Bottled Up

by Blacketh

First published

After Starlight Glimmer messes up, she decides to go back on old techniques to hide her feelings.

After Starlight messes up the show enough times, Trixie decides to temporarily cut Starlight out of their magic act. Starlight goes to old methods to hide her emotions.

Chapter One: The Show

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As Trixie stood on the stage, hooves in the air for all of Ponyville to gaze their eyes wondrously at, she couldn't help but feel like she was on top of the world.

She certainly felt like that – for the first time in her life, everything was fitting perfectly in place. For one, there was no more evil, threatening to envelop Equestria into hell.

And there's also the fact that nopony was trying to exile Trixie from Ponyville for some innocent showing-off, and Trixie couldn't help but grumble at the memory.

But what was most important was that she finally had somewhere to live instead of her worn-down wagon.

She had been residing in Twilight's castle ever since Starlight invited Trixie into her life (as her marefriend). Trixie couldn't say that she wasn't hiding her feelings, because that was what she was doing for most of their friendship – so Trixie was ever so grateful when Starlight proposed the idea first.

And now they were together. Trixie's life couldn't be any better with Starlight by her side.

So feeling Starlight's presence on the stage was just the most relaxing feeling she could harbour. She was sure she'd fail the show completely if her Starlight was any closer.

It was just another show for Trixie: another performance where Trixie gets to show off how great and powerful she truly was; another performance where she can amaze the crowds with her magic; another show where she bask in the embrace of her Starlight backstage.

"Now watch as my Great and Powerful assistant..." Trixie exclaimed with the goofiest grin on her face, as she turned to face Starlight.

However, the said pony was (unsurprisingly) too distracted to pay any attention to the awaiting audience. Starlight was too busy marvelling and watching with adoration at the blue pony and her new costume.

Starlight had made it all herself, as a "thank you for being my marefriend" gift.

Trixie would've found this gesture endearing – her assistant paying absolutely no attention to the show, just to gawk at the Greatness and Powerfulness which she was, but the number of times which Starlight dozes off was almost reaching the double-digits... and Trixie really needs her bits.

The blue unicorn forced a chuckle, as she sheepishly looked at the audience, "Haha, this is normal circumstances from my Great and Powerful Starlight!"

After a few more seconds of nervous and awkward laughter with no avail, Trixie sighed dejectedly, as she got off her stand, slowly trodding towards the pink unicorn; the audience grew more and more restless.

"Are ya kiddin' me?" An extremely restless Applejack in the crowd moaned amongst the incessant chatter, "Nows the fifth show tha' Starlight's been-"

"Starlight!" Trixie screamed, finally catching the attention of the day-dreaming girl, who jerked away unconsciously.

"Ah!" Starlight winced, before being dragged backstage by her girlfriend, letting out a much louder and longer lament along the way.

The crowd of ponies stood silently.

"Wow, Trixie must be really annoyed by Starlight, so she'll tell Starlight to stop being her assistant for a week, and then Starlight will beg Trixie to keep her as her assistant, and then Trixie will be like sorry, and then Starlight is going to be REALLY depressed for the rest of her life, and then Starlight will die."

Everyone stared at Pinkie Pie.


"Please Trixie! I promise it won't happen again-"

"I'm sorry."

Trixie said it with her words completely adamant, as a guilty Starlight Glimmer stared at the floor – a complete ten minutes of being told off by Trixie was not what she expected when the blue pony had pulled her backstage.

The pink pony's crestfallen mood didn't go unnoticed by Trixie – Starlight usually wasn't silent for this long, and the depressed look which she had on her face wouldn't stop bugging Trixie's poor heart. "Hey Starlight... best marefriends?"

She held out a hoof, but when Starlight dejectedly walks away, she couldn't help but feel like the most awful marefriend in Starlight's life.

She thought everything was going fine!

She also thought that Starlight would take her harsh and despicable words which oozed from her mouth, forcing Starlight to not be her assistant for the next week, just as fine... maybe it wasn't that harsh and despicable, but the words must've felt like that to her Starlight!

