Free Pussy Card

by B_25

First published

This is something worth listening to, baby, so clean those ears while you still can. Name's Spike. Attractin' chicks is my mission in life. Nothing else gets me pumped. But slaying the Princess of Love in bed? That's another level entirely, my friend

This is something worth listening to, baby, so clean those ears while you still can. Attractin' chicks is my mission in life. Nothing else gets me pumped. But slaying the Princess of Love in bed? That's another level, my friend.

Alright, alright! I hear you crying, baby, about what Mr. Shining Armor thinks of all this. Don't sweat a thing, doll face. That bro set all of this up. Felt bad about banging his wife when it wasn't his wife—changeling can do that to a dude.

Now he wants the score between them evened out. Trusts me to do the job. Can I live up? Always, baby.

Great Time for One Use

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Free Pussy Card
B_25

Look. I ain't complicated, baby. There's other guys who can give you a run for your money with their fancy thoughts. But you wanna know something? Thoughts sound like farts, and that's exactly what I think of em.

So when I got the envelope? I didn't think much of it. Heck, I wasn't thinking at all, baby! It was pink and soft and unharmed by my fire. I was laying on my bed when it came, and once I opened the baby up, I learned that wasn't the only coming that was about to be happening.

I really ain't foolin' you either. In my claw, the envelope was addressed to me, sent from Princess Cadence herself. When it came to the title, it was short, sweet, and something else that starts with an 's' 'cause learning alliterations is silly play, baby.

But what did the title read, you ask?

Free Pussy Card.

And that's all I bothered reading.


“Train. Get me to the Crystal Empire. I need to see about some free pussy.”

The mare looked at me like how mares usually look at dragons: scared and fearing for her life. She actually turned into a bro when I told her my situation. Held a bat of some sorts behind the counter for assurance. Told her I didn't mind the foreplay at all.

Though she went and put a damper on the mood a bit. Told me the last train shot out from base hours ago. Told me it was midnight. I didn't believe her at first, but when I gazed up into the night sky, I had no choice but to become a believer, baby!

I get it. Really do. What's a dragon gonna do at a train station for a number of hours he couldn't even count? Easy, baby: the answer is to start running. Didn't even bother to say goodbye to the mare.

I'd jumped off the station and onto the tracks, looking left and then right, wondering which way led to Crystal-whatever-the-fuck. Tried sniffing the air, hoping to catch a whiff of Cadences' scent, though all I smelled was my own cologne.

“No way this late night rendezvous is ending here.” I pinched my chin and tapped my foot to the wood of the tracks. “Gotta be a way of gettin' to that empire from here. Just need to... think... for... eh.”

I refused to think about anything that wasn't mares. They were perfect in every way, some fluffy, some sexy, few willing to put up with me, fewer willing to shack up with me. Hey-eh-hey! That's it, baby!”

Reaching into the pouch I'd tied to my side, I pulled out that letter, slipping the card to safety. Holding the envelope up, I pictured the Crystal Empire, Princess Cadence in her bed, waiting for me, with the sheets half up.

And then I blew my load—I mean my flame all over that envelope. With a smirk, I watched it as it turned to smoke, trailing along over my shoulder, floating toward the horizon. Then I gave that baby some chase.

After all, I needed to be in shape when I met the Princess of Love in bed.


I was out of breath on arriving at the Crystal Empire.

I'd fallen out of breath plenty of times before. Sun was nearly coming up behind me when I got to the stupid place. I needed to take a break before I took the princess by her behind. Looking by the area in front of the castle, there was a neat bench I could crash on.

Though I couldn't crash alone.

There was some babe hunched over there. I scratched the back of my neck, wondering if there was time to get a number before I saw the princess, though any thoughts like that died once I heard sobs echo into the air.

Shaking my head, I walked over to her. “Hey, baby? What's with the tears?”

It was one of those crystal ponies with the rockin' sleek bodies. Brown all over with a blond mane. Kinda basic looking, but the blue glow of her eyes put my heart into a sway. Taking a seat next to her, I made sure to keep my head lower than her's.

“He cheated on me!” The mare stole a glance at me for a second, before slamming her eyes into the center of her upheld hooves. “The jerk cheated on me! Another mare right in my bed! Told me I was boring and basic after he shut the door!”

