Bits & Bobbles

by Javarod

First published

Things likely never to be finishes

Incomplete ideas, unfinished stories, fevered rants and more. Stuff never to be polished let alone finished.

G - X, nothing truly hardcore, although some topics may not be for the young or sensitive.

Author notes will provide warnings and possibly info about the piece.

Big Mac's Herd

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Big Mac sat there in an overstuffed chair large enough for two ponies… or one of him. Looking at his hooves nervously, he licked his lips as he looked at the Prince and Princess sitting across from him on a loveseat. Clearing his throat, he began, “I met a mare, a lovely mare. Weren’t right what was done to bring us together the first time. This time though, we realized that while what was done was wrong, we do like each other.”

Cadance and Shining Armor smiled nervously as they listened, waiting for him to go on.

“She’s pretty, and friendly, and great with children, and pretty, and has a lovely voice, and is smart and pretty,” taking a deep breath, “an’ I really like her.”

Cadance giggled and smiled, “You found the one, didn’t you? I am jealous, but as the Princess of Love, I” she looked at her husband, “we need to put our feelings aside and think of yours.”

With a nod, Shining continued, “I suppose,” he said with a sigh, “that this is good bye? Just friends now?”

The big stallion shook his head, “Umm, she said she’d be willin’ to share.”

He might have had more to say, but in a very non-royal manner, the prince and princess rushed from their seat, pulling him to the floor while they nuzzled him, “You really found a keeper? She’ll let us borrow you from time to time?”

Mac smiled happily as he returned their affection, “Eeyup… She wants to meet you though. An’ she said she might like to get to know you better,” he said with a nervous smile.

Shining chuckles, and the princess squealed happily, “Oh, that’s wonderful. What’s her name? What’s she do?” The questions continued, the prince mostly just listening, wise enough not to interrupt his wife.

It was late though, he’d had to wait for the girls to go to bed before he could have time with his partners. They had been surprised when he’d asked to join them to the Crystal Empire. There was a celebration in honor of Spike the Brave, and the girls were all invited, but Spike was of course the guest of honor. Shining was the first of the pair to fall asleep, cutely snuggling up to the larger stallion, while his wife lay against his other side. Looking at the two men in her life, she teleported a blanket in to cover all three of them.

Sleeping on the parlor wouldn’t be the most comfortable, nor was it the worst place Mac had slept. As long as he had the two of them though, it would be bearable. The next morning, he heard the door open, looking up to see Twilight enter. Whatever she’d planned to say, it died on her lips as she saw a the large red stallion with an orange mane framed by her brother and her fellow princess. Though he couldn’t raise a hoof to his lips in a gesture to be quiet, he was able to softly shush her. She went rigid, nodding her head, eyes wide as she backed out the door, closing it softly followed by the soft pop of a teleport.

Not too much longer, his companions awoke, and they made their way down to the dining hall. Joining the girls, they were surprised when he sat next to Shining. Twilight looked at him, then them, then back at him, eyes darting frantically, though she said nothing.

Mac smiled, “You can tell them if you want Twilight.”

His sister looked at Twilight, then him in confusion, “Tell us what Mac?”

Smiling at his sister, he turned, reached for Shining, turning the unicorn to face him, before pressing his lips to his. Cadance squealed, while Apple Jack just leaned back in her chair, pushing her hat up, “Well I’ll be.” She started to ask if Cadance was alright with that, only to watch the princess get up from her chair, move to Big Mac’s other side, then plant a kiss on his cheek, “Not keeping it a secret any more, are you?”

“Eeenope.”

“What about Cheerilee?”

“She knows.”

“You know Mac, you’re going to have to tell Granny.”

“Eeeyup.”

A lot pop echoed through the room, followed by a shower of confetti and a banner dropping from the ceiling that read, “Happy Herd Announcing Day” Pinkie was absolutely beaming , “Three is enough for a herd, right? Or would it be a group? Or maybe a string? Or…”

Rainbow Dash flew over to the threesome, “If three isn’t enough, I’ll join.”

“Don’t even think about it you overgrown feather duster.”

Dash smirked at Applejack, “Why shouldn’t I think about getting in with these two big strong stallions? You can always use more mares, right BigM?”

“Eeeyup,” he said

Apple Jack glared at the rainbow maned pegasus even as her and her brother started laughing. Rarity finally couldn’t contain herself and squealed with glee, “There’ll be a marriage, right? You simply must let me design all your outfits. Herds get married, right? Oh I really need to look this stuff up. Twilight, please tell me you have books on herds, right,” but the only reply was a squeak from the purple princess.

Rainbow smirked as she watched, “Hey Big M, I think you broke your sister in law,” causing another round of muttering from Twilight. Laughter filled the room as Twilight finally came back to life, “But, BBBFF, you and Cadance, but…” gesticulating wildly with her hooves.

