Fruit Salad

by Silent Whisper

First published

Some ponies try to use a banana or cucumber to take care of their more... private needs, when a lover isn't available. Rainbow Dash is determined to push the boundaries of the usual assortment of fruit, much to Scootaloo's horror.

Some ponies try to use a banana or cucumber to take care of their more, well, private needs, when a lover isn't available. Rainbow Dash is determined to push the boundaries of the usual assortment of fruit, much to Scootaloo's horror.

Some things cannot be unseen

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Scootaloo fiddled with her hooves. “Is this gonna take too long? Me n’ the other Crusaders were going to go help Silver Spoon, and I don’t wanna be late.”

Nurse Redheart sighed and shuffled the papers, readying a quill over the first blank sheet. “It shouldn’t, dear. Just tell me what happened, from the beginning.”

The filly squirmed in the chair. It was hard wood, and very uncomfortable. This entire situation was uncomfortable too. She didn’t want to talk about what she saw. Scootaloo was still trying to wrap her head around the incident.

“It started when I was trying this sweet trick on my scooter, okay? I was supposed to bounce on clouds all the way to Cloudsdale, but, um, I kind of missed, and…


She crashed into the house, hooves flailing wildly. Her scooter had plummeted to the ground like a rock, which worried Scootaloo. She really hoped it had somehow landed safely. Maybe it bounced off of a trampoline! She was somewhere over Ponyville, after all, so it wouldn’t surprise her. Weirder things have happened.

That didn’t change the fact that she was well and truly stuck through the wall. Thankfully, said wall was made of cloud, and didn’t hurt too much on impact. She would probably have to apologize to whatever pegasus she had inadvertently barged in on.

Who did she barge in on, anyway? Scootaloo looked around. Wonderbolt posters lined the walls, some of them signed, some of them faded from the sunlight. That didn’t rule out many ponies; even her own room was covered in Wonderbolt memorabilia.

There was a collection of Daring Do books on a bookshelf. Some of them, she noted, were from the library, and were quite overdue, judging by the dust collecting on them. A lot of ponies liked Daring Do, though. It could be anypony, really.

She squinted. Was that a Wonderbolt uniform dangling from the back of the chair? Were those rainbow-striped panties sprawled on that desk? Scootaloo bit her lip. Surely that was just a coincidence, right? There was no way she had crashed through the wall of-

“I’m home!” Rainbow Dash announced as she zipped into her room. Scootaloo gasped and resisted the urge to facehoof. Could her luck get any worse? She had smashed into the house of her hero! Her hero… who had apparently went shopping for the most bizarre assortment of fruits and vegetables Scootaloo had ever seen.

Rainbow Dash grinned. “Applejack said this was impossible, but nothing is impossible for me! She’s just too jealous to admit that I’m honestly the most awesome mare there is!” Scootaloo silenced herself with a hoof, her eyes going wide. Was she about to see Rainbow Dash try out a new trick? The fruit was a little curious, she had to admit, but maybe Rainbow was going to juggle it, or something even more awesome! She bit back a squee of excitement.

Rainbow lined up the groceries on the floor. There were bananas, apples, lemons, a watermelon, and more. The neat row of fruit looked like a rainbow all on its own! Rainbow nodded, satisfied, before rummaging through a drawer in her dresser. Scootaloo propped her head up on her hooves. This was it! Rainbow Dash was preparing a brand new trick, and she got to be the first one to see it!

She returned to the fruit with a bottle of something pretty clear. She carefully lathered some of it on the banana, coating it evenly, before moving on to the next fruit. Soon every fruit was extra-shiny. Scootaloo couldn’t figure out why she would do that, but maybe it made them look better. Maybe it was a magic potion, and the fruit would soon burst into magical fruit-scented sparkles!

Rainbow Dash seemed pretty excited to see that all the fruit was ready. She was breathing unevenly, and her hoof kept straying towards her plot. She walked up to the banana and held it in her hoof, examining it. Was there something wrong with it? Was it not awesome enough?

It must have been satisfactory, because she rolled over onto her back and spread her wings wide. Scootaloo’s eyes were as wide as saucers. This was it! This was the cool trick!

Rainbow Dash’s eyes fluttered shut and she sighed. Her hoof slid the banana slowly down her stomach. It left a slimy trail behind it. It must make it slippery, Scootaloo realized. Rainbow Dash took a deep breath, and slid it over her mare bits. Her wings jerked open, much to Scootaloo’s confusion. Was she going to fly like that, on the floor?

Probably not. Rainbow Dash didn’t look up to flying. Her face was flushed and she bit her lip. Her hooves fiddled with the banana and her mare bits. For some reason, that made Scootaloo blush. What was she doing? Did she know that you weren’t supposed to touch yourself there, because that’s dirty?

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath, and pointed the banana at her crotch. Scootaloo’s eyes grew wider and wider as it slowly started to slide into her. How was that possible? And why were her wings trying to unfurl against the wall? It was getting uncomfortable, but the cloud wall held firm, pinning her wings to her back.

Rainbow’s wings were spread wide, and she groaned, as though in pain, but she didn’t look upset. She looked almost happy, Scootaloo realized, so she must not be very hurt. Rainbow slowly slid the banana in and out of her mare bits, gasping every time it went in and sighing contentedly every time it went out.

For some peculiar reason, this made Scootaloo very fidgety.

The older pegasus had increased her pace, the banana sliding in and out, faster and faster. Her ragged breathing had gotten quicker too, and her tongue was lolling out. Rainbow’s groans and grunts turned into moans, which grew louder and louder as her other hoof wandered across her body, playing with her mare bits and nipples. Scootaloo held her hooves to her ears as Rainbow screamed, tensing up, her hind legs pressing together around the banana.

Scootaloo cautiously unplugged her ears as soon as Rainbow Dash was done. She looked sleepy, sprawled across the floor panting. Rainbow grinned. “Oh, sweet Celestia, that was awesome. Now, to prove AJ wrong!”

She reached for the nearest fruit, accidentally knocking the apple away. Rainbow Dash looked up blearily. “Ah, who needs apples. I bet Applejack’s already done that, anyways. I’ve gotta do better than that, let’s see…”

Scootaloo winced and waved her hooves frantically. “No, Rainbow Dash, not the pineapple!” She wailed, but Rainbow Dash was too blissed out to hear her, and was already lining up the fruit to her mare bits, a dazed grin on her face. Scootaloo looked at the row of fruit. Kiwis, oranges, apples… those all looked okay, like the banana, but-”


“Pumpkins? Watermelons? You’re kidding, right?” Nurse Redheart pursed her lip, her face turning red. She looked as though she was either in a great deal of pain or as though she was about to burst out laughing. Scootaloo suspected the latter.

“Yeah, and the weird thing was, she just wouldn’t stop!” Scootaloo said as she waved her hooves about, trying to describe the absurdity of the situation. “I mean, why in Equestria would she put stuff like that in her mare bits?”

Nurse Redheart took a deep breath and grasped Scootaloo’s hooves gently. “I suppose you deserve an explanation, but you have to promise not to tell the other fillies and colts.” She waited for Scootaloo to nod before continuing. “Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much…”

Scootaloo chuckled. “Is this about that sex thing?”

Nurse Redheart blinked, nonplussed. “Um, yes, did your parents tell you about it already?”

The filly shook her head. “Nah, but I figured it out a while ago. I knew colt’s penises went in there, but my parents never said anything about fruit!”