In the afterlife, all one can do is look back at all the possibilities. One pony looks back and sees how things might have turned out had she been a unicorn.
Becoming a pony and a mare wasn't Soren's choice. In the aftermath of his adventure in mental illness and Lyra's tampering with things outside her domain, he is left to pick up the pieces of his—or her, rather—life. Even though she's regained control of her altered body, she must still wrest control of her life by force.
How hard can it be to carve a life of your own in a world you barely know? Fate is a curious thing though... a single major difference can set off a cascade of changes that could make an entirely different pony of me.
This story stands as an alternate sequel to When a Pony Calls, starting roughly from the beginning of the second-to-last chapter of the story. Pre-read by Shachza.
Cover art commission provided by baladeAdvent. If you like his work, I recommend checking out his deviantART or his Tumblr for more of his work.
Since coming to the Elysian Fields, I've spent a lot of time waiting and watching. I've of course been waiting for Ice Blossom to appear, but at the same time, I've had the opportunity to contemplate time itself. See, I know that time doesn't just go in straight lines. While it's also cyclic in nature here in the Hereafter, I also know that in the land of the living, there is a branching timeline for every choice a pony's made. Every single one. I'd definitely know, since one of the unique properties of the sky in the afterlife allows ponies to watch not just their lives, but every variation of their life.
With this in mind, one of the ways I've taken to passing time is just watching myself. It’s not as narcissistic as it sounds. I've seen an entire life ended because I didn't have support when I needed it most—who'd have thought a runty pegasus diving off Canterlot could make such a big splat?—and another who never met Ice Blossom in the first place. Surprisingly, some of the ponies I'd become were far more emotionally stable than I'd ever been, and most of them didn't have Blossom or Chill Beat in their lives.
Did that make the two Neighponese mares who'd brought me so much companionship at university naught but emotional crutches?
At any rate, I quickly picked up on something with so much time watching my life play out in so many different ways. At a pivotal moment in a timeline, there would usually be a slight tremble indicating there's another branching path that I could follow if I so chose. They were always pretty interesting, except for one.
It was the one I had come across many times. It was the week I first got to Ponyville, and I'd lost touch with reality after the petrification of Pound Cake. The event always showed me sleeping in the little hollow under the tree that Sweetie directed me to. I'd go to sleep, and the entire scene would shake violently. I always thought it meant something big would happen, so I would latch onto that new branch and start to watch...
But it would always play out similarly enough that I thought it was just a red herring. Usually, I'd just go back by the time I saw my fight with Twilight play out the same way, right down to the point where I could have killed her before starting over. Interestingly enough, there was never a branch at that moment in time... Just the night before.
That was the very scene I was watching right now, on the divergent path. It's all from 'my' perspective, so I never see anything but what I should have. Everything was black, but I knew I was in the middle of Ponyville. Lyra counted down to the start of the duel, and I readied myself for the dastardly trick. I detonated the light amplification crystal, and began my fight with Twilight, somehow keeping the upper hand. I know now from talks I've had with the mare that she was admittedly holding back, even when I was trying to kill her.
“I never said this was a wizard's duel, you foolish impostor!” 'I' croaked, glaring at the horrified Twilight before biting her leg. Taking advantage of her pain, I increased the distance between us, and began to look around. Almost everyone was gathered around. I saw Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash interposed between me and the rest of the crowd... Bon-Bon, staring in terror at the sight of Lyra's body so roughed up and bleeding. Huddled up against her is a small silver-gray near-unicorn... all of them looked at me like I was the villain!
Wait a moment... I loop back and watch her vision sweep across the crowd, making sure that I hadn't simply seen wrong. A silvery foal is definitely huddled up against Bon-Bon... but much to my surprise, I see a nub of a horn growing out from her head. But that's not right... I was always a pegasus in every other timeline... What makes this one so different?
After a moment, the answer hits me. In all my viewings, I've never seen the dream that I experience in the hollow beneath the tree. Does that mean that the branch in this timeline was whatever led Luna to decide my pony form in the dream would be a unicorn instead of a pegasus? Did she decide my form? If so, how much did the princess influence my life, then?
It’s definitely an intriguing thought. My life as a unicorn, after everything that I'd done as Lyra. Would I be a strong mage? Would I be more like Trixie? Would I even go into alchemy? Or was I destined to go down the scholarly path and become a powerful mage’s apprentice?
That brings up a lot of other questions. If I didn't become an alchemist, would I have ever cured my dwarfism and acquired a cutie mark? Or would I do as Twilight would later do: perform some magic bullshittery of the highest order, invent new magic, and become an eternal loli-alicorn? I mean, yeah, it isn't fucking likely, but I have to consider every possible angle. It’s one thing to watch an entire lifetime that was similar enough to my own, allowing me to skip some of the filler, but I’m looking at a whole new life with endless possibilities. I need to be ready for anything...
But can I allow myself to become invested in a me who wasn't me? An entirely new variant of me? I'd seen a lot of shit in my life, and I have no doubt that unicorn Silver would have her own issues. Like, if her destiny isn't alchemy, she might not even take on the mantle of Silver Script. Maybe she'll be Silver Glimmer, or Silver Shimmer or Silverburst. So many possibilities, and without watching this new life I've discovered, I might never find out. Am I prepared for that? Probably not. At the same time, though, I am nothing if not morbidly curious.
With a smile, I mutter aloud to myself, “This should be good.”
For the first time in what feels like years, I wake not to the feeling of pain or restraints, but a very large pillow beneath me. It's curious, given that I was on a hospital bed before I fell asleep, but I'm not going to complain. It's nice just to be able to stretch like a cat and not have to worry about contorting myself awkwardly against the restraints intended to keep me from hurting Lyra's body any further.
As a rather strong gust of wind tousles my mane and making me very aware of the small horn now atop my head, I open my eyes and look to my left and spot Lyra lying there in the hospital bed. A wave of guilt washes over me as I gaze upon her battered and bruised form. She's been relieved of her restraints, and now her dislocated leg has been put in a sling. Her opposite shoulder and much of her chest has been covered in bandages, and several small scratches on her face look to have been recently healed, leaving small patches free of fur.
Rising from my potentially provocative position, I look to the door and the young CNA that’s been keeping an eye on me. She definitely looks the sympathetic sort that, in a different life, I could probably see myself talking to. Unfortunately, there’s nothing for us to really bond over, so it just... doesn’t seem worth it to try and chat her up.
With a sigh, I catch sight of myself in the reflection on Lyra’s bed-frame. The image is super distorted, but I definitely look like a horny little pony. It seems like something I should be super excited about, but after spending a whole week or so in Lyra’s body, it’s lost some of the glamour. Oh yay! I have my own magic with which to try to harm myself and others with now.
“Are you okay?” the white and red little pegasus asks.
Rather than answer the question, I walk past the young mare, careful not to brush up against her. “Candy Stripes, wasn’t it?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder. “Lyra’s probably not gonna be feeling all that great when she wakes up. Can you be there for her and get her anything she needs?”
She tilts her head at my request, and a few strands of red mane drop in front of her face. “But I was asked to keep an eye on you, Miss Soren!”
I flinch at the sound of my own name, a bubble of bitterness and bile rising in my throat. “I’m not injured, not physically at least,” I answer in as firm a tone as I can muster. “Lyra’s body was the one admitted for medical treatment, so she’s the one who needs somepony to watch over her. I… I just need some time to myself, to figure things out.”
“I...” she starts as I walk away. What’s the point in letting her try to cheer me up? She has no idea of just how much I’ve lost, and even though she’s an adolescent and already got a talent pertaining to medicine, it would be cruel of me to lump all of this burden on her. Where would I even start?
“Orderly! Don’t let her leave! We were told not to let her leave!” I hear her call out behind me. You’d think that’d give me a sense of urgency, but the halls are surprisingly crowded. Breaking the line of sight with her is a breeze.
It’s not right of me to just shrug her off like this; there’s just this... finality about it all, y’know? Deep down in my heart, I know that my parents aren’t going to take me back. All of my worldly belongings... all of my games and internet friends... even my writing... There’s no going back to that.
As my mind wanders to dark places, my hooves lead me down several halls and out of the hospital. Ponies watch me go, but none really stop me. All they see is a small mare—naught but a filly, really—finishing her vigil over a friend they’d seen her visit several times prior. They don’t know much more than that, because I look normal to them, and if there’s one thing that I’ve realized in my week or so in Equestria, it’s that ponies don’t question normal.
Eventually, I find myself in a small park at the edge of the city. It takes some effort given my size and inexperience with the form, but I’m able to climb atop the wall to look out at the horizon. Oh, I have no intention of jumping, but I also have no real urgent sense of self-preservation, either. It’s not like I don’t deserve the fall. Mental illness or no, I said some... awful things to a lot of ponies and put a number of them through even more grief than they were already going through. I’ve made accusations that aren’t entirely based in fact.
I... I almost killed a pony. No, not just a pony. I almost killed the pony that I look up to. I nearly murdered Twilight in cold blood. Why? Because I couldn’t handle all the stress? Because I started hallucinating and thought she was a changeling? Mental infirmity isn’t an acceptable excuse for trying to kill the one pony that could possibly fix everything...
In spite of this, the princesses refuse to punish me. Tears begin to roll down my cheek. Do they really believe that I am no longer a threat? That I have been punished enough? I look out over the fields and forests beneath the mountain city of Canterlot. This—all of this—is my punishment for the arrogance of believing myself a hero, and being foolhardy enough to have even indulged Lyra’s message. My crimes of vandalism, disturbing the peace, assault with a deadly weapon, and attempted murder...
Anypony that might come this way would probably assume I’m just a foal. They would think I’m either too daft to realize the danger, or think I’m going to jump. Even as I turn my gaze downward, at the ground far beneath the edge of the city—not that the conveniently placed lake would help an earth pony or unicorn like me—I know that I would never actually jump.
“Even if God has forsaken me, I could never kill myself like this,” I whisper aloud, seizing a flower from a nearby patch of grass with my magic. I stare at it: a sunflower. With careful deliberation, I pop off the petals and just drop them over the edge.
As the wind catches the petals and carries them away, I think to myself, It’s strange how the destruction of something can be so beautiful. “Maybe that’s why I want to be punished so badly,” I murmur. “If I can just face real punishment for my actual crimes, I move on?”
Before I can reflect any further on my predicament and how the crown seems content to let bygones be bygones, I hear the tell-tale clip-clop of hooves coming up the path to my back. Not one, but two sets, metal-clad. Horseshoes? Angling my ears back to get a better read of things, it occurs to me that one is larger—or heavier—than the other. There’s even the odd metallic clinking. A guard and a civilian, maybe?
“Are we sure we want to do this?” asks a male, somewhat familiar voice. “A foal is a big step, and we’ve barely settled into Sombra’s old castle. Neither it or Canterlot Castle are a place to raise a child, and I’d rather not have to fight conniving nobles off with a stick. If they caught wind that we were here for fertility treatment...”
“I know, Shiny,” replies an equally familiar female voice. “It just seems like the only good in my life these days comes from what little time our jobs allow us together or when I get to see Twilight.”
Completely reflexively, my back straightens, and I fall backward off the wall, into a nearby bush. There’s a sudden clatter, and by the time I roll out of the bush, two ponies are standing above me, looking down at me in concern. It takes me a minute, looking up at them, to realize that I’ve seen them before. Princess Cadance in all her regalia, and the Captain of the Royal Guard, Prince-Consort Shining Armor in his different armor..
“What were you doing up there, young filly?” Shining Armor asks, a conflict between concern and reproach playing out across his face. “Don’t you know how dangerous it is to be up there on the wall?”
Princess Cadance swoops in and pulls me to my hooves before I can speak, fussing over my appearance and brushing some leaves out of my mane. “You weren’t going to jump, were you?” she asks at the sight of my guilty expression, horror etched across her face. “Why would you do such a thing?”
I shake my head. “No, Your Highness; I wasn’t going to jump.” It takes a lot of effort to not to smile at the shock as they take in the maturity of my voice. Certainly, it wasn’t the voice of a foal my size. “My God would never forgive me if I ended my own life, for all the good he’s done me lately.”
“Your... God?” Cadance asks, before Shining can speak up. “Is that your pet? A parent’s name? It’s not a word most ponies would know.”
I shake my head with a sad smile. “No, ma’am. God is what those of the faith I was born into chose to call our deity. ‘Thou shalt have no other gods before me.’ Original, right?”
Much to my amazement, Cadance’s mouth opens and closes like that of a fish whilst she struggles to comprehend the idea that a pony could have religion. She’s even mouthing a thought to herself, as if tasting the words: “She’s so young, though.”
Instead of staring at the alicorn until her brain reboots, I turn to Shining Armor. “Captain Armor... Your Highness... sir?” There’s a struggle in my brain in how best to approach the stallion given what I’m about to say next. “I find myself in a bit of a conundrum. I am guilty of several crimes, yet Princesses Celestia and Luna have seen fit to forego trial and address me no punishment. That isn’t right.”
Just by the look on his face, I can tell he rather agrees, even if his instinct tells him that the Princesses have their reasons. “It is not my place to question the decisions of Her Royal Highness, Princess Celestia, young...” He trips over his tongue, likely realizing that calling me filly might come off as condescending. “... lady. If they’ve chosen to overlook your crimes, they mustn’t have been too severe.”
A lot more effort than is necessary is required to look the Captain of the Guard in the eye. “My first crime is vandalism. Through the act of self-defenestration, I damaged one window in the library in Ponyville.” At the mention of the town and library, he visibly tenses. “In addition, I am guilty of disturbing the peace in the midst of a day of mourning in the aforementioned town.” Tears well up in my eyes once more, and I break eye contact, turning my gaze to the ground. “Finally, I am guilty of assault with a deadly weapon and the attempted murder of Twilight Sparkle.”
~ 1 ~
The bars and concrete of the cell here in the guard station is a welcome change to everything, as strange as it may sound. It’s the first bit of structure I’ve had in my life since Lyra came into my life. Sure, they don’t have any magic suppressors in my size here at the guard station Shining brought me to, but I think he and the staff here can tell that I want to be in a cell, and that I’m not looking to get out. Maybe that’s why they didn’t bother locking it.
Or they’re humoring me until they can get info or find my ‘parents’. Shining Armor definitely seemed upset by the prospect of someone having attempted killing his sister, never mind not having been immediately appraised of the situation upon arriving in Canterlot. If not for Cadance, they probably would have at least gotten out the foal shackles… if the guard even has such a thing.
“Name?” the desk sergeant—an earth pony mare—asks from the other side of the bar.
“Soren—pronounced Zuu-ren—Friedrich.”
Her eyebrow raises at the peculiar name. “Date of birth?”
“Twenty-first, October... I’m not sure how the calendar converts, so put down whatever year it was twenty-two years ago.”
The guardsmare gives me this look as if to ask, ‘Are you yanking my chain.’ “Place of birth and current place of residence?”
“Kingston, Ontario, Canada... Terra Firma.” She gapes at me. “And as far as current residence... this cell. I have no home now.”
Shaking her head, the guardsmare writes down some more things on the parchment. “Outside Equestria, no fixed address, no cutie mark, no Equestrian Citizenship Number.” The mare idly chews the end of her quill for a moment as she scans the document, and then reads aloud, “Vandalism, disturbing the peace, assault with a deadly weapon, and attempted murder of the Captain’s younger sibling?” She looks at me with doubt. “You’re telling me that a blank such as yourself attempted to kill the Princess’s prize pupil?”
I look her in the eyes and say evenly, “You’d be amazed just how far the element of surprise will get you. If not for Her Highnesses intervention, I probably would have succeeded. Nopony expects a pony to catch a thrown object outside their field of vision and have it pressed against the base of their skull.” Shaking my head from side to side, I roll over on the cell’s bench and hug myself. “I’m glad they stopped me... I’d have hated myself for it.”
“And you think about how to... kill ponies often?” the guard asks, backing away with her paperwork even as her eyes flick to my horn.
“No, I abhor killing, but I’m not about to lie down and just die, either.” I hold a hoof above me, marveling at how close in color I am to the walls of the cell. Just do something about my mane and tail, close my eyes, and press myself flat, and bam! Miniature chameleon horse. “I don’t think like prey, I guess you could say. I’m no good in a straight up brawl, but if you want something dead, I can usually think of a way or two.”
She’s straight-up shivering now. Is it the casual apathy in which I speak of taking a life? The fact that fact that I look like an adorable little filly but talk like an adult who’s seen some shit? At the same time, though, she also looks kinda curious. “How, then, would you deal with a den of diamond dogs?”
I blink at the mare, even as I ponder the idea. “As a group, or alone?” When she confirms as part of a larger force, I think about it. For several minutes, I just sit there, my gaze focused on the ceiling.
Ponies lose the effectiveness of pegasi underground, and likewise, just a small group of dogs would probably have the advantage over a battalion of mixed ponies in the caves. So, to even the battlefield, make them come to you. “Block all entrances to the den but one, and either fill it with gas to smoke them out, or have unicorns burn out all the oxygen in the caves by firing fireballs down the cave mouth. Any dogs that don’t suffocate from carbon monoxide or whatever gas you flood the cave system with would probably try to surface straight up. Station pegasi in the area above the area as spotters, and have ponies with crossbows take them out should they not surrender.”
She’s absolutely green around the gills now, but there’s another expression on her face: awe. “Why didn’t we have a mind like yours at the Breaker Mine Slaughter?” she whispers, her eyes brimming with tears. “So many good ponies could have lived if only we had somepony like you. My husband...”
She breaks off into silence, and I honestly don’t feel much like talking any longer either. It does make me think, though. From everything I’ve ever seen, the Royal Guard is next to useless. A bunch of untrained civilians have a better combat record than the actual armed forces. Was it just My Little Pony just giving the girls all the screen time? Or are the guards just that impotent?
Then there’s what the sergeant just said; if they’d had a pony like me at this Breaker Mine, a great loss of life might’ve been prevented. Did that imply that maybe the Royal Guard corps screened people with a mind for dark things? Even if I wasn’t excluded from service in the guard for my history of mental illness and criminal record, I’m sure I’d get screened out for being able to think like that.
Finally, I look back at the guard. She’s composed herself. “I’m sorry for your loss, Sergeant… um...”
“Wind Whisper.” She smiles a hollow smile and packs up the document, quill, and ink. “Thank you, Soren. You should get some rest, though.” With a glance toward the clock, she adds, “If nopony comes for you soon, you’ll probably be here the whole night.”
~ 1 ~
For whatever reason, dreams do not visit me the entirety of the night I spend in the cell. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the bed is a nothing but a mattress upon a metal frame suspended from the wall, or my not having a blanket to cover myself with. Maybe it's just because I feel like the guard, Wind Whisper, won't stop watching me from her station at the desk. Either way, the night is anything but restful.
So color me surprised when I wake up to see three very royal ponies staring at me: Celestia, Luna, and Shining Armor. Nothing quite like being like a zoo animal on display. I mean, I probably deserve it, but still.
"I am very disappointed that you held Soren for an entire night in a guard station without alerting us to her location," Celestia says, rubbing her face with one hoof. "There are a number of ponies, myself and Luna among them, concerned for her safety and very disturbed to find her gone without a trace."
Rather than look to Celestia, Shining Armor stares at me in an appraising manner. "Given the severity of the crimes she claimed to have committed, I felt it prudent to investigate her claims before cutting her free." I return his gaze and nod. After a moment, he turns to the princesses and frowns. "Princess Celestia, is it true that this... pony is the one that was occupying the body of Lyra Heartstrings of Ponyville on the day my sister was challenged to a duel that you yourself intervened in?"
"Yes, Captain, it would be accurate to say that she was," Celestia replies in her typical serene voice. "However..."
"So by all rights, she should go to trial," Shining interrupts her. "She herself has expressed a desire to be punished for what she's done."
"But she was not of right mind, Captain," Luna replies. "Her mental competency was compromised."
I cough to make myself known, as it is clear the two princesses had either ignored the fact that I was awake, or had completely forgotten me in lieu of getting to the bottom of Shining Armor's apparent betrayal. "Princess, just don't. Regardless of my mental competency, I nearly killed somepony who meant more to me than any of you could know. What I did to Twilight was nothing short of evil, presence of mind or no."
My statement catches them all off guard. Again, I'm reminded that the only horse in this world who knows that their entire reality has been serialized as a cartoon is Lyra. And myself too, I suppose. Either way, they can't possibly understand that Twilight's adventures helped me through a dark time, or that Purple Smart is best book horse. Until Lyra shows them all My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, they'll never know why I look up to Twilight as the intelligent and strong, but adorably awkward, mage she is. As it stands, I assume that they simply believe that I'm basing my opinion off some of Lyra's inherited memories of childhood friendship with the mare. Maybe I am, too.
I roll off the bunk and stagger into a standing pose, suddenly aware of how hungry I actually am. "I wanted to be held accountable for what I did because of it. Even if I've lost everything, that's the cost of my crime of hubris." Some effort is required, but I'm able to move myself over to the bars before my legs turn to jelly. "The least you can do is pretend I'll be punished for my other crimes."
The princesses share a look, and then Luna breathes out a heavy breath. "Soren, we do not desire to punish you. It is through no fault of your own that our ponies have brought about such great misfortune to your life." She surprises me by coming alongside the bars, shocking Shining and the ever present Wind Whisper, and sliding a wing through to embrace me. "Shouldering their blame in this might be a coping mechanism, but make no mistake; their actions broke you, and you may never be whole for a long time. Our... forgiveness of your crimes is the least we can do. We owe you at least that much."
That's certainly... one way to look at it, I suppose, and can I say my thought processes are flawless right now? Wasn't it just a few days ago that I was completely out of control and touch with reality? It almost sounds fair when she says it aloud, but still...
What would I even do, now that all of this is done? What can I do? The show only ever focused on Twilight and her friends, and given that the third season was yet to premiere when all this happened, there hasn't been too much world building for me to base much knowledge off of. Before I can even seek any meaningful employment, I would probably need to get whatever passes for a GED. Then there's also the whole unicorn thing. I still have Lyra's knowledge of the telekinesis spell, as well as the way I modified it on the fly to slow Sweetie Belle's descent that time... But I'm probably too old to attend Celestia's magic school. Not that I’d want to.
As fun as being a mage and studying magic might be, I want to help ponies. I want to make sure that there will never be another Pound Cake. Ponies need to grow up safe, even if they do live at the edge of the most evil forest in Equestria. But surely the Guard will never take me. Not after what I did... not with who's in charge. So how would I help ponies? Become an unassuming hoofmaiden-slash-bodyguard to some noble?
"I just want to help ponies," I say quietly. "I'm no hero, but if I can spare families the grief of learning their loved one died to a monster attack... If I can make sure even just one mare or stallion fighting alongside me gets home safe each day, that'd be enough for me." My eyes flick past Princess Luna to Shining Armor. "I'd gladly enlist to serve as penance."
Somehow, I don't imagine this is how Shining Armor, Celestia, or Luna expected this to turn out. From the way Luna was talking, it almost sounded like she was offering me a comfortable life on a silver platter, and instead of taking that offer, I slap it away, looking for some further form of penance. I could probably ask for them to make me a noble and they'd say yes. Part of me almost wants to, because I can’t even imagine how the nobility would take that.
"Would this be agreeable, Captain Shining Armor?" Celestia asks, a coy smile gracing her lips. "You were saying when you brought us here that you thought she ought to be watched at all times. I can think of no better place for her than to serve under you."
He balks, if only for a moment. "She's a bit on the small side to be serving as a guard. If she was a pegasus, she could serve as a scout maybe..." A thoughtful look crosses his face. "A blank flank—and a diminutive one at that—could get into places a guard might otherwise not. She’d be better suited act as an under-cover bodyguard or spy..." He shakes his head. "There's the matter of her education as well. If she really is from another world, she'd likely have to get an Equivalent Education Diploma before she would even be admitted as a recruit. Finally, she'd need to be tested for magic aptitudes, but from everything you've told me about her, telekinesis is the only spell she knows concretely, with one accidental translocation to report."
Finally, Luna smiles. "It sounds, then, like Soren will have a lot to achieve in but a few months, if she so wishes to catch the spring guard enrollment."
Soren... They keep calling me by that name, but even they have quickly taken to calling me by female pronouns. It's almost as if they already see me as one of their little ponies. But Soren Friedrich, for better or worse, is dead. My folks would never have me back as I am, even if I could spend time on Earth without dying from lack of ambient mana. I'd always be hiding in the shadows, a freak until I died, or Equestria opened diplomatic relations with Earth.
But, if I'm not Soren, who can I be? Silver Script, the name that Luna suggested by way of the dream she gave me, is an alright name, but it sounds like a pencil pusher or maybe a doctor. I don't want to just sit back and wait for wounded to come to me. If anything, I’d want to make sure there weren’t any wounded to begin with.
So not Script, but Silver is definitely an apt name. Silver what, though? Silver Dream? Silver Wisp? No...
"I can't be Soren Friedrich any more, your highness. If I hang onto that name out of some flawed hope that I'll retain my humanity, I'll just end up a mess," I say tiredly as I push myself back up onto my hooves. Climbing onto the bed is a lot more effort than it's probably worth. "Please, call me Silver Penance." When my stomach makes itself quite known, I stifle a nervous giggle. “Or... you could call me hungry.”
~ 1 ~
It honestly takes a little work to get my housing arranged. I don't really know anypony here in Canterlot, and I can't in good conscience take a suite in the castle proper, even if I were under house arrest. That said, Princess Celestia did manage to convince Twilight to give me a crash course in everything I'd need for an EED, magic included. It took even more cajoling for her to understand that she shouldn’t treat this like a punishment. I mean, I know I'd think it punishment to help... rehabilitate the very pony who very well near killed me. Then again, I've been told I'm abnormal countless times in my life, so hey, who's counting, right?
Getting her not to fear me, on the other hoof, is going to be a completely different undertaking. I mean, I nearly became death personified for her, so I can't rightly expect her to not be on edge around me. It wasn't something I initially picked up on when we spoke back in the hospital, but if I move suddenly, she'll try her best not to flinch.
So how in the heck did I even end up sharing in her old dormitory tower?
Oh! Right! The princesses want Twilight to teach me about what it is to really be a pony, to teach me the social graces and facts not imparted to me by Lyra's partial memory overwrite. There may also be some magic training in there too, because clearly we need to give the psycho midget more tools to hurt herself and others. To be honest though, I'm not sure if she's been made my teacher, or if she's actually been put into a mom-ish role so that if my diminutive size gets me into trouble, she'd be able to get me out.
Of course, there's another reason they're keeping me in Canterlot on the palace grounds. Shining Armor certainly wasn't kidding when he thought that I should, at the very least be under the watch of the guard at all times. Honestly, it's more of a blessing than a curse, though. At least the guard assigned to watching me doesn't seem to have much of an issue running me through exercises I'd be doing for PT as a guardsmare.
Still, it's hard to believe a week has passed since I got my own body back. It's so darn weird being so small though; I'm still used to being just under six feet tall. Given that I was half-that when I was occupying Lyra, and half as much again, it's pretty disconcerting how short I am. At least when I had Lyra's body, I could still look ponies in the eyes. Now, I'm about as tall as your average foal, without the benefits of being nearly as cancerously cute.
I just wish the meeting with my parents the other day had gone any different. When Twilight ripped open a subspace highway back to my old home, my folks vehemently denied that I was once their son. No, Soren went missing, is all. I’d like to say that I didn’t see that coming, but there was always the implication of ‘unfuck yourself or don’t come home at all’ when this whole thing began.
So I guess all I can do is learn how to be a pretty little unicorn, right? Well, pretty until I join the Royal Guard and buck myself up. Then we can see how adorable I think I am.
As I go through my daily brushing after bathing, I can't help but go over in my head some of the mental exercises Twilight suggested to fine-tune my control of my magic. It's one thing to be running off of Lyra's memories of how to control her magic, but another to have your own actually tailored to your specific body. That is one of the first things Twilight taught me about magic. No two ponies have magic that behaves exactly the same.
Rather than pull exclusively from your own reserves, it is best to pull in the ambient magic around you and augment your spells with it. She makes it sound as easy as breathing, but it's akin to somepony telling you that you are breathing and then having to make a conscious effort to breathe until your body takes over again.
A spell comprised of fifty percent ambient magic and fifty percent personal mana—magic processed and refined by the body—will be relatively weaker, but the ease of control and effectiveness is inversely proportional to the strength. This much actually makes sense. All areas have ambient magic, but there are some places, like the Everfree Forest, where the magic... likes, for lack of a better word, the way things are, and puts up resistance to spellwork in the area. By including the local magic in the spell, it allows your spell to bypass some of the local resistance.
Of course, that said, one must also take into account their environment when casting a spell. For example, higher up on a mountain, a pony might not need to use as strong of a telekinesis spell as they would at the foot. In a swamp, a fire spell might ignite a pocket of methane. Water and lightning spells should be pretty obvious.
Of course, Twilight's method of utilizing ambient magic is actually a pretty advanced skill that is almost mandatory for higher-level casting, and not easily picked up. Why she decided to start with that is beyond me. Still, I haven't started a fire that wasn't on purpose yet. Not setting water on fire is a talent, right?
To be fair, she's right. It does make it a lot easier, especially since I have an admittedly small reserve. Practice and exploring should help remedy that, but we're operating on the understanding that I might not grow any larger. Reserves are almost universally proportional to the size of a pony. There are exceptions, but I'm just happy to be the exception to the 'should be dead' rule.
What surprises me most about all of this isn't how quickly I'm adjusting—and finding out that some of the things Lyra told me were toxic were actually just coincidental allergies has made that adjustment easier—or how things are working out so well. No, it's how easily I've taken to using magic. Manipulating a brush is foal-tier levitation, but most ponies don't also manipulate their manes ahead of the brush to prevent snags. Sure, its slower-going, but it's so much less painful than accidentally hitting a snag with too much force.
“Hey, Penny.” I groan at the nickname I've already been given. Darn Pinkie's out to ruin me, I swear. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”
From the corner of my eye, I glance at Spike, who has patiently stood at the door for the last ten or so minutes. He's kind of an odd kid. Like Twilight, he seems to be somewhat bothered by the fact that he's basically been ripped away from his friends and family, but he's not... scared of me. Curious, maybe, but no malice in how he goes about things. Then again, it might be that Twilight wants him to keep tabs on me while I'm getting used to this transitory period in my life.
“'s up, Spike?” I murmur around the hairpins I'm holding onto with my lips. Once I'm finished with the brush, I set it down on the small table beside the futon mattress that serves as my bed. “Something on your mind?”
His eyes widen as I begin to utilize my telekinesis field as I would fingers. I pull the back part of my mane into a ponytail and then divvy it up into three equal diameter strands, twisting them every which way to form a braid. That's another thing I picked up on quickly. Things that would normally take multiple, split TK fields can be accomplished easier if I reshape my spell to mimic the behavior of a hand. It works well enough, given that I've got twenty-some years experience using them.
“You used to be a guy, right?” he asks with all the childish innocence you’d expect from a being his age. Still, the question catches me off guard, and I pull my mane a bit tighter than I’d like. “You seem like you’ve adapted to being a mare pretty well.”
Pushing the bobby pins to one corner of my mouth with my tongue, I suck in a sharp breath through the other corner. “This isn’t something I’m particularly comfortable talking about, Spike,” I reply in a measured tone. “I’ve got a lot going on with a number of Lyra’s memories still floating around in my head, and I had a number of personal problems beforehand. It’s nothing personal.”
Thankfully, he takes the hint, and after about another minute, he shakes his head. “I've been around ponies all of my life,” he comments, holding his claws out to the sides with their palms up. “In all the time I've spent among them, I haven't seen a pony take to something like you've taken to magic and not get a cutie mark related to it. How can you be good at something after only two weeks and not have it considered your talent?”
With thoughtful smile, I turn to face him completely. “A pony can be good at many things, yet none ever really has more than one special talent,” I explain as cross the room to join him at the door. “I could very well be talented with magic, but is that definitely tied into my personal destiny? It could be, however I don't think a pony gains their mark until they can actually recognize something as what they are meant to do.”
He nods. “Twilight figured you'd say that.”
“Yeah, well I got news for you, kiddo.” I pat him gently on the shoulder with a hoof. “I personally think it's because my transformation was flawed.”
He arches an… actually do dragons even have eyebrows? I mean he certainly raises something, but can it really be considered an eyebrow if it’s more of a patch of darker colored scales, rather than hairs? No, stop. Overthinking is bad. He arches an eyebrow. There.
“Look at me, Spike, really look at me,” I order, gesturing at my small body with one hoof. “Before this transformation, I was a fully-grown adult of my former species. I know enough about ponies to know that they age similarly. Why, then, would the natural conversion of my form put me in the form of a foal?”
He shakes his head. “Dunno, but that sounds like a Twilight question more than a Spike question.”
With a sigh, I push past him and begin making my way out of the sleeping area of the dorm. “It was a rhetorical question anyway,” I answer, walking down into the lower level and joining Twilight. He’s right there at my side, seemingly watching for any instability. I only fell once, darn it!
“Point is that for me to be this small, the process that converted my body from human to pony is highly undocumented, and likely not entirely perfect. The process may have converted my extra mass into energy to fuel the transformation, or even attune me to the natural ley lines of this world. What I’m saying is that there’s no way the process accounted for everything, like possible genetic abnormalities.”
There, seated at a desk with a stack of papers, quills, and textbooks is, of course, Twilight Sparkle. Her head perks up at the mention of ley lines, documentation, and genetics. For a moment, she seemingly even forgets her unease. “It’s, at the very least, a sound hypothesis,” she confirms. “You may have had some sort of previously unknown condition that, when the conversion occurred, manifested as dwarfism. Alternatively, the process may not have actually fully translated your genes, in which case it’s a miracle you’re even fully functioning.”
Completely forgoing breakfast, I take the seat across from her. “Regardless, it’s time to learn.” Glancing at the spines of the books on the stack, I can see a mix of basic equestrian script, which I can apparently read without any problems, and then some sort of text that is alien to me. “Before we start, however, I would like to go over why I can read some of those titles, but not all of them.”
This leads to a very lengthy lecture regarding the enchanted ink that many unicorns choose to write their magic books in. As it turns out, spell books not intended for beginners often contain spells that could bring a user serious harm if they aren’t prepared to cast them. Therefore, for safety reasons—although sometimes it’s just to lord things over the non-unicorns—books are often printed in this ink.
To this end, the ink is doubly enchanted. The first effect calls a diagnostic spell that measures a unicorn’s synchronicity with their own personal magic. If it’s not within a certain level, it activates the second enchantment, which scrambles a pony’s perception of the ink. This means that, though a pony may be able to otherwise read the written text, it will be indecipherable if the reader is not sufficiently skilled.
There are even varying degrees to which the enchantments are imbued upon the ink. There are some inks that are intended for use in printing a foal’s first spell book. Until they can read and are well past the point where they’re having bouts of baby magic, the books are useless to them. Likewise, some of Starswirl the Bearded’s work is written in ink so strong that, for the longest time, the documents were on par with the old Voynich manuscript.
From there, we quickly delve into my ‘homework’ of having to practice writing the script with a quill. Honestly, you’d think she was being vindictive, but no. It’s just more professional if I write with a quill. Again, I can understand the actual lesson behind it. Sure, a pencil with parchment is doable, and allows you to learn a good modicum of finesse, but it takes just the right amount of contact with the parchment to get only a reasonable amount of ink with a quill.
So on and on we go. A bit of history of the world, a bit of the history of magic… Heck, she’s even being kind enough to go over equine body language, since it’s clear I don’t know everything from Lyra’s leftover memories. All the while, I’m actively burning through mana by levitating all of the books around me.
When finally we break for lunch, we go outside and meet with the guard that watches over me from a respectable distance. As we eat, he goes over the exercises he’ll be running me through this afternoon. The sedentary homebody in me groans inwardly at all the exercise, but the part of me striving for personal growth is starting to overshadow that old part of me.
Finally, at the end of my the day, just before dinner, Twilight whips out some magical test. The first time she did it, just a few days ago, I recall grumbling about how impossible what she was asking such a rank beginner to achieve. Instead, she’s not actually asking me to achieve something outside my skill range. She’s instead testing my creativity and applications of what I know.
Honestly? It’s kinda fun. Sure, it’s at the end of the day when I’m low on mana and physical energy, particularly after skipping breakfast, and it leaves me drained. At the same time, though, it leaves me too tired for fitful dreaming.
Today, she takes me out to a sizable field on the castle grounds—the sparring grounds, the guard points out. Her request for the day, you might ask? Try, by any means that I can, to get through one of her barrier spells.
I wonder if this is how Princess Celestia trained her, I wonder to myself. Did she test Twilight occasionally and then adjust her lessons accordingly?
When Twilight throws her dome shield up and shouts, “Ready,” I smile. She let her voice carry through the barrier on purpose, so maybe she doesn’t expect me to try a sonic attack? Or maybe it’s a trick, and she’s seeing if I can be baited. Then again, I’m nowhere near ready to even begin casting sound-based spells.
With a deep breath, I reach out with passive magic sense and examine the dome. It’s a perfect sphere, above and below ground. It’s very firm, but… it’s also somewhat porous to allow air and moisture through. Gotta breathe, after all.
Now, I don’t have nearly enough reserves or built-up magical strength to brute force it. Short of Shining Armor or the princesses, I’m not sure anypony could crack that with raw power. It’s just not feasible.
I pace around the shield, eyeing it up. How would I get through or around it, then? I don’t have nearly enough experience to attempt a controlled blink or translocation. Similarly, sound spells are out. But I gotta keep it cool if I want to… Oh… that could work.
With slow deliberation, I begin to draw in ambient magic from around me. There’s not a whole lot, because Twilight’s pumping all of the local energy she can into her shield. Still, there’s a little bit I can use.
Actually, no. That’s not true to the fullest extent. There are other sources of magic that are available to me. Oh, Penny, you clever—darn it, Pinkie! Now you’ve got me doing it!
~ 1 ~
Twilight watched the diminutive mare through the magenta haze of her shield. Though the thought challenge may have been a bit too hard for a pony of Silver’s low skill level, there was still something about her that made her feel she might be able to do something special.
Soren, or Silver Penance, as she’d taken to being called had a mind for problem solving. She’d seen it the day that she’d been bested in the duel. Knowing that Twilight had her outclassed, the mare had found a way to get an edge in on her—literally and figuratively. Even when she was put into a position where she shouldn’t have been able to win, she used her mind to turn a loss into a win.
Frankly, that scared the hay out of Twilight more than anything. To put things plainly, if this pony wanted to seriously hurt somepony else, she’d probably find a way to make it happen. Yet Twilight was teaching her about magic… giving her more ways to hurt somepony. Sure, she had a temperament where she’d likely need a reason to hurt somepony, but she’d do it, sure as the day is long.
She could feel Silver reaching out and examining the shield. It didn’t surprise her that the first thing she did was zero in on the tiny openings allowing air in and out, although she was impressed by how fine Silver was able to narrow her focus.
At the edge of the field, near Silver’s guard shadow, a number of guards began to congregate. There were many whispers, she imagined ponies in the guard had heard tales of the times when she had trained under Princess Celestia upon this very field. Likely, they were curious as to what this ‘apprentice’ could do.
An aura lit around Silver Penance’s horn, a now-familiar navy shimmer. She could feel the inexperienced mare attempting to force one of the air holes to give. It wasn’t a particularly elegant attempt, but few beginners did so with the poise of a princess.
Then, a second aura began form. A second pressure was exerted on a second spot about a foot away. The mare began to sweat, and a third point, a foot equidistant from both points began to strain. What surprised Twilight was that she couldn’t feel much at all of Silver’s presence, as if it was all the magical energy being forced at these points was purely from the local area.
A third cone of aura ignited brightly, and Twilight found she actually had to narrow her eyes to keep her in sight. The sudden show of force distracted Twilight almost to the point that she almost didn’t notice that something was tugging and leeching energy away from the areas Silver was exerting pressure upon. She quickly diverted a sliver of power from other parts of the shield, and then smiled as the drain became minute and the energy distribution balanced out.
That smile quickly became a wince of pain as a visible spiderweb of cracks snaked across the barrier in front of her. It was only then that she could actually feel Silver Penance’s raw mana spread throughout the surface of the shield dome and she realized what the mare had done. She’d used Twilight’s mana to lessen the resistance of the shield and spread tendrils of her own mana through the shield like a creeper vine.
The tiny mare was actively trembling as the cracks spread across the shield. This couldn’t have been an easy feat for her; with the small pool of mana she had from the outset, and the reduced level that she could operate at, she had to be bordering burnout.
A loud whistle came from one of the guards. “Ain’t never seen anything like that before,” one unicorn guard said. “Most ponies wouldn’t think to use another’s own spell power to augment their own inadequacies.”
“Wonder if she’d give the Captain a run for his bits?”
“Who, the Cap’? No way!”
With a guttural scream, Silver lowered her head and a lance of violet light shot from her horn. When it made contact, she was astounded by how much of her own magic was infused in the blast. As the shield collapsed into shards of disintegrating glass, the amount of backlash she felt nearly floored her.
Instead, the only pony to drop was the tiny gray one, who fell to the floor laughing and crying. At first, nopony even reacted, clearly too shocked by what they’d just witnessed. A pony, who effectively looked like a foal, had just bested the princess’s star pupil, a formidable mage in her own right. The little sister of the best shield caster bested by a rank amateur.
It wasn’t until Silver’s flank began to glow and smoke alongside her horn that ponies rushed over.
The scent of burnt fur, horn, and flesh assailed her senses as she drew near. Having spent enough of her life using magic that could be considered dangerous, she was not at all unfamiliar with the smell of scorched fur and alicorn, but the smell of seared flesh was something that brought her to the brink of becoming ill.
The sight before her eyes didn’t help ease her stomach any, either. Where most ponies would bear a cutie mark, the fur was burned away and bare. A shape not unlike a shattered kite shield would occasionally flash upon her flank before quickly fading away, accompanied by a fresh wave of that awful burnt-flesh smell.
“Sweet Celestia...”
In spite of the pain she was in, Silver opened her eyes and looked to Twilight. “H-hey, Twi,” she said with a strained smile. “Didja see? I was like ice...” Her eyes then promptly rolled up into the back of her skull and the seizures began.
~ 1 ~
You know, I gotta stop waking up in hospitals in this world. First day here? Hospital. Three days after the duel? Hospital. New body? Same room Lyra occupied, still counts. Now? Pff. Where the hay do you think I am?
So, you know, just lemme muster up what remained of my shock. Oh wait. My shock tank’s empty. How ‘bout the reserves? Gone. Well what do we have? A massive fucking headache, Captain! Lovely.
Now, before I even open my eyes, I know I’m in a lot of pain. My muscles are all stiff. My head and horn especially hurt, and by God does my arse-end hurt. Yeah! I’m in enough pain that whatever Lyra’s partial overwrite of my mind didn’t have the strength to override good ol’ human swearing.
“Th’ fugg happen?” I grumble, straining myself to rub at my face with a hoof. Amazingly, I’m not restrained this time. ‘cause, y’know, the last time I was officially checked into a hospital, I was stark raving bonkers. “I know I asked Twilight to light a fire under my arse about my studies, but this is absolutely ridiculous.”
I do manage to open my eyes just enough to see a familiar unicorn doctor looking over a printout from a nearby machine I’d not heard. “You certainly manage to attract trouble when it comes to Miss Twilight, don’t you?” she asks, just the barest hint of humor in her voice. “Complete aetheric burnout, experiencing an anoxic seizure, and body rejecting a cutie mark… and that’s to say nothing of your, and pardon my language, completely bucked genetics.”
With a nod, I manage to focus my eyes enough to make out the stethoscope draped over her withers. “Probably some unknown genes bearing similarities to something you’d see in simian DNA, right?” When her eyes widen, I smile. “I read a lot. Not a whole lot to do when you have or had no job. When I wasn’t writing, I read up on various subjects.”
She nods. “In this case the abnormal genes were occupying sectors most commonly used to find familial matches. Given your history of having formerly been another species, it makes sense.” She looks back to the printout. “That’s what caused your body to reject your cutie mark in a most spectacular fashion.”
From the doorway steps a conflicted looking Twilight, followed by Princess Celestia. “With a lot of careful spell work, we were able to repair the damage and replace the bad sectors with a donor sample,” the latter says. “Your body has now successfully accepted your new cutie mark, and you are not likely to experience renal failure in the next ten years.”
A lot of words that she just said don’t settle well with everything I heard from the doctor. They ‘fixed’ me with somepony else’s genes. The genes replaced were markers indicating familial relations.
“Please tell me Twilight’s not my mom, now” I say a bit too quickly, panic rising a bit. I like Book Horse a lot, but I don’t think I could stand being her ‘daughter’. So much pressure about study, you know? Plus, there’s the whole Gary Stu/Mary Sue factor. That’s important too; I don’t wanna live a super fantastical life because magical bullshit.
Twilight looks a bit indignant about that comment, but thankfully one of the two white mares in the room exerts their white privilege and speaks up. “Even if some ponies might see it like that, the law and the therapy don’t work like that.”
“Besides,” Twilight speaks up. “The template came from my brother.”
I blink. Instead of the hangers-on genes that held my last relationship to my parents, I now bear the genes of Prince-Consort Shining Armor. No fucking way. Nope. I didn’t get disowned by my parents for feeling a little horse just so I could technically be Shining Armor’s bastard.
A lump of ice lodges itself somewhere behind my heart. Before, even though my parents had disowned me, I could have at least said I was still somewhat human, but what do I have now? A few knickknacks from home that basically equate to “Been there, done that, got a t-shirt.” No real evidence of my heritage left except for partially overwritten memories.
Oh god…
“Genetics don’t work that way!” I titter, shaking my head. Where once only silver locks would dance across my vision, silver with a streak of light blue dances instead. My gibbering increases and I look at Celestia pleadingly. “I call bullshit!”
It’s still kinda weird stepping through the entrance to the subspace highway. To think that the space between realms takes you through a short tour of someone’s psyche... The first time I ever went through one of these magical constructs, it played out like a scene out of a horror film. It wasn’t as bad for the others, since they didn’t see that nightmarish Lyra thing, but still.
Thankfully, since Twilight went through the gateway first, the landscape I need cross is pulled from her mind, rather than mine. So when I cross into the artificial subspace highway, anchored between my old home and new, I find myself in the midst of what could easily be an Escher painting. Good thing, too. Who knows what mine would be right now?
“Look around you, Soren. What do you see?” my father’s voice echoes in the back of my mind as I plod down a twisting path that simply shouldn’t be.
“My home,” comes my unbidden answer, even as I follow behind Twilight.
Twilight pauses by a Gordian knot of geometric shapes to cast a furtive glance back at me, but says nothing.
The image of my mother appears before me, fear and rage on her face, even as it all becomes featureless. “How could this be your home?” she shrieks. “This is a place for humans! Are you a human?”
“No,” I murmur with a shake of my head. “I’m a pony no—”
“You’re an abomination to the Lord and all that is good!” My father appears, but he too losing his distinctiveness under my gaze. “You’re not a man, or a pony! You’re a monster!” Despite his lack of a face, I can see him sneer. “Even your little pony friend fears you. Just look around!”
Listening to the words of my father, I take in the area around me. There are plenty of me—some Lyra-me, bandaged and bloody, some childlike me—walking around the landscape. Some are marching on the ceiling and walls, while others are pacing on a looping set of stairs. The one thing they all have in common is that they are brandishing small knives or shards of obsidian.
All of them are staring daggers at both myself and Twilight.
“She’s terrified of you!” my father and mother chant in unison. “She should be! You nearly killed her not once, but twice.”
My vision twitches, and I’m suddenly on the ground in the middle of Ponyville, staring up with maddened glee at Twilight. She’s terror-stricken as she realizes that, with a mere nudge of magic, I could push the shard into her brain, killing her.
“That wasn’t my fault!” I cry, blinking and finding myself back in the subspace highway. “I was out of my mind!”
A rumble of dark laughter filled my ears, and when I blink again, I’m in the training field once more. I’m doing Twilight’s training exercise the day I got my cutie mark, straining my hardest to destroy her shield dome. Cracks are spreading across the surface.
My vision detaches from my body, and I watch powerless as the bolt of repurposed magic slams through Twilight’s barrier. When it happened originally, I couldn’t see just how close the bolt came to her head, but now, I can see every strand of mane it singes… but with a flicker of reality again, her entire head is gone, leaving just a cauterized stump where her neck ought to be.
“You weren’t out of your mind when this happened, now were you?” the dark voice asks. “It seems that even when you aren’t trying; you’re a danger.”
No… No, that would have been an accident. One I was responsible for, but I would not be the sole blame there! I shake my head and look to Twilight.
She’s not there.
I’m alone, and it’s not the subspace highway I’m in, now. It’s a pentagonal, obsidian room. I know the place, and with horror, I realize I’ve been here in a dream before. When Luna helped me make peace with Lyra’s memory imprint, this is where I came.
“She can’t help you either,” the voice says with a tone of smugness. Shadow begins to wrap around me. “But I can, if you’ll let me.”
A scream escapes my throat, and I am engulfed in darkness as I wake.
~ 2 ~
From atop my throne, er, a bookshelf in Twilight’s dormitory, I stare down at Twilight, Spike, and ‘Dad’. On the one hand, I kinda wanna start actually calling the prince that just to spite him and everypony else for making this decision without my input. On the other, calling a man that is pretty much only old enough to be my brother—at best—Dad or Daddy, even jokingly, creeps me out.
“Penny, get down here! You’re being ridiculous!” Twilight shouts. Not you too! Why does everypony call me that? “How did you even get up there?”
That’s actually a good question. I’d like to say I used my amazing catlike reflexes to climb the bookshelf, but… honestly? I probably accidentally blinked again. If a mare-child is having a tantrum—yes, this is exactly what it looks like—why shouldn’t she accidentally cast spells that put her in strange places? Pretty impressive, given the migraine and magical burnout I’m suffering, but still.
“How could you, Twilight?” I grumble, scowling down at her. “How could you just… let your own brother put his genetic material inside me like that? Without my consent!?”
When both siblings widen their eyes and I’m reminded that, yes, ponies can blush, I realize that my words could have a second meaning. Given my history, it could even come off as accusatory. Still.
“I get that having my body literally attacking itself for earning my cutie mark is bad and would likely have killed me if the seizures didn’t first,” I continue, pretending I didn’t accidentally imply Shiny did improper things to me. “But you could’ve at least forced me into lucidity to get my permission first!”
Yes, I’m being ridiculous. I know that. They had to make a decision that would save my life. It doesn’t make me any happier, though. Like… they could’ve chosen any random pony’s DNA to stabilize me. Why use genes from the pony whose sister I tried to kill?
“For fuck sake, I’m basically your daughter now!” I point a hoof at Shining Armor. “How’s Cadance going to feel knowing she now has a stepdaughter by technicality? Oh god, and your parents! What’s your mother going to think knowing that she’s technically a grandmother now?”
The thought of being loathed or gushed over—depending on reactions—scares me almost as much as the thought of dying. I don’t like attention most of the time. Sure, it’d be nice to have ‘family’ here in Equestria, but I was just recently disowned! It’s too fucking quick to just get written into someone else’s life! And why did it have to be Twilight’s family!?
As I start thinking myself in circles, I realize that I’m having a panic attack. It might be the fact that I’m uncharacteristically dizzy, or the fact that I’m under so much stress, or the fact that I may have started hyperventilating a number of minutes ago, but something clues me in. Oh wait, no. That’s just me falling off the bookcase.
Color me surprised when it’s not Twilight or Spike that stop my fall, but a great white stallion instead. Sure, he somehow manages to snag me by the scruff of my neck with his magic, but he caught me, right?
“Why?” I ask, wiping tears from my eyes. “Why do you keep helping me?”
Still holding me by the scruff of my neck, he carries me over and drops me gently onto a small pillow. Looking down at me with doubtful eyes, he lets out a sigh. “I don’t know why.” His answer draws a surprised sound from Twilight, who probably expected her BBBFF to have a noble reason ready and rehearsed. “I’d like to think that it was the right thing to do, that I helped you because it’s what any pony would do, but…
“You’re not like other ponies,” he says firmly. “You have a disturbing propensity for violence that you can just… turn off. Your mind is sharp in a number of ways, and that scares me, because it makes you an unknown. You could just as easily have become an enemy.”
I raise an eyebrow, not following his train of thought.
“You could’ve run the day you woke up in your own body again—fled to the farthest reaches of the world, and nopony would ever find you if you didn’t want them to.” He surprises me by gently brushing a hoof through my mane. Even more surprising, I find myself reflexively leaning into the touch, like some sort of cat. “Instead, you were horrified enough by what you’d done that you, knowing who I was, confessed in search of penance. You try to act with honor.”
I bob my head at that. That much makes sense. “And why use your genes instead of somepony else? Even the doctor could’ve been the donor.”
He smiles, but there’s guilt on his face. “Let’s just say that some ponies in the guard weren’t exactly impressed that I was having you watched, despite being cleared...” He turns to Twilight and begins walking away. “At least with you effectively being a blood relative, I can have you watched without as much scrutiny.”
The corner of his mouth twitches, as though to strangle a grin. “You’ve got talent. Imagine how strong you might become with our bloodline running through you,” he says with a laugh as he nods toward Twilight. “Besides, with your cutie mark, I thought it’d be amusing.”
I look down at my bandaged flank. I’ve seen the mark that would’ve killed me, and I kinda see his humor. His mark is an navy kite shield with a magenta star crest, topped by three stars. My mark is an navy kite shield shattered into four large pieces, a silver drop of water emblazoned across the whole.
“The Prince of Shields takes the Breaker Maiden as his own,” I finally muse aloud as he reaches the door. “Sounds like you just want to see what I can do, too.” It brings a smile to my face. Kinda Goku-esque in a way; like he just wants a challenge. “Just don’t expect me to call you Daddy.”
~ 2 ~
The next few weeks so goes by really slowly for me. Twilight is gone along with the princesses on a trip to Ponyville so that Lyra can finally introduce the show to them. Maybe, between those three, somepony might figure out how the existence of Friendship is Magic is even possible, or how Lyra even came into possession of the laptop in the first place.
Ideally, I might’ve gone along with her, but I know for a fact that I’m still not wanted in Ponyville right now. Not after the stunt I pulled. Better I take the time to continue my exercise and studies than to get into a fight when I can barely use intentional magic at all. Besides, the wounds are still too fresh.
So that’s what I do.
While I’m still recovering from magical burnout, most of my magic related studies are theory-based, rather than practical. I’m starting to understand things more, so the number of spell books that allow me to read their contents has increased by a fair margin. While I won’t be able to do too much, I’ll be able to read about more than just prestidigitation and light spells, which I still need an opportunity to practice. Elemental spells seem like a good place to start. Hehehe… fire.
The exercises my guard shadow puts me through, on the other hand, are a bit difficult when my bandaged hind-end limits my range of movement. As I am, I probably won’t be dressed up in armor any time soon—it’s ludicrous to think they’d even make plate mail in a foal’s size—but learning to maneuver like this would give me a good gist of what it’s like to move in armor.
To that end, he has me running sprints between two points with a weighted saddle-bag draped over my back, dodging stunning spells—though why he keeps screaming “Dodge!” is beyond me—and practicing bucking. Each day, I’m moving a bit better, but I end each night with a bit more soreness. Going to bed tired is fine; waking up sore? Not so much.
So, for two weeks, it’s a routine. I wake, bathe, eat, study, exercise, eat, and go to bed exhausted. I’d love it if I had access to a hot-spring, but this routine is good. It’s normal. I love it.
Eventually, I check in with the doctor that’s been caring for me during my last few hospital stints. A few check-ups and tests, and I’m cleared to start using my horn again, albeit with the express instruction to, and I quote, “Not do whatever idiotic thing you did to burn yourself out that badly again.”
Maybe Twilight was onto something with the reading, or perhaps magic works similar to Saiyan physiology, and the closer a unicorn gets to complete magical burnout, the more powerful they grow, but it’s kinda amazing. Light and prestidigitation come much easier than I expect. Before long, I’m conjuring up tiny pony figurines or images on my hoof, even if they only last as long as the spell is channeled.
I guarantee that I tried to convince my watcher to teach me a stunning spell so that I can do a bit of target practice—I am getting restless here, after all—but he seems to think my mentor should give permission. He’s probably just being condescending because I look like a foal. But hey; if I get into trouble that could be prevented with a stunner, the resulting mess wouldn’t be entirely my fault.
Towards the end of week three, Twilight returns. There’s a look about her as if she has questions but is too afraid to ask. Honestly I can’t be sure whether she’s concerned about my mental state for having been watching a show intended for little girls, or if she just doesn’t know what to do with me. I completed the workload she’d left me. Lacking instruction on the magical front, I may or may not be looking at things that may still be a bit complicated for me to pull off.
Still. It’s nice not being alone in the tower again. Besides eating with the castle servants—I certainly ain’t about to dine with the princesses—and my training, there hasn’t been anybody to really talk to. I mean, I could go outside the castle grounds, but it’s kinda scary, y’know?
Imagine my surprise and displeasure when, before the dawn the fifth day after Twilight returns from Ponyville, I’m woken by none other than Shining Armor. As is expected of a half-asleep pony the size of a child, particularly one being woken by someone they’re blood-related to, I respond like a child. “Nnnn, five more minutes.”
Somehow, the sudden use of magic to overturn my mattress and send me sprawling shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. He just stands there in his polished namesake, looking down at me as somepony might something unpleasant. It’s not until I’m up on my hooves and shaking the sleep out of my head that he speaks.
“So, you want to join the guard, Silver?” he asks in a firm tone. “You think you have what it takes?” He smirks. “You’re going to have to show me that you have even a fraction. Being a guardspony means being able to push yourself in any situation, regardless of your discomfort or physical state.”
I cross my eyes and glance up at my bandaged horn, and then look back to my flank. Neither feels as bad as they did the day after I earned my mark, but I definitely wouldn’t want to try anything more than levitation for a while yet.
“It is currently zero four hundred hours.” He points to the window, indicating the still-dark sky. “You have until zero five hundred to get cleaned, report to the mess hall, and join Eta Squad for breakfast. Sergeant Revelry will have further orders for you.”
Just hearing his name draws up the memory of all the dodging practice the stallion’s been putting me through. It shouldn’t be reflexive this quickly, but merely imagining the word “Dodge!” in his voice has me primed to move. Alas, when it’s move or get dropped like a sack of doorknobs, you chose the former nine times out of ten.
I nod, wiping at my eyes with a hoof, and then stop to think. After a moment, I bring that hoof up in salute, and answer him, “Sir, yes sir!”
“Dismissed!” he replies with the barest trace of a smile as I spin on my hoof and book it for the shower.
By now, I’m used to bathing myself as a pony with or without magic, but I definitely prefer being able to rub the shampoo in with a sponge I’m levitating rather than holding with a hoof. There’s something soothing about hot water cascading down my body and coat, and it’s easy to lose track of time.
That said, I’m out of the shower and dry with plenty of time to spare. This time, I don’t even bother to put bandages over my burned flank or slightly-scorched horn. I don’t know what Shining or the Sergeant have planned for me, but if it’s anything like I’m imagining—possibly shadowing the Sergeant’s squad on patrol—it’ll be better to have full range of movement.
Finding my way to the mess hall takes a bit more time than I’d have liked, but it’s surprising that it’s not hard to find the Sergeant in the mess. Even though I’ve never seen him without the armor enchantments, a pale green unicorn with a short cropped purple mane somehow… fits.
Now, you gotta understand. Out in public, a small pony like me doesn’t draw any looks. Just a foal, ponies might think. Here though, in the middle of the most guards I’ve ever seen in one place, however I draw a lot of looks.
I can even imagine two separate streams of thought making its way through the ranks. If the whispers are any indication, some of the ponies that witnessed my practice with Twilight are present, so that’s one stream of consciousness out of the way. The other obvious choice is “Is this foal lost?”
Who cares about what they think, though? I put all of it aside and make my way straight for the table headed by Revelry. With a salute and a gentle clomp of my hooves, I state as loud as is appropriate as possible for the mess, “Silver Penance reporting per Captain Shining Armor’s orders, Sergeant.”
