A single night of wandering home can lead to the wildest adventures. Let's be merry and sing the nights away!
Music is moving, music is life, I'm just kind of dicking around here, so who needs some strife? Roll with the punches and make lemonade, excretera excetera lets see if we clear any hunches. I'll talk to some fools, make way through some schools. Let's Go on an Adventure, at this point I'm writing this to be cool.
...Maybe there's something to that Zebra theory...
Chapter 1: A Horse is a Horse, of Course of Course...
"I will burn my dread~"
Music.
It was a major part of my life for as long as I could remember, with it being barely beat out by reading as one of life's greatest joys, in my mind at least. The sheer combination of sounds, rhythms and lyrics played endlessly through my head, and engraved themselves in my being.
Cause that's a thing I did. When I watched a show, read a story, or listened to a song I couldn't put down? I MEMORIZED IT FOR LIFE. Because such pieces deserved to be remembered.
"Shout it out and make it loud~"
Oh! Where are my manners? My Name is Aidan Forshaw, proud writer of a smattering of fanfiction, a novel in the works, and a minimum wage job, this is the beginning of my tale.
"Alright guys! I'm off for the night, see ya later!" I called over my shoulder as I walked out the supermarket with my coat and now empty lunchbox, content with my completed shift and the half-hearted replies of the night-shift guys. Nice guys, but always moved the shit you spent stocking for the past hour and a half.
Still, that was enough thoughts of work for the night, and as I stepped out into the cool Canadian breeze, it was time to start the little habit I had when walking anywhere.
"Knocking all of these screw's loose, going gorillas bananas~"
Of course, I began to sing.
And as the words escaped my mouth, forming small clouds in the air before you, the grin grew a little on my face as I imagined relaxing at home for the night with some good food, and a nice story.
And the next step I took was darkness. The AIr FElt ThicK I wAs falling fallinG what Was happening whowherewhy SONOFABITCH-! "STTTTTTOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" I cried out with all of my being, my lungs feeling as if they were being put in a vice, tight and constrained.
And then it was over.
"W-what?" I whispered, on my back, and feeling more than a little delirious. What the fuck? Was that what being on drugs was like? WHAT THE FUCK HAD HAPPENED!
All I could do was lay there on my back, desperately breathing in more air as I looked up at the night sky.
With each breath, I began to finally feel a little stronger, though still with no clue on just what the hell happened or where you were location wise. Cause wherever, it was, it sure as FUCK wasn't a city.
As my head rolled back and forth through my breaths, all I could see through my clouded vision was trees. Trees and grass. More specifically, a Grassland spotted with trees. Okay. Sure. Why not.
Still, feeling was coming back to my body, which was great, cause nothing beat waking up someplace completely different like waking up somewhere completely different CRIPPLED did.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I was able to get myself up to a sitting position, only to nearly be knocked back again due to a shock, with physics thankfully keeping my centered in my new position.
I...did not have hands anymore. Instead, I had what could only be considered as a nub, shaped like an omega, which, after a moment of staring at blindly, finally connected two with two as a hoof. I swiftly raised my other appendage, and YEP, there's it's twin. I glanced down, and wouldn't you know it, they were quadruplets.
After letting the...I don't think revelation fits, realization of a new reality? Whatever, sink in, I also quickly found a note right beside where my...hoof, had been resting.
It took a moment to decide how to pick it up for a moment, before I realized 'Fuck it' I was a quadruped now, and had no time to be picking anything up yet.
Thankfully, it seemed the paper could at least tell you were DONE with today, being in nice, easily readable English instead of Latin or some other random mind-screw of a language. Small victories, they were there for the taking, right?
Any way, the note, right.
"To Dear Whoever stepped into Intrigue Trap number X-935, thank you for you not-so volunteering for the ROB Entertainment Extravaganza. You, Insert Name Here, have been selected to travel to Check World Here for the entertainment of us higher beings. However, we are not CROBS, and have thus 'Paused' your previous existence to ensure that no such 'angst' can be generated during your continued stay. Have an entertaining life, we are watching.
From,
The Department Of Power-That-Be Enforcement
I kinda wanted to both laugh and cry at the letter, but they turned me into a horse, or at least something equine by what sounds like a clerical office, sooooo there must be some kind of upsides, right?
In any case, I tried to scratch my forehead, only to stop as I reached something before that. It felt thin, and jutted out quite a bit from my upper forehead. Ignoring THAT for a moment though, I was also focused on my first unclouded view of the night sky, with the meager amount of clouds that were there before now having moved away while I was busy worrying about the hooves to pay direct attention.
WELL. THAT'S A FOREBODING THING TO SEE IN THE SKY.