Running a hoof through his mane, Shining replied, “It just sorta happened. We ran into him after our honeymoon when we visited you. Me and him hit it off. We visited him a couple times after that, and no, we didn’t tell you. The first date was supposed to be me and him, Cadance was just supposed to chaperone, but… Well, whenever we’re in Ponyville, we make a bit of time for him”

Cadance smiled, “He’s our rock. When we’re stressed, all we need to do is be around him and it all goes away. He’s the one thing we’re not.”

Apple Jack just nodded, “Well, ifn y’all are happy, then good. I guess we’ll be seeing more of you?”

The royal couple nodded, “Actually we’ll be coming down in a month to meet Cheerilee, she sounds like a wonderful mare.”

The cowpony nodded, “That she is. Now, I think breakfast is getting cold, so we should all dig in, after all, we have a ceremony to attend.”

ΩΩΩΩΩΩ

One month later, Granny Smith sat at the head of the table, Big Mac and Cheerilee at the foot. To her right was Shining and Cadance, and on her left was Apple Jack and Apple Bloom.

“Jackie she is not too young for this. Not unless she says she is.”

“I dunno, I don’t think she’s ready to hear about something like this.”

“Ain’t like there’s anything wrong with it,” she said, rolling her eyes at their shocked reaction. “Back when I was barely more ‘n a filly, there were all kinds of herds coming together. Free love, ponies being ponies, like back before the three tribes. Ah didn’t care, Ah only had eyes for one stallion, but long as they were happy? Who was Ah to say anything? So when you moving Macintosh?”

Big Mac stared at her, he’d expected her to reject the idea. And now she was suggesting he leave? “Uhh, what? I was going to stay here and take care of the farm.”

Granny shook her head, “Don’t worry yourself ‘bout that. We did fine last month when you went on your trip, visiting these two I reckon. I’m sure some of your younger cousins would love to work here, see how the original farm does things. Besides, ain’t no Apples up there in the Crystal Empire yet, is there? I hear they’ve been gone a thousand years, goin’ need good teachers. You two could do a lot of good things up there.”

The foursome looked at each other, could they? Should they? They hadn’t considered the possibility, but maybe...

Luna's Dungeon

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Cadance was quite surprise as she followed Princess Luna, as her aunt was practically pronking like Pinky Pie. It was quite surprising to see her like this, doubly so when she was leading her through the shrubbery alongside the castle. Luna’s horn lit up as she looked at a part of the wall nearly identical to the rest. Nearly, but if one looked closely, they could see that a door had been boarded up. Flush with the wall, it had been warded with a perception filter that along with the lock spells she could feel on the door itself, provide a long lasting low power security solution.

Luna lifted the board free, the scream of nails being pulled free after so many years undisturbed disturbing the near silence around them. Setting it aside, she leaned forwards, the lock spells being easy to disarm, but her tongue hung out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated on the lock itself. Sure, she could just blow it up, or rip the door off its hinges, but the door added character to what she’d found, so damaging it was out.... Or at least only a last resort. As the rusty lock clicked open, she grinned, “Foresooth!!”

Cadance raised an eyebrow, “Picking locks Auntie? Should I ask why you have such a skill?”

Luna tried to look innocent as she replied, “Why only for emergencies of course in case I or my sister are ever captured.” Seeing the doubt in her niece’s face, “And perhaps a sub needs to give her dom a reason to punish her occasionally.”

Shaking her head and giggling, Cadance tried to glare at her aunt as she followed her down the stairs revealed by the door, “Naughty, naughty.” Luna just joined in the giggling as she led the way, her horn reaching out to light magical lamps that lined the stairs. Some of those lamps flickered, some didn’t work at all, their spells long since evaporated, but a few did, beating back the shadows just a little bit,

Down they went, arriving at a hallway, lighting lamps as they went. Jail cells lined the hallway much to Cadance’s surprise, “What is this place?”

Luna smiled as she led the way, “Jail cells. Before it was the City of Canterlot City, back when Cantervile first built this castle as a gift to my sister after my banishment, there was no city guard. Back then Equestria was mostly a large area filled with scattered farms and homesteads, inns for travelers and such. Since the EU couldn’t hope to defend them, the Royal Guard was the main military, tasked with protecting my sister, her castle and the area around it. As such, they provided policing for the village,” suddenly she stopped, “And here we are. I’ll be having the hallway closed right here to separate it from the dungeons. Over here,” gesturing to the right, “are the investigator offices. But this,” leading her into the room on the left, “is the important part.”

“How did you find this,” Cadance asked, drawing a shrug from Luna.

“I was exploring the castle of course, and found this forgotten part. I asked and my sister said I could have it.”

Cadance gave her a look, “Did she now? And of course you asked her when she wasn’t busy, didn’t you?”

Luna at least looked a bit guilty, “Well, perhaps not… But it matters not, she said I could have it and do with it what I want. This is the old muster room where the guards would prepare for a patrol shift. I’m thinking a nice lounge, like something one might find in a social club, at least back in the old days. Perhaps a fireplace lit by the Fire of Devotion. Some of the cells will be kept, but the rest will be converted into a two or three playrooms. Any CTS member can sign up to play here, first come, first serve, although weddings and collaring will get priority naturally.”