One of the ponies at the table, a bat pony mare, snorts. “D’ja pick that name yerself, FNG?” she brushes a red-streaked section of navy mane out of her eyes. Something about her accent strikes me as familiar. Not Scottish or Irish… Newfoundland? No...
Her expression shifts into disgust when I give a halting nod. “Ye say it with a sense of duty, like it’s yer purpose or summat. Some fuckin’ presumptuous, ain’t ye?”
“Cool it, Eve.” Another, a pegasus who looks like he could bench press a steel beam twice his size, speaks up. “You read the same dossier the rest of us did. Ain’t been a pony more than a month, lost it all, an’ look at her now.”
A third nods. “Not saying she chose her name to give her purpose, but if she has something to work towards, what’s the harm?”
The bat horse, Eve—is that short for something?—scoffs. “Sure, the wee urchin’s all cutesy ‘I’m Silver Penance, I wanna help ponies!’ now,” she replies, banging a hoof down on the table, “but how’s about when she’s fucked half the guard and decided her penance is up? She gonna keep playin’ nice, or she gonna turn on us like she did the Cap’n’s sister?”
I’m not sure what’s the worst part of any of what she just said. I mean, yeah, implying I plan on sleeping my way up the ranks is pretty fucking out-there for somepony who’s had sex all of once, and not even in her own body. Using the lowest moment in my life to make a dig at me, though?
Even as my ears reflexively fold back and my eyes water, I look the mare in the eyes with as much malice as I can muster. “What’s your problem? Why in the hell would I go and fuck half the guard, b’y?” I inwardly cringe as a bit of old Cape Breton twang slips into my voice. Is it because she reminds me of those years I spent there? Am I mimicking her mannerisms just to mock her? “Nah. Lookin’ at you, ain’t worked out so well, seein’ as yer still a fuckin’ squaddie.”
I point a hoof at her and smirk. “‘sides, I’m small’n’tight; they’d probably be lookin’ to move on’ up from yer loose’n’baggy cunt.” I turn away, making an effort to lose the accent. “I respect myself too much for that.”
If not for the fact that the buff pegasus practically seizes her by one of her withers, I’m pretty sure I’d be picking my teeth off of the mess hall floor right about now. Her teal eyes are alight with… something, and it’s not hard to imagine them practically glowing with demonic fervor.
After but a few minutes of absolute silence in the mess, Eve snorts and looks away. Situation… defused? Okay, maybe not, but I could swear that the corner of her mouth is struggling not to turn up.
With that out of the way with, the sergeant quickly introduces me to the rest of Eta. The bit—er, bat is Master Corporal Evening Script. The pegasus that came to my defense is Corporal Strongwind. Besides that, there’s a bookish earth pony, Private Specks, and another pegasus, Private Stonefeather.
“Silver here is going to be working with us for the next month,” Revelry says, giving Eve a warning look. “She’ll be training with us, eating with us, and going on patrols with us five days a week, dawn to dusk.”
Eve is practically beaming at this news, and for some reason, I imagine that I’m in for a world of hurt if she ever gets her hooves on me.
“She’ll also be bunking with us on those days she’s with us.” He looks to me, and adds. “Go grab some chow, rook. We may be instructed to treat you like a foal ride-along in public, but everywhere else you’ll be treated like any other guard. Got something special in mind for you today.”
In the dining chamber of the alicorn sisters, just past dawn, Princesses Celestia and Luna ate their respective breakfasts and suppers. Neither was very lively on this particular morning, but that was often the case at the end of one’s day and the beginning of the other’s. But all the same, food was the last thing on their minds.
“Has there been any progress in changing his mind?” Celestia asked, prodding a stack of pancakes with a disinterested look. “Silver needs to study under her assigned mentor until she’s ready to integrate with Equestrian society, not swept off on a protective whim.”
Removing her crown, Luna swirled her wine glass. “Nay, dear sister,” she replied. “Shining Armor has been quite firm in his decision.” Sipping her wine, she looked to her sister. “You could order him to end this charade; she’s not ready for this.”
Celestia nodded, but frowned. “I certainly could, but it would be counterproductive at this point.” With a huff, she pushed the pancakes away. “He’s yet to assign his successor and finalize his full transfer to the Crystal Empire under Cadance. That means that acting against him now would be doubly harmful. It would discredit him in the eyes of those serving under him, and would sour the overall opinion of his replacement.”
Their eyes flicked to the pairs of personal guards at the door. The stoic demeanor of the guards didn’t waver in the slightest, but both princesses knew well enough that their discussion had rattled them. Rarely did they ever pay such close attention to mealtime discussions between the princesses.
With a tilt of her head, Celestia looked back to her sister. “I’m not about to abuse my power over this, regardless of what I’d like,” she said with poise and dignity that befit her station. “The laws are clear in many senses, and he does have claim over her by blood. At this point, we can only hope that he makes the right choices.”
It caught the elder sister by surprise when the younger shook her head. “Nay. We… I stand by what I said. Silver Penance isn’t ready to be in the guard.” She tipped back her wine glass and drained it, a sour look on her face. “I don’t think she ever will be. She may be doing better than when I helped her preserve what was left of her mind, but in some ways she’s worse off.”
This brought an arch to Celestia’s eyebrow. It had been some time since Luna had spoken so freely of the mental state of another. She’d not done so of her own volition since before her banishment.
“Every night since she met with her parents, she’s had nightmares I cannot soothe,” she said bitterly. “Each night, they get worse, and they always end the same. I fear the call of darkness in her.”
~ 3 ~
If there’s one thing I’m starting to hate, it’s that fucking bat pony, Evening Script. Dunno what her beef with me is, because Strongwind insists he’s never seen her like that before. She’s absolutely relentless, though. Even when she keeps her distance, I can feel her eyes on me. Perhaps I’d best watch my back for daggers.
At least she’ll have to work to get at my back now. Three days ago, Sergeant Revelry told me he had something special in mind for me. Sure as shit, after chow, he took me down to the armory and had one of the armorers enchant a red set of copper training plate mail, complete with galea, with a scaling and lightening enchantment. It doesn’t have the same uniformity enchantment as the stuff the legitimate guards wear, but it does use my mane color for the crest, which gives it a silver-blue stripe pattern. Almost makes up for looking like a red-shirt.
I’m definitely glad that he had me working out with my movements restricted before, but the armor’s still somewhat difficult to move in; it’s so restrictive! If not for how grateful I am to have armor—and it is a godsend in sparring—I’d have asked for something a bit lighter, like a gambeson and mail. Eh, I’ll take what I get.
Still don’t know how to feel about the tower shield and the sword he assigned me to train with. I mean, the sword is as long as a full grown stallion. Even with the scaling enchantment on the shield, it’s strange wielding a weapon more than twice as long as I am. Honestly, I don’t know if he’s fucking with me, or seeing how far he can push me until I push back.
Jokes on him; I’m up for the challenge. Though a bit cumbersome, the sword isn’t too heavy to wield at the same time as the shield, and it does give me a bit of extra reach. Good magical exercise, too! I’ll probably have to work hard to get all the forms he’s drilling me in down.
That’s why I’m to have my first spar against Evening Script today. It’ll be nice to maybe work out some of the aggression she has toward me, but even if she doesn’t at least learn to tolerate me, I’d like just the chance to wipe that smug look off her face.
I mean, I never even get to see her training during weapon drills. Whereas I can see Strongwind and Stonefeather train with wingblades, and watch the graceful spear dance of Specks, I never even see her! Where’s she get off being so critical of me when she seems like a big slacker?
But here she stands across from me in the practice field, just smirking at me. Unlike the others, she’s outfitted in armor more befitting the night—a dark metal with the same draconic look Luna’s personal guards wore when they accompanied her to Ponyville. Perhaps it’s the difference between day and night, so to say.
“So, FNG, you wanna find out why you ain’t ready to be a guard?” she jeers, fanning her wings out with a look of pride.
I shrug, rolling my neck in my armor, and then draw my oversized sword. Looking to Sergeant Revelry, I ask, “So how’s this work, Sarge? Do we just go at it until one of us can’t continue?”
The stallion smiles. “You fight for three rounds, regardless of wins or losses. Getting downed ends a round. Your sword will be magically blunted for sparring.” Without even looking at the blade in front of me, he discharges a spell into it. Looking to Eve, he adds, “This is a practice fight, Eve. Remember that. I better not find you have any unfriendly toys on you.”
Despite him being her superior officer, she rolls her eyes. Still, I watch her hand off a bandoleer of something to him. “Yah, I got it. Non-lethal. I’m not a ‘tard, Sarge.”
That’s yet to be seen, I think to myself.
On “Go!”, Evening shoots into the air, flitting about wildly. Despite wearing plate, she flies like it’s no hindrance at all. Or an insect to be swatted out of the sky.
Though I try my best to keep her in my sight, she’s content to keep me off balance. Still, she’s a bat pony and unarmed. That means she probably specializes in hoof-to-hoof. That means as long as I don’t go anywhere, she’s gotta come to me.
Instead of trying to dizzy myself trying to track her with my eyes, I brace myself and levitate the shield off my back before closing my eyes. Whereas my eyes are slow, I can get a good grasp of her position by passively reaching out to feel the magic around me.
Sure enough, she’s like a bright flare in the darkness, but there’s something not right. Eve’s kinda… spotty around her armor, and then one of those spots kinda just flies off at me.
I’m too perplexed by what I perceive to bring my shield to bear in time. My eyes snap open in time just to see a strange sheet of paper wrap around my horn. As it begins to smoke, I panic, and then…
“Lessons one and two, FNG!” Eve declares a few minutes later as the ringing in my ears dies down. I still have to blink a couple of times before I can actually make out her face as she stands above my prone form. “Just because a pony appears unarmed, do not assume they are harmless; they could have hidden weapons. Similarly, do not dismiss the idea of magic because a pony is not a unicorn.”
With a shake of my head, I struggle back up onto uneasy legs. “Th’ hell’d’ya even hit me with?” I slur, still a bit off kilter from whatever spell she somehow discharged into my horn.
See, that’s the thing about unicorns. If you so much as tap their horn while they’re channeling one spell, you can usually stop them cold. When they’re channeling multiple levitation spells in addition to magic sense like I was? A migraine is not off the table. Stun spell to the horn? Yeah, you’re gonna be out for a few.
While Evening Script isn’t as forthcoming about her attack, Strongwind is more than happy to fill in the blank. “Spell tags,” he says from the sidelines, suppressing a chuckle. “It’s not unlike enchantment, in that a spell matrix is written on a sheet of adhesive spell paper. Eve loves them. Gives a fair chance against unicorns.”
That explains the mark of a burning sheet of paper with runic markings.
Eve smirks at me, but she places a steadying hoof on my withers. “The difference between a spell tag and an enchantment is that the spell and adhesive on the tag only become active once it has mana channeled into it by any user. Depending how much mana is dumped in, the fuse is either longer or slower.”
Her smirk falters as she leads me back into the training ring. “Ready to get yer arse whooped again, kid?”
In spite of the absolute shitkicking she put me through, I find myself smiling back at her. The explanation of the spell tags was definitely an abridged one, but it’s something I wanna learn more about. If nothing else, I’m thankful because she gave me an interesting topic to study.
“I think we might have to have another go, just to see if we can make the lesson stick.”
~ 3 ~
From the far side of the field, Twilight watched her student square off against the bat pony. She was impressed at the ease with which Penny had taken to wielding both the longsword and shield. From personal experience, she knew that much of the equipment the guard used was by no means light, but she wielded the blade as she might a quill. A humorous sight, to be sure, but still impressive progress in such short time.
It was an active force of will not to charge out into the field when she saw Penny go down in just one blow in her first round. She had to remind herself that the small mare had likely not expected such an attack. Even reigning in her instincts—the sergeant her brother had entrusted her student to surely knew what he was doing—she could not help but wince when the stun spell dropped her.
Thankfully, the second round lasted much longer. Silver Penance was a lot more cautious of Evening Script. Instead of staying in one place, the small mare darted about, keeping the shield between herself and the bat pony as much as possible, and parrying any stray spell tags with the sword.
Twilight almost thought her pupil had somehow hashed out a makeshift bidirectional anchoring spell in order to free up her focus. It would explain why the shield rarely ever left an opening. But no sooner did the thought cross her mind than she noticed that there was a definitive pattern.
The shield would occasionally lag behind or dip low. It’d even dart ahead from time to time. Is she taunting her partner? After a few moments more, she cast it aside. She’s anticipating Evening’s movement, but she’s overcompensating. It’s probably an active fight for her to maneuver the shield and the sword and focus on both the bat pony and incoming projectiles all at once.
Soon enough, Evening Script released a fusillade of spell tags. Silver intercepted the most immediate dangers with the shield, and when that was blown free of her grasp, she neatly bisected any that would land near with her blade. While all of this was going on, Eve had shot straight up in the air above her and was barreling down on the red-armored pony.
With a crash, a blue-gray hoof drove Silver’s helmet into the ground. The sergeant called out an end to the round, and had one of the nearby pegasi bring out the smelling salts.
Again Twilight fought the desire to rush out and help the pseudo-foal. Her restraint was rewarded when Penny awoke not with confusion, but a smile—no, a grin—on her face. She was enjoying herself.
At the same time, though, she thought that even from this distance, she could see a glint in her eye. It was a look that brought her back to a month or so ago. The sight of Silver in Lyra’s prone body, struggling to stay in the fight… the look of defiance and victory as she announced the trump card that could easily kill her. That same look was in her eyes as she returned to the starting position, and it scared Twilight.
In spite of this fear, she was intrigued. Silver ‘Penny’ Penance had clearly thought of something, but what?
Reaching out with her magic, she watched Silver intently. Again, she was impressed by the dual telekinesis spells being utilized, but she quickly pushed that aside to look at the third formless spell being cast.
It wasn’t a true spell per se, but closer to personal magic. All unicorns inherently had an affinity for telekinesis, but there were certain feats that an individual unicorn was able to achieve without a layering a proper spell matrix. Some had an affinity for teleportation, while others might be inclined towards transmutation. Personal magic was the result of these individual feats.
Based on what Silver was preparing now and the event leading up to her cutie mark, Twilight deduced that Silver’s personal magic was that she could easily guide her mana into something, as though water seeping into a crack, and manipulate it. It was inelegant, as some personal magic often was, but the effect was no less potent when properly used.
Even before Sergeant Revelry announced the start of the final bout, Silver had filled the air around Eve with her mana; it was absolutely saturated. On the word “Go,” even before the bat pony had time to respond, Silver released the shield and sword. At the same moment, the invisible cloud of mana surged into couple of spell tags still concealed among the bat pony’s personage.
If not for a quick protection charm from Twilight, the ensuing chain of explosions might have brought serious harm to Evening Script. When all was said and done, the bat pony got off easy. She might have a concussion when she woke up, but that was far better than being torn apart by a several overcharged spell tags.
A shriek echoed through the courtyard when Eve struck the ground. The sound came not from the fallen soldier, but from the little fool that had felled her. Even as the other squad members rushed over with a stretcher and first aid kit, Silver was at her side, crying and shaking the larger pony.
“Please don’t be dead! Please don’t be dead!” the pint-sized pony pleaded loud enough to be heard from Twilight’s position. “I didn’t mean it.”
~ 3 ~
“She gonna be alright, Sarge?” Strongwind asked, watching Silver rock back and forth on her assigned bunk. Since the accident, the foal sized mare hadn’t left that spot. She just sat there, cradling Evening’s dented and scorched helmet while she whimpered quietly to herself.
Revelry shook his head. “Couldn’t say,” he answered. Pulling his helmet free, he ran a hoof through his short mane. “Been working with her for weeks, but I’ve never seen her like this. Kinda makes me wonder how much of an adult she really is.”
That made the pegasus tilt his head slightly. He had younger siblings, and while this behavior was similar to how his little sister had behaved when the family cat had to be put to sleep, he couldn’t quite say this was the same. It wasn’t sadness he saw in Silver’s hollow eyes; it was fear.
He too removed his helmet and shook free his bronze mane. The white of his uniform enchantment faded from his coat, revealing charcoal fur. “I don’t think it’s like that, Sarge,” he said with a frown. “Think about her psych profile. We knew she wasn’t the most stable pony when we took her on. She’s in shock and probably convinced she just killed sompony.”
Over the whimpering, they could just make out a single phrase being muttered over and over again. “I’m a bad pony and now everypony knows it.”
Again, Strongwind was struck not by the feeling of sorrow from the little pony, but fear. It hit him, then, what she was so afraid of. Her parents had abandoned her after her transformation, and she could never return to what had been her home for so long.
Though she tried to fit in, she wasn’t properly equipped to do so. She didn’t have all the knowledge she needed, and she didn’t have much social support. Ponies could try to help her all they wanted, but until she could accept that she wasn’t going to be abandoned, she probably wouldn’t get better.
In a lot of ways, she was just a scared little filly. Maybe that’s why Captain Shining Armor sent her here. In his own way, he wanted to share with her the camaraderie of the guard. Shining Armor knew that Eta Squad was like a family, and in spite of their flaws—or perhaps because of them—she’d fit in with the ragtag band of misfits.
“And Eve?” Strong asked after watching the piteous scene for a few minutes more. “She up yet?”
The sergeant shook his head. “Probably be out most the day,” he said, never breaking his gaze from Silver. “Pity her when Eve wakes up though. Vindictive witch, that one.”
The back of Strong’s neck bristled at the thought of Evening laying into the traumatized mare, but he knew the bat pony better than that. She might be a bit miffed, but she wasn’t a bully. She never went into it with anypony she didn’t think could handle it.
Removing his armor and placing it onto his bunk, Strong made his way over to where Silver continued to rock. “Tell anypony about this, Sarge,” he warned with a smile, “and I’ll tell the mess where those kegs of hard cider really went.”
~ 3 ~
I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here in my stupor.
That moment just keeps replaying in my mind. The feeling of self-righteous fulfillment as I’m convinced I’m about to get one in on Evening Script. The look of terror in the mare’s eyes as I pump her spell tags full of my mana. The sense of Twilight’s magic intervening and wreathing Eve to protect her from the explosions. The realization that I might’ve done something wrong… The sight of the chain reaction and the bat pony dropping unmoving to the ground… It all just loops in my mind’s eye time and time again.
“I’m a bad pony, and now everypony knows it,” I murmur, clutching the mare’s helmet to my chest like a teddy bear. Twilight was there… she saw what I did. She knows just how much of a monster I am now. If the sergeant doesn’t turn me in, she’ll definitely...”
The change of pressure on my mattress jerks me out of my self-loathing trance. “Mind if I talk to you?”
I look to my right, and finch. I’ve been so wrapped up in my… whatever you want to call it that I’d completely lost track of my surroundings. Seated on the edge of my bed is the pegasus corporal, Strongwind. So that’s how it goes. They send the pony who looks like he could bend steel beams to arrest the dangerous psychotic midget…
Yet, when I look to his eyes, I see not judgment or wrath. It’s sympathy. But if he’s sympathetic, then maybe he really does wanna talk.
“I guess not...”
With a nod, he slides himself onto the bed completely and stretches out beside me. The body language is lost on me, but it somehow makes me feel… less vulnerable.
“She’ll be fine, Silver’ a bit sore, but fine.” His smile shows no trace of deception, which puts me a bit at ease. “That was quite the way to end the sparring match,” he says, his emerald eyes meeting mine. In spite of the gravity of it all, he laughs—can you imagine?
“We always warned her not to carry so many of the darn things on her. There’s being prepared, and then there’s being stupid.” With a shake of his head, he adds, “That bandolier she hoofed over to the sergeant earlier? Those were her lethal spell tags, so all of that was just her non-lethal stuff going off.”
I perk up slightly at his comment. “She goes around strapped to the nines with those often?” I ask in a shaky voice. “She’s practically a suicide bomber if anypony knew to look for those tags!”
He nods, and a wistful look replaces his smile. “I didn’t know you had it in you, but I’m glad you managed to drop a protection charm on her at the last moment, though,” he says in a soft voice that freezes my blood. “She means a lot to me.”
“That wasn’t me,” I croak after a minute’s silence. “I didn’t even know they’d all go off like that. Fuck, if not for Twilight...”
My whimpers turn to outright sobs as it finally sets in that I almost killed somepony again. Worse, I did it out of petty desire to one-up somepony. I’m being too careless! Too rash! Even when I’m not trying to hurt anypony, it’s all I seem to do.
A nauseous feeling fills my belly as I push away Evening’s helmet.
“I just want to help ponies, Strong,” I say in a weak voice. It almost comes off as an octave too high because of all my whining. “But no matter what I seem to do, I’m hurting somepony. How can I ever be accepted if these things keep happening?”
Much to my surprise, he wraps a wing around me and pulls me close. Even as I continue to pathetically sob into my bedding, he begins to hum. “Ma always told us that some ponies are like hedgehogs. They try and try and try to make friends, but because of their spines—their differences from the others—they always hurt ponies. Other ponies avoid them because they don’t want to get hurt, and they avoid others because they have no idea how show their safe, soft side.
“I never understood how something like that could be until I met you, Silver.” Maybe it’s the warmth of his voice or the warmth of his coat, but I find myself leaning into him. “You’re different, but you’re trying your darnedest to fit in and be a good pony. In the way, you’re putting together a jigsaw puzzle, but everypony has forgotten that you’ve lost some of the most important pieces.”
My eyelids get heavy with every word he speaks, but I cling to consciousness. “All ponies crave affection, even subconsciously,” he says, and for a quick moment, I feel something brush at my mane. “They can try to be strong, or forget to pace themselves, diving headlong into their work, but sometimes, they just need a friend more than anything else.”
~ 3 ~
From the door to Eta Squad’s barrack room, Eve smirked at what she saw: Corporal Strongwind, thrice awarded the Medal of Bravery, cuddling a pony who may as well have been a foal. It was kind of adorable to see how fatherly the stallion could be. If Silver had looked just a bit older, she might have felt jealous of how the little tyke was getting affection from her special somepony, but as she was, it somehow looked… right.
“Well ain’t that a precious sight,” she said in a syrupy voice. “Wish I had a camera.”
Strong’s ears perked up, but he didn’t immediately look her way. Instead, he brushed Silver’s mane out of her face with one feather and got off the bed. “Glad you’re okay, Eve,” he said softly. “You feeling alright?”
With a quiet trill that only a bat pony could manage, Eve made her way across the room and looked down at her would be killer. “Y-yeah,” she said, her voice hitching slightly. “Better than I would have if not for the guardian angel watching over her shoulder.”
Her smirk became a soft smile as she used her wings to gently shift Silver up to the head of her bunk. Though her act of tucking in the small mare startled Strongwind somewhat, but once he realized she wasn’t about to smother Silver with a pillow, he too smiled.
“I wanna be mad at her, y’know?” she said, turning to look at him. For the first time, he noticed that a number of capillaries in her right eye had blown out. “Without even tryin’ or meanin’ to, she nearly killed me, and if she’d been any other hornhead off the street, I’d’a been splattered all over the trainin’ field or whatever terrace I happened to be over.”
Strong nodded walking toward the door. “I assume that means you’re going to finally stop carrying so many darn spell tags into training and on patrol?” he asked, his voice rich with tease.
She stops to think for a bit before shrugging. “I suppose I can just start carrying what I need with me,” she replied with a genuine laugh. Retrieving her helmet, she followed behind him. “Less explosive ones, for sure.”
Tilting his head back toward the filly-sized mare passed out on the bed. “And her?”
Again, Eve shrugged at Strong before giving him a wink. “I’ll make my peace with her later.”
I sit alone in the darkness. It’s all around me—a fog so dense that I can’t even see myself. Occasionally, it shows me things: horrible, evil things that just make me hate myself more. It knows I’m weak, and it’s determined to break me down.
“Why do you fight it, little dark one?” the void teases.
The scene flickers in my mind’s eye. I’m standing in the middle of the Ponyville town square. Surrounded by ponies. Unlike the previous nightmares, I’m not occupying Lyra’s body; I’m in my own pony body. A large shard of crystal floats before me, dripping with blood.
Something inside me urges me to not let another drop spill, and I stretch out my tongue to receive the blood… but something catches the corner of my eye. All of the ponies around me—stallions, mares, and foals—are face-down in pools of blood, but all of them are somehow staring at me.
I fling the crystal shard away and it disintegrates into a cloud of dust.
Twilight lies before me, barely recognizable from all of the stab wounds. To my left, Bon-Bon lies prone over Lyra; both have been stabbed, but Lyra’s spilled innards somehow make it worse. Everywhere I look, I see ponies I feel I should know, shredded like meat.
Contorting themselves to stare at me with empty eye sockets, the bodies chant, “This is within your power, little dark one. Why look away?”
The scene fades away, but instead of turning to darkness, I find myself in the hospital: my former room. It too is a horror show.
Shutting my eyes does me no good here. It does nothing to block the sight of Lyra strapped into the hospital bed, her horn bashed off and shoved into an eye socket. Nothing can spare me from the little nurse’s aid, Candy Stripes, and her mother, Dr. Forceps lying strangled with an IV line.
“It’s so easy. All of those who’ve ever wronged you...”
I’m in the training yard. Twilight, Shining Armor, and several Royal Guards lie there, their heads all gone as if blasted with a shotgun. The ache of spell burn shivers across my smoking horn.
“All of those who would threaten you...”
Now, I’m in the throne room of Canterlot Castle. Celestia, Luna, and Cadance stand—no, cower!—before me. In spite of how much bigger they’re supposed to be, they seem somehow small.
“Penny, it’s not too late to turn back!” Cadance pleads, though her eyes tell me things have gone well past the point of no return. “Shiny and I would love you as our own!”
There’s no control over my spell casting. Without warning, a bolt lances out, peeling the flesh from her skeleton with an awful shrieking sound.
“All of those who would lie to you...”
“Thou wouldst kill the pony who would give you all a filly could ever wish for!?” Bellows Luna. She too is rendered a screaming skeleton before her horn can do more than glow.
Celestia just watches on in horror.
“All of those who would harm you...Accept your strength, and not even the Princess of the Sun would hold fast against the horrors we could bring about.”
Oh God, why is this happening to me?
I’m screaming unbidden, even as I feel the tingle of magic wrapping my horn… and it just dies away.
Whatever might have happened fades into the blackness, even as a warmth envelops me. No, that’s not quite right. It’s not just warmth; it’s happiness. It’s everything I’ve craved since this shitshow began.
“I will have her, interloper,” the void screams suddenly. “I already have a foothold in her mind!”
The last voice I’d ever have expected echoes around me. “Nah, I don’t think ye do,” come the angelic voice of the bat I blew up. “Sure, ye showed her some right awful shit and made some wild promises of power, but just look at the kid; she’s fuckin’ terrified!”
Hey, I may be terrified but I’m not a kid!
“Quiet, you. The dream police and the mental parasite are talking.” I can almost picture the exasperated glance as if she were right in front of me. “Anyway, the way I see’s it, yer latched onto her ‘cuz shes vulnerable, and in a position to become strong. She ain’t a bad pony, though.”
The fog peels away, revealing the empty scene of the throne room, and takes the form of a small horned pony made of blackness. Where normally there’d be eyes, there’s just little yellow glows. The nightmare creature glares at me, or rather, the bat pony looming over me.
“She’s mine!” it bellows, somehow shrinking in size. I almost feel bad for it...
At this point, Evening Script uncoils herself from around me. She trots over to the wretched creature, and just like that, she breathes it in like smoke. My tormentor was gone.
“Don’t worry, kid,” she says, ruffling my mane with a hoof. “Parasites like those are a dime a dozen, though usually ponies who catch the Princess’s eye don’t require this kind of intervention...”
As she starts to trot off toward the throne room door, and the fear begins to fade, I realize there’s so much I want to ask and say. The door opens into a blinding white, she steps through…
… and I’m on my hooves right behind her.
~ 4 ~
I wake with a start. My mouth is dry and it feels like I’ve been swallowing sand, but even as Evening Script walks back to her bunk, I call out to her in the darkness of the barrack room. “Wait…”
She stops a few steps away and turns. Despite the room being near pitch-black, her bright, lamp-like eyes were completely clear. Must be a bat pony thing.
“How…?” I rasp, pulling myself free from my bedding. “That was real, wasn’t it?”
The bat pony looks at me for a few moments, before her glowing eyes roll. “I keep forgetting you’re an outsider,” she whispers. Turning away, she adds, “Follow me. I’ll explain everything outside.”
As quietly as I can, I join her at her side. Despite the torches in the hallway outside the barrack room, I still can’t see all that well. I almost lean into her out of some strange pony instinct, but at the last moment I stop myself. Instead, I pour a bit of mana into my horn and passive magic sense to use Eve as a guide.
After a few minutes of quiet walking, the bat pony leads me into the training field, beneath the open night sky. Rather than go out into the middle of the field, however, she leads me to a set of bleachers.
I take a seat without prompting, noting ponies flitting to and fro in the darkness above.
“How long have you been havin’ those dreams, Penance?” she asks. It takes me a moment to realize that she called me Penance, rather than Penny. And there’s even something else in her voice… Respect?
Why?
“Can’t be sure.” How long had it been? “Almost feels like it’s been every night since the day my parents rejected my new pony form,” I answer, trying not to let the sadness of that memory work its way into my throat. It’s bad enough that I can’t think about it without remembering the nightmares “At first, it was just my parents… but then it started incorporating more and more of my life. Every moment of shame… Every moment of weakness… It made me strong in those moments… A monster.”
With a sigh, she takes a seat next to me. “Honestly, it ain’t that far off. Dunno where it came from or how it chose you, but that was a Greater Mere, a dream monster.” Turning to me, she gives me a grave look. “Princess Luna was taken advantage of by one o’ the buggers long, long ago. You might have heard of Nightmare Moon.”
I nod, and she quickly continues. “Meres prey on those plagued with self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy. They offer power while tryin’ to break their victims down so that they can take control and act in the wakin’ world.”
A ball of ice forms in the pit of my stomach. I thought they were just nightmares, but that was… I could’ve become Nightmare Silver!
“Is that why Princess Luna wasn’t helping?” I ask, swallowing the bubble of fear and revulsion. “Was she afraid it might latch onto her?”
With a shake of her head, Eve looks up to a tower silhouetted by the moon. “She was never supposed to fight Meres to begin with. The bat pony ancients who taught her dream walkin’ warned her of the fact that there are some things that even she—an alicorn princess—could not do. Enterin’ a Mere dream is one of them. Oh, she could watch from outside, but she was helpless in that regard.”
So even the princesses aren’t all-powerful. It makes sense to me on the logical level, but there’s still something odd to see that even their own subjects know that they aren’t perfect. Well, some of them.
“You been taught that all ponies have magic, yeah?” she asks with a tone of ‘It’s a rhetorical question,’ in her voice. “Unicorns cast spells, pegasi can manipulate the weather, and earth ponies have nature magic. Us bats? We enter dreams of nearby ponies, and prey upon dream monsters. Nothin’ like how the princess enters the dreams of anypony in Equestria from the safety of her tower, but close.”
With a smirk, she looks back to me, flashing her fangs. “Funny how helpin’ others gave birth to the vampony myth.”
I nod and stare up at the tower. Idly, I find myself wondering if Princess Luna is up there right now, helping the dreams of ponies near and far. Would she be watching over mine? Had she been watching over mine?
The two of us just sit there together, under the stars. There are so many things I’d like to ask her now that we are seemingly on amiable terms now. What was her beef with me? Why’s she being cool now? Is it going to go back to the way it was tomorrow?
“Can I ask you a question, Evening?” I ask, pausing only to rub my eyes. “Why were you so opposed to me when I got here?”
She turns to look at me, but says nothing for a long time. “Couple’a reasons, really.” Returning her gaze to the moon, she slid off the bench and walked a few paces away. “Could smell the Mere on ya from the get-go, but I hadn’t seen if you were beyond helpin’ yet. That ain’t the main reason, though.”
She looks at me over her shoulder, and I can see conflict playing out behind those big, cyan eyes. “Back home, ponies only ever took on names like Penance if they done something awful, but usually, went back to their wicked ways when they felt it time.” Surprisingly, a tear glistens on her cheek. “Those who’re given that name were always reckless… death seekers, some might call them…”
I nod. “You knew someone like that, maybe even cared for them...” I whisper, seeing where she was coming from. “That pissed you off, so you lashed out.”
“Was me Da. Went off and died like a twit,” she says quite suddenly. To be honest, I didn’t expect her to actually say anything, so I just sit there, gobsmacked as she continues. “You just strut in bearin’ that name, stinkin’ of Mere, an’ all I can think is yer either lookin’ to get killed, or that thing was drivin’ you to hurt someone.”
In the blink of an eye, she’s right in front of my face. “‘magine my surprise when I wake up in the infirmary, only to find out you were super fucked up over what happened.” She smiles at me and shuts her eyes. “You’re not a bad pony, Silver Penance, but you’re not cut out for the Royal Guard. That said, we’ll all be watchin’ out for ya while you’re with us in Canterlot.”
Without another word, she turns on her hoof and marches back to the barracks.
Left to my own devices, I can’t help but wonder… What if she’s right? Am I chasing down the wrong leads? What if this is like Icarus flying on wax wings, only to fall for aiming too high?
~ 4 ~
The next morning, the entire world feels different. It’s hard to actually put into words, but I suppose if I had to describe it… All the passion and excitement of working with the guard is gone, but I’m happy for some reason. Happier than I’ve felt in a long time.
As I bathe and groom myself, I have to ponder it for a long while. Why would having my goal potentially getting kicked out from under me improve my mood? For one, I was pushing myself toward that goal out of… what, exactly? I can help ponies without swearing my life to the service of the crown.
Time and again it’s been made apparent that I’m not a soldier. Sure, I have a sharp mind and a desire to help, but if I freak like that from accidentally hurting somepony I don’t get along with, how the hell would I think I could handle a battlefield? Ponies I know would be falling all around me, and I know I wouldn’t be able to help them all…
The contemplation drags out, even as I clean my loaner armor and make my way to the mess. Even though I’ve been pushing myself nonstop for weeks, I’m no athlete. Still… being fit is important if I want to separate myself from who I used to be.
I barely even taste the oatmeal and wild berries, and the conversation at Eta Squad’s table barely registers at all. I know the others are watching me, but I’m too deep in my own thoughts to care. I could probably pass as a bodyguard, but I’d have to get my own equipment. No way the guard would just give me a big fucking sword.
Out of the corner of my eye, Sergeant Revelry approaches the bat pony, and the two share a few silent words. After that, Eve watches me very closely.
No sooner than I put down my spoon than she says, “Oi, Penance! Captain wants a talk with ya.” Despite the lack of aggression in her tone, something feels off about it all. “Stow the dish and follow me.”
At first, while I’m returning my bowl and cutlery, it doesn’t really occur to me that anything is up. Out of the barracks… across the palace grounds… Even as she leads me into the palace proper, I’m more curious as to what Shining Armor wants to talk about. It’s not until we reach a door with a golden placard that says ‘Shining Armor: Captain of the Guard’ that it finally hits me. It was by my chosen name that she addressed me by—not Silver, or Penny—and for the first time, it’s never felt more wrong.
Evening knocks on the door and announces, “Captain Shining Armor, sir, I have Silver Penance here to see you, as requested.”
A full minute ticks by. I turn to the bat pony and raise an eyebrow. She just shrugs back at me and keeps her eyes trained on the door. Just as I’m about to make a comment about him not being there, I hear the rustle of papers.
A long, drawn-out sigh precedes his response. “You may enter.”
The door opens as if on its own, revealing a cozy little office. Straight ahead is a sturdy blackwood desk, behind which is a high-backed chair that is currently facing away from the door. I step in and my bat guide makes to follow before Shining adds, “Return to your squad, Master Corporal Evening Script.”
Eve stops on a dime, snaps off a quick salute, and then marches out the door. Like a good little soldier, huh?
The high-backed chair swiveling, revealing none other than—okay, let’s be real; if you didn’t guess it, there’s something wrong with you—Shining Armor. It’s only been four whole days since I’ve seen him, but he definitely looks like he’s had many sleepless nights.
Gonna be honest. Only times I’ve ever been called to the principal’s office was when I was in trouble—usually for stupid reasons like reading in class—or someone was trying to get me in trouble. Way I figure it is it’s no different now than any other time.
Shuffling my hooves, I try to stand at attention. “Sir, I…”
“Relax, Penny.” Again with that name, but this time, I don’t feel mad about it. Maybe it’s the way he says it, but it does put me at ease. “You’re not in trouble.”
The fuck is wrong with me? I wonder, breaking eye contact. I hated the nickname, then Eve goes eats my nightmare and suddenly it’s like I love it.
He looks at me from behind his desk. Adorned with all sorts of picture frames that I can only assume have pictures of his family and career events, it’s the picturesque Captain of the Guard desk. Again, he heaves a sigh and looks down at a paper in front of him.
“Take a seat.” I note a stool opposite of him, and do as I’m told. “You’re like a trouble magnet, you know. I knew that going in, but still. Did you have to blow up one of my ponies?”
Inwardly, I flinch. His tone isn’t one of anger or reproval. It’s disappointment and it hits me like a slap. Before I even have a grasp on the words bubbling out of my mouth, I babble, “I’m sorry, Dad! I didn’t mean to do it… I didn’t even know it would happen!” As soon as my brain catches up to my mouth, I stop. Even before I play back what I just said in my mind, my hoof has found itself in front of my mouth.
We look wide-eyed at each other for a full two minutes of cringe-ridden silence. “Let’s pretend that never happened, please.”
Shaking his head, he shuffles his papers. “We can put it aside for the moment, but that is definitely being addressed later.” He levitates over the paper from the top of his stack.
Accepting it in my own magical grip, I pore over it.
Captain Shining Armor,
We formally request that Silver ‘Penance’ Penny be returned to the care of her assigned guardian, Twilight Sparkle. The sparring incident resulting in the detonation of one Master Corporal Evening Script has made it apparent that it is too soon to be separating her from her teacher. Should she opt to continue working with Eta Squad via the ride-along program, she must first be cleared by a certified mental health care physician of Our approval…
Blah blah blah. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Princesses Celestia and Luna
I float the paper back to him when I see mention and explanation of my nightmares. “I know I fucked up, but come on, princesses!” I pull off the helmet and gently turn it until I’m looking at where my face would be. “I was just starting to feel like I actually belong with ponies!” I pause, floating the helmet onto Shining’s desk. “And why did they write my name as if Penance was the nickname?”
He actually looks away when I mention that last tidbit. “Heh, probably just a clerical issue or something.” Looking back to me, he says in a softer voice, “I think the fact that you are feeling like you belong is why they finally stepped in. Between your nightmares and your reluctance to bond with anypony before now, they’re worried that you’re on a path of self-destruction, and I’m starting to agree.
“It’s not guards you need to be able to socialize with,” he says. “It’s the regular ponies… the ponies behind the armor and crowns.” The look in his eyes softens. “We want to be your friends, not just allies for you to die for.”
Chewing my lip, I can’t help but wonder if they’re right. I was definitely hasty when I made my intent clear—I was in a jail cell, for fuck sake—but despite the nightmares and the accident, working with Eta is some of the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Sure, I had bonding moments with Evening Script and Strongwind, but was I following the right path?
“But… if I leave Eta,” I say in a small, almost childish voice. “What about my friends?”
That actually draws a bark of laughter from the stallion. “Don’t forget who decides who has not-daughter watching duties.” While I fight the terrifying urge to hug him, he looks to the side. His gaze lands on one of the pictures on his desk. “Which brings us back to your little slip-up just now.”
“Shining, I…”
“I know you have your reasons for wanting to refuse a place in the family,” he says. “Celestia knows, if I thought I was a character in a comic I wouldn’t want things to go too smoothly for me, either. That always invites tragedy the moment the hero gets complacent, after all.” He smooths back his mane with one hoof. “But you’ve been through a lot in such a short time, and maybe it’d be good for you to get a chance to not have to worry about where your next meal comes from after you’ve gotten your EED.”
I flinch, knowing that he’s making a valid, almost convincing point, potential Sue-itis or no. Maybe it’d be okay to have an easy life for a change. Back when I was a human, the only thing I really had was writing, and that was never going to be a job that could feed and house me. Here, I’d have so many more options. “I could… think about it I guess.”
“Even if it’s not on a daughterly basis, I’m sure Cadance would love to have you around,” he adds with a bellow of laughter. “She could teach you everything you’ll need to know about being a mare, and in return, she’d get a hoofmaiden with the power to blow up an ornery Corporal. You could even talk to her yourself before we both go back to the Crystal Empire.”
Before I can help myself, I’m laughing. Not because it’s funny, but because of the absurdity of making a joke about something I was going to have nightmares about. I’m so delirious with laughter that I don’t even care that my mouth runs on its own. “Daaaad, no. Stop.” I pause. “For fuck’s sake.”
~ 4 ~
When I’m finally dismissed from Shining’s office, I’m unsure if my scarlet cheeks can be seen through my coat. Even though the door is closed and he can’t possibly see me, his laughter still echoes in my mind. Seriously… what the fuck is going on with me?
Instead of working my way back to the barracks, I head off to the armory to return my loaner armor. The captain assured me that someone from Eta would get the shield and sword back to them, so it’s just a matter of returning what I’m wearing. They don’t ask any questions, but there’s definitely a questioning look or two.
The one thing Shining did tell me is that I’m supposed to check in with Twilight.
I wonder if she’s pissed that she had to pull my ass out of the fire. If she was watching, she had to have known what was going to happen, even if I didn’t. Why else would she have acted?
When I go around back of the castle, making my way to Twilight’s tower, I’m given pause. The door is open slightly, but all of the lights are off. Even the ones that would normally be on up on the upper floor where she’s often studying. Worse, it’s too quiet.
Given that there’s no doubt she saw me freaking out yesterday, she might be trying to throw me some kind of cheer-up party. I hope she isn’t. I don’t like parties all that much… and if she wasted Pinkie’s time dragging her all the way up from Ponyville, I’d feel bad. Both for Pinkie and myself.
So like any socially maladjusted human-turned-pointy-midget-horse, I turn on the spot and walk back to the castle. It’s a shame, really, because I actually want to talk to her about this whole weirdness that’s been going on since yesterday… except that’s me lying to myself. It didn’t start yesterday. Since the infusion, I’ve been reacting oddly to affectionate gestures from other ponies. And this Dad thing…
For a while, I just sit in the main lobby staring at a tapestry as I try to figure out what to do. I’m still too embarrassed to show my face to Shining right now, and I’m kinda miffed at Celestia and Luna. Eta Squad’s already on a special trip to see the fillies and colts at Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.
I’m not allowed to leave the grounds without an escort… but so far as I can tell, I’m not being shadowed, and I’m not about to go up to some on-duty guard and, like a petulant child, go, “I wanna go get ice cream.”
Hmm… There is a library here in the castle, but I’m unsure if it’s open to anypony, or private use. Wouldn’t want to get myself in trouble looking into the principles of spell tags using Celestia’s private collection.
With a sigh, I mutter to myself, “Fuck it. She can’t not know about me yet, so she’ll hunt me down sooner or later anyway...”
Trotting up to a pair of armored pegasi by a door, I take a chance on the assumption that the guards know the schedules of all of the princesses. “Excuse me, sir?” I ask the one on the left.
“Yes?”
“Do you know if Her Highness, Princess Cadance, is granting audiences today?”
“Even if they are not holding court, the princesses are always willing to make time for their little ponies,” he says.
I can just make out the corner of his partner’s mouth perking up. “Yes, the princess should have no problem making time for somepony as small and cute as you.”
My jaw drops, as does the first guard’s. Really? I want to yell. How professional!
The first guard beats me to it by reaching out and clubbing the smartass in the back of his head with a wing. “She’s up on the second floor of the diplomatic wing. You’ll know the room.”
I nod and thank the non-smartass stallion.
Thankfully, the diplomatic wing isn’t that hard to find. Just turn left at the lore door, up a trick staircase, and through a secret passage in the garden. Wait, no. That’s my happy place, which is imaginary. It’s actually just left of the main hall.
So off I go, out into the diplomatic wing and up a flight of stairs.
Almost immediately, I know what the guard meant by ‘You’ll know the room.’ I’ve never seen anything like the ponies guarding this one door in the hall. They’re like… an earth pony went and had sex with a diamond mine, and the mine squirted out these shiny buggers. Crystal Empire? Yeah, totally sounds like a place that would have these crystalline ponies.
They’re both just standing there in armor that looks like it’s cut from the same crystalline structure the ponies emerged from. I wonder why they would make armor out of crystal, though. If that shit shatters, you’re getting fucked up.
As I approach the door and the pair of guards, however, the door swings open and out storms a brilliant white stallion. With how quickly he comes out, I obviously don’t have near enough time to react. He bowls into me and I go skidding across the floor before bumping into the wall.
“Watch where you’re standing, you lowly little…” he begins to shout, looming over me, but through his legs, I see the two guards at the door tense.
“Hold on...” The change in his tone is gradual, but somewhat alarming. “I know you.”
I look up into the face of the pony that barged into me. With those golden locks and stunning blue eyes, he can’t be anypony other than Prince Blueblood. “You’re Captain Shining Armor’s bastard daughter, aren’t you?” He looks like he’s trying to remember something. “Ah, Silver Penny. A good, noble name.”
Even though he clearly doesn’t know my true origin, I’m alarmed that he knows of me at all, never mind that I have Shining armor’s genes. For the most part, I’ve been out of the public eye!
With a subtle tweak of magic, he places me back on my hooves and brushes the dust out of my mane. Something about the touch skeeves me out. He moves about me, taking me in from every angle. “A talent for magic of some sort, strong too, if the rumors are true.” Something prods me in the side rather hard—it can only be magic—and then he smiles. “You’ve definitely got potential.”
I don’t say anything. My voice is caught in my throat. The way he’s assessing me, it’s almost like he’s looking at livestock… or a child bride. Like I’m meat. All I can do is shiver on the spot.
Just when I think he’s going to say something even creepier, he steps away. “If you’re ever in need of bits, do not be afraid to look to House Blueblood,” he says in a calm voice, as if he wasn’t just ogling me like I’m the newest whore in the brothel. “I’m sure I can find work for somepony with your qualities.”
With that, he saunters off with his nose in the air and his tail held high.
Did that just happen? I sink to the floor and pull my tail close. I watch him with wide eyes until he disappears around a corner. Did that really just happen?
“For the love of… Blueblood, the least you can do is close the door behind you,” comes a voice from the doorway. “I don’t care if you are going to be a brat a—Oh! Hello!”
Something very pink and nice smelling exits the room, coming to loom over me. “Can I help you with something, little one?” I look up, and sure enough. A pretty pink pony princess is standing over me, smiling. Once she sees my face, that smile brightens twofold. “Oh! Penny! I wasn’t expecting to see you today! Is Twilight’s surprise over already?”
I look up at her, blink owlishly, and then whimper. Something inside me wants to announce that I called it, but the irrationality pushes it aside. “I need an adult,” I whisper with a shaky breath.
Though she tilts her head, her smile doesn’t abate. In a chipper tone that makes me feel safe, she says, “I’m an adult.”
With one last whimper, I wrap my forelegs around one of hers and begin to cry like a foal. It’s wrong, doing this to a stranger—a royal one at that—but this strange mind-fuckery makes it seem so right. For now, maybe it’s alright to not care.
The pink pony princess of love and affection watches me as I sip some tea. There’s a smile on her face, just watching me nurse the not-too-sweet beverage. Sure, she’s waiting for me to open up about whatever I came here for, but she’s patient enough to recognize that my encounter with Prince Blueblood has me spooked.
Why am I here, though? I ponder, staring at the loose bits of tea leaves swirling in the bottom of my cup. I wasn’t here to ‘join the family’, as it were. Was I going to ask about how I’ve been behaving?
“You know,” Cadance says, watching me with a smile, “some fillies used to believe that their tea leaves could show them the face of the pony they’d one day marry.”
I let out an amused snort, and levitate the cup and saucer to the table between the two couches. “People back home believed something like that, too.” For the first time since my ‘I need an adult,’ moment, I look her in the eyes. “The shape or shapes supposedly told the future, but it was never more than superstition.”
“Feeling better?” she asks.
“Much.”
Nodding, she too levitates her cup and saucer to the table. “Good.” She rises and walks to an open window in the chamber. “Blueblood’s never done anything illegal, so far as anypony can prove—” I don’t think I was supposed to hear that, given how quiet she says it. “—but your blood makes you a target for his political games now. Your less immediate history has been quashed, but your magically-induced blood tie to Shiny has gotten out.”
I shrug and join her. Outside the window, there’s a field full of armored ponies, crystal included, running drills. A familiar, purple armored unicorn leads the group. Unsurprisingly, the princess is gazing fondly at her husband.
“Even if he tried something, I can think of a few ways to make him regret his choices.” I murmur. “Besides, I have more pressing concerns.”
I proceed to explain what’s been going on. I tell her how, when Shining ruffled my mane more than a month ago, I found myself leaning into his touch. How Strongwind comforted me with his body. How I was actually starting to accept ‘Penny’. Even the whole Dad thing, which I’d initially planned to take to my grave.
Somehow, it’s easy to speak to her, and forget she’s another alicorn with a crown. There’s no aura of intimidation like Celestia and Luna have. Maybe it’s because she’s a relative unknown to me… or her domain over love makes her somehow more personable.
As I talk, her smile fades, and her brow even begins to crease. Clearly I’ve brought her a brain tickler. After a few minutes, I come to a stop, and she looks at me, lost in thought.
Finally, she looks at me and frowns. “If you were a growing foal, I’d go so far as to say you were starved for affection,” she says. “Most ponies need some form of emotional comfort or support, from time to time. Some keep creature comforts—a favorite kind of tea, a foalhood memento—around to simulate this, but ponies are social beings.
“I’m not the pony to talk to about the science side of things, but it sounds like your brain is becoming more like a pony’s,” she states with more certainty in her tone than her words actually carry. “Have you been getting enough hugs or friendly social interaction?”
Enough what? I blink twice and look away. “Between my studies and the time I’ve spent training to work with the guard, I haven’t had time for something so silly.”
When she seizes me with magic and gently pushes me against her chest to wrap her forelegs around me, I realize my mouth’s gotten me into a very weird situation... again. I didn’t think a sudden hug could ever be scary. I was wrong.
“You might have the mind of an adult of your race, but your body is basically that of an adolescent filly.” Her tone is more pitying than anything I’ve ever heard, and I can’t help but feel judged. From her grasp, manage to look up at her to see a very sad look about her. “You have to treat yourself right or you’ll never be truly healthy! Comfort and affection are vital to a growing pony’s well-being!” Her eyes soften a bit, but there’s a hint of a smile. “It’s probably why you keep ‘slipping up’. Ponies are instinctively drawn to their kin, alien mind or no.”
My mouth opens to run ahead of my brain once more, but I manage to snap it shut before I sound like an idiot. I was going to use Twilight as an example of why I don’t need what she says, but thinking about it, she’s had just as much affection as any other pony, if not more. Studying under the princess must have been a dream come true. Celestia probably treated her like a daughter, and with Cadance as a foalsitter, she’d never have been for want of affection!
I rack my brain for memories of the show, searching for any memory of a pony who was quite happy solitary. None come… and some of Lyra’s left-over memories aren’t doing anything to reinforce my too-busy-for-affection stance. She too was a happy filly, surrounded by friends and loved by her parents too.
The worst part is something deep in my belly is telling me that she’s right. Aside from my work and my training, I haven’t been social at all. Before, I had the benefit of the internet, being able to converse with friends, editors, and readers. It wasn’t affection, per se, but I was happy. Now it’s just… work hard and go to bed.
“How would I even know where to start, Your Highness?” I ask when she releases me. “I have my reasons why I won’t accept just being welcomed into a family willy-nilly, as well as why I can’t stay with Twilight once I get my diploma... but I don’t even know how to approach things with other ponies. I’m an adult, so trying to be friends with foals would be creepy… and I can’t imagine a lot of ponies treating me like an adult looking like this.”
Propping my forelegs on the windowsill, I look out at Shining Armor and the litany of guards training. “My folks were both military, so we moved around a lot. I made few lasting friendships, and it was always with people who made an effort to offer friendship to the outsiders like myself.”
I sigh, holding out my hoof, and idly cast Prestidigitation. A miniature Shining Armor appears, proud and strong. “Your husband is a lot like a guy I thought I knew,” I whisper. “For the four years I lived in that town, we were inseparable… like brothers. He had a good set of morals, was kind, yet tolerant enough of weirdness to be my friend.”
There’s a soft smile on her face. “Sounds like he meant a lot to you.”
I nod, releasing the spell, and watch as the miniature captain blows away in a crystalline cloud. “I tried to lean on him for support in my time of need… when Lyra switched our bodies and I thought I was losing my mind.” My eyes get misty as I speak. “It was too much weird for him, and he told me he wanted nothing more to do with me.”
My chin falls to my hooves as I fight back a sob. This’d be so much easier if I had friends here that I could relate with… but I don’t want to be hurt like that, again.
For a quick moment, there’s a gentle touch to my back, not unlike when Strongwind pulled me close with his wing, but I flinch and pull away from the princess. I don’t want her pity, damn it all!
After a moment of just standing there, trying my damnedest to get over this emotional outburst, I turn away from the window. My eyes are streaming as I walk to the door. Why the fuck am I even dumping all this on her? I barely even know her.
“Penny, I know that I have no control over your rehabilitation for pony society, but I say this from the bottom of my heart,” she says, not straying from the window. “Please make some friends, for your own sake.”
I look back at her. “I’ll try.”
~ 5 ~
Somehow, after like ten minutes of aimless wandering, I wind up back outside Twilight’s tower. Since Cadance pretty much confirmed Twilight’s got some sort of party for me in mind, I’d rather not deal with her. Sure, I’m being a selfish bitch out of spite, but I basically just got kicked out of my chance at something I actually wanted to do. I’m not in the mood to be cheered up.
I didn’t even get to do PT this morning!
Grumbling, I make my way around the back of the tower. Didn’t I close that window before I left on Monday? Looking up to where the window to my borrowed bed chamber is, I frown. It’s wide open. Good thing it didn’t rain; I left a tome open on my desk, and Twi’d kill me if one of her books got ruined.
If I was a pegasus, I’d be able to just fly right on up and go in. Of course, I feel like I’d be anywhere but here if that were the case. So how can I get up to my room without walking into the inevitable surprise party? Self-levitation is far beyond my skill, even though I probably weigh well within my tested telekinesis lifting limit.
I hold up my hoof and stare at the bottom of it. If I had claws like a griffon, I could probably just go straight up the side of the tower, but I don’t. I don’t know any transmutation spells, nor a spell to give me butterfly wings. What I do have is prestidigitation, light, telekinesis, and the ability to pump my personal mana into shit. What can I do with those, though?
~ 5 ~
“Do you think she got lost, Twilight? Spike asked, sprawled out on a cushion, leafing through a Power Ponies comic book. “She should have been here ages ago.”
Looking up from her own book to the clock on the wall, she shook her head. Boys could be so impatient. “Spike, she just had a traumatic incident yesterday and is likely still reeling from the fact that Shiny had to put a stop to his little project.” She frowned and flicked her ear as the loud thumps of marching soldiers approached. “I’d be lying if I wasn’t a bit concerned though. Penny’s usually fairly prompt, and it’s almost nine in the morning.”
The young drake eyed the picnic basket on the table beside Twilight. “Think she ran away?”
That was something Twilight actually hadn’t thought of, and inwardly she berated herself for not considering it sooner. Silver did have a history of running away from her problems. If she thought that something bad was going to happen, the filly-sized mare probably would make an attempt at running away.
Not that the guards would let her leave the castle grounds unescorted. The thought drew her eyes to the basket on the table as well. Maybe it was expecting too much to be able to take her out so soon.
Above the sound of a hundred hooves marching in file, she thought she could hear an odd scraping sound. “No, I don’t believe so.” Shrugging, she went back to her book. “She’s got shadows instructed to bring her to the princesses if she tries to leave unaccompanied.”
That drew a snort from Spike. “Yeah, ‘cause smothering her worked so well before,” he snarked. “Instead of waiting in the dark to surprise her with a picnic, why not just wait outside and meet her?”
Again, a scraping sound could be heard. This time, Twilighted noted a twitch of Spike’s ear spines. “And what is that noise?”
A sinking feeling was filling the young unicorn’s belly as she stared at the door. “I hope I’m wrong,” she groaned, “but I think Penny’s home and trying to sneak in the upstairs window.”
“That’s a twenty meter vertical wall, Twilight,” he said dismissively. Even so, he closed his comic, mirroring the actions of Twilight. It was a silly thought, that she could be trying to scale a perfectly straight stone wall, but at the same time, she had to remind herself that she’d seen some very silly things in Ponyville.
The two made their way out the door and around the side of the building. Twilight braced herself for the worst, but neither of them were remotely prepared for what they saw.
Ten meters up the wall, a small pony hung by her forehooves. Her chest heaved heavily, and both onlookers could see the occasional droplet of sweat fall from her body, which had worked up a fair lather.
With a quiet grunt, Silver swung one hoof upward. Though there were no natural hoofholds for her to grip, the tiny mare found purchase. With another grunt, she brought her other hoof higher than the first.
It was only when she walked her hind legs up to brace herself for the next upward movement that Twilight noticed saw the navy glow around Penny’s front hooves. At first, she’d been convinced that the small mare had acquired some sort of climbing gauntlets, but her gut instinct told her that Penny had done something stupidly dangerous again.
What Twilight wanted to say when she called up to the little unicorn was, ‘What have I told you about attempting untested magic?’ What came out of her mouth, however, was the question that was really on her mind. “How are you doing that, Penny?”
Though the flicking of Penny’s ears made it clear that she had heard Twilight, the rebellious little mage said nothing immediately. Instead, she hauled herself up another meter. “Would you believe me if I told you that this was prestidigitation?” was her breathy response.
Twilight blinked. Prestidigitation? Of all the absurd things for her to suggest, this was kinda out there. Sure, there were multiple facets to the spell, but most ponies only ever used it to produce minor illusions, light campfires or candles, minor cleaning, and warming or cooling a beverage. The only other thing it allowed ponies to do was create a non-magical trinket that could… fit in heir hoof. Even those only ever lasted until contact was broken, though…
“But your hooves...” she began.
“Yeah, turns out the trinkets are surprisingly malleable when I pump them full of my mana and I can push the boundary of size a fair bit,” the mare replied with a laugh. “Create a pair of climbing ‘shoes, pump them kicks up, and then adjust tightness once they’re on so they’re snug.”
Again, the more experienced unicorn frowned. In theory it made sense given Silver Penny’s unique talents with her own personal mana. The sort of effort to maintain the right consistency and flow for just one shoe would be taxing for almost anypony, so how could she possibly have the razor-focus needed to such two such conjured entities and hold a running conversation?
Spike looked from Penny to Twilight and asked, “She did what?”
Twilight suppressed a groan; at times it was bothersome that not everypony had such the firm grasp of magic that she boasted “To use your comics as a comparative reference, she used her magic to create climbing boots akin to Batmare’s.”
They both sat there, rooted to the spot, watching the young mare. It was fascinating to see how a pony so inexperienced with magic could find new ways to apply what she did know. Fascinating, but no less alarming.
“That’s really cool, Penny!” Spike called up.
“Oi, perv! Eyes down range!” Silver replied suddenly, faltering at the sound of his voice. She was within reach of the windowsill now, but... “Can’t just stand under a mare and look straight up at her like that! The hell’s Twilight been teaching ya, boy?”
The same moment that Silver began to falter, Twilight leaped into action. A single blink spell put her up in the window, and before the small mare knew what was happening, Twilight was hauling her up by one hoof.
Though one of the climbing gauntlets had been dispelled the moment Twilight grabbed Penny’s hoof, she had the opportunity to actually look at the other as she dragged the mare in through the window.
The design reminded her distinctly of a griffon claw, but it had a wide ‘palm’ that was covered in a number of hooked grooves—no doubt that wall would need to be buffed smooth where she had made her hoofholds. Magically, it was rock-solid; definitely impressive for somepony of Silver’s limited skill level.
Horn surging blue for a moment, the gauntlet slid off of her hoof and onto the floor with a solid thump. Penny shook her leg and muttered. “Okay, that one was a bit tight.”