Trixie felt awful. She looked down just as guiltily as Starlight when she nearly destroyed the entirety of Celestia multiple times.

Starlight was alone, possibly fretting about how badly she messed up for Trixie! And, even worse, now Trixie was alone too; there was nopony to congratulate her, or give one of the sweet pecks on the lips after the show is over. Trixie didn’t even know it was possible to feel so alone in her life.

As her head stooped lower and lower, the murmurs of the audience grew more and more sporadic. In an instant, Trixie’s ears perked up, as she rapidly blinked away her tears.

Oh Celestia... the show!

But there was her marefriend too!

Trixie wouldn't usually think twice about running to someone's aid, especially when it is comforting someone like Starlight, but she has a show to perform though, and not to mention that she was somewhat mad at that pink beauty.

And if she hated anything, it was picking between her cutie-mark and her once-in-a-lifetime pony. The choice was infuriating.

In the moment, she quickly grabbed the wizard hat, and placed it back on her head; she tried her hardest to calm down and breathe, but all she could think was her Starlight. ’Sorry Starlight, I'm going to give you the biggest hug after this show’.

As the curtains drew back for the second time, Trixie couldn't help but worry. Her Starlight was no longer here to comfort her with her presence.

She felt truly alone. Nopony was here to hug her now...

She helplessly stared at the sky, and she couldn't help but whisper "I love you Starlight”.


Oh Celestia, did she love Starlight.

Chapter Two: Too Many Emotions

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Starlight eyes fixated on the scenery around her, as she tried containing her growing temper. Yet the thoughts of the show couldn't help but spoil her thoughts.

She wasn't just embarrassed and hurt. She was furious.

Normally Starlight could control her emotions – she WAS the special pony who kept a cheery, innocent face while she enslaved an entire village – but it reaches a tipping point when it's your own marefriend who casually breaks your heart in two.

Her blatant angriness was so empowering, that everything she set her eyes would suffer under her powerful, distressed feelings which twisted her insides (such as the fence which almost snapped under Starlights conflict).

As she slammed her hooves down the narrow pathway to her home, scowling angrily at anypony who spared a chance to look at the dishevelled mess which she was, she took a moment to relapse the previous events – and why her emotions had grown so out of control...

Trixie

Her heart wrenched at the name, and she shut her eyes in a pang of emotions. Of course all this had to stem from Trixie...

She was furious that Trixie had the nerve to take her rights away like that.

She was also furious at the crowd of ponies, which wouldn't ever be content with one pony gushing over the other.

But she couldn't be madder at anyone than herself.

Starlight's legs wobbled suddenly, as the sudden revelation slowly sent shocks through her body. What was she thinking? In the years they were together, Starlight had never seen Trixie look so... disappointed in her.

And the way Trixie tried to reconcile with her, holding a hoof out for Starlight to latch onto. The same hoof Starlight completely dismissed, and the same hoof which Starlight was hoping to be wrapped around her petite frame. What was she thinking?Why didn't she even apologise?

"What am I even doing, blaming others for all my mistakes.." Starlight unhappily moaned, as she trudged slowly towards the palace.

As the thoughts of what happened tonight flowed through her mind like an overflowing jet-stream, Starlights conflicted emotions dissipated into more sorrow and more dejection. She sighed unhappily as she walked inside Twilight's castle; her constant thoughts of Trixie making her unhappier and unhappier.

Starlight's steps got more agitated and her movements become more splintered – she couldn't feel any more miserable!

There was no doubt that Trixie was feeling just as miserable – It was evident the way Trixie's eyes simply refused to even look at Starlight's, and the complete shame in Trixie's dilated pupils the few times Trixie did look made Starlight feel like the worst marefriend in all of Equestria).

"Hey Starlight!" Twilight quickly appeared from library, a book hovering by her side, as she bounced jovially towards the distressed mare.

Starlight simply ignored her mentor, as she carried on trudging herself towards her bedroom. Twilight didn't seem to notice any difference; she carried on hopping (with a bigger grin on her face).

"Why're you home so early?" Twilight asked, "The show hasn't finished yet, right?"

