Adjusting to a new world can be a challenging ordeal, specially when you need to be on the look out for magic accidents. Luckily for me, I have friends that can help me out, even in the most bizarre of events
After arriving into Equestria do to mysterious circumstance, I finally though, my adjusting was complete, sure there was the occasional evil in search to end the world and some wacky weird prank courtesy of my good old pal Discord, but I was certain that after the third year of living in ponyville when I finally understood the pattern of both Discord and Pinkie and became an expert in what they call 'Dodge-Fu' that I could relax and proudly say: "I can take anything this world can throw at me" boy was I sourly mistaken.
Although I must admit, this one probably is on me, Twilight did warm me of the possible side effects of mind related spells, but come on, have the super power of move things with your mind? It will be crazy not to try it out at least once…still it probably had gone a lot less complicated if only I have choose the super strength. Oh well I will keep that in mind for next time.
(It will start light but, I'm putting the mature tag…just in case)
Waking up in Equestria from thin air and not explanation what so ever in how you got there, is by no means a walk in the park. Taking away the initial shock of be rip from everything you knew and love, there is also the fact that you have to re learn almost everything, the society around you, their past, their customs, even their social norms (having to accept how relationship here are more or less reverse do to mares out numbers stallions five to one, and that harems are more than acceptable was particularly hard, Specially since mares can turn really horny during special times). But after a while, in duelling from losing everything and then the arduous task of adapting to your new life, things can get much easier over time. Specially if one of your friends is the princess of friendship and she is willing to let you lived in her castle and help you adjust to your new life.
Yep, it might have being rocky at first but now, I'm sure that nothing that this crazy and colourful world throws at me will bring me down. Not even the spirt of chaos itself Discord who for the looks of things have pull yet another of his pranks by putting me in a different room than the one that I used to be when I went to sleep.
In other circumstance I would be either confused or angry that I end up falling in another of his tricks, but now they only bring me a slight chuckle at best, in the rare occasions that they actually pull it off. Years of being the target of his pranks, have help me develop a sense of detection of his and Pinkie Pie proximity, and because of that I have being able dodge almost all that they had try to pull off, some even reverse it back at them. Much to their shock and amazement, they even have a name for it now, they call it 'Dodge-Fu'. Je, oh those two and their wacky way to see the world
"Good one Discord, this time I really didn't see this one coming" I exclaim into the air, before stretching and leaving my bed to see where exactly did he send me to. Like I say its really weird that he manage to prank me this day, so if he did achieved it I will not be a sour loser, he go the extra mile for this so the least I can do is admire his fine work. Leaving the place I was unable to see the stirs of a certain mare in bed next to where I used to be.
"Didn't saw what coming honey?" the mare sweetly talk as one of her hoof try to reach out for her companion only to find air. Opening her eyes and raising her head she start to look around in slight confusion "Honey?"
Wow, Discord really out done himself this time
As I walk throw the halls I couldn't help but admire the structures I was in, the place looked like Twilight castle but it was way bigger and somehow it look more expensive judging by all the crystals everywhere, and I don't mean jewellery I mean like the whole place, walls, pictures, roof, lightbulbs, even the floor I was walking on was made purely out of diamonds.
Je did Discord send me into another place in Equestria or am I in one of Rarity 'special' dreams? Have to say, if they convinced Luna to join the fun, that could open the possibility to all sort of new pranks
While exploring the cries of a baby nearby brought me back to reality as I turn to a door not to far from me. Opening it up I saw and a crib in the middle of it with Flurry Hearts crying on it
Flutter Heart is here? wait…those that means?
I look back and headed to a window to see a city made entirely off crystals and shinny ponies. Oh I get it know…Discord send me to the Crystal Empire, well this is a new one
I shake my head as I chuckle Boy I hope Cadence and Shining Armor will not be mad at me for crashing their castle
The cries of Flurry catch my attention and I approach her crib "What is wrong little one?" The moment she saw me, her cry stops and as she sob "Did you have a bad dream?" She only nod before raising both of her hoofs so I can lift her "Oh you poor thing"
Complying to her request I took her in my arms and place her against my chest where she didn't waste time in hugging me. "There there, Flurry your uncle Anon is here for you" Sitting on a chair near by I let her calm down while humming a small tune my mother used to use on me when I was scare. As I continue with my treatment the door of the room open and from it, princess Cadence walk in.
"Oh so here you were"
"Here I am" I tell her with a smile as I stand up and approach her "Hope you don't mind, the poor thing just had a bad dream, so I try to calm her down"
"Why would I mind? You have as much right to hold her as I"
I laugh at that as I pass Flurry to her "Je well appreciated the thought Cadence but I think certain stallion wouldn't like to hear you say that"
"What?" Cadence face turn into confusion as she tilt her head
"I mean your husband of course"
That comment make her laugh and shake her head "Oh Shining you always knew how to make me laugh"
"Shining?" It was my turn to look at her confused and then get scare when out of the blue she approach her lips toward mine in an attempt to kiss.
"Oh…wow, wow, wow!" I back away as fast I can before she reach me and look at her in shock "Cadence what are you doing!?"
"I was only trying to give you, your morning kiss" She answer slightly hurt at my sudden reaction "What is wrong? do I have bad breath?" she quickly check if her breath was ok as her act was complete normal.
"Bad breath? Cadence you are a married mare!"
"So?" She shrug as I just ask her the most basic of things.
"So?! That mean you can't go around kissing other stallions, I don't know how things usually work here, but Twilight did teach me, that marriage are a serious deal and you were about to break your vows to Shining Armor"
"Ok Shining you are starting to scare me, what exactly got into you?"
"Why do you keep calling me…?" I point a finger at her when suddenly I was well aware of something different in my being, particularly the fact that my arm was now a hoof, I had white fur, and just now figure that up until now I was walking in four legs.
"Oh no!" Dashing to the door I enter a bathroom that I lock and then took a good look at my reflection, confirming m fears. I didn't knew how it happen but apparently I didn't just wake up in the Crystal Empire…I somehow transform into the prince of it.
Soon after my discover I heard a knock on the door and the voice of Cadence calling from the other side.
"Shining? Sweetie? Is everything ok?"
I took a serious of depth breath before I address Cadence witch as much neutrality I could muster "Honey?"
"Yes?"
"Could you please cover your…our baby ears for a second?"
"Why?"
"Just do it, I don't want her to hear something"
"Ah…ok"
"Do you cover them?"
"Yes"
"Thank you honey"
I took a depth breath before showing exactly what was passing throw my mind in that instant.
Meanwhile in the outskirts of the city a couple of farmers need to stop on their tracks the moment their ears catch the sound of their prince yelling with all his might
As I play with Flurry Heart on the waiting room I pay close attention to the doctor speaking with Cadence in the other room
It was no surprise, that after my little outburst Cadence didn't thought that I was all to well in the head, specially since right after I came out of the bathroom, I started to walk back and forward saying nonsense, so naturally she took me to see the royal doctor right away and for the next hour I was force to answer memory test to see exactly what was going on in me, even though I already knew what was going on, but didn't knew how it happen.
In retrospective, things could have gone a bit better if I just told her who I really was, but, one I was a little busy freaking out and two well…how exactly did I tell someone 'I'm not the person in front of you' ? Best case scenario one would think I'm playing a joke and just laugh it off at my 'impersonation'; worse case they think I'm being serious…and send me into the loony house until the real Shinning Armor arrive with my body and confirm what I'm saying…if he hasn't being put into another loony house. So with my options cut short and the fear of being sent to an insane asylum, I could only hear what the doctor have to say and play along with whatever diagnosis she has to offer. Hopefully I could play along anything she suggest and find a way to return to my body or at the very least prove that I didn't went insane
"…What do we do doctor? He doesn't even remember who he is"
"This clearly looks like a peculiar case of amnesia. The prince knows who Shining Armor is, but is having difficulty grasping the concept that he IS said individual. In all my years on medicine I have never seeing something like this happen before. Less when there was no clear indicator of what made the trauma in the first place"
"Well…maybe there is something" Cadence tells with some embarrassment with catch my attention "Amnesia could be cause by hits on the head correct?"
"That is correct your highness"
"Then this might be my fault…you see yesterday Shining Armor and I were bucking after tuck Flurry Hearts to bed…"
AHHH! Mental image, mental image! Cadence WHY?!
"…and while I was riding him reverse cowgirl style, I accidentally hit his head against the back of the bed right when we orgasm"
Ok seriously how can she speak so casually about this?
I shiver at the though No wonder my fur had a slightly smell of perfume
"I see, that certainly must have cause the amnesia" The doctor say with a chuckle "I have heard of bucking stallions brains out but this is the first time I see it actually happen, congratulation princess"
"This doesn't seem like a time for congratulation miss Health Care!" Cadence tells raising her voice slightly and with some anger in her tune.
"I apologies, but you have to admit its a bit funny, anyway this new information is actually pretty good"
"It is?"
It is?