Twilight stared as the gauntlet continued to exist. But that’s not possible!
Content that she was not about to send her charge plummeting twenty meters to the ground below, she reached out with her magic and picked up the gauntlet. Immediately, she felt a resonance within it. It was like an active spell-tag, but an incomplete one. Penny had accidentally worked out the first step in enchanting, and in doing so, kept a trinket created through prestidigitation intact without requiring touch!
“Oh, neat!” Penny murmured, blinking and ceasing her spellcasting. The gauntlet broke apart into a thousand motes of light. She swayed a bit on the spot for a moment before rising on all fours and stretching like a cat.
The popping of vertebrae wasn’t something Twilight was used to hearing, causing her to cringe away. Yet Penny didn’t seem fazed in the least. Instead, she sighed contentedly and added, “That was a good workout.”
In the tower of Twilight Sparkle, star pupil of Princess Celestia of the Sun, an explosion of frustration erupted, shaking the entire city of Canterlot. The ensuing bellowing left airship sailors blushing, princesses gobsmacked, and several nobles drafting noise complaints. Yet for Twilight and Spike, it was just a Friday.
~ 5 ~
Okay. Let’s review. What have I learned today?
One: my mind is the plaything of my body. My behavior is, at times, on par with an impetuous child, and the only explanation is that when they fixed my genetics, it did something to make my body think I’m a teenager, thus pumping my brain full of hormones. But hey, on the bright side, I might not be a midget forever. On the downside, I’m starting to look adorable.
Two: I was wrong about Twilight wanting to have a surprise party and it was bad of me to assume otherwise, even if external influences inferred it to be true. In fact, she only wanted to take me out on a picnic off castle grounds. As in, outside the castle, and not in the hospital! Also, I am supposed to be very sorry for thinking Twilight would be insensitive enough to throw a party because I got banned from hanging out with the guard.
Three: I’m not getting into the guard any time in the foreseeable future, so I may as well stop half-flanking my studies for the Equivalent Education Diploma. Maybe I’ll see what Prince Blueblood wants if I get bored.
Four: Under no circumstances am I to casually dismiss whatever positive progress I might make in my magic studies while in Twilight’s presence. Evidently, I accidentally some really impressive magic and I was more interested in my work-out. This displeased the dark one.
Four point five: Twilight knows some very naughty swears and has quite a set of lungs on her. I have no idea where she got them. The swears, not the lungs; pretty sure the latter came from a drifter or something.
“Ow! Spike! She hit me!” I cry out, darting around the other side of the purple dragon to put him squarely between me and my attacker. “She actually hit me!”
The little jackass just giggles, dropping his quill and the sheet of parchment as Twilight once more swats me with a rolled up newspaper. Seriously! I’m being abused by my princess-court appointed guardian, and he’s just laughing!
“That was for the insincerity in bullet two!” she grumbles, cheeks red. Swatting me twice more, she puffs out her cheeks. “The second was for your improper grammar in bullet four. Bullet four and a half wasn’t funny at all, either!”
I flinch, but don’t defend myself. I do kinda deserve this… but still. “C’mon, it’s just a bit of black humor, Twilight.” I shrug and lie down on the red-checkered blanket, waiting for her to actually dispense the picnic food. “It’s not like Princess Celestia doesn’t know you didn’t actually harvest the lungs from some hobo pony.” I blink and look innocently to Spike. “She didn’t, right?”
Giggling Spike intensifies.
She just facehoofs and sighs. There’s this look on her face as if she’s trying to determine if I’m figuratively or literally retarded. Maybe after all this time, I’ll get a conclusive answer! “This is supposed to be a friendship lesson!” She growls with adorable nerd rage. “Princess Celestia would never appreciate such grotesque humor! And stop encouraging him!”
“Relax, Twilight,” I say, innocently as she levitates out a number of wrapped sandwiches. Looking from one to the other, she passes one to me. “It’s not like I’d actually sign Silver Penny and send it.”
She blinks at my words, but says nothing.
Unwrapping the sandwich, I freeze. Instead of flowers and vegetables, as she would usually make, it’s mayo with something mixed in. I give it a sniff, and a tear comes to my eye.
“Twilight, is this…?”
“Tuna,” she replies with a nod. “I got the recipe from Rainbow Dash. It’s a favorite among seafaring pegasus families. I figured you might need some comfort food after Shiny was finished with you.”
I bite into this amazing gift. Nopony can confirm or deny that I moaned. Suffice to say, after so long on the vegetarian diet, I should be savoring it… but flesh protein!
She can only look on with a look of disgust that would make Rarity proud as I devour my food. All the while, Spike keeps giggling and rolling about on the picnic blanket. There’s not a doubt in my mind that I’ll need a napkin in a bit, but for now, I’m happy.
“You took a chance on the fish, you know,” I practically purr. “Thank you.”
“Hic!” Fwoosh!
I look in horror to Spike. Where the bungled ‘friendship lesson’ once was, there’s nothing but a scorch mark on the blanket. “Well,” I mutter. “I’m doomed.”
My gaze shifts from Spike to a horror-stricken Twilight. She looks wide-eyed from him, to me. Even as she opens her mouth to speak, I’m on my hooves, quickly making the sign of the cross.
“Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.” We’re in the same park that I first met Shining Armor and Cadance in, so it’s a no-brainer what I’ve gotta do. I’ll take eternal damnation over a wrathful alicorn. “Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.”
“Silver, what are you…?”
“Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners...” I make my way over to the wall. Before Twilight can even react, I’m on the edge. “Now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.”
I jump…
I fall…
Legs wrap around my torso, and suddenly I’m rising, higher and higher. And then…
“What is wrong with you!?” Twilight’s yelling at me as a guard pins me to the picnic blanket.
“Relax, I was being dramatic. I’m always being watched,” I just stare in the direction of Canterlot Castle. “Besides, the princess is going to kill me soon enough anyway.”
Any moment now, and divine wrath is coming my way. At first, nothing happens. Life goes on, as Twilight, Spike, and my royal guard ‘savior’ just stare at me in disbelief.
Then, ground shakes, and all is silent. No birds… no city noises… Not even the blood pumping through my own ears. Just unsettling silence.
And then…
The most terrifying laughter I’ve ever heard in my near twenty-three years of life echoes all the way from the castle.
“Dear Princess Celestia,” I whimper as the laughter shakes the city. “Spike did it. Signed Silver Penny.”
Okay. You know those times when you do something that you think is funny, but nopony else shares your sentiment? Evidently, jumping off the edge of the city—regardless of whether or not I’m still being shadowed by the guard because ‘Daddy’ Shining is having me watched—is neither funny or dramatic. It’s cruel and stupid.
That’s why, instead of getting a further chance to be out on the town, I’m being marched into the castle with a fucking magic suppressor on my horn. Like I’m actually going to try to escape using magic or something. Oh wait. This is for my ‘protection’, because clearly if I dove off the side of the city, I’m ‘mentally unstable’ and a threat to myself any everypony else.
I suppose not having to wear chains is a blessing. It’s bad enough being paraded into the castle by Twilight and a pair of guards, an obsidian hex nut around the base of my horn, without looking like an actual criminal. At best, I look like somepony being punished for being a bit too rebellious.
Still, ponies are looking at me. Do they know? No, that’s impossible.
Twilight, to her credit, is doing a very good job of not flipping her shit. Sure, she’s almost literally smoldering by this point, but she could be giving me an angry lecture while we go, rather than just wordlessly leading me to my doom.
Well, I say doom, but God knows that I’m afraid to find out what fate awaits me now.
As Twilight approaches the big-ass doors into Celestia’s throne room, the pair of unicorn guards to either side usher us in. “The princesses and the captain are expecting you.”
Princesses: plural. Celestia and Luna? Maybe I actually am getting killed. Especially if Shining’s also there. What if that godawful laughter woke the princess of the night and I’m getting the death penalty out of vengeance?
“If I’m getting the death penalty, I’m coming back to haunt Spike,” I grumble, loud enough to be heard by Twilight.
She doesn’t take the bait, though her ears do flick back a fair bit. Instead, she just leads us right through the door. Spike, on the other hoof, looks at me in horror from atop Twi’s back. “Why would anypony want to kill you?”
As I pass through the door, a shiver races down my spine as a magical field passes over me. I hadn’t seen anypony in the room from the outside, but once we were through, several ponies were revealed in plain sight. An enchantment?
Celestia, Luna, and Shining Armor being here is pretty much what I expected. Seeing Cadance at the foot of the dais beside her husband, however, causes me to halt in my horseshoes, so to speak. I’m not actually wearing any, but it’s a common phrase in pony books. Sue me for adapting.
“Indeed, Silver Penny. Do tell us why anypony would bring you harm,” Celestia says in her usual serene voice from atop her throne. Admittedly the effect is lost when she’s failing to hide a smile.
She pauses at the sight of Twilight’s barely contained rage. Flicking her eyes to me, any hints of a smile vanish. In fact, all eyes on the room are on me. “And why in Equestria is your magic bound?”
I don’t get the opportunity to speak for myself.
“Your Highness, shortly after the young dragon mistakenly sent a letter that was never meant for your eyes, Miss Penny began to chant something before leaping off the side of the city,” one of the guards reports. Fuckin’ rat. “A limiter has been placed on her horn under the impression that she is a threat to herself or others.” The guard casts an apologetic glance to Shining before adding, “Again.”
Except for Twilight, Spike, and the pair of pegasus guards accompanying us, all jaws in the room drop. Celestia and Luna look positively horror-struck, as though they’d never imagined a pony could take their own life over a letter. Shining looks quite conflicted for some unfathomable reason.
Cadance? She surges across the room on wings of wrath. Though Love Horse stops just shy of tackling me, she does not stop herself from wrapping me in a bone-crushing hug. “How could you?” she demands in a horror-struck voice. “You said to me once that you would never take your own life, because your God would never forgive you! Was that just a lie?”
I cringe and flinch away. Of course she’d remember my words from that day. With a shiver, I find myself wishing she’d ask my consent before hugging me. “In my defense, I thought that Princess Celestia was going to kill me, and decided to be dramatic, because I knew those two were watching.” I can’t bring myself to look at the princesses, but even without looking, I can tell my words are like a slap to the Sun Horse. “Even then, I’d rather chance the damnation of God than whatever fate the Sun Goddess would bestow upon me for sending that godawful letter.”
You know, there are times when I wonder whether or not someone’s jaw dropping when they already have their mouth open would lead to their head hinging 180 or something. It’s not a feasible expectation, but neither is actually having to confess that I everything I’ve ever been told about these pretty pony princesses paints them as sort of demigoddesses. Hell, Twilight practically worships Celestia like my folks worshipped the Lord. Is it so hard to believe that I came to the conclusion that Celestia and Luna are basically gods?
That said, when I explain to them the concept of damnation and how I thought that would be a preferable alternative to being potentially destroyed by the pony with the power to raise the sun, it doesn’t make any of them very happy. Pretty much everypony but Celestia looks at me in horror at my suggestion that she’s evil enough to come down upon me with the full extent of her power over a perceived slight.
Celestia? She gives me a hurt and disappointed look.
“I’d hoped you thought better of me… of all of us,” she says, casting a sideways glance at Luna. “How could you think such a thing? Of either of us? I thought we’d dispelled the idea that we are wrathful beings.”
I cast a glance at Twilight. “Ignorance and an instilled wariness of divine power, I suppose.” With a heavy sigh, I droop my head. “Where I came from, the planet Earth orbits a star with a radius of roughly seven hundred thousand kilometers. It’s approximately one hundred forty-nine point six million kilometers away from the Earth. Having not been instructed differently as of yet, I assumed it to be the same here.”
Barring Celestia, Luna, and Twilight, all jaws fall off of their respective heads as I explain this. Twilight, who probably best understands the magnitude of what I’m describing, nearly faints. The elder alicorns, however, pale.
“The power to move such a heavenly body would be positively monstrous,” I hear Celestia murmur in a grim tone. “No wonder you think me some sort of divine being.” Speaking up, in a tone I’m definitely supposed to hear, she says, “It is good that you will have more time to study under Twilight then. We should seek to weed out as many misconceptions as possible.”
With a gulp, I nod and glance at Spike. “About that letter, I...”
“I normally wouldn’t approve of such dark humor, Penny,” she says, sounding every bit the mother figure she’s been depicted. “That said, it was highly amusing in that it all just felt so… out of character to hear Twilight described in such a way.”
“So you can’t turn me to ash with just a look?” I ask, shuffling my hooves as my ears do their pony thing and fold back.
“Oh no; I most certainly can, my little pony,” says Celestia with all the seriousness of a judge. I slowly shuffle backward a bit. After a minute, she appears before me in a flash of magic. As she reaches out to touch the end of my nose, she grins. “Gotcha.”
~ 6 ~
Dear Lyra,
I know that you are probably still pissed off at me for being such an unstable shit and basically vanishing on you. It was horrible of me and there’s basically no apologizing for it. Especially when the only things you’ve probably heard about me came when Twilight and the Princesses showed up to learn about the show. I should have written sooner.
That said, I spent the last few months figuring myself, being a pony, and this whole world out for myself. It’s been hard on me, and probably even harder on those around me, but I think I’m starting to become happy with how things are turning out.
The first few weeks after I woke up as the new me, I was a complete mess. Even earning my cutie mark in the first week wasn’t an easy thing for me; I lost another piece of my humanity that day when my blood ties were finally severed.
Did you know my transformation into a pony wasn’t complete? As it turned out, I still had a few human genes left. Whole lot of familial stuff. Found that out when I got the damn mark and they had to do emergency gene therapy on me. Don’t know who the fuck my apparent mother is now, but I’m legally recognized as Shining Armor’s bastard daughter.
It’s funny, though. When I later asked why nopony was concerned about ponies utilizing gene therapy to worm their way into shit where blood ties mattered, they explained that the legal system has rules in place for just such an occasion. Sure, somepony can get the therapy and inherit the genes of some celebrity or noble, but there are indicators about the therapy present in the blood, so it’s up to the head of the family to decide if the recipient of the therapy is a member of the family or not. I wouldn’t have thought Shiny liked me that much, but it did make it easier for him to keep an eye on me.
That shitshow aside, I spent the rest of that month learning, and exercising, and working toward joining the Royal Guard. That idea’s a lost cause for reasons I won’t get into, but I still learned some real neat things and met some really great ponies in the week I spent with the Guard.
The next two months went by too quickly as I worked extra hard. It was stressful, trying to cram all of the knowledge I needed for the EED, but I wanted to get the test in before the autumn. The sooner I was free of Twilight’s obligation to teach me, the more time I’d have to go out into the world and find my place.
There were a few things that I’d like to do once I was on my own. A trip to explore the world came to mind first and foremost. Braving the elements in a wilder area of Equestria, using only my magic and brain to survive, or studying and hunting monsters sounded interesting.
That said, I also don’t want to be around anypony for my first birthday in Equestria. Even if you see me in Ponyville come October, I don’t want you to say anything about it.
Unfortunately, when it came to study, I could only absorb so much on the first pass. The historical, social, and geographical stuff was especially bland, despite my teacher’s assurance otherwise. What can a mare do, though, right? It’s pretty hard going.
Magic’s gone a lot better, though. Enchantment was surprisingly simple once I understood the workings of a specific enchantment. By channeling my mana into something, I’ve learned to shape a spell-matrix in that object, rather than merely using my horn as a focus; even an object created through prestidigitation worked with some tweaking. After the matrix was set, it was just a matter of pinching off enough magic to maintain the matrix. The end product was even entirely self-sustaining, pulling in ambient energy as needed.
It isn’t perfect, mind you. We ran multiple tests on my constructs, since I learned the standard strengthening matrix, and the longest any of my ‘trinkets’ has remained without touch or input from me was four days and thirteen hours. Maybe once I’m ready for the unbreakable enchantment matrix, things might be different. If nothing else, I could go to a small town and play artificer for bits.
Aside from training in enchanting, we’ve also gone over spell tags, minor elemental spells, lesser transmutation spells like mend and minor alter shape, and most importantly, stunner spells! Finally, I have an option other than brawl or fall! Gotta say, it’s definitely more fun being the pony shouting dodge, chasing around your teacher and firing stunners.
Today is one of my off days, though. That means I’m free to do whatever I want with my time in the morning, with an opportunity to go out into public in the afternoon. With that in mind, there is something I’d like to achieve…
~ I scare myself sometimes… ~
When I was in the hospital and still stuck in Lyra’s body, Princess Luna helped me make peace with the personification of Lyra’s unicorn memory redundancy. Sure, my mind was on stopping any more of my memory from being overwritten, but something she said to me then has been on my mind for a week or two.
“Before my banishment, it was regular practice for unicorn scholars to commune with their memory imprints as a form of enhanced recall.”
At the time, it wasn’t overly important to me, but today it’s the sort of thing that might be pretty damn useful. If I can learn to access the imprint that’s been building over these last few months, and converse with it… I’ll have a study partner who works just right with my learning style.
That said, meditation’s always been pretty difficult for me. I’ve got a mind that can be going off on several different tangents at once, which makes it much harder to quiet. Add in the extra magic sense, and it’s a wonder I ever even get to sleep at night, never mind into a meditative state.
To this end, I’m using a visualization aid to focus my mind: a lit candle. Ideally, I’d be able to just visualize the flame in my minds eye and work from there, but with so much going on in the ambient magic around me, a less metaphorical focus is a better starting point.
Of course, I’m seated on a floor cushion in as close an approximation to the lotus pose as a pony’s leg articulation will allow for, each forehoof touching its opposite back hoof. With my gaze locked firmly on the flame, watching it flicker in the slight breeze of my cracked window.
Before all, there was the flame, I tell myself. An eerie stillness overtakes the room. After all is gone, only the flame will remain.
It guides through the dark, and warms us in the cold. A slight tingle works its way down my back. It is a balance of creation and destruction: the transition from one state of matter to the next.
My ears twitch as the numb tingle overtakes them. The outside noises in the world fade away, and my peripheral vision fades, but there’s still the ever present buzz in the back of my mind. If anything it’s gotten worse. It’s the ambient magic… So close to two princesses, it pretty much has to be.
Taking care not to think about anything other than the flame, I pull the edges of my magic inward. At first, there’s a resistance, like I’m not supposed to be in this deep… and then it just folds in on me, plunging me into complete silence for the first time in forever.
When I open my eyes, I tell myself, even as they fall shut, I will be in the embodiment of my core. There will be only me, myself, and the flame. I know this to be fact because that is what I need this to be.
After a short internal countdown, I open my eyes. Though there is a candle in front of me, it seems less… real—almost two dimensional. Around me, the world too appears quite limited. It’s not my room, nor any room I recognize.
Imagine a library inside of a tree. Now, turn all that wood except for the bookshelves into brick, make it square, and give it a face-like pattern on one wall. Place yourself smack dab in the middle with a little raised dais in the center. That’s basically what it feels like. Now smack yourself in the head, because it’s not a tree anymore.
I’m not sure what exactly what I was expecting, but this just seems pretty underwhelming. Like, is this the best my imagination can come up with? Or is this just how the mind chooses to project the concept of my core?
“Now, how do I go about making contact with… memory me?” Yeah, gonna have to work on that. ‘Head Lyra’ was a stupid name when I was hearing her voice in my head, so the least I can do is give my brain denizen a better name than that.
“Yo. Anybody home?” I call out. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”
Surprisingly, there’s no answer. Unlike with Lyra’s body, there’s no ‘door’ for the memory imprint to enter from; there’s just me, the dais, a two-dimensional candle, and a fuck-tonne of books.
Maybe I’ve not been a pony long enough to have a fully fledged imprint. Or maybe I’m brain damaged. Maybe that’s how I’ve survived this long in horse land.
I attempt to conjure or manifest the embodiment of my memory imprint, but it’s no good. All I can manage is a migraine headache. So maybe this is a bust…
With a sigh, I move to examine the bookshelves. Well, I say move but it’s more like… I look there, and suddenly I’m there. Almost like I’m in a dream, movement seems to be secondary here.
Putting the thought aside for the moment, I examine the bookshelf I now stand before. At the top, I see a label: “Human Memories.” The shelves beneath it are also individually labeled based on category, but what strikes me is the presence of a few books that seemingly don’t belong. Bearing Lyra’s cutie mark and being that teal color of hers might be lending credence to that belief.
Makes sense, given that some of my memories were overwritten and never actually expunged. Why they’d be presented here instead of their own shelves is a bit weird, but I’m sure my subconscious has a good reason.
That in mind, I move to another shelf. By merely thinking about history, I end up at a more sparsely populated bookcase. It has only two shelves on it, and it’s broken up into two categories: Recorded History and Speculative History.
I hover my hoof over one of the speculation books for a moment, but I get the feeling that it’s just hokey old unconfirmed speculation based on the show. The spine on one of the books under the factual stuff, interests me, though. The Mystery of Starswirl the Bearded: Paraphrased. Given that I just read a biography on him yesterday, I figure it’s as good a place as any to start.
I pull out the book, and nearly drop it in surprise when it floats from my hoof and opens by itself.
“Star Swirl the Bearded is argued to be the most important magical mind of the pre-classical era,” the book reads aloud in my voice. “Considered to be the foremost pioneer in transfiguration, space-time manipulation, and teleportation, it’s little wonder why many mages look up to him…”
Even as my own voice reads the words from the page, I find myself smiling. Before the voice reaches a word, the ink looks faded, but the moment it’s spoken aloud, it darkens and becomes more readable. What’s more, I even feel more confident in my knowledge of it.
“I love my brain,” I say with a giggle. “It has given me audio books.”
The book pauses its reading, and then I hear an echo of my giggle. “I love me too,” it says in my voice. “Just remember: if you mistreat me, I know how to turn off your autonomic functions.”
Aaaand just like that, the novelty is gone. I take it back; my brain is a scary place. Please don’t inconveniently make me shit myself.
“Be good, and I won’t have to.”
With that, I go back to ‘studying’.
~ 6 ~
… I’ll try to contact you again if I do decide to swing by Ponyville before my month of solitude. If not, I just want to say that even though you and Twilight are equally responsible for all of this, I don’t blame either of you any more. I have a chance at a new life… a better one where I wouldn’t be persecuted by my religion and my parents for daring to be what I want to be.
Maybe, just maybe, shit’ll work out alright for me this time around. Take care,
It’s a beautiful day to be outside the castle grounds. Birds are blooming, flowers are singing, and I’ve already forgotten how that cliche is supposed to go. Somehow, I don’t think wading through a crowd of ponies whose noses are so high in the air that they can’t see what’s in front of them counts as nice anyway. Hell, I’m surprised I’ve only been trodden on twice.
Still, I’m not about to let these buggers get me down. I’m free of the castle, I’m free of my studies, I’m free of Twilight, but most importantly, I’ve taken my Equivalent Education Degree test. This means that I’m free to take the limited stipend the princesses have so graciously granted me, and start buying supplies for my trip.
I deny any accusation that I’m being arrogant in my assumption that I’ll pass; I went over my memory of the test with Twilight and she assured me I did fine, even if she ultimately withheld some critique. I’m just being proactive while making good use of my free time to do something other than read, practice, or exercise.
That said, I’m still being escorted by a pair of guards, per Shining Armor’s wishes. Fortunately, rather than some nameless red-shirts, I have two very familiar guards along with me. It’s easy to tell who’s who when they’re effectively in what would be considered ‘plain-clothes’ back home.
To my left is the bat pony, Evening Script, wearing a plain gray vest and a red scarf. Is it wrong that I can say with utmost the certainty she has at least one bandoleer of spell tags under that vest? Still, she looks much more relaxed than the last time I saw her, which was literally months ago. Guess me being forced out of the program took a lot off her mind.
Strongwind, on the other hand, looks like your typical guard, with or without armor: rigid, and head on a swivel. Then again, that could have something to do with the fact that he’s out with his special somepony and what appears to be a foal. One merchant already told him he had such an adorable family. Hehehe.
For the most part, we’re just wandering from place to place. Partly because I allegedly got us ‘lost’ in the labyrinthine commerce district. Allegedly. Still, unexpected adventures can sometimes lead to the best discoveries.
Take this book store, for example. If we’d stayed on the beaten path, I’d never have found it, but there’s a shit-tonne of neat stuff. The shopkeep has a few enchanting books that I’m definitely grabbing, a Guide to Edible Flora and Vegetables in Equestria, among other stuff that could be interesting for a would-be adventurer like myself.
That’s not what really has my attention mind you. “Is that a first edition copy of Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone you have in that display case?” I ask the mare at the counter as I set my purchases down in front of her. I then incline my head to indicate said case behind the counter.
Now, I can’t explicitly tell that it’s first edition by looking at it alone, but there are a few indicators that make me suspect that it is. First, the book’s cover is faded and a bit battered. There’s a bit of a sheen to it indicating someone went through the effort of putting a preservation enchantment on the book. Finally, if it was just some random early-run copy of the book, surely it wouldn’t be on display like some sort of prize.
The mare behind the counter, an older unicorn with plenty of gray hairs in her mane, brightens up at the interest in my voice. “Why yes, it is, dear, but it’s so much more than that!” she exclaims, levitating the book out. As she places it on the counter, she beams at me. “This first edition copy was signed by A. K. Yearling herself!”
That bit of information draws one of my brows up. I’m sure we’ve all heard of people trying to pawn counterfeit goods off on unsuspecting customers. Or times where someone’s passed up something as too good to be true, only to find out it was true. It’s at least worth a look.
“May I?” I ask, glancing at the book.
She bobs her head, watching me carefully as I prop my forehooves up on the edge of the counter to get a better look. The shopkeep turns the book and pushes it toward the edge of the counter, flipping open the cover.
“To my number one fan...” I read aloud, freezing as I see the name of the pony it’s addressed to. I go to look up at her to express my amazement, but my eye catches on a slip of paper tucked in the back of the book. With a gentle telekinetic tug, I pull it out and my jaw drops.
“How much?” I ask, slipping a satchel out of my rucksack. With a gentle application of the magic, the paper slides back into position, as if it’d never left that spot.
“Hundred bits,” she replies with a grin. It’s not what I’d call smug, but close; there’s definitely satisfaction in that look. “Plus whatever your other purchases come to.”
I nod, more to myself than her; her tone implies that she might allow haggling. My eyes flick back to the display case, and I find myself examining it with my magic. “Seventy-five for Daring Do, full price for the other books,” I counter, “and I give your display case a strengthening enchantment so that any of your other valuables pieces are less likely to be the subject of a smash and grab.”
This time, it’s the shopkeep’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Demonstration first, and then we’ll talk,” she says with a cautious tone. “I don’t buy that you know enchantment at all.”
With a grin, I hold out my hoof. “I’m sure you’re familiar with the abilities of prestidigitation and its limitation, right?” Oh I do so love the look of confusion on her face. “I think what I’m about to show you will be more than enough to satisfy your need for proof.”
When I exit the shop ten minutes later, I’ve all of the books stored in my rucksack except one. Instead, I’m levitating the copy of Daring Do in front of myself with a smile on my face.
Meeting up with me outside the shop, Eve glances at the book and shakes her head. “I’d’a had you pegged for a Harry Trotter girl, rather than a Daring Do,” she comments. “Couldn’t find a newer copy? Book looks older than you do.”
I shrug and open the front cover while simultaneously grabbing the paper sticking out from the back. “That’s why I grabbed a copy this old, rather than a paperback.”
Her eyes light up, and a grin spreads across her face. “An’ yer sure it’s legit? I mean, the photo would be harder, but still.” I nod, and she responds by wrapping a foreleg around my neck and pulls me in to give me a noogie. “Well ain’t you just a big softie?”
Strongwind nods. “I’m sure she’ll love it.”
Once I’ve got the book and photograph stowed carefully within, there’s only two things that I really still need to get. Even though I’ve yet to receive word on my test results yet, I’m to be out on my own sooner or later; I’m going to need to get an ID so that shop ponies stop treating me like a child. It’s convenient that while I’m at the Equestrian Census and Licensing Building, I can fill out an application for a bounty hunting license, mind you.
Way I figure it, I don’t plan on staying in one place too long, but even with my enchanting, I’m probably not gonna be able to support myself unless I take on a bounty or two while I hop from place to place. I mean, if I can help out the Royal Guard by doing services where they don’t have the horsepower to do things themselves, I could probably earn a pretty penny.
After that, I’d like to visit a blacksmith. There likely won’t be enough left from the stipend to get outfitted with any sort of armor—I still have no idea if I’m gonna start growing now or not—but I should be able to at least get a decent weapon.
Ideally, I’d take another sword like the Sergeant had me practicing, but who knows. A smithy could be better able to judge the suitability of a weapon for a pony better than a sergeant. Maybe I could even find something made out of my namesake. Those are supposed to be good against the undead, monsters, and the monsters who live among us… or so I’ve read.
“Well, I’m done exploring for today,” I say. With a bit of a yawn, I move alongside Strongwind. “Let’s go to the ECLB and get that paperwork squared away.”
Eve blinks at me, and gives me a wry smile. “If you want to go to the Equestrian Commission for Liquor and Booze, that’s fine,” she teases, “but don’t you think we should go over to Census and Licensing first?”
Before I can even contemplate the action, my hoof is in my face. I’d be pinching the bridge of my muzzle if I had fingers right now. “God damn it, Eve,” I mutter. “You know what I meant. It’s not my fault they both have the same abbreviation.” I nearly trip over my next words. “I’m not sure I’m going to be drinking any time soon anyway.”
She shrugs. “Your loss. Now, let’s hoof over these papers and get you legally recognized.”
~ 7 ~
I have just one thing to say about the ECLB. Fuck paperwork. No, really. Fuck that shit with a napalm-coated rake. If I ever have to fill out that much paperwork again, it’ll be picking out a grave-plot in a cemetery somewhere.
You don’t exist in the system or have any identification besides some papers signed by no less than three royals? Yeah, you’re gonna have to fill out three different forms in triplicate before we can issue you an ID. What’s that? You wanna apply for the Bounty Hunter’s Guild while you’re at it? Here, sign this waiver. You’ll receive your bounty card within three business days.
On the bright side, I’ve got an ID now—with my beautiful mug grinning back at me—so if I ever need to, I can visit a nightclub or other adult-related places without getting turned away. Gotta give them credit, though, unless you’re a master enchanter and know how to reverse-engineer the proof-of-validity enchantment on the card, you’re never gonna have to worry about someone thinking the ID is bogus.
Even sweeter is the look of utter surprise on Strongwind and Eve’s faces when I mentioned the bounty hunting. Now that we’re finally out of that fucking nightmare, it looks like they’re finally ready to chew me out.
“Fuckin’ merc work? Ya serious?” Eve shrieks as we exit paperwork hell. She practically pins me up against the wall by one of my shoulders. “What happened to joinin’ the guard? To helpin’ ponies?”
I try wriggling free from the bigger and much stronger pony as best as I can, but it doesn’t do me much good. Pushed up onto my back legs like I am, my rucksack is pinned uncomfortably between my back and the wall. It doesn’t give me much maneuvering room.
“Let her talk,” offers the reasonable pegasus. “She must have her reasons.”
Despite taking the devil’s advocate role, his tone is practically the same as hers. Clearly, they have the same level of respect for mercs. Probably some sort of unspoken history between the guard and bounty hunters or something.
I look away just enough that I don’t have to look either in the face before shoving Eve’s hoof off of me. “Look, you already know the captain had to send me back to Twilight, but you wanna know why?” I have to bite back some anger. “The princesses think I’m not stable enough to be a guard—maybe they’re right, too—but they want me to see a shrink of their choosing before I can even be cleared for the ‘ride-along program’. That just screams to me that I’m being railroaded into something. My stunt in that park probably didn’t help any.”
With a sigh, I drop down onto all fours and shake my head. “I... I just can’t do years of mental health care right now. I need to make my own choices and be myself for once.” I glance at Eve. “I don’t know what the guard has against mercs and bounty hunters, but I just wanna head out to areas where there isn’t a heavy Royal Guard presence and help out where I can.”
The pair shares a look and shakes their heads. “Southern Equestria, of course she’d want to go there,” mutters Strongwind. There’s some lingering distaste in his voice, but he manages a laugh. “What better place for an idealistic little ball of trouble?”
Putting a hoof in front of her face, Evening Script begins to walk away. “If you’re goin’ out that way, I don’t wanna know,” she grumbles. “That said, try to remember your morals. Not a lot down there’s black an’ white, an’ you might find what’s ‘right’ and what’s ‘good’ ain’t on the same side.”
With a glance back at me, she asks, “You wanted to hit a smithy, right?” I nod. “And you’re sure you don’t want to use the one that supplies our quartermaster?” Again, I nod. “Strong, you know the best civvie smith this side of Foal Mountain, so you lead the way, yeah?”
Strongwind nods, taking the lead while Eve shores up the rear. The trip’s a long one that takes us back out of the governmental sector of the city, through the residential and merchant quarters. Looking at the city, you’d honestly never think it even had an industrial sector, but surprisingly, it’s nestled between the train station and airship docks.
Unlike an industrial sector back home, there’s no major smoke stacks or oil refineries or much of anything that’d throw out a lot of smog. There’s the odd merchant here or there, a number of workshops, and a few drydocks for airships. Some buildings seem to be warehouses, with the odd open lot offering the use of smelting furnaces cropping up occasionally.
Even though it feels like we’ve been walking forever, it’s probably only really takes us half an hour. Eventually, we come across a shop-front with a scuffed up sign that proudly proclaims the place to be Smith’s Supplies for Slashing and Smashing. I wish that was a joke.
Unceremoniously, Strong shoves the door open and motions me to follow. Evening, however, makes no indication she wants to be anywhere near the place. Instead, she moves to the side of the door and leans against the wall.
With a shrug, I join the pegasus guard inside the shop. The moment I’m in the door, my attention is pulled every which way. Racks of spears, axes, and assorted polearms occupy one wall. Shelves and displays full of various kinds of swords—scimitars, rapiers, even exotics that could easily be from the Asias—fill the middle of the shop. The wall to my right is full of various blunt weapons like warhammers, mauls, and big spiked logs that would put the sword that Revelry had me using to shame.
Then there’s the shopkeep. I hadn’t expected a pony, but I wasn’t exactly thinking I’d be meeting my first minotaur... surrounded by weaponry. They’re not all aggressive, right? And he’s old, so...
I’m scared, okay? I’m maybe a foot and a half tall! He’s easily seven or eight! That’s several times my height, and he’s built like a carbon-steel tank! It’s perfectly natural to be intimidated in a case like this...
... But as I stand paralyzed in the entrance, the milky-eyed old bull makes no indication that he’s even seen me. In fact, he’s focused entirely on Strong by the counter. Is that a good grin or a bad grin, though? “Well if it ain’t Strongwind of the Steelwing Battalion!” the smithy says with a booming laugh. “How’ve you been?”
Strong shakes his head. “Doesn’t look like you’ve been seeing much of anything these days, Smith,” he replies. “And I’m with the Royal Guard now, not the Steelwings.”
I blink, but say nothing. There’s a bitter look about the stallion’s face that practically yells that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Better to just listen and glean what tidbits I can, I suppose.
“A shame. You were a good customer.” The minotaur smith bangs his hand upon the countertop. “Haven’t seen you in years! Ol’ Iron Quill still leadin’ that ragtag band?”
From the tightness in Strong’s jaw, I imagine he’s probably gritting his teeth something hard. Shutting his eyes, he says, “Iron Quill’s dead; has been for years, and last I heard, most of the Steelwings who didn’t leave have turned raider and are on the run... or in prison.”
A soft sigh escapes the old bull’s lips and he finally tilts his head in my direction. “So why you here, then, Strong?” Smith asks. “If you’re in the guard, you have access to Her Highness’s best, and I don’t imagine it’s to introduce me to your daughter.”
Looking back to me, the pegasus beckons me over with a hoof. “Silver Penny, this is Arcane Smith, he used to outfit the mercenary group I ran with in my youth.” He looks back to the minotaur. “Smith, this here’s Silver. She’s stupid enough to wanna become a merc, but she’s a good pony. Least I can do is make sure she gets equipped by a good source.”
Despite the cataracts in his eyes, there’s not a doubt in my mind that when he turns his gaze on me fully, he can see me more clearly than someone with perfect vision. There’s this intensity about those eyes that makes my horn tingle. Is his vision augmented?
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir,” I say, bending my knees in the pony equivalent of a curtsey. Maybe it’s because my voice doesn’t entirely match my body, but his eyebrow perks ever so slightly when I speak. “I was hoping that you might be able to help me find some appropriate gear.”
The minotaur looks from me to Strong, and then bellows with such ferocious laughter that the bullring in his nose flaps particularly hard. “You pulling my arm, Strong?” he says, banging his hand upon the countertop again. “You want me to outfit this waif of a pony and just send her on her way to die?”
Strong shakes his head, and the two begin to argue quietly among themselves. Clearly, the two have a lot to discuss, so I turn away. I know I should be insulted that he sees me as little more than a child, but the sad thing is that I’ve gotten used to it. Worse, I think I’m actually coming to expect it from ponies. It’ll certainly be an advantage when I’m on the road.
I move about the racks and shelves, examining some of the weapons. All of them seem to be of quality equal or greater than that of the Royal Guard, but some of it seems older, and a bit beat up. Seems that he even buys and resells gear.
That said, there’s even some enchanted gear scattered about. As a unicorn, you can usually feel magical fields around you, even passively, and objects with an enchantment are usually like a bright flare. Most of what I feel is older though, with the enchantments either losing power or so old that I can barely tell what they were supposed to be.
An old, dull greatsword to the right of me, for example, has a layered sharpness and durability enchantment. The durability layer’s all but dead, and the sharpness one’s probably got about enough power in it to cut butter. With the right treatment, however, it could be sharpened on a grindstone and the enchantments relayered. They’d probably be good as new for a few more years.
A spark of curiosity races through my mind as I levitate the blade down. I’ve never renewed an enchantment on my own before, never mind one that’s been there a while, but from what I’ve read, it’s not actually all that difficult—just really draining.
Over in a corner near the counter, I spot a training dummy. An idea crosses my mind, and before giving it any thought, I assume a stance that Sergeant Revelry drilled into me, levitating the blade in front of me. I take one solid swing with the blade, and it does little more than chip the wood of the pole.
“Nah, you don’t want that old hunk of garbage, girl,” Smith says with a grin. “Thing’s enchantment’s all but dead and it’s duller than a textbook.”
I just smile back at him and set the blade on the floor in front of me. Shutting my eyes, I reach out with my magic, caressing the enchantment ever so gently. Credit where credit’s due, the being that set the enchantment was good. Everything’s wound so tight and compact that I almost don’t notice that there’s actually two sharpness enchantments.
Three enchantments on one blade, I muse. Whoever made this must’ve been a master.
With practiced ease, I pull in the ambient magic around me and push it through my horn. Over and over, I trace the converted magic through the inlaid runes and lines of the enchantment matrix, reinforcing and reinvigorating the blade’s sharpness. I pack so much power into the pair of enchantments that the blade practically hums with energy to my magic sense.
Behind me, I swear I hear a grunt of approval from the minotaur. With a nod at the work well done, I levitate the blade up again and gently run the blade up the middle of the dummy before levitating it over to the smith. “Even without the durability enchant charged, somepony could probably get a lot of use out of that,” I say, wiping some sweat from my brow.
A laugh from Strong bring my attention back to the pair at the counter. “Silver, you barely touched the dummy,” he says, covering his mouth with one hoof. “How can you be so sure?”
The training dummy splits apart in two perfect halves, seemingly in response to the befuddled pegasus.
I just smile apologetically to the smith. “Whoever laid the original enchantments was pretty amazing, but that is just fucking wicked,” I say, moving over to the dummy. “If that blade was any sharper, it could probably cut somepony even if you missed by inches.”
Arcane Smith nods, setting the blade carefully on a rack behind the counter. “That I was when I had my full vision,” he says, turning back with a smile. “But that’s the problem not being a native magic user. Once you make it, you can’t maintain it as easy as a unicorn could.” He sets both his palms on the counter and looks down at me. “What kinda gear you lookin’ for, kid?”
Standing up the two halves of the dummy, pushing them together with my magic, I run a lesser mending spell up the cut. It’s not as smooth as the job I did reviving the doubled sharpness, but it’s passable and it stands on its own again. Least I can do after splitting it.
“Good question, really. I was being trained with a bastard sword, but those aren’t as easy for somepony with my frame to carry,” I say. I conjure a small throwing knife with my altered prestidigitation and toss it at the dummy’s head. “Ideally, I’ll probably be working my spells for the most part, so I’ll need to be mobile. So armorwise, I’ll probably be enchanting a robe or cloak in time.”
The minotaur nods. “Something small for someone small, but not a dagger or a blackjack,” he says quietly. “You’ll want something with some heft to it if personal defense is your primary concern. Have you considered a hammer or mace?”
I tilt my head and smile at the thought of me wielding a hammer, although that might just be because I imagine myself dressed like Marvel’s rendition of Thor. That said, it makes sense. A hammer is a close-ranged weapon that deals crushing blows without severing limbs and sending blood everywhere. Arguably more peaceful if you don’t end up hitting the target so hard that you break them.
“I actually hadn’t, but when I think about it, it makes sense,” I reply, rubbing my chin as Strongwind gawks at the repaired dummy. “Can be lethal or non-lethal, and the latter would require less finesse than a sword would. Do you have any that would be good for fighting monsters, as opposed to just ponies? I plan on venturing through the Everfree, and I’ve read my namesake metal is a particularly potent in fighting them.”
The minotaur gets a look in his eyes, and he grins down at Strong. He reaches beneath the counter, and when his hand comes back up, it’s clutching a gorgeously detailed silver hammer. From the end of the handle, a long loop of leather hangs. “This is my pride and joy, little pony,” he says, placing it on the countertop. “Go ahead, see if you can read the enchantments.”
I join them and prop my forehooves up on the edge of the counter. Even as Strongwind says, “Smith, no,” I reach out with my magic. As I caress the head of the hammer, I find not two, or even three, but four enchantments on the weapon. The first is an indestructibility enchantment. That alone would make the hammer worth more than I can afford, but then I see the three interlocked ones spread across the surface of it. On both striking faces of the hammer, there are kinetic amplifiers. One directs kinetic energy in an outward cone, while the opposite side turns it into a spike.
That’s not the beautiful part about the enchantment, though; it’s the final one. It converts and stores kinetic energy from impact, and then the other two enchantments can discharge the energy when it’s at its peak charge. This thing could probably wreck a tank if you hit it enough. It’s a work of art.
I look up at Arcane Smith with misty eyes. “It’s beautiful, Master Smith,” I whisper in a dizzy tone as I take my hooves off the edge of the counter, “but there’s no way I’d be able to afford what it must be worth.”
The minotaur’s grin doesn’t diminish. “Nonsense, girl,” he says in a jovial tone. “If you’ve got the willpower, I reckon you could earn this.”
My ears perk up at the words earn. What could I possibly do to earn this beauty of a weapon?
“Arcane Smith, no! Absolutely not!” Strong bellows, stomping a hoof. “Do you not remember the last time one of your experiments got out in the world?”
The minotaur snorts, and crosses his arms. “This is no mere experiment. This is the culmination of my two centuries as an artificer, Strongwind,” he growls. “So, here’s the deal, little pony. If you can bring me all of the enchanted weapons in this shop, and renew all of the enchantments on them to the best of your ability, and still manage to lift the hammer after, you can leave with it.”
Surprisingly, this actually stops Strongwind’s protests cold. So, he thinks I can’t do it, eh?
I grin at the pegasus, and before he can get “Silver, no!” out of his mouth, I pour magic into my horn, reaching out for every weapon in the house. “Bad pony! Bad!”
“I can hardly believe you right now,” Strongwind admonishes as I stumble down the lane. We’re out of the industrial sector, and back among the merchants and crowds. “You’re so worn out that you can hardly walk straight.”
In spite of how tired I feel, I giggle. “Yeah, but look at my prize, guys!” I say, levitating the heavy silver hammer in front of us. Leaning against said bat pony for support, I groan. “And Master Smith’s work was really amazing! I learned a lot from relayering all his enchantments!”
The bat pony rolls her eyes and mutters something about mercenaries. I have a good idea why Strong would dislike the idea of me going merc based on the short discussion he had with the smithy. Evening Script’s a lot harder to peg down. She’s not the type to open up about it easily, either.
With a sigh, I levitate the hammer back into my bag. My entire body is sore, my head especially, I’m tired, and I’m hungry now. It’s pretty amazing that neither of them have noticed that my rucksack, which had been adjusted perfectly for my frame, is now a bit loose. Then again, they aren’t unicorns, so they wouldn’t really know about it.
It’s the hazard of converting what little stored body fat I had into emergency mana to avoid burnout. I’ll be able to make due, but I’m probably gonna catch shit from Twilight later. This kinda thing is super dangerous to do if you don’t have large reserves, so why’d I do it? So I could get a free hammer and a look at some weapon enchantments in action?
Before I know what’s what, I collide with somepony, sending their belongings—and some of mine—spilling to the ground. Moments after, I hit the ground and somepony’s on top of me. I should probably have been paying more attention to where I’m walking and noticed Eve and Strong having stopped, but my reactions are dulled from the long day and the results of my stupidity.
Just as quickly as the mysterious pony is on top of me, they’re off. All I can do is look dazedly up at the pony I bumped into. Tall, slender unicorn mare, sharp features. The only thing that sticks out more than her really sharp horn, the red fur, or the fact that she’s wearing a nondescript cloak is the piercing azure eyes glaring down at me.
“Watch where you’re going, you filthy commo—” Her eyes go wide at the sound of hooves joining us, and she pulls her cloak hood back over her face. “I mean... are you okay?”
Without giving me much of an option, she hauls me brusquely to my hooves and gives me a quick dusting off with her magic. Not the most gentle treatment I’ve ever had, but I’m not about to complain.
“Y-yeah,” I reply, swaying slightly on the spot. “Just a bit dizzy.”
The least I can do, I figure, is to gather up her stuff. So looking to the ground, I quickly levitate everything into stacks and sort by what had come out of my bag, the hammer included, and what she’d been carrying. Most of the books on the ground are hers.
“Alchemy, huh?” I ask with a smile as I levitate her things up towards her. “Never thought about looking into that before. Is it interesting?”
She looks taken aback when I say it. I don’t know if I’m supposed to have recognized her, or if she too has been thrown for a loop by the voice that doesn’t exactly match the body, but she looks genuinely startled. Hurray for shattering expectations, right?
“Why, yes,” she says, her accent reminding me of somepony I’ve met. Can’t quite put my hoof on it, mind you. “The magical properties of plants and minerals can have countless effects, and despite the historical bottleneck in innovation, I believe it to be a largely untapped resource.”
I smile, recognizing the tone of passion. When I used to write back home, I’d speak of it with the same verve. This is somepony truly interested in what she is talking about. Hell, she’s a bit stiff, but she’d probably fit right in with Twilight.
Even as I gather up my own belongings and return them to my bag, however, Strongwind and Evening stiffly approach. To my surprise, the both bow ever so casually that you might not even have seen it if you weren’t looking for the motion.
Am I in trouble now?
“Princess Aqua Regia,” Evening says, taking position to the left of the mare. “Does your brother know that you are out of the compound without an escort?”
The red mare—a princess?—flinches, and from my low-to-the-ground position, I can see her eyes widen with fear. “Brother needn’t know,” she says in a cold voice, her demeanor shifting, “Isn’t that right, guard?”
Eve nods. “We’ll escort you back to the compound, Your Highness.” I can just make out one of her fangs pinching her lip. Is she suppressing a grin or a scowl, though? “If the prince takes issue, tell him you were with us.”
“Sorry, Penny,” Strongwind whispers into my ear. “I know you’re tired, but bear with us. We’re obligated to help a member of the royal family, whether we like a particular branch or not.”
With a yawn, I take up the rear while Strong moves to the princess’s right side. I don’t particularly mind the remainder of my free day taking a backseat to their jobs. After all, I was pretty much done in the city. If I only have to follow and keep quiet, all the better.
So off we go, worming our way back through the districts of Canterlot. At least they all seem to know exactly where they’re going. Without a map and a compass, I’d probably end up outside one of the foreign embassies again.
Looking at the mare I’d run into, this Aqua Regia, I can’t help but feel I should know who she is. Some weird sense of deja vu... The guards called her a princess, but I don’t think I’ve seen her in or around the castle in the months I’ve spent on the grounds. Does she have her own castle or... No, wait; they said she was outside the compound without an escort. That would make it more likely that it’s more of an estate or small fort.
Then there’s the mention of her brother. So far as I can tell, Shining Armor is only a prince-consort with no other siblings, and there aren’t too many Equestrian princes. It’s possible that she’s part of a diplomatic party from, say, Saddle Arabia, but her Canterlot accent makes it highly unlikely. That means that she’s probably Blueblood’s sister.
If I take the prince’s offer—something I’m seriously considering if I come back—I’d probably be working under her at some point. But would that be any good? Like I said before, she seems kinda stiff. Hell, she’s terrible at pretending not to be noble. Chin in the air, an aura of “I’m so much better than you...”
Nah, can’t be thinking about someone I just met like that. Prejudging someone is an ideal way to get on the wrong side of things. Fuck knows, I’m guilty enough of doing that at times. I oughta take advantage of this and turn over a new leaf.
Once we cross into the district I’d like to imagine is called Nobletown—so many expensive houses and manors!—things start to get interesting. The moment we pass the mouth of an alley, I’m shoved roughly to the ground, my coin-purse torn from the strap of my rucksack. A pained groan escapes my lips the rucksack shifts and I land on a hardcover’s spine.
At the same moment, a startled shout comes from Aqua Regia. When I look up, I see a pair of hooded figures making off. One has my money, while the other has Aqua Regia’s stack of alchemy books; both are unicorns and they’re headed back in the direction we came from.
“After them, you dolts!” she bellows at the top of her lungs. “Those are my belongings!”
“It’s your call,” Strong says to Eve, cringing at the loudness of our noble hitchhiker. “Procedure says we should get the VIP somewhere safe before pursuing, but this seems like it should be a milk run.”
The bat pony doesn’t seem convinced. She glances over her shoulder and looks at me from the corner off her eye. “And her?”
He seems to mull this over as I pull myself back onto my hooves. Biting his lip, he grumbles, “Between that dark mind of hers, her new toy, and that willful disregard for her own wellbeing, I think we can trust her to get her highness to the compound.”
Evening sighs and crouches down in front of me. “Penny, I need you to go with Princess Aqua Regia and make sure she gets back to the Blueblood family estate safely. If there’s trouble, run if you can, but if you can’t—”
The red unicorn in question huffs. “I shall wait exactly where I stand until my belongings are returned.”
I tilt my head in the direction of the fleeing perps. “Go on. I’ll stand watch. Anything dumb enough to think she’s unguarded has another thing coming.”
~ 8 ~
Watching from a wall beside the alley mouth, I can’t help but wonder if this princess is all there. For the last ten or so minutes, she’s been pacing back and forth in the middle of the lane, and she doesn’t look like she’s ready to stop any time soon. Worse, I think she’s talking to herself.
Other ponies are taking notice of the crazy mare in the middle of the road, too. It seems like every time I look, there are fewer around. Is she scaring the locals that badly?
Ugh, and I’m so tired, too. It seems like all of the energy I have left is going into keeping my eyes open. But that’s weird, because I was fine when I was walking. It wasn’t until I was shoved to the ground...
“Would Her Highness prefer to remain in the middle of the lane—” And spooking the locals. “—or would she prefer to wait in the shade of a wall? That cloak looks kind of warm.”
She gets this indignant look about her when I speak directly to her, in spite of how polite I’m being. It’s like, bitch, you might’ve been born with a silver spoon up your butt, but I don’t have to respect you! Aqua just keeps pacing, in spite of me.
After a few more iterations of her march, though, she does stop and join me in the shade of a wall. She doesn’t look happy about it, but hey, at least the now empty street can rest easy. No princesses will wear a groove in the lane on my watch.
An empty lane...
It’s almost like the princess’s eyes are boring a hole into me. Is she assessing me? Or does she have something to say? Either way, she was probably not taught as a foal that staring is rude.
Why is this street so empty and quiet?
I look around and frown. It’s getting darker than it should be at this time of day, and there’s not a cloud in the sky, either. Something’s not...
Channeling a telekinesis spell, I open up the pack beside me and remove my hammer. It’s kind of alarming how difficult it is just to lift the fucking thing. Even with how drained I am, the hammer isn’t that heavy. It’s almost like there’s interference. The hammer is quickly tucked behind the bag, but I don’t release it. Not yet.
Shutting my eyes, I open my senses to the ambient magic around me. Much to my surprise, it resists. It’s not like there’s not a bunch of free magic around us, but it’s actively fighting my attempts at a read. Worse, it’s like there’s a pressure against my horn.
Is this what casting in the Everfree will be like? I wonder, gritting my teeth. That’s fine. Bring it on!
Reaching out with a bit of my own magic, I snag a bit of local energy and begin to pull it back in through my horn. Casting the mix back out and reeling it in again a few times, I catch something else. Something foreign.
Almost immediately, a wave of revulsion washes over me. Fuck, it’s like that frozen turkey that was left out for a month... only in my brain! Whatever this foreign magic is, it’s so... wrong.
It’s an uphill battle, trying to work that magic through my system. Soon, the pressure lessens, and I’m able to actively reach out to the area around me. What I sense makes me frown.
This magic, so unlike anything I’ve yet experienced, is blanketing the area something fiercely, but it’s not just in the air. It’s in me, and it’s in the princess, especially our heads. Around us, I only catch indistinct eddies through the area, as if something’s moving through the magic.
And the magic is concentrated in our eyes and ears. The hell? What kind of magic targets the senses while also blanketing an area? An illusion spell?
There’s something else out there, though. In the middle of a lane, there’s a shape: a pegasus stallion. I’ve been around him enough to know what he feels like with magic to know that it is Strongwind...
Fuck, how could I’ve been so stupid? Those two would never leave me and a VIP like her unguarded. There must’ve been some mind magic in play, too.
He too is chock full of the wrongness, but it’s practically highlighting his every bone. Rooted to the spot, paralyzed... how much must that hurt? Your muscles strain, but you can no sooner move than you could allow your skeleton to leap from your skin.
“Princess,” I whisper, pulling on the magic concentrated in her eyes and ears. “We’re under a spell. I need you to remain calm.”
Ideally, this is advice I should be taking to heart. Instead, I just keep reaching out, feeling blindly with magic sense. That said, a lot of the energy I’ve been pulling in I’ve started channeling as telekinetic pressure against the surface of my hammer. I don’t even know if that part of the enchantment works this way, but I need to do something to get this magic out of me.
Aqua looks at me aghast. “Is that why the road is so empty and quiet?” she asks. “Is that why those two guards just left us here?”
With a growl, I pound my hoof against a paving stone and a stack of books appears in the middle of the lane, beside where Strong stands. Similarly, my coin pouch appears on the strap of my bag.
“Strongwind never left.” She stiffens at the appearance of her books. “We were all hit with a powerful illusion, and possibly a suggestion spell as well. Strong’s right there in the lane by your books, unable to move or be seen.” With a sigh, I add, “We all got played.”
“What should we do,” she asks, a tremor in her voice. “Miss...?”
Unable to contain my frustration, I am unable to prevent myself from barking my response. “You ask now of all times?” At my own tone, I flinch. “Sorry, you don’t deserve that. Silver Penny is my name, and chaos is my playground.”
Ignoring Strongwind for the time being, I put my focus into finding the mage responsible for this. For a spell this overpowering and dense, the range would be incredibly short, due to the inverse proportionality between spell strength and range that most magic relies on. The caster would have to be somewhere nearby.
Giggling floats to my ears from the alley, saving me the need to start forcing what little magic I have left through walls. Instead, I turn all of my commandeered magic through the alley mouth. Sure enough, someone’s there. Go figure.
“How long are you gonna stand there, ya daft cunt?” I bellow in the direction of the opening. “You’re either here to capture her or kill her, so why play games?”
“How curious,” the unseen caster says. The voice is feminine, although it seems off. It’s not hard to track them once I know what to look for, so it’s easy to feel them move to the edge of the road. “Even though neither of you should be able to see me, you still found me out—and rather easily, too. Quite the pet House Blueblood has acquired, dear princess. Come quietly, and perhaps I shall let you keep her.”
Shit! Of course they’d want her alive. Hissing through clenched teeth, I glance at the princess. Her face is a mask of panic, and it’s not hard to imagine that she’s probably thinking of all the unpleasant things that might happen to her.
I boasted that chaos is my playground, so I guess it’s time to put my bits where my mouth is. What can one exhausted unicorn with a bag and a hammer do, though? Hmm...
“I suggest we do as she says, Your Highness,” I state with a yawn. I might be over acting it a bit, but I am knackered. Releasing all of the foreign magic from my system, I sag against the wall slightly. “She doesn’t seem to want a fight any more than I do, or else she could’ve killed me at any time.”
Aqua Regia gapes at me, but says nothing.
“So good that you are an agreeable pet,” comes the foreign voice as... Evening Script appears on the spot I tracked the caster to. A changeling? Is it working for someone, or does Chrysalis have a use for this princess? “Worry not, dear princess. No harm will come to you if you behave. Now come along.”
I levitate my bag and hammer at equal height as I watch the Eve impostor pass by me. She doesn’t even look twice as I rise and follow, keeping the bag between her and the hammer. No, you’re not going to get another princess to impersonate, and you’re not going to hand her off to anyone.
“Fucking amateur,” I mutter as I drop the bag and send the hammer in a high arc toward the changeling parading around as my friend. “Surprise, motherfucker!”
The hammer slams down into ‘Eve’s’ back. A bright flash comes from the hammer on impact, and the faux bat pony collapses to the ground. Paving stones shatter and a crater forms beneath her.
A line of green flame shimmers down the changeling’s form as it reverts to its natural, chitinous form. All around its midsection, particularly in the crushed section of chitin on its back, a viscous green fluid oozes out, creating a macabre scene to be sure.
Satisfied that my work is done, I pull my hammer—still dripping a viscous green liquid—back to me. My magic runs out just in time to drop the hammer into my outstretched hooves. As heavy as it is, I topple to the ground, cradling it.
A tired laugh escapes my mouth as all the day’s energy expenditure washes over me. I look dizzily over to the horror-struck princess with a smirk. “Ooops,” I murmur as the world around me brightens. I hug my hammer close and begin to roll around. “Bug horse go squish!”
A groan from nearby draws my attention. Without ceasing my antics, I look in that direction to see Strongwind rubbing his head. “Ugh, what in Equestria happ—” He looks down at the most-likely-dead changeling, and then looks at me. “Well then...”
After a moment of silence, a crowd begins to form. Nobles, couriers and the like all begin to ask questions. ‘Is it dead?’ ‘Is there another invasion?’ ‘Are we safe?’ At least two ponies run off screaming for guards.
Finally, the red princess snaps out of her shock and approaches Strongwind. “Is she alright?” she asks, throwing a furtive glance in my direction.
There’s no answer from Strong; he’s too busy staring at the changeling. “I think she killed it,” he mutters just loud enough for me to hear. “If she okay now, she won’t be later.”
He gives Aqua an apologetic look. “I’d hate to impose on you, Your Highness, but could you put her on my back?” Again, he glances at me with worry. “We should get you and her somewhere safe before the gravity of what just happened kicks in.”
I go limp as something seizes me by the back of my neck. Even if it wasn’t an instinctual response, I’m still cognizant enough to recognize that if I’m getting a ride, I can’t roll around. In the blink of an eye, I’m seated on his back. I don’t let go of the hammer, though. Oh no. This is mine! You can’t have it!
The real Evening Script touches down as a group of Royal Guards push through the crowd. My eyes are drawn to the changeling as the guards surround it. Its legs are—were—longer than that of an average pony, and its body leaner. There’s what looks like hair, but overall looks to be more fin-like in nature. The horn is curved and short. Not just a drone, but sure as hell not the queen.
Evening Script takes in the scene—me on Strong’s back with my hammer, a horrified princess, and the dead changeling—and frowns. “Would’ve been nice if ye’d left it alive,” she says, looking straight at me. “Not often we get a chance at interrogating one of Chrysalis’s infiltrators.”