At the mention of the show, Starlight huffed angrily. She simply walked faster, trying her hardest to avoid the conversation with Twilight. Her room was just in sight, just a few more steps...

Being absolutely indifferent to Starlight’s reclusiveness, Twilight continued to walk – albeit without the excessive hopping. The strange lack of response from her friend started to worry her; she tried one last time.

“Starlight, am comfused,” She put on a voice, trying to make the other mare laugh to no avail, “Is this about Trix-”.

Repressed emotions started to flare up inside Starlight, as she unconsciously pushed Twilight away from her using her magic. Twilight was too shocked for words.

Starlight quickly entered her room, indiscreetingly slamming the door, as she let out the whine she had been holding onto for the longest time. Oh Trixie...

Starlight stared emotionlessly at the empty room, feeling more and more claustrophobic without Trixie's warmth engulfing her.

"The bed is good enough," she lied.

Trixie was the best warmth, and she knew it as soon as she and the bed reached contact, "Oh Celestia... what have I done?"

This was definitely not how the day was supposed to go! Trixie and Starlight were supposed to perfect the show; then they could go backstage and let out their hoofmade fireworks; then they would return to their bedroom... and then...
She facehoofed herself. Why did she have to make Trixie upset like that? Now their entire day was ruined!

What must Trixie be thinking? Was she upset too? Or maybe she's angry... maybe she's furious?

Starlight seized hold of the pillow adjacent, and screamed into it – before putting it over her head in deep frustration. She hadn't been this angry since Trixie made her bottle up her emotions!

She felt terrible. Trixie probably hates her! She had solely messed up her final show for this season, before her twelve hour hiatus to her next show next season! Trixie's probably rethinking their entire relationship as she speaks!

God, Starlight feels like she could hate herself right now.

Thank Celestia she isn't bottling her feelings of self-worth, and her suppressed feelings of believing that she's failed Trixie.

Oh no

She was bottling them.

Starlight jumped off the bed like Pinkie Pie on a sugar rush, as she sprinted towards the decorated mirror; her eyes danced around her appearance, scoping for any light red hue.

There was no light red.

Yet there was dark red coming from her horn – they were the largest crimson swirls she had ever seen; the inferno raging on her head weren't even comparable to the first incident.

Starlight's mouth dropped to the floor, as her body started to shake with fear and anxiety. A jumbled mess of words quickly rushed of her mouth as a silent scream.

Starlight knows how to handle this! But she doesn't have Trixie as her moral support! Oh Celestia... this whole problem stems from Trixie!

This wasn't good... this wasn't how this was supposed to go at all.

It was supposed to be cheery – Today was supposed to be the greatest day in their entire relationship. Nothing like this!

Starlight curled down to the floor in a fetal position, as the emotions took control of her. What can she do now?

CHAPTER 999: STARLIGHT DIES

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Starlight was pacing like a wild pony who’s heart was breaking because her girlfriend was like ‘You can’t be in my show anymore’, as she paced like a wild pony.

”I am so sad,” she whined like a wild pony.

Then Starlight saw the red smoke from her horn, “Oh no,” she said.

Starlight started trying to eat the smoke, but the laws of physics disabled her inner wishes. She started to cry again like a wild pony. “I suffer,” she whispered like a wild pony.

Then Trixie came inside the bedroom, “Hi Starlight” she said.

“Hi Trixie” Starlight responded.

“How’s your day?” Trixie asked, like an unwild pony.

“Good, thank you,” Starlight said, like a wild pony.

“Okay that’s good” Trixie said.

“I know,” Starlight said.

“Yes,” Trixie said

“Mmhm,” Starlight said.

THEN STARLIGHT DIED.

“Aww,” Trixie said as she put her hat on, leaving the no-longer-wild pony in their bedroom

“Yep,” Starlight croaked.

“Eyup,” Trixie suddenly changed her formation into Big Macintosh.

“This entire time I have been making out with Big Macintosh?” Starlights eyes widened 👁👁

“Eyup” Big Macintosh said.

“Well, at least I die with a happy ending,” she whispered one last time. She poofed into white smoke, never to be seen again.