“Tch, the jerk!” I threw my claw into the air. “So whaddya say back? Call him a slow grower and slower learner?”

“I did what then what I did now!” She cried. “I cried!”

She was doing a lot of that. To tell you the truth, I didn't like it when a mare does a whole lot of crying, especially when some jerk is the cause of it. That's not how romance works at all, baby! Stallions and mares were made to have a good time together! Nothin' more and nothin' less.

Heck. Mare and mares could have just as good a time—I ain't one to judge!

“Crying won't resolve anything, sweet thing.” I brought my claw to her chin, lifting it ever so slightly, being careful about my sharpness. “You're much too pretty to be wastin' all the make-up.”

“Make-up doesn't stop me from being basic, idiot!” The mare shook her head from my soft hold. “Admit it! You thought the same thing once you saw me!”

“Well of course I did, baby.” I flashed her a smile. “I'm a guy with a one-track mind! You may have the look of being basic, but trust me, honey, you got so much more rockin' for you than that.” I pointed a talon down. “Have you checked out your booty in the mirror lately? Because that thing is breaking the bench!”

Her cheeks flared up in pink. She looked like she wanted to either slap me or thank me.

“And trust me on this one, confidence in a gal will drive a guy wild.” I pounded a claw against my chest. “You can't put up with a jerk willin' to say terrible things like that. Mare with your booty deserves better than that.” I gave her a thumbs-up. “So stand up straight, sway your hips, and reject the first guy that asks.”

I finally got the mare to giggle at that one. Don't tell any of the mares, but I giggled alongside her, feeling my high beginning to die.

“So... by that logic,” the mare said once her laughter was done, “I should be rejecting you right now?”

“Trust me, baby, guys like me ain't worth your time.” I sat up from the bench, offering her a final smile. “Chest out and booty out. Knock em dead then drag em back to bed.”

The mare laughed, and I turned around, then us two party animals went our separate ways.


“You can't be serious with me right now.” I held the card up to the guard's eyes, resting it on the metal plating of his muzzle. “Can't you read? It says free pussy. Not for you, of course." I blinked a few times. “Surely that gives me a VIP pass into the castle, right?”

The stupid guard kept standing still. He already had his spear blocking the door to the castle.

“I hate little guys like you.” I shook my head. “Couldn't get laid for you joined the ranks. Can't you help a brother out? You may not have been able to score, baby, but there's still a chance for this rockin' dragon!”

Guard didn't budge an inch.

“Ponies call me a hero around these parts.”

Guard didn't budge an inch.

“Saved the world a few times. Helped, of course.”

If this guard didn't much, then my bulge wouldn't grow an inch.

“Spike? Oh, Spike!”

I shook my head. “What the heck?”

I stepped back a few, out into the courtyard like area of the castle, staring up one of its pillars. Cadence had her cute little muzzle poking out from some window. She was dressed up a bit, and in all the right ways—blue bowtie and red earrings, baby!

“Long time no see, dollface!” I leaned to the left, holding a claw to my hip. “You write for a good time! 'Cause baby, your whole package is standing outside!”

Cadence giggled from above. “Spike! You're so silly.”

“Only because you mares are so pretty.” I glanced down and gestured to the guards. “So how about you work that mare magic on these rigid guards? I'm no good to you cold, baby!”

Cadence shook her head and rolled her eyes. “That kind of tongue will wind you up in prison.” She smiled down at me anyway, then glanced at the stallions. “Guards! Let the dragon pass. He's my guest for the night.”

The two stallions looked at each other, then me, and with a blink, they step aside. I waved the princess off as I started walking forward, smirking as the stallions bowed their head. I'd walked past them a few feet into the castle before I realized something.

“If you boys finish being lame once the work is done,” I said, without looking over my shoulder, “then there's a mare at the park ahead. Cute with a huge booty. Needs the nice kind of guy to treat her right.”

I didn't even bother hiding my smirk when I heard their armor start to shift. There was my one good deed for the night done before dawn—now was time to entitle myself to something more on the naughty side.