"Yeah usually amnesia patient could recover the memory after a while on their own or by repeating the act that cause the memory lost in the first place"
"So what you are saying is that we can either play along with Shining Armor new persona until my sweet Shinny comes back…"
"…Or you buck your husband back to reality" The doctor say before laughing "Give the prince stallion a good bucking princess"
"But he can't even let me kiss him? I think offering sex is out of the question"
Damn right it is princess, Shining is a good friend of mine and I will not going to break the bro code…also I don't want to die
"Oh your highness please, you are the princess of love, the wet dreams of thousands of stallions all over Equestria, do you really think that Shining Armor would be able to resist you if you if you seduce him a little?"
"Well…I still have what it takes to turn heads where I walk without even trying, and a lot of ponies and even griffins had say that I should be a super model"
"Then my diagnosis is pretty clear your highness, you can either wait and see if your husband comes back…or you can buck his brain out so hard that he will turn back to normal"
Oh please no, Shining would kill me! Cadence please, please choose option A
"Well…its being a while since I used my moves, and the idea of medical bucking sounds kind of kinky"
NOOO!!
"We can even do it multiple times…ah…o…only to be complete sure, of course"
"Hey the more the merrier, I don't think he will have any complains"
Oh god I need to get out of here, come on there must be something I can do, think…think!
As I look for an answer one came to me in the form of a bad smell. Looking down I notices that indeed Flurry Hearts has just made a mess on her diaper and was in need of a change, and was about to cry from it.
"Flurry you are a genius" I kiss her check witch in turn make her giggle and smile again before I grab her and leave the place.
In the distance I could hear Cadence leaving the doctor office.
"~Oh Shining~"
Oh god, better think of something fast, for how she sounded I don't think a simple 'no' will stop her advances. Discord I swear if this was your doing I'm going to kill you.
After taking care of Flurry Hearts…incident I start to think on ways for me to avoid Cadence at all cost. Sure she is a pretty mare and spending some much time in Equestria has help me move on from the taboo of relationships, but I'm still not ready to seek one, less one that involve one of my friends wife!
So now I'm here hiding in Flurry room while keeping an eye on the door in case Cadence walks in, attending Flurry has earn me some time but I knew it will be not by much. Who knew that it will come the day that a man would actively seek being send into the dog house.
Come, think, what are the things that instantly kill the mood for intimacy? Hmmm jealous? No, if all those stories that Shining told me and for the way I have seeing her interact with him on their visit, chances are that she would just invite the mare for a threesome. Act like a jerk? Not an option, taking the fact that I don't the heart to treat her badly, with all her magic, at her disposal and years dealing with noble assholes, she will probably will just reverse roles without me even notices, take a more aggressive approaches, or worse of all play along and make things 100% more awkward and difficult for me. Damn it Cadence! why did you had to be, like eleven flavours of crazy when it comes to sex?
The song of a rattle wake me of my day dream and looking up I see an adorable image of Flurry Heart playing with her toys, using her magic to move them around she create some sort of court where was the judge and, was rambling baby stuff like she was in the middle of a court and was using her rattle as a maze. I can't help but smile at the image on how cute image, "Boy you are your parents daughter are you?" I say nuzzling her head.
"A princess and a captain of the royal guard, of course you will have some interest in politics" I chuckle while continue watching her play "If you are having so much fun now, I wonder how you will act during your royal duties?…royal duties!"
In an instant I pick up Flurry and toss her into the air resulting in her giggling as she nuzzle her cheek with my own "Flurry you are on fire today! you just gave me the perfect idea! When I return to my body I will buy you a giant chocolate cake"
Flurry clops her hoofs in happiness at the idea of candy making me smile
In that moment I heard a knock on the door and soon after, a earth pony mare with blue mane tie in a bum and dress like a maid walks in and give me a short vow the moment she sees me "Good morning your highness"
"Oh yeah…morning to you too, miss…" I made a gesture with my hoof witch earn a confused look from her "…Day Care, don't you remember me your grace? I'm the royal nanny"
"Oh! yeah, yeah I remember now, sorry for forgetting. Last night I hit my head with something and my mind has being a bit messy since them"
"Oh my, are you ok? Do you wish me to call for princess Cadence?"
"No! I mean, there is nothing to worry miss Care, I have everything under control, just need to jog my memory a bit"
"Well ok but if you have difficulty remember something I would advice you to rest for the day, prince Armor"
"I will miss Care, thanks for the concern" I tell with a smile before seeing Flurry flying to Day Care and giving her a hug with result in a giggle from her "And good morning to you too princess Flurry, are you ready for your daily bath?"
The baby only nod rapidly and giggle when Care tickle her tummy, before looking at me. "There is nothing to worry your highness I will take care of the princess while you go perform your royal duties"
"Thanks miss Care you are a life saver…ah before I go can I ask you one last question?"
"Sure"
"Exactly…in what direction is the throne room?"
She look at me in total confusion before pointing to the right. "Perfect" I go ahead and kiss Flurry in the check and out of instinct do the same with Day Care making her freeze in place. "You are the best Day Care, thank you very much"
I say in a hurry as I start to run toward the direction she point at, not noticing how her whole body just shake and she slowly reach her hoof to the check I just kiss with a goofy smile "Your welcome, your grace"
After my initial run, I gradually start to slow down so I could think in what exactly was going to be my plan of action.
Ok, lets see…if I work myself to the bone then Cadence will have no choose but to leave me alone and give me time to come with an idea on how to fix this mess. The first thing obviously will getting in contact with Twilight…by now Armor should have wake up and probably would had explain everything to Twilight with any luck she had believed him and they could be on their way now…and if not I better worry and save Shining before they give some weird medicine for his 'insanity'
I'm force to stop in my tracks when I reach the door to my destination and a realisation soon hit me Wait, what do I know about politics? Oh great! now I have another problem, if I don't work Cadence will have more excuses to be with plus they will think I need professional help; and if I do work and mess things up I could be the sole reason a war ignites
In frustration I hit my head against the door God why everything has to be so complicated, what else can I do now?
"Use your laughter"
"Ah!" Jumping from the scare, I turn around only to find a transparent Pinkie Pie wearing Obi One outfit, looking at me with a serene expression
"There is nothing to fear as long as you remember how to laugh"
"Pinkie Pie? Oh god, you are death?! what happen? how did you die?"
The vision suddenly start to laugh and act more like the real Pinkie Pie "I'm not death you silly, I'm not even the real Pinkie Pie, I'm just your subconscious talking with while in the form of your friend"
"What? My…subconscious, I don't understand"
"Its easy to explain actually, you have being expending so much time with us that some of our teachings have being pass to you, like me for example, you can think of me as the part of your mind that keeps you with a positive attitude and will help you find the bright side AND solutions to your problems? Just like a guardian element! You have all 6 of us here, but we will only appear if you really needs us, and only the element you need to consult, so don't be sad the real Pinkie Pie is alive and planing your next party!" She say with a cheerful smile.
"O…k, I'm still have some questions but I'm going to role with them for now, so oh Pinkie One what should I do?"
She goes back to her serene expression "If you wish to conquer this obstacle you must keep a positive attitude and face turn any challenge you are present with as a game!"
"But how? I don't know anything about politics"
"Ah but you know everything when it comes to adapt don't you? When you came to Equestria you didn't knew how to act or what to do, yet you persevere and now you live on a castle with a princess as a friends a job that you love and even a love interest"
"Yeah you are right I have…wait what love interest?"
"Ops got ahead of myself for a bit, ignore that last part, the important thing is that each time you adapt you do so faster and better, I mean you invented Dodge-Fu and manage to find a way to beat the god of chaos on a prank war!"
"Ok I admit that was actually pretty impressive"
"It was, and if you manage to beat that, you will be able to be a prince for a while, the only thing you always need to remember is to never forget to smile"
"Do you think I can do it?"
"I know you can do it, you are a human and humans can adapt to anything, and conquer all obstacles its in your nature, it will be on your cutie mark if you get those too. So stand up, take a depth breath and walk in there with a big smile"
I smile at her with determination before turning to the door "I will"
"That is the spirit, trust me you will do great"
I'm about to open the door when something comes into my mind and I look at the ghost "Wait! before you go, can I ask you something?"
"I'm not going to say the jedi fraise"
"Ah come on Pinkie, you already have the outfit, please? just once?"
She sigh and shake her head "Fine but only once" She clear her throat before speaking "Luke, you have to go to the Jagova system"
That make me laugh "Thank you Pinkie One"
"That is what I'm here for, now go get them tiger" She says before dissipating out of existence.
The moment I open the door and walk throw the throne room where a unicorn mare with yellow fur and pink mane wearing a formal white shirt with buttons and a purple scarf look at me and give a short vow. Her expression was serious and very professional. "Good morning your highness, hope you have a good night sleep" Using her magic she approach a wooden table with some papers attach to it "I have your schedule ready to go"
"Perfect, but before we continue, I have something I need to tell you miss"
"What is it prince Armor?"
"Recently I suffer an minor injury in my head that result in some considerable memory lost, do not worry its nothing serious and the doctor say that my memory will come back after I jog it for a while but in the meantime I though you could help me adjusting to my royal duties for today, just until I recover my memories"
"That sounds like a serious predicament sir, are you sure you are fit to perform?" She ask and I could detect some level of worry in her tone.