My mind raced, immediately recognizing the lunar body and EXACTLY what it meant.
'Oh, damn it. I'm in My Little Pony now...and I've never actually watched any of the episodes...eh.'
Okay, it was something of a small reaction, but it wasn't exactly my fault. I've read plenty of fanfiction, listened to the songs time and time again, and even brushed up on different things of lore just cause they were interesting. I knew some of the broad strokes that were to come, or had past, which was already a step up from how you lived before, at least when I wasn't getting Deja Vu over things.
Plus, of all the possible worlds to be inserted in, this was one of the best ones to be, parody-verse or not. If it was a reality where Ponies ruled the rest of the species, at least I'd be part of the ruling class. And if it was like the show in any capacity? Well then I was just going to do what I did best and roll with whatever cards I was dealt.
Speaking of things to roll with though...
"I wonder if I can still eat meat, or if it'd be murder or something..."
CHAPTER END
Chapter 2: Thy Accured Name, The One Behind it All
So...okay. My Little Pony... yeah, I could do that.
But some things had be addressed first. First off, my name...Couldn't go by Aidan OR Forshaw, that would just get you attention you didn't want, or rather, the WRONG kind of attention. Which while probably not too bad of a thing, seemed like more trouble than it was worth, especially since its sounds tiresome explaining the difference in literal nomenclature each and every time...
Okay then, names, names....how about...
"Bard Ballad?" It...was a little on the nose, but it certainly wouldn't be the worst choice for you. It fit the naming scheme of your new world, it would be easy to respond to it with enough practice, and it was close enough to a name nearly chosen for you anyway, so it would do, if only as an in-joke. And hey, I was planning on traveling around anyway, so if worse comes to worse, I could just call myself something else anyway. It'd be pretty easy now that you thought about it...
But enough musing and creating of temporary identity forgery!
"Let's try going beyond the clearing to look for water! Don't want to be dying of thirst while looking for civilization." I declared as I started off into a random direction. Anywhere was better than being randomly stuck in one spot after all!
And thus, my adventure into the great unknown began!
...Only to find a small lake after not three minutes of....walking? Trotting? Trotting. Man that would take some getting used to.
Anyway, I wasn't really there to admire the view of the moon reflecting on the calm water's surface (though it was beautiful) No, I was more curious about my current looks. And they were...alright. Definitely something to adjust too.
To start with, the majority of my upper-body was white. Like, pastel picket fence white, not a near silver or anything. In fact, it would probably look a little blond in the light, but that was only a small bit. To contrast this, my legs and a fair bit of my lower half were a deep black, though with a little bit of the white from the top spotting around my leg joints. I also found out that weight on my head was IN FACT, a horn. I would like to say it was around 5 to 6 inches long, with a rather pointed tip, but it could easily be longer or shorter, given how hard it was to judge something on the near top of your head, even with a reflective surface to help. All in all, I looked like a prototype Zebra that someone slapped a stick on...wwwwhhhhhhiiich might be more accurate than I meant it to be given how I was ROBed through pure happenstance.
Oh yeah, I also had a Cutie Mark, or whatever the Male version of it was called. A Handsome Symbol? Whatever, it took a fair bit of finagling to view my own ass or flank or whatever in my new body, ending in me standing in what looked like a combination of downward dog and a chicken preening itself, but I think I got a good enough look at it.
To start with, it was three circles arranged in a triangle formation, with each circle being filled by small cartoonish faces. The bottom left was a wide grin, the bottom right was a deep frown, and the top one held a closed mouth sticking its flat tongue out. And seeing them, you could agree it fit you.
"~The Smiles, they Fill You With Glee~" The tune escaped your lips for a moment before you dunked your face completely under the water, both due to thirst, but more importantly because you toppled over right into the body of liquid with the sudden change in equilibrium you hadn't quite mastered yet.
Still, even through the crystal clear waters as you resurfaced, your grin stood out amongst the white of your face as your brain raced and rationalized the image that supposedly represented 'you'.
The circles arranged in the triangle showed how steady I was in regards to life, or at least what I tried to do, the circles represented how I cycle through the emotions for what suited me best, the smiles themselves were likely reference to the stories that I loved and had shaped me through my life, and even then, the differing faces brought to mind the image of Theater Masks. It fit in a way that shocked me, but also made me feel quite a bit closer to who I really was as a person, no matter the form. After all, in the words of a certain parody...
"It's Sym~boollicc~" I voiced out, the noise crisp against the warm night I held myself in, even as snickers broke through even that as the situation and scenes I was referencing came to mind.
