully they'd caught the pegasus before he'd accidentally been dragged into her mouth. Lyra herself had never found out it had even happened. Still, it wasn't too bad, not if one was careful enough.

What the unicorn was going through was pure ecstasy on her end. Somewhere in the distance, she was aware of the way her stomach kept expanding, and that was the only thing she had knowledge of as far as reality around her went. Everything else was just beautiful nothing. She didn't need to move, she didn't need to strain herself in any way, she didn't need to do anything. She just had to be, to exist, and everything was right. Everything was taken care of.

It was a marvellous thing. To be still, completely unmoving, and yet requiring no effort at all to be satisfied. To be satiated. It wasn't about hunger anymore, it was something different. Something primal, in a sense, though not something a primal creature could have ever experienced. A combination of things, most likely. Eating was good. Growing fat was good. Being fed was good. Being full was good. And she didn't need to act to receive any of those things, they were simply gifted to her.

Life was nothing more than a pleasant haze of pure white fulfilment for the pony at that moment. She wasn't even conscious of the fact that any of it had to do with food anymore. There was just the pleasurable half-conscious state she was in, and the how and why of her getting and staying there didn't matter at all. She wasn't awake enough to remember it was through being fed that she reached that state, and she couldn't care about it either way.

Something that wasn't food entered her mouth, waking her up just enough to notice it was there and stop her from trying to chew on it. It was round, it extended past her lips, the long part of it flexible and almost gummy while the rim was hard, plastic or possibly metal. She would have probably realised by herself that it was a very large hose in a couple more seconds, but food started to come out of it and that cleared up any doubts she might have had.

She barely made out Bon Bon's words about testing out the feeding system, as she already began to slip back into the foggy depths of her food-induced semi-coma. What felt like molten butter flowed into her mouth, thick and creamy but just fluid enough to flow down her throat without getting caught in her mouth. Other things followed, too. Chocolate syrup, sugary beverages, milk, cream, cheese, jam, custard, and all sorts of other things so that the machine could be properly tested out.

Unfortunately though, it was only a test. Each burst of new food was short lived, and eventually the hose was removed from her mouth. Lyra stared with half-lidded eyes at the room around her, shaken from her torpor. Was there more food? It was always good when there was more food. Was there more food? Peering out through the rolls of fat around the edges of her vision, she managed to spot the table right in front of her, technically below her.

There was more food. Cakes. Unfortunately that was typically the last meal of any given day. But it was more food, and that was always good. Lyra opened her mouth, as one after the other the remarkably tall towers of sugar and gingerbread and chocolate and frosting and more ingredients Lyra had never bothered to learn the names of were shoved into the fat unicorn's mouth. She was oddly similar to a worm in the way she ate, swallowing by contractions of her cheeks and neck.

Finally, the last piece of food in the room entered the mare's gargantuan gullet with an audible pop. Lyra then looked at the empty plates before her, an almost sad expression on her face. Not that it was easy to tell, given how all the fat on her cheeks and brow hid the motions of the muscles beneath. The guards began to clean the place, while the unicorn sat as motionless as always. A new group of ponies had already entered the room, ready for the next part of the Maiden of Morsels's daily routine.

The sun had fully disappeared below the horizon, and, as always happened, Lyra began to feel something. Something that wasn't good, which was quite a strange sensation to her. Her life was supposed to be nothing but hedonistic self-indulgence after all. Still, the sensation came. Something on top of the fullness, different and yet related. A consequence of it, though the lardy mare wouldn't accept there being negative consequences to her actions and inactions.

Her stomach was stuffed to the brim and quite a bit past that, bloated to a massive size by all the food she'd ingested. Unfortunately, the layers of fat around it and the skin around those were already stretched, and the added expansion from a day's worth of continuous eating led them to be pulled painfully taut. Lyra began to whine in monosyllabic wails, her cheeks too fat and tired for her to speak properly at that moment.

Swiftly, the guards around her snapped to their assigned positions. They carried oils and creams and towels, and quickly they began to rub and soothe the green unicorn's overstretched skin. They applied the oils in circular motions, massaging her fat folds with their hooves and making sure they didn't accidentally pull on the skin. They took particular care of the stretch marks that appeared where her massive stomach bulged out from beneath the layers of her fat.

They took turns when their legs grew tired, spending minutes caring for the gargantuan glutton and easing away the stress of her condition. Their hooves had a tendency to sink into the lardy mass of the unicorn, her body quite unlike that of any other pony or living creature at that point. It was almost like playing with wet sand or pudding, or those little trinkets for foals made from balloons filled with flour, but softer. Pure pony fat, enough that it could have engulfed an alicorn.

Pegasi buzzed busily around the minty mare's overgrowth body, taking care of her back and the upper slopes of her fat. Though some corners of her were reserved for the unicorns. There where the rolls curved and portions of the skin remained hidden. Other ponies feared getting stuck in there, so magic was used instead to reach those areas. It was rather a good thing that Lyra couldn't move, because it would have been quite an unfortunate occurrence for any creature in her path. And she wouldn't have been able to spot any, her head too buried by her own fat.

Pleased sounds of relaxation escaped the impossibly fat pony's mouth, as she let herself go to the rush of being tended to so fully. From the painful stretching of her skin came the delightful feeling of being freed from that stress, being carried away from that troubling sensation. The wonderful moment where her needs were taken care of and her desires fulfilled, leaving her in absolute bliss, needing nothing more and simply basking in the calm and peace of her situation.

Lyra's heavy eyelids slid halfway down as she lost herself to the beauty of the sensations around her. Filled to the brim with food, stuffed so full it was stretching her body, but her skin was cared for and massaged. Pleasurable fulfilment both inside and outside, and nothing she needed to do about it. Other ponies needed to walk or work or have lives, she just needed to open her mouth and eat the food carried to her, then close it and let the guards take care of her body.

Her fat and heavy frame leaned forward slightly, not enough to shift her off balance of course, and her front legs moved to rest a little more limp at her sides. The hooves were hard to spot if one didn't look from the right angle, engulfed in the mass of her folds, and the same was even more true for her hind legs. Her face, too, was on its way to disappear into her neck, which itself had already become just an extension of her incredibly huge and rotund torso.

The unicorn's eyes closed a little further. A pleased smile on her face, she let herself drift into the blissful numbness of needing nothing to be happy, and quickly fell asleep. The guards around her kept working a little further, making sure to finish the job, then retired. Last to exit the room was Bon Bon, who lovingly kissed her wife's fat before walking out. She closed the door behind herself, leaving the Maiden of Morsels to sleep in the room until the next day, when the cycle would begin anew.