To witch I simple smile and nod "I'm certain, memory or not, I'm still a prince that has to look after their subjects, I can't not let them down, but if you think my conditions do not improve you can tell me and I will gladly step down for a while, I simple wish to let me do what I need to do miss"
"Fair enough, I admire your dedication to your job so I will agree to those term for now"
"Perfect also before we can start can I…"
"…My name is Carefree Planning sir, and I have being your royal adviser for almost a year" Carefree answer predicting his question.
"Right, thanks that would certainly will help, so tell me Carefree what is on the agenda?" I ask as I walk into the throne and sit on it while she inspect her notes. "The first order of business will be your meeting with the Ice giants"
That catch me by surprise "Did you say…giants?"
She only nod and put down their notes "After a lot negotiation and some economic sacrifices, their king finally agree to an audience with you to discuss territory planing and opening commercial routes throw their lands, they are actually waiting for you to receive them" she ask before raising an eyebrow "That is of course…IF you are ready to receive them your grace"
I gulp and then take a depth breath to calm myself. I was determine to adapt to this, no matter what. So after calming myself down I look back at Carefree "Send them in"
"As you command your highness"
"Oh who is a good little filly? oh who is a good little filly, you are, oh yes you are, yes you are" Day Care keep baby talking with Flurry while she giggle and wiggle as her nanny continue to dry her off. As she work Cadence enter the room looking everywhere "Oh good morning princess Cadence how are you doing?"
"I'm doing fine Day Care thank you for asking" she ask not really playing to much attention to her as she ope the bathroom on the room "Tell me, have you seeing my husband? I have being looking for him for a while now, and a guard said that he was here"
"Oh prince Armor? Yes I saw he, he was playing with Flurry Heart this morning before going to the throne room to perform his royal duties?"
"He what!?" Cadence ask her with alarm making Day Care flinch
"W…well he say that he had everything under control and just needed to jog his memory a bit"
"Day Care please tell me you send him into the wrong direction" Cadence ask as she gets more and more scare, so Care can only shake her head.
"I…I though he would be ok"
"Care you don't get it, his amnesia is not something that simple, he didn't just forgot things, he has disassociated himself complete, right now he doesn't think he IS Shining Armor"
"W…what? b…but when I spoke he seem complete normal"
"That was probably his persona acting as Shining Armor, Care please tell that he left not to long ago"
Again she only can shake her head "I'm sorry princess he has being long for at least an hour, hour in a half tops"
The moment she says that Cadence leave the place in a rush and gallop toward the throne room noticing the ice surrounding the walls.
Why is there so much ice…the giants! oh pony feather today was the day Shining was going to meet them!
Fearing the worse she double her speed Oh please Celestia, please tell me that nothing bad happen
The moment she see the double door Cadence don't waste time and burst throw them "Wait, please its not his fault he is not…ok?"
Cadence needs to take a double take when she see what its look like the middle of a party where giant stallions with blue fur and mane made out of ice were talking, dancing our playing with some of the castle staff and in the middle of it was Shining Armor playing a game of poker with the king of the giants and 3 of his body guards, like they were old friends.
The place get really cold when everything stop and all eyes went strait to Cadence looking at her in confusion and she coping their expression not knowing what to do of the image. The awkward silence is soon broken when Shining notices her and casually wave at her direction "Oh hey honey! glad that you can join us" He then turn to the king with a smile "what did I tell you Tundra? can she make an entrance or what?"
"Ok I admit, you did warn us about her" He tells before bursting in laughter follow soon by the rest of the present in the room.
Cadence can only mutter one thing while continue to see the scene unfold "what?"
"Bye Suliman, have a nice trip" I wave at the king of the giant as he and his wife wave back at Cadence and me. I'm more honest that Cadence that was mostly force to play along with my charade once she dive head first into my improvised 'party' with the ice giants. "Hey don't forget, we still need to have that goofball game, sometime"
"Je you got it pal, better prepare your game face because I will go all out"
"Bring it" we share a laugh as he keep walking with his wife to the exit.
I smile as they are out of earshot and see the doors of the castle starting to close, knowing full well what is going to happen next.
And three…two…
The moment the door were close Cadence drop her smile and glare at me "What was that?!"
"What do you mean honey?"
"Oh don't you 'honey' me mister, I'm really angry at you right now, you took a very delicate and important meeting with our very aggressive and military advance neighbours, and turn into a…a party!"
"Eeyup" I reply with a smile as I look at her "And now they left, laughing and seeing us as allies and close friends, witch in my book means less risk of a war"
"That is not how things work! there are process, deals, negotiation did you even make them sigh an agreement in trade routes?!"
"Oh yeah…they agree to lets us cross using after using one of our tactics"
"Playing matchmaker is not one our tactics!" she say getting angrier.
"Ok, one you are the princess of love…isn't that in your description? and two, I didn't see you complain when the executives of agriculture make out and came with an agreement of routes"
She try to rebut but I beat her to it "…And made a faster and better progress with them in one day that we have ever done in years correct" She stop and can only glare as I continue "So while it was not how we do things here, now we have a powerful ally, a commercial route and the trust of their race if anything happen to either of our nation…Exactly what this meeting was all about right honey?"
"Well yeah but…its not like…what you did was…agh!" Cadence try to argue back but can't find the angle on how to talk and just start to pass back and forward trying to think. "Are you angry sweetie?"
"Of course I'm angry! Yeah you gave this nation a huge favour and possible create the first piece treated with the ice giants ever made…but you did it without consulting me first and without using protocol, I'm both proud and furious right now I…aght! I don't know what to say now!"
Gotcha, now sex is the last thing you will ever think for weeks I mentally air fist as I start to leave "Looks like there is a lot in your mind honey, don't worry I will let you sort your thoughts in peace, in the mean while I will spend the nights in the dog house"
I try to leave but the door are suddenly cover in a pink aura and close before Cadence teleport in front of me with a glare "What was that?"
"Well, since you are so mad and proud me at the moment, I imagine that the last thing you want is to share a bed with the stallion that put you in that state of mind on the first place"
"Oh what a considering thing to do. Getting away from me even more when you haven't done anything but avoid me ever since this morning"
"I'm just want to help you you with your stress"
"You know darn well that my stress goes away with a blowjob and quick anal session" she say with a accusing hoof. Witch make me flinch once more, not for the argument but because that is the second time she just casually talk about her sex life.
"Wait a minute" She suddenly stop and start to talk out loud while putting her hoof under her chin. "The random party; force me to play along in front of the ambassador; hiding behind Flurry; offering yourself to sleep on the dog house" She gasp in realisation before glaring at me once more "You did this on purpose!"
Wow have to handed to her, that was a good deduction, je but it doesn't matter I already won. Just need to keep her angry
I give her my best smug face and take a step closer "Maybe, but I still did my job as a prince and as parent, so there is nothing you can scowl me for"
She try to argue but only grunt in frustration, as I laugh a little and start to walk to the door once more. "Looks like you will have to remain angry at me for a while" I try to open the door but I found them lock.
"For a while" I see how Cadence stand to attention in realisation and turn around to point at me with a smile on her face "Now I get your plan! You are trying to put me off the mood"
"What? No"
Damn it! I gave her too many clues, ok I can still save this, just need to not show fear
"Oh yes you are, you probably heard my talk with Dr. Care, and ran away to think of ways for me to be off the mood" It was Cadence to have a smug smile on her face. "Well I have news for you buster is not going to work, I'm familiar with angry sex too, so get ready for a good buck!"
She ran toward me making me flinch but I wasn't going fall without a fight. "Are you really sure you can get in the mood, after what happen and how are you feeling right now?"
Cadence was force to stop right in front of me, still with her smug coping my own. "Just you watch me" She try to kiss me but stop near inches away "Just have too…" she try again but the same result happen "Maybe if I…" she try to kiss different parts of my body but an invisible force seem to prevent her from intimacy contact. "BUCK!"
She finally yell and step back "That Is what I though, now if you will be so kind as to unlock the door I will be on my way to the dog house"
"Oh no" She say looking at me with an angry smile "You are not going to get away from this that easy Shining, you are going to spend the night right next to me!"
"Cadence give it a rest, you just saw it, you are as cold as the snow outside, nothing is going to happen"
"Maybe not tonight, but now that I discover your little scheme, it's so ON!" she poke me with her hoof and unlock the doors "Starting tomorrow I will bring my A game mister. You are not the only one that can scheme plans. So better stay alert…" she gets close to me and whisper into my ear "…because I'm going to make you buck me like there is no tomorrow"
She gets back and smile with her usual calm smile "Its getting pretty late, lets retire to our bedroom tonight shall we?" Cadence mention as she start to leave the room putting extra effort to swag her flanks while walking. "What? but…but the frustration, the stress the…"
"Shining I will put it like this…either you come to bed with me right now, or I wait until you are sound sleep sneak on to your room and wake you up by administrating blow jobs" she say in the same sweet and calm voice.
Sighing in defeat I just nod "Coming dear"
"That is what I though" As we continue to walk to her rooms I couldn't help but to watch throw a window and see some snow falling and in the distance the train of the crystal empire leave the station.
And where the hell is Twilight now? By this point she should had figure out something was wrong with me, and Shining probably proved that he was really him, they are siblings after all, he must had know something of Twilight nobody else knew. What the hell is taking her so long?!