She grabs my rucksack with her teeth and joins us. “Nothing for it, I suppose.” Looking to Strongwind, she adds, “And I want a full report on the incident on Sergeant Revelry’s desk by morning.”
I should’ve known it the moment the changeling spoke to me that it wasn’t some mindless drone... some puppet. It was curious—sapient, even—and I turned its guts into mush.
From my position atop Strongwind’s back, I have to make a conscious effort not to move or make a sound. It sounds harder than it is, even given my condition. See, the trick here is that I’ve basically wrapped myself around the murder weapon, clutching it tightly to my chest like a doll.
It’s a reminder that I have so much more to learn. Not just about magic, but about my own strength. The hammer’s enchantment directs stored energy into a force multiplier reflective of the energy stored. Either I’d stored more kinetic energy through gripping it than I thought, or I swung harder than I should’ve. I didn’t want to kill it.
So, for the better part of an hour, that’s what I do. I die inside and I know things. I know that I should talk to somepony—anypony—about what happened today. I know that ponies are disappointed in me, or will be disappointed in me.
I know these things, but I don’t act, because I’m scared. Twilight’s my mentor, but she’s still leery of me because I lost my mind and tried to kill her, and then accidentally almost killed her in the middle of a lesson. The fuck is she going to think when she finds out that I used the magic she taught me to kill?
And Shining and Cadance...
I’m not sure which of the two I’m more bothered about being disappointed in me. Heh. At least it’ll stop them from worrying about me or trying to convince me of joining any families.
Maybe Dad would understand, I think to myself, swaying a bit on Strong’s back as we take a detour. He’s in the Royal Guard, so he’s probably had to act in the defense of others as well. He’d probably have some great advice, too, but he’s gone back to the Crystal Empire with Cadance.
But Cadance? She’d be mortified.
Oh Lord, I’m going to hell...
By the time our party reaches the Blueblood estate, I’m unable to control my tear ducts. Hell, I can barely keep a grip on the hammer. My legs are going numb, and I feel like I’m going to be sick.
Still, when a furious Blueblood meets us at the gate, I’ve yet to make a sound.
“I could scarcely believe my ears when a messenger from the guard arrived,” Prince Blueblood says in a measured tone that does nothing to mask the rage within. “My own sister, outside the compound without permission and involved in a violent incident on the streets of Canterlot! The scandal of it all!”
Maybe it’s because I’m in shock, or the fact that most of the runners for the guards are pegasi, but I’m not surprised that the prince has already heard about the incident. Then again, he could also be just saying it was a messenger from the guard to save face. You never know with nobles.
I glance from the prince to the princess, and frown. She seemed so easily ready to throw her weight around when she first ran into me, but now Aqua Regia’s ears are folded back and she can’t seem to match gazes with her brother. Her entire body is tense, and she looks ready to bolt.
She’s scared of him? Her own brother? Neither Eve or Strong speak up, either. Don’t talk unless spoken to. That’s how they’re trained to act around royalty and nobility. But is that how I should act around them?
“Brother, I—” she starts.
“I suppose you were hoping I’d just ignore the stack of Alchemy books, dear sister?” he says with a sneer. With a wave of his horn, the stack of books vanishes from atop her back. “No sister of mine will be be self-taught if she so truly wishes to learn of such arts. We can discuss this later, but for now there’s the matter of being—”
Is he really going to rip into her in front of us all, right in public?
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I look to the prince and cough. “Prince Blueblood, if I may, this entire incident is my fault,” I lie, biting my lip as his gaze snaps to me for the first time. My voice trembles as I go. “Her Highness had heard rumors about the offer you gave me and sent word that she wished to meet. I was already planning on shopping around today, so I invited her along.”
Blueblood and Aqua Regia’s jaws both drop at this. Beneath me, I feel Strongwind tense up, and the bronze hairs at the base of his skull bristle. Similarly I can see Eve’s eyebrow perk from the corner of my eye.
“Ah, Miss Silver Penny,” the prince replies in a surprised tone. “I didn’t see you there.” Glancing to his sister with a smirk, he asks, “Is it true? Were you playing politics behind your dear brother’s back?”
There’s a bit of darkness to the smile that comes to his face as his sister blushes. “I...” She glances at me, and then swallows. “Yes, brother. It’s true. She saved my life.”
That look of anger returns to the prince’s eyes, but I don’t give him the chance to talk. “I don’t know if she was followed or if somepony was just waiting for an opportunity, we were ambushed by a changeling,” I say, quickly shifting gears. “I—it won’t be trying again... I made sure of it.”
Blueblood’s eyes narrow at my words, but he smiles. It’s one of those fake ones where the corners of his mouth don’t reach up all the way. “A shame,” he says. “I would very much like to know who would dare employ such a wretched creature against House Blueblood.”
Wait, he can’t be thinking that I had something to do with this; can he?
With a sigh, Blueblood turns to face the mansion. “I suppose you’ll be wanting some sort of reward?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder. “For saving my disobedient sister?”
My gut clenches at the suggestion. “A reward?” I say with a weak titter. “I just... killed a living, thinking being, and you want to...” Before I can catch myself I sob. “What the fuck is wrong with—”
Before I can finish my sentence, a sticky piece of adhesive paper slaps across my face. My mouth is forced shut, and even though I know I should still be making noise, it’s like my voice box is paralyzed. I scream soundlessly into my gag as my watery eyes flick to Evening Script.
The bat pony gives me an apologetic look as she bows to the prince. “Forgive me for speaking out of turn, Your Highness, but please do not be offended,” she says. “She was raised with very specific values, and killing for the first time is hard enough without also going against such heavily ingrained values. She’s upset and not thinking clearly.”
Blueblood tilts his head, but his fake smile never leaves his face. “Perhaps she’ll be more receptive to a reward once she’s had time to come to terms,” he offers. “Come along, sister. We can discuss enrollment into the Canterlot University alchemy program over dinner.”
He doesn’t look to see if she follows as he leaves. He’s had his say, and clearly he expects her to follow without question. I don’t pity her there, but I don’t exactly pity myself right now. Murderer.
The princess, on the other hand, doesn’t do as she’s told. Not immediately. Instead, she trots over to Strongwind and gazes at me atop his back. There’s something off about the way she’s looking at me, but I can’t place it.
“I never asked you to kill for me,” she hisses in a tone barely audible to me. “Or for you to lie to my brother on my behalf. I’m perfectly capable of fighting my own battles.”
Please tell me she’s not the tsundere type.
She looks away, and for a moment I start to believe that might be all she has to say. In one lightning fast move, she leans in and nuzzles my cheek. “Thank you,” she murmurs before cantering off.
What the actual fuck?
~ 09 ~
When Twilight heard about Penny’s incident, she didn’t know what to think. Deep down she knew that this was probably an inevitable outcome, but she’d been more concerned with how such a turn of events would alter her perception of the little unicorn than how it would affect Penny herself. If only she’d been more aggressive about restraint.
With a dejected sigh, she looked out her window to where Penny had situated herself. It was a spot not far from the stream in the courtyard, and it had a few decorative boulders to grant the area a more natural look. As far as brooding spots went, it was as good as any. If only Silver hadn’t been out there since being escorted home yesterday.
What bothered Twilight was that Penny hadn’t moved a muscle at all. She’d wandered out there without speaking a word and just sat there in an unusual pose that the little one claimed to be for meditation. Anypony that attempted to rouse her was met with silence. An entire night and most of a day she spent there, no food or water.
Loathe as she was to disturb her—Celestia only knew what was going through her head right now—Twilight knew that she couldn’t let Penny stay out much longer. There was heavy rain in today’s Canterlot weather schedule, and she was sure to get sick if she were caught up in it.
Making her way out of her tower, she wondered what Princess Celestia would do. The princess always seemed to know what to say to make her feel better, and she felt like she owed it to her mentor to do the same for Penny. But how?
When she exited the tower and approached the meditation spot, she was surprised to hear Penny’s voice. She seemed to be talking to somepony—herself?—but there was nopony around.
“Book, I’m scared,” said Silver, her eyes closed. The fur around her cheeks was damp and matted with tears. Her face looked gaunt, far more than she should’ve from stress alone. “Things keep changing and I try and try to do the right thing, but I always end up endangering the lives of others.”
Twilight froze in her tracks. Book? Was Silver talking to her? She’d seen peeks while Silver would write in her diary, and the names ‘Book Horse’ and ‘Purple Smart’ came up a number of times. It didn’t take an advanced degree in magic to tell that these were nicknames of endearment...
A subtle twitch of Penny’s ear nearly escaped her notice. The pony was reacting as though she were hearing something, yet Twilight had said nothing.
“C’mon Book, you know me better than that,” Silver continued, her tone darkening. “You think I don’t know that I can’t keep avoiding the issue of my gender identity, or the emotional baggage that comes with it?
“That’s besides the point! We’re talking about Exodus 20:13, Book.” The muscles in Silver’s jaw tightened, and her eyelids were twitching. “I fucking killed a being, and I know it was in defense of another and the prevention of a crime. Theoretically, yes, I’m absolved in the eyes of God, but years of being told to be a certain way doesn’t just stop having an affect on my mind because I’m a pony now!”
A navy aura coalesced around Silver Penny’s horn. Twilight flinched as she felt something tugging at the magic around her. Hay, it wasn’t just tugging at the ambient magic; it was tugging at her magic too. It was almost like a vortex, dragging her into Penny.
Had she spent this entire time talking to herself and replenishing her magical reserves—just soaking up ambient magic like a whirlpool?
With a feral scream, Penny opened her eyes. “Damn it! This is why it’s pointless to debate it with my memory imprint!” she yelled, discharging the built-up energy into one of the boulders in a luminous beam. “Fucking hell!”
At first, nothing happened. Twilight and Penny both stared at the stone, not acknowledging one another. Had the spell fizzled? Or was there some unseen effect the spell was supposed to have?
A crack spread across the point of impact. From that one crack, a massive spider web of cracks overtook the surface of the boulder. Entire chunks of rock fell away, revealing... a large stone cross.
Again, Penny had done something Twilight had not have expected, and it seemed she was not yet finished surprising her. Rising from her strange seated position, Penny trotted up to the boulder and pressed her still-lit horn against the cross.
As she moved, Twilight noted how her body seemed leaner, her skin practically hanging off her bones. She utilized automagiphagy to renew her own reserves at some point yesterday. How is she still standing?
Words etched themselves across the surface.
Unknown Changeling:
Slain in attempted kidnapping of a Princess.
With a forlorn look, she whispered, “With you, goes my innocence.”
From the side angle, Twilight saw tears in the girl’s eyes. Again, she felt the tugging in her chest urging her to comfort her. “Penny, I...”
“Do you know what they’ll do with the body, Twilight?” Penny asked, turning to her with the red-tinged eyes of somepony who’d been crying too much. “Or do changelings get an unmarked grave?”
The sheer flatness of her voice caught Twilight off guard. After all the emotion that had been displayed speaking aloud to what she’d called her memory imprint, this was a stark change in mood.
“I don’t know, but I could find out.” Twilight gazed at the stone cross and the epitaph inscribed on it. It was a gravemarker, she belatedly realized. “If you want to talk, I wouldn’t mind hearing you out. I know this must be tearing you up inside.”
Biting at her lip, Penny seemed to consider this. Twilight could almost imagine that, through her hollow stare, she could see the idea being turned over in her mind. Maybe she could use this last chance to get her to open up after all.
After a good few moments considering it, she shook her head. “No offense, Twilight, but I’m still trying to come to terms with this and decide how I feel about it.” She gave the larger mare a fake smile before turning to look up to the sky, where pegasi were pull rain-clouds into place. “I wouldn’t want to burden you with a weight I haven’t even sussed out yet.”
Unable to suppress a sigh, Twilight joined Penny in her skygazing. Defeat welled in her chest as she sat there, waiting for some sign that she hadn’t failed in her task. She was supposed to help Silver Penny get used to the idea of being a pony and living in Equestria, as well as educating her in the things she’d need to know to get by, but it seemed like all she’d done was give her pupil the tools to wall herself off more.
Would Princess Celestia punish her for this failure? Hadn’t helping Penny been her punishment for her part in helping strand her in Equestria in the first place? This could hardly be called helping!
“Twilight, how much of that earlier conversation did you hear?” Her student asked suddenly. The gray of her fur did nothing to hide the pink tinge to her cheeks. “Be honest.”
Stopping to think back, Twilight recalled mostly hearing about something called Exodus, talk of the killing, but what struck her strangely was... “You mentioned gender identity issues when you were talking out loud to yourself.”
She thought she could hear a strangled screaming coming from the pony next to her. When she looked, Penny had both of her hooves pressed against her mouth and she indeed screaming. Her eyes were wide with... anger?
This went on for a good minute before Penny had to stop to breathe. “Penny, I admit I didn’t know you before the switch, but from all the time I’ve spent with you over the last few months, you’ve never struck me as being uncomfortable with your own sex.”
That brought a smile to the small mare’s face as she removed her hooves. “You never thought it odd that I adapted to being a filly, er, mare so quickly?” She laughed gently, displaying the first real bit of positive emotion in almost an entire day. “You never once wondered why I just accepted it with silence? Spike did, the day I got my cutie mark.”
For some reason, her instincts told her that answering either of those questions was a trap, and the small pony was already on edge. Instead, she said, “Why don’t you tell me about it?”
Silver nodded, and smiled. She bobbed her head from side to side for a few moments, gnawing on her lip, clearly thinking out her words. It meant to Twilight that she was being serious.
In an oddly stoic voice, she said, “Imagine you’re born a certain way. From the moment you can talk and understand, you’re told that’s the way you’re supposed to be: the only way you’re meant to be. To be different or buck against the norm is wrong, abhorrent.
“Despite this, you know deep down from an early age that you’re not meant to be this way. You say nothing, do nothing, for fear of ridicule or worse. Some people are even killed because they feel the way you are, and you don’t want to end up like them. You don’t want to be the way you feel you’re meant to be because indoctrination tells you it’s abhorrent, but you’re miserable the way you are anyway.
“So you bury it deep down in the closet of your mind that a satyr named Mr. Tumnus keeps it company. You learn to hide it so well, and pretend you are happy for so long, that you actually start to believe it. All the while, you find outlets: fantasy, pornography, and whatever form of escapism you can find to ease the pain. With this, you can get by, pretending you’re not depressed or hate living.
“Then, one day, your life gets turned on its head. A being from another world irrevocably changes your life, and suddenly you are the way you feel you were meant to be... you’re just the wrong species and torn away from your own world with a lot of your memory replaced. Enough, in fact, that you’re too comfortable as your new species.
“You want to be happy that you finally are the way you felt you were meant to be, but the emotional baggage of how it happened, the change in species, and a lifetime of dogma telling you that you’re an abomination still weigh you down. Maybe you could actually be happy if you lost one of those things, but...”
As she ranted, Silver Penny grew visibly disturbed and her breathing became erratic. Tears streamed from her glowing eyes, and a vibrant navy corona encompassed her horn. The shards of stone left over from her gravestone carving orbited the two of them wildly like tiny daggers.
Penny’s surging! Twilight thought as her memory of the showdown in the Ponyville market jumped to the forefront of her mind. She’s either going to hurt herself physically or completely shred her mana pathways.
She had to act fast, so she did the first thing she could think of. From her own subspace pocket, she conjured a magic suppressor and slipped it down over the little unicorn’s horn.
Immediately her magic died. Lacking the vortex of magic keeping it in orbit around the pair of them, the stone shards shot forth on their remaining momentum, embedding themselves in the ground around them. A few even lodged themselves in the grave marker Silver’d made.
Maybe the biggest difference was that once the flow of magic was cut off, Penny dropped like a marionette whose strings had been cut. It was as though the little fool was pulling in whatever magic she could just to keep herself upright. She probably was. She hasn’t eaten since yesterday and was all out of mana then. She had to be soaking up ambient magic and converting it to mana just to keep functioning.
“But yeah... that’s my issue in a nutshell, Twilight,” Penny groaned from the ground. To Twilight’s amazement, she managed to push herself up into a sitting position. Even exhausted and cut off from her magic, she was still fighting to stay awake. Perseverance didn’t even begin to describe this pony.
“Penny—no, Silver, I can’t even begin to fathom what you went through growing up,” Twilight replied, levitating the foal-sized mare onto her back. “I am in no place to judge the merits or faults of the religious teachings you were brought up on, even if they brought you so much suffering.
“The teachings might even bring you fond memories, but it sounds like you’re trying to hold onto your humanity, as if it’s what gives you your uniqueness—what makes you you.” She shook her head, and made her way back into the tower. “Rather than define yourself by your species, your faith, or your past, define yourself by who you are.”
“I can’t just throw it all away, Twilight.” From atop her back, Penny sniffled as they entered the tower’s main room. “All the stuff I’ve brought from home is still with Lyra, so my faith’s all I’ve got left to remind me of what I’ve lost.”
Maybe years of being foalsat by Cadance had rubbed off on her, or maybe it was just some instinctual thing that all mares would experience at some point in her lives, but what came next was strangely natural to Twilight. She levitated the sniveling marechild off of her back and pulled her into a hug. Penny didn’t resist.
“Sometimes, you have to let go of what you lost in order to see what you’ve gained.” Levitating over a cushion, Twilight set Penny down and smiled. “You say you’ve lost everything, but you could also say you’ve gained just as much, too.”
Penny looked up at her with heavy eyes. “What do you mean?”
Casting a quick summoning spell, Twilight brought out a pair of framed photographs. The first she showed Penny was a group shot of Twilight and her Ponyville friends. The second was one Sergeant Revelry had taken for her, one of Twilight and Silver Penny practicing magic together. “I still miss my friends, but rather than dwell on it, I put my all into training you. It’s been hard, but I’m proud of the progress you’ve made in so short a time.
“You may have lost your family, your home, and your species—” Twilight brushed her hoof through her would-be niece’s mane. Much like she’d witnessed with Shining Armor, the foal-sized mare reflexively leaned into the motion as a younger foal would. “—but you’ve gained power, you’re very talented with the magic you’ve shown an affinity for, and you’ve persevered like nothing I’ve ever seen. You have ponies who would gladly welcome you into the family. You’ve never shown any indication that you were uncomfortable being a mare, so clearly you’re the right gender now...”
Trailing off, she smiled. Penny had fallen asleep with the happiest expression Twilight had ever seen from her since she began this so many months ago. Sillier still, she was still upright, her head pressed against Twilight’s hoof. “You’re going to be okay...”
With that out of the way, there were things Twilight needed to do now that she was sure the small mare wasn’t going to strand herself out in the rain. For one, she’d received word that Penny had most certainly passed her EED, which meant that her task—so far as educating Penny was concerned—was complete. That meant that she could begin making arrangements for heading back to Ponyville.
There was also a matter which she and Shining had discussed. Despite Penny’s wishes to the contrary, they’d both decided that they wanted to have their parents meet her. Shining in particular had exchanged a few letters with their mother, Twilight Velvet, on the matter, and she’d expressed interest.
Problem became that Silver Penny was at times too perceptive—being genre savvy, she chose to call it—and tended to come up with excuses whenever Twilight made plans to visit her folks. Maybe, if they were to meet in Ponyville, she’d be a bit more receptive.
For now, though, she needed to get Penny looked at. She’d been a pony for about seven months, and had managed a great number of things that should have been impossible for somepony of her experience or size. The sheer rate at which her magical power had grown was fascinating and alarming. With the way the little mare was pushing herself to the verge of burnout so frequently and the sudden onset of magical surges, she worried for the state of Penny’s magical pathways.
~ 09 ~
“You’re back?” Book asks, peering out of her namesake. It was hovering just above the dais. “Did you come to apologize?”
Blinking, I realize I’m in my mind’s center. I’m pretty sure that I’m not meditating again, though, because the last thing I remember is talking to Twilight. Then again, I never really naturally ended it, either; all the doors are open, so to speak.
My gaze flicks to the tiny anthropomorphic representation of my memories as she pulls herself from the pages of her ‘home’. It’s funny that the shape she’s chosen for herself is so tiny and adorable, but hey. I’m small and apparently very huggable; can I really talk?
Turning to the wall with the vaguely face-shaped pattern of bricks, I shrug. “You’re a part of me, so you already know that I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” In spite of my dismissive tone, a smile crosses her face. “I... I guess you were right about talking to someone about the gender identity. I do feel a bit better getting that off my chest.”
Book nods, draping her legs over the edge of her tome. “So what now?” One leg crosses itself over the other and she folds her arms, cocking an eyebrow. “Are you just going to repress the killing, too?”
I shake my head, and then will the face wall to open up. Almost instantly, it slides away like some Star Trek-esque door on rails. Beyond is exactly how I pictured it, and the mere thought of what’s to come sends a shiver down my back.
Even though my memory avatar is present and quite real, I can tell this is a dream because I remember falling asleep. That means I can do what I want—shape reality. Who’s gonna stop me?
Book looks at the space beyond the wall and then frowns back at me. “Penny, no, that’s fucked up.” She’s of course talking about the hospital room and the human on life support in the bed.
Of course she already knows who it is. She knows because she can see my thoughts and understands my plans. Book is a part of me, just like the person on the bed. They both know what’s up.
“I know it is, Book, but I can’t carry all this baggage any more.” Levitating her book along beside me, I approach the bed. “If I don’t get my shit sorted, all of my mind’s going to be like this.” I gesture at the memory of Soren Friedrich with one hoof. “I’m already coming apart at the seams.”
Book looks from me to Soren, biting her lip. She considers the memory, gaunt and missing entire chunks from his being. He returns her stare. A weak smile creases his face—perpetually fluctuating between male, female, and Lyra—as he looks at her with sad eyes.
“It’s gotta be this way, Book,” he says in three different voices, all muffled by the breath mask. He reaches up to brush his too-long hair from his face with the stump of an arm that abruptly stops existing at the elbow. ”I’m just holding us back; we all know it. If she lets go, she has a chance to be happy...”
The memory imprint’s mouth hangs slack as she gawps at him. I understand why, I really do. If I let Soren just... fade away and become just a book in a part of the library that will become seldom-used, I will change in ways I can’t predict.
I wouldn’t just be throwing away my humanity in letting him go. When he goes, I’ll be letting go of my faith, my parents, and everything but my basic morals. In a sense, I might very well be killing the me that ponies know of.
A sudden chill sends a shiver down my spine, and everything starts to feel heavy.
At first, I’m certain the chill is from the thought of how this will rip my very identity asunder. It’s what makes the most sense... but deep down, I know that’s not why my mind feels so heavy. In addition to Book and Soren, I can feel another presence in the back of my mind.
Could it be another Mere, swooping in to latch on once more during my darkest hour? Or might it be Evening, checking in on me to make sure that doesn’t happen? Or...
“It has been some time since last we spoke with any real sense of privacy, young Penny,” says a voice to my back. There’s no real mistaking that regal voice. “Are you well?”
Even without necessarily seeing her do it, I can feel that Book has retreated into the safety of the tome that houses her. Can’t rightly blame her. She is, after all, the embodiment off my memories, so she’s bound to reflect my own feelings, however much she might exaggerate them.
I have reasons to distrust Luna and Celestia, even if they’ve been nothing but kind and supportive. Firstly, they’re incredibly powerful beings. Even if I’ve been corrected on my understanding of the Equestrian solar system, they’re still powerful titan in their own rights. I can’t trust that they won’t decide I’m a threat because of something I do or put in motion.
Then there’s the fact that they’ve acted inconsistently in matters regarding me. They like the idea of me joining the guard, but then like a week into my time with Eta, it’s suddenly “Whoa, Penny, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Why don’t you get some mental help first?” To make things worse, I can tell the option of institutionalizing me is hanging over my head after the whole jumping off the edge of the city thing.
... and now here’s Luna in my fuckin’ dream, creeping in on the sanctity of my mind. Of course Book’s gonna get spooked. She doesn’t wanna be mistaken for something like a Mere.
I set the tome down upon my back and warily turn to the alicorn of the night. “Welcome to my dream, Your Highness,” I greet with a fake smile, flicking my eye back to Soren and his bed hospital bed. “Is there something that I can help you with?”
She looks taken aback for a moment, as though the mere idea of me recognizing this to be a dream from the outset and remaining lucid is strange to her. That, or she could be curious about the human, or why I seem so cautious. Ponies are curious creatures and I’m not an exception; why would she be?
After taking a few moments to compose herself, Luna wrenches her gaze away from Soren to look at me. “As somber as this setting is, you seem to be doing quite well,” she answers. “Out of concern for your state of mind, I chose to visit. It was wise to wait until you’d been stabilized but it took some time for you to enter a dream state.”
I drop my gaze to the ground, scuffing the tile flooring idly with my hoof as the fake smile falls from my face. “I’m not, your highness... doing well, I mean. That’s why I was in the process of letting go of Soren.” My voice shakes as I say it. “So much of the teachings I grew up with are telling me what I did was wrong, even if for the right reasons... So long as the impact of those teachings lives on in the part of me that remains human, I can’t live with the choice I made.”
An alarmed look of realization spreads across the princess’s face as she looks around at the environment. Can she feel that this is an extension of my core? Can she tell that Soren’s a real denizen of my mind and not just part of a dream?
“Penny, that is abhorrent!” she says with a strange quiver in her voice. “Surely you can learn to live with the weight of what you’ve done without casting off such an integral part of yourself! You would be flaying the essence of your mind and letting itself stitch it back together.”
A weak, honest smile returns to my face as I turn again, leaving the princess and joining Soren on the bed. “For what it’s worth, my memory redundancy shares that opinion,” I say, staring up at the memory of my former self. He returns the smile and rubs the top of my head with his one remaining hand. “I think it’s just because she’s scared, though. She doesn’t know what we’ll become, and seeing as she’s my memory, she probably doesn’t know how that’ll affect her.”
I glance over my shoulder at the princess as I remove the breath mask from Soren’s face.
“Don’t get me wrong; I’m not abandoning my morals. I have plenty of experience here to tell me right from wrong.” My voice comes from Soren’s mouth as he pulls out an intravenous line. At the same time, I disconnect the diodes connected to the electrocardiogram. “I just can’t function with the baggage from my old life. I don’t want to be a little ball of angst, but let’s be real; I’m going to have PTSD regardless of what I do. Having one less problem to deal with seems like the reasonable choice, because I’ll be more likely to turn to others for support.”
Though it’s clear by Luna’s face that she disagrees, she nods. “You’ve put some thought into this,” she replies. Damn straight. Arguing with myself for the better part of a day better have had some positive results! “Do you yourself not fear how you’ll change?”
To answer her question, I reach up with my hoof and drag Soren’s eyes shut. A smile spreads across his face as he begins to dissolve into motes of blue-white light. By the time he’s fully gone, only a large book remains. On the cover, it reads simply, “Soren Friedrich.” I wrap my forelegs around it and hug it close.
“No, Your Highness,” I whisper. “Human lives are always ones of change anyway. So much chaos and uncertainty... this feels like it’s just another twist of fate. It feels right.”
I turn back to the princess with teary eyes as the mindscape shivers. We snap back into my core, the hospital room breaking apart into the same blue-white light. “So you mentioned my being stabilized. Have I been hospitalized?”
She nods. “Your mana pathways are incredibly strained, and your aether-furnace is unstable.” Her expression becomes unreadable. “Since you have a terrible tendency to push yourself too hard without any consideration for your own wellbeing, you’ve been put into a medically induced coma until your system has had time to recuperate. You’ve been given an intravenous line to keep your hydration up and restore a lot of lost nutrition.”
I can’t help but shiver upon hearing that I’ve been hospitalized. Again. Because I’m a dumb idiot who has no sense of self preservation...
“From what I’ve been informed, you will likely be required to be fitted with a magic limiter for some time.” Her expression is unreadable. “Your magical reserves have expanded by a fair margin, and your pathways have grown far broader than a pony of your size should be able to accomodate. While your body learns to better control the flow of magic, you’ll need to be limited to a tenth of your maximum capability.”
I nod dumbly a this. I was an idiot, and I’m too cavalier with my ability to throw around magic. Now I have to learn to work without the rule of P for Plenty. Makes sense. This is probably for the best.
The Everfree will be a fun challenge.
“I’ve also been told to inform you that you should be made aware that you’ll wake in an unfamiliar environment,” There’s something to the smile spreading across her face that I don’t like. “You’ll have been moved while you’re unconscious. There is no need to panic”
Now I’m actually kinda scared. The princesses were already pushing me toward mental health care before I jumped off the side of Canterlot. Now they tell me I’m gonna be waking up in a strange place. Please don’t let it be an asylum...
“For now, I imagine you need some time to dream,” she says, slowly fading away. “Until next we meet, Silver Penny.”
“Remember: don’t stay in bed all morning,” a voice says from the other side of my bedroom door, jarring me awake. I’ve known the voice for months now, and I’m still coming to terms with the fact that it belongs to my adoptive mother. I still can’t believe she’d want to adopt me... “Just because you only have class in the afternoon today doesn’t mean that you can be lazy.”
With a groan, I rise from my desk and peel a sheet of parchment off of my face. I’ve gotta stop falling asleep while working on my enchanting project, or I’m never gonna get it done. Looking down at the diagram of a minotaur’s arm-structure I peeled off of my face, I find myself hoping none of the drool-stained pages were important. At least I managed to fall asleep on them after the ink dried this time.
“I won’t, Cadance,” I reply with a yawn. I glance at the clock. “I wanna talk to Dad before he leaves for work anyway.”
From the other side of the door, I hear a sigh. “Your father had to go in early,” she apologises. “There was an incident with some guards and he was called in.”
Damn.
I know I should be a bit more respectful of her. She did legally adopt me when she married Dad, even though I’m not her foal. She doesn’t necessarily treat me like royalty—Come to think of it, does this make me a princess too?—but she tries to show she cares for my well-being while not being saccharinely condescending.
As the door eases open, I glance over at the intruder. Is it weird that I’m a bit jealous how long and pointy her horn looks compared to mine? Like, I get why Dad likes her; she’s a total babe by all standards. Sure, I’m still growing, but each time I see how pretty Cadance is, I’m reminded of somepony from school who also has a horn like that... and here I am with a smooth, short one.
A flush creeps across my cheeks as she sees I’m at my desk. “You’re just like your aunt when she was your age,” she says. When she laughs, her tri-tone mane falls across her face. “You can’t keep sleeping at your desk, though. You’ll have back problems when you’re older.”
I bob my head in silent agreement and then rise from the cushion by the desk. Arching my back like a cat’s, I sigh in contentment at the popping of my vertebrae. The queasy look on Cadance’s face just makes it extra sweet.
“Have you already had a shower, or should I wait?” I ask, rubbing some crust from the corner of my eye. I stagger tiredly in the direction of the door. “I... um... I wanna look nice today.”
Her eyebrow perks gently at my comment, but she says nothing. Instead, she shakes her head. “Go ahead,” she responds. “I know that to the outside, I’m a princess and need to look my best, but here, in this apartment... we’re equals as far as personal needs go, okay?”
I freeze mid-step and take a bit of a tumble. Is it any surprise that she would catch me with her magic before I eat marble flooring? Maybe not, but it’s still kinda unreal.
“T-thanks,” I murmur, darting off to the bathroom.
I don’t even wait for the water to heat up before diving under the stream of water that I turn on. Anything to destroy any evidence of the tears that were threatening to stain my eyes red. Besides, nothing wakes a pony up like ice-cold water seeping into their coat.
Once I’m thoroughly soaked, I glance around the bathroom, from the open shower to the large bath taking up one side of the room. There’s no toilet in this room because in the castle, all apartments have water-closets off of the bedrooms. I live in the castle...
I still can’t believe that Dad and Cadance took me in when my mother—who gave birth to me and raised me without Father ever knowing—died. It’s just too much to believe that they don’t have ulterior motives... that they don’t want something from me... but Cadance seems like a really sincere pony. Like she means what she says... and that I’m not just a piece of property to her.
Mother never deserved me... I think as I shampoo my mane and coat. But maybe I should be nice to Cady...
My eyes widen at my own thought. I’d just willingly thought of her as something other than the princess or, when I’m feeling unnecessarily catty, Cadance. Maybe it’s okay to let her in...
When I exit the bathroom twenty minutes later, almost as pristine as a princess can get, I find her in the kitchen making breakfast. Why, when we’re living in the castle and can have food brought to us on a whim, I’ll never know. Still, there’s a bowl of oats, bran flakes, and berries at my spot, and she seems to be making something on the stove for herself.
Making my way to the fridge, I levitate a small glass from the cupboard. There’s so much more stuff to choose from here than when I was with my mother... But living hoof-to-mouth will do that to you. Is it any wonder that I’ve developed a taste for healthy, albeit expensive things like the pomegranate juice I end up pouring for myself?
I quietly sit myself down at my spot, but I don’t begin eating until Cadance joins me. I wait until she sets down her plate of Prench toast, as I was raised to. She doesn’t seem to mind that I don’t dig in until she’s already cut and eaten some of her meal.
Yeah, I think it’s time I open up a bit. She’s not my mother. She’s not going to get mad if I ask questions... she’s better than that.
"Mum, how do you tell a pony you like them?" I ask between mouthfuls of berries and oats. There’s no sarcasm in my voice when I say Mum, nor do I cringe at the thought. Surprisingly, it feels right. “Like, how do you tell them you wanna be more than just a friend.”
The question catches Cadance off guard, not just because I've never shown any interest in her love stuff before, but because this is the first time since she adopted me that I've referred to her as my mom. Regardless, her shock is quickly reigned in behind a radiant smile . "Oh? Who's the lucky colt, Penny?" she teases, leaning across the table to watch me squirm. "Is it that cute Strongwind from the hoofball team?"
"Ew, mom! No!" I nearly gag at the thought of dating a colt. "Sure, he's a good guy, but he and Evie have been dating since fourth grade!"
She raises her eyebrow. "If it's not Strong, then who?" She rubs her chin with one hoof. "Your year has the lowest colt to filly ratio in ages, so there's not too man—"
"She's a filly from my class, okay!?" I blurt out, unable to take any more boy talk. Besides, this’ll tell me for sure how tolerant she is. Last time I implied I was abnormal to my mother, she slapped me. With a paddle.
Cadance, on the other hoof, doesn’t seem fazed by it at all. A gentle smile overtakes her face and her eyes soften. “Tell me about her.”
"She's kinda mean, always picking on me or the foreign exchange fillies from Neighpon, but she's cool, she's smart, she's popular... really pretty...” I sigh, which makes Cadance’s smile widen. “But she never seems happy, despite all the ponies who suck up to her."
With a thoughtful expression, she rises from her seat and comes around the table, placing a wing around me. “It sounds like you have a firm grasp of the feelings you have for this filly,” she says, pulling me close. I don’t know why wing-y ponies like pegasi and alicorns are like this, but these warm, fluffy hugs are pretty amazing. “Is this what you wanted to ask your father about? Hoping to find out how to work up the courage to ask her?”
I look away and make a weak attempt to remove myself from her hug; I don’t want her to feel the shivers that threaten to turn me into a trembling mess. “Nuh-uh,” I murmur. “It’s weird... Whenever she’s around me I get this really bad feeling... Like I’m in a nightmare I can’t wake from...”
For a moment, the world around me changes. I’m in a small room instead of the apartment, and there’s a big red stallion looming over me. My body hurts all over and in awful places where nopony’s ever supposed to touch me.
The filly I like isn’t like that, though.
We’re not the only ponies there, though. One of the foreign exchange fillies... a pale, almost porcelain pony... She’s tied up and she looks so scared; my heart aches when I look at her, but I don’t know why.
The filly... fillies can’t do that to other fillies... right?
With the blink of an eye, I’m on my side in the middle of the floor. The oats and juice I’d eaten so far were spilled all over the marble tile. I’m just lying there, clutching my stomach and sobbing.
As Cadance appears in my field of vision, so too do many others. They look like EMTs. She looks visibly disturbed, but for some reason, I can’t hear her as she speaks to the medical ponies. All I hear is my heartbeat in my ears.
Why do I taste blood though?
I look down at the puddle of sick in front of me. There, among the oats and juice... is a good chunk of my tongue. I open my mouth to scream, only to choke on a mouthful of blood.
Is this how I die? Choking on my own blood? I ponder as the edges of my vision begin to fade away. Why did I bite off my tongue? What was that... Why...
“Be at ease, young Penny.” It’s Princess Luna’s voice! “You aren’t dying. Your mind is attempting to stitch itself together in lack of many of your memories and has constructed a nightmare.”
The world around me fades away, and I find myself lying in the void. That’s right... I did something. Something Book didn’t approve of... but what?
“I get the whole thing with Mum,” I say aloud once I realize I have my tongue again. I blink and then cringe once it hits me that I just called Cadance my mother. “Princess Cadance. I get the whole thing with her, but... where the fuck did that imagery come from? It almost felt real...”
Princess Luna doesn’t answer. The look on her face tells it all. She’s just as dumbfounded as I am. After all, I barely know who the red pony was, and so far as I know, I’ve never met a porcelain white pony like that.. yet the face felt somehow familiar. Why do I feel like I know them both, and what is this gut-wrenching pain I feel because of it?
I want to wake up now...
~ 10 ~
With a yawn some might consider too big for my tiny form, I crack open eyes and look around. Pale green walls, life support equipment hooked up to me... antiseptic smell. I’m in a hospital again... This is like some big cosmic joke.
Even though the rational part of me instinctively knows I’m in a hospital and why, there’s something new in me... somepony new. That pony is me, but not the me I remember. She... I’m scared because I’m in an unfamiliar place, alone, on life support, and only the vaguest idea of how I got here. Like a foal.
Think, Penny, think, I ponder to myself. What did the princess say?
While I wrack my brain for the answer, I hear somepony at the door. In a way, I suppose the question answers itself. As the door swings open, I see the very familiar looking white mare wearing a nurse’s cap over her light pink mane. I... the new me doesn’t recognize the mare, but a name floats to the forefront of my mind. Redheart.
With that name, comes a place and a sense of dread. Ponyville.
The nurse comes in, but she doesn’t seem to notice the narrow slits of my open eyes. She just looks over my IV lines, presses a hoof against my forehead—is she taking my temperature or trying to wake me?—and then I feel a pressure against the base of my horn.
Unable to resist the sudden need to look, I open my eyes and cross them upward. It’s mostly outside my field of vision because of the curvature of the pony skull, but there’s just barely a visible band of blackness at the base. The feeling of being cut off from all of my magic and dropping like a sack of rocks rushes to the forefront of my mind.
Twilight’s magic suppressor. That’s right; I started to surge back in Canterlot and was doing real damage to my mana pathways. Surprised they weren’t torn to shit by how much I’ve been abusing them lately.
“It’s good to see that you’re finally awake,” she says upon noticing my open eyes. Her smile puts me at ease. “We were almost ready to start an office pool on how long it would take for you to wake up.”
I cock my head slightly and grin. “How long was I out?” Although I’m a hoarse little horse, something about my voice seems off. It’s... softer—higher, even.
Redheart moves to the foot of the bed and lifts out the chart. “Two weeks, five days,” she answers, reading from it. “You were admitted on the First of October.” Her smile falters, but she perks back up almost immediately. “I’m Nurse Redheart, by the way.”
Mentally, I run the numbers. Two weeks, five days... That’s nineteen. That makes today... I flinch. The 20th.
She must’ve seen me flinch. Before I can respond or even say something, she’s right in my face again. “Are you in pain?” she asks in concern. “Be honest. Your aetheric system has been under a lot of stress for months, and you’ve developed a reservoir of magic most adult unicorns would be jealous of. We have no idea what it means for your body, so we need to know immediately if you are in pain.”
I blink at her. My reservoir? But when Twilight ran a check-up just a few months ago, I was merely above foal average... Is my near-burnout methodology really having that much of an effect? Or is it the way I’ve been absorbing ambient magic and converting it?
Then again, the princesses are in Canterlot; if I was unknowningly absorbing residual energy from their spells, I’ve probably been pumping some high-density stuff through my system. Celestia only knows what that all means for me, but it sounds like I need some sort of limiter for my own safety... and to stop burning myself out like an idiot.
“No ma’am,” I answer in a small voice when I realize I ignored her question in favor of introspection. “I was just alarmed at how long I’ve been out. Is today really the twentieth?”
She nods. “Your birthday is tomorrow, is it not?” Inwardly, I curse. Sure, there’s some excitement, but I think that’s just the other me I seem to be sharing my mind with. “Most... ponies who fall into your size category would be excited, but you look apathetic at best, and perturbed at worst.”
I return her nod and look away. “I’m pretty sure nopony knows, and... I’d rather keep it that way for now.” I decide not to mention my birthday plans involved going into the Everfree for the entirety of the day, just to be alone. Sighing, I attempt to sit upright, but my muscles don’t want to work.
Gotta give Redheart credit. Now that she knows I’m awake, she’s a lot more observant of my actions. As soon as she catches me try and fail to sit up, she eases me upright. “Easy, Silver Penny.” She reaches over to the bedside table for a glass of water and brings it to my lips. “You’ll probably be weak for a few days. You shouldn’t have any loss of muscle mass, but even with stimulation of the muscles, there’s to be the expectation of some weakness.”
Flicking my eye down to one of my hooves, just hanging limply at my side, I frown. If I try hard enough, I can bring it to twitch, but it’s tiring. At best, it makes my stomach rumble something fierce.
“Now that you’re awake, we can start you on solid food,” she says with a smile once more. “I’ll bring you some food later.”
“Okay,” I say tiredly. Without my magic, I feel way too worn out. “Weird question, but where’s my hammer? I’d feel safer with it nearby.”
Redheart frowns, but makes no movement. “Your belongings have been left in the care of your guardian. For now, certain concerned parties must be notified that you’ve regained consciousness.”
I raise an eyebrow at the word party. Would I have to worry about a certain pink menace, or does she hate me like the rest of the town probably does? Bleh. Knowing her, she’ll know about my birthday and throw me a party regardless of what I did.
Easing me back into a resting posture, she gently pats the top of my head. “Just rest up for now,” she instructs. “Once you’re cleared by the doctor, we can remove the suppressor and get you fitted for a limiter instead. I imagine you’ll feel much better then.”
~ 10 ~
Evidently, despite how peaceful it is, Ponyville makes heavy use of its hospital. In addition to having a sizable mental health ward—I blame the pink menace—ponies come and go with surprising frequency. Maybe there’s a flu epidemic or something; it is October, after all.
“How would you know about the mental health ward?” one might ask. The thing is that when you’re sitting there for hours, too weak to move because the suppressor on your horn makes it difficult to get magic anywhere but your core, you use whatever reading material you have on hoof to keep yourself entertained.
In this case, there’s a detailed map of the building by the door. It’s there to tell you both where you are and inform you of your escape route in the event of an emergency. Fascinating stuff, but it’s really difficult to read from afar. I’m ashamed to admit I might have given myself a headache from eye strain.
Once I’d had enough of the map, I moved on to window gazing. Knowing that I was in the front part of the building, I managed to turn my head enough to watch the comings and goings of guests. There was a lot of them, to say the least.
The doctor, the very same unicorn I bit when I was Lyra—I still say I’m not a tumor—doesn’t show up until feeding time at the zoo Redheart arrives with food in the evening. Redheart must’ve done her homework—or asked Twilight what would make me behave—because I’m too enamored with the offering of a tuna sandwich to be ornery with the stallion.
To be honest, I don’t think he’s made the link between me and the hitchhiker in Lyra’s brain that bit him. As Redheart helps me eat my sandwich, he keeps a polite running dialogue going that, while clearly geared for somepony closer to Sweetie Belle’s age, puts me at ease while he works. He just checks me over from the bedside while Redheart feeds me.
In spite of the things I did, I’m here being treated like a normal filly.
It’s... nice.
“Alright, Penny, so far you’ve recovered quite nicely,” the amber stallion says. “Let’s get that suppressor band off your horn.”
He’s gentle when he touches the obsidian band around my horn. With just a nudge, a paresthesic prickle spreads across my body. A few centimeters more, and it’s like a tide of energy rushing back in to fill an enormous gap. It takes my breath away, and for a moment, I choke on the food.
The coughing fit that follows is enough for me to jerk my horn the rest of the way out of black ring, launching it across the room. Thankfully, Redheart’s there to smack me on the back a couple of times before I get the idea in my head to try and clear my airway with telekinesis.
“Feels better, doesn’t it?” he says with a soft smile. “Never met a filly who likes being banded like that.”
Even as he levitates—seemingly from the void—another magical instrument that seems to have some kind of horn receptacle, I glare at him. “Does the sentence, ‘I am not a fucking tumor,’ ring a bell, Doc?” I ask in a venomously sweet tone. I can’t imagine it sounds too menacing given the strange highness in my voice, but then again, I don’t exactly know why I feel the need to say it in the first place. ”‘cause I remember you.”
The doctor goes rigid at my words, and he edges away from the bed so that his body is just out of biting range. Even Nurse Redheart looks alarmed at my statement. Did... did they really not know who I am?
“Relax, I’m not going to bite you again,” I say in a far less aggressive tone. For some reason the sudden change in my tone doesn’t seem to put them at ease. On the contrary, they seem to be even more on guard.
I feel much more energetic without the suppressor. Warmth rushes through my body as my aetheric furnace once again begins cycling external magic through my core and converting it to magic. I feel right.
With my own two hooves, I seize the sandwich from the nurse and begin to feast. All the while, the two just continue to stare at me.
“You do know I’m not the same pony I was when I occupied Lyra’s body, right?” I ask, lying back onto the bed as I stuff the rest of the sandwich into my mouth. “Ask Au—” Damn it, brain; not now! “Ask Twilight. We’re cool.”
A gentle crack, like the snap of fingers, echoes in my ears, and a bright flash fills my vision.
When the brightness fades, several things hit me all at once. First, I’m not in the hospital bed; I’m somewhere outside on the side of Ponyville nearest the Everfree. As if that’s not strange enough, I’m being held roughly by the scruff of my neck.
The next thing I notice is that whoever is holding me has me in front of Twilight, Fluttershy, and the rest of their friends. If it weren’t for how disoriented I feel, I’d even be concerned with the mixed looks of fear, alarm and rage on their faces, because some of those aren’t from who you might expect.
Lastly, there’s this ungodly powerful feeling of... eldritch power surrounding me. If the changeling magic felt wrong, this is wrong to the power of infinity divided by zero plus infinity squared. My entire body screams in silent pain out at the touch, as though it’s the antithesis to everything my body thinks it represents. Of course, it might have something to do with the fact that my body’s trying to restock my magic reserves with whatever it can get its hooves on, and doesn’t know how to cope with this... aberration.
“You know what else is adorable?” comes the silky smooth voice my mind has associated with John de Lancie. “You ponies truly believe you can reform me when you haven’t even fully reigned in this wonderful little abomination.”
Oh Celestia, no! The memory of Twilight and her friends, corrupted and defeated floats unbidden to forefront of my mind. A shiver wracks my body at the thought of what could happen to me.
To my surprise—or is it relief?—Twilight comes to my defense. “Penny may be a lot of things, but she’s no abomination!”
Off to the side, from a certain rainbow-maned loyalty horse, there’s a soft laugh, followed by a muttered, “She kinda is.” This of course is followed by a yelp of pain as somepony smacks her with their tail. “Ow!”
There’s a snort of laughter. “And you’re putting your faith in this one here—” The yellow pegasus flinches at this. “—to make it happen.”
I begin to tremble. This isn’t happening. “No touch... bad touch...” I whisper. My breathing picks up in pace, but becomes shallow. This isn’t real. Just let me go and pretend I don’t exist. “No touch... bad touch...”
“Makes me want to pinch your little horsey cheeks,” says the being that could only be Discord. The grip at the nape of my neck isn’t released, but I’m turned to face him, in all his mismatched, asymmetrical glory. With both his lion paw and his eagle claw, he grabs my cheeks and squeezes gently. How in the fuck...? “Aren’t you an adorable human? Who’s a good human? Is it you?”
“No touch!” I scream. I won’t let him fuck with my mind or my personal space. I won’t allow it. “BAD TOUCH!”
At the same moment that I chomp down on the lion paw, Twilight yells out, “Penny, no!”
“She bit me!” Discord bellowed. He shook his lion paw violently to dislodge the filly, but she had chomped down too tightly. “Ow, hey! That hurts! Would someone please get this abomination off of me?”
From the moment Celestia asked Twilight and her friends to help reform Discord, she knew that it would be a trying event. She’d prepared every countermeasure for the draconequus she could think of, mentally reviewed his methods of manipulation, and even prepared to give him a chance. Unfortunately, things seemed to be proving to be as Penny often said about plans: they rarely survive first contact with the enemy.
Covering her face with a hoof, she groaned. Why did he have to get Penny involved? I didn’t even know she was awake yet! Celestia only knows how this is going to turn out now.
Peering around the side of her hoof, she watched the small pony get shaken and waved about. Penny’s eyes were shut tight. Tears streaked from Penny’s eyes as her limbs flopped uselessly about. The look of sheer terror etched into her face was worrisome; she’d only seen Penny this scared when she thought the princess would kill her, and the day she had her breakdown. The tightness in the small pony’s face did nothing to hide that she was in pain.
Twilight leapt into action, attempting to grab Penny. If Discord would just stop shaking the foal-sized mare long enough for Twilight to grab her, this would be so much simpler. Instead, all her leaps to grab Penny got were a hoof or tail to the face.
Of course, some of her friends seemed more inclined to see the humor in this. Chiefly, Rainbow and Pinkie were rolling about on the ground as fits of laughter wracked their bodies. “I don’t know which ‘abomination’ to root for,” Rainbow wheezed between giggles. “I mean, Discord, have you seen yourself in the mirror?”
If he at all shared their appreciation for the irony of the situation, he was doing an outstanding job at hiding it. If anything, he looked to be growing increasingly annoyed. With a snap of his eagle-claw, he teleported behind everypony.
As the group turned to look at them once more, they saw Penny was still attached. Worse, her horn was beginning to glow. Another surge?
“Come now, this is getting ridiculous.” He looked to Twilight with a plaintive look. “You’re her ‘Auntie Twilight’,” he said, mimicking Penny’s voice as he held out his paw to dangle her before him. “Give me a hand. Please. This thing might be contagious!”
A physical approach will probably only hurt Penny, she thought. Reaching out with her own magic, she found the tiny mare had packed a dense layer of magic just under her own skin. It’s as if she’s trying to create a barrier, but one like this would only protect her from... magic?
With such an application of magic, it’d be hard for even Twilight to manipulate her without overpowering and risking hurting her. The suppression band was nowhere in sight, and since the conjuring spell she’d summoned it with before operated on knowledge of the object and its surroundings, she wasn’t going to be getting her off that way.
Support came from what should have been a surprising source in any other situation. “Um... Penny,” Fluttershy said in her usual subdued voice, approaching the marechild and the draconequus. She reached a hoof out and gently placed it on Penny’s back. “I know you’re scared and might not even be aware of what’s happening, but you need to let go of Discord.”
It was hard to tell, given that he’d begun shaking his lion paw again, but there was a side to side movement of Penny’s head. Fluttershy didn’t relent, however. “I promise that we won’t let him hurt you if you let go.”
“She’s telling the truth, sugarcube,” Applejack added. “Regardless of what y’all did or didn’t do, ya don’t deserve this.”
Much to Twilight’s surprise, Penny opened her eye slightly to direct a sidelong glance at Fluttershy. She seemed to consider her and AJ for a moment before shutting her eye again.
“Discord, could you please stop shaking her so—”
Penny let go as Discord’s wildly shaking paw reached its peak. Were it not for the fact that she were in danger of injury, the height of the arc she was launched in might be considered impressive. As it stood, everypony was simply too stunned to react.
At her highest point, the aura cone around Penny’s horn intensified. A powerful wind whipped all around them, creating an updraft that slowed the descent of the flying filly. Her body leveled out...
Twilight rushed in the direction that Penny was falling. She once more attempted to seize the pony projectile with a telekinesis charm. Between the speed of the falling pony, the interference from whatever wind spell was being cast, and the layer of magic that was still nested beneath Penny’s skin, Twilight just couldn’t get a grip.
Frowning, Twilight did some quick mental math as she ran. Two rapid blink spells could work in theory, but the speed of Penny’s descent would make things tough, timing wise. Besides, with Penny shielding herself in this way, there’d be no way Twilight would be able to get her.
Sliding to a stop, Twilight cast a spell on the ground in the area Penny would touch down. None might see it, the hard-packed hillside became soft like a pillow and pliable like sand. The impact might still hurt, but it was all she could do, now.
“But does she stick the landing?” Discord asked the microphone that had manifested from nowhere. All eyes were on Penny.
No. No she didn’t.
Perhaps it was the moment of distraction. Maybe it was because Penny was still weak from the medical coma and hadn’t even begun recuperating... Either way, the spell fizzled at the last moment and, with one last gust of wind, Penny went tumbling across the hillside.
Even as Discord appeared to the side of the small pony, brandishing a scorecard rating the display a two, everypony joined Twilight at the crash site. Although the small pony had torn a fair furrow into the land, she did not appear to be broken.
“What’s wrong?” Discord asked with a smile that didn’t quite sell itself as genuine. “I thought chaos was your playground.” These last words were once again spoken in Penny’s own voice.
Silver Penny did not rise to his bait.
Her eyes were screwed shut, and she seemed to be hyperventilating. Tears left dirty streaks through the dirt on her face. As Twilight grew closer, she could hear the filly chanting. “Get it out. Get it out. Get it out. GET IT OUT OF ME!”
Fluttershy was the first to reach the filly’s side. She carefully pulled Penny from the dirt and held her close—an attempt to calm her with her warmth. It didn’t seem to ease Penny at all, though. “What’s wrong with her, Twilight?”
Again Twilight found herself examining Penny with her magic. Even though there was no indication that the small mage was casting a spell, there was a ball magic located within her stomach. It appeared to be the same sort of densely packed variety of energy she’d kept just under the surface of her skin moments before, but now it seemed to be trying to keep something in, rather than out.
A bit more probing, and she found her answer: Discord’s magic. Had she passively absorbed some of the draconequus’s energy when he’d teleported her? Or had it been from the physical contact?
Penny’s eyes jerked open at the touch of her magic and she looked pleadingly to Twilight. There was an unfamiliar glint in her eyes when she spoke. “P-please, Aunt Twilight,” she begged with teary eyes. It was chilling how childlike she sounded in that moment. “I can’t get it out on my own. Get it out of me!”
In that moment, hearing Silver Penny call her ‘Aunt Twilight’, she pushed all thoughts from her mind. Her friends, the princess’s request... even Discord could wait.
As gentle as she could, and taking the care to not allow any excess energy to bleed into Penny, she encompassed the smaller unicorn’s magic bubble in her own shield spell and began to guide it up, out of her belly. It was not an easy affair; Discord’s magic resisted every step of the way, and refused to stay in one static form.
“Discord, fix whatever you did to her!” Twilight demanded as the energy became visibly lodged in Silver’s throat. “Her magic’s unstable; she shouldn’t be using it at all!”
The draconequus reclined in the air with a disinterested snort. Conjuring a glass of chocolate milk with a snap of his talons, he replied, “Don’t blame me when your little amalgamation of order and chaos tries to take something that was never hers and suffers the consequences.” Once he finished drinking the glass, he crumpled the milk like paper and dabbed his face clean. “Honestly, just because the whelp has a little chaos in her and she thinks my power is her birthright.”
He smiled and quietly snapped his talons. the obstruction in Penny’s throat came loose and rocketed out of her mouth. As the unicorn pair’s fields of magic fell away, revealing a stained-glass lamp shaped like Discord that, unlike Penny, did stick the landing.
Although Penny went limp, she remained conscious. Fixing him with a hateful glare, the likes of which Twilight had never seen from the small pony, she said, “I never tried to take your magic, fucker.” She spat, the wad of spit quickly turning into a parakeet. “I’ve been in a coma with a magic suppressor strapped to my horn for the last two weeks. The moment my band came off, my body’s been in overdrive trying to fill my reservoir.”
A dark smile crossed Penny’s face. “Thanks for the help, Twilight,” she added, not looking away from Discord. “Where’s my hammer? The library?”
~ 11 ~
I don’t know why Discord perks up at mention of my hammer but his smile grows far wider than one’s head should allow. He looks from me to Twilight and chuckles. “Yes, Twilight. Do tell us where her hammer is,” he says in a far too interested tone. “She might be a magic parasite, but she’s got spunk.”
Don’t turn anything into semen, Discord. Please don’t turn anything into semen. Especially not me.
I chance a glance at Twilight, but the look on her face tells it all. There’s no way in Tartarus that she’s going to give me my hammer or even tell me where it is. I don’t blame her for not trusting me, either; I can’t even stand, we have no idea if I’m going to start surging again, and I probably am stupid enough to attempt a summoning charm with no frame of reference where it is or what might be in the way of it.
Note to self. Learn that useful dimensional pocket spell.
Twilight looks from me to Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, I need you to fly Penny to the library,” she says in an authoritative voice. It’s an instruction that leaves the pegasus bristling. “My parents should be able to take care of her until this is resolved.”
Immediately, Rainbow flares her wings in what I’ve come to recognize as a pegasus threat display. “Why do I have to take her? I don’t want to do with her after what she did to you!” she snaps. “Make Fluttershy do it!”
Fluttershy’s whispered “I wouldn’t mind,” goes unheard by everyone but me, unfortunately. Even as I find myself wishing I could nestle myself further under the soft yellow pony, Twilight shakes her head.
“The princess seems to believe that Fluttershy is our best bet for rehabilitating Discord,” she says. “I trust her judgement and you should too. Besides, you are the fastest in the group.”
With some dark curses I am unable to make out, the rainbow pegasus launches herself off the ground, snatching me roughly from Fluttershy’s care. Within no time, we’re several hundred feet above Ponyville. High enough to kill me, for sure.
Why am I not scared, then? I wonder as Rainbow’s grip around my midsection tightens. I would normally be terrified to be at this sort of height.
Instead of flying in the direction of the town library, though, we linger for a bit.
“I can’t believe she trusts you,” Rainbow mutters. “You tried to murder her, yet she’s been watching over you like family since she brought your sleeping butt down from Canterlot!”
For the slightest moment, her grip shifts, as though she’s contemplating dropping me. “Killing me would make you no better than how you saw Soren,” I say in a tired voice. “Even if he deserved it, Soren wasn’t in a sound state of mind. You seem pretty rational to me, so it would be worse... and I don’t think you’re a murderer, even if you might feel justified.”
“Wha...” Her grip slackens, but still I remain there in her arms. “Why are you talking like Soren’s somepony else? You’re him, aren’t you?”
Amazingly, I manage the strength to shake my head. “I am... or, was.” Moving’s hard, and it leaves me feeling exhausted. “I... Did Twilight tell you about what happened in Canterlot before I was put in a coma?”
Rainbow tightens her grip as she says, “No.”
“I... I killed a changeling to protect somepony—a complete stranger.” I look down at the town and force down the thought that some piece of me still deserves to plummet. “The part of me that once was Soren Friedrich was too full of emotional baggage, and simply couldn’t take having killed another thinking being... It was tearing me apart inside.”
Water rims my eyes as the memory of pulling the plug on the part of my psyche that was Soren. The heartbreak of watching him fade away, leaving behind just another memory... just collected knowledge.
“The part of me that was Soren... he knew it would be too hard for me if he remained,” I whisper with a sob. “We decided together that it was his time to pass. In a sense, I’m not the pony who tried to kill Twilight anymore; I’m just the cumulative result of a lot of ponies’ bad decisions. I still don’t know what my decision’s even done to me.”
A heavy silence hangs over the pair of us once I finish speaking. Can’t rightly blame Rainbow. I knew that Rainbow Dash, out of loyalty for Twilight, disliked me and the fact that Twilight was ordered to instruct me in penance for her part in everything that happened, so for me to suddenly tell her I wasn’t even sure I was the same pony must be really confusing.
After what seems like minutes, Rainbow once again begins flying us down towards a familiar looking tree in the middle of town. “For what it’s worth, I’m happy you care about my a—about Twilight enough that you’d be willing to protect her, even when she doesn’t think she needs protection,” I say softly. “At the same time though, never be so loyal that you’re willing to become a monster for the sake of others... It’s not worth it. Trust... me. Not Soren, but Silver Penny.”