Yeah, you could work with this. Even without the whole 'time-stop' thing going on in your original world, you wouldn't have really worried. What would the point even be. You had...let's call them options to explore here, even if they were vague at best. Still better than what most got, and you could have all the fun you wanted on the way! Probably.
Now that THAT was established though, the real journey was able to begin.
"Now...I don't know where the HFIL I'm going...SO LET'S PICK A DIRECTION!" I-Bard called to the moon, abruptly turning away from the lake and beginning to walk.
"Locked and loaded, don't I know it, oh the moment is right to ignite, let's get going, I'm not waiting, hesitating, So tonight we Roll, Cause I got that Fire in My Soul~"
And of Course, no journey was complete without a soundtrack.
This Tale...Is only Just Beginning.
END OF CHAPTER
Chapter 3: We are Connected, Regardless of Our Beliefs
Soooooo. Been a fair bit since I've dedicated enough thought to really concentrate my thoughts in a way coherent enough to really be worth writing down, for the given measure of 'writing', what with this just being crude etchings in the dirt and trees. Don't judge me, it helps me think.
In any case, I've made a few realizations since my last 'log' into a literal fallen log, but I think they're pretty important.
To start with, picking a random direction in an area you have literally zero knowledge of at night, apparently stronger body equipped with personal stabbing implement not-withstanding, was a terrible plan. Cause of that little decision, I had been walking for over 3 and a half days, which wasn't that bad, what with my new legs being literally built for that, and the random water pools I had found across the plains I was in, cementing my position firmly in or on the edges of some kind of marsh or swamp. It was all thankfully fresh water, and unfortunately led to my second realizations.
While thirst wasn't an issue, food definitely was. So, I did what any equine would do, and grazed on the grass around me. It was...bland wasn't really the right word. It was like eating plain bread, with nothing on it. It wasn't terrible, and it filled the stomach, but it wasn't exactly top-quality either. It made a little curious about what other plants and wheat itself would taste like, and if it had any close comparisons, but those weren't a main concern at the moment, nor something I could test yet without potentially poisoning and or addicting myself.
Any way, getting sidetracked again, and starting to run out of space on this trunk. Onto the next. Sorry Mr.Tree number whatever-now...
Okay. Revelation the third. My horn is actually a horn. As in, it is a sharp, pointed stick placed on my head with the biological capability to stab things before me that need stabbing. Finding that out was kinda fun, cause it involved me fumbling around in the dark and getting my head stuck in a tree like an arrow. Yeah, it supported my weight. Gave me a killer headache though, but it went by pretty quickly. Now, I'm pretty much just using it to carve shapes, words, and general mystical looking symbols into things I pass to fuck with people.
Following this, revelation the fourth. Things grow fucking WEIRD in Equestria, or wherever I am. Like, evolution on steroids. Recalling how ponies needed to control the weather and other 'natural' functions, I'm just labeling this as Spiral Energy and calling it a day as I watch a small chicken literally kick the shit out of a snake that had a claw for a tail, not giving a shit about me.
AND finally, revelation the fifth slash sixth. Meat is still delicious, it's just a matter of whether you SHOULD/ could. Apparently, most ponies and other mammals had at least some form of fish or semi-sentient mushroom in their diet to take care of those pesky proteins, but that freaky evolution thing I talked about? It ALSO effected the species that everyone ate. Some salmon could grow to be STORIES tall, and school's of tuna could become psychic swarm that 'swam' through the air and anything that got in it's way. Like mountains. Some even lived in volcanoes or forests. Really, they were just creatures called 'fish' in this world to me, so I'd try and make up a new word to call them by eventually.
But you, whoever is reading this, are probably wondering how I know all this know, right? Well, that little well of insight comes from my new friend Jim. Slim Jim, to be precise, who was a cow currently grazing in his field over to my right.
Honestly, thank any god who would listen that I came across someone-er, no no, one is right, anyway, it was good to talk to someone and have them respond back. Cause new species or not, humans were very social creatures, and it took a toll to be by yourself in unfamiliar lands. All good now though!
New Tree. Now Not New Tree.
Anyway, Slim Jim, who prefers Jim, had been living in this plain for all his life, as had the last 6 generations of his family. (He seemed really proud of that.) And from there, I found out one of the main reasons Ponies kept cows on farms still is the fact that cows could be described in three short words usually.
Lazy. As. Fuck.
Like, they would choose an area they liked, and stay there. FOREVER. Doesn't matter if it was stricken with drought, floods, or angry tippers, they'd wear through it and keep on chewing. Evidently, the other species just chocked it up as a quirk of the species and just set up their towns and farm whatnot around them. They didn't really care to much, and even got a fair few things out of the deal. Free food, entertainment in the form of conversation with the farmhands, and even getting milked, which could get painful apparently if it was held in for too long.