Back in Ponyville the purple princess and a human on a hood are currently discussing with a train conductor in ponyville station. "I'm really sorry princess but like I told you, any route to the crystal empire is close"
"What? Why?" The human ask, in anger.
The conductor point a hoof at the distance where a storm cloud its seeing "Do you see that cloud over there in route to the empire?"
"Yes?"
"That is the signal that windigoes are in the area, this time of the year its their mating season and they gather right there in the middle of the roads to do the deed. Witch means that going there is just suicide, if the extreme cold, doesn't kill you, a really angry and horny windigo will finish the job, and may Celestia have mercy on you if you encounter a female Windigo, when getting mad, they can froze solid fire in instant" The conductor explain
"Oh no, that also mean chariot, and sending messages is out of the question too" The human say shaking his head
"What about teleportation?" Twilight ask
"From here to the empire? miss I don't know how strong your magic is, but I don't think even Celestia herself can do that titanic jump from point A to point B, if you are lucky you will reach half way throw and well…"
"Yeah I understand, windigoes once more"
"So you see?, the connection to the crystal empire will have to be close for a while.
"Ah exactly, how long does their mating season last?" Twilight ask
"You are in luck princess according to the weather ponies, those rascals must be wrapping things up by now, so you will only have to wait a week, their mating season is almost over but it will take time to defrost the rail roads so they are safe to travel"
"A week!" The human groan and sit on a near by bench.
"If I may ask why such a hurry to reach that place?" The conductor ask and Twilight just sigh "Its…a long story" she tells him before going to the human to console him.
The next day, came with some difficulty. Sure Cadence did kept her word and let me sleep on my side of the bed but the moments the clock strike twelve she start to put her plan in action. It was nothing too serious at first, just one simple cuddle session from her part. Nothing sexual there and it was kind of nice consider how soft and fluffy her fur and wings felt against my back…the problem started when her cuddle session got a bit more personal.
I didn't knew when but at some point I got the feeling of two very big and round objects rubbing against my back as well as her wet neither getting acquaintance with the base of my tail. Didn't knew, that that part of pony anatomy was so sensitive and I definitely could had lived without knowing it. Of course I try to move but for a slim mare Cadence was surprisingly strong and each moment I did she counter with her own, moving her wings on the way or making sexual moans while 'dreaming' and even somehow manage to turn me around so both my face and my manhood where just inches away from her lips.
Je the little Nymph, didn't knew if she was awake or sleep, but if this wasn't such a delicate situation, I would even applaud her moves. Unfortunately for her, I had moves on my own, thanks to Pinkie super special secret surprise morning hugs (witch I still don't get how is that even a prank or why she decided to invent them just for me). It sure was tricky not to wake the sleeping princess but after some turning and a force encounter with her vagina I did manage to switch myself with a pillow. Right on time too, judging by the moaning and weird slouchy sounds that came from her the rest of the night. A little disturbing but nothing some improvised earplugs couldn't fix.
Now I'm here in Shining and Cadence room all alone again, wondering where did Cadence went, how did she manage to sneak pass me, and what weird things does she has in store for me when she comes back.
Twilight I swear, if the reason you and Shining Armor are not here now is because you wanted to have some sibling time for yourself, I will shave ALL the fur on your body I mentally say still wondering where the hell where those two.
Knowing that I will not be able to do much sitting in bed, I decided to go see Flurry Hearts to at least made sure that Cadence wouldn't not put her against me and totally not to used her cuteness in an attempt to wake up Cadence motherly instincts.
Unfortunately its looks like Cadence was one step ahead of me because the moment I open the door instead of seeing the little filly I only found a letter on her trip that say
Same trick will not work twice, sweetheart. I'm taking Flurry to visit her grandparents for a couple of days, love Cadence.
P.S: I left you a little clue of what you are going to see once I return
Curious I turn to see the other paper next to the cart before backing away I see that it was a picture on Cadence striking a sexy pose while wearing socks and rising her tail so he can see her vagina and tits both of them cover on vanilla frosting, as well as winking at the camera.
Dear god how is it possible that wearing cloths make her more appealing? Shaking my head I and taking a moment to be able to stand up again I proceed to think of somewhere to hide while I still can. Twilight where the hell are you?!
"We can still warn Candy about this, where is Spike?" Shining ask following Twilight
"In Canterlot, princess Celestia ask him to come for an special assignment"
"Perfect then we can go to Canterlot and tell…"
"…and even if we get him it will not be of any good remember? He can only send letter between princess Celestia and myself the spell is very specific"
"Then we send the spell ourself"
"We would need some hair of Cadence to make the link" Twilight mentions "And the spell requires a day of preparation before it can be used for the first time"
Shining Amor kick a stool in anger "Then we do something else!" Taking a moment to think, he breath and then looking at Twilight "Sis…we NEED to warn Cadence"
"I know Shining I'm also concern for her and my friend" Twilight tells with a smile and nuzzle him in an attempt to calm him down "The poor mare must be very worry about you right now"
"That is not what I'm worrying about Twily"
"Is not?"
Shining sigh and look at her "I don't want to tell you this because it will ruin your image of Cadence but well…Candy could sometimes have 'needs'"
"What? Oh come Shining we are talking about Cadence not a changeling in heat, she can control herself, we both now that" She laugh but stop when she notices his brother not changing of expression "…right?"
"I hope so Twily, Cadence could be smart but when she gets on the mood she gets in the mood, sometimes so depth that her judgment start to cloud. Maybe enough for her to ignore her judgment. One time we were force to cancel day court for a week just to keep her calm and prevent her from…ah…no forget it I will not ruin your image of her"
"N…no! Cadence is not like that, she is sweet and caring and likes to hugs and give kisses and receive kisses and…oh sweet Celestia she is like that!" Twilight say in realisation as her fur start to turn white.
Shining can only nod as he look throw the window "And two days ago she stated to get into that mood again"
"Shining you are not seriously thinking she will…?"
"I don't know and that is what is driving me crazy, she would not be cheating on me because its my body but its not me…so its technically a plot hole and she would like to exploit it unless we explain the situation" He say on a hurry as he start to look up books
"Come on Twily there must be something here that can help us anything!" He yells as he look throw books until a paper appear in front of him
"What the…" He look at the scroll and then at Twilight "Did you do that?"
She shake her head and take the scroll "That is weird, if the princess send a message it should had come to me, why did the aim was so off?" She open the scroll and then gasp in surprise
"What? What is it?" Shining take the scroll and start to read it again before groaning and look at the roof "Oh you got to be KIDDING ME!"
"What do you mean the train to Canterlot is close?" Cadence ask with Flurry in his heart as the pony in charge of the ticket boot try to explain the angry alicorn
"I'm sorry princess but its the windigoes mating season, its simple to dangerous to venture in that route the railroad is complete froze and no train could sustain the cold"
Cadence sigh and nod "I understand, thanks for telling me"
"I'm deeply sorry princess I can give you a ticket to our other routes if you wish"
"Not its ok, I needed that place in particular, thanks for the help" she say goodbye to the pony and leaf the train station, while levitating Flurry to her and nuzzle her check "Oh my little sweetheart, I love you but for now I can't have you in the castle your daddy is really sick and needs my full attention, if only there was a pony that could look after you for a couple of days while I cure daddy"
Flurry giggles and Cadence can't help but smile at her daughter face when suddenly she see Sunburst passing by. And her eyes wide in realisation
Of course! Sunburst could help, he is trust worth it and Flurry loves him he would be perfect Cadence think before rushing toward him with an evil smile
Start preparing Shiny, once I drop Flurry, I'm coming for you She mentally say to no one as she lick her lips.
After dodging yet another maid on the castle I finally manage to find refugee on the royal library hiding on geographic section.
How the hell did Cadence manage to pull all of this in one night?
After being able to leave Flurry room, I discover that when Cadence say she would bring her A game it wasn't and exaggeration. First she somehow convinced all the maids in the castle to have a more 'revealing' type of uniform and wear light make up while performing her duties, not only that but I swear each time I pass by I swear they were purposely dropping objects near or in front of me as well as taking their sweet time picking it up. Then at the dinner table I was pretty much force to eat my breakfast using a poor mare as a plate and milk dispenser(don't judge me I was famish at this point, and something were telling me that I would need the energy) while the chef and maids were busy hard at work or having a desert type of food fight in the kitchen. I didn't knew what was worse, the fact that I felt in the middle of a very bizarre porn movie, or that they were both cleaning and messing the place up at the same time. It was both disturbing and impressive.
But all of that pale to what happen when I finally manage to reach the throne room where Carefree was waiting for me. "Carefree" By instinct I just hug her before looking her in the eyes "Thank you so much that you are still the same, ever since I wake up, I have felt like I'm in bizarro land, please tell me there is tons to work to do"
I say with a smile, that soon banish when I see her looking at me with a serious expression "Ah…hi?"
"Princess Cadence explain everything to me this morning your highness"
"Oh"
"I can't believed you lie to me, prince Armor…if that is your real name, I was indeed really worried and though you shouldn't be working, why didn't you told me about your condition?"