With these final words, it becomes too difficult to keep my eyelids open. I’ve expended too much energy... I chide myself. Reckless, that’s what I am. Always pushing too hard, even now.
Surprisingly, I don’t pass out. It’s weird, I know. I’m conscious of everything going on around me as Rainbow lands outside the library; I just can’t move any of my limbs.
What catches me off-guard, however, is that I’m being handled a lot gentler than when we took off. Was it something I said? Instead of being grasped around the midsection like a sack of potatoes there’s just one hoof snaked around my torso, just behind my forelimbs, like I’m some sort of doll.
There’s an awkward three-legged shuffle that I can feel in how I’m held as Rainbow makes her way over to the door, and then a knocking sound. I don’t get why she’d knock; it’s a fucking library and it’s broad daylight.
Honestly, it’s kinda awkward being luggage. At least if I had control of my body, I could make an attempt at an awkward conversation to fill the gap, but I don’t even think Rainbow realizes I’m aware of everything going on around me. Not that I’d chance magic trying to let her know. I burned a lot of what I’d absorbed containing that bit of Discord’s magic I’d pulled in.
After but a few moments, the sound of a door opening greets my ears. “Oh hello, Rainbow, Twilight’s not—” It’s weird... even though I’ve never heard this voice in my life, I know from lingering memories of Lyra’s childhood that this voice belongs to Twilight’s mother, Twilight Velvet. “Oh! Silver Penny! What happened to her? I thought she was still in the hospital!”
You know how it’s super awkward when people start talking about you like you aren’t even there or they don’t notice you? Yeah. I loathe being unable to speak for myself. Instead, I’m left listening to Rainbow explaining what happened because I don’t have the good fortune to just pass out.
Suffice to say, Rainbow tries to not make me sound like a psycho as she tells Twilight Velvet about how Discord poofed me from the hospital to near Fluttershy’s place and how consequently I bit him. Or how I wanted to smash him with my hammer... Or how I vomited up a lamp. I say tries because, let’s be honest here, she sounds insane just for saying it.
All Velvet says as she takes me in a telekinetic grip is, “Thank you for bringing her, Rainbow.” Once I feel momentum from being moved and hear the door close, she adds, “You’re just like Shining Armor. Even in the face of a larger foe, you’re a fighter.” Not long after, I hear running water. “I wonder if you were like that before they used his genes to stabilize you, or if that came after...”
Without warning, I’m eased into warm water up to my midsection. As water gets poured over my head, I hear her say, “Now, let’s get you cleaned up.”
~ 11 ~
Mmmmh... Somepony prods me gently. What?
“... Penny. I need you to wake up.”
Wake up? When did I fall asleep?
“Silver Penny!” The next prod is nowhere near as gentle. There’s a sense of urgency to it. That voice is familiar though... “How long as she been like this?”
“Rainbow Dash brought her here just over three hours ago.” That’s Twilight Velvet’s voice. “She was unconscious when Rainbow brought her. I suspected she was just tired from over-exerting herself.”
From what I can tell, I’m tucked into a bed again. There’s a nice downy comforter wrapped around me, and I can feel a pillow propping me up. Nice and fluffy.
“I put her to bed after giving her a bath, but aside from breathing, she hasn’t moved at all.” There’s a lot of concern in her voice. “I’ve seen restful sleep before, but this is different. Is it possible that she’s slipped back into a coma?”
She... sounds really concerned for me. We haven’t even met—I tried on purpose to keep myself out of their lives—but she sounds... like a worried grandparent. Is she seriously accepting me as her kin, even knowing my origin... and what I did?
“It’s possible.” That voice... I remember speaking to them earlier. Nurse Redheart. That’s it! “She was remarkably weak upon waking, in no small part due to the lengths we went to ensure her mana pathways healed properly. From what Twilight told us, she’s always pushed herself harder than she should, so it’s quite possible she overexerted herself too much again.”
Oh... They think I’m in a coma again. But I feel fine; I just can’t move a muscle. But that’s no good. I don’t want ponies worrying about me like that. Fuck knows I put them all through enough through what I do. It doesn’t feel right to let them do so when I’m just too tired to move.
But if I can’t open my eyes or give any physical indicator that I’m awake and can hear them, what can I do?
Reaching within myself, I can feel that my reserves are fuller than they were, although they’re nowhere near full... At least I can manipulate my magic; if I couldn’t I might actually worry... I might be able to pull off a spell, but what? Prestidigitation might work, if i wasn’t tucked in so tight. I don’t wanna make it seem like I’m just firing off randomly or surging by trying to levitate something either...
If only I could just speak.
Wait... I remember reading up on a cantrip not unlike prestidigitation... Just as multipurpose, but for what I want to do, it’s perfect. One of the effects is to create a sound at a point of origin of my choosing. Feasibly I should be able to use it to replicate speech.
But how do I cast thaumaturgy again?
“H-hello?” The sound isn’t perfect and there’s a slight distortion effect, but it’s definitely close to my voice. Admittedly, I could do without hearing the pair of them startled. “Don’t worry. I’m not in a coma. I’m just really, really tired. Couldn’t move a muscle if I tried, so I chanced thaumaturgy.”
There’s a sigh of relief from Velvet, but Redheart’s all business. “Is there any numbness to your limbs? Can you feel anything at all?” she asks, prodding a random spot in the blanket cocoon.
“No,” I tell them. “No numbness. Few sore bruises... Could be worse. No manaflow in my extremities. Burned a lot not dying.”
I frown inwardly. I’m low enough already, and I’m pretty sure if I don’t cut off soon, I’m not going to have anything left. “Can’t keep this up... Really low right now, output exceeding input...” Somehow, I don’t even need to reach out to know both of them are frowning too.
“Before I cut off and try to rest some more,” I say, feeling warmth in my face even as I force myself to form complete sentences for this. “Thank you for bathing me, Missus Velvet. You...” How do I phrase this? “Didn’t have to do this for me. I appreciate it. Everything I’ve been through... last few days, no, weeks... feel cleansed... more ways than one.”
There’s a moment of silence, and then a gentle touch on my mane. Rather than muss it up like Dad and Twilight did, she neatly parts it around my face and horn. “Dear, you needn’t worry,” replies the mother of my gene donor. “Twilight might have skipped the topic out of respect for cultural differences, but ponies don’t view bathing as a taboo as you do. We’d do so for any who could not do so for themselves, blood ties or no.”
Much to my surprise, she pecks me on the forehead, just below my horn before walking away with the nurse. If I accepted Shining and Cadance’s offer, she’d be my grandmother, wouldn’t she? Tears rim my eyes as it occurs to me that I’m actually considering it. Now... it doesn’t seem like such a bad thing. I don’t have to be alone.
I... Soren never knew his grandparents all that well. Surprisingly muscles twitch, parting my lips with a smile. On his father’s side, both died before he was even born, and on his mother’s, they never spent near enough time to bond before passing in his teens.
Here, though, I’m being offered a second chance. Why was Soren so opposed to the idea of being family, if only adoptive, with Shining, Cadance, Twilight, and the parents? Guy spent too much of his time with his head in a book, treating life like a narrative and breaking things down into story elements. That’s why we agreed that he should go, though, isn’t it? So that I can be what he could not—what he’d hold me back from achieving?
Maybe that’s part of what that dream was trying to tell me. It’s okay to compromise... Life’s not just about being who you want you to be, or being who the world wants you to be, but finding that fine balance. I think... I think the world wants me to be happy for a change, and I think I’m actually willing to give that a chance. I feel... hope?
But what of those nightmarish images... that suffering and dread? That all felt too real to be just a dream.
And Discord called me an amalgamation of chaos and order... What did he mean when he said that? Does he think there’s a little chaos in me because Soren was a human?
Unfortunately, I don’t fall asleep and pass the time away. All I can do is listen as Twilight Velvet putters about the library throughout the day. It’s boring as shit, being unable to read, unable to talk, or even exercise. My magic reservoir is filling much slower than it did when we were in Canterlot... How much damage did I do to myself?
It’s hard to judge the passage of time, but it definitely feels like I’m hardly building up anything. I have a few theories as to why, and two of them aren’t very favorable. The first theory is that my aether furnace—the core of a pony’s aetheric system—is damaged or mostly inert. If it’s damaged, I could feasibly be severely handicapped for the rest of my life; but if it were damaged, I’d have been pulled back to the hospital as soon as Rainbow brought me here.
The second theory is that I have been absorbing massive amounts of residual magic during my time at the castle. This might explain the magic reserves being above average for a full grown adult, as well as why I’m just above burnout levels. This means that unless I can accelerate my mana production, I would pretty much have to live around more powerful mages like some kind of magic vampire, or live in a very magically active area.
That wouldn’t be any fun though! I wanna explore and learn more about myself and the world! When I think about it, there’s so much I’d like to do. Plus there’s the merc work I wanna get in on!
The last theory—the one I want to believe is true—suggests that the emergency conversion after doing all that enchantment I performed put a major strain on my body’s mana channels. Coupled with the burn-out and the surge... The limited magic intake during my coma, courtesy of the suppressor, likely would have hindered my body’s recovery beyond the mended strains. So the mana flows, but not as well. Aetheric atrophy.
Thankfully, Velvet checks in from time to time. She’s not loud, presumably on the off chance that I’ve nodded off, but that doesn’t stop from talking to me from time to time. Some of it’s just little things, like how the Ponyville atmosphere is so nice this time of year. Some of it’s not so little, like how she catches glimpses of Shining Armor in my appearance.
It honestly makes me wonder just how much his gene infusion is affecting my appearance. I already had vibrant blue eyes before the infusion, but I’ve been noticing they’re becoming lighter... Like Shining’s. If I had more streaks of blue in my mane, I’d almost go so far as to say I resemble Velvet... my would-be grandmother. I imagine there might be more to come, though.
That actually brings to question something I’d completely ignored for the past several months. Dr. Forceps and Twilight only mentioned using Shining Armor’s genetic material to stabilize me... but I would still have to have some sort of point of origin for what would count for my ‘mother’s’ share of genes.
That would mean that Soren’s mother’s genes were successfully converted, or somepony else’s genes were transmitted during my transformation. I swear to fuck that if Lyra’s my mom, I’ll scream when I can move my body again. I find it hard to believe that some random number generator just ran in the background to generate the rest of it... But then again... Fucking magic.
I really do wish I’d fall asleep, but for whatever reason, I just can’t do it. Even quieting my mind is impossible for me to achieve. That’s disappointing, because I really want to check up on Book. I mean... She didn’t want us to let Soren go... Could this have changed her?
Some time near dinner time—at least, that’s what I’m assuming by the soup smell—Twilight and a stallion whose voice I’ve never heard before enter the library. The voice reminds me of Shining, but is more soft-spoken. The sound of conversation between Velvet and the stallion I assume to be Nightlight fills the library, which hints to me that I’m upstairs.
Now, I can tell that Twilight’s here because rather than join her mother and father in conversation, she rushes upstairs to check in on me.
“Penny!” she cries out, pulling open one of my eyelids. Unsurprisingly she looks concerned as hell. “Are you alright?”
All I can do is move my open eye from side to side. It’s about all I can manage as far as muscle movement is concerned. No, Twi, I most definitely am not alright!
Luckily, being he clever pony she is, she recognizes that as a no. “Are you unable to move your body?” she asks. When I move my eyes down and up, she frowns. “I’m hesitant to do so given the unstable nature of your aetheric system, so I want your permission before I attempt a diagnostic spell. Do you consent?”
Again, I look up and down before locking my eye with hers. If you can fix this I will literally hug you!
She releases my eyelid and I’m plunged back into darkness. Almost immediately, I feel the warmth of her magic washing over me. It starts at the base of my horn and works its way down through my body. The touch of her magic is very thorough, but again, I notice how together her magic feels. Like she’s trying to keep me from leeching it away.
A shiver wracks my body as it probes deeper. My limbs begin to tingle—not quite paresthesia level, but I’m gonna faint level—as it caresses my mana channels. Muscles spasm, and then she goes right down to my core.
She gasps as she pulls her magic back. “How can this be?” Her question isn’t really directed at anybody, since it’s pretty clear I can only answer a yes or no question when she opens my eye. “Even with the suppressor on your horn, you should have been able to absorb all of the ambient magic you need through the rest of your body. Your reservoir and mana channels have grown substantially, but there’s no mana flow... Your aether furnace is like a candle warming a mansion, rather than a roaring flame like it should be.”
I... actually have a theory about what she just said. If you liken a magical surge to a fire being directed out of the horn, putting a suppressor over that horn would be like starving the fire of oxygen... smothering it. Somehow, the flame never went completely out, but it was left incredibly weak.
That would explain why, even though I have some reserves, there’s almost no magic going to my extremities, and why I’m barely recuperating anything. Just maintaining my grip on Discord and then slowing my fall burned through so much. To say nothing of keeping his magic from seeping into me.
Once again, she pulls my eyelid open. “Penny, if we don’t do something, you won’t have long to live” She looks stricken. I’ve experienced enough self-recrimination in front of the mirror to know what she’s thinking. She blames herself for this... but she couldn’t have known! “This is—”
I begin pumping mana into a spell. “This is not your fault!” The spell comes easier than it did earlier, and it’s a bit clearer, too. Is it the smartest thing to burn what little energy I have on thaumaturgy, especially at this volume? No. But I can’t let this stand. “I made a lot of poor choices and suffered... You had to make a snap decision. Let me tear myself apart... or act in my best interest at the time. YOU. ARE. NOT. AT. FAULT. The doctors at the hospital should’ve been keeping an eye on that sort of thing, especially with the suppressor staying on. I—”
The moment my channeling slips, I regret using the spell. You know that feeling when you’re dunked into ice cold water? The feeling that fills my my core is akin to that. Like someone just opened up my torso and poured a bucket full of ice into me.
My unopened eye snaps open and my jaw clenches. My entire body feels like it’s cramping. Twilight backs away as a tremor wracks my body. It’s like tiny daggers racing through me, with the stabbity stab stab! I suck in a deep breath, but surprisingly, I don’t scream out in pain. Oh shit. I fucked up big time.
Twilight acts without bothering to ask consent this time. The warmth of her magic surge down to my core. Even so, it hardly counters the sudden sense coldness.
Her eyes lock with mine. “Penny, I’m hesitant to do this because your aetheric system is still not fully recovered, but the flame in my candle metaphor has degraded to an ember. If that goes out completely, you will die.” Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I give her a wide-eyed look. “I’m going to attempt to rekindle your aether furnace and give you a magic infusion. This might hurt, though.”
With a force of will that I never would have attempted were the stakes not so high, I force myself to speak out loud. “Please, Aunt Twilight,” I cry with a volume that belies how weak I feel. Tears stream down my face, and I realize that I’ve probably never sounded or looked so much like a child as I have right now. “I don’t wanna to die! Not like this!”
My voice must’ve carried to the lower levels of the library, because two ponies I recognize as Twilight’s parents rush up the stairs accompanied by Spike, who I hadn’t even known was here. They rush to join Twilight at my side amidst shouts asking what’s happening.
Spike looks terrified as he watches me seize, and in that moment it hits me how bad this must actually be. I’m not just dying... I’m dying painfully in front of others. I’m so scared and I can barely keep myself from biting my own tongue off.
Twilight is quick to explain and co-opt her parents help in doing whatever it is she’s going to do. “Channel with me, and I’ll guide the spell.” Looking to Spike, she adds, “You might want to hold her down, Spike.”
As the small drake throws himself across my torso, three horns begin to shimmer. The color of their magic shifts between pink, purple, and blue in sync, but Twilight’s is by far the brightest.
At first, I feel four points of intrusion in the channels passing through my limbs. The masses of magic just sit there, bringing warmth to the affected areas. That warmth becomes similar to sitting in too-hot water—a relief to my everything as it pours through my body. That’s not all you’re trying to do, though, is it?
As the four points begin to... I guess I’d say swirl, there’s a sudden pressure deep in my core. She’s just pumping a raw mix of her parents magic into what she’d described as a mere ember. Like throwing petrol onto an open flame, igniting into a much steadier flame and jumping the heat feeling from uncomfortable to straight-up painful.
The air around us begins to churn as my body begins to pull in ambient magic from the outside. Loose parchment flies freely through the room as I feel power beginning to well inside me. My chest aches as a pyroclasm of energy washes through my aetheric system, pushing out the magics of Twilight and her parents entirely. Imagine chugging a boiling cup of coffee, and then having that coffee vaporize inside your belly; the scalding gas fills your belly, your lungs, and bleeding out to lick the very inside of your chest cavity... Multiply that by fifty.
I scream as the surge manifests. My horn feels like it’s on fire. There’s no way I should have this much power, but—despite the pain—I can feel the three magics coursing through my system, being converted and integrated, and it’s no small amount.
No, I can’t let this surge put me in an even worse situation. I need to get this under control, but how?
Books tear free from a shelf, and the realization that this is going to cause damage to them if unchecked gives me an idea. Enchantment requires a specific magic throughput, or else it fails—violently at times. It requires a stillness... Focus.
First, I cast prestidigitation, creating the image of a blue ring not unlike Twilight’s suppressor around the base of my horn. Drawing on my memory of the indestructibility enchantment, I begin layering the most complex matrix I’ve ever attempted.
If I fuck this up, I’m going to blow my fucking horn off... if not my entire face.
It’s a long process, but much to my surprise, nopony interferes. They’re standing a respectable distance back. I can’t blame them.
Eventually, as I divert the energy into the enchantment, I manage to complete the indestructibility enchantment and the surge loses its steam. Books begin to drop to the floor as the air currents in the room lessen. I breathe a sigh of relief, but there’s still enough mana leaking from my system that I should be able to layer another one onto the ring. But what?
The memory of the other fascinating enchantment on my hammer comes to mind. Open-ended enchantment that absorbs and stores a percentage of kinetic energy to be drawn upon later. Could I actually manage it? The glyph for kinetic energy is pretty clear in the enchantment matrix, and magic is one of the first glyphs you learn in the art.
I’ve never attempted to alter a preexisting matrix before. There’s no other choice though. Enchantment is the surest way I can keep this from spinning out of control again.
“I know you hate when I try new magic, Twilight... If this doesn’t work...” I rasp, looking to... to my what? Mentor? Family? Yeah... family sounds nice, if even for just one moment. “I’m sorry about the mess.”
I release the prestidigitation spell and begin layering the second enchantment on the now very real ring. The bright azure mana cone around my horn, still flickering pink, purple, and light blue grows brighter instead of dimmer. As a bright flash fills the room, I feel a strange sense of peace.
“I’m sorry...”
~ 12 ~
My eyes flutter open as the sun’s morning rays warm my face. With some effort, I sit up and look around in confusion. This is not a part of the library I remember, but it’s definitely the library. You don’t mistake the inside of a giant fucking tree. Would that make this the third floor, the actual sleeping area of the massive tree library?
The room’s broken up into two levels. There’s an upper level with a large telescope visible from where I am, and presumably has Twilight’s bed and Spike’s basket. Here on the lower level, there’s a neatly made king-size bed, and the small futon mattress I’m occupying. That’s in addition to an ungodly amount of books.
Nopony’s around... It’s deserted up here.
That isn’t to say the building’s deserted, though. There’s the distant sound of voices, Twilight included, and the smell of baked goods wafting up the open stairway. My stomach rumbles at the smell of treats.
At the foot of the futon lies my rucksack and my hammer. A smile comes easily as drag myself, not without much difficulty, from beneath the comforter over to the hammer. It takes a lot of effort to pull it onto the floor-based mattress with my hooves, but when I succeed, I wrap it in a hug.
I missed you... A sense of safety washes over me as I nuzzle the broad surface of its head, thankful that somepony had the decency to wash the changeling juices off of it. I really could’ve used you when Discord was bullying me. But if he ever comes near me again, we’ll show him, won’t we?
I giggle in a soft voice at the thought of smashing that smug bastard with my hammer. I doubt I could ever do any real damage to him, and he’d likely just try to fuck with my head by shattering like glass or pretending I exploded him. It’d make me feel better for sure, though.
Without any real reasoning behind it, I begin to channel a levitation spell. Almost immediately I feel something tugging at the edge of the spell. Looking up, I can just see the crystalline blue ring around the base of my horn shimmering in response to my spell. So the enchantment succeeded... and my core feels fine now.
I start with the least amount of energy possible, focusing on my rucksack with a smile. I know the basics of spellcasting, but I definitely need to learn moderation. May as well start now. It doesn’t even stir at first. Gradually, I up my output until I can lift it reliably.
I make a mental note of the feeling of my output and mentally half it. This is about twice what I should normally need to levitate an object of this size. Again, I giggle.
Setting down the rucksack and terminating the spell, I feel the ring resonating with my magic. This gives me an idea, I think as I pull open the bag and scatter books across the bed. Let’s see if I can cast from the ring instead of my own reserves.
Spotting the aged copy of Daring Do and Quest for the Sapphire Stone, my smile falters. I planned on getting the picture inside framed and giving both to Twilight, but life has a tendency to get in the way. No chance of that now, so I guess I should just give it to her as-is.
It’s a bit tricky to draw on the ring’s stored power at first, because it’s really counterintuitive to pull magic in and immediately redirect it to the horn without it running through the entire conversion process. It’s not too difficult, but it definitely feels off as I slowly amp up the power in the levitation spell until the book feels manageable.
Actually standing is a lot more of a challenge. I don’t have the pins and needles sensation that usually accompanies my legs feeling like rubber, but nonetheless they are quite unsteady. Even more so since I’m levitating a very precious book.
In spite of the uneasy stance that threatens to topple me, I slowly make my way over to the stairs. I’m sure anypony who flies past the window might assume me to be completely drunk, but to my credit, I don’t fall flat on my face or arse.
Getting down the stairs takes a bit more effort, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I leaned on the wall the whole way down. In my defense, I need to switch back to casting the spell from my own reserves near the bottom of the stairs, and that switchover takes a few moments to set up.
This is a pretty nice casting setup though. It seems to absorb half the power channeled into a spell, so if I double up on the power input, I can basically get a ‘free’ cast of equivalent length or power. It’s not as efficient, but this method is going to do a good job of getting me in the habit of properly scaling my power and not wasting energy. Gonna have to get good at juggling though.
By the time I cross the second floor and reach the bottom of the stairs down to the first, I’ve switched several times, but even then I’m beginning to feel a bit tired. Then again, there’s almost a three week gap from when I last had a real meal and yesterday’s tuna sandwich. It’s no wonder my muscles are worn out already.
But hey, I’m in the main area on the first floor. I don’t think anypony would fault me for taking a breather. Just look how fucked up I was yesterday. Walking and using magic is a small miracle.
“Penny! You shouldn’t be up!” Twilight exclaims, as she finds me leaned up against the wall. “How are you up?”
She attempts to help me up, but I raise a hoof. It’s shaky, but I manage to put myself down on a cushion near the center table with the wooden statue. “You know me,” I say with a laugh. “I’m nothing if not tenacious.” Levitating the book over to her, I grin. Just call me Tenacious P. “I wanted to give this to you the day I got it, but... shit kinda went sideways.”
She accepts the book and looks at it. “Penny, I already have this book,” she says, looking down at its aged cover with an unsure smile.
My grin broadens as I catch sight of her parents and Spike entering from what I assume to be a kitchen. “C’mon, look on the inside cover, Aunt Twilight!” I say with an excited giggle, very conscious of the childish excitement that seems to overtake me. “You’ll be very surprised.”
When she does so, her eyes begin to water. She manages to not drop it, but she still passes the book to her parents, who show it to Spike. Spike reads the writing on the inside of the cover aloud for all to hear. “To my number one fan, Twilight Sparkle, signed A.K. Yearling.” He looks from the book to me in confusion. “I don’t get it.”
Twilight trots over to me and wraps me in a bone-crushing hug one might expect from an earth pony. “Shining Armor got me that copy for my fifth birthday,” she say, resting her chin on top of my head. “I thought I’d lost it in Magic Kindergarten.”
Nightlight steps forward and looks down at me. “How ever did you come across this?” he asks, smiling down at the sight. “This couldn’t have been easy to get ahold of.”
Peering between Twilight’s shoulder and head, I frown. “The day I... protected a member of the royal family, I’d been out exploring Canterlot—getting supplies for a journey of self-discovery.” My eyes drift over to Velvet and Spike. “I accidentally found the shop when I got us—Eve and Strong, the guards escorting me that day—lost. Found all sorts of books that would be helpful on my trip, but I was drawn to the book, as if by fate.”
Silently, I chuckle at the inside joke that was the fact that I once went by a name involving fate. “I asked to look at it since the seller said it was a signed first edition...” I grin again. “I saw that and the photo tucked in the back of the book, and I had to.”
Twilight releases her grip on me and lowers herself so that we’re on the same level. “Penny, this is easily one of the most thoughtful things, anypony has ever done for me,” she says, wiping a tear from her eye and sniffling. “How can I ever repay you?”
My smile falters at this. Repay? Me? She’s got this bass ackward. Shaking my head, I lean in and nuzzle her on the cheek. “You already have,” I reply. “You took me in, despite your reservations or the fact that you were instructed to. You taught me about Equestria and the world. You trained me in magic. You saved my life twice. This is my thank-you for all of that and more.”
~ 12 ~
Some time later, I’m in the kitchen with Velvet and Nightlight. There’s a breakfast nook where I’m seated with a cup of mocha, but it’s small; it’s clear this library was never meant to house more than two live-in caretakers.
Twilight and Spike left not too long ago, so I’m just sitting awkwardly with her parents. I’ll give them credit, they’re being nice, but I can’t help but feel like they’re... judging me. I mean, I can’t blame them. They know that I tried to kill their daughter and now magic bullshit resulted in me being related to their son. Shit’s hella crazy, with me in the middle.
“So, Penny,” Nightlight asks, sitting across from me. “Why is it you keep calling Twilight your aunt? You aren’t actually related to her; Shining Armor’s blood was simply used to stabilize your genetics, but you’ve never officially been adopted into the family.”
I can’t help but blush and look away as Twilight Velvet places a bowl of oatmeal in front of me. She seems curious for my answer as well, although she doesn’t seem nearly as aggressive about it as Nightlight. Given how she was worried earlier, I can’t say I’m surprised.
Looking between the two, I take a long pull of the chocolatey beverage before steeling myself. “Ever since I earned my cutie mark and they had to stabilize me with an infusion of D—Shining Armor’s genes, I’ve been... changing.” I spare a glance at the broken shield on my flank so I don’t have to see their eyes narrow at my near slip-up. “My behaviour has been... almost childlike at times, and subconsciously I’ve been drawn to Shining and Twilight.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I shut my eyes. “Princess Cadance thinks it’s because my body is effectively that of an adolescent filly now, and that I’m starved for affection.” In spite of myself, a smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. “In a way, I think she’s right. This pony body has instincts that I never did, and one of those instincts seems to be recognizing ‘family’.”
“But that doesn’t explain why you’ve been calling Twilight your aunt.” It’s Velvet’s statement of incredulity this time. “Not really.”
I dip my mouth into the bowl of oatmeal to buy time to think. It’s at least a reasonable excuse, given that I need to get my strength back. Still...
Am I really going to have to out the fact that I’ve started to think of Shining as my father and that putting Soren to rest has only made that worse?
With a silent nod to myself, I decide that I can trust them. “In some of our talks... Shining Armor never explicitly made any such offer of adoption, he seemed to think I might benefit from—” How do I word this? “—not having to worry about all of the things I’ve been through. He even went so far as to say, and I quote, ‘Even if it’s not on a daughterly basis, I’m sure Cadance would love to have you around.’
“I initially turned it down for my own personal reasons, but instinct is weird, you know? That offer really helped my ever-changing mind latch onto your son as a father figure.” They share a look that I can’t help but question the meaning of. “At first, I was disturbed by my newfound habit of calling him Dad. After all, I’d just lost one family, only to start calling a stallion I’d only met a few times my father and wanting to make him proud? That’s weird, right?”
I don’t actually pause to let them answer. Instead, I continue, “When I killed that changeling in Canterlot, the part of me that was still Soren couldn’t cope. He was holding so much emotional baggage that I was beginning to break down with this new trauma,” I say, my eyes brimming with tears. “I had to... to let that part of my identity die and make Soren just another memory... I didn’t just decide to not let him influence me anymore, though. I literally let that part of my personality die. All while Princess Luna watched.”
Part of me still thinks that I shouldn’t be dumping all of this on them. Even if he’s not an active part of my mind now, he’s still left his marks. One of those was a refusal to open up about his feelings. That’s why I should tell them. If I can make them understand that my mind is a plaything for my body, they might...
“When I was in my coma, I had a dream.” I tell them, looking Velvet and Night in the eyes. Not at the same time, mind you. I only have one set of eyes and it would be really fucking creepy if I looked them both in the eyes at the same time. “I lived as a filly in an apartment in Canterlot Castle with Dad and Cadance. They’d adopted me when the pony that might’ve been my birth mother passed away. I... really began to accept them both, I think. I began to accept the idea that I deserved a bit of happiness instead of all these countless near-death experiences. Twilight and Shining never treated me like a burden, so I guess that’s why... when I see him next, I might ask if I can stay with them for a bit.”
For a long while, the three of us just sit there in silence. My awkward mental bullshit’s all on the metaphorical table. The pair occasionally shares a look as I finish my mocha and oatmeal, but neither says anything more. It’s just quiet and awkward.
Color me surprised that, once the food and drink are finished, I find myself being encircled in the warmth of a telekinesis spell. My mind doesn’t even have time to process that I’ve been picked up before I’m pulled over to Velvet wrapped in a hug.
She’s... hugging me. It’s kinda unreal to think about, but despite all the weird, self-centered bullshit I just spouted, I’m being hugged. It’s so warm...
“Penny, even if you don’t join the family,” she says, rubbing her cheek against the top of my head. “I’m happy that you recognize you deserve to be happy too.”
Nightlight doesn’t seem as convinced as Velvet, but he nonetheless joins her in the hug. This... is the thing I didn’t even know I was missing. This is the happiness and warmth I needed.
Crying tears of joy, I return the hug. Everything is going to be alright.
~ 12 ~
“Happy birthday, Silver Penny!”
The announcement startles me out of an enjoyable nap. Shaking my head, I look around. I’d have sworn that I was upstairs when I dozed off, but I’m back in the library proper. Clock says four. Have I been asleep for three hours? It’s strange, because I don’t remember coming back downstairs. Because fuck stairs!
Around me are several ponies. More than I would expect. Twilight, her parents, Pinkie, Rarity, Bon-Bon, and... Lyra are all gathered around me, smiling down at me as I try to blink away the sleep.
Part of me wants to chew out Twilight for there being a birthday celebration when I very clearly had wanted to be alone on my birthday. That part, however, is quickly overshadowed by the surprise of it all. Fucking hell! I could’ve been having a zappy dream! Don’t wake me during a zappy dream!
Instead, what I say is, “What.”
Pinkie Pie, bless her daft little heart, bounds over and pulls me upright, holding my body against hers. “It’s your birthday, silly-filly!” she exclaims. Defying all logic, she pulls a perfectly intact cupcake from her mane and sits it on the end of my muzzle. “I was going through my birthday rolodex last night, and I realized I didn’t have your birthday. So I went snooping through your things and found your ID—adorable photo, by the way—and found out your birthday was today!”
Again, “What?” This is quickly followed by me pawing at my face with one hoof.
There are so many things wrong with what she just said, not the least of which being her snooping through my stuff. At the same time, though, she remembered that I’m not big on parties and reduced the attendance to a smaller crowd. I guess I can waive the snooping in light of it.
Much to my surprise, most of them seem to be bearing some sort of gift-bag or present. Even Lyra and Bon-Bon have gifts, despite honestly never expecting to see them again. There even seems to be a few presents and a letter on the table behind the others... ones that don’t seem to have a pony associated with them.
“But why?” I can’t help but ask in confusion. “I’m happy that you all cared enough to show up, but why go through all this for me?”
I look from Pinkie to Rarity, and then Bon-Bon and Lyra. Why are they all giving me the same sad smile.
Much to my surprise, Lyra’s the one to speak up this time, rather than Pinkie. She steps forward, and I can see the swell of her belly. That’s right. She’s pregnant from that night. “Soren—no, Penny, Rainbow Dash told us about what you said to her yesterday,” she says, levitating her present across to me: a gift bag nearly as large as me. “It’s clear you’ve been through so much, even before I... before I ruined your life. I can’t even begin to make amends. I’m sure you must hate me, but I still want you to have this.”
Slowly, I pull the ribbon holding the gift bag shut and begin levitating out many things. The first gift is the digital camera I’d brought in my messenger bag when I came to Equestria. I remember wanting to take all sorts of photos, thinking that I’d be able to return home with an amazing album of memories.
The next item is a small red fleece blanket. Again, it’s another of my belongings; this one I’d worn as a little cloak while occupying Lyra’s body. Unlike when I brought it, however, it looks like brand-new. No cat hair or affiliated lint covers it. Similarly, the next item is a larger, brown fleece blanket in similar condition.
The final item is a saddlebag styled after the aforementioned messenger bag. Navy and grey, with gold shield buckles to keep the covers shut. Inside one of the pouches, there’s a card.
We tried to get your belongings refurbished, but some of it didn’t quite make it. We hope the saddlebag makes up for it. Signed Lyra and Bon-Bon.
By belongings, I assume she means my hat and my messenger bag. I’m not really too concerned about the notebook anymore, and likewise, anything else in the bag I might have forgotten can hardly be counted as important.
I shakily rise to my hooves and stagger over to Lyra. In an admittedly cat-like manner, I rub the side of my face against her foreleg. “I don’t hate you, Lyra,” I say as she gets the hint and rubs my head with a gentle hoof. A smile creases my face. “I don’t think Soren hated you, either. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry enough for the both of us.” Returning to my cushion, I add, “Thank you for the present, Lyra, Bon-Bon. I love it.”
It’s not a lie, either. Saddlebags will be much more effective for out-and-about work when I’m not on the road. Theoretically, I can even wear them in addition to the rucksack, so it’s win-win.
The next present to come forward is a small gift box meticulously wrapped in extravagant wrapping paper and a beautiful bow-ribbon. Rarity’s present, no doubt. There’s no card, but even if it is, this would have her signature all over it.
Respectful of the care put into the wrapping, I am very delicate in my touch as I peel away the ribbon and the paper. Opening the box, I can’t help but smirk. I levitate out the knit olive beanie and examine it. On one side, presumably the front, I see the familiar black-outlined gold chevron pattern that had been above the bill of my cap.
“Many weeks ago, Bon-Bon brought me that hat you’d brought with you to Equestria, asking it be refurbished,” Rarity explains when I look over to her. “Try as I may, I couldn’t patch the tears in the material or remove that awful stench of sweat. Not that the hat would fit you properly in your present form; this, on the other hoof, should.”
Levitating onto my head and pulling it down, I gasp in surprise. It comes down past the base of my horn, but when I look up, I can’t even see the material straining against the protrusion. It’s like I don’t even have a horn! A fascinating enchantment... but did Rarity do that?
This time, I don’t repeat the act I’d done with Lyra. Instead, I do a little pony curtsey and beam at her. “This is amazing, Rarity!” I exclaim, rubbing the spot where the chevrons rest over my horn. “Now I’ll have the element of surprise and my head will be warm in the winter months!”
An uneasy chuckle from everypony present reminds me that, by all appearances, I look like a foal. Talking like some kind of ambush predator probably weirds them all out. It wouldn’t be wrong, either. If I wear the hat around, nopony will judge me for the ring around my horn, and they’ll underestimate me if they try to rob me.
From Pinkie, I half expect to get some strange non-sequitur gift. I can’t explain why, but something about a muffin tin and a cucumber flashes through my mind. Instead, I get a scarf and boots that match the hat. Now I’m practically all set for winter! Maybe her Pinkie sense told her I’d need them? Beh, let’s not overthink it.
Twilight Velvet and Nightlight present me with a box of chocolates that I imagine came from Bon-Bon’s shop. It takes a lot to not start stuffing my face. Only the smell of a nearby cake can sustain me. Still, I do manage to find one peanut-butter ball that’s totally worth having a bite.
From Twilight Sparkle and Spike? A framed photo of the three of us at the picnic I ruined by jumping off of Canterlot. I don’t know whether I’m impressed more by the fact that one of the guard shadows brought a camera and thought to take a picture, or just how happy I look eating that tuna sandwich. That was a pretty good day, all things considered.
Even as I thank everypony—and dragon—for their presents, my eyes remain fixed on the two presents and the letter. Rather than look completely greedy, I go for the letter first. After all, it’s polite to open a card before a present if it comes attached.
The letter, obviously addressed to me, has a return address listing the Equestrian Bounty Hunter’s Guild. That’s right; I’d almost forgotten about applying for guild membership! With careful use of telekinesis, I’m able to slit open the side of the envelope to slide out the letter and the curious membership card inside. Dear Silver Penny,
We at the Equestrian Bounty Hunter’s Guild are honored to welcome you into our ranks. By being a member of the guild, you are permitted to take on missions that would otherwise be issued to the Royal Guard.
To find and accept a mission, take your membership card to any bounty board, found in all townships and cities in town halls, and press your card against the gem associated with the bounty or mission you wish to take on. The enchantment on the card will record the mission requirements and actively track them as they are covered. Upon completion of the mission, take your card to any bounty kiosk or town hall and present it to redeem your reward.
The enchantment in the card will also receive information on emergency missions in an area. Should an emergency arise, you may throw your lot in by holding your card to the sky and saying, ‘I accept.’
We thank you for joining our guild, and hope to hear of your future exploits.
Holy crap this is real. It’s my own personal little quest log! I levitate the card in front of me and smile. It shows a picture of me, my name, and a rank. There is even a little slot that says ‘title’, although this section is blank; probably because I’m just a lowly recruit. The opposite side of the card is blank, but for the emerald embedded in it. That’s probably where my quests will show up.
“Well, at least the area will get a little bit safer while I’m around,” I state with a sidelong glance to Twilight. “This close to the Everfree, I’m sure there are all sorts of bounties that pop up.”
Velvet, Spike, and the rest of the party guest s look shocked upon hearing me mentioning bounties. Not Twilight though. She just looks at me with a mix of disappointment and ‘Why am I not surprised?’
The first of the two gifts on the table is from... Evening Script. There’s a small note written on the label that says, “Penance, I still think this’ll suit ya better than Daring Do.” I smile. Even before I tear open the wrapping paper, I know what it is: Harry Trotter and the Mage’s Induction.
I’m caught off guard, when I find a second book in the package. My face flushes red as I read the title. You’re In Heat (And That’s Okay)! There’s a little note attached to the front of this booklet that says, “The way I figure it, ye’ve the body of an adolescent, so ye’ll be needin’ this sooner rather than later.”
“Oh screw you too, Eve!” I can’t help but blurt out as I gently levitate the books into one of the saddlebags before anyone can read the cover of the second book. Mindful of the company, I mutter, “Effing troll.”
That leaves just one present left. It’s an ornate, long gift-box that, rather than being held shut with ribbon, has hinges and a latch. There’s a small inscription on the bottom that says, To Silver Penny, from Shining Armor and Mi Amore Cadenza.
Shaking, I open the case and levitate out two scrolls. The first one is a letter, while the second has an official looking seal. Opting to read the letter first, I nearly choke back a sob. This... this can’t be real. I look teary-eyed from the letter to Twilight Sparkle and her parents. “Is this...?” I shakily ask. “Is this real?”
When the three of them nod, I levitate the letter to Lyra and Bon-Bon. Pinkie and Rarity join them in reading the letter. Almost immediately, the pink party pony gets that party plotting look about her, while the other three can’t do much more than gasp.
I hardly pay it any mind. Levitating before me is the sealed scroll. This is Cadance’s official seal; I’m sure of it. Popping it open with such care as to preserve the wax, I unfurl the parchment and look at the top.
Tears begin to stream down my face as I read the heading aloud. “Letter of Adoption...”
You have no idea how weird it is to write those four simple words. It’s one thing to keep blurting them out because instinct is a fickle beast or because I’m so messed up in the head at times... It’s another to find myself able to say them unironically and without regret. To be honest, I never thought I’d ever utter Mom or Dad again after my birth parents turned their backs on me.
First and foremost I am writing this letter as a thank-you. I say that, but if I’m being honest, it feels like there’s no amount of gratitude I can afford you that would be substantial enough to repay your kindness. I don’t doubt you’ll also be receiving letters from Aunt Twilight or Grandma Velvet and Grandad Light telling you about how I cried after the party. I can’t and won’t deny it.
I’ve bawled a lot since becoming a pony. Ponies seem so well-built for expressing grief and sadness. Most of the crying I’ve done as a pony has been for one reason or the other. This was different though. I can’t even begin putting into words how happy it made me feel. Just seeing your official wax seal on that copy of the adoption paperwork was shocking enough, but to see the official stamps of approval—Twilight verified them herself—of Princesses Celestia and Luna made it all the more real.
I promise to do my best as your adopted daughter, and a member of House Sparkle to make you proud. I’ve already planned out your Christmas Hearth’s Warming gift and once I’m back in shape, I plan on putting it together ASAP.
As it stands, I’ve gotta get back in shape, first. When Discord poofed me out the hospital room, I was helpless to defend myself. My body was weak from lack of magic, and it was all I could do to keep from absorbing his magic. If I thought circulating the changeling’s magic through my system so I could pull apart its illusion was awful, his magic was... wrong. Sickeningly sweet like antifreeze, but on an instinctual level I wanted nothing to do with it... I’ve never felt so helpless as I did right then... I still don’t know why, when Fluttershy insisted he apologize, he insisted I keep the lamp I vomited up.
How can anyone trust that... that... that thing. I’ll keep my distance, though. I’ve already tried to smash him with my hammer. It didn’t help; he just laughed at me.
I might not be suitable for the Royal Guard, but if I can help by doing what work they hoof off to the Equestrian Bounty Hunter’s Guild. Yes, it’s merc work, but only the sanctioned stuff, like monster extermination or escorting VIPs. No moral grey-area stuff. The idea is that, in lacking a guard contingent, the least I can do is help keep everypony else in Ponyville safe while I’m here.
That brings me to my plans. Before the end of the coming year, I’ll be joining you both in the Crystal Empire. As nice as it is to be here with Aunt Twilight in Ponyville, I know deep down that she and her friends have their own special destiny, and as much as I want to be there to watch it unfold, I know that I need to shape my own fate away from them. At first, I wanted to wander south, into the Mysterious South, or maybe the Forbidden Jungle, but I wanna help you two instead; I know you’ve both been trying for a foal.
I don’t have any specific dates in mind, but I plan on taking the train up to Manehattan once I’ve gotten a nice little fund saved up from contracts, and then wander my way as the pegasus flies, up to the Empire. I’ll send a letter when I leave.
I’ll try to keep you filled in on what’s going on, but I’ll be keeping myself busy with study, exercise, and eventually contracts.
Your grateful daughter,
Silver Penny
~ Interlude 1 ~
Batty Cunt
Master Corporal Evening Script
Evening Script
I know you probably thought you were being simultaneously helpful and funny, but come on. I was at the party with other ponies when I opened that. It was fucking mortifying! If anypony else had seen it, I’d probably have died of shame. Even more so after finding out that the booklet was actually a Playcolt and a Playmare magazine bound and given a cover.
I don’t even know what Aunt Twilight or my grandparents would say if they saw! You know the captain adopted me, right? You basically gave your boss’s daughter a stack of porn. Was it worth the laughs?
The worst part is that I’m probably going to be going into estrus soon, and an actual self-help guide would’ve actually been helpful. I don’t know how, but I can just tell it’ll be in February. That’s why I even opened up your gag gift in the first place...
~ Interlewd...? ~
The library’s empty; I made sure of it three times before closing up for the night. Aunt Twilight and Spike are out spending the night at Applejack’s place to help out with this year’s cider-making. The grandparents, on the other hoof, returned to Canterlot shortly before Nightmare Night.
Why all the secrecy?
Curiosity, really. See, I was reading the novel Eve gifted me while I was keeping an eye on the library for Twilight. Harry Trotter and the Mage’s Induction’s actually a pretty fun book. I mean yeah, Harry’s a bit of a Marty Stu, but at least his female foil, Inquisitive Mind—Hermione Granger, pretty much—keeps him in line. I’m about halfway through the book, where they’ve introduced the primary antagonist, and thankfully it’s not just a carbon-copy Lord Voldemort. Commanding Presence isn’t just magic Hitler.
Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. I was reading my novel when Cheerilee came to the check-out desk with a stack of books for teaching materials. It was a lot of medical textbooks—you know, the kind with the anatomical diagrams—as well as a book on sexual education. Seems she’s putting together her lesson plan for teaching her students sex-ed.
I don’t even remember what she said to me, or what I said to her. All I know is that, after filing away the cards for the books she checked out, it occurred to me that I could very well have this body’s first heat in the coming months. It’s all well and good to prep myself with Lyra’s lingering memories and memories of being Lyra, but if we’re being real, what she experienced and what I experience might be two different things.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to check out that other book. It just been sitting there, tucked into the bottom of my rucksack out of spite. I’m sure she meant well.
So with that, I make my way up out of the library and into the living quarters. I’m so glad they just got me a futon rather than bed, because it’s comfy and so much easier to move my stuff around as the whim strikes. That said, my bedding is currently wedged into a small alcove beneath a table, with my rucksack propped up against it.
I don’t even blink as I roll out my bed, and before I know it, I’m on my belly, levitating things out of the bag. Sure, it’s bothersome to pull out so many things just to get one book, but hey. It counts as my magic exercise, too. Besides, I’m still skeeved out by the fact that Eve thought it funny to send me this in the first place. Why would I want anypony else to find this?
With only mild reue, I stare down at the cover of You’re In Heat (And That’s Okay)! At first, I hardly even notice the author line. Gag Gift and Special Order do come off as your typical pony names, and I wish that I’d paid more attention to them before opening the cover.
Instead, my cheeks flush crimson. There, on the very first page—glossy like magazine stock—is a tan mare in lacy black panties and stockings. She’s lying on her back, rear legs spread and forelegs curled against her chest as she gives the camera a very sensual smile. Despite mostly covering her teats, the panties somehow not only draw the eyes, but also manage to make the teats seem larger.
I blink as I tear my gaze from the model to the article beneath, which seems to be an interview with the mare regarding what it’s like to be a lingerie model. Eve, you fucking maniac...
Maybe it’s morbid curiosity, or maybe I really do like what I see, but I find myself drawn into the disguised magazine. It’s kinda strange that ponies would even need some of this stuff, but hey... they have clothes for special occasions, why not lingerie, one-piece swimsuits, and... bunny outfits? Seriously?
Deeper I go, seeing mares in various provocative poses and even more provocative outfits. Not all of the pages have interviews or bios of the models, though. Some are perfectly normal product reviews, or articles on various economic shit. There’s even a lewd short stories.
It’s not until I feel a vaguely familiar warmth beneath my belly that I realize what this is. It’s a Playcolt magazine. My face is positively hot at this point, and I want to tear my gaze away, but I’m helpless to resist. I didn’t know I needed this, but apparently I did.
Soon enough, the scantily clad or fully nude mares give way to stallions. Stallions in speedos or various sorts of work uniforms sans pants, showing off bulging packages, or shots from the right angle where their sheaths and heavy sacks are visible. Still there are articles, but they take a backseat to the imagery.
In spite of my orientation, that warmth in my belly grows into a burning longing sensation. I know this feeling... I remember it from when I—when Soren—was Lyra. As if to accentuate that, I can feel a slight tingle and an accumulation of moisture around my marehood. As if my body isn’t sure I get the picture, it makes me quite aware that I’m winking down there.
“Fuck,” I hiss aloud, shutting the book. There’s a line, and it’s quite clearly been crossed. There’s no going back now... “I’ve gotta clop now.”
At the same time though, I don’t wanna soil my bedding.
Shutting my eyes, I suck in a deep breath and stand up. My legs feel like rubber, and I’m painfully aware of how sensitive my vulva is with every step that I take toward the bathroom. Yeah, better I do it in the bathtub, at least I can wash away my shame then.
Once I’m in there, I flick on the light and stagger over to the large clawfoot bathtub. It’s a bit hard dragging myself up into the tub with how quivery my legs are, but once I’m in and on my back, I smile and look down past my belly at my teats. This is okay... After getting so comfortable in my skin, I deserve this.
I have half a mind to fill the tub with warm water, but on second thought, that might make things more problematic. If lingering Lyra memories are anything to go by, my fluids will just leach out into the water, and scent the steam... which would in turn just get me into a sort of fuck-haze. Also, it’d take ages to get the bathroom to air out. Longer than it’d take for Aunt Twilight to come back in the morning.
Instead, I lie back and snake my forehoof down my belly. Even as my hoof begins to gently tease my nipples, I shut my eyes and let my imagination take over. Soon, it’s not the depraved little dwarf rubbing herself in the bathtub. In my mind’s eye, the tan mare from the girly mag is looming over me.
“Somepony’s been a naughty filly,” she teases, rubbing my tiny tits with a black lace-clad hoof. She presses on down towards my needy nethers, tantalizing the top of my vulva with just the tip of her hoof.
“You’re damn right I have,” I whisper, licking my lips. With even just this basic teasing, my tail and the insides of my thighs are absolutely soaked. It’s insane that such a small pony like me could produce so much lubrication.
My mental projection of the mare grins and caresses my face with her damp hoof. “Be a good filly and clean my hoof before your naughty juices stain the stocking.”
Crunch! The sound of somepony chewing on something fills the air, and suddenly I can smell... popcorn?
With the immersion ruined and daydream shattered, my eyes snap open with alarm and sit up in the tub. There, sitting in a recliner that certainly does not belong in the bathroom, is a very smug looking somepony... or rather, someone. “Oh, please, don’t stop on my account!”
At the sight of that moon-damned draconequus watching me with a bowl of popcorn in his lap, my blood goes gelid. “Discord!?” I hiss, barely able to keep myself from shrieking. “Why in the fuck are you watching me?”
He sits forward and lowers his sunglasses and frowns at me. “Oh please, do you honestly believe what you were doing is of any interest to me?” Discord snorts and shoves a clawfull of popcorn into his mouth. “You’re going to make me sick.”
Yeah, because that’s what a girl wants to hear when she catches somepony watching her. Super validating. I narrow my eyes at him, sinking down until only my eyes are visible over the edge of the tub. “Then what are you doing here!?”
He shrugs and leans back in his recliner. “I was curious why you were radiating so much chaotic energy.” With a snap of his talons, his popcorn turns into ice cream. “Of all the ponies in this town, you’re the only one who creates chaos when they deviate from their norms.”
“I wonder why,” I growl, as fury fills my belly. Fucker comes into the bathroom while I’m masturbating just to find out why I radiate chaos? Surely he knows on some level that I’m not of this world. “Get out.”
A grin spreads across his face. “Oooh, I like the flavor you’re emitting now. Muy picante,” he croons, pulling a sombrero from nowhere. “Make me.”
You’re going to regret this, you ugly son of a bitch. I channel magic into the spell I’ve been practicing the last few weeks—a summoning charm. My target? The hammer. Nearly as big as me, and absolutely not at all a reasonable weapon for me to wield with my physical strength... but I don’t need physical strength when I’ve got magic.
“Tausend Reue,” I whisper, triggering the somatic component of this particular charm. It’s not a mandatory part of the charm, but if you give something a name, it becomes easier to summon it. Especially for beginners who have problems visualizing where it is. “You’ll regret this.”
~ Interlude ~
... but now I’ve got a citation on my record for disturbing the peace. As if it’s my fault that I had to chase that moon-damned draconequus through the streets of Ponyville with a hammer while smelling like sex. Fucking pervert was watching me!
Why did the princesses decide to let that fucker out of stone in the first place? He’s a menace, and he loves to fuck with me. Doesn’t matter how many times I smash him with my hammer or stab him... It’s like he enjoys it... like having someone who isn’t afraid to lash out at him like I do is the greatest thing in the world.
Enough about me though. How are things with you? I’ve heard from a reliable source that you two were thinking about tying the knot soon. You two make a cute couple.
You gotta come down to Ponyville at some point. It really is a pretty down, evil forest and draconequus notwithstanding...
Snow whips through my mane as I peer out of the door of the abandoned stone shrine. The dark snowscape outside is downright eerie. Maybe it’s the reason I’m out here spooking me, but in the moonlight, all of those deciduous trees, barren of leaves, look like claws reaching for the moon. Thousands of boney claws, like the undead are rising from a frozen grave.
Shivering slightly, I push the door closed and look to the deadwood I’d piled into the firepit some previous traveler had put in the building. It probably wouldn’t burn down the old structure, but it’ll definitely burn the whole night. Given what I’m out here to do, that warmth is important.
Pulling my beanie up over my horn and setting my rucksack on the floor in front of a large silver statue, I focus on the rather large charge stored in the band. I’ve been pumping so much magic into this thing lately that it practically hums at times, I think to myself as I cast prestidigitation with the fire-starting focus. Given that I don’t know what is going to happen out on these jobs, I can’t chance not having reserves.
The fire catches quickly, and warmth fills the small shrine. Celestia’s time-worn face smiles down at me with a serenity that looks strangely mischievous as the shadows flicker across the statue’s face. How long has this place been abandoned? I wonder as I return the statue’s gaze. I know ponies worship the ground the princess walks on, but I’ve never once seen signs of direct worship like this.
Honestly, this whole ruined town on the outskirts of the Whitetail Woods gives me the heebie-jeebies. I came across it early this afternoon while scouting around for signs of my target, and I honestly can’t make heads or tails of the place. I mean it’s just sitting here, nestled between the mountain-ridge west of Ponyville, the border of Whitetail Woods, and the river feeding into the South Luna Ocean. To the southwest, you have Las Pegasus, and a rail-line to the north and west once you cross the forest. By all accounts, it’s a great location, so it just seems spooky for such a place to be up and abandoned centuries ago.
The only indication of what this place might have once been for is a signboard that I found poking out of a snowbank outside the shrine. It proclaims the place the Shrine of the Waking Dawn. Knowing my luck, this place was some kind of cultist village that Celestia had exterminated, and it’s now haunted by angry cultists.
Nah, I can’t imagine her actually having ponies murdered. I shake my head and levitate a foil pack and some cookware from my rucksack. I empty the contents of the pack into the small pot and set it hanging from a spit over the flame. Rehabilitate them, sure, but I don’t think she’d have a pony gestapo. I think that’s why she had Luna.
Shaking my head, I watch my spicy rice meal cook. Occasionally, I stir it with a spoon, but for the time being, I’m content to just listen to the fire. It’s peaceful, and relaxing, but I can’t stop my eyes from flicking sidelong to the door from time to time.
Should I prop something against it? That’s the only way in or out of the shrine so far as I’ve been able to tell, but my target is out there in Whitetail Woods somewhere. I definitely don’t want it coming upon me while I sleep. If the target is even real and not just some hallucination from a drunken reveler from Las Pegasus.
I levitate out the contract info I’d written down, along with my bounty hunter’s card. Sighing, I read over the parchment with the quest details.
A blighted wolf has been sighted by multiple passengers traveling on a train from Las Pegasus. The creature was said to be crossing into the Whitetail Woods from the unexplored reaches known as the Undiscovered West. The Royal Guard cannot spare the resources to validate the claims at this time.
Investigate the sighting of the beast. Should the creature be more than just the imaginings of drunken party-goers, it cannot be allowed to cross further into the Equestrian heartland. It must be exterminated.
I look to my bounty card at the spot with my quest information. It lists two objectives. Listed under primary, Investigate blighted wolf sighting. Secondary? Exterminate blighted wolf.
The more I think about it, the more taking this quest was a bad idea. It’s been three months since I came out of the coma, and although I’m definitely doing better physically, I still need to get more practice hunting. Going after a diseased wolf isn’t my smartest plan.
What if it’s not a diseased wolf, though? As much as I try, I can’t shake the feeling that I might’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I’ve read a few bestiaries in my time at Twilight’s, and the word blight stirs my memory... but without going into a trance and talking to Book, I’ll probably not get the sort of recall I need. Unfortunately for me, I don’t get the same sort of sleep I’d get if I actually fall asleep.
The creeping doubt is enough to convince me that I should bar the door to the shrine. More than that, I need to make sure the doors don’t just break around the brace. Picking up a long plank with my hooves, I slot it into the door. The wood—both the plank and the doors—has definitely been treated to last, but it feels really dry. It’ll definitely be fragile if hit, but...
With a groan, I tap into the ring once more. There’s enough to enchant the doors to be indestructible, but not enough to do the plank... Durability, on the other hoof, should leave me with plenty of reserves for tomorrow.
By the time my enchanting is done, my food’s ready and I can chow down. Nothing like hot food with just the right amount of spice to make you feel all warm inside on a cold night after lots of traveling. It feels good to just sit back and eat...
Off in the distance, and yet still too close for comfort, I hear the howl of a wolf. It’s unreal to think that I’m supposed to be a prey animal now. Here I am, prey, but also the hunter. An unsure smile pulls at the corners of my mouth. The fucker won’t know what hit him.
Topping off my canteen with a quick transmutation spell, I begin to roll out my sleeping bag beneath the altar to Celestia. Stripping out of my boots, my cloak, and all but my ring, I decide it’s time for bed. I even pull one of my blankets out of my rucksack and wrap myself in it before wedging myself into the sleeping bag as a tiny pony burrito. The hunt begins in earnest tomorrow.
Before I lay my head down to sleep, I levitate out the framed photo Aunt Twilight gave me on my birthday. I look at her, Spike, and myself having a picnic in a public garden not long before I tried taking a header off the side of Canterlot.
As I gaze at the photo, I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing right now. Is she worrying about me? I frown as the memory of her trying to talk me out of taking the bounty floats to the front of my mind. Is she watching with a scrying spell?
“You aren’t ready,” I remember Twilight saying. “You need more time.”
She’s probably right, but at the same time, she’s wrong. I’ve been ready since I killed that changeling. It felt wrong before, but... if I can make it so good ponies don’t have to fight monsters, I’ll gladly kill as many things as possible. Sometimes, you gotta do things for the greater good, at the risk of your very life...
Sometimes...
~ 13 ~
The storm front will move west over the Whitetail Woods and out into the Undiscovered West, where it will disperse. The weather plan sat there on the desk, plain as day. Twilight’s ear twitched as she looked down at it. The storm will be deployed over Ponyville on the day of January the 14th.
“Rainbow, this storm is happening today!” complained Twilight, as she turned to face her friend. “What are those... those—” Twilight clenched her teeth and hissed. She didn’t usually approve of Penny’s colorful choice in language, but she’d make an exception for this case. “—assholes up in Cloudsdale thinking dropping this storm on us without prior consultation?”
If Rainbow was at all disturbed by Twilight swearing, she hid it well behind her own mask of frustration. “I know, right?” she agreed in a tone of annoyance. “Now we have to completely rework the Ponyville weather schedule again. I hate paperwork.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, and Rainbow gave her a sheepish look. “Sorry, Twi,” she said. Ruffling her wings, the pegasus gave a sidelong glance at the clock. “I know you’re worried about her. It’s just... even if she looks like a foal, she knows how to take care of herself.”
That was true and Twilight knew it. It was just that Penny had grown on her—wormed her way into her family and her heart—like some sort of adorable tumor. Sighing, Twilight walked over to the window. The snow was already fairly deep, and it was frightening to think that Penny was probably already hunting in the Whitetail Woods when fillies her own size should be playing in the snow below like the Cutie Mark Crusaders presently were.
Then, of course, her brother’s legal adoption of Penny still weighed heavily on her mind. Shining Armor recognized that Silver Penny, despite being of age, was inexperienced and still needed the support and guiding hoof that would normally be afforded a foal. Until such time as she made her way to him, or he and Cadance came to retrieve her, Twilight felt it was her obligation to watch over her... her niece.
Goodness, it’s so weird thinking of myself as her aunt now... Twilight mused, placing a hoof against the window. She’s just two years younger than me.
“What’s she even looking for out there?” Rainbow Dash asked, joining her at the window. “I thought she would be hunting down criminals, not chasing down rumors.”