Evidently, Slim was probably even more lonely than I was, what with how he spewed all these explanations out at me in a continuous stream of syllables. So, in return for a map to the nearest other living being, I promised to spread the word about a set of plains perfect for a farm or whatever so he'd have friends. A fair deal, I thought. Plus the map was actually pretty easy to use, what with it being to be marked by touch and an auto-positioning system inscribed in it. Something about orienting itself on the global axis by the sun's light or something, it went a bit over my head.
But civilization! Soon I'll be able to begin my newly thought plan for amusement and money!
Alright, enough marking nature. See ya'll later inner monologue! And if anyone else is reading this, good fuckin luck tracking me!
End of Chapter
Thoughts? Feelings? Give me some feedback, if you please.
Well! This is back! Sorry about the whole falling of the wagon of it, just started focusing on other things across all these sites and platforms...but now it's back! No idea if anyone even noticed it disappear in the first place, but there ya go.
Still own nothing, still don't claim too, you all know the song and dance by this point. So, let's just move on, shall we?
Sheepattle was a wonderful place filled with answers to questions I never would have thought to ask. Such as 'what continent am I on' or, 'what animal does the local populous consist of?'.
The answer to both, apparently, was Sheep. And Goats, Rams, and apparently a few assorted Ponies and Zebra spread in the mix. Most didn't travel far enough to reach Sheep lands, but the few that did were generally either pretty hardy or there for specific reasons.
I was neither of those things, but that didn't stop me, with good cheer, a smile on my face, and no small amount of songs from busking my way through the city right into a fairly nice hotel and library visit.
The local history book read like it was half a DnD manual, and half a transcribed documentary, so it was certainly better than the dry bundle of papers I had been expecting. But it was still a long read that took a few days, and could absolutely do with a summation from an outsider with only bare interest in it.
What it basically boiled down to, keeping in mind what I specifically cared about at the moment, The Sheep Continent was directly above the borders of Equs, where the Ponies lived smack dab in the 'center' of the world as a trade conglomerate to the surrounding capitals and populous. Through them, wood and high quality items such as specialty furnaces and gemstones were sent North, and in return the Sheep keep Gravity nice and tight against the planet.
Yeah....that took a moment to comprehend. Evidently, all Races had some kind of inherent magic to them that they could do better than others. Ponies shifted depending on where their magic pointed, Zebra's could preform advanced rituals and spell 'shortcuts' with rhymes, and Sheep were all about that push and pull.
They were even ruled by their Alicorn equivalent, called the Overgoat, and had been for the past hundred or so years now. Not a long time by the standards of immortals, but the position itself seemed oddly strange, and kind of shocking.
Long ago, in the 'Age of Darkness' because giving exact dates would just be so much work, the Sheep continent was ruled with an iron hoof by one Grogar, the First Overgoat.
I also recognized the name from all the fanfiction featuring inserts into said goats life, but felt that those PROBABLY weren't totally accurate to the current circumstances. Still took note, but not much beyond it.
So, anyway, Grogar wasn't really happy with just one land under his yoke, so he set his sights on the land directly below.
Only problem? He got met with sword and shields hot as the sun and quiet as the night. His forces were routed, and the goat barely escaped back up north as a bleeding wreck. But the thing about ruling a nation cruelly and with zero mercy?
You tend to get annexed real quickly if they notice any sign of weakness in their oppressor. So they took advantage of his injured state. RUTHLESS, advantage.
Sheep and everyother race they could get to join in piled on the magic, forcing so much raw pressure and magic into one space that the Overgoats horns were shore clear off, and his body was reduced to a single pinprick which they sealed in a box with magic-draining chains, and then dropped in the deepest ocean they could find, an enchantment to make sure it could never float to the surface again.
Evidently, they had put a LOT of thought into how to get rid of Grogar. Who knew?
But, right, Overgoat. Basically, having THAT much magic exposed to something physical leaves a mark, so the horns he left behind are now kept as a symbol of office, as well as a massive multiplier to whatever Goat, Sheep, or Ram' magic to wears it, selected by popular vote to try and ensure that they don't get another power-starved dictator in charge. They also kept the name just as a final spite to the bastard, so that was a fun bit of trivia.
And, now, they keep the planet turning and grounded as they should in the last few years, the end. Of where I care.
At the very minimum, it helped me make up my mind on leaving this place as quickly as I could. Rather not float off into space and all.
But that was all when and good, I had money I could have been making in the moment after all.
"Oh, it's the green, it's the green, it's the green that I see~" I hummed to myself as I straightened out the hair around my horn, casually messy but still good enough to not stick out. MAN, finally bathing made me feel like a person again!