"Look its complicated ok? I really need to sort things up in my head and though that work could help…and it did"
"You make a party!"
"I will not have this conversation with you as well" I say getting a bit angry for being scowl despite being technically her boss. Something that Carefree must had notices as she resume her normal self "I'm really sorry my prince I did step out of the line"
"Its ok, this has being a crazy day, so what is in the agenda?"
"Princess Cadence already plan your day sir" Even though her voice was as emotionless as ever that sentence send chills to my body. "C…Come again?"
Carefree only nod "Yes, since your meeting with the giants came to be a royal success she schedule another one with another ambassador that has being giving us some problems on the past" She say as she start to list the names on the meeting.
"The queen of the succubus"
"Ah" I say holding my hoof in between my teeth in worry.
"The ambassador Nefertities, first minister of the deer nation who's custom include having sex with the ruler of the kingdom they made friendly connections"
I repeat the process getting more scare.
"And empress Crescenta, ruler of the griffin empire of the north"
"Oh that one doesn't sound so bad"
"Who princess Cadence ask me to remind you, has a crush on you since she saw you on the first royal meeting of the kings and queens of the north and its a strong believer of open relationship and polygamy marriage"
My eyes shrink to dots at the mention of that detail "…and now its the worse of all. Ah Carefree is there a way…"
"…I will not cancel their meetings sir, Cadence orders"
"Ah t…then I as prince of the crystal empire order you…"
"…and since you have a medical condition at the moment, you are in no position to demand changes of orders that came from the princess herself your highness I'm really sorry. And no, you can't skip from them either, no showing in this meeting will be risking the empire to fall into a war with any of those nations"
Ok Cadence that is just not playing fair, at least leave the kingdom alone
I sigh and shake my head for a few seconds before getting surprise when I felt something holding my checks and make me look up, to see Carefree looking at me with the same expression "The princess also gave me explicit orders to help you relax and let the process run its corse smoothly"
"Carefree what are you…"
"…Do not worry my prince, your wife gave me authorisation and made sure to teach me how to do this, and just so you know I think of you each time I masturbate"
Before I could do anything else I found myself being kiss by Carefree as she enter her tongue in my mouth and start to spin it with surprise accurately and care. The sensation of it and the image of Cadence teaching her how to do this, was enough to make my mind go hazy for a second before regaining control and separate us.
"I…I have…"it took me a minute to regain my breathing before speaking "Carefree…I'm a married stallion!"
"Its ok my prince like the princess say, we have permission, please allow me to help you restore your mind" She try to kiss me again but I quickly dodge, her advances and start to back away "Ok Carefree lets say that we are not thinking clearly lets take a moment to think this thought and remember that I'm your boss!"
"As you wish sir, you are the king and I'm the servant that is madly in love of you and is willing to obey any command you desire " only the fact that she decided to smile at this moment made me gulp "And I mean any command…master" Carefree whisper the last part making me back away even faster until I felt something soft and round behind me.
Looking back I was left speechless when I saw Carefree wearing lips stick and the same revealing outfit the other maid have. "Oh your highness" Looking down I saw that I was pressing my back against her butt witch made me back away in shock "S…sorry I didn't mean…"
"…if you wish to hold my flank you only needed to ask" she say with a predatory smile as she and Carefree start to circle me "I'm here to serve the royal family, in any way I can… Including being your royal wet nurse"
"Ah I…I think Cadence can produce milk for Flurry Hearts"
"I wasn't talking about her" She say licking her lips
Without warning they both launch at me but in a panic I found myself able to teleport away resulting in the collision of both of the mares who drop into the floor unconscious. Looking at them I sigh in relief
Thank god magic prowess is a family thing…wait, my shield…I mean Shining Armor shield magic! of course, if I manage to discover how to used I may still have a chance
In the distant I heard hoof coming my way and fearing to be more crazy mares I decided to dash in the opposite direction.
In one simple night, that mare manage to take this entire castle and turn into the playboy mansion, with me acting as Hug Hefner. Worse of all this is probably the wet dream of any stallion, I should be happy except that its another stallion right to be here! If this is what Shining Armor have to pass by, on daily basis then I have found a new layer of respect for that dude
Hiding from another sexy librarian I manage to read another spell book in the hope to find something that could help.
Thank god Twilight taught me how to write and read their language or by now I most likely had being figurative and literally screw
Groaning in frustration I toss yet another book that came to a death end and fall into the floor in defeat.
Its not used, nothing here would work, I give up
"You better have just made a joke"
Looking up I was confronted by a transparent Rainbow Dash wearing the same Obi One outfit that Pinkie used. "Oh your feet dude, this is far from over"
"But what can I do?, I'm complete surrounded, powerless and vulnerable, Cadence just strip me of any form of defence"
"Then you will pass to the offence"
"What?"
You heard me right buster, I might just be the manifestation of the determination Dash teach you but it will be a cold day in hell before I let you throw the towel before giving a fight
I stand up still looking at her in confusion. "Ok assuming I can fight, how exactly would I do that? My objective is specifically not get laid and now its appear Cadence just gave this mares green light to take a shot at me, how do I fight that?"
Using the same weapon they are using on you
"You expect me to seduce the entire staff?"
Dash smile and nod "Exactly, if all this mares want to polish your road so much, they will most likely faint the moment you turn the tables"
"But in doing so I will be losing I can't have sex in this body it will break the bro code"
"But there is nothing stoping you from doing anything else right?"
"Of course not…that could be…"
I see you are getting it, technically its still bad but its to preserve the code and Cadence already proved that she is not planing to play fair, so if that is the case you will have to do the same
I nod and smile but then look at her in confusion "But what if they don't fall?"
"Trust me, they will if the expression of your secretary and nanny were any indication, remember they will win if you gave them power, if you take it back they will be nothing but jello on your hoof. Now stand tall show your chest and make them so wet that they will faint"
"I'm still thinking this is wrong, something in this is not exactly right"
"Do you prefer be part of an orgy?"
"No"
"Then stallion up, go there and take no prisoners" Dash say before disappearing and giving me new strength.
As I walk, the librarian discover me and rush to my side only this time I was prepare.
"Oh your highness came to take some books" She say bathing her eyelashes "May interest you in some nice reading from a special…shelve?"
I smile and surprise her by getting closer "Tempting but I think that I have something else in mind"
"Y…you do?" she say starting to blush and smiling
"Oh yes, you see my wife and I have being doing some research in the arts of biology, particularly the pressure points a stallion could press on a mare to make reach orgasm, unfortunately we appear to have reach an impasse" I get closer to her ear as I see her body tremble "Care to give me a hoof? You will not have to do much, just help me found out how many orgasm a mare could sustain, before passing out" I whisper into her ear before bitting it.
The next thing I knew, I heard a splash sound and saw how a smoke cloud form on top of the mare head before she collapse in the floor with a face complete red and a goofy smile on her face.
Je so THAT is how you go for the offensive, hmm its a start but I still need something else I can't take all the castle for myself…myself I look out a window and I see the citizens of the kingdom going around their daily basis. Witch gives me an idea.
Well this is a civil duty and Twilight told me that as long as they are not married its fair play I smirk as I start to charge my horn
Time to get some reinforcement In a flash I teleport out of the room.
"Oh Shining~?" Cadence say in a sing song way while she skips inside the castle with a predatory smile.
"Where are thou~?" She continue with an innocent tune before giggling
By this point he must be hornier than a chimera on heat. And even if by miracle he manage to hold on his defences more be almost drop. Once I take it away his inner beast will take over and my Shiny will be back to normal
As her skips continue the sudden sounds of moans coming from a broom closet catch her attention as she look at it
No! He wouldn't…well I no strangers to threeeways either, lets see who is the lucky mare!
The princess smirk as she open the door but froze in place once she saw one of her maids in the middle of being buck from behind by a stallion that she couldn't recognised before. "Ah princess, do you mind…?"
The maid say with a blush as she and the stallion slowly close the door after they manage to recover the initial shock and soon resume their work
What the…?
Soon the princess ears are assault by moans coming from other directions and when investigating she finds the same situation happening with other stallions all over the castle.
Who are those stallion? where did they came from!?
Cadence mentally ask in alarm as she start to run toward the throne room in search for some answers
Once she reach it, the first thing she notices is how Shining is sitting on the throne with a calm smile on his face reading some documents with Carefree next to him with a blush. The moment he heard the doors open he lift his head and then smile at Cadence.
"Oh hey honey, where were you? I was getting worry"
"You, what exactly…?"
…Wait stop! If I give in it will be repeating last night
Cadence say to herself before shaking her head and then smile at him while approaching her own throne. "Don't you remember Shiny? I just came back after leaving Flurry with her grand parents"
Well leaving her with Sunburst but I think it will be better if he doesn't know where is she for now
"I see, so you really did it" I sigh and the silence is interrupted by the contain moan of Carefree. Cadence looks at her with a raise eyebrow and in that moment notices that Shining horn has being active this whole time and the papers he was being looking at were being holding by their assistant magic. "I really were hoping you didn't came to this extreme but after thinking about it, you were right its best if Flurry doesn't get involve in this little…fight we are having"
Cadence nod with a smile "Couldn't have being agreeing more" She then give Carefree and glance "Miss planning, could I ask what are you doing? I specifically told you…"
She shakes and fall down never letting go of the papers "I…I'm sorry princess, but the prince manage to…agh!" she flinch and orgasm before just be able to speak incoherences.