That's why I thought of Cadence while I went up the stairs of the pillar. Nopony could deny that Shining Armour had a banging wife—lone mane with a short muzzle, eyes full of purple and wonder, all with a pink coat fluffy and trimmed all at the same time.

And her booty! Mare knew what she had and how to use it. Two supple flanks of wonder and mystery of how so much could be packed into so little. I wasn't above dreaming about her rump from time to time—admiring how they could sway to subtly but weigh so much.

The heck was I doing? Blowing my load before the show? Only a fool would pull that move. No. I kept myself in line after crossing that final step, walking into the main hall of the castle. Coming in place, I scratched my head for a second, unsure of where I was supposed to go.

But the giggles? The ones coming from down the right of the hall? They told me and my cock exactly where I should be going. Cool it, Spike. Play smoothly here. You are about to bang the cutest princess that ever lived. Don't fuck this up before you can get your fuck on.

So I played it cool. I walked to the door, pausing before it, feeling for my spines and making sure they were straight. Then I banged a fist against the door, once, twice, then thrice. Movement shuffled from beyond. I leaned against the hinges.

And then the door opened. And then Princess Cadence stepped into the hall, body half out, her muzzle at height with my crotch. Don't think dirty, Spike. Don't think dirty until things got dirty, baby! That's the way to do it.

“Hey baby, so I got a card with your name on it.” Without breaking contact with her velvet eyes, I reached into my pouch and pulled out the card. “Said I could redeem it here with the exception of inside you. That true?”

Cadence giggled. “We figured you'd enjoy that phrasing?”

“We?” I repeated. “Baby, this ain't a trap, is it? I may look tall and strong, but make no mistake: your husband can stick my tail where the sun doesn't shine in under three moves.” I exhaled heavily. “And the first two are just for show.”

“You have nothing to worry about from my husband,” Cadence said, stepping aside. “He's the one who set all of this up. But please, Spike, come inside.”

I wasn't about to tell a babe like Cadence no, so I walked in, unprepared for an ambush, but accepting of one all the same. When I walked past the door, Cadence followed a few step behinds, flicking her tail against the door.

I heard it close with a click.

“Your room seems safe enough.” I looked around: big bed, soft rug, and posters all about. “Little girly for a mare like you.” I turned around to face her. “Sure this is your room?”

“Spent most of my life in here, so yeah, I'm sure.” Cadence nodded her head to the bed. “Why don't we go sit on there for a while and talk? I'm sure you have a few questions you're dying to ask.”

“Baby, the only thing killing me are those stocking.” Cadence was a babe! Even as she walked in front of me, there was a sway to her rump, her flanks jiggling ever so slightly from the movement. “But there are a few things I gotta ask before I see you out of them.”

So we took a seat on the side of the bed and were silent for a bit. Cadence really was lovely though. Regal yet approachable. She was leagues above me, with the mane and the face and the body and pretty much everything about her. None of us knew why she settled with a brick like Shinning to begin with.

“I know this is a tough opener, Spike,” Cadence began, “but do you remember what happened at the Royal Wedding well?”

“Crazy chick took your body and tried to ruin your curves,” I replied. “We stopped her in the end, though. Me mostly. Nopony alive is allowed to disrespect your curves, baby.”

“And I'm very glad you feel that way,” Cadence giggled at my silliness but ended up looking away a second later. “But not everypony was quick to figure that imposter out. Shiny least of all.”

“He do something to hurt you?”

“Shiny? No.” Cadence shook her head. “Nothing that he meant to do. When he was with my imposter, there were... a few acts he committed with her that sadden me a little.” Her muzzle dipped an inch. “But nothing I hold against him.”

“He did the dirty with another girl?”

“He did the dirty with another girl.”

I sighed. “Sorry to hear that, Cadence.”

“Now don't you go sweating anything yet.” Cadence turned over to me, smirking as she did so, braining her forehooves onto the bed. “Shiny may have made a mistake, but it wasn't his fault, so I don't hold it against him.” She arched her back along the bed, ready to pounce. “It's him that holds it against himself.”

“I would too,” I replied. “Letting a babe like you down is a let-down that's hard to let down.”

“Which is why he suggested a little game of revenge.” Cadence crawled across my lap, almost like a cat, feeling her belly coming to a rest on my thighs. “Wanted to even the score, so to speak, with a guy we could both trust.”