A frown creased Twilight’s face. Levitating over a sheet of parchment, she read aloud, “A blighted wolf sighting.” She gave Rainbow the parchment and then returned her attention to the foals in the snow. Down below, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom were having a snowball fight. “The crown’s resources aren’t infinite. If the royal guard chased down every jackalope sighting or the such, worse things than the changeling invasion of Canterlot would occur. So they often contract things out to bounty hunters.”
Rainbow, so it would seem, had stopped listening. She was staring intently at the parchment in her hoof, biting her lip. “Um, Twilight... Isn’t a blighted wolf some sort of demon?” she asked, worry creeping into her voice. “I could’ve sworn that’s what was what A.K. Yearling called the monster in the Treasure of Tzichultzan?”
Shaking her head, Twilight replied, “No, that’s was blightwolf, but the two are... easily confused.” Oh no... What if somepony had confused a blighted wolf for a blightwolf when they were filing the report? A blighted wolf was a far lower threat level than a blightwolf. No way a rookie hunter like Penny would be permitted to take on that sort of mission if they knew. “Rainbow, I need you to get a skywagon and Fluttershy. I have a really bad feeling about this.”
The rainbow pegasus tensed at Twilight’s words. “What about the others?” she asked. “If we’re fighting a monster, shouldn’t we bring AJ?”
Twilight shook her head summoned a map that had been given to her by the princess. This map was a particularly old map, marking several long-abandoned colonies across Equestria. Penny would have gone along the southern edge of the mountain range, keeping the mountain between her and the originally scheduled weather. This would place her... She eyed a spot on a map. Here, in the ruins of Dawnhold.
“There’s no time. We have to go by sky, because it’s a full day’s hike—longer if the snow has grown deeper.” If she does kill a blightwolf, the carcass alone would be worth more than the contract itself. “If Penny’s injured, we’ll need all the room we can get.”
~ 13 ~
The next morning, I find my fire’s burned down to coals. Thin shafts of light peer through the tiny gaps in the roof thawed by my campfire. Despite my restless sleep, I help myself to a quick meal of cheese and bread and then start packing up camp.
I don’t start putting my bedding back into the rucksack right away, however. Rather, I pull out a bandoleer I’d commissioned just before Hearth’s Warming. Holstered in it are a number of crystal blue throwing-knives with ring-shaped pommels. I love prestidigitation enchanting so much. From the pommel of each knife but one hangs a spell-tag. Each one of the dozen blades is primed for remote detonation. All but the one.
Next to come out from the rucksack is a spool of thin steel wire, at the end of which is a lanyard hook. At first, I’d decided my combat style would be entirely centered around my hammer—around Tausend Reue—but given how easy it is to manipulate my own creations, it is at times better to wield several smaller blades than one magical hammer. How can I say no to spinning a blade on a line?
The final item to come out of my bag is a dark phthalo blue cloak. I’m still pretty small, so there’s no point in getting fitted for chainmail or kevlar or the like. Similarly, I still need to build up more strength before I can carry around all sorts of shit while also wearing padded armor. It’s much easier to move in a simple mages cloak. Enchanted, of course. Minor slashing and energy resistance, but doesn’t really help against crushing damage.
Aunt Twilight wasn’t happy that I’d spent Hearth’s Warming recovering after prepping all of this. In my defense I know that the best way to keep my magical growth steady is to capitalize on the utility of my ring. The fact that I can enchant a cloak and several conjured throwing knives and then function off the ring for a day is proof enough that I’m ready. Okay, yes, I could just as simply take off the ring and use the proper amount of energy to enchant, but then I wouldn’t be taking advantage of this Saiyan-like power scaling.
Putting aside thoughts of my aunt and my adoption, I begin dressing for battle. First goes the bandolier, wrapped around my barrel and under my left foreleg. At my left side, I clip the spool of wire to my bandolier. Ideally, I wouldn’t pause to slip the lanyard hook through the ring of the untagged knife, but it’s easier just to loop it through and clip the line to itself now, than worry about slotting the knife back into the bandolier after I don the cloak.
Pulling on my boots and hat, I make my way to the door. “Now, if I were a predator and my prey was trapped and didn’t know it, I’d wait for it to poke its head out far enough that it couldn’t pull back before striking.”
Smirking, I reach out with my magic-sense. Reaching out through the cracks in the door, I begin to blanket the area in magic. The village isn’t that big, so it’s not too hard to get a feel for the town. Nothing alive or particularly rich in magic is currently in the area, but there’s a curious bit of magic lingering in parts of the town. It paths from one entrance to the forest, circles the shrine, concentrates on the door, and then leaves through the other exit to the forest.
I can’t tell which is coming and which is going though, and both paths have direct line of sight on the woods. It’s probably watching, even now. Especially if it’s sick with something. Wolves run in packs, but this thing was said to be alone, and I only heard a single wolf howling last night; not a pack.
Withdrawing all of the magic I used to check the area, I push the crossbar plank out of place and pull open the door. Almost immediately, I’m assaulted by the scent of decay. Ugh... it’s like rotten wood.
Have I ever mentioned that I’m great at stating the obvious? Well, I am. As I examine the door, there’s a huge claw-mark raked across the surface. The wood in the furrows and splinters, despite the durability enchantment, is rotting. Worse, the decay’s spreading away from the mark.
Similarly, the snow all around the shrine and on both paths to the woods have taken on a blackish hue. What the fuck is this thing? This is almost like some sort of corruption.
A howl from the forest grabs my attention as I step out and shut the door. Without the walls and door muffling it like last night, there’s an almost haunting quality to it, like there are two voices in near perfect synchronicity. Oh fucking hell. Corruption... huge fucking claw marks... that howl. The memory of a bestiary flickers through my mind. This isn’t some plagued animal. It’s a fucking demon!
A chill runs down my spine. I was ready for a lot of things, but I was absolutely not prepared to face a demon. There’s a reason the Royal Guard leaves animal extermination to bounty hunters: it’s more important to have the army prepared to fight real threats. Like demons.
My eyes snap dead ahead as a second howl rings out—far closer this time. There, at the edge of the treeline, I get my first glimpse of a real-live blightwolf. Surely, I’m going to have nightmares about this.
See, the thing is shaped like a wolf, but it’s about the size of a grizzly bear. A coat of ash-grey fur coats its body, with several large spines jutting from its back. Its coat looks greasy with something. Probably the most jarring are the glowing-red eyes locked on me, which I happen to meet with my own.
Well then...
Some demons are sapient, rather than mindless beasts, but might this be one? Sucking in a deep breath, I prepare myself. “Turn back, demon, and return from whence you came!” I bellow, taking care to not break eye-contact. Can’t blink or look away. Gotta establish dominance! “ You enter the lands of Princesses Celestia and Luna. You have but one chance to withdraw, or you shall be slain!”
The demon’s lips curl back revealing long, yellowed fangs. Is it smiling at me? A throaty laughter reaches my ears, and I cannot help but feel I should be running. It’d be a fools errand, however; I’m fast, but I cannot outrun a wolf. So I fight if I must...
“You are brave, earth-pony whelp,” it says in a quite masculine voice. “Foolish, but brave. Are you truly all that was sent?” It blinks slowly as it scents the air, before redying itself to sprint. “Such a small female. I will enjoy defiling you before I rip into your flesh.”
My eyes roam the town quickly as I consider my options. So, it is sapient... and it thinks me an earth pony. There are a bunch of collapsed buildings between it and me, various wooden beams jutting out of the snow. There are also some cobblestone fences that have seen better days. Finally, the roof of the shrine is high enough that it shouldn’t be able to reach me. Not too happy that it wants to fuck me before it eats me, though.
“I dunno, dude!” I call back, gripping the knife on the wire with my hoof. At the same time, I focus my telekinesis on every one of the tagged knives “I’ve bitten ponies before, and to be honest, they taste kinda awful, and that’s coming from a mare who loves a nice rare steak!”
With that, the blightwolf runs forward and I whip the knife from its sheath, sending it airborne. My magically guided blade flies straight up and wraps around a post jutting out near the top of the shrine. Once the line is taut, I jump—loosing every one of the knives into the snow around me—and begin reeling the line with some magic from the band. The ascension is quick, but the beast is already nipping at my hooves.
“What’s the matter, scruffy?” I crow from atop the building as I resheath the blade. I know it’s a stupid idea to taunt the beast like this, but it’s either be obnoxious, or be afraid. A careful mix of both is what’ll keep me alive. “Can’t smell the magic in the air? You should try bathing in some holy water!”
The blightwolf snarls up at me. Instead, it licks its bared fangs and stares up at me. “Is that your plan, little pony? To hide above until I go away?” That throaty laugh fills my ears again. “I will bring down that which you stand upon!”
I nearly lose my footing as the entire shrine shakes. Somewhere below me, I hear wood splintering as the demon wolf slams itself into the wall. This building might be sturdy, but it won’t take too many hits like that.
Focusing on one of the knives, I give it a quick telekinetic shove with enough force that it could puncture stone, launching it into the wolf’s flank. It howls with pain, whipping around to look in the direction the knife came from. “Whoever is hiding out there, come meet your demise before my fangs find you instead!”
Presented with the opportunity, I repeat the attack from a different angle with a different knife. Each time I do so, he gives me another opportunity. After nine such attacks, its face is finally lined up with the last remaining blade on the ground. It’s too good an opportunity to pass up, so I launch the last knife into its right eye.
The screaming of the beast is nearly deafening. He rolls and thrashes, attempting to dislodge the knives, especially the one in its eye. He only manages to drive them deeper. Again, he slams into the building.
This time, I’m not so lucky. As he slams clean through the cobble wall of the shrine, I topple forward. There’s no time to whip out my blade and grapple onto the building again. One moment,I’m on the roof, and the next, I’m face-first in a snowbank. My head strikes something hard, and for a moment, I feel dizzy.
“I don’t know what kind of game you are playing, little pony,” the wolf says, looming over me as I climb out. Near-black blood falls onto my cloak from one of the wolf’s wounds. “It ends now, though.”
A large paw slams down on my back. Rough claws punch through my cloak to either side of my neck. Beneath my cloak, I feel hot agony race through my sides as I glance over my shoulder. I wish I never looked. I didn’t think it meant that when it said it would defile me...
The blood-red shaft that it wants to violate me with will never fit! It’d split me in half just trying... and if I were somehow stretchy enough to not rupture when he hilts, the canine knot would most certainly destroy me.
“Scream for me.” I feel the tip—hot, slick, and rigid from the baculum—pressed up against my unused entrance. Tears stream down my cheeks as my nether lips are forcibly spread. He doesn’t just thrust in like a dog, however. He’s trying to savor it—the agony he’s trying to cause me.
Am I really going to just roll over and take this, knowing that I’m going to die either way? It’s too big. Even before his member can strain against my maidenhead, I’m in pain. My ribs hurt hard enough that I can’t even move. It hurts so bad...
I clench my eyes shut...
~ 13 ~
... and when I open them again, I’m not pinned to the ground by a giant wolf monster that wants to rape me to death. Instead, I’m lying on my side in a round dark room. Everything hurts. My teeth, my face, my ribs, by ass and vagina.. even my wings. What? Wings?
There’s a bloodied grey leg stretched out in front of me, but it seems twisted at an unnatural angle. Somewhere, out of my field of vision, there’s a mare crying. Occasionally I hear her mutter in a strangely accented voice. “Please, stop! Don’t hurt her anymore!” The sound of the voice is so... familiar. It makes my heart ache. “You don’t have to do this!”
A red hoof steps into my view, and I find myself looking up at a familiar red unicorn stallion. He looks so familiar, with his unkempt long golden mane and hate filled teal eyes, glaring down at me with disdain. There’s a name at the tip of my tongue...
“Agwa, why?” I ask through blood and broken teeth, except it isn’t me doing the talking. My voice isn’t that mature. “Why do thith?”
I’m rolled roughly onto my back as the stallion sits on my chest. There’s no stopping the scream from escaping my mouth as his weight puts pressure on my broken ribs and wings... until he wraps his hooves around my throat.
“Why? Why!?” he screams, frothing spittle flying into my face. “All you had to do was bow your head, work with me... be the moral compass I never had... We could have fixed the cancer plaguing House Blueblood. I could’ve been free to live my own life!”
My head is pounding... my eyes feel like they’re going to pop. I try to gasp for breath, but I can’t suck down anything. Black dots cloud my vision and I can hear a ringing in my ears.
“Instead, you pushed me and kept pushing me! Antagonizing... failure to submit!” he continues, increasing the pressure on my throat. Why is he crying though? “Then you pushed me too far! You ruined my life! You ruined everything! You ruined me!”
It hurts so bad, but I can’t do anything... I don’t wanna feel pain anymore. My eyelids feel heavy, drifting shut. And then...
Crunch!
... I don’t.
~ 13 ~
I blink, and I’m back again.
No.I won’t let it happen to you the way it happened to me! The voice in my head... It’s the one from the vision. The voice that is and isn’t my own. Penny! I can numb the pain, but you have to fight!
I know I have to fight, but how? It’s going to kill me!
Your blades... the tags! Use them and then make him pay!
Of course! Fury wells in my chest—at myself for even considering letting myself be sullied, and at the demon for daring to touch me. It’s not just my fury, though; there’s a strength welling within me that has that same paradoxical mine/not mine feeling as the voice. It’s like this presence is filling me with the determination I need to live. I’ll make him pay.
“How about you scream for me, bitch!” I grunt, flooding the air around the demon with magic. At first, nothing happens, but then there’s the distinctive staccato cracks of gunfire as the fire tags go off. There’s a loud howl as the reek of burnt hair and flesh fills my nose, and he pulls away.
That’s all the time I need. Sheathing the wired throwing knife in magic, I tear it from the its spot on the bandoleer and send it spiraling behind me. Immediately, the wire goes taut around the base of the wolf’s still-erect phallus. I pull it as tight as it’ll go without shearing right through to the bone and then push myself upright.
“You know, I’ve got a lot of regrets. I regret that Soren answered Lyra’s email. I regret the shitstorm of events that followed. I regret nearly killing those who are now precious to me,” I say, running through the spell to conjure an item from a pocket dimension. One of the most useful spells Aunt Twilight’s taught me yet. “But you know what? Getting fucked to death by a dog ain’t gonna be one of them!”
My horn flares beneath my cap and my cloak flaps in the force of my casting. The magical corona envelops not only my horn on the outside of the cap, but the entirety of my front half. I glance to my side, and am treated to the sight of phantom wings illuminated in the blue light. I’m with you. Always.
Locking eyes with the burning wolf while it struggles not to tear off its own dick. “Tausend Reue!” I cry, calling my hammer from the aether. “Time to add your regrets to the list, demon!”
With blinding speed and burning rage, I slam the hammer into the knife in the wolf’s eye. It shrieks in agony as the blade is driven further in... or is it because I hit it with silver? Silver is what you use to kill monsters and demons, after all. Hmm.
I strike again, this time using one of the kinetic amplifier faces. There’s enough built up charge that it forces the blightwolf back. Far enough that there’s an ever so satisfying ripping sound. The line goes slack, and my blade hits the ground beside a blood-red sleeve of flesh.
The shrill yelping of the demon catches me off guard for only a moment. Then it’s right back to fighting. Twirling the blade with one ethereal hand of magic, I slash frantically at its underside, while with the other, I smash its ribs. It tumbles away, revealing its spines.
A dark smile crosses my face.
“What are you?” the wolf howls, trying to get away. “What kind of monster are you that takes a pony whelp’s form?”
Cackling, I telekinetically seize a wooden beam from the snow and smash the wolf from both sides at once. The wood splinters, so I drop what remains of the beam and seize the wolf by all of its spines. “Monster. That’s rich.” I bring the hammer down on its back while yanking on the spines with my magic. They tear free with a sickening ripping sound. “All things must end. You included.”
By now, the hammer’s built up enough charge from magical pressure and blows that when I turn and strike it under its jaw, it flies backwards, crashing through the wall of the shrine. I launch the spines right after it like javelins, impaling it through the chest while it flies.
Yet the wolf never hits the ground. A silver spear erupts from its chest. Princess Celestia, as it would seem, has made her claim to ending the wolf. No, not Celestia, I realize. The statue. The shrine.
I can’t help but giggle as my personal reservoir runs dry, and I look at the carnage I’ve created. The ruins of a village, wreathed in blue flame... A blightwolf impaled with its own spines, mounted on the horn of a princess. Blood pours from its shredded underbelly. Fire still clings to the beast’s fur.
“Sometimes,” I murmur to the beast as the wind begins to whip out of the east, blowing the snow harder than ever before. “You have to become the monster that monsters fear.”
Grabbing the strap of my hammer in my mouth, I drag it back into what’s left of the sanctuary. It hurts to move. My ribs are clearly broken, but I gotta get back inside. There’s an instinct that tells me a storm front is rolling in, despite the schedule I’d read before leaving.
Thankfully, my stuff isn’t soaked in blood like I am. Somehow, when it broke through the first time, the debris knocked my bag into a corner... It just so happens that this corner is a nice, sheltered corner. This’d be a good place to nap and recuperate.
Smiling, I draw on the ring’s power and levitate my guild card out of the bag. I flip it over and look at the objective display.
Primary: Investigate blighted wolf sighting. *Complete*
Secondary: Exterminate blighted wolf. *Canceled*
Emergency: Run. *Failed*
Emergency: Exterminate blightwolf. *Complete*
Optional: Bring blightwolf remains to guild outpost or kiosk. *In Progress*
Good job, kid. Looks like you might get a double payoff for this, that voice in my head says as I close my eyes. I’m proud of you.
~ 13 ~
Twilight scanned the ground over the edge of the wagon. The storm was tearing through even sooner than it was supposed to, and it was making it hard to see anything at ground level. Just what were those feather brains in Cloudsdale thinking?
“Are we almost there, Twilight?” Rainbow called from the dual pulling position at the front the sky wagon. “Things are gonna to get really bad soon.”
With a glance to the North, Twilight nodded to herself. The mountain range was meeting forest just up ahead. “The ruins of Dawnhold should be straight ahead!” she called back. “Take us lower and keep us north of the river. You should see it soon.”
It sounded like Fluttershy was trying to say something, but it was lost to the winds. Twilight expected she was trying to reassure her that they’d get there in time—that Penny would be fine.
Looking down, she wished she could share the optimism of her friends. They didn’t know the sort of dangers that came with fighting demons. They couldn’t know.
She’d asked Princess Celestia once what the worst thing about fighting demons was. Twilight was shocked to hear that it wasn’t the risk of corruption—modern magic did a good job purging early onset demonic contamination—or the lengths that demons would go to win. “Demons almost without fail will bring out the worst in those fighting them. Even in victory, they are at their weakest, and risk contamination of the soul itself.”
“I see the place, Twilight!” Rainbow yelled a few moments later. “Is it supposed to be on fire?”
For a moment, she thought Rainbow was making a joke, but when she looked down, Twilight saw that the ruins were burning. Blue flames clung to many smaller piles of debris strewn around a partially collapsed stone structure. The roof of said structure was also burning, although not nearly as bad.
Sighing at the wanton destruction of what was clearly once a historical site, Twilight Sparkle had her pegasus friends land as close as possible to the structure without getting caught in the thermals caused by the magical flames. Definitely Penny’s handiwork. As they came in for their landing, she saw just how bad the destruction was.
The entire front wall of what looked to be some sort abbey or shrine was caved in. Some blue flames lingered inside, but it seemed mostly intact. The same could not be said for the surrounding ruins. It looked as though several small explosions had gone off at once, scorching a small area of earth that still seemed too hot for snow to land on, but for a small raised spot in the center... like some sort of torus of fire had once rested there. Further out, anything that had once been made of wood was covered in blue flame.
“Whoa,” Rainbow said, giving a shrill whistle. “Did Penny do all this?”
Fluttershy looked at the destruction and swallowed. “I hope she’s alright.”
Twilight just smiled and shook her head. “It would’ve had to have been her.” Magical flames like this could burn indefinitely if left unattended, so Twilight cast a counterspell to snuff them out. It took a moment to be sure she got everything in the area, aside from whatever was burning inside the shrine, but no flames lingered. “Blightwolves bring plague and decay; they aren’t elementally active demons.”
Without waiting up for the rest of the group, Rainbow rushed ahead to the cobblestone building. She stood there, transfixed by something inside for a moment before slowly backing up. Her wings twitched slightly as she walked backwards.
“Fluttershy, you don’t wanna go in there,” she said with a pale face. Looking to Twilight, added, “Is that why you brought a tarp?”
Maybe it was the tone of Rainbow’s voice, but seeing her friend looking almost green filled Twilight’s belly with urgency. She sprinted forward, stepping over the ruined cobblestone and nearly tripping over one of Penny’s conjured blades.
Her eyes widened at the sight of the giant silver statue of Princess Celestia. It was unnerving seeing her mentor’s face look so happy and peaceful when it was covered in a blackish-red blood. Never mind the mutilated monster impaled through the chest on its horn.
Looking around, Twilight spotted Penny propped up in one corner of the room with her rucksack. She looked somewhat pale in what had once been a cloak the same blue as Shining Armor’s mane. One of her hooves was resting on the pommel of her hammer, while the other seemed to be wrapped around her barrel.
Amazingly, she actually seemed conscious, albeit not entirely lucid.
“Hey, Aunt Twilight,” Penny said in a pained voice. “I don’t suppose you brought a pickup that we can throw that buck there into the back of. I bet the antlers are worth a pretty penny.”
The foal-sized mare laughed slightly and then her other hoof joined the first in clutching her barrel as that laughter became a cry of pain. Shaking her head, Twilight carefully levitated Penny and her belongings. Aside from the clear damage to her ribs, Penny seemed fine at first glance. The only blood on her seemed to be on her cloak or around her mouth.
Upon closer inspection, however, Twilight caught sight of a tiny trickle of blood on the inside of the foal-sized mare’s haunch. “Penny, did it—”
“No,” Penny interjected far too harshly before Twilight could ask. “Not for lack of trying. Even if I didn’t kill him dead, he wouldn’t have been able to try it on any other potential meals.” She looked Twilight dead in the eye and gave her a dark smile. There was a hurt, haunted look in those bright blue eyes. “I ripped his fucking cock off.”
Twilight swallowed a lump in her throat as the implication hit her. The blood on Penny’s thigh, ‘Not for lack of trying,’ and the genital removal... The demon tried to defile Penny, and she seemed off.
If not for the fact that Penny’s cloak was covered in demon blood and that there were unaddressed rib injuries—to say nothing of the potential infections—Twilight would have hugged her then and there. Instead, she magicked away the blood on Penny’s thigh and brought her out to Fluttershy. Penny wouldn’t want a fuss made over it, least of all by Fluttershy.
While Rainbow helped Fluttershy strip the indignant Penny and bind her injuries, Twilight grabbed the tarp from the cart and returned to the shrine. Even if Penny didn’t know the value of the remains, the spoils were rightfully hers.
As Twi laid out the tarp, she looked up at the statue and frowned. How long had this place lay abandoned? How long would it go without having any more visitors?
Levitating down the great monster, there was a certain degree of wonder at the degree of wounds Penny’d inflicted on the beast. Even without impaling it on the silver statue, the demon probably would’ve died from its wounds eventually. One side of its chest was dented inward in a way that was in no way natural. Such was the fate of creatures weak to silver and magic weapons, though.
The carcass of the demon stood as a stark reminder of Silver Penny’s character. Penny wasn’t a malicious pony, but when the conditions were right, Penny could be a force to be reckoned with. Strangely, in that moment, seeing the destruction her niece had wrought, Twilight was glad Penny was on her side.
“Penny, are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Twilight asks as Ponyville comes into sight. “Nopony will think less of you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
I shift awkwardly against the edge of the wagon and the dead demon under the tarp as I try to curl my tail underneath me. My torso aches from the movement, but I don’t make a peep. I can’t show weakness. Not now. If I do, she might take away my guild card and send me to live with Dad and Mom before I’m ready.
“Nothing happened,” I say in as low a voice, unable to keep a bit of pain out of my tone. I don’t exactly want the others to hear over the wind. “I mean, it tried, but I didn’t let it... If it had raped me, Aunt Twilight, I wouldn’t be here. Its penis was as big as I am.”
She gives me this look. You know that womanly look tells you that she clearly wishes you’d have ended a few sentences back? That’s the kind of look she’s giving me right now. I’ve gotta learn how to make that face. I’m not very good at reassuring other ponies...
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rainbow’s ear flick. Shit. Had she heard me?
“At any rate, we’ve got to get you to the hospital to get your ribs properly set, and then you need to purged of any diseases you might be carrying from contact with the blightwolf, Need to make sure you aren’t going to start an epidemic.” She glances at her friends. “All of us will.”
“...need to start carrying blood-tailored cleansing potions...” I murmur in a voice that doesn’t suit my form. I feel like I know it from somewhere, but... Wait. What even is that? Pain pulses in my temple and around the base of my horn.
As careful as I can to not disturb my ribs, I bring up a hoof to rub my face. Again, I can’t quite stop myself from wincing at the movement. The bandages are doing a good job limiting movement, but it still feels like something’s numbing the pain... and that I’ve forgotten something important.
Twilight looks at me in surprise. “I’m surprised you know enough alchemy to know about those potions, Penny,” she says. Wait, I know what now? “I know that we’ve touched on it slightly, but it was never really part of our curriculum. After all, you need a special license to teach much more than the basics.”
“Wha...?” I just sorta look at her, not quite grasping why I’m there with her. What is she talking about? Why did she bring up... Why am I here? As I cock my head in confusion, the world begins to spin. It feels like I’m falling, but my entire body is... vibrating? Is that a good word for it? I feel like a struck tuning fork.
“Penny?” comes Twilight’s voice, as if from a distance. All the snow falling around us... it’s so bright and white... like light. Too bright... “...to me, Penny!”
I blink... and then I’m on my back, looking up at a ceiling and lights passing overhead. On my back, pressed into a soft surface... something strapped to my face. I squint and my head throbs. “What ‘appened?”
A pony’s face crosses into my field of view as the ride stops. White mare, pink mane, nurse’s cap. Hey... it’s the pretty nurse mare!
I try to sit up, but somepony pushes me back down. “Easy there, Penny. You have four broken ribs, a concussion, and some minor demonic contamination,” says Nurse Redheart in a matter-of-fact tone. “You were also exposed to several nasty pathogens that—thank Celestia—hadn’t taken root before we were able to decontaminate you.”
Despite wanting to get up and do... something, I manage to accede to her instructions. “Demonic contamination?” I ask, flicking my eyes in her direction and resisting the urge to push off the oxygen mask. “If I was decontaminated, wouldn’t that mean that you got it out of me already?”
She shakes her head. “At Ponyville Hospital, we’re not equipped to remove demonic energy from a pony,” is her answer. “We don’t get too many demons in the heart of Equestria. Further along the edges and the southern reaches, sure, there’s usually more need for a unicorn on staff trained in it.”
I reach out to pull on the magic reserves still remaining in my ring, just to begin my own probing, but stop cold; somepony removed my ring. Gah, they don’t want me doing it myself. I grit my teeth and huff.
Nurse Redheart’s eyes narrow as she catches the sudden change in demeanor. “Your ring will be returned to you later,” she says, clicking her tongue at me even though a smile perks the corners of her mouth. “Twilight seemed convinced you’d try to do it yourself. She was right, wasn’t she?”
There’s no stopping warmth from filling my face. I guess she really does have me sussed out. There’s not much else that I can do. Instead, I let her get back to pushing the gurney where it needs to go. I know I shouldn’t dignify it with a response but... “Maybe...”
The mare actually stumbles as she pushes the bed. “Are you trying to sound like a foal?” she asks with a chuckle. “You’re too clever to not realize how you sound.”
I carefully raise a hoof to stare at it, trying to visualize a fist clenching. The phantom image of a leg bent at an unnatural angle flicks through my mind; I don’t quite flinch, but I can’t quite stifle the pained sigh that escapes my lips. “Truth be told, I think it’s a coping mechanism.” I let the limb fall to my side and angle my head to look at her. “It’s easier to pretend I’m the fool, and put others at ease, than it is to let others know how scared or not-okay I really am. Even myself.” I gotta be strong, so that others don’t have to.
She gives me an expectant look, as if expecting me to say more, but I’m done talking. Maybe it’s because I’m lying down and blood is reaching my head more easily, or maybe it’s because I’m no longer riding the fear and adrenaline of today’s events, but for the first time, I notice the knot of flesh near my temple.
There’s no hiding the wince when I finally notice the bump. “Gah, if I have a concussion, this is going to be a long night,” I grumble. “Where’s... where’s Aunt Twilight?”
For a few moments, she doesn’t speak. Instead, she navigates the bed through the halls of the hospital. We come upon a door that, although is upside down from my perspective, reads Isolation Ward. “After explaining your condition and ensuring your wounds were cleaned and ribs re-bound, Twilight left to send a request to Canterlot for a specialist from the guard.” She looks slightly disgusted when she adds, “She also went in your stead to collect payment for your services rendered and... trophy.”
I nod haltingly as she pushes me through the door. It opens into a narrow corridor that, as I look closely, see is completely plastered with spellpaper wards. On the other end of the corridor is a split glass sliding door that has spell glyphs carved into it. As we approach, a glyph above the door glows, and the two plates of etched glass part, allowing us entry.
Even passively—that is to say, without drawing on my reserves—I can feel the magical suppression field as soon as we enter the room. It’s strange... eerie, even. When the doors shut behind us and she begins hooking me up to some monitors, I still feel external magic flowing into the room, but there’s this overbearing pressure bearing down on me. Even if I wasn’t absolutely drained, I doubt I’d be able to so much as exert my own magic and actively sense with it.
Although the walls are padded, and a light is inlaid in the ceiling, I imagine the walls beneath the padding are also plastered with the same sort of wards as the hallway. Either that, or the wards are etched into the walls like they are on the glass. They’d pretty much have to have every surface in the room marked to give this kind of coverage.
An interesting way of isolating patients, I think to myself as Redheart says something that I don’t quite catch. Magical maladies are common, and with unicorns, it’s especially important. If they’re sick and suffering magic incontinence, you want them isolated from everypony else, and kept from using their magic. A ring could be dislodged, but this is absolute.
I glance at Redheart before looking down at myself. “So this room... this pressure... should keep whatever magical contaminants in my body from spreading?” She nods. “Guess I’ll have to wait until the guard sends their exorcist. In the meantime, I’ll let you get back to your rounds.”
She smiles and turns to leave. The door slides open and she makes her way through the threshold. “Can you do me just one favour?” She glances over her shoulder at me with a curious expression. I blush and smile. “If you guys have the second and third Harry Trotter books in the hospital book cart, could you send them my way? I know I’m probably going to be here a while, and given these lapses in consciousness, going to sleep might not be the best idea.”
“I’ll see what I can do, Penny.”
~ 14 ~
The one problem with this isolation ward is that there’s no windows and no clock here. I can’t tell exactly how long I’ve been here, but I can tell it’s been at least several hours. This isn’t my first rodeo being bed-bound, so I know how slowly or fast it can go.
The only real gauge I have for time is books. The Harry Trotter series, although largely similar to the Harry Potter books back on Earth, are much denser, each book about the length of a Tolkien story. Back then, it would take me about six hours straight to read through one of them. Given that I’ve been reading long enough to complete the second book and move probably one third of the way through number three, I’m pretty sure I’ve been here about eight hours. If it was around midday when I got here, it’s probably ten at night.
“Why haven’t they fed you?” a voice to my right asks. “You need all the nutrition you can get to mend those bones.”
I look in the direction of the voice and nearly scream. Sitting there in a chair is gray pegasus mare that certainly wasn’t there before. She’s just sitting there, watching me with wary blue eyes.
Dunno why, but she looks familiar, I think to myself. How did she get in here, though?
“I know, right?” I reply, groaning as I push myself upright. This is such a bad idea. Already, my sides are beginning to hurt. “Wonder if something’s not going on out there.”
There’s no doubt in my mind that I should be more concerned about where this mare came from, but as the knot on the side of my head pulses, I realize that it’s probably the concussion. Maybe that’s why I’m not scared... Why she looks so familiar. She’s a manifestation of something from my braindamaged mind, I think.
The mare glances at the door and shrugs. “I’d wager twenty bits that the Cutie Mark Crusaders caused some sort of giant snowball-related catastrophe and they’re treating the casualties for injuries and frostbite.” She stifles a laugh. “Those girls can get into so much trouble. Like that trebuchet.”
Definitely a figment of my mind. Very few ponies ever actually found out about that. Their families, Twilight, Rainbow, Pinkie, and myself, really.
I shake my head. “Not a bet I’d take,” I offer with a smile. “You’re probably right.” Raising a hoof, in her direction, I add, “I’m Silver Penny. You?”
She looks hesitantly at my hoof before reaching out her own. “I’m Silver Script,” she replies.
Somehow, I actually expect our hooves to connect, but as her hoof reaches mine, it passes straight through. It leaves me with a cold, tingly sensation in the extremity.
Her cheeks flush red as she notes my discomfort. “Sorry.” Withdrawing, she glances down at the chair. I follow her gaze and note that she’s not actually sitting on it so much as in it. “Can’t really interact with things, usually.”
Of course she wouldn’t. She’s a figment of my concussed mind.
As I stare at her, I begin to realize why it looks so familiar. When I was in the midst of my mental breakdown, way back when Lyra and Twilight first brought me here, Princess Luna shaped a dream for me. In that dream, I took on the form of a pegasus that looked so much like her living on earth. Sure, I’d turned out to be a unicorn instead, but there’s no mistaking that face. That name.
I’ll never forget that... that nightmare my disturbed mind caused. Why would I suddenly start hallucinating about her now, though? It doesn’t make much sense. What is she supposed to represent?
I look down at my lap and frown. “What are you supposed—”
The plate glass sealing the room parts, allowing Redheart to push a food cart through. She shoots me an apologetic look as she makes her way to the bedside. “Sorry it took so long for me to bring you your meal,” she says, removing the cover from the tray. With one free hoof she sits a plate with a sandwich on it on my lap. “You wouldn’t believe the chaos those three troublemakers caused this time. We’ve been busy treating the injuries and frostbite for hours.”
I cast a sidelong glance at the spot where there was once a mare. Sure enough, Miss Script is gone, but what I didn’t expect was for the chair to be gone as well. Fuckin’ hell, but ain’t that just too detailed for a hallucination?
With a shake of my head, I smile. “Giant snowball?” I ask, as I pick up the sandwich with my hooves. Oh fuck yes! Tuna!
The stunned look on her face stops me before I take a bite, though. “Yes, actually,” she responds, pouring milk from a pitcher into a glass. She glances at the door. “Did somepony stop by to let you know?”
I frown, and debate my next words. Do I tell her it was a lucky guess, or do I tell her my hallucination told me? It might be a good idea, even if she just thinks I’m losing my mind instead. I somehow don’t doubt I may already be suspected to be suffering some form of post-traumatic stress disorder. Nopony... nobody goes through what I did unscathed.
“I was having a chat with the most interesting hallucination before you got in,” I admit, taking a bite of the sandwich. “She wagered twenty bits that those three had gotten up to something. Snowball was her guess.”
I shrug and take another bite. It’s not Twilight’s tuna sandwich, but it’s alright. “Probably just means somepony was talking about it while passing the doorway and their voices carried far enough that I stored it subconsciously.”
“You need to rest.” Redheart shakes her head at me as she holds the glass of milk to my lips. I’m not exactly fond of milk—I’d much rather tea, coffee, or juice—but I recognize the need for it. Silver Script was right, after all; I need it if my bones are going to mend. “Hopefully, this will help.”
With that in mind, I drink greedily. It tastes off, but I put the complaint aside. She’d certainly not feed me spoiled milk, so at the very least, I should just ignore my disgust and do what’s best for me. In only a few gulps, it’s all gone.
With the milk out of the way with, she pats my mane as she lets me finish off the sandwich. “Penny, I apologize for the deceit, but you’re really going to want to be asleep for this next part.” A wave of dizziness washes over me and my eyelids grow heavy. “Now that we’ve cleaned up the mess the crusaders have made, we can finally prep you for surgery. Normally we wouldn’t feed you before surgery, but...”
From beneath the tray she fed me from, she withdraws an x-ray film. Holding it to the light, she points out several white shards present inside my rib cage precariously close to my lungs and heart. “These shards can’t just be guided back to the bone with magic, so we need to remove them completely and mend the bone with a potion. It will be very painful and impossible to do on a conscious patient.”
I dazedly look from the film to the nurse. “That’s as good a reason as any to put me to sleep with a concussion,” I murmur. My muscles begin to lose rigidity. My eyes are fixed on the shards of bone. Even as a fog begins to creep over my mind, I’m calculating. Can’t be more than a finger worth of bone there, but...
“That’s it, just relax and enjoy the rest,” she says as I lean into the patting with a dumb smile. “You’ll feel better in the morning... and don’t worry. This sedative was made with concussed ponies in mind.”
“Mmm,” I coo. Despite how much it should hurt me, I roll onto my side and nuzzle into the pillow. It’s so soft and fluffy. “Can I keep the pieces, Mum? I want to make...”
~ 14 ~
Upon arriving to check up on Penny the next morning, Twilight was left with more questions than she left the library with. At first, she had the standard array of questions a guardian would after their ward had been hospitalized. How did the surgery go? Were there any complications? How is she? How soon will she be released? Most of those questions were answered the moment the morning’s shift nurse led Twilight to Isolation. They were answered and replaced with so many more questions.
At first, she had to rub her eyes to be sure she was actually seeing what was on the other side of the etched glass door. Try as she might, though, Twilight just couldn’t believe it.
Where Penny’s hospital bed should have been, there was a large, round table with a green felt-lined top. Seated at it was a wide variety of beings, all of them in varying degrees of dress. The first one she noticed was Penny, in a black pinstripe suit, and matching bowler hat. Her chin rested on one hoof as she smoked a bubble pipe, not looking entirely there.
Across from her, curiously, was Discord. The draconequus, although clearly quite displeased about something, looked to be having a blast sitting there in frilly lingerie. He had a sucker held between the two talons on his eagle-claw hand, and the end of the stick seemed to be smoking slightly.
Besides the pair, she could also see Applejack’s dog, Winona, dressed in a vest and what Twilight was certain to be the farmpony’s stetson. Beside the dog was Gummy the alligator, dressed as a cat. Opposite of Gummy was Rarity’s cat, Opalescence, in a strange one-piece outfit and wearing bunny ears. Beside her was Tank the Tortoise, dressed in a wonderbolts flight suit and goggles. At the head of the table was Angel Bunny, wearing only a sun visor. Scattered on the floor behind the various seated beings were various garments.
Twilight watched in morbid fascination as Angel Bunny dealt out playing cards. Two to each of the others, three face up and two face down to the middle of the table. Penny examined her cards and blinked unevenly at the pair before looking to the three at the table. Winona and Opalescence both shook their heads as they examined their own cards, throwing them face down. Tank and Gummy just blinked, looking to Discord with an expectant look.
With a nod from the Lord of Chaos, Angel Bunny flipped over the last two cards.
A grin spread across Penny’s face as she revealed her pair to the table. Though Twilight couldn’t see the cards, nor did she know what variation they were playing, she imagined it was a very good hand. Tank and Gummy followed suit shortly after the small unicorn, but Discord just sighed and began removing the frilly garment strapped around his torso.
“I think you’re cheating,” the draconequus groused, crossing his arms in front of his chest, as though there was something to hide. “How else could you have not lost a single hand?”
Penny just smiled and turned her glazed eyes to him. “Nah, man... It’s not cheating,” she replied, swiveling the pipe from one corner of her mouth to the other with a giggle. Spreading her arms to indicate the rest of the table, she grinned a goofy grin. “I’m just a high roller!”
Despite losing the hand, there was no hiding the smirk on Discord’s face. “Did you just pun at me?” He laughed—so hard, in fact, that he literally fell to pieces. “Hi-larious! Why are you such a stick-in-the-mud all the time if you can be like this?”
That brought a frown to Penny’s face. It was an interesting question, and one Twilight had not thought to ask her niece. A lot of the time, the only time Penny looked to be enjoying herself was if she was enchanting, reading, or practicing with her weapons. Besides receiving a copy of her adoption paperwork on her birthday, Twilight couldn’t remember a time in recent memory where Penny looked this relaxed.
“Dude, the only reason I’m like this at all is because I’m high on ana... anes... anesthetics,” Penny replied, taking a large puff from her bubble pipe as Discord reconstructed himself. She coughed slightly, and Twilight watched in concern as the filly-sized mare coughed up some bubbles. “It took me getting nearly raped to death by a demon dog from hell and breaking several ribs for me to get like this.” She cocked her eyebrow, and for a moment, Twilight thought Penny was looking at her rather than Discord. That might just have been the fact that Penny’s eyes weren’t in sync, though. “Do you want me going through that all the time just to have what you think of as a good time?”
Discord snapped his talons, and the table, the cards, and the pets vanished, leaving Penny in her hospital bed, still wearing the suit and bowler. He plucked the pipe from her mouth and took a drag from it as well. “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he accused. “This is the most civil you’ve been with me since we’ve met. The last time I saw you, you chased me with that hammer of yours until you smashed me clear across the Everfree!”
Twilight cringed inwardly as she recalled the first few encounters Penny’d had. The first was the day he’d abducted her from the hospital. The second was the day Twilight had taken her parents to the train station to send them back to canterlot after many weeks spent in Ponyville. Twilight didn’t actually witness the full encounter; she only saw Penny chasing him through the town, swinging at him with her hammer. Then there were several attempts at stabbing him the time after that... the time she tried to blow him up twice... Come to think of it, Penny really doesn’t like him...
“You were fucking watching me masturbate, you moon-damned prick!” Penny shrieked, covering her face with her hooves. “I was fucking mortified! Of course I was gonna harbor resentment! You never leave me alone.”
Twilight backed away from the rune-etched door, sharing a horrified look with the silent nurse. I’m not sure I’m old enough to be hearing this, she thought. I didn’t need to hear that.
“I was not watching!” Discord protested loudly. “I was a passerby who stumbled upon some chaos. You just happened to notice me and assumed that—”
“You were eating popcorn in the recliner! The bathroom doesn’t even have a recliner!” came Penny’s screamed retort. “You expect me to believe you were just popping in and out of existence on a—”
The nurse pulled the outer door to Isolation shut, silencing the arguing pair. Giving Twilight a wry smile, the nurse turned and said, “As you can see, your niece is recovering nicely, and even has the opportunity to work out some interpersonal issues in a controlled environment.” Putting a hoof to her chin, she cast a sidelong glance at the door. “Do you think we should give them some condoms, just to be on the safe side?”
Twilight turned her horrified gaze to the mare. “Absolutely not! She was almost... she wouldn’t...” Managing to clamp down and prevent herself from blabbing something Penny wouldn’t want out there. Admittedly, the nurse had already heard Penny blab it, but that was something her niece would want to deal with on her own terms.
Again, her eyes flicked to the door. “No, I can’t let them get into it, especially when she can’t even defend herself from him,” Twilight said to the mare, pushing the isolation ward’s outer door back open. “Let me in.”
With a sigh, the nurse approaches the glass close enough that the rune activates and the door parts. “Probably for the best. If she tries to get out of bed now or tries to fight him, she’s going to have to get her surgical incisions restitched.”
Twilight paid the nurse no mind. Instead, she stormed into the room, and jabbed a hoof into Discord’s chest. “Alright, that’s enough, Discord,” she demanded. “Penny needs rest. Especially for what’s to come. A unicorn from the Royal Guard’s Exorcist Corps will be here in several hours.”
The draconequus shrugged and floated up to the ceiling. “Fine, I was done with this spoilsport anyway.” With a snap of his claws, he was gone. It was surprising that he would relent this easily, as it would usually take mention of Fluttershy to get rid of him.
At the disappearance of Discord and the sight of Twilight, Penny’s body sagged. A tired smile spread across the small mare’s face. “Thanks...” She inclined her head forward and the bowler hat fell into her lap. “Dealing with him is such a pain.”
With a nod, Twilight pulled up a seat to Penny’s bedside. “It might not look like it, but I think he’s trying to be your friend,” she offered softly. “He’s actually trying... even if he’s doing all of the wrong things with you.”
Despite the glazed look in Penny’s eyes, Twilight could see a look of recognition as tears began to seep from her eyes. “I know... it’s just, he scares me so damn much,” Penny replied, shivering. “I saw what he did to all of you... how he perverted you all. If he ever went bad again... and he did that to me...”
Twilight, who’d been in the process of reaching out to hug her niece, froze. Of course Penny’d known about all of that, but she’d somehow never considered what would happen to her niece in that sort of situation. That was why she was always trying to drive him away or lash out at him. He represented her inner demons made flesh... the risk of her being made to hurt ponies without remorse.
“Change of subject,” Penny said, casting her gaze at the door. “Really don’t wanna think about hurting somepony.” She swallowed, shook her head, and when Twilight next saw her face, the smaller mare’s eyes were softer. “So... when’s the exorcist coming and what can I expect?”
~ 14 ~
My eyes drift to the alarm clock a nurse was kind enough to bring me. I guess they realized that being alone in a room with no windows, being able to tell time was a very desirable thing. It definitely makes this stay a bit more bearable. At the same time though, it does nothing to help my anxiety.
At noon today, the exorcist from the Royal Guard will see me. Since it’s 11 already, they’re probably already here, preparing the cleansing ritual. Twilight talked about it a bit early this morning, but I was a bit high from anesthetic and painkillers. Let’s see if I can remember what she said about it.
Firstly, I’ll be led out of the isolation ward and into the space chosen for the ritual. I need to be wearing as little as possible, barring a limiter. That means I can’t be wearing Discord’s pinstripe suit or the matching bowler that he left me with last night. Can’t take off the bandages around my torso, though.
After that, I’ll be bound. Not sure if it’ll be to a bed, or magically shackled to the ground, but it’s supposed to be for my protection as much as it is theirs. Can’t say I’m keen on the idea of being restrained, but it’s either this, or allow this taint to spread, and then possibly have to be executed when I become a threat. Would I become a demon at 100% contamination?
The only other thing I really remember is that it’s going to be painful. That means that I should probably go tend to some sorely neglected bodily needs. I mean, when you’re in a bed, recovering from surgery and haven’t eaten much because you’re too high to have an appetite, you don’t really need to go... but...
With a sigh, I find the call button on the side of my bed and press it. You know, it’s kinda funny what you don’t notice when you’re absorbed in a book or two, or you have a concussion.
While I wait, I tug at the tie in the collar of the dress-shirt beneath the jacket and start having a go at the buttons on both inner and outer articles. It’s not easy, and my quickly recovering wounds ache as I move, but I manage to undo them without just ripping them.
After but a few moments, Nurse Redheart joins me in the containment room. “What seems to be the problem, Penny?” she asks, noting my attempts to disrobe. She blinks, and then frowns. “I’m surprised you were allowed to remain clothed after Discord’s visit. Your sutures need to be checked regularly.”
I look down at the shirt and matching pants. “Yeah, I can see that being a problem.” Flinching slightly, I try and fail to pull off my jacket. “I anyway, I need to...” My cheeks flush with warmth. “I need to use the mares room, and since I need to strip for the cleansing later... may as well go all the way.”
A sympathetic look crosses Redheart’s face as she realizes my conundrum. “You’re not cleared to leave isolation until the ritual, but I can have a chamberpot and a privacy screen brought in for you.” With the gentle care one might expect from a mother, she reaches her hooves out and helps me remove the jacket and shirt. “You should know, however, that you’re likely to be unable to pass a movement yet. The specific medication used on you puts your lower digestive tract into a state of stasis. You’ll probably be plugged up for another day at a minimum.”
Oh joy; at least I know I won’t be shitting myself out of pain.
Once she helps remove the pants, I frown. It still feels like I’m wearing something on my body... around my hips and back-end. Needless to say, if I hadn’t already been blushing, I would be when I look to see what it is. Lacy black pony panties, cradling my teats and my clinging to my figure.
“It’s like Discord wants me to smash him and stab him...” I murmur, using my own hoof to gently push them off. Getting assistance removing my shirt and pants is one thing, but underwear—wanted or not—is another. “Could you help me down?”
She looks momentarily surprised, but she grabs me under my forelegs and lifts me down to the ground. Redheart watches for a few moments as I carefully stretch and jog in place for a moment. Content that I’m not in crippling pain, and not too weak to stand, the nurse leaves.
It’s been too long since I’ve stood on my own four hooves. My muscles don’t necessarily feel weak, but for certain I’m rather stiff. Admittedly, my torso is still rather sore where my ribs were broken and where they had to go in to remove bone fragments, but it’s not so bad.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spot my hallucination from the other night watching me. She’s just standing there by the door, with an indecipherable look on her face. It’s almost like she wants to say something, but is unsure of what to say.
I know I should be alarmed that I’m hallucinating again, but there’s something about her presence that’s soothing... empowering almost. Just knowing that she’s there, even if she’s not real, fills me with an inner strength and determination to thrive.
For a quick moment, the sensation of hooves around my throat passes over me, along with the feeling of broken... something on my back. I remember... a male Aqua Regia. A crying mare... But where do these memories come from?
Seemingly reading my mind, the gray pegasus mare—and for the first time since seeing her, I realize she’s not diminutive like me—winces and looks away. Funny how the figments of one’s own mind can be so animated, while still responding to your every thought. Still... why’s she presented as a fully grown pony and not a pint-sized pervert like me?
Maybe I subconsciously want to be able to feel big about something... I mean, being hospitalized again certainly makes me feel more like a foal, and these childlike outbursts don’t help any. I frown. But that doesn’t explain what I saw... what I felt.
From the opposite side of the glass door, I hear a small rattlng. Flicking my gaze to the door, I spot Redheart pushing a small dolly loaded up with a chamberpot, a container of disinfectant wipes, a roll of toilet paper and a large folding privacy screen. When I look again, I just catch Silver Script passing through the wall.
Even as Redheart sets up the privacy screen and the chamberpot, my gaze never leaves that spot. Why would an image conjured by my damaged brain or psyche walk through walls? Why not just vanish when I’m not looking? It’s fucking eerie, for sure.
No point fretting over it. I’m clearly suffering from a concussion, and even if I’m not, I’ve been through a traumatic event. Fuck knows I’m probably going to need to sleep somewhere near a bat pony for a while. Should I write a letter to Princess Luna and ask her to watch over my dreams?
I shiver and use my newfound privacy to relieve myself. It’s a bit weird going when the only thing between me and the nurse is a cloth partition, but it’s probably policy. After all, they just operated on me not too long ago, so she probably needs to be around in case I fall and hurt myself. I do feel a bit weak.
By the time I finish, wipe myself with some provided toilet paper, and wash my hooves with some disinfectant wipes, my ribs and sutures are starting to ache slightly. It’s more like that achy knee Soren always had, so I’m not really inclined to mention it to Redheart.
Coming out from behind the curtain, I flick my eyes immediately to the door. Nurse Redheart’s over by the closed glass panel, speaking to somepony in night guard armor. Somepony’s here. Not just anypony though. I’d recognize that blue mane, red highlight, and tufty ears anywhere.
“Penny, ya feckin’ troublemaker,” says Evening Script, her eyes alight with mirth. “I hears you went and got into a scrap with a damn demon.”
A smile crosses my face as I meet her gaze. Maybe everything’ll be alright after all?
If ever there was a time where I would want to hug somepony, it’s right now. Maybe it’s the subtle and not so subtle changes that have been affecting me psychologically and physiologically, or maybe it’s because I feel safe around her, but I’d like nothing more than to just wrap my forelegs around her front in as close an approximation of a crushing bear hug as is feasible for a pony my size. Then again, I could just be somewhat muddled from the anesthetic and painkillers.
Ah what the fuck.
In spite of the dull ache in my chest and my unsteady gait, I trot up to her and throw my forelegs around her neck. “Master Corporal Evening Script!” I cry, still unsure of why I’m so exuberant to see her. “It’s so good to see you!”
She seems taken aback by how I’m behaving. Had I ever shown any inclination of being touchy-feely with her? Maybe this is another symptom of what I did after killing the changeling... of purging parts of Soren from my psyche.
“Whoa there, ya little idjit. Didja forget you’re supposed to be getting purged of demonic contamination?” she practically squeaks, pushing my head down and trying to free herself from my hug. “What’d be the point of that if ya go and contaminate me too?”
... good point.
She grins and pats me atop my head. “Besides, it’s Sergeant now.”
I release my grasp, but not before giving her neck a quick nuzzle. She stares at me with a raised eyebrow for a long moment as I retreat a respectable distance away. Still, I smile at her warmly.
“Congrats! So I take it you’re here to escort me to my exorcism?” I ask with a strange exuberance. Seriously, what’s up with me? My smile turns into a smirk as I tilt my head. “Or are you just visiting your favorite deranged midget, hoping for a nightmare to snack on? Pretty sure I’m gonna be having plenty of those.”
Eve slowly turns to nurse Redheart with a look of worry. “Is she alright?” she asks. “She was erratic before she left Canterlot, but this is something else.”
Redheart slowly shakes her head. “She’s been all over the place since she was brought in with a concussion and broken ribs,” she replies in a curt tone, as though she wishes to say more. She probably would if I weren’t right here. “I don’t think she’s ever been in a right state of mind in all the times she’s been to this hospital, though. Honestly, she needs therapy.”
I stomp my hooves petulantly as I narrow my eyes at her. “I considered flirting with you, but now that I know you wanna send me to my own personal hell...” I huff and point my nose in the air. “I’d sooner have my soul pried from my body and have my demons stripped from it.”
The nurse looks like she’s about to give Eve a dry-humored, “You see what I mean?” That comment drops dead in her throat when she sees the change wash over Eve’s face. That look of worry morphs into grim acceptance.
I was a little high when Twilight filled me in on what’s going to happen, but honestly, it’s pretty fucking horrifying. The more I think about it, the more I remember. When I was talking about having my soul separated from my body and have the demons ripped out? That wasn’t some sort of warped metaphor.
The exorcist is going to literally pull my soul part-way out of my body. This ritual is incredibly dangerous not just because they need to be able to overpower the bonds that shackle my spirit to my body, but because they need to be delicate enough to not completely rip out my soul while the soul gem is present.
That’s right. A motherfucking soul gem: a magic rock that sucks up and contains souls. That demon fragment’s getting locked in a gem and thrown into the depths of Tartarus. This shit goes bad? My entire soul ends up locked in that gem with it. No getting to see the afterlife for me. Just an eternity... waiting, wishing for death.
“Ye sure, Penny?” Eve asks through clenched teeth. I can just make out one of her fangs pinching her lip—like she’s holding herself back from saying something. “I’ve been where you’re gonna be standing; gotta say, it’s feckin’ horrific.”
With a nod, I say, “Aunt Twilight told me.” I swallow and stand by the door. “I’m ready.”
~ 15 ~
Honestly, it’s kind of a shame that I’m not allowed to go into this without a limiter band. If I had just five minutes of unrestricted magic, I could very well do something with my mane. Sure, they cleaned me up when Aunt Twilight and the others brought me in, but now that I’m up and actually moving through the halls, I can feel just how bad my mane’s gotten. Whatever they did to clean it, it was more to sterilize it and get the blood out than actually wash it, so the ends are splitting in spots and it feels... ragged.
I swear it’s not that I want to look pretty in the unlikelihood that I die during the ritual.
Then there’s the fact that I’m starting to feel fidgety as the drugs wear off. I’ve grown so used to letting out a certain amount of magic each day that it feels wrong to not use it. Like an addiction... a desire... a biological need. That might just be the routine talking though.
Then again, it’s probably also the fact that my reservoir hasn’t been drained or actively siphoned off into my mana battery for some time. All sorts of mana built up in the system, and it has nowhere to go. This could be interesting...
Still, it’s kinda weird being escorted by Eve with a nurse flanking me. It’s kinda like I’m I’m a prisoner. I don’t like it. I don’t like this limiter. I don’t like not being able to use my magic.
Eventually, we reach an operating theater. Redheart separates from us at the door. When Eve and I enter, I’m surprised that there’s no magic suppression wards present; just a hairless unicorn tattooed with many of the wards on the door of the room I’d been contained in.
It’s really strange seeing a stallion without fur or a mane, especially one who’s been tattooed in red ink. I suppose when you’re fighting demons, the best way to avoid contamination is to make your body a temple, so to speak.
“Thank you, Sergeant,” the stallion says. Igniting his horn, he pushes her backward out of the operating theater. He turns to me and smiles, his vibrant amber eyes aglow with some sort of eldritch energy. “So you’re the great hunter?” It’s not a teasing tone, or one of disbelief—amusement, maybe. There’s no malice, either. Just a simple confirmation.
No point in being rude, Penny. “Yes, sir,” I reply with a bob of my head. “I’m Silver Penny, sir.”
I half expect him to offer a hoof to shake, but he mimics my movement. “Well met, Silver Penny, daughter of Shining Armor.” There’s a bit of amusement as he says daughter, but it doesn’t sound mocking. “I am Ardent Soul of the Royal Guard Exorcist Corps.”
His lips part as his smile grows wider, revealing sharpened teeth. I’m not talking about teeth that are naturally sharp, like a bat pony’s incisors, or a dragon’s fangs; no, these are filed down, ritualistically, if the runes inscribed on his teeth are any indicator.
Ardent looks past me, and his brow arches. “And who is that?” he asks, sounding a lot more interested.
I follow his gaze, and catch sight of a silver pony slipping backwards through the wall. Sure enough, it’s the familiar specter of Silver Script... Why does she look so alarmed though? Why would her feathers bristle and her hackles raise?
“Is that your mother?” he offers softly. “You’re the spitting image of her.”
I stand there, mouth frozen mid-thought. “I... wait, you can see her?”
He nods once. “I see spirits wherever I go,” he explains. His smile falters somewhat. “Were it not for your recent experience with a demon, I’d be more surprised that you can see her.”
A chill runs down my spine as I stare at the spot where Silver Script passed through the wall. She’s not just a hallucination... A demon hunter can see her. But if that’s the case...
“She can’t be my mother,” I croak. I want to tell him my otherworldly origin, but my voice freezes in my throat whenever I try to give the words life. “I thought she was supposed to be a hallucination that I was experiencing because of the concussion.”
“Something to discuss after the ritual, then.”
He leads me over to the center of the room. Etched on the floor in chalk is a very intricate circular pattern. I can make out a circumscribed pentagram as the basis of it, but a lot of the runes and patterns are lost on me.
“I need you to stand here,” Ardent instructs me. He points at a small circular spot at the center of the pentagram. “No matter what happens, I need you to remain conscious and within the circle. Otherwise, your soul will likely be entirely separated from your body. Do I make myself clear?”
Yikes, I think to myself. No pressure or nothing. Just don’t pass out from pain, yeah?
I nod.
He crosses the room. A fair distance away, he takes his place in a smaller, but more densely-runed pentacle. Makes sense that he’d want his own extra layer of protection, despite the tattoos.
Between us, I finally notice a strange construction that I initially mistake for a small brazier. It’s just three wooden dowels crossed at their midpoints. It’s constructed to hold up a small stoneware dish.
What’s in the dish is what really fascinates me: a tall egg of quartz crystal. What’s so fascinating about it is the fact that it’s floating completely free of gravity, crackling with energy. If I didn’t already know what it was, I’d almost say it was beautiful. Unfortunately, knowing that it’s a soul gem gives it a foreboding look to it.
As Ardent begins to channel his spell, a gold light fills the room. There’s no source at first glance... until I look down at the circle I stand inside. Where once chalk lay on the floor, only blinding golden light remains. In fact, as I look on, the rest of the room seems to fade.
The room continues to fade, slowly becoming a featureless black void. My eyes flick from the soul gem to the operating theater viewport. A cold chill runs through my veins as I just catch sight of Aunt Twilight before that too disappears into the void.
Eventually, only the soul gem, the exorcist, the gold light, and I remain. Even though my hooves don’t appear to be touching anything, I can still feel the ground beneath me; it does nothing to comfort me, though.
You know what else doesn’t comfort me much? Chains made of the same golden light shooting up out of the circle to ensnare me. Shackles form around my neck and legs where the chains crossed, and then the chains connected to them go taut. It’s not pulling strong enough to force me to the ground, but my limbs are certainly not able to move at all.