"Please don't be mad at her Candy" I tell her with a smile "She was only doing what you order her" With a smirk I get closer to her and then whisper into her ear "I just simple work around the order"
Cadence raise an eyebrow but then glance at Carefree and notices how her vagina was shining the same color as Shining Armor, making it contract and wink.
Magic masturbation? hmmm clever, nothing in comparison to the real thing but if he has being giving her the treatment for a while…je clever colt
She smirk back and start to whisper
"Is that why, there are strangers attending the staff around the castle?"
"Don't be cold sweetie, they are all citizen of the crystal empire who I reach and ask for help doing their duty with the mares on the kingdom, the poor things where in suffering asking for the joys of being a mare and craving from the touch of a stallion"
Cadence flinch the moment she finds my hoof passing on her chest and blowing on her ears resulting on her wings to flinch a little. "In their eyes all of those stallions are me, attending to their needs, faming their dicks inside their wet pussies while fulfilling their wildest dreams, if you close your eyes too that could be you as well my sweet Candy"
My hoof go south and start to play with her now erect nipples as her wings sprung to attention "You only need to give me cast a small spell on you, making you go to lala land" I say in between kisses before joining our foreheads "You will only need to give me the green light"
Shining you better appreciated what I'm doing for you
By now Cadence eyes have gone back as I decided to get bolt and reach her pussy where I start to circle around her labia teasing it and making it wetter and wetter by the second until her tongue hang lose.
The image is enough for me in victory until I get confused when in a second Cadence compose herself back and smirk back. "No thanks, I prefer the real deal"
"What the" I was about to remove my hoof from her but Cadence keep it there with her own and then start to trail her wing toward my dick giving it a massage and almost making me faint for the soften texture treating my equipment with the most care, obliterating all efforts to remain in control, and now putting me in a really dangerous situation. As Cadence whisper into my ear.
"Allow me to repay the favour"
"Cadence why aren't you…?"
"Oh my sweet Shining, you ARE starting to remember" To my horror I see her smile on complete happiness before hugging me while still at work and force my hoof to go dipper into her vagina how might as well be consider an oven for how hot it was "This just bring me so many memories, of colleague when you and me decided to masturbate one another in breaks and even during classes"
What?! My eyes shrink to dots at that Oh for pit…were this two a couple of rabbits in heat?
Cadence giggle as she stop her actions and tight the hug making my dick press against her fur making things even worse. "I can't believed we never did it on the throne of our own castle. But now that you remember this, we finally had an excuse to do it" She looks at me with teary eyes "And now you have make this dream into a reality, oh I'm so happy that I could…"
Without a way from escaping I was left with no choose but to receive the full frontal assault of Cadence sweet kiss and her far superior tongue treatment for what I though was an eternity in bliss. Until she breaks it and put her head on my shoulder.
"Oh forget curing you, now I want you to put another baby in me" The color in my fur just complete drain when hearing that.
Oh hell no!
"Oh and by the way" she looks at me with a innocent smile "You haven't win yet, maybe you manage to foul and deal with the staff on the castle but those were just the warm ups"
"What are you…?"
In that they hear a knock on the door and I gulp in realised what she was talking about "Didn't Carefree told you? We have guest to entertain"
"Oh now…the princess!"
"That is right~ Oh and remember they specifically ask for you in there so no trying to sneak around ok mister?"
I could only nod as she start to walk toward the door, her flanks hypnotising me until I shake my head trying to keep my mind away from her. "Crecenta, Nefertities, Lillith I'm so happy to see you again"
Looking back I saw how Cadence hugs and slime well dress female griffin witch 3 yellow feathers poking from her head, a mare that kind of resemble Celestia if she had pink hair and her fur was slightly greyer and young doe in the prime of her life wearing purple kimono, all three with a smile as they return the hug. "We are happy to see you too Cadence"
Their smile soon turn predatorily when they all lay their eyes on Shining Armor "And we sure are happy to see you too king Armor" They say at the same time, making my mind get reduce to a single word
"Never, not in a million years!" Shining proclaim while crossing his arms.
"But Shining, that is the only way" Twilight tells him "And we are running out of time, right now Cadence could be be having her way. Not only that, but you read the letter, do you really want to leave princess Celestia waiting for an answer? Think of her feelings"
Shining sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose "Of all the stallions on Equestria why did she had to pick him? She could have had any other if she wanted to, what does he has that others don't?"
"Well…for starter he don't bow to her like the others do, and the princess told me that she found that, bravery very appealing and…" Twilight shake her head "We are going off track botton line, this is the first time in all of her life that the princess has even show interest on dating, if you refused or take too long to answer her poor heart would break…please Shining" Twilight say with puppy eyes.
He sigh and grunt "Ok, ok, fine we will try that…just call him already"
"Thanks" Twilight smile and then charge her horn who soon after summon Discord in the middle of a poker game with some dogs. "Full house!" he announce putting his card down before realising where he is and sigh before looking at Twilight emotionless.
"You know, I have a door bell"
"Sorry Discord this is kind of a emergency, you see…" Twilight try to explain him but Discord already snapped his fingers and make himself and the dogs disappear and re appear in the shoulder of Shining Armor "well, well, well what do we have here?" He chuckle and knock on his head. "This clearly is my buddy but its not exactly his mind" he say passing throw his ear and appearing on the other ear with a grin "Did someone play switch the brain? Oh I love that game, can I play?"
"How…did you knew?"
Discord soon appear on a detective outfit "Elemental my dear Watson" he poke Armor head with a pipe as he speak "As spirit of chaos I know all that involve changes on logic and disharmony in the world"
That make Armor get mad "You knew it from the start!?"
"Maybe?" He say with a grin before banishing his outfit and moving away from Armor who try to punch him "Oh dear prince are we angry today? maybe you should relax, would you like me to call your dear wife? oh wait, maybe she is already taking care of the issue, do you feel your body relaxing?"
"Aght!" He keep trying to punch him but Twilight stop them. "Enough!" she then look at Discord "So its true you already knew?"
"Well half of it, I knew that something happen, not who or why it happen, think of me, like a chaotic magnet" he say turning into one and attach himself to Shining.
"Enough of that" Shining push him away and Discord just float in front of both "Can you fix it?"
"Can I fix it? Oh lets see, the most powerful being in Equestria could move two brains back into their originally bodies?, Oh I don't know" He say sarcastically before looking at him emotionless "You know, its starting to gets annoying how you ponies keep asking me that question"
"So…can you help him?"
"Hmm depends, what is it for me?" He say with a smirk.
"I'm in need of help and you want to extortion me?"
"Hey, the fact that I'm reform doesn't mean that I will just move earth and sky each time some pony drops a hat, I'm not a genie" He say shrugging.
"Unless its Fluttershy the one that drop it isn't it?" Twilight say with a smirk
"Je jokes on you, she doesn't wear hats"
Twilight came with an idea and start to pass around him "You know Discord, it will be of your best interested to help us"
"Oh really? And why is that?" Discord say not paying attention as he look at his claws.
"Well, you might not know this but my dear brother used to be quiet the ladies stallion back on his day" She comment confusing Shining.
"Mares of all places were butter on his hoofs the moment, he start to flirt, how do you think he got Cadence in the first place hmm?"
"Aja, that is cute, but I still don't see why should I care…"
"…and if you don't help him, he might get lonely, and would need a shoulder to cry about…maybe even Fluttershy" That make Discord to stop and, Shining to realised what was Twilight getting at making him smirk.
Discord turn to him with a glare "You wouldn't dare"
"I don't know Discord, Twilight is right, each minute that pass, I'm getting more and more worry for my sweet Cadence, she might even do something very bad and if I don't prevent her I will devastated"
"And what type of sister would I be if I don't help my dear brother by taking him with the perfect mare to cheer and help him up in his darkest moment" Discord start to panic at the image, as Shining continue.
"I have heard stories too, Fluttershy would probably help me so much, she seem kind, sweet attentive…hey I just though, would it be cheating if I used another body?"
"No!" Discord jump in panic "Stop, I will help, I will help, just do not involve Fluttershy in this"
They both smirk at him. "We knew we could count on your help" Twilight finally say making Discord grumble. "Well play Sparkles. Ok you two keep close to me, you would not like to leave a hoof behind while we teleport"
They both nod and get near Discord as he prepare to leave. The second he was about to snap his fingers Pinkie burst to the door "Twilight!" The yell its enough to scare all 3 of them as they are teleported in a instant.
"Huh she must had being on a hurry, oh well I ask he if she want to come to my party when she comes back" Pinkie say shrugging her shoulders and leaving an invitation on a near by desk before leaving.
After that unfortunately meeting with the three present, follow by their own unappropriated way to greet me, things start to mellow down a little, sure like Cadence said this princess clearly had the hots for Shining Armor but despite their high libido, all of them surprisedly behave like proper ambassadors when it comes to be serious. I suppose they obey the rule of a time and a place.