“I wouldn't trust those dragon folks.” I reached for her mane, tracing a thick, silky strand with a talon. “They're greedy monsters, baby, that do a whole lot of taking.”

“Good thing I need a whole lot of taking tonight.” Cadence bent her head forward, exposing the back of it to me. “Think you can scratch that spot for me? You know the one, hot stuff.”

“Cadence, you really are a lucky mare.” I brought my claw up to her ears, carefully scratching the back of one, feeling it perk up at my increasing pressure. “Lucky that I don't tell the world you're just one big sexy cat. You going to meow for me?”

Cadence smirked. “Don't tempt me, dragon boy.”

We kept like that for a bit. Foreplay was important in a situation like this and, to be honest, I was way out of my zone. Hooking up with a married mare has always been a big fat no—unless its the Princess of Love and she promises she's got a good reason for me.

That didn't stop this gig from being weird, though. It was weird that Cadence of all mares reacted the most positive to my way of speaking and acting. A refined girl like her would usually laugh at a kid like me.

Maybe that's why she liked me so much? We were kids learning how S and E and X banged together to spell SEX. She could be as silly as me without worrying about a thing. It was fun to be silly every once and a while—no matter the pony or the time.

“Alright, that's enough warm up.” Cadence looked up at me, the corner of her eye obscured by the wall of her mane. “From this moment on, you have me until the sun comes up. Shinning wanted me to get even with a guy we could both trust, and to be honest, now's my only time to score with a dragon in this life.”

“No compliments about my personality?”

“You mean the show that you put on?” Cadence said. “Charming, but it has its limits.” She offered me a smile. “Shinning is trusting you to show me a good time. He feels bad about cheating on me accidentally, so you're the one that's going to make us all feel good.”

“Does that mean I can touch your ass?”

Cadence rolled her eyes. “You can do a whole lot more than that, Spike.”

Now the show was really getting started! Cadence was still lying over my thighs. Her back was fully exposed. Bribing my talon down from her ear to back, I traced it along her spine, feeling her body shift, enjoying the brush of fur underneath my touch.

Then I reached her flanks. It was hard for me to touch them! All this time thinking about them, imaging them, pretending to feel them only to start doing the real thing! There was no backing out now, not until her back had filled out between my talons.

And that's what I did. I let my claw drop down onto her rump, feeling it jiggle from my impact, enjoying how my talons sunk into the softness. It wasn't enough to just cop a feel. I squeezed my claw on her cheek, feeling it fill out between my talons, impressing against my palm.

“Mmmhmm, Spike!” Cadence lowered her head and closed her eyes. “More.”

I was more than happy to comply. Bringing my other claw to her cheek, slapped it gently with my palm, a pleasant smack resounding into the air, all while I watched the flank jiggle into place. Before it could do that, though, I captured the rump into my claw. I tilted my head back at how soft and firm it felt against my scales.

“Is that all you're going to do?”

“Not by a long shot, baby.”

I kept working at her plot like I would never get to experience it again for the rest of my life. Rolling the softness up and down, pressing in to feel it fill out, all to deliver a slap that made it shake all over again.

And she was getting into it, too. Cadence still had her eyes closed, but now her head was tilted back, moaning at my ministration, at how my talons scratched at all the right places, unrelenting in certain places only to fall away, which made her gasp when they quickly struck back again.

But soon even I got tired with her plot—at least for now. Deciding to be cheeky, I sneaked my arms underneath her barrel, brushing against her fur as I took hold of her body, and before she could think to yelp, flipped her onto the bed.

Cadence didn't have time to do or say anything once her back rebounded against the sheets. Her wings had unfurled slightly from her sides. Sitting on my knees, I brought one on either side of her body, placing my weight just above her stomach, placing her in place.

“If it's all right with you, baby.” I lowered my body against her own, our chests touching, our muzzles inches apart. “I'd like to redeem that card now.”

“Aren't you a big boy now?” Cadence giggled with a smirk, leaning up to kiss my cheek. “But are you big enough to take what's between my legs? Because I don't think you've worked for it yet, Spikey.