A New Sun

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Twilight and her companion stumbled out of the base of a statue, falling to their hands and needs. Wincing at the pain of their landing, they looked at each other, and then the other… creatures walking around. A few stared at them, thankfully having not noticed their arrivals.

“Ouch, that wasn’t a fun landing.”

“That wasn’t a fun trip,” Moondancer replied, “I feel like I’m going to be sick, but I think it’s wearing off. Is it me, or do they walk like minotaurs?”

Twilight nodded, “They do. Let’s stand up, and then find Sunset Shimmer.” Saying it was far easier than doing it as the two teens wobbled, holding each other up as they stood, wobbling like new born foals.

“She can’t be here, this is a school, and she’d be far too old by now for this.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure, just look at us, I think we’re a lot younger than when we left. That or these creatures age much differently than ponies.” Stumbling towards the door, “Come on, we only have a week, and we don’t know how hard this will be.”

While their walk wasn’t by any means elegant, nor did they have an easy time figuring out how to open the door, they were soon inside. Asking students for help didn’t work though, as saying Sunset Shimmer’s name only led them to rushing away. But, Sunset had conquered the school, so it wasn’t long before they found her, as dictators never have a low profile.

“Sunset!” Twilight cried out, “High Princess…

“I don’t care what Celestian wants, so get lost,” their target said before turning and starting to walk away.

“Sovereign Princess Celestia didn’t send us, she doesn’t have the authority any more.”

Sunset stopped suddenly, turning slowly, but not before dismissing her two accomplices, “Snips, Snails, get lost,” not even paying attention as her two sycophants said ‘Yes your highness’ before darting off. Staring at the two Equestrians, she turned and opened the nearest door, glaring at the teacher setting up. Excusing herself, the teacher left the room to them. “Explain, and it had better be good.”

It was Moondancer who spoke as Twilight was trying to form her thoughts, “Nightmare Moon returned, defeated Celestia, imprisoned her in the moon, and then Twilight and her friends helped the second rebellion defeat Queen Moon and bring Celestia back. The council vote to downgrade her title to Sovereign Princess, and promote Cadance for her work leading the rebellion. Princess Luna was stripped of the corruption of Nightmare Moon, along with her lands, properties and titles to compensate Equestria and it’s ponies. Any questions?

“Let me guess, Celestia’s former student, run away and wanted criminal is to be paraded as proof that the new administration is cleaning house, right?”

“Criminal?” Twilight asked, “I suppose using a class B artifact without permission does make you a criminal, but publicly disagreeing with a princess was never a crime, and these days, you’d likely be seen as a hero for it.”

Sunset stared at her for a while, thinking, “So what do you want with me?”

“Queen Moon,” replied Moondancer, “killed or maimed hundreds of ponies. She also destroyed the livelihood of many more and tore up every treaty we had with other nations. Rebuilding is going to take a long time, and we need the help of every able bodied pony, especially a unicorn powerful enough to become Celestia’s student all those years ago.”

“And you’ve a few days to think about it,” added Twilight with a smile, “after all, the portal will be open for another five days.

Sunset stared at her, “Umm, it’s only open for two days.”

“No, a week, all six days… Wait,” Twilight slapped herself. “We never considered the possibility of a time difference between the ends,” she said as she stared at Moondancer. “How long have you been here? Never mind, that’s not important, what is important is that we’ve only got a day to get back or we’re stuck here for good.”

“You’ll only be here a few months, that’s all.”

“No, you don’t understand, all Class A and B magical relics that can be safely disposed of are being destroyed, this will be the last time the mirror opens, whether we go back or not.”

“Things are that bad?”

“There isn’t enough soldiers to secure everything, so we’re inventorying and destroying as much as possible. If it has no practical use or historical value, then it gets destroyed.”

“Then I guess I’m coming home…”

ΩΩΩΩΩΩ

Four months later…

Starlight finished her presentation with a smile, “So, that’s the plan.”

Twilight smiled at her, Sunburst, Moondancer and Starlight, “Wow, you four really have done your research, haven’t you? So two alicorns and the Elements to repair the heart, once Rarity finds all the pieces, and then the remaining Crystal Ponies will have to charge it.”

“I’ll put up a shield,” Shing said, raising a hoof to silence her objections before she said a thing. “I won’t over do it, after having the Canterlot shield shattered during the first rebellion, the town square,” looking over the map, “should be about all I can do. And I won’t be able to include the palace.”

Sunset listened and watched, impressed by the team they’d built. Sure, she still had trouble with her ego, but every pony here was her equal, or carrying on despite what the Queen had done. Especially Starlight, reduced to only research after an attempt to overthrow Nightmare Moon had resulted in the burning out of her mana passages and horn. Over doing one’s magic was bad enough, but to have an alicorn force massive amounts of magic into your horn? Starlight was lucky that some headaches was all she had to show for it.