Don't complains here, the less time they spend focusing on me, the better. It all would be great and dandy if it wasn't for prince Lillith constantly looking at me from the corner of her eye like I was an fascinating science fair project. "Ok that is it" I put down the paper I was pretending to read before looking at her. "What is so fascinating about me?"
She just look at me with a raise eyebrow "Pardon?"
"Don't play coe, ever since we sit down you have being checking me out each five minutes like I just did a backflip, what is the deal?"
"I apologies prince Armor its just that ever since I arrive there has being something…different about you"
"Ah…different how?" I ask with a raise eyebrow not noticing that the other princess also heard that and now were all looking at Lillith with interest.
"I'm can't put my hoof on it but there definitely something different with you, I mean you are the prince, look, walk, smell and even have the same magic as the prince but for some reason I can't help but feel like I'm not looking at the prince, something with your aura, its different than what it used to be…"
Wait? She can detect that I not Shining Armor? That is great, I could tell her and together we can convince Cadence…
"…and I like it" Lillith say as her eyes turn lustful "I love it when someone are a mystery to solve, almost like you are just another pony who switch body with the real prince"
"Je…that is oddly specific, ma…may I ask what would you do, if that really happen?"
"Oh I will be jumping at you of course!, I have experience many pleasures in my past, but having the experience of lay with a stallion who mind does not match his body is something I haven't had the pleasure to experience yet"
"But what about those with medical condition or that they identify themselves as the opposite gender?"
"Oh I have experience those too, but that is not the same, their auras are still the same" She say with a smile.
…Never mind, she is just as horny of not more horny than Cadence
"Really?" I notices Cadence smirking at me "Curious you are telling me this Lillith because there is something you might like to hear, you see my husband…"
Before she could continue the front door of the room bursting upen and from it, Twilight, 'me' and of all people Discord rush, or rather crash into it with a thud.
Je about time! I'm save I let go of a breath I didn't knew I was holding as I notices how the three rise again and stare back at us.
"Cadence!" Before any of us complete to register what was going on Shining was already hugging Cadence like a soldier that has just return to war "Oh Cadence I'm so happy to see your face, being apart from you for so long has being torture. I just needed to hold you again, smell your perfume, and taste your lips once more"
Shining say getting extremely sappy, really fast before connecting his lips with Cadence who just look at him in but fear and horror. Can really blame her either considering that to everyone else present to the room it looked like Discord just kiss the princess of love while the real Discord now in my body was falling on the floor from laughter as Twilight jaw just hit the floor from the shock.
Ok now this just turn even weirder
Feeling how the princess were looking at me I decided to act quick while there was some kind of dignity for them to save
Shining please play along!
I beg as I jump at full speed and in one hit manage to land a clear hit on 'Discord' cheek breaking his connection with Cadence and throwing him into the floor, before getting into a defensive stance between me and Cadence.
"How dare you kiss my wife!" I say faking anger "Reform or not you have gone too far Discord, I will do what I should have when you join Tirek"
"What?!" Shining say standing up in anger "Your wife!, your wife!? Is this what you wanted? this was your end game all alone to ruin my…" Shining start to yell clearly not noticing his new body yet, and being cut short with a blast of magic from an enrage Cadence who walks besides me.
"Hope it was worth it Discord" She say with her eyes shining white "Because it will be the last thing you ever do"
"What?" Shining and I start to get in panic when we notices her horn start to glow. "Cadence wait!" I force her to see me in the eyes "You can"
"Yes I can and I will…he just…he just…!" She say in tears
"I know…and death will not be enough!" That make her stop and look at me in surprise. "He just humiliate you sweet heart, and will pay for it, but if you end his life, then you will only end his upcoming suffering"
She keep staring at me before smiling "You are right, death will be too easy"
Nodding I put Shining in a magic bubble and start to leave the room with him floating besides me. Stoping when reaching Twilight "I will explain everything to Cadence you deal with the other princess and give us some time" I whisper into her ear making her come out of the shock and then nod.
"Lets go honey, we need a lot to discuss" I tell her dragging Discord by the leg as I leave with Cadence soon behind confused a little into why I was brining the human too
"You did WHAT?!" Cadence say in shock and look at all 3 of us as I finish explaining the situation me, Shining Armor, and apparently Discord too were currently are"
"We somehow switch bodies, I still don't know how it happen exactly but it did"
"Cadence sweetie please believe me, this might not be me, but I'm really…" Shining try to talk to her but she only moves away the moment he try to put a claw on her shoulder. "Don't touch me" She say apparently still shaken from the scare.
"So do you believe me know when I say I'm not Shining Armor?"
"Oh please say no, the chaos of this is so wonderful" Discord say acting like a kid on christmas eve.
"And what are you so happy about? you just lost all of your powers and became an ordinary human" That make him stop and his eyes wide in realisation "Oh right"
"How did that happen exactly? I though you were the strongest magician ever, how did you got an accident like this one"
"Two words…Pinkie Pie"
"Oh" I nod in realisation before looking at the poor Cadence trying to process what was happening and Shining was doing his best to console her.
"W…w…wait, h…how can I be sure that you are the real Shining Armor?" She say pointing a hoof at him "Its clear that magic was involve here, but how do I know that you are not Discord playing me a prank"
"Oh you gave me to much credit princess, but trust me, if I wanted to pay you a prank I would had morph into Shining Armor first" Discord comment with a smile.
"That still don't convince me, you will have to prove me that you are really you" Cadence tell a still a bit scare.
Shining for her part just get closer to her ear and whisper something that to both mine and Discord utter surprise make her blush and spring her wings.
Ok how is that even possible how is that ACTUALLY possible, ever since I wake up, Cadence has being extremely open with her sex life, left and right, what thing could Shining Armor has that can embarrass her so much?
After that was done Cadence only look at Shining Armor in surprise "Shiny?"
"I'm home Candy" He say with a sweet smile as they both hug with tears on their eyes "Shiny! its you its really is you!, I was so worry I have lost you"
"Je Equestria would have to do better than this to break us apart" Shining crack as they share their moment making me smile and sigh in satisfaction knowing that the nightmare was over.
"Oh by the way Sun Butt has a crush on you" Discord casually say making me nod before registering what he said.
"What?!"
"There is still something I don't get it though" Cadence say breaking the hug and then looks at me. "How did all of this ever happen?"
"Je join the club princess the last thing I knew before walking up as Shining Armor was going to sleep" I say with a shrug
"Oh I can answer that" Discord proclaim "And don't worry this one is going to be for free because I had so much fun" He then walk to Shining and put him next to me before start walking around us.
"First of all, tell me buddy what were you doing before going to bed?"
"Twilight and I were experiment a spell on myself"
"And why were you doing that?"
"Because I wanted to see if she could grant me super powers, witch she did." I say with proud "Thanks to her magic I can know lift things with my mind"
Discord smirk and snap his fingers "And there is your answer"
"Ah I think you miss a couple of things there dude"
"Am I? Didn't Twilight warn you about the risk of having this powers"
"Of course she did…she told me to…" I stop in realisation of what was happening. "Say it" Discord tells me with a raise eyebrow
"She told me not to think too much on anything before going to bed"
"And what did you do?"
"I though to much of something before going to bed"
"Wait…you were thinking about me?" Shining ask confused.
"No of course not…I was thinking about seeing I start a relationship" I say with a blush on my face and looking the other way. "I though I was finally ready to take the step and I didn't knew where to begin…so I though about you guys and what a nice couple you made. I might had being a bit jealous and might had wonder what would it be like to be in Shining Armor shoes…ah hoofs"
"Je wish granted" Discord comment and Cadence slowly approach me with one of her hoof on her chest looking rather surprise "You did this, because you wanted to know what does it feel to be on a relationship?" She suddenly smile at that "That is so sweet!"
"Je can't really blame you for wishing to be me dude, I do have a really happy life"
"Oh you silly colt" Cadence smile give me a light push "If you wanted to learn about relationship so much you only needed to ask"
"Yeah its not like we wouldn't like to talk about, on the contrary we love to tell our story and help others find love" Shining say with a smile
"Je well I suppose, its too late to ask now right?" I mention scratching the back of my head.
"Not necessary" Cadence mention catching me off guard
"Say what?" I notices how Cadence and Shining look at one another before nodding and then looking at me "Since all this mess started with a simple question I believed it will be fair if you at least got the answers you are seeking"
"What?"
"And there is nothing you should be worry about dude, since you keep your bro code, I can let this one slide, I mean I know how Cadence could get, and how sometimes nothing in Equestria can stop her"
I just stare at them in shock as Discord sneaker. "Plus, now that the air is clear Candy and I could do the better of this situation and help you out while having a bit of fun"
"Please tell me you are joking"
"Oh don't be scare it would be fun" Cadence say with a smile before whispering into my ear "And not cheating since you are still my 'husband'" I blush and my jaw drop as I notices Shining "Y…you can't be serious!"
"Hey, its a one in a life time opportunity, plus it will allow me to have that father daughter camping trip, with Flurry that I always wanted to try"
"Ah…I…I don't know if this really ok?"