“May Celestia’s light guide me through this darkness,” comes Ardent’s voice in a low whisper, “and bless my magic as I do her bidding.”
Is this a prayer of some sort? I can’t help but wonder as another, transparent chain surfaces from the void. Or is it an ingrained part of the ritual?
“May Luna watch over this vessel in this moment on the edge of darkness,” comes his whisper again, “and watch over her soul, should worst come to worst.”
Upon the brazier, the soul gem begins to glow a ghostly blue. It begins to rotate slowly, before speeding up. A low whine begins to fill the darkness, and before long, I can’t even hear the whisperings of the exorcist. In fact, I can’t even see him here in the void now. It’s just me and the soul gem.
“Y’know, for something that represents the grim fate that awaits me should this fail,” I whisper aloud to myself, “It sure is beautiful...”
Maybe it’s because I’ve started to pay so much attention to the gem, but I have barely any time to react when a chained ethereal spear launches at me from the void.
At first, I’m confused, because I know getting speared through the chest is supposed to hurt like hell. Then a confusing sensation of a tug and something... expanding within my very being fills the area of my chest. Not the strangest thing in the world, but it’s pretty out there.
I look down at the spot where the thing is sticking out of me. Where I should see my grey coat of fur, instead I see only a transparent blue shape. Is this normal? Part of me wonders if that’s truly the color of a bound soul, or if it’s an effect of the ritual...
A glance behind me reveals that my soul is protruding from where I remember the spear piercing me, approximately halfway down the length of me. It’s just my ethereal body, forelegs, and head... apparently.
Yet as I return to staring down at my soul’s chest, where the gold chain and spear still protrude, I see something else... a large, red mass writhing near where my heart would be. Fear and revulsion race through my mind. The contamination.
As if reading my thoughts, I hear Ardent’s voice once more. “Good, you’ve already recognized the blight upon your soul...” he says in the tone of a teacher proud of a student’s discovery. “Can you feel it, though?”
I close off my senses as one would close their eyes, turning my attention inward toward where the mass is. Almost immediately, I wish I hadn’t. The memory of the scent of rotting flesh fills my mind. A flash of an unending army of maggots and worms soon follows.
Nopony can blame me for recoiling. Nope.
“Though you may want to pull back, the next part of the ritual is all you,” he apologizes. “I need you to push the presence out of your body, and that unfortunately means you’re going to have to make contact with it.”
Well that doesn’t sound good...
Again, I reach inward. A struggle erupts between the conscious and instinctive parts of my mind. I know I’ve gotta get this thing out of me, but I also don’t want to touch it. Even as I force myself to wrap it, as I once tried to wrap Discord’s magic, with my willpower, another moment of fear washes over me. Wouldn’t by touching it, I risk further spreading the contamination?
Revulsion spreads through my stomach as I turn my focus to pushing this writhing mass of demonic energy out of my soul. Again and again, the smell of rot graces my mind, and the touch of worms crawling across my skin churns my very being.
I glance back at my body, and look into my own face. Tears are streaming from my eyes, and my legs tremble. Heck, my entire body is shaking.
Is it terror? Or exertion? It’s probably a combination of both.
I can’t fail at this, though. If I don’t, I’ll likely need to be put down. It’s not narcissistic to say that mages with a lot of potential are the worst sort to turn demon. Sure, it’d be cool for my power to increase tenfold but...
The red mass in my ethereal body pulses in response to the thought. It begins to radiate a feeling of... pride?
“If it’s power you seek, I can give it.”
Don’t listen to it. Keep pushing!
“You want to keep those you care about from hurting...”
That much is true, I suppose. Then again, this could be a trick.
“It’s no trick, little hunter.” Moon preserve me, it’s speaking to me in the voice of the blightwolf now. “With the power I could grant you, you could bring the entire nation to its knees. No pony would ever hurt again.”
An image begins to fill the darkness around me: a full view of the lands surrounding Canterlot, which means that I’d have to be at the top of the mountain, Canterhorn. Everything is almost as I remember, but the lands look... wrong—swampy even.
My attention shifts to Canterlot itself. The once illustrious city of spires and domes is but a crumbling shell of its former glory. Much of the city lies in festering ruin, with ponies milling about like zombies... and given the way their bloated flesh is festering and hanging off them, it’s probably not far from the mark.
I’m not alone on the mountain, though... A pony stands beside me. She’s tall like the princess, but gaunt, like her pelt is stretched across a skeleton too large for it. Her patchy grey coat is matted with blood and filth... and in addition to her unicorn horn, two horns similar to that of an ibex erupt from the top of her head. Her naked spade-tipped tail flicks back and forth as she looks out across the ruined landscape.
She turns to look at me...
I turn to look at myself...
... and I scream at what I would become.
... and I scream for my lost innocence.
~ 15 ~
It was one thing for Twilight to read up on the ritual, but it was another for her to actually see it firsthoof. No amount of study prepared a pony to witness what she could only describe as a perversion of nature and harmony. That it was happening to Penny just made it all worse, but it had to be this way.
At the very start of the ritual, she’d noticed a black mist taking form, obscuring the room. Despite this, she never noticed her view of Penny, the soul gem, or Ardent Soul growing any weaker. It just killed any hint of the room.
“What is that blackness, anyway?” the bat pony sergeant beside her asked. “I remember it being all kinds of spooky that time I’d been purged after gettin’ into it with a lesser rage demon.”
The opportunity to share knowledge with somepony else wasn’t enough to fully push the fear she held for her niece from her mind, but she nonetheless appreciated it. Turning her head to Eve, she said, “It’s a cloud of specially charged mana particles that sustain and render spirits visible.” Her eyes flicked back to the small unicorn being exorcised as her soul was ripped free of her body. “A pony’s soul can’t exist outside their body long before departing for the afterlife, unless there’s something binding them there, be it unfinished business or a magic field like this.”
She gestured at the cloud and the spirit of Silver Penny. “It was initially used by a very powerful necromancer to make it easier to reap the souls lingering on the battlefield after his undead army slaughtered all who opposed him.” A grimace split her face at the thought of magic being used like that. “After he was defeated, the Exorcist Corps acquired the spell and have used it for centuries to make the purging ritual safer.”
Although that didn’t kill the conversation entirely, it did leave a heavy pall over the group. Although the ritual was safer, it was by no means perfect; anypony could tell how torturous this was for the small unicorn written clear on her face. They could see it written plain as day that she was struggling her hardest to come out of this alive.
With a sudden shriek of terror, Penny ejected the mass of demonic energy from her soul. The red mass floated free of her body and soul for a moment before the soul gem began pulling it in at an alarming rate. All the while, the very window of the viewing gallery rattled.
Twilight had to remind herself that it was physically impossible for that small of a pony to exert that much force with her voice without being an alicorn... but Penny wasn’t an alicorn. She was a unicorn, so the only way she could possibly cause the room was...
“Shite, would ye lookit that!” the bat pony beside her practically shouted. She gesticulated wildly with one blue-gray hoof in Penny’s direction. “How feckin’ strong’s that filly gotten!? Our informant said she’d only need a B-class limiter at best; this is at least an A-class situation!”
Following the sergeant’s gaze, she locked eyes on the tiny unicorn once more. Eyes clamped shut, still screaming away. At first, there wasn’t any sign that she was using any magic whatsoever: not even a faint corona around the tip. That wasn’t entirely accurate though. There was a strong blue corona, but it terminated close to the base of her horn where the obsidian limiter had been placed.
Narrowing her eyes, Twilight could make out tiny white hairline cracks adorning the hexagonal ring. They were quickly spreading, too. Her eyes widened at the sight and she froze. She’s overpowering it!?
Evening Script, who had experience with explosive ordinance and the results of ponies overpowering a limiter, reacted much quicker.
“Get down!” she shrieked as she threw herself across Twilight and Nurse Redheart. There was a loud bang, followed by the tinkle of broken glass as the glass panel separating the viewing shattered inward. Obsidian shards raced through the air where their heads once stood.
Shards of glass fell upon them like rain, and among it all, a single loud pop erupted above them. A weight landed atop the pony pile. For a while, nopony dared move, for fear that they’d cut themselves on the fallen glass.
“By Tartarus, child!” came Ardent Soul’s voice. “What in the nine hells have you done!?”
Hearing this, Twilight struggled out from beneath Evening Script and Redheart. She dislodged whatever had come to rest atop the bat sergeant in the process, and quickly scrambled over to the operating theater window. What she saw there caused her stomach to sink.
There in the darkness, staring at her own lack of a body, was Penny. A tremor wracked her ethereal form as she slowly began to drift to the soul gem. She looked wildly about the room.
“W-where’s my body!?” she cried, trying and succeeding to fight the pull of the gem. “What happened to my body!?”
Twilight looked back at Redheart and Evening Script gathered around something on the floor. It was the body of a small, silver-grey filly that the three of them knew very well by this point.
It was Penny, and she wasn’t breathing. Almost immediately, Eve swooped in and began chest compressions on the unmoving filly. The shock wore off for Redheart as she rushed from the spot she was standing to the door, calling for a crash team.
Looking back to the operating theater, Twilight frowned. Although Penny was able to keep herself away from the soul gem, she was clearly losing ground. Despite the continuous running motion her soul was making, it was gradually getting closer to that life-drinking stone.
“Penny!” she cried out. “Your body is out here!”
It seemed that the filly’s soul couldn’t hear her. She just kept on trying to distance herself from the gem, and it was clear that panic was beginning to set in. Run as she might, if something didn’t happen soon, she’d be stuck with whatever other beings were bound to the stone.
All the while, Ardent seemed to have just frozen at Twilight’s words. “She’s outside the ritual field?” His eyes snapped to something Twilight couldn’t immediately see. “I don’t know if you’re the young lady’s mother, or if you’re some kind of guardian spirit,” he called out, focusing somewhere opposite of Penny. “She’s not going to be able to get back into her body without your help. This magic field is all that is keeping her bound to this world, so unless she hitches a ride on an earthbound spirit, she doesn’t have long.”
Twilight flinched. She knew the others wouldn’t let her just move the filly’s body. If they were actively trying to resuscitate her, they weren’t likely paying attention to what was going on in there, and they might not realize what had happened, even if she voiced what she was hearing.
Just as she was about to forcibly move Penny’s body back into the room, she froze. Where the exorcist was staring, the shape of a translucent pegasus mare took form. What in Equestria?
The resemblance was stunning, to say the least. If Twilight hadn’t known Penny’s heritage, she’d definitely have considered the possibility that this was an ancestor, but... that couldn’t be the case... Surely not even Discord would alter reality to that degree just to give Penny a guardian angel.
Strangely enough, when the ghost mare saw Twilight, a sad smile crossed her face. It was as though the pony knew Twilight somehow... With a quick nod to the watching unicorn, she spread her ghostly wings and rocketed forth.
Like a mother cat snatching up a kitten, this pegasus spirit nabbed the back of the neck of Penny’s soul and carried her forward. Maybe it was the residual magic from the ritual site, or maybe it was because the mare was sustaining Penny’s own soul, but as the ghostly pair crossed the threshold, neither became imperceptible to the naked eye.
The bat pony and the earth pony looked up in confusion as they heard the voice of the pegasus ghost call out. “Soul delivery! Outta the way!”
Both ponies visibly shivered as the two souls passed through they quickly snapped their attention back to Penny as both souls sank into her unmoving body. There was a sudden cry of “Oh shit!” from the pegasus as she too entered the body.
The horn of the unconscious filly ignited, bathing the room in a bright light. Green and blue energy danced about her horn, wrapping her in a cocoon of energy. So intense was the surge of magic that everypony was forced to take a step back, that’s how much physical pressure it was exerting.
With a loud crack, the energy dispersed in a wave that blew back everypony’s manes. When the light was clear, there lay Penny, exactly as they’d left her... only there was something strange... Penny didn’t have wings, so why was there a large wing covering her side?
“Um, long time no see, Twilight...” came Penny’s voice in a more mature tone she’d heard only once or twice before. “Now, don’t freak out...”
~ 15 ~
“Penny! Catch!” Dad calls out from across the meadow. A crystal hoofball levitates before him, ebbing gently in the same breeze that ruffled his blue mane. The way his bright blue eyes glisten in the sun fills me with a strange warmth.
He throws the ball, and I begin running after it. If my magic was stronger, I’d probably try to catch it, but as it stands, I don’t think I could get a good grip on it. Maybe in a few years, when I’m stronger, but Auntie Twilight says a filly my age shouldn’t push themselves too hard.
Either way, I’m content to just throw myself into the air and wrap my limbs around it just before it hits the ground. Sure, I get a bit dirty as I tumble across the grass, but it’s fun playing with Daddy. Only good, active fillies can join the guard and protect ponies like he does, and I wanna be so strong that I can protect him, Mommy, and all of Equestria!
The only problem with playing with a ball so big is that I can’t carry it myself, and instead have to push it back to him with my head. It probably looks super silly, but Mommy always giggles when I do silly things.
“Why don’t you two come eat before you get too dirty?” Almost on queue, there’s Mommy with her laugh. From the nearby picnic setup, she waves a pink hoof at me and Daddy. “Even if you don’t want to be a princess, what’s important in public?”
I stop for a moment and think while the ball tumbles away. “Mmm, proper dem... demeanor and politeness?”
She smiles at me from the picnic blanket. “That’s right!” Mommy says with pride. She lifts one of her wings and pats the blanket at her side with one hoof. With her wing lifted like this, I see her big belly, where my little brother or sister is.
With a happy cheer, I pronk over to her and snuggle up under her wing, which she wraps around me in a snug embrace. Wing-y ponies like Mommy and Auntie Twilight’s friend Fluttershy are so fluffy and warm. It makes me feel safe... and sleepy, but maybe that’s because bed is safe? Is that why baby ponies grow in momma ponies?
Despite the sandwich Mom’s already levitating out to me, I can’t help but doze off to the warmth and the sound of her heartbeat. It’s too nice... too serene.
Through my eyelids, I catch a bright flash.
“Aww, now ain’t that sweet?” a familiar voice says. “I’m sendin’ this to the Captain and the Princess for sure.”
I groan and nuzzle further into my mother’s side. “Mum, make the mean guard go away...” I whine in a petulant tone. “So... sleepy.”
“You heard Little Me,” a familiar voice replies. Huh? That’s not Mommy’s voice... That’s... “The mean guard can go send her backmail photo and let the psychotic midget sleep.”
My head jerks up, my eyes snapping open to stare at the speaker. Instead of Mommy Princess Cadance, there is the pony I keep seeing, Silver Script, in the flesh... and for some reason, she’s got one of her wings draped over me as a mother would a foal.
Error.
Penny.exe has stopped working.
Book can check online for a solution for the problem, but one will not be forthcoming.
Closing Penny.exe
... Restarting.
What the actual fuck? I stare at the mare, here on a hospital bed with me. This isn’t the quarantine room, but a regular hospital room. But she’s some kind of ghost! How in the nine hells?
“Good job,” Evening Script teases from near the door. She leans against the wall, smirking despite the cuts all over her face and back. Turning to exit, she gives a guffaw. “You broke yourself.”
No. No. No no no no no.When Silver Script visited me before, she was a ghost! I couldn’t even touch her! I can touch her now, however. Does that mean that... I’m a ghost?
The image of a floating stone rotating in the blackness fills my mind’s eye.
That’s it then... I think to myself. My soul has been locked away in the soul gem, and I got Silver Script trapped in here with me.
I bury my face in her neck and just weep. It’s not fair! I did everything right, up until... that panic attack. Why did this happen to me? Is it because I wasted my second chance at life? I could’ve gone and allowed myself to have a second childhood. Instead, I went and put myself in danger to help keep ponies safe. I was going to go spend time with Dad and Mom.
I want my Dad...
At some point, my crying gives way to childish gibbering. Silver Script, bless her heart, just sits there and takes it, wrapping me in a full hug. Maybe things won’t be so bad trapped here with her for all eternity.
“I’m so sorry you’re trapped in this soul gem with me,” I finally manage to get out. “You were just looking out for me; you don’t deserve this!”
Much to my surprise, she laughs. “You’re not trapped in a rock, Penny,” she replies in a voice that eases all the tension in my body and makes me feel safe. It reminds me of my birth mother. “You’re safe in a hospital bed in a normal room now.”
Pulling my face away to look at her, I frown. “Bitch, I wasn’t born yesterday,” I grumble in a tone of false bravado. I wipe my tear-streaked face with a hoof. “I can touch you, and you’re a ghost, so that means...” I sniff. “It means I’m dead.”
Silver Script looks at me with sadness in her eyes. She wants to say something, but she way she scrunches her muzzle says, ‘I know nothing I say is going to reach you at this point.’
Then, there comes a knock at the door. I scramble away from the pegasus just in time to see the exorcist, Ardent Soul, smiling at me with those creepy rune-etched teeth bared. “Allow me to explain,” he says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Miss Script here was once a denizen of the Nexus of Souls: the afterlife of the multiverse. She is, or rather was, an alternate iteration of you.”
From his horn, he projects an image of a waterfall coming into existence in the sky and intersecting an infinite grassy plain. Massive gates line the banks to either side of the river created by the falls. There’s a small island bisecting the river, and opposite of the waterfall is a massive steaming pit into which the river feeds. Just seeing it makes me feel weird, like I’ve been there before.
“For whatever reason, one of the Shepherds of the Nexus, probably Epona or Veles, saw fit to grant her the role of guardian spirit for you.” He looks from me to her, and his smile falters. “When she aided in returning your soul to its body, there was an interaction with your magic.”
Script pats me on the head as I gawp at Argent. “Long story short, you gave me a short-lived magical body, and because I was technically resurrected... I get to go back to the Elysian Fields once this body goes away. Probably by this evening.”
Now out from under her wing, I can see that only the front half of her is complete. At her hips, little motes of blue-green light occasionally flit away from our body. Everything else is just... gone.
Wait... I resurrected her? Does that mean that I accidentally performed necromancy? My eyes widen as I look back to the exorcist unicorn. My lips purse together into a thin line as I chance a look to the door.
Necromancy is a form of dark magic. Only approved mages are even allowed to apply for licensing. Am I going to be arrested now? I’m too young to go to jail!
Seemingly picking up on my distress, Silver hugs me close. “Ardent and I discussed it and our background,” she croons. “You didn’t do any intentional magic, and it can all officially be chalked up as a surge. Won’t be any different from previous ones on your medical record.”
Ardent Soul nods and levitates over a small manilla folder. “Although I’ll be informing Princesses Celestia and Luna of the true nature of your guardian spirit, this is what will be available on the official record.”
Reflexively channeling a telekinesis spell, I’m surprised to find I’m not locked down. For several quiet moments, I flick through the document, glancing it over. Successfully purged, yada yada yada, retired S.M.I.L.E.Agent Sweetie Drops reports on power levels incorrect, blah blah blah, accidentally channeled her mother’s spirit into a corporeal form... Keep away from demons.
Affixed to this sheet is a picture of me sleeping soundly, cuddled up beneath Silver Script’s wing. We really do look like mother and daughter... The more I gaze at the picture, the more of Shining Armor I see in myself, though. Come to think of it, our horns have the same spiral fluting, my fringe is growing in wavy like his... Hell, even our cheek bones look the same. In another life, would he have bedded Silver Script? Would the two of them created a filly just like me?
I levitate the folder back to him and nod. “I understand.” I slide back beneath Silver’s wing and sigh contentedly. “I guess there’s nothing left to do but spend what time I have left with my ‘mother’.”
As he turns to leave, he adds, “Your aunt should be back later. Apparently there was a major bidding war for the blightwolf carcass, and as your guardian, your aunt was left to decide whether it would go to the crown or the proxy for one of the noble houses. She was left with little choice but to have a bank account set up in your name.”
“Journey safely to wherever your hooves call home,” I say, shutting my eyes.
“May the sun and moon keep all our homes safe,” is his quiet reply. “Stars watch over and guide you, little one.”
Left with Silver Script, I have little else to do but lie there. After everything I’ve been through, I’m still plenty tired, and even though it’d be interesting to talk to my other self about the life she lived, I’d like nothing more than to go back to dreaming about being with Mom and Dad in the field.
My lids once more grow heavy as Silver Script contents herself in comforting me, humming softly and warming me with her body. In the end, I’m left with one final thought.
The white unicorn mare—Mommy said her name was Rarity—hums as she looks down at me. Around her float needles, threads, and various bits of cloth. “Oooh, you look absolutely precious, but there’s something missing, darling.”
Just as Mommy and Daddy told me, I stand completely still on the big stool in the dressmaker’s studio. Even so, I can’t help but turn my head slightly to look to her. “Am I really precious, Ms. Rarity?”
She beams at me, levitating a golden tiara before me. “Absolutely.” There’s a white gemstone nested in the tiara that I feel drawn to. “And this will complete the ensemble! Since your name and coloring centers around silver, which is linked to the moon, Selenite seemed to be the proper choice for you.”
The golden ornament floats toward me, rotating and wrapping around my head. It fits perfectly, resting just beneath my horn. The thing is weird, but not uncomfortable.
“Now then, darling.” She daintily lifts me with her magic, moving me from the stool to the floor. “Come with me, and we shall show off your new outfit to your Mommy and Daddy and all of their friends.”
The mare leads me through her boutique to a set of curtains. As I stand there, I catch a sidelong glance of myself. A white leotard encases my torso, over which is a navy blue skirt that doesn’t quite cover my bum. My legs are all covered in matching long navy boots. The navy neckerchief around my neck is fastened with a pink heart brooch.
I look so magical...
“Presenting, Pretty Guardian Sailor Silver!” comes Rarity’s voice as the curtains part. My legs don’t want to work at first, but with a bit of telekinesis, she pushes me out onto the stage.
There, crowded around the stage are Auntie Twilight, her friends, Daddy, Mommy, and even Princess Luna. All of them are smiling, stomping their hooves, or in the case of Mommy and Miss Fluttershy, cooing. It feels... nice, this.
Getting into the whole display, I strike a heroic pose. “I am Sailor Silver, a warrior of justice! In the name of the Moon, I will protect the weak, and triumph over evil!” I don’t exactly know why I say it, but it feels right.
The stage platform rotates, showing off my outfit and petite form to the crowd. Everypony loves it; Mom and Fluttershy are especially going wild for some reason. Am I really that cute?
I make eye contact with Princess Luna, and a wave of dizziness washes over me. Suddenly, Rarity’s boutique and showroom are so much less vibrant. Even the ponies seem somehow seem less present. It’s almost like they’re see-through.
The midnight blue alicorn steps out of the crowd. “This is a dream,” she says in a soft voice. “We must have words, Penny.”
Instantly, all of the other ponies dissolve into motes of light. Rarity’s boutique fades away. I’m left alone with Princess Luna in a featureless void. Funny enough, the costume remains, and I’m still smaller than I should be.
“Princess Luna...?” I ask, shaking my head free of the confines of my dream imposed perception. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”
Her expression turns dour, but her eyes never lose the softness that accompanied her voice. “We should think so,” she ranswers, stepping forward. The princess practically looms over me, causing me to flinch back slightly. “You have been through many traumatic ordeals in such a short time—things that have given more mature, mentally stable ponies recurring nightmares...”
She looks to the side, and a small pane of magic appears, showing my fight with the blightwolf in the third pony perspective. Even my near rape. The image shifts, showing myself chained in the ritual circle, my soul protruding from my chest. “These would have broken lesser ponies, Silver Penny. And yet...”
Now the pane shows me nestled beneath the wing of Silver Script, sleeping quite happily. It flickers, and suddenly a small unicorn filly is playing catch with Shining Armor. It flickers again and I’m posing for a crowd of my family and their friends.
Her expression turns sad. “You’re having such safe, albeit infantile dreams.” She turns away from me and dismisses the viewing pane. “That isn’t right, Penny. In fact, it’s downright horrifying. At the very least there should be some sort of element of fear in your dreams, but twice you’ve entered REM over the last day, and twice you’ve had these dreams.”
Conjuring up a cushion, I lie down before Luna. A heaviness presses down on my heart and tears begin filling my eyes. “Do you want me dreaming about this!?” I scream, conjuring up a viewing pane that depicts me getting fucked by the blightwolf, my vagina bleeding and tearing as he fucks me... my hips ripping apart as he forces his knot into my shredded insides, leaving me a mess of blood and cum. “Is that what you want?”
“Penny, no, I...”
“Or what about this!?” I bellow. The image distorts, and suddenly I’m flying over Canterlot on draconic wings, my naked, spade-tipped tail trailing behind me as pestilence spreads in my wake. “Would you rather I dream about hurting everypony I care about!?”
She looks at me in horror as I tremble on the conjured pillow, tears rushing down my cheeks. I turn my head away and clench my eyes shut. This is awful. Nopony should be screaming at Princess Luna, least of all me... yet I’m doing it like a petulant child.
“The only reason I’m having these nice, happy dreams is because...” I sniffle, opening my eyes and just gazing at her hooves. “It’s because Silver Script’s presence is like that of my mother... It’s comforting me. I feel safe with her for some reason, and by tonight she’ll be... she’ll be gone!” In a quieter voice, I ask, “Is it so wrong that I have these cancerously cute dreams while I can?”
Luna doesn’t move. I can feel her gaze bore into me, but I daren’t look her in . “Penny, I...” She falters. “Why won’t you let anypony help you?”
I’m taken aback. The question isn’t accusatory, but there’s something about it that ruffles my feathers. No, wait. I’m not a pegasus. It tweaks my horn. It’s not like she’s talking down to me, or an intonation of pity. No, it’s like a teacher who wants the best for you, but has been asked a question that the student should know the answer to.
“You’re... disappointed in me for trying to be strong and independent?” I ask, trying to be sure of what I’m hearing. “Is that what you’re saying?”
The alicorn princess reaches out one hoof to lift my chin up to look into her eyes—her teary eyes. Oh fuck I made Princess Luna cry... My stomach drops at the sight of the hurt on her face.
“No, please, don’t cry,” I quickly beg, gently taking her hoof between my own. “I didn’t mean it like—”
Cutting me off, the Moon Princess jerks her hoof from my grasp before wrapping her forelegs and wings around me. Um... what... I’m confused.
“This is my fault, Penny,” she apologizes, much to my surprise. “I’d genuinely hoped you would seek help. My sister and I could both see how hurt you were... how much you were holding in.”
She releases me and the void around us takes the form of a large room in a stone keep. The walls were adorned with tapestries of the night sky, a very rudimentary telescope seated by a small window in the far wall. Through the window, chanting could be heard...
“Hail Celestia, vanquisher of the King of all Monsters!”
A wooden door near us slammed open, revealing a younger, enraged Princess Luna. “We fight together and rule as equals she says,” the young princess hisses, slamming the door shut with her magic behind her. As she speaks, I note the words don’t seem to match her lip movements. “All the while, ponies shun my night in fear, make fell insinuations about me, and solely credit her for all we do!”
Throwing herself on the bed, I see the young Luna pull a pillow over her face to scream. “It isn’t fair! Don’t they realize all that I do for them?” Despite the muffling of the pillow, her words are clear to me.
I look from the young princess to the actual Luna. Seeing my confused look, she explains. “Before my fall, I was jealous of my sister. Together we worked to make Equestria a safer place for all of our little ponies. Yet nopony wanted anything to do with me due to superstitions about me and my association with the bat ponies.”
There comes a gentle knock on the door. “Luna, are you alright?” comes Celestia’s gentle voice. “After the victory parade, you just ran off and nopony knew where you were.”
Princess Luna looks longingly at the door, a sad look in her eyes. “If only I’d spoken to my sister sooner... she could have helped me connect with our little ponies...”
The room warps around us, and suddenly it’s no longer her bedchamber, but a throne room. Lounging on the throne is an older Luna, sneering down at Princess Celestia at the bottom of the dais.
“Instead, I became this.”
“There can only be one princess in Equestria! And that princess will be me!” bellowed Luna as black smoke wreathed her form, obscuring her entirely. As it cleared, there stood a pitch-black alicorn in full silver-blue regalia.
Before everything fades back to the void, Princess Celestia can be heard saying, “Luna, I will not fight you! You must lower the moon! It is your duty!”
For a while, neither of us can say anything. I just sit there, wrapped in Princess Luna’s embrace. Why did she show me all of this? I just don’t get it. It can’t be...
“Princess, did you show me all of this as a means to try to get me to open up to somepony?” I ask, breaking out of her grasp. “Do you want me to just... talk to ponies about how I feel, regardless of how I think they’ll respond?”
I conjure up images of all of the ponies and non-ponies I know. Twilight and Spike coalesce first, quickly flanked by Shining Armor and Cadance, and then Night Light and Twilight Velvet. Next to the group appears Strong, Eve, and the rest of Eta Squad. The remaining elements of Harmony finally appear alongside Luna and Celestia—more of a second thought than anything else.
Curiously, I don’t feel compelled to conjure up Lyra and Bon-Bon, whom I’ve yet to spend any real time with since coming back to Ponyville. I just... even though I said I don’t hate them, I don’t know how to handle either of them. In letting go of Soren, a lot of my memories of them just feel like they’re secondhand.
Princess Luna looks from the images to me with a look of confusion on her face. “Are these the only ponies you feel safe talking to?” she asks, her voice trembling. “Or are these the only ponies you know?”
My ears lower as she asks the question and her jaw drops. “Have you made no friends since moving to Ponyville?”
I shake my head. “Been too busy trying not to be in the public eye. I just help out with the library, and continue to study magic... and tinker,” I explain. “Other than that, I take on a patrol jobs along the border of the Everfree.”
“Why... oh.” The reason I’ve been so reclusive hits her like a train. “You fear ponies connecting you to Soren, and therefore shunning you.”
I nod, a frown on my face as I turn back to the conjured images. “Of these ponies, let’s talk about why I don’t open up to them.” And so, I begin to lecture the princess as to why I don’t open up to anypony around me. As I go over each pony, I make them disappear.
Twilight’s nice, but she’s too innocent about a lot of things. She might know what rape is, but does she have the tact to deal with a pony who was almost the victim of such? Would she know how to help somepony who still hates herself for having killed in self defense?
Spike’s just too young to heap any of that on. He barely understands his own affection toward Rarity, and can you blame him? I mean, have you seen that tush? He wouldn’t understand half of what I’m trying to convey, and I’d just end up scaring and scarring him.
Speaking of Rarity, I don’t think I could heap any of this on her, Fluttershy, or Pinkie. All of them come off as very pure ponies. Rarity might read some naughty romance novels, and Flutters surely knows a fair deal about death, but none of them should have to hear about how straight up killing a living, thinking being has warped me.
Applejack and Dash are both iffy. I get this weird feeling that they’d have my back if I put some trust into them both, but... Kinda the same as the rest at this point.
Mom, Dad, Grandfather, and Grandmother are all far away, and what I’ve been through isn’t the sort of stuff you discuss with a pony over the mail. Can you imagine starting a letter with “Dear Mom and Dad, the other day I was nearly raped to death by a demon and now I worry that I might accidentally hurt someone if they touch me when I’m not expecting it.” Same effectively goes for Eta Squad, and usually the two of you.
Finally, Princess Luna stops me as the last ponies vanish from the dreamscape. “Penny, I asked you long ago to seek therapy.” She sounds hurt when she says this. “Are you saying that you ignored my request?”
My eyes snap to the princess, a wide-eyed stare as my hackles raise. I rise to my hooves, flaring out my wings in an aggressive posture. “Oh you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I sneer. “Just go off to a shrink, be declared unstable and locked up? Unable to defend myself from those who would take advantage of the infirm, knowing nopony would believe the gibbering of a madmare until she’s practically foaling in her cell?”
The dreamscape shifts into a white, padded room. In one corner, I sit, wrapped tightly in a straight-jacket with my magic restricted by horn-encompassing sleeve. This other me’s eyes look vacant, occasional tears running down her cheeks.
Occasionally, the scene shifts, the light vanishing from the cell. The prisoner Penny now has her face buried in the padded floor as a black, pony-shaped mass ruts her. At these times, dark whispers tug at our ears, promising death and destruction if ever I were to be freed.
“Being locked up in a mental health facility is my personal idea of hell!” I scream, flapping my wings to dismiss the sight. Somehow, Princess Luna looks smaller, more foalish as I look at her. “Not knowing if I’m about to be victimized by an opportunist? I have no guarantee that can’t happen here, because I know that on the inside, ponies are just the same as humans!”
Luna breaks eye contact with me, instead shifting her gaze to the wings at my sides. “Penny... you don’t have wings. Why...”
The anger and rage coursing through the center of my being ceases as she says this. Of course I don’t have wings! Why would I?
I turn my head. Feathery wings greet me as I look on in confusion. What the hell? This doesn’t make any sense. “What the hell...”
My gaze returns to the princess. “Penny, what has happened? Neither my sister or I have detected an ascension,” she says carefully. “How can you have wings if you’ve not...”
Icy fear races through my core as I stare down at her. Does she suspect that I’ve still somehow been altered by the demon? Have I? No... I’m pretty sure Ardent Soul would have said something if I had!
How then? Think: when did I first ever think I had wings?
It was... when I hit my head while fighting the demon... when I saw a male Aqua Regia... He raped and murdered me... Were those Silver Script’s memories?
Focusing on my core, I call out, “Book, I don’t know if you can hear this, but if you can, I need you to look for any memories that seem like they don’t belong.” Luna looks at me with a critical gaze. “Lock down the emotional values of them until I can review them!”
Taking some calming breaths, I lie back down on my conjured pillow. Book will find something, surely. That’s the only thing that makes sense.
“Penny, did you just ask your memory imprint to autonomously shut down the emotional impact of your memories at random?” she asks, taking a step back. “Don’t you know how dangerous that is? It’s one thing to willingly let go of a specific part of yourself but this...”
I shake my head. “It’s not at random, not really,” I explain, noting that the wings are beginning to dissolve. “Since my first interactions with the spirit Silver Script, I’ve been having moments where thoughts and my voice didn’t seem like my own. At first, I thought I was just going crazy, but I think every time we’ve made contact, Script has been inadvertently been leaving... presents, so to speak. I just asked her to find anything that seemed out of place.”
The wings finish dissolving, and we’re left in silence for a few moments. The princess looks at me in horror and wonderment. I look at her with fear and anxiety as I shrink back down to size. She could try to have me locked up for being so flippant about letting my memory imprint alter my mind.
After a few minutes of silence, a small tome appears at my hooves. It flips itself open to the approximate middle, and out climbs a little anthropomorphic me. Funny enough, she too is wearing the outfit I’d been dreaming about not long ago.
“Sorry it took so long, Boss,” Book apologizes, sinking to her knees on her tome and pressing her forehead to the pages. “They were so well-hidden that I didn’t even realize they were there until I was actually looking for them.”
With a feeling of pride, I reach my hoof out and begin rubbing her head. Much like a cat, she leans into it, allowing my hoof better access to her ears. “Attagirl,” I reply. “What’cha find?”
She picks herself up off the book, but returns to a proper seated position after brushing herself off. With a look of excitement, she grins up at me. “What didn’t I find!?” she exclaims. “I found Silver Script’s complete knowledge and understanding of alchemy, several memories pertaining to Princess Aqua Regia of House Blueblood, some knowledge of the Neighponese language, full flight knowledge and memories of how to fly, some very personal romantic memories, and even I’ve added some notes to the bestiary regarding two creatures that you should look at later!”
Amazing, simply amazing. She found and locked down that much in only a few minutes!
Without even thinking about it, I grab her with my magic and pull her into a hug. “You’re the best, Book,” I coo, nuzzling her like a doll. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Princess Luna’s horror seems to melt away as she watches my interactions with Book. A small smile spreads across her face as she watches the two of us. It’s almost like she can’t believe the pony she just saw fearing rape and torture could behave as I am now... Or maybe she’s just amazed at the friendship I’ve formed with my memory imprint.
Releasing Book, I sigh happily. “Go get some rest, my friend,” I instruct her. Jumping to her feet, two tiny dainty hooves, she gives me a salute before pulling her book closed over herself. It’s absolutely adorable with her in that outfit and I can’t help but let out a small ‘Aww’.
Turning my attention back to the princess, I say, “I dunno what I’d do without her.”
All she can manage in response is, “Why Book for a name?”
That actually forces a chuckle out of me. “Oh, that. I figured if I gave her an ordinary name, it’d keep her ego in check. I offered to let her pick her name once, and she went with Mnemosyne. That’s the Greek Goddess of Memory, by the way.”
She gives me that look that a lot of mares seem to give me. That cross between, ‘Uh-huh,’ and ‘I wish you ended that a few sentences sooner.’ Seriously, how do ponies do that? They make it look so easy, but whenever I practice it, I just end up with scrunchy face!
“Well, Princess Luna, I—”
My head throbs, and a chill races down my spine. Oh no... not now...
The dreamscape warps and twists into a white expanse. Cold seeps into my fur and flesh, and snow dances around me, obscuring everything. I don’t know where it is I’m standing, but it reminds me of that town.
“I can feel your magic, little one...”
The voice is chilling—deep, and masculine—but not that of the blightwolf.
Snow crunches somewhere ahead. At first, I don’t see anything; the snow’s too thick. But then I realize that I’m staring at two bright yellow points surrounded by darkness... and then a face resolves around that. It’s blood red... a ring through the nose... and massive horns.
“Hide as you might, I will have you... and then... the Crystal Empire!”
Just staring at those eyes, and seeing his mouth open up, I begin to feel drained... and tired. My body sags, and I can no longer support myself.
Oh no. Please no. Nopony’s going to take my magic. Nopony! Please don’t let this happen... magic’s all I’ve got left.
“Penny, wake!”
~ 16 ~
I wake with a start.
The room around me feels cold, although that may be due to being alone in the hospital bed. No Silver Script with her wing wrapped around me, no blanket pulled over me... Nada. Just me and an empty, dark room and a wet bed.
The gravity of what I felt hits me like a freight train. I wasn’t just having my magic sealed or being pushed to burnout... I dry heave as I climb off the bed. I was having my very ability to use my magic ripped out of me by force. It’s one of the core elements that makes me who I am now, and it felt like I was being robbed of it.
I drag myself into a corner and just clutch myself tightly. The pungent odor of urine clings to my fur, but I barely notice it. To be unable to use magic... I’d be utterly defenseless. Without my magic, what am I? Nothing. I don’t have any real friends of my own, and aside from my hunts, patrols, and tinkering, I have no hobbies. Magic is all that I am...
I’m literally becoming like Twilight was...
It takes a lot of shame to admit it, but in this moment of helplessness, in feeling so damned weak, I weep like a foal. Try as I might, I just can’t stop myself. Even though it was just a nightmare—one that happened right in front of Princess Luna—I’m shaken hard. My self-control is practically non-existent. I can’t help it... I don’t want my magic taken away...
Who knows how long I just sit there sobbing in a corner, reeking of piss? Certainly not me; I’m just a nervous wreck, losing track of time. Maybe it’s fair that I allow myself some time to feel this way.
Color me surprised when somepony finally comes to check on me... The mare who flicks on the lights and finds me isn’t Redheart or one of the nurses, Aunt Twilight or one of her friends, or even Eve. It’s... Bon-Bon?
I mean, I’m like 90% sure. She can try to hide it with a black suit-jacket, sunglasses, and a bowler hat, but come on; you can’t disguise those candy-floss pink and blue mane colors, her cream coat, or the cutie mark of three wrapped candies.
As the light comes on and my teary eyes snap to the her, she halts in her tracks. Bon-Bon’s still looking at the bed, and I don’t doubt she can see a large wet spot on the comforter.
Over the tops of her sunglasses I see her eyes widen, and her head jerks from side to side as she looks around the room. “Sor—I mean, Miss Silver Penny, are you here?” she calls out, still not spotting me. She can hear me but not see me? “I’m Agent Sweetie Drops from S.M.I.L.E.”
The strangeness of it all is enough to get me to snap me out of my funk. Canceling a spell I didn’t realize I’d been casting, I say, “I’m over here, Bon-Bon.” Did I just subconsciously use an illusion spell? “If you’re gonna be incognito, the least you can do is use some sort of illusion enchantment to disguise your cutie mark... and the fuck is S.M.I.L.E.?”
The mare coughs nervously and pushes her sunglasses further up on her snout. “Secret Monster Intelligence League of Equestria; we’re responsible for all Their Majesties' monster-related information gathering.” Her muzzle scrunches as she looks away. “Had the pencil pusher who took the report regarding the blightwolf done their job properly, our agency would have been dispatched in coordination with a Royal Guard contingent.”
Hearing her confirm that some pencil pusher fucked up, I begin to bristle. Biting back a rude comment, I instead make my way back to the bed. “Is that why you’re here?” I query. For a moment, I think about getting up on the bed, but the smell reminds me of my shame. “To debrief me and the exorcist?”
The agent who totally isn’t Bon-Bon shakes her head and tentatively approaches. “No, I was surprised to be contacted directly by the crown following my retirement,” she says. From a sleeve on her suit jacket, she withdraws a roll of parchment. “You were recently asleep, and in contact with Princess Luna, correct?”
I nod, beginning to feel uneasy.
She unrolls the parchment on the floor in front of me. “Does this look familiar to you?” she slaps her hoof down on the sheet. “Have you ever seen it before?”
As soon as my eyes look down at the parchment, a scream tears itself from my throat. Like an icy grasp into my brain, that horrifying memory of my magic being taken from me takes hold. More out of reflex than anything else, I set the parchment ablaze.
“Get it away,” I cry, shrinking back from the parchment. Somehow, seeing that charcoal sketch of the face from my nightmare in flames doesn’t make it any better. If anything, it’s scarier. “Why do you have that?”
“Penny, I need you to answer the question,” she demands, trying to stamp out the flames on the parchment. “Have you seen ever seen him before?”
“Oh fuck, he’s real!?” I cry. Just like that, I’m sobbing again. Against my better judgement, I drag myself underneath the hospital bed. Why doesn’t she at least try to comfort me?
She sighs, picking up what remains of the drawing. “This isn’t good... could it be a premonition?” she mutters, more to herself than to me. “There’s no reasonable explanation for why she’d see Tirek in her dream.”
At some point after I stop crying under the bed, but before Agent Sweetie Drops can bring herself to leave, another pony enters the room. Armored hooves... blue-grey coat... that’s Eve!
I peer out from under the bed at the two. Huh, the disembodied head of Silver Script is sitting atop Eve’s back, looking quizzically at Bon-Bon. Once Bon-Bon sees Silver, however, I see the mare visibly shiver.
Rolling her eyes, Silver begins looking around the room. Once she sees me, she somehow propels herself off of Eve’s back. She just hops along the floor as if she were an in-training level Digimon—wow, I still remember that stuff.
“Sergeant?” Bon-Bon begins. “Agent Sweetie Drops, S.M.I.L.E.. Has Ardent Soul gone off to deposit the soul gem in Tartarus yet?”
I don’t catch any more of their conversation as they leave. “Hey kiddo,” Silver says, sliding under the bed with me. Almost immediately, she’s nuzzling me. “Sorry I had to leave you. Eve and Ardent wanted to talk to me.”
I don’t quite push her away, but she’s perceptive enough to catch my flinch. Backing off to a respectable distance, she frowns. “Penny, what’s wrong?”
It takes a bit for me to find my words. Slowly, I explain the dream and my time with Luna... The memory, the wings... That nightmare thing. I can still remember how horrible it felt.
“Penny, listen, if you inherited a bunch of my memories...” She pauses, biting her lip. “Promise me you’ll avoid the Aqua Regia and romantic memories if you can. Ice Blossom was and is better off without us, and Aqua... She’s a broken pony, Penny; I’ve seen iterations of me where she didn’t kill me, and they didn’t have a happy ending either. Her life is so beyond fucked that she’s a lost cause.”
How can someone who was me say such a thing? I know what it’s like to be that ‘lost cause’, thinking that nopony should help me because of what I’ve done. So what if she killed another iteration of me in another life... can one pony really be so beyond help?
My eyes narrow as I look at her. “I’ll be the judge of whether or not I involve myself with Princess Aqua Regia, Script,” I say flatly. “As for your marefriend, I’ll leave those memories unincorporated out of respect for you.”
Silver Script gives a long-suffering sigh—how do you do that with no fucking lungs?—and turns away. “I mean it, Penny. She’s not worth it; she’s not somepony you can fix.”
I need some time to think. I can’t believe that there’s no way I could help her. As arrogant as the mare seemed when we met I could see the hurt... the fear of her brother. No, stop. You need to get better yourself before you worry about fixing somepony else.
~ 16 ~
A few hours pass in silence. I just lie there under the bed watching the last of Silver Script dissipate. Eventually, after Silver’s gone, a nurse checks up on me and helps me get cleaned up. Not long after that, they tell me that I’m free to go. Somehow, I thought I’d be there longer, but I didn’t incur any other physical injuries during the exorcism. My ribs and surgical incisions are healing nicely, so they see no reason to keep me.
So as I leave the hospital that evening, with what possessions of mine that weren’t ruined by demon blood, I’m left wondering what to do. I’m sure Aunt Twilight will be probably expecting me to show up soon, and if I’m not home before dark, she’ll probably end up looking for me. I won’t take too long... I just wanna have some time to myself.
Dressed in my hat, scarf, and snow boots, with my saddle-bags slung over my back, I make my way south from the hospital. If ever there was a good place to stop and think, it’s the park at the south end of Ponyville. It’s a good, quiet place.
Sure, it represents a really bad memory for me, but that’s all it is... a memory. All places have good memories and bad memories, but I see now that it’s up to me with how I deal with them. I’m starting to see that now...
I remember this bench, I realize as I brush the snow free from it. I remember trying to calm down after being teleported out from underneath the cabinet in Lyra’s bathroom, the morning after the party. No magic, huge migraine, and an unstable mind. If not for the events of that awful day, maybe I’d have done better... stayed stable.
Shrugging my pack off, I lie on the bench, looking out over the field. It’s so peaceful here. Even though there’s nopony around, I can imagine ponies playing in this field so well that I can practically see them in my mind’s eye, plain as day. That day is burned into my memory.
As I stare out across the park, at the edge of the Everfree, there’s just one thing I don’t get. The forest gives off such a sense of wrongness that there are times when even I am uneasy taking a patrol along the border. Most foals I’ve seen have more sense than to go near the place, so why did Pound Cake run blindly in there?
Even if somepony beckoned him, it doesn’t make sense...
“Little filly, why are you so alone?” a voice melodic, sibilant voice calls out. “Have you been separated from your mommy?”
There, at the edge of the treeline is a mare... Mossy green mane, yellow green coat... Just standing in the bushes, watching me. Her eyes, like two yellow lamps, are drawing me in. It’s a gaze I could lose myself in.
“Come with me... we can find your mommy together.”
“Finding Mommy sounds good,” I say softly, rising from the bench. “Will you really help me find my momma?”
Drawing closer to the treeline, something begins to scream in the back of my mind. Why am I so willing to go with this strange mare? Most of the time, I don’t trust a pony as far as I can throw them with my magic—which at this point is probably further than I’d like to admit.
Why are her yellow, slit-pupil eyes so entrancing? Since the moment our eyes met, mine don’t want to break contact. Their depth is without measure, and I’m just... lost in them.
“That’s a good filly,” her melodic voice teases. “Come with me and I’ll help you find your mother.”
I don’t know why I feel drawn across the field to this strange mare, but if I had to liken it to anything, I’d say that it’s like I’m hypnotized. It’s the only reasonable explanation. Silver Penny isn’t a stupid mare; she may be irresponsible, dangerous, stupid, unhinged, but she isn’t... okay, so I am stupid, but I still have more sense to just follow a strange mare into the Everfree Forest.
Come to think of it, I don’t think I could stop following her if I wanted to. It’s like one of those found footage movies, showing a person wandering to their clearly marked demise. My body is on rails, and I’m not actually in control anymore.
There’s something about her that is setting off all sorts of warning signs in my head. How was I able to make her out so clearly when she’s at the edge of the forest? Wait... most ponies wouldn’t just loiter around the border of the Everfree anyway, and she’s not dressed like a guard...
Fuuuck, this mare’s pretty huge... The realization strikes me hard as I cover the last bit of ground to the treeline. It’s like walking up to an 18 wheeler; It’d never look particularly big from afar, but as you walk up to it, you realize just how big of a machine it is... and this pony as big as one.
Another thing I begin to notice up close is that there are thin, scaly patches on her forelegs and across her muzzle. I’m not talking about patches of mange in her fur or even just dermatitis; these are literal scales...
Wait wait wait... I remember something in the bestiary about it, but what was it? Was it a naga? No... those were vaguely humanoid fish-snake-men and heavily secretive. Not known for trying to lure a pony foal. Definitely not native to this region.
“Yes, come closer child, soon I will help you find peace,” the giant—holy fuck she is ginormous—mare hisses, sliding backwards into the foliage. Her front hooves never move though. “Soon...”
Yeeeah, there’s no way she’s going to help me ‘Find my mommy’. The moment she lures me far enough into the treeline, she’s probably going to eat me... but I can’t even cast a spell in this state.
Recap. I’m in some kind of hypnotic state. I’m lucid enough to be horrified by what’s happening, but not enough to cast magic. Oh sweet Celestia, I’m going to die for real, and I can’t even fight for my life.
Okay, this is too cruel. I survived a demon and having my soul ripped out of my fucking body. I’ve practically mastered enchanting on my own, and I have a strong foundation for alchemy just sitting neatly in a box in my memory waiting to be unpacked. All of that knowledge—all of this power—going to waste pisses me off!
As these thoughts cross my mind a cold feeling grows in the back of my consciousness. It begins pressing down on me, pushing and struggling for control. But where’s it coming from?
She lures me into a small clearing not far from the border... this might even have been the same clearing Pound Cake was petrified in. Could this be why he came out here, ignoring me when I tried to catch him?
As we enter the clearing, I step through a briar, its thorns raking across my legs and catching the frog of the hoof. Without even thinking, I freeze on the spot, lifting my hoof to gaze at the spot I’d been pricked. Blood wells up in a small bead. Oh, that stings.
Looking up from my hoof, I see the monster mare looming over me, staring at the blood on my hoof. A forked tongue flicks out of her mouth as she looks at me... Just tasting the air as I take in the sight of her body. The front half is definitely ponylike, but beyond that is the long coiled body of some sort of serpent. She’s a lamia: eater of foals and seducer of stallions.
“Oh dear, that looks like it hurts,” she croons. “Maybe I should just eat you now? Your blood smells so, so tasty.”
Oh fuck no! I will not allow this. Even as she coils up like a spring, seemingly ready to launch herself, I’m taking several steps back. Without even considering my actions, I drop into a combat stance. A quick flare of my horn, and I’m surrounded by my gear.
I’m a bit bummed that my mage’s cloak was ruined by the demon blood, but I’m satisfied that all of my magic knives come to me when I call them. Likewise, the spool of steel wire from my pack and Tausend Reue appear at my side.
I barely give thought to floating the weapons around me in a deathly halo. In the short time I’ve been a fighter, it’s become second nature. I don’t know why but I’ve got this creeping feeling that instinct and willpower might be the only thing to save me.
The lamia sniffs at the air and then gazes at my weapons, a wide grin on her face. “Oooh, you even brought appetizers,” she coos in a voice that gives me the shivers. “Such a thoughtful dinner guest.”
She launches herself at me with blinding speed, her maw open wide. I launch myself backwards, and with a telekinetic shove, three of my magical knives shoot down her throat. My retreat doesn’t stop until I have several trees between us
The lamia slams face-first into the ground where I once stood, kicking up a cloud of dirt and snow. When the cloud clears, I see that she’s still lying there, prone and unmoving. Is she dead?
For a full minute longer than necessary, I stare at her, wondering if it had been that easy. The Everfree forest has grown painfully silent. Even the trees have seemingly stopped groaning and swaying, as if they too are watching.
From the spot the lamia lies, a muffled laughter begins filling the area. Slowly, the creature pushes herself up and wipes the dirt from her face. Her eyes are on me immediately.
“You’re good at this game, little one,” she says teasingly. “Have you practiced throwing candy into the mouths of others?”
What in the nine hells? I just fired several knives into her throat! She should be drowning in her own blood, not laughing at me! The fuck is going on!?
I attempt to retrieve my knives with the same summoning spell I’d used before, only to wince as a jolt of pain lances down my horn. That doesn’t make sense, though. The spell should only fail if I use it on an invalid object or something I’m not attuned to!
The lamia surges forward. She clears the distance between us in an instant, giggling maniacally the whole way. Her snake-like tail wraps around the tree I’m using as cover, pinning me to it.
Her lamp-like eyes bore into me as she takes a deep sniff. “Oooh, you do surround yourself with powerful magic users, don’t you?” A thoughtful look crosses her face. “Perhaps I should erode your mind and have you lure them here before I eat you.” Several needle-like teeth become visible through her scaly lips. “I could make you watch as I consume them and their magic. That would really help ripen your fear.”
Tausend Reue slams into the side of her head as I blink out of her grasp. It’s the first time that I’ve willingly translocated myself, and it’s nothing if not well timed. The force of the hammer’s magnified blow knocks her back enough that her tail rips the tree in half.
“What did you do to my knives?” I demand, slamming one into the back of her neck. Blood wells from the cut, but the knife seemingly disintegrates. Much to my horror, the mana particles seep into the wound as it closes over. “What are you!?”
When the lamia rises once more, there’s no hint of amusement on her face. It’s as if it did not like that nasty trick I just played, nor stabbing it in the back of its neck. Her eyes are cold and haunting.
“Child, I am older than this forest I call home,” she replies, rising high over me. “I have learned much over the millenia. Long before the ponies sent him to Tartarus, I learned how to eat magic from Lord Tirek himself.”
At those words, the image from my sudden nightmare with Princess Luna resurfaces. That dark fur, giant horns, and red skin... I’ll never forget it and the way his mere presence made me feel in that dream.
So she can eat magic like he could, to empower herself? Oh hell, what do I do? I can’t lead her into Ponyville, that’s for sure, and I can’t hope to escape her, either. She’s big and terrifyingly fast.
If Tirek is real and supposedly locked away in Tartarus, he’s probably more powerful than her. If that nightmare was some sort of premonition, maybe I’m supposed to fight him or someone like him. If so, I guess this is my last stand. I either die here, or I meet my destiny elsewhere.
Sucking in a deep breath, I begin to channel mana into my horn. Weaving a brand new spell together, I strip all of the stored magic from my knives—all but one—and converting them into kinetic energy to pump into Tausend Reue. I can just make more later.
The hammer hums in my magical grip with such ferocity that it is literally vibrating. In fact, it’s almost too much for me to hold. I’ll probably only get one shot at this!
I focus on how I felt when I blinked out of her grasp, and begin focusing on recreating that effect. No, more than that, I need to focus on directing it. I appear in one place, only to occupy another moments later. It’s all well and good to be able to blink at random, but eventually I’m just going to end up inside a tree.
It’s not just the one blink that needs to be planned and executed, though. I need to be like Aunt Twilight. Dodge, distract, circle around. I need to adapt. Block, parry, riposte. This is what I trained for.
With every move of our deadly dance, a trail of destruction follows in our wake. Trees are shattered and uprooted. Flames blacken and disturbed boulders litter the path as I try to divert and funnel her into just the right position.
Yet I do not go unscathed. More than once, the lamia’s tail lashes out, sending me crashing into a tree or boulder. My ribs re-break, and I’m pretty sure my surgical wounds have started to open up again.
Still, I power on, fighting through the pain. The only options I have are live or die; I don’t have the time to prepare a long-range teleport, even if the principles should be similar.
Once I manage to create a significant smokescreen to obscure myself, I anchor myself and begin drawing in the natural ambient magic of the Everfree. For a while now, I’ve been toying with the idea of a spell to launch an object at high velocities. The whole point was to create a spell that I could use to put down a dangerous magic resistant target at range, in order to augment my own weaknesses.
After the demon, I had more time to myself to work it out. It’s basically an application of portions of the same kinetic amplification system present in Tausend Reue’s enchantment, tweaked to double velocity instead. It creates a plane in the air, and anything that passes through it will have its velocity multiplied.
I call it the railgun spell because it’s intended to be applied in three layers. Problem is that because I haven’t created any safeguards—something I’d hoped to get Twilight’s advice on, the spell’s incomplete. That means it’s dangerous for me to even use. I could put myself into a coma, or worse. I wouldn’t use this if I had no other choice though...
My horn begins to shine brightly as I manage to put together the first layer, arcane patterns twisting into a circle in the air. As the second layer shimmers into existence a moment later. Sweat begins to pour down my forehead as my horn begins to heat up.
“Silly little filly,” the lamia calls out as she slithers up my carefully constructed killing channel. “I told you that I eat magic. There is nothing you can do here that can hurt me.”
As the third plane coalesces, her eyes become visible through the smoke. They’re positively glowing at as I levitate my hammer. Gotta line this up just right, because I have no idea what’s where anymore, so if I have collateral damage, I want to make sure she’s dead too. Would hate to destroy someone’s house and not have a dead lamia to show for it.
Now, to get the kind of damage I wanna inflict, I’m gonna have to accelerate Tausend Reue up to at least 282 meters per second. No, let’s go on the safe side and jack that up to 300 just to be on the safe side. I can’t help but giggle as I begin to charge up a shove that should effectively launch my hammer at mach 7 once it passes through my spell.
Almost immediately after I release the shove, however, something goes terribly, terribly wrong. Instead of passing through the first plane of my railgun spell prototype, it comes to a complete stop. The railgun spell collapses in on itself, and magic surges back into my horn... It’s not merely everything I pumped into the railgun though... This is all the kinetic energy pumped into the hammer... and parts of the enchantment to boot. My last clear thought before a blinding explosion launches me backward into a tree is, “Ain’t spell backlash a bitch?”
~ 17 ~
I’m not sure what finally brings me to my senses. Could be the fact that a snake pony has my midsection wrapped up in her tail, getting ready to eat me? Is it her sibilant laughter? No, wait, it’s the searing pain coming from the base of my horn.
“A valiant effort, child,” the lamia says in that faux-motherly voice she’d first used when luring me. “Truly, I have not been so active in decades.”
She lifts me gingerly with her tail, bringing me face-to-face with her. A bit of blood trickles into my eye. Her tongue flicks out, tasting the air around me. Those massive pupils have gone to slits.
“I shall cherish sucking the magic through your broken horn, little warrior,” she trills as her tongue wraps around my horn. “I do so love the taste of blood and magic as another soul finds eternity.”
I attempt to build the makeshift blink spell-matrix. The moment I try, however, my skull feels like it’s on fire. Sparks explode from my horn and a fresh trickle of blood pours into my eye.
That’s when it finally clicks in. That backlash didn’t just knock me unconscious; it shattered my horn. The source of my power... my hopes, and dreams... gone!
Cold dread and absolute hate is all that drowns out the pain. I hate all the horrible shit that’s happened to me. I loathe that I keep putting myself or ending up in these sorts of situations. The desire to annihilate the lamia.
I have not... come this far... to die now!
Something inside me snaps, and then everything goes green. No longer am I not in control of my own body. In fact, I feel powerful... vengeful. The pain of my injuries fades away as hate overtakes my every thought. I’ll not let you take this from me, you snakey cunt!
I stare up at the lamia’s face as she jerks back in alarm. A small spire of black flame erupts in the top field of my vision, and shards of something... possibly my horn, orbit the inferno.
Lashing out with an uncontrolled burst of uncharacteristically black magic, I create a momentary cloak of flame. I don’t know if it’s hot, cold, or what, but the suddenness of it forces her to drop me. Yes, I feel strong now.
Taking in the burns on her body that aren’t healing, a sadistic sneer spreads across my face. I don’t know what sort of change has come over me, but I can hurt her. No, I can do so much more. I begin to purr—actually purr—at the thought of making her suffer. She wanted to erode my mind and have me lead all of my loved ones to their demise...
A thought occurs to me as I glare at her. The area darkens visibly for a moment before a flame lashes out from my horn, striking her in the forehead. Perhaps I will turn you into a puppet instead, mmm?
The lamia’s eyes widen with sudden fear for a moment before taking on a glazed look, the pupils glowing green. “Tell me, serpent,” I say coldly, “Did you try to lure a cream colored pegasus foal several months ago?”