“You're playing a dangerous game using that nickname.” I leaned down and took her lips, closing my eyes while I did so. They were smaller than most mares, a thin layer of fur and skin, but with much more life to them than I'd experience on any other.

Cadence was an expert on love for a reason. She was tiny but compact. Her lips worked at mine with precision—nibbling on my lips when it was open, meshing against my own in perfect synchronization, sometimes leaving a little less so I would go chasing for more.

Really, that was Cadence summed up: a mare that made you want to go chasing after her. She didn't have to do much in that regard, baby. She was taking at my lips strong and fast. For such a little mare, I wasn't sure I could keep up.

We started to moan into our kisses, not bothering to break away for breath, our eyes still closed—mine at least, anyway. Even though I had her pinned, Cadence had her forelegs scratching wildly at my chest, like they were searching for something to contain them.

Things got heated when our bodies got into a rhythm. Slowly, I rocked my hips against her underbelly, feeling fur and softness stroke against my crotch. With a sharp moan into our lip-lock, I couldn't help but feel my cock beginning to ache.

“Mmhmm.” Cadence pulled out of the kiss for a second, gazing up at me with half-lidded eyes. “Why does it feel like something heavy is resting on my belly?”

I was too far gone to say anything back. My cock grew, almost painfully, across her stomach, aching desperately from the lack of sensation or touch. Without meaning too, I pressed our bodies together, sandwiching my cock against her stomach. There, I rocked it up to her chest, then back to her stomach, over and over, feeling it impress into her skin, warming it with her fur.

“That's not how you do that, Spike.” Cadence leaned her head back a bit. “Bring it up to me. Let's see if I can do anything to help.”

I wasn't about to reject a blowjob from the Princess of Love herself. I sat back on the bed, freeing the mare. Sitting on my knees, I sat there like an idiot, my cock erect. Cadence rolled onto her stomach, giggling while she did so, crawling on over to me, or rather, between my legs.

“Impressive, Spike.” Cadence lowered her muzzle to underneath my cock, letting it slap gently against her cheek. “I can see why so many mares rave about you.” She stuck out her tongue deviously, licking along the underside of my shaft, pressing harder the closer she came to my tip, stopping an inch before it. “Care to make me one of them?”

It's not often a dragon like me is without words, baby, but banging a princess was bound to leave a guy speechless. Cadence sat up straight, legs slightly parted, tail pinned against anything I'd like to see. Almost made what laid beneath all the more alluring in a way.

Then Cadence winked at me, keeping the same eye closed, but opening her mouth wide in response. She exhaled a warm breath on my head, making it twitch and throb, which felt tortured from being untouched for all so long.

It took me a second to get up properly on my knees, but when I did, Cadence brought her mouth down on my cock, taking a quarter of it inside. At once, her lips sealed around my girth, trapping my length within the confines of her tight muzzle.

And she made sure to look at me the whole time. My cock inside her mouth, Cadence stared up at me with her one eyes, using a hoof to brush her mane behind her ear. Then, both of her eyes closed and her tongue flicked around my head, causing me to clench my claws into fists.

Cadence was good. Good enough to almost make me blow my load then and there. The aching in my cock got a whole lot worse when she took so small of it inside, giving it enough attention to keep it out of pain, but not enough to grant the pleasure it dreamed for.

So you couldn't really blame me when I started to rock my hips. Not enough to harm her, but just slamming the other half into her muzzle, feeling my head poke against the back of her throat. I heard a gag, snapping me from my thrusts. Before I could think to pull out, Cadence slammed her muzzle the rest of the way, letting the silky walls of her throat massage against the length of my cock.

And Cadence was relentless! She'd pull up, leaving only my tip past her lips, urging my hips to flick all before slamming her face into my crotch again. She kept doing it, over and over, again and again, her tongue swirling around my girth, taking flicks at my head whenever she could steal the lick.

My aching only got worse. Worse than any blue ball I'd ever endured in my life. It took every ounce of willpower in me to not take her by the mane, hold her still, and start fucking her throat like there was no tomorrow. But I couldn't do that to a mare—I wasn't about to lose my load when the night was far from over.

Which was why I was sorta glad when she pulled out from me for real. Cadence didn't say anything, only plopping onto her back and spreading her legs, flicking her tail out from the way. I saw it, her tight little pussy, winking in need over at me.