Her lips turn downward and I see a peek of fang as she scowls. “Yes, I remember the morsel that cockatrice robbed me of,” she snarls in response. “It did not live to repeat the mistake.”
She lured Pound Cake here. She’s the reason he was petrified! Because of her, I went over the edge on my downward spiral and nearly murdered Aunt Twilight! I’m going to make this waste of existence suffer!
“How many ponies have you killed?” I bite down on my lip hard enough to draw blood.
Egged on by the presence of blood, the serpent pony beams. “Dozens, maybe even a hundred,” she says with pride. “Do you want to see my collection?”
Her... collection? Her motherfucking collection!? I scream internally at the thought. Black flame surges about the top edge of my vision, where my horn used to be. I will destroy you!
I suck in a calming breath. No, Penny. If there are bodies, they need to be given to their families so that they can be given proper funerary rites.
Again, I lash out with this new, dark magic. “Take me to them.”
~ 17 ~
It was nigh the appointed time of the Ritual of Sunset. Princess Celestia was thankful for it, as it marked the end of her day, where she could take what little free time her station afforded her. It would be a time for cake, merriment, and an escape from the damnable nobility.
That was the plan, at any rate. Unfortunately, her many centuries as Princess of Equestria had taught her that things seldom went as planned. If anything, her time with Twilight Sparkle had reinforced that notion. Never rely on plans without also having a contingency plan or twelve.
As she stepped out onto the parapet and looked out over her lands, she was struck with a terrifying sensation: dark magic. Though she was no stranger to its use—she even taught it in order to prepare her guardsponies should they ever encounter it—it alarmed her to feel such a strong surge of it so close to her seat of power. If she didn’t know better, she’d go so far as to estimate it was in the vicinity of Ponyville...
But Twilight knows better than to use dark magic with such wild abandon.
Shortly after the initial explosion, when the feeling did not abate, Luna landed beside her on the balcony. “I know you felt it, sister,” Luna whispered, a slight tremor in her voice. “To feel such strong dark magic when we have not yet confirmed Tirek’s continued imprisonment... Could Sombra have survived the Crystal Heart’s power?”
“It’s possible that he yet lives, Luna, but I do not think that it is King Sombra that we are sensing.” Celestia gestures out towards Ponyville, or rather, to the Everfree Forest, where a blackened spot was growing. “Sombra was prideful, but kept his emotions in check. It feels too primal, too raw. Almost like somepony powerful has lost control.”
“Should we send—” The question froze on Luna’s tongue. Words were manifesting in the skies above the Everfree Forest. “I heard the voice of the felled beast beckon, 'Come and see.' And I looked, and beheld a pale mare: her name was Death, and Hades followed in her advent.”
“There is no time to deploy the Elements of Harmony, nor would I risk them against somepony that has taken the moniker of Death.” Celestia spread her wings, forgoing the lowering of the sun. This was far more important, for if this potential crisis cannot be quelled peaceably, then this self-proclaimed Death will have to be put down.
“I shall fetch my armor and scythe.”
~ 17 ~
Penny was late, Twilight decided as she stared at the clock—a full forty-seven minutes at a minimum. She’d fully expected Evening Script to deliver her adopted niece by now, but so far, there hadn’t been any word. None at all.
Could the young mare have been held over for complications without anypony sending word? No, surely the sergeant would’ve passed on word. After all, Evening Script herself had said, “There’s no way I’m letting that little idiot run free without supervision until I get my next orders. Not after what she’s been through.”
When Twilight looked at how the bat pony cared for Penny, she was reminded of her brother, and how he watched over her as a filly. Did Penny look up to Eve in the same way? Or had Penny’s foal-ish regression caused Eve to want to protect her?
With a sigh, she glanced at the entrance to the small kitchen and called out to Spike. “You might want to hold off on dinner, Spike,” she yelled, making for the door. “Penny isn’t back and I’m getting worried. Something doesn’t feel right. If I’m not back by eight, go to Rarity’s and arrange a search party.”
Throwing a scarf around her neck, she stepped outside the library just in time to see Evening Script touch down in the snow on the lane. Twilight was already smiling in relief at the sight of the mare, but that died away quickly. The absence of Penny on Eve’s back—and the look on her face—worried her.
“‘eya, Twi,” she greeted anxiously. “That wee idjit didn’t show up here on her own, did she?”
Twilight immediately shook her head. “I thought you’d be escorting her back to the library this evening,” Twilight replied. “She left the hospital on her own?”
The bat pony nodded. “Some moron nurse let her check herself out while somepony was double checking my cuts from the glass.” The fur at the base of Eve’s neck bristled. “Damn it, she’s been all withdrawn since that Silver Script passed back into the afterlife.”
This brought a frown to Twilight’s face. She honestly didn’t know what to think about the pegasus spirit or the implication that she was the same base pony as Penny. But if Penny wanted somewhere to think, wouldn’t she have come back to the library?
No. If she wanted to be away from other ponies, she’d have avoided the library. Come to think of it, Penny seldom ventured out when not on patrols or hunts. Most of Ponyville barely knew she was even there these days.
So where would she go? Surely not the park on the Everfree border. Or would she?
“She might have—”
Anything she might have suggested died in her throat. A violent blast of magic shook all of Ponyville, interrupting her. Ponies from nearby houses stood in their doorways, looking out towards the south.
“I heard the voice of the felled beast beckon, 'Come and see.' And I looked, and beheld a pale mare: her name was Death, and Hades followed in her advent,” Evening Script read aloud, looking at the words in the sky. “The fuck’s that mean?”
Wide eyed, Twilight looked from the sky to Eve. “Penny spoke about her faith with me once,” she whispered. “She recited a chapter of the ‘Book of Revelations’ to me... this sounds so much like it.
“And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, ‘Come and see.’ And I looked, and behold a pale horse; and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.”
Flaring her wings, Evening readied herself to take to the sky. “Sounds like she’s in trouble,” she said, rocketing up and snagging a mass of cloud before returning to the ground. “I assume you know the cloud walking charm?”
Twilight nodded, casting the spell upon herself and stepping onto the cloud. The bat pony didn’t wait; as soon as her passenger was aboard, she pushed the cloud into the sky and soared south.
Passing over the park on the south side of town, they both noticed Silver’s saddlebags abandoned on a bench. There was just the thinnest dusting of snow covering it, as well as a set of hoof prints leading into the forest proper. “She came this way... and went into the Everfree.”
They continued out over the forest for a few minutes. At first, they only encountered the usual gnarled, impenetrable treetops of the Everfree’s chaotic wilds, but as they drew closer to the point of origin of the skywriting, the forest began to change. There were signs of a struggle: fires, uprooted trees, and finally a small clearing created by a small explosion. Further in, treetops blackened, lost their foliage, and then the next thing they knew, they were in above a clearing almost four kilometers across.
The ground beneath them was scorched, covered in black ash. Seemingly any stone caught in the blast took on a glassy, almost obsidian appearance, looking more like bloody claws grasping at the sky. At the center of it all was a large, untouched stone mound.
Shortly before they could land near the mound, the couple was passed by a worrisome pair: Princess Celestia and Luna. The former was clad in golden platemail unlike anything Twilight had seen in her life, while the latter wore silver chainmail and a dark robe.
The royal pair touched down on the other side of the mound, forcing Eve to pick up some speed so they could join the princesses.
What they saw upon landing was absolutely disturbing. Princess Celestia was brandishing a flaming greatsword at Silver Penny. Luna, on the other hoof, was levitating the crescent-moon blade of a scythe millimeters from the marechild’s throat.
If Penny noticed, she hid it well. Instead, she just looked up at the pair, a beaming smile on her face, tail wagging. Purple-green flames danced from the corners of her eyes, her horn a pillar of black flame with bits of alicorn orbiting it. All the while, she just smiled up at them, seeming proud of this wanton destruction.
Twilight’s eyes moved past the three ponies to what looked like a long pink sausage with two pony forelegs. It seemed to be breathing, albeit with much labour involved. The very end of the side with the legs seemed to be bleeding slightly.
Dear Celestia no... It’s alive.
“Merciful pony princesses, please save me from this evil... “ the pitiful creature begged. “Grant me release... I’m... sorry.”
The magical flames dancing around Penny’s eyes flared. “You don’t have my permission to die until you help me drag all of your victims back to Ponyville!” she snarled in a two-tone voice, turning her head just far enough to give the creature a sidelong glare.
“Sweet feckin’ stars...” Evening Script whimpered before throwing up beside Twilight. “Her voice... I’d heard that given enough negative emotion, a pony could cause a dark manifestation, but here it is... Penny, what happened to you?”
Twilight just stared at her niece. She’d never taught Penny about dark magic, or even mentioned that it even existed, out of concern that the filly might be swayed by its power. In retrospect, it was a regrettable decision. If she’d at least discussed the risks of it, Penny might have been better prepared to control herself. She’d have been aware of the risks of emotional spellcasting, especially if her horn had been damaged.
Instead, overcome with hatred and Celestia knows what else, Penny’s negative emotions had taken hold of her magic. Empowered by magic, her dark side mutated and overpowered her cognitive thought. What they saw now wasn’t entirely Penny, but a perversion of the filly.
What was worse was that Penny, who’d always showed restraint when not fighting for her life, was probably watching behind her own eyes in horror. After all, the filly had never showed any inclination towards sadism, and yet overcome with darkness, she’d gone and skinned a living being.
“Silver Penny, adopted daughter of Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, if you wish to yet live, you will stand down,” commanded Princess Celestia. It was barely detectable in her voice, but the slight wobble of her sword’s tip betrayed her reluctance. “Come peacefully and we can discuss what has transpired this day.”
“Should you refuse,” Luna added, pressing the blade of her scythe even tighter against the small pony’s neck. “We will have no choice but to take you into custody by force.”
The creepy smile on Penny’s face faded, and her eyes grew cold. “‘If I wish to yet live?’” she parroted. “‘Custody?’ I do Ponyville a favour and rid it of this... this thing, and you want to arrest me?” Her body momentarily became a cloud of smoke as she passed freely through Luna’s scythe blade in order to gesture aggressively at the living lump of flesh. “What the fuck is wrong with you two? You should be thanking me for ridding Equestria of a self-titled disciple of Tirek.”
“Unlicensed use of dark magic is a serious crime, Silver Penny,” Celestia replied darkly. “Now, it is entirely likely that you are not in control, and that you accidentally tapped into such magic, but until you stop using it and learn to resist the pull of it, you will surrender yourself.”
Laughter filled their ears. “Oh, I am most certainly in control,” Penny purred. “And I don’t think I will surrender.” She vanished in a cloud of black smoke.
“I now have the power to protect ponies from all that would wrong them... all that would threaten their happiness and lie to them...” Her voice was all around them. “Anything or anyone that would harm them... I can protect them from it.”
Ash rose and coalesced right in front of Evening Script and Twilight. In a burst of darkness, Silver Penny appeared, but there was something off about her. The sclera of her eyes had gone black, and her irises looked more green than blue. “Even you.”
She sneered at the bat pony, lifting herself with magic so that she was at eye level with Eve. “I’d have been so much more powerful if you’d just let that Mere take me, Evie...” crooned Penny. “I might even have been a match for the princesses... we all could have protected Equestria as gods together... but you stole that from me.”
With a surge of black from her horn, Penny conjured one of her knives. It floated menacingly, the tip mere nanometers from Evening Script’s throat. “What to do, what to do?” she hummed.
“Silver Penny, stand down!” boomed the princesses in unison. They both approached Penny from behind, brandishing their weapons, but a single warning twitch of the dagger was enough to dissuade them. The message was clear: attack me and I might slip.
“What’s gotten into ya, kid?” Evening Script whispered, holding up a hoof to stay the princesses. “Ye were never like this, even when that Mere was putting ya through Tartarus... y’ain’t even had the stink of one ‘round ya in the hospital. I’m your friend, Penny, remember that.”
Penny’s right eye trembled. Even as black veins began to press out through her fur, the darkness in the eye receded—it even began looking blue once more. There was something other than a cold calculating look in that one eye: fear.
Blue light flickered around the small unicorn’s horn, dancing through the black flame, arcing like lightning from each orbiting piece of alicorn. “Please... help me,” came Silver Penny’s whimper from all directions at once. “There’s so much hate... the collective hate of two ponies is too much for me.”
A tear rolled down Penny’s cheek as the knife trembled in the air, withdrawing from Eve’s neck. “Save me, Aunt Twilight,” she said in a strained voice. “I don’t want to hurt anypony. Hit me with the elements if you have to! Please!”
For a moment, the blue magic overpowered the darkness. A cocoon of blue energy wrapped around Evening Script and Twilight Sparkle. At first, Twilight readied herself to break the spell, but then she felt it: a teleportation spell with a feeling of safety built into it. She didn’t know how she knew, but Penny was sending them back to the library.
The knife jerked violently once, twice, and then flew free of the grasp of black magic. Just as Twilight was sent away, the knife found its mark: Penny’s left eye.
The marechild fell to the ground, rolling and screaming in agony as black blood seeped from her wound. “Princesses, now, while it’s overcome with pain!” Penny screamed. “Bind me!”
~ 17 ~
This is really bad...
Deep within my core, I sit before the shelves of my memories, doing everything I can to fight back the darkness. It’s taking all of my willpower just to keep the darkness away from the books.
I don’t know how I know, but if the blackness gets any of my memories, they’re done for... short of purging them entirely, nothing would ever clean them again. They’ll be tainted with this newfound hatred forevermore.
“How did this happen, Book?” I ask, hugging my memory back-up close to my chest. “This feels different from when I broke back then... Back then, I thought I was in control, but now...”
The little anthropomorphic representation of myself cries into my chest, clutching my fur in her tiny hands. “I don’t know,” she whimpers into my chest. “When you were hypnotized by the lamia, something malignant began bubbling up out of the memories Silver Script left behind. I’d already isolated them, but then the backlash...”
I think back to the memories I hadn’t had a chance to go through. So much knowledge that I could’ve put to use, but even if the elements of harmony somehow work, I don’t think I can trust those memories to not react like this some way down the line.
“It reacted to the fear and hate you felt,” she continues, turning her head to stare out toward the wall showing us the outside world. “That absolute terror in dying and the anger at dying so soon, it resounded with the feelings of fear from her memories of Aqua Regia... and when we thought of pound... it got worse!”
So Silver Script was never able to let Pound Cake go. It’s kind of sad, really. I suppose at some point around the time I let the Soren in me die, I just stopped seeing what happened to the little foal as my cross to bear, but I guess he was always at the back of her mind... festering, driving her.
What other hate came embedded in those memories? Did she know it’d be like this? No, she couldn’t have known. Just look at how she died...
But I guess it’s like they say: negative emotions like fear and hate are like diseases—spreading uncontrollably until they overtake all common sense and decency.
What’s going to happen to me, though? I force out another pulse of waning strength. The dark hatred that began to spread through my mind like a cancer is pressing in hard, struggling to consume me. Will the Elements of Harmony really work?
I don’t actually know whether or not they’ll work or not. I only asked so that, in the event that the darkness can somehow overcome the pain of the ruptured eye, Aunt Twilight wouldn’t need to witness me being put down.
Did I make the right choice? If I somehow make it through this... I’m going to be in the hospital again. If I’m lucky, I might get through this without losing vision in my remaining eye, but this is a severely traumatic injury I inflicted upon myself.
This body might be beyond saving anyway.
“Book, listen,” I whisper, hugging her close. “If the opportunity arises, I’m going to do my best to separate us from our body. I have no idea if it’ll work, but we might not die.”
Book pushes herself away and looks pensive. “In that case,” she replies, biting her thumb nail, “there’s one last thing we can do.”
~ 17 ~
“This isn’t good, sister,” Luna murmured as she held the struggling Silver Penny down with her magic. “The darkness within her is growing, and we won’t be able to merely contain her much longer.”
Both of them knew this to be a gross understatement. Even as the young mare thrashed about beneath ensorcelled chains and a gravity spell, they could see the taint of dark magic spreading across her body. The formerly silver parts of her mane had gone jet black, and her coat too was beginning to darken. Even if her mind had somehow not fully been corrupted, as her earlier attempt to protect her friend indicated, her body would likely be forever altered by the events.
At this point, neither princess was sure that the Elements of Harmony would be able to do much for Penny. It might come to be that the only thing they would be able to do is grant a more merciful ending than either princess could yield.
After a time, Silver Penny ceased her struggles, instead turning her head to regard them both with her remaining eye. The darkness in her sclera had faded, and her blue eye shone with something. Sadness. “Princesses, listen... I don’t have much time left, so there’s something I need to tell you both,” she said between labored breaths. “The Cake foal can be saved... all the petrified ponies can... any cockatrice will do, just wear polarized lenses to protect yourself... get Flutters to ask nicely...”
The small pony coughed and shuddered. Once again, she began to struggle against her bonds. She was now practically foaming at the mouth, screaming incoherently. Some of it sounded to be threats, while others sounded more like a childish tantrum. Was she breaking down?
“We understand, Penny,” Celestia replied softly, wishing to comfort the small pony but knowing better. Tears began to seep from the corners of her eyes, and when she looked to her sister, she too was teary-eyed. “We’ll make sure those ponies are all helped.”
For a moment, Silver Penny seemed to rest once more. “Tell Dad and Mom that... I’m sorry I didn’t get to spend any time with them.”
The finality of those words shook the princesses to their core. Had she given up? Or was she aware of how far gone she was? It seemed almost cruel, but both princesses were reminded that fate was a fickle mistress.
Both princesses watched over Penny until Twilight’s return with the Elements of Harmony. Although she had a few more moments of lucidity, some of her babbling seemed almost nonsensical.
“Princess Luna, will I dream?” she asked during another moment of lucidity.
“I don’t know, Penny,” Luna replied in earnest. “I don’t know what awaits you.”
It was another ten minutes before Twilight Sparkle returned with her friends and Evening Script in tow. There was no butchered lamia for the more sensitive of the group to witness when they arrived, however; Celestia and Luna granted the monster mercy shortly after Penny sent Twilight away.
Still, none of the Element Bearers were particularly enthused to see Penny on the ground, bound in ensorcelled chains and a knife jutting from her eye. Even as Twilight and Eve explained the situation, they had to actively hold back Fluttershy, who evidently wanted nothing more than to help the hurt filly.
“Penny, are you sure you want to be hit with the Elements of Harmony?” Twilight pleaded, adjusting the Element of Magic upon her head. “We have no idea what will happen to you.”
Against all odds, Penny struggled to her hooves, smiling. She wrenched the knife from her eye, and held the handle in her mouth. Despite the gravity field weighing her down and the chains binding her magic, she stood tall and proud. “Do it.” Raising one hoof in salute, she grunted at the bat pony, “Take care of everypony, Evie.”
Begrudgingly, the Element Bearers gathered behind Twilight. Their individual Elements began to glow, and the six close friends began to levitate. White light collected around them. The moment the light reached its brightest, a rainbow arced into the air before slamming down into Silver Penny.
When the light faded, a stone statue sat where the filly once stood. Nopony moved or said anything for a time. They all just gawked, surprised that the Elements hadn’t purified her.
“What the hell?” Evening Script finally shouted, storming up to the statue. She stared into the stone eye in disbelief. “This is a joke, right? Shouldn’t she have just had that darkness stripped from her like it did the Princess Luna?” To everypony’s surprise, the guardsmare began to openly cry. “Was she really beyond help?”
Everypony in the clearing gathered around her, unsure of what to do or say. It just wasn’t fair. Penny had been through so much, and done so much for the ponies of ponyville that most would likely never even know. She protected the borders from monsters, had faced down a demon that would likely have passed through or near the town. She even found the remains of several missing ponies and rid Ponyville of a lamia they hadn’t even known was a problem.
“The Elements of Harmony aren’t perfect, Sergeant Script,” Princess Celestia said softly, wrapping a wing around the bat pony. “We don’t know what was happening behind the scenes. The darkness within her might have spread too far. If that’s the case, containment would be the only option...”
Evening Script shrugged free of Princess Celestia’s feathery embrace and wrapped her forelimbs around the statue. As the shock wore off for Twilight, she too embraced the statue.
“We should have been there for you, Penny,” Twilight whimpered. “We failed you as your friends, family and mentors...”
Much to everypony’s horror, the statue began to crumble in upon itself. It was not as if it had been dealt any significant damage however; it simply could not stand up on its own with the hollow void contained within. The statue that the Elements of Harmony had made of Silver Penny was naught but a hollow shell.
~ 17 ~
Consciousness doesn’t come easily to me. Occasionally, I’ll get a glimpse of something... some starry, gaseous void, but it’s fleeting. I’m too tired.
Every time I get a glimpse of this place, a dark and dreamless sleep rises up to take me. It’s just so hard to stay awake...
Sometimes, I hear whispers—indistinct voices half-imagined at the back of my mind, talking about me in hushed tones. Other times, I swear I hear ponies. I know the voices, but the names elude me.
The next time consciousness visits, I hear a voice. It’s somepony I know. “Hello?” it echoes as if from afar. “Where am I? What is this place?”
“Congratulations, Twilight!” another familiar voice replies. Why is it they feel so close to me? “I knew you could do it!”
“Princess, I don’t understand,” the first voice says in an unsure voice. “What did I do?”
I don’t get to hear any more of the conversation, however. The warm embrace of the void takes me once more. I don’t want to go... let me stay and listen! I beg myself internally, but whatever force sustaining me doesn’t seem inclined to listen.
How long have I been in this state? This enchanted dreamless sleep?
Wait, I think I hear voices again.
“And that’s why I’ve asked you here,” the voice from before says, somehow sounding even farther away. She sounds so familiar, and somehow really compassionate... “If you’re willing to learn, I’m willing to teach you what I know, so you can learn from my mistakes.” She pauses before adding in a wistful tone, “You’ll have the power to make Equestria an even better place, just like she would have.”
“She?” the other pony murmurs. This one I don’t recognize, but there’s something about the way her voice feels... She’s not a bad pony. “Oh... so that was her, huh?” With a shaky breath, she asks, “So how do I start?”
“Starting is easy,” the first voice replies. There’s so much pride in that voice, and I too cannot help but feel proud. “All you have to do is make a friend, and you’ve got seven of them right here!”
It doesn’t surprise me when the voices fade and I’m once again alone in the void. It’s just so strange here, and I don’t know what is happening... It’s like I’m losing great periods of time, but at the same time, no time at all has passed.
Come to think of it... how did I even get here? What is the last thing I remember?
“Take care of everyone, Evie...”
“Tell Dad and Mom that... I’m sorry I didn’t get to spend more time with them.”
Oh, right. Some of Silver Script’s residual trauma and hatred resonated with my magic, and I was overtaken with dark magic. I requested Aunt Twilight hit me with the Elements of Harmony.
Is this what it was like when Discord was a statue? Is that what’s happened to me? No... this feels different. Like I’m somewhere I shouldn’t be.
“I’m telling you, sister,” comes another familiar voice. “There’s something here. Some sort of half-presence. Even Twilight and Cadance have felt the pull to the astral plane, but have found nopony there to ascend.”
“Luna, relax!” comes a reply. “We’re retired now... leave this sort of thing to Twilight to figure out.”
I... what? Luna’s retired? Since when?
Oh... I get it. I’m dreaming! That’s the only way any of this makes sense. That’s all I ever seem to do. I get hurt, and I end up unconscious in the hospital... but now that I know I’m dreaming, I should be waking up any moment... right?
“Hello? I know that somepony is here,” comes that familiar voice yet again. I know it... it’s Twilight! “You don’t need to be afraid to show yourself.”
“That’s right! You’re safe here,” says... Mom!? Mom and Aunt Twilight are here? “Everything will be alright!”
My eyes snap open, both of them, and I find myself in the starry void, fully awake once more. I look down at myself, only to find my body in some weird state of flux. It flickers occasionally, reminding me of Missingno or some sort of visual glitch in a video game.
My perspective seems to jump between two separate heights. Sometimes I’m bipedal with hands... sometimes I’m just a small filly-sized mare. Always, I’m furry and adorable and me.
For once in who knows how long, my mind is clear. There’s a small voice in the back of my head saying not everything is alright, but she’s glad she pulled me together enough to make contact, whatever that means.
“Hello?” I call out. “Mom? Aunt Twilight? Where are you?”
Two motes of bright light appear before me, and in a flash, two alicorns stand before me. At first I’m confused, because they both look so much like Princess Celestia... They’re both tall, broad-winged, with long, ethereal manes... and yet the colors are wrong. One pony’s pink and the other’s purple.
“That voice,” the pink one says thoughtfully. She brushes her wavy pink gold and purple locks out of her face as she looks down at me. “There’s no way it could be...”
I look up into the purple eyes of the pink alicorn, confused. I look to the purple one, and blink. “Mom, Aunt Twilight? Is that you?”
“Silver Penny! It is you!” As my body settles in a momentarily bipedal state, two sets of hooves wrap around me in a hug. “You’re alive!”
The purple one, Aunt Twilight, sobbed into my neck. “I thought we’d killed you,” she murmurs. When she pulls back, she’s teary-eyed and I can see the timeworn look in her eyes. “I thought I’d failed you as a mentor and friend.”
I shake my head and carefully run my fingers through her mane. It’s so soft and real... “You’d never fail me, Aunt Twilight,” I answer, unable to withhold tears of joy as I wrap my arms around their necks. “I just got misplaced is all.”
Per your instructions regarding the shared vision, I have interviewed observational target, Codename ‘Progeny’, and accompanied exorcist Ardent Soul to Tartarus. The following report contains my complete findings on both matters.
Target ‘Progeny’, regardless of being extremely frightened and actively hiding upon my arrival, was nothing if not observant. Despite how visibly shaken she was, she was able to see through my disguise and positively identify my civilian identity.
‘Progeny’ reacted with extreme fear following exposure to the charcoal sketch of Tirek. Her first reaction upon seeing the sketch was to immolate it. Upon finding out that Tirek is real, her next reaction was to retreat under the hospital bed.
Based on this short interaction, I can confirm that her highness did indeed observe a premonition or vision. I was, however, unable to confirm whether or not ‘Progeny’ or Her Royal Highness was the true target of the vision. I am therefore unable to confirm if the vision means that the observational target will encounter Tirek, or if she will encounter a being like him.
Regardless, following the interview, I accompanied Ardent Soul to Tartarus. While the exorcist was depositing a soul gem, I took an inventory of all contained creatures. At this time it is confirmed that Lord Tirek has indeed escaped. Further investigation is required in order to determine how he escaped.
A copy of this correspondence has been forwarded to S.M.I.L.E. and Royal Guard Headquarters. Hopefully, some sort of strategy can be prepared before he makes his move.
Agent Sweetie Drops
~ Interlude 2 ~
“Sergeant Script,” Ardent Soul asked, adjusting his cloak to shield himself from the chill winds. “Are you sure you wish to be here for the chronomagical scan? As her friend, it won’t be an easy thing for you to watch.”
The disheveled bat pony to his left growled and looked away. “I gotta know,” she slurred. “I gotta know she didn’t die for nothin’. That she had no other choice but to become that...”
With a shiver, the bat pony shoved past him to stand by the bench where Penny’s bags had been left. Her eyes were red, and it was clear to the stallion that she’d not slept for days—not that he could blame her, given her relationship with Silver Penny. He didn’t know what she was thinking, but somehow he knew she wouldn’t fare well if the outcome of the chronomagical scan was unfavorable.
Exhaling a thick cloud of vapour, Ardent began his spell. All color drained from space around them, taking on an odd sepia tone. Echoes of the past began to materialize in the form of shadows. They’d come and go, flickering in and out of existence as he filtered out the irrelevant echoes.
Eventually, only the silhouette of a small unicorn lying on the bench remained. It resolved into a transparent image of Silver Penny resolved. She looked so lost, like a toy without purpose.
“I feel bad for the little one,” he says, watching Penny’s afterimage. “To end up in the same place as a trauma that once broke her, in search of solace and quiet. Fate is truly a twisted mistress.”
Eve could only nod in response. She’d read the report on the Pound Cake incident, how Penny had been the only pony to see the foal go off into the Everfree, and how Penny had been ignored due to her fracturing psyche. It did little to make her feel better.
They watched as Penny followed the phantom call, making her way into the woods in a trance. The lamia at the treeline was massive. At a minimum, it was a Class 1 Aberration, for lamias seldom grew much larger than a stallion.
Following in her hoofsteps, they made their way into the Everfree Forest, keeping an eye on both specters of the past. To see Penny following like a puppet unnerved Evening Script. The filly was no simpleton, yet the glazed look in her eyes spoke volumes about the unusual powers of the creature.
Once the small pony broke the hypnotic spell she was under, all hell broke loose. Although the lamia was clearly sapient, the thing was clearly mad. It looked upon Penny’s weapons as though they were food...
The exorcist’s jaw droped after the creature rose following the three magical knives pushed down its throat. “I don’t believe it,” he muttered. The playback looped around and replayed, his eyes darting from the lamia to Penny. “She ate the magic in those knives like Lord Tirek was said to do to ponies.”
“How can you tell?” Eve asked, keeping close to Penny’s specter. “Do you actually feel the magic?”
Ardent shook his head as the playback looped again. “Watch Silver Penny’s horn,” he said quietly. “She likely tried to retrieve those three knives with a summoning spell, only for the spell to backfire. I had time to examine the knives before the exorcism, and they’re magical constructs imbued with an indestructibility enchantment.”
The two watched in horror as the battle progressed. Hearing the lamia claim to be a disciple of Tirek put the pair in negative spirits. By now it was clear that nothing short of dark or incredibly destructive magic could overpower the creature.
Once Penny began creating a clear path with flames or debris to either side, Eve frowned. “What is she doing?” Eve asked aloud as Penny stood there, preparing an unknown spell. “Why isn’t she trying to escape?”
“She knew that no matter what she does, it would hunt her,” he answered softly. “It had her scent, and she didn’t want to endanger others by leading it to them, so she made her final stand.”
They watched in horror as she launched her hammer into the spell, only for it to backfire violently. Seeing Penny’s horn shatter broke Eve’s heart, but her eyes were on the hammer. Even after Penny’s horn detonated, the hammer stayed suspended in the air for a moment, trembling and growing white-hot before falling to the ground and bouncing into the debris nearby.
Evening Script broke away from Argent to follow the path of the hammer. It hadn’t gone far, but what once remained of Penny’s trusty hammer was pitiful. The leather strap that wrapped the handle of the weapon had burned away to nothing, while one of the striking faces had melted.
Looking at the weapon of her fallen friend, she knew what she would have to do. It was an old tradition, but a fitting one. Unable to bury a body, bringing the family of a fallen warrior their weapon was the next best thing.
“You finish your scan, Ardent,” she said, walking from the bushes with the handle of the hammer in her mouth. “I seen enough to know what I gotta do.”
The stallion gave her a sad smile and nodded. “A fitting tribute,” he replied. Looking back to the fallen unicorn, watching the lamia scoop her up, he sighed. “Sleep well, little warrior. May you find peace in the next world.”
~ Interlude 2 ~
Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor,
We regret to inform you that your daughter, Silver Penny, has died from complications following combat with a Class 3 Aberration. The specifics of this incident can be requisitioned in Exorcist Corps chronomagical report 2002-2-2-17A. Following a Category 7 Awakening, Silver Penny requested that she be purified with the Elements of Harmony, but upon being sealed in a statue, the statue collapsed in on itself. Her spirit has not appeared in the afterlife at this time, but no amount of scrying has been able to provide evidence that she is anything but deceased.
Cadance, Shining, we are so terribly sorry that this happened. We were with her during her last moments, and up until the end, she put others before herself. You would truly be proud of her. In her final moments, she revealed a means to cure ponies petrified by cockatrices. Finally, she asked that we tell you both that she was sorry that she couldn’t spend any time with you.
Know that for her deeds, Silver Penny will be honored posthumously with the Medal of Harmony and canonized as a hero of Equestria. As such, she will be granted a state funeral.
If either of you need anything, you need only ask. We are here for you both, always.
Still wrapped in their warm embrace, I can’t help but wonder what sort of place this is. Mom was already an alicorn, but Aunt Twilight... she was a unicorn before I was hit with the elements, yet this development somehow doesn’t surprise me. How long has passed?
“I don’t understand, though,” I whisper. “Where am I? What is this place?”
The alicorn pair shares a look. Seemingly, without ever sharing words, they are debating how much they should tell me. After a while, Cadance nods to Twilight.
“This is the Astral Plane,” Twilight says softly, taking a step back. With a sweep of one of her broad, purple wings, a pathway forms through the cloudy void. Several windows appear alongside the path. “It’s a place ponies come when they ascend, becoming something more.”
Cadance nods. “When I was a filly, I came here after defeating an enchantress named Prismia,” she explains. A window appears between them, showing a small pegasus pony standing in this same void with Princess Celestia. “Celestia was here to guide me and help me to my ascension.”
The image shifts, and shows Twilight being struck by the Elements of Harmony. She too, is joined by Princess Celestia in this ‘Astral Realm’. That seems to be a common thread between the two: Princess Celestia.
So if I’m here to ‘ascend’, why isn’t Celestia here? Am I not worthy of her presence? No, that’s not it, I decide as my form flickers between the bipedal and quadrupedal forms.
“Luna, relax!” How long ago had I heard that? Weeks? Months? Years? “We’re retired now... Leave this sort of thing to Twilight to figure out.”
That’s right; they’re retired. My eyes flick back to Twilight. She’s wearing a crown and a gilded peytral, and she looks so much older. And she’s an alicorn!
That’s when it hits me. I’ve been sleeping here for a long time. Countless years have passed, maybe even decades. Twilight’s not just an alicorn; she’s a princess—how could she not be? Celestia and Luna have retired, too. Alicorns can live for thousands of years but...
“How long have I been gone?” I ask, looking down at my own distorted form. Why isn’t it consistent? Sometimes I’m a pony and sometimes I’m only half... “There have been times where I’ve heard things, like the Princesses Celestia and Luna being retired, or Aunt Twilight taking a pony under her apparently not so metaphorical wing.”
The pair share a look, before Mom moves to her side to drape a wing over my shoulders. Once again, my shifts in form pause, locking me in the bipedal state. “It’s been twenty five years, Penny.”
“Is that so,” I mutter reflexively. So that would probably put Dad in his fifties now. He’s still got a good fifty left. Maybe even more. “So... when I return to Equestria, am I going to be an alicorn like both of you?”
This time, it’s Twilight that speaks up. “That I don’t know.” She looks me up and down once, before glancing at the array of windows that cropped up along the pathway. “Cadance and I still both had physical bodies when we ascended. Yours... crumbled after being sealed.” With a sad smile, she adds, “It’s a miracle you’re here at all.”
Pushing away from Mom, I move to look at some of the windows. Almost all of them show events from my life: learning from Twilight, training with the guard, my fight with the demon, even talking to Evening Script under the moonlight. But there are a number of panes that I don’t remember.
As I stare at an aquamarine unicorn and a female biped at a cafe in Ponyville—the name of the species evades me—a feeling of loss fills my belly. I don’t see myself anywhere in the image. Worse, I don’t remember any of this.
I wander to another nearby window, showing the aquamarine unicorn bloodied and on the ground, looking up at Aunt Twilight. Despite the condition she’s in, the victorious look on her face tells me that she’d willingly drive the piece of crystal she’s levitating into the back of my aunt’s neck.
More and more, I find images I don’t remember. Eventually, ponies vanish entirely from the windows, being filled with more of the bipeds. Tears rim my eyes as I reach out and touch a window with a family of the bipeds gathered. Clearly it’s some kind of wedding, but I feel next to nothing when I look at any of them—just loss.
Twilight and Cadance evidently notice my distress. They rush over to join me as I stare at the window. “They look so happy, Penny,” Cadance says, looking at it. “Was that your family before becoming a pony?”
Becoming a pony?
“I... I don’t remember any of these ponies... I don’t know their race at all,” I whisper quietly. Alarm fills my core. “I don’t... why don’t I remember anything before meeting you and Dad in that park?”
Both alicorns gasp and recoil in surprise. Although Twilight looks concerned, I can see in her eyes that her mind is already thinking it over. Cadance, on the other hoof, pities me.
Before either can say anything, however, a small mote of light appears before me. It’s very dim, and seems to flicker in the same glitched out manner I do. I reach out a hand, and it lands in my palm, pulsing gently.
“Sorry, I tried to get as much of your memories together as I could, but I don’t think everything made it with us back when you ejected us from your body,” it says in a familiar voice. “I took a lot of damage when we ditched, and if I haven’t found everything by now, those memories are probably lost...”
Wait a second...
“Book? Is that you?” I ask incredulously. “If you had to pull me back together, wouldn’t it have been better to just become the primary consciousness that way?”
She dims slightly. “I don’t know if you noticed, but we’re both broken,” she says in a trembling voice. “Look at yourself, and you might notice you’re flickering between my shape and yours... Since you have all the form data, you were more likely to manifest if you somehow returned... I felt it’d be better to put everything I found into you... like I’m supposed to, but...”
“You’re all burned out,” I finish for her, cradling her softly in my cupped hands. She worked tirelessly for 25 years just to put my mind back together, but she was never meant to do that... “We’re both incomplete, and you’ve got nothing left to give.”
A solemn silence fills the void around me. Although Twilight knew about my communion with Book, I don’t think Cadance ever really knew about the memory imprint. If she’d been a pegasus before, she might not even know she has such a redundancy. Even so, Mom is the most empathetic pony I know. She drapes a wing over my shoulder.
“Rest, Book—no, Memnosyne.” That was the name she wanted to go by... The least I can do is honor that in the end. I don’t know what spurs my next action forth, but with great care, I pull the dimming light forward and clasp her to my breast. Warmth fills my chest and spreads through my entire body. When I pull my hands away, the light is gone. “I’m still here, and you are gone, but I remember you, so you are eternal.”
Looking down at my hands, the flickering has gone. I no longer look like a glitch in the system, whatever that means; my form is solid and unwavering: both Penny and Memnosyne. I won’t ever be the same again, but I’m ready to let it all out. I’m ready to let go.
Wrapping my arms around Mom’s neck, I cry. For what feels like a short eternity, I do nothing but weep. Neither can do more than watch or comfort me, and for some reason, I’m more than happy with that.
“How do I get out of here, Mom?” I ask in a tired tone, I murmur into her silky soft fur. “I want to go home.”
Putting her neck down on my shoulder, Mom looks to Twilight and asks, “How do we get her home, Twilight?”
My aunt tilts her head in thought. “We both left when the magics of this place completed our ascension to alicornhood, but Penny ended up here accidentally. I’m not entirely sure she was ever supposed to end up here, but...” She raises a fetlock to touch her chin. “If she goes with either of us, she should be fine.”
Tiredly, I hug Mom tighter. “Take me home to the paradise city where the crystals are clean and the mares are pretty...” I murmur, feeling my consciousness beginning to dip toward true sleep. “Oh won’t you please take me home.”
A bright white light envelops me, quickly followed by the darkness of sleep.
~ 18 ~
When I wake, there’s no standard trope of not knowing where I am, or thoughts that the ceiling is unfamiliar. Somehow, I just know that I’m safe, that I’m in a guest room somewhere in the castle in the Crystal Empire. There’s lingering memories of being brought here by Mom, and her telling somepony to see to it that I get whatever I need.
Pushing myself into a seated position is interesting to say the least. It’s not because my only remaining memories are of living as a quadruped, or the fact that I’m used to sleeping on my belly. No, it’s because the first thing I notice upon sitting up is the shift of weight on my chest.
My teats haven’t just migrated... They’ve grown considerably. Dusted with a thin coat of silver fur, they definitely look to be more than a handful... but why? Maybe ‘cause I’m an adult, duh. Bipeds have their mammaries on their chests because they carry their young around in their arms.
Folding my arms beneath my new bust, I can’t help but blush. Why are they so big? My arms struggle to be seen past them, but is that because of their resting position, or them being squeezed together? I know I’m not pregnant, and Memnosyne never showed much in the cleavage department.
I gently slap myself on the cheeks in order help wake myself up, and then examine my hands. They have the same amount of fur as my breasts and upper body, but my nails seem like they’re made of the same material as a horn. Shouldn’t they be keratinous like my hooves?
Speaking of hooves, I flex my hind legs. Yup, those still feel the same. At the same time, my hips feel different, wider—maybe even stronger. As I flex, however, it feels more like the structure might have changed somewhat. For a bipedal build, probably. Tail’s still present, thankfully. I’d miss that.
With a quick kick of my left leg, the covers fly off of me completely. Sure enough, the fur on my legs is far thicker than my upper body, but what’s noticeable is that on the outsides of my thighs, my cutie mark is still present. The thick fur terminates evenly at my hips, giving way to the thinner fur... and then there’s the bare cleft of my vulva. Not exploring that right now.
Turning my attention to the rest of the room, I’m kinda blown by the sheer size of the room. The walls, ceiling and floor of the room are constructed from a translucent blue crystal material. There’s a large double door inset on the wall at the foot of the bed, while there’s a glass door opening onto some sort of balcony to my right. No other ways in or out. To my left, there’s a vanity with a mirror. Even a few dressers beside it. Doubt there’s anything in it that’d fit me, but the mirror definitely interests me.
Without giving the movement much thought, I swing my legs over the side of the bed and slide down onto my hooves. It’s a little awkward, but I’m able to stand upright. I kinda have to bend my knees to properly distribute my weight, but I can stand.
Walking, on the other hoof, is weird. I feel like I should be walking completely upright, but the equilibrium is kind of weird. I might need to construct some sort of walking stick until I can get a proper rhythm down. In a way, it’s like walking when your legs are asleep. Maybe ask somepony for some support for the time being.
It’s weird when I finally get to the vanity. I can tell that this is the sort a full-grown pony would use, rather than a depraved midget like I was. Yet when I look in the mirror, I’m not looking at the top of my head; I’m staring myself in the eye.
My reflection is kinda weird, though. My muzzle’s smaller, although still clearly equine. My ears are more out to the side, and my horn is longer. This is so freaky... I rub a hand up the back of my neck, and my mane stops at the base of my skull.
Other than that, I’m still me. Same bright blue eyes, white mane with blue stripes, and silver skin and fur. Definitely less mass than a fully grown pony though. My lips might be a bit fuller, but I’m pretty scrawny looking. Other than that, I’d say I’m still damn sexy.
Hmm, I can’t remember the last time I had a nice long soak in a bath. There were the sponge-baths in the hospital, but actually sitting in a bathtub with hot water, just letting my muscles melt? Twenty-five years too long.
But at the same time, there’s this desire to cover up. It’s kinda chilly with my breasts on display and this thin upper body fur. Also, with the orientation of my lower body, my muff is right out there in the open with nothing hiding it.
Instead of making my way straight to the door, I move over to one of the chests of drawers. The first two drawers don’t yield anything, but in the bottom one, I find a very big, fluffy white towel. It’s more than enough to cover my breasts and waist, so that’s what I do; I wrap it around my midsection.
I almost want to take one of the bedsheets and make a cloak in order to conserve extra heat and maybe cover myself up more. Dunno who all Mom’s told about me yet, and for all I know, she’s planning a surprise for Dad.
Nah, I’m good. I think I can still cast magic. If push comes to shove, I can probably just use a quick illusion spell to alter my colors. Easy peasy.
The walk from the chest of drawers to the door is thankfully a bit steadier. No longer am I walking like both my legs are asleep, but instead, like I’m very tired. That’s fine; I can work with a tired gait.
Opening the door is actually a bit problematic. I don’t have the strength of an earth or crystal pony, and this door feels like it was built to be opened by someone with the muscle mass of a fully-grown pony. My problem is that I’m effectively bipedal foal with wide hips and big tits, for all the muscle mass I have.
Magic’s definitely an option, but I want time to center myself before I fuck around with that. Even passively, I can tell there’s magic flooding into me. My magic reserves are still at least as deep as they were; and if I don’t take caution, I might blast the door off is hinges, or hit someone.
Rapping on the door with the back of my fist, I say, “Hello, is somepony there?”
A crystal pony mare, complete with crystalline regalia, pushes the door open. I’m kind of surprised to pick up on the same anonymity enchantment I’d seen on guard armor in Canterlot without actively exploring the magic in the area. With it right in front of me, I can feel it there.
“Is there a problem, Miss Penny?” the mare asks.
I smile at her, taking pleasure in being at eye level with other adults again. She flinches slightly, but it’s not until idly lick my teeth that it occurs to me that I have canines again. Again?
“Yeah, I noticed there’s no bathroom in this suite, and after twenty-five years in a magical sleep, I’d kinda like to have a soak, y’know?” I say. Idly, I cough into my hand, hoping to distract from the little spook I gave her. “Is there some sort of guest bathroom I can use? Hell, I’ll take a stall in your barracks if it means hot water.”
That actually elicits a giggle from the mare. “Relax, ma’am,” she answers in an easygoing tone. “Princess Cadance instructed me to help you in whatever way I could, and no VIP will be using the barrack block showers on Dusty Jade’s watch.” She backs up enough to let me exit through the gap in the door, and then pulls it shut behind us. “Just follow me.”
~ 18 ~
In the private dining room of the royal family, the eldest living daughter sat pondering her options. Now that she was of age, Etherea was expected to start taking on diplomatic duties on behalf of the Crystal Empire. Meeting beings of all kinds at conferences, and learning about other races firsthoof, had a certain appeal to the inquisitive alicorn.
At the same time, though, she wasn’t sure that she was ready for such a commitment. She had all of her friends here in the Empire, and her talent’s link to dreams already put a heavy yoke on her withers. She would eventually be expected to take over for Luna. The bat pony elders had already expressed their wishes to train her in their arts.
Prodding her salad lunch with a silver fork, she glanced at her mother’s spot at the table. Princess Cadance had simply up and left in a flash of magic in the middle of breakfast. One moment, mother was eating poached eggs and toast, and then the next, she was gone.
It was quite worrying. Usually, her mother would politely excuse herself, as she had tried to instill in her own daughters. The look of shock on her face before she took off—without even telling father why, no less—was terrifying.
Was there some sort of major incident that she was responding to right now? There were rumors of a roaming band of dragons violating the Treaty of the Six—the nonaggression pact between the ponies, dragons, changelings, hippogriffs, griffons, and yaks—by hitting gem caravans between the Crystal Empire and Equestria. Was this related?
Her head dropped as she stared at her meal, a curtain of blue falling across her vision. Even at twenty-four, she worried whether or not she was ready to deal with that sort of thing. No, she wasn’t a fighter; if there was encroachment on Crystal Empire sovereignty, it would be her father to deal with it.
Turning her thoughts to the arrangements she’d made with Sea Breeze and the rest of her friends, she pondered what to do. They’d all planned to go visit a traveling circus that was in town for the afternoon. At the same time, she knew that her status granted additional responsibility, and she should be prepared to assume her princessly roles in a moment of emergency.
“Oh! There you are, Etherea!” came her mother’s exclamation. She looked up and found her mother standing in the dining hall doorway. Abandoning her food, Etherea rushed over to greet her mother. Cadance of course welcomed her daughter with an open wing. “Is Flurry around too?”
Etherea cringed at the mention of her younger sister before shaking her head. “I think she said she was going out with that goth colt-toy of hers,” she grumbled as she stepped back. “Probably defiling a crypt or something spooky like that.”
Princess Cadance heaved a sigh and looked away. “You know she’s just going through her rebellious phase,” she replied. “Must you think so ill of her?”
Etherea wanted to say that she wished Flurry Heart was more like their deceased half-sister. If Flurry showed even the slightest bit of interest in learning or in helping others, it would be so much easier to get along with her. She’d never voice that to her mother, though. As open as the family was, neither Mother or Father liked getting too deep into discussions of Silver Penny, and she didn’t feel it was her place to bring hurt.
“I guess I’ll just have to tell her later,” Mother said dejectedly. Looking back to Etherea, she smiled with a twinkle of excitement in her eyes before stepping out the door. “Don’t make any plans for dinner tonight, dear; I have a special guest I want everypony to meet.”
That perked the young alicorn’s ears. A special guest was joining them at the evening meal? Not family, she quickly concluded as she returned to her meal; if Princess Twilight, or Grandfather Light and Grandmother Velvet were to visit, there wouldn’t be any need for the element of surprise. Likewise, her grandparents on her mother’s side were both deceased.
She quickly consumed her salad, pondering who it was. She’d surely have heard word from friends in the palace staff if there were diplomats about. Who, then?
Her stomach sank as the next thought occurred to her. If not a diplomat, or family, that left only one option that made sense. Her mother was being pressured by the nobility into having her meet a suitor again.
There was nothing else to be done; she would need to see to Sea Breeze personally, excusing herself from the day’s arranged adventure. If Mother and Father were having her meet suitors, the least she could do is not half-flank it like Flurry might. A bath was in order too, and then she’d ask her hoofmaiden to help her prepare.
With a mischievous smile another thought occurred to her: if she were to go incognito, she could learn a bit about whomever the guest was in an informal manner. After all, she was no stranger to using a transformation spell taught to her by one of her changeling friends and some persuasion to find out things her mom didn’t want her to know.
~ 18 ~
Being escorted through the halls by Dusty Jade is an interesting experience. There are guards posted at every hallway juncture in this part of the castle, all different shapes and sizes. In addition to the crystal ponies like Jade, there are your standard array of Equestrian ponies, griffons, and strange brightly colored insectoids. These last ones are difficult not to gawk at.
I tend to draw just as many curious glances, and it’s not hard to see why. I’m nothing if not a curiosity: not quite unicorn, not quite minotaur, frail, but with a strange presence about her. One thing I notice most, however, is a lack of fear. As servants to strong mages, that makes sense.
“Ah, so you noticed the security,” Jade comments not long after we exit. “Ever since somepony broke into the castle to nick Princess Twilight’s crown, Prince Shining Armor overhauled guard training here in the Empire; he doubled it after Princess Cadance had her first daughter.”
First daughter... meaning I have at least two siblings now... I file that away for the moment, grunting an affirmative. Instead, I just idly marvel at the architecture. It looks almost naturally grown in places, but in others it’s positively level and smooth. Is that the natural magics of the Crystal Ponies at work? Or did King Sombra do so during his reign? Either way, it’s a beautiful sight.
Something about this bluish purple stone really calls out to me. Like it’s a superconductor for magic. What sort of enchantments could it hold—or already be holding? If I could get a sample for experimentation later...
“I’m not asking because you’re a crystal pony, and having said that, I realize that I sound like a racist for having to state that... Do you happen to know what kind of crystal this is?” I ask, unable to withhold the curiosity bubbling up in my stomach. “I’ve never seen anything like it, but I can tell even passively that it’s gotta be a useful enchanting material.”
Have I always been this inquisitive? Sure, I’ve been adventurous and a tinkerer, willing to put myself on the line so others don’t have to, but... beyond the failed railgun spell, I’ve never felt so driven to create new enchantments or spells. It’s inspiring.
“Imperial Corundum,” she answers without a hint of emotion; it’s probably a question she’s been some variant of several times over the years. She probably has a script and everything. “One of the most magically conductive materials this side of the world, and only a step removed from being Imperial Sapphires. Only grows in the gem farms here in the Crystal Empire”
Another detail to file away, I think to myself as we stop before a set of large double doors. I know she said I was going to the VIP baths, but anything that requires large double doors seems a bit excessive. I was just hoping for something like a clawfoot tub like the one back at Aunt Twilight’s library.
As Dusty pushes the door open, I can’t help but gawk at the room. It seems more like an indoor pool with accompanying showers. It’s like some kind of spa... There’s no privacy here at all!
“Welcome to the real VIP baths, Miss Penny,” she says proudly, giving a flourish as she leads me inside. “Castle guests normally have access to just the guest baths, but that includes those nosy nobles that stay from time to time. Your mother won’t want the nobility knowing about you before your father or sisters.”
Did Mom tell her who I was? It makes me stop and really think. If she needed to be absolutely sure that I would be cared for, she might divulge that information to a trusted guard... but at the same time, something feels off.
“If you plan on ensuring your mother gets to surprise your sisters and father, make sure to fully cover that cutie mark,” she says with a laugh, as though she’s been reading my face. “Not all of the guards will recognize it, but a few of us were around when your remains and belongings were interred in the family crypt. We saw the mark engraved on the casket.” With that, the guardsmare pulls the door shut, leaving me free to stew in my questions and a nice hot bath.
With a sigh, I totter over to one shower stall with a detachable head and a full length mirror. I hardly even give it much thought as I reflexively channel magic through my horn and grab the shower-head as my left hand turns the shower to hot.
I just levitate that showerhead above me as the near boiling water cascades down my body. The heat seeps into my coat and muscles as I stand there. It’s hard to suppress the contented moan that rises out of my throat, but I still manage a soft, “Oh yes...”
Somepony had left unopened bottles of mane and tail, and coat shampoos in a nearby nook, and although I feel a bit guilty about opening somepony’s new shampoo, I need to use something. With trepidation, I stretch out my hand reaching for the first shampoo bottle, and a blue spell-aura wraps around it... At first, I’m surprised to watch it float straight to my hand, but as I stare at my hand, and see the corresponding corona around it.
So I can use magic this way, I reflect as I pour a gob of shampoo into my hand. I step back as I massage the shampoo into my mane, before later moving onto my tail. My aetheric system has definitely changed... subconscious response to thought... new manifestation of personal magic? I will definitely need to be more cautious for a while. Don’t think of explosions, for fuck sake.
As I move on to my tail, my thoughts begin to drift back toward Memnosyne. It’s weird thinking of her with that name, but she gave her last to ensure I could live. It fills my chest with pain like none I’ve never felt before. An important part of me—a friend, confidant, and partner—is gone.
Sure, I could try and build up my next memory engram and allow it to become its own being like I did Memnosyne, but... it wouldn’t be the same. It’d never be like her. She was special. There will be no replacing her; it would be an insult to her... her memory.
Before I realize what’s happened, I’m on the floor sobbing and stroking my tail. The shampoo has long since rinsed clean, but my account for time seems lacking. I’m just kneeling on the floor, stroking my tail and hugging it close.
I could’ve lain here for minutes or hours... I think Dusty Jade would have checked up on me after the first hour, though... Normally, I’d be concerned about losing time, but I have this gut feeling. If my body was literally stitched back together by the fabric of reality between planes, there’s bound to be some... quirks. I just need some time to relax and smooth my psyche out.
Pushing myself back up, I levitate the first shampoo bottle back to the alcove. I don’t immediately reach for other. Instead, I tilt my head up to let the hot water cascade down my face. The tears that remain around my eyes are washed away, but my eyes feel puffy. Go figure, I cry and they feel puffy, right?
It occurs to me as I’m reaching for the coat shampoo that now would be a good opportunity to center myself... to get a feel for changes in my system while I cleanse myself. I’m alone, and I’m in a fairly safe place, surrounded by water in the event of fire.
Smoothing shampoo into my coat, I begin with a breathing exercise, breathing in through my nose, and out through my mouth. Ambient magic flows in through my horn, and also through my fingertips, only to be expelled as a cloud of personal magic exactly as it came in.
As I’d done so many times in the past, I reach out, beyond the door as far as my magic can take me. There’s easily over a hundred beings in just the area of the castle. At first, it’s hard to make out the individual shapes, and worse, get a feel for everything magically without getting too intrusive. But as these beings interact with the natural magics around them, I begin to get a feel for many of them.
Unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies are the easiest to pick out, having been what I’ve been exposed to the most in my life, and then the griffons aren’t too hard to pick up on either. The crystal ponies almost seem to blend in with the castle itself, magnifying the natural magics.
Then there are the odd insectile beings. There’s a feeling about them that causes the back of my mind to prickle with unease. What are they? I know I felt something like them before, but where?
Inside what I can only assume to be the throne room, I feel a great wellspring of power... and with just a caress of magic, and the feeling of love as my magic intermingles, I know it’s Mom. That would make the second brightest point with her... Yes, that’s Dad. There’s a certain resonance, him being a part of me.
But that’s not what catches my interest. It’s the great wellspring of magic that is drawing closer to me that catches my inner eye. It’s unmistakably moving right for me and it feels similar to Mom. But as it stops outside the door, lingering near Dusty before casting it casts a spell. Even with the muted murmur of conversation and laughter on the other side of the door, this doesn’t feel right.
I know what those bug ponies are now, at least... I’ve felt magic like what that pony is using before. I felt it in the alley when that infiltrator took Evening’s shape... Those bug ponies are changelings, and this source of power has to be a changeling queen. Chrysalis? If it’s a queen, then... She wants revenge for the one I killed in Canterlot so long ago... she must.
I pull my cloud of magic back in through my hands and begin casting some minor illusions. My coat goes black, while my mane going a nice bronze color. For all the good it’ll do me, I hide my horn by projecting the illusion of skin. Finally, I spread the black across my cutie mark until by all appearances, my thighs are perfectly uniform.
It’s only a simple glamour that any spellcaster worth their horn would pick up on if they looked hard enough, but I’m not ready for a fight. If I ground myself, hide my fear, and fake my way, I might... But if they transformed in front of Dusty, then...
The door cracks open, and I quickly return to scrubbing shampoo into my coat. Even though my back is turned to the door, I see the pony that enters: a soft-yellow pegasus with a soft blue mane. She even has a cutie mark that depicts a warm glow emerging from behind pastel clouds. How much more pegasus can you get?
As soon as she steps in, her eyes are on me. There’s a look of shock as she takes in my form. Maybe she didn’t expect a biped? Or maybe she can feel my own growing magical presence. There’s curiosity in those eyes, too.
With a deep breath, I look over my shoulder and pretend I’ve just noticed her. “Oh, hello!” I greet her in a soft voice, channeling my inner Fluttershy. Just smile and flutter your eyelashes, Penny. “I didn’t see you there.”
She snaps out of her apparent stupor and returns my smile. “I’ve never seen you around the castle before,” she replies, stepping up beside me. Much to my amusement, the mare offers a hoof. Her eyes shift to the side slightly as she speaks again. “My name is Cloudy Skies, and I am Princess Etherea’s... hoofmaiden.”
Uh-huh, I think to myself as I shake her hoof with one sudsy hand. Not a very convincing lie. While covering my chest with my free arm, a flush creeps across my cheeks. Changeling Queen or no, I'm naked in front of another sapient. I'm used to solo bathing, even if ponies don't mind the whole communal bathing thing.
“I am Arcana Noire,” I reply, quickly deciding that lies of omission and vagueness should probably be my best course of action. If this is somehow not a changeling here hoping to kill me, and an ally of my mother, I can apologize and clarify my statements. Besides, I was never all that great of a liar. “I was brought here by Her Highness, Princess Cadance after being away from Equestria for many years. I... am not very used to this new form, and I lack knowledge of recent history, so I’m being kept from the sight of those who might take advantage of me.”
I fully expect her eyes to light up upon hearing that, and in that sense I’m not disappointed. After all, what sort of manipulator wouldn’t light up upon being told you’re vulnerable and could be taken advantage of? But this isn’t like that. If anything, the look in this mare’s eyes is like Aunt Twilight when you show interest in something she’s been working on. A genuine desire to share knowledge.
I swear on my Mom, I even hear her squee before she speaks. “When did you leave Equestria?” she asks in a tone that speaks of a genuine desire to help. “Where did you go?”
With a smirk, I answer, “Let me put it this way, before I left to wander beyond the veil of the world, Princess Twilight was still just a unicorn.” Dangling a little hint, I quickly add, “I think she had a student or charge with her in Ponyville.”
Her expression visibly drops upon hearing this, although she does her best to quickly hide that fact. Odd, why would mention of her ‘student’ upset a supposed hoofmaiden?
“Yes, I think I can tell you most of the important pieces since then,” she says in a hitching tone. Her eyes flick to the mirror, seemingly locked on my back. “Would you like assistance getting your back? I cannot imagine it is easy to reach like that.”
I follow her gaze over my shoulder, and there, peeking from behind my mane, are two equal-sized patches of silver. They’re just beneath my shoulder-blades, and would probably stick out even on my normal coat color. Drat, if I knew about those discolorations, I could’ve hidden them!
“Um, I guess,” I reply, slightly uncomfortable. Still, the pony way sticks in my mind. It’s not intimate; it’s just friendly. And it will give me a better opportunity to gauge whether she means harm. “I’m not really used to bathing with others, but I don’t mind.”