And I complied. Leaning my muzzle between her legs, her thighs came and locked together on either side of my head, making me bury my face into her crotch. She giggled at my touch, at my claws cupping her flanks, squeezing them while I faced her pussy.

The trimmed fur of her vulva was stained already with her cum. Her musk wafted into my nostrils, strong enough to keep my cock erect, all while I got to work on her pussy. My tongue slithered out from between my lips, tracing along the fur of her vulva, collecting her juices.

There was a tremble in her thighs. Always a good sign, baby.

So I doubled my efforts. I let my tongue lick up and down her slit, watching her clit peeking out from under its hood. I smiled. My tongue traced up her slit to her clit, wrapping around the small nub, squeezing it ever so gently while licking at it.

Behind my head, I felt her hind legs kick into the air.

Now was the time to start playing dirty. Bringing my muzzle past her folds, I let my tongue unravel from her clit and disappear inside her pussy, licking along her walls, trying to hit all the places that made her thighs squeeze together just a tad tighter.

I also made sure to rub my snout against her clit from time to time. It was always was a guaranteed thrashing of her body when I timed it right, or when my tongue was busy searching for another weak spot.

“S-Spike...” I heard her panting from across the expanse of her chest, feeling her thighs drop from my head. “I think... that's enough foreplay...”

I couldn't help but agree. I rose from between her legs, coming over her body and stopping at her chest. My crotch brushed against her's. I felt the head of my cock poke between her folds, just waiting to seal the deal.

“Don't keep a girl waiting, Spike.”

I smiled. “Don't plan on it.”

I took her lips again, and at the same time, shoved my cock past her folds, feeling her tight walls take hold of my cock as I shoved myself deep inside her. We both moaned into the kiss. She clenched down along my length, taking every inch of me.

She brought her thighs together the hardest once I was all the way inside. We both moaned into the kiss, even more so when I pulled out again, and slammed myself back inside. I kept doing that, again and again, feeling her tight little pussy take my girth, my length, clenching down on it in stride.

Princess Cadence broke the kiss to throw her forelegs around my body, bringing her muzzle to my neck, biting at my scales while I thrust inside of her. My cock only ached worse when I developed a rhythm to my thrusts, squeezing her flanks hard every time I fully came inside, letting go of them as slowly as I pulled out.

Cadence was biting down harder on my neck, needing an outlet for all the sensations coursing through her body. What could I say, baby, other than I wasn't a complete amateur? As my aching grew worse, despite the pressure of her cunt building around it, I could feel myself passing the breaking point.

“Hey, Cadence?”

She moaned into my neck.

“You getting close?” I squeezed her ass hard, hoping to wake her up a little.

“Don't. Stop.” I chuckled at her reply, squeezing her ass harder, moaning at how supple they were. “Harder, Spike, harder!”

“As you wish.” I fucked her pussy as hard as I could, feeling myself come over to the edge, wondering how she could be so tight and yet take all of me. The welling at the base of my cock was refusing to go away, cracking from how her pussy tightening around it, almost locking it in place.

We moaned each other's names. It was soft after first, quieter than the slap of our thighs, but after a few building rounds, we were soon screaming aloud, both of us ready to finish. Cadence let her head fall back, letting her body be rocked back and forth. She let me have my way for a tad longer until we could take no more.

Locking eyes, we both understood was going to come next, and our lips took to each other again. Without warning, I shoved my cock as deep into her pussy as I could manage, feeling her walls clamp along my length as, finally, the pressure was too much for my cock to take.

I could feel the walls of her pussy stroking against my cock, milking it for all the cum shooting out from my head. The aching faded to an intense bliss that sent me into a deep high, causing me to arch my back as stuck myself a tad deeper inside of her.

And Candace came too. Her angelic voice breaking into an echo across the room. From the lips of her pussy, cum dribbling out, leaking past our thighs and onto the sheets. We kept together to ride our orgasms out, before I fell to the right of her on the bed, panting heavily as my body was drained of everything.

“That... was... one heck of a time... baby.”

I looked over, seeing Cadence laying on her side, who was looking up at me. “ You never get bored saying that, do you?”

“Never in a million years, baby.”