"Of course it is, you have our support, and now that you will be dating my aunty with more reason I will help you learn everything you will need to know about relationships"
Shining nod and smile before glaring at Discord "Now if only you could switch us back"
"Trust me, I would like to return to my body as well" Discord say inexpressive "So if only you think in our brains switching bodies and then snap your fingers that will be great"
"That is all I need to do?" Shining ask confused
"Yes, yes that is all, now please switch us back" Discord say a bit impatient. Shining nod and close his eye before snapping his fingers yet nothing happen.
"I'm waiting" Discord said getting more tick off but the same result keep happening until Shining look at his hand before looking at us "Ah…a little problem?"
"Ok explain to me this again" Twilight say getting frustrated about me and my companions situation. It was really tricky to convince all those princesses how Discord was forgiven, but after some negotiation, deals and kisses from Shining, we manage to convince all three of them that Discord was apparently playing a role for a theatre and we summon him on the worse possible moment. Something told that they didn't buy it, but after a demonstrated, they decided to let the subject go.
Now Cadence has taken over the meeting while Twilight and us went to the royal library for some explanation and hopefully find a clue on how to fix it.
"Since Discord got scare…"
"…How YOU got trap in my brother body" Twilight interrupt me with clenching teeth
"I…by accident make it happen"
"And how did it happen?"
"Come on Twilight is this really necessary?"
"Do you want me to call Shining maids here so they can jog your memory?"
"Ah!…ok, ok I was thinking about seeing if I get into a relationship and though how Shining Armor had a really good luck on that subject"
"Right after I gave your 'super powers' you were pestering me about all week?"
"Oh come Twilight you have…"
"Ladies?"
Three maids start to approach me "Ok, ok yeah it was after that"
Twilight make them stop "And what was the one thing I told you not to do before going to bed?"
"Thinking hard on anything"
"And what did you do?"
"Thought really hard on something"
"Do you see why I didn't wanted you to have that power? This is exactly what happen when ponies that don't know what they are doing mess with advance spells"
"But its ok right? I mean you can fix this…right?"
"If preferable me first, I really starting to miss my body" Discord say looking at Shining who is still trying to snap his fingers to change back "Give it a rest prince, its not going to happen"
"Witch I still don't get it, why Discord powers aren't working now?" I ask with a raise eyebrow.
"Because it would make sense if it does, right Discord?" Twilight answer with a sigh as she look at the dragon whistle while looking away "Discord!"
"Ok you got me" He chuckles in admission "But you only have half things right" He adds "Yes my powers have this tendency to work different than normal magic, but the truth of the matter is" He grab Shining Armor shoulder "Dear old brother doesn't have any experience with my power, so of course it would work the same way" As to prove his point Shining accidentally invert his gravity "See? You need a particular type of mind to wield my kind of magic" His eyes wide and he smile while looking at my hand "Which mean I have YOUR magic here? Oh tell me dear Twilight, what else did you gave him"
"Don't even bother that was a trial spell, that I put to see if he could really handle having magic" She glares at me "Clearly he fail so don't even bother asking me to do it again is not gonna a happen"
"What? A come on Twilight can't you..."
"Not. Happening" She mark each point by pressing her hoof against my chest making me sigh in defeat and disappointment
"Well..."Shining step in "That is good and all but then if I can't used Discord magic what do we do?"
"Luckily now that I'm here, I know exactly what happen, and know of a spell to fix it" She start to charge her horn "Ok everypony just close your eyes and clear your heads I will fix this al..."
"…Wait!" Cadence suddenly interrupt getting an idea and startle Twilight who cancel the spell "Let not be hasty here, perhaps we could take advantage of this situation before reverting it" She bring a hoof under her chin.
"Cadence what are you thinking?" I look at her in worry as a smile slowly form on her face.
"Sweetie, I know that smile and normally I would be on board, but think carefully, is this really the time and place?" Shining ask equally worried.
"Oh ho, ho is the princess of love having some...chaotic thoughts?" Meanwhile Discord was starting to get excited.
Lastly Twilight could only blink and look at the others unsure on what is Cadence thinking.
Once Cadence was done thinking she turn to look at me "Tell me something, all of this started because you were jealous of what me and Shining Armor have, right?"
"Trust me it all gone after what you made life through"
Cadence only give him a dead pan and raise an eyebrow "Really?"
"...no" I confess looking down in shame "If it wasn't for the bro code, I would be more than excited to try...a lot of what you were offering"
"Ja can't really blame you, bro" Shining agrees with a nod "She really is a mare of many surprises" He look at her in disappointment, "Although we agree on save the princesses for our anniversary."
"I know honey but you know how I can get when you play hard to get, I will make it up to you I promised"
"For the love of Celestia please stop!" Twilight beg them "I don't want to have that mental image"
"Speaking of" Shining remember and hand me over a letter from Celestia "Sorry, though it was important so I read it. I told her to give you a bit of time to process it before replying, though you wanted to give her a proper answer"
"Princess Celestia...is asking me out...on a date?" I ask out loud slowly turning to the rest making Cadence glee and clap her frontal hooves.
"Ok that settle it, NOW we are so gonna a take advantage of this situation" She mentions in barely contain excitement before going back to normal and resting a hoof over my shoulder "As I was saying all of this started because you were jealous and wished to know what would it be like to be on a relationship right? Well what if I give you just that? The full relationship experience"
"What? But Shining..."
He interrupt me raising my hand before I continue "It ok dude you have my permission. Besides isn't something Candy and I aren't familiar with, so consider this like some practice before your date, be honest with me, wouldn't you prefer been more prepare for that date? " He points at the letter.
"I...I don't know" I confess not sure on what to do with so many things happening so fast.
"Do it" Discord suddenly suggest, "You have come this far, so why not. Do it, in fact do it while in that body! It will be fun seen Sun But reaction, oh please, please, please! I will grant you one free favor and..." Twilight and Cadence combine their magic to shut his mouth.
"Of course there will not be any pressure, either" Cadence affirm me "Now that everything has clear up, I promise I'm done with my games, and I will help you properly from now on. And if you still don't want to, we can switch bodies like you wanted."
I pounder about it for a second "...and the princesses?"
"Will think of something to send them away...unless you want to..."
"Not...at least for now" I answer half harder making her raise an eyebrow in intrigued.
"Huh?"
"I...can I think about it?"
"Sure, take sometime" Cadence nods before turning to Shining and Discord "Just before you leave, it will be ok if we..."
"No messing around with my body Cadence!" I warn her immediately
"Aww but this is a once in a life..."
"NO! And I swear I find lipstick anywhere when I get it back and I will never talk with any of you ever again" I warn her with a stern gaze making her sigh and look down
"Fine, we will discuss it at another time"
I decided to ignore her last comment and leave the room to get some fresh air.
Finding a balcony where there were no one I lean on the rail and take deep breaths trying to process everything that was happening.
Oh my god, I'm actually consider it?! What is wrong with me?! This isn't my body! Why would I choose to stay on it any longer?!
"You know the answer of that partner" Startle I turn to my side and see Applejack on the same Obi-One get up causally leaning on the rail and looking at the sky before turning to see me with a smile "The princess might be a horn bitch eager to lick your bone sort of speak but you can't deny. She does have a point."
I sigh unable to argue against her logic and looking down at the city "...Yeah she does, but why do it like this?" I lift my hoof so AJ could look at it.
"Well avoid scandals for starters?"
"Huh?"
"Just think about it, you on a date with her? The press would never leave you alone? But the prince and princess having dinner? It another Sunday in the Cristal Kingdom, and before you tell me about "her duties" Don't you think she already thought of that? I bet she had an idea on how to deal with them as well. So really, what is there to think about it?" She points at the letter "You want to say yes, don't you?"
"...Yeah?"
"Wouldn't you prefer to have some practice and get some tips before the big date?"
I can only nod at that logic
"Then stop with the excuses and be honest with yourself partner! Shining already give you the green light, so what is stopping you know? Come on dude, time to get your ass into the rodeo"
And with that AJ disappear leaving me alone with my thoughts as I pounder everything carefully. By the time I'm done the sun was starting to set as I march to the throne room where one of the maids told me that Cadence, Shining Armor, and Twilight were at the moment. The other ambassadors were currently on a tour with "me" acting as a guide around the kingdom and weren't expected to return for at least one more hour.
Steeling my nerves, I slowly open the door where the royals notices my presence as I stare at them with neutrality. Cadence smiling as she stood up and approach me. "Well? Did you have time to think it over?"
"I did and after a lot of consideration I decided...to take your offer"
"Good choice bro" Shining nods at me.
"Well this would be something unexpected, and yet at the same time intriguing" Twilight hums in thought at the prospect Cadence suggest and how it will happen in the end.
"Wonderful! Oh I'm so happy, you have my word. You will NOT regret this, my aunty is gonna a be a very lucky..." I summon a shield bubble where I trap the princess of love before she could hug me.
"BUT I have demands" I mark putting the mare down as she look at me confused. "That is my condition, so either you take them or we switch brains right now" I tell with finality.
Blinking a couple of times the ponies look at one another before slowly agreeing "Sure? As long as it doesn't compromise the lessons, what do thought?"
"First of all, sex is off the table"
"Really dude? you want to pass on that chance?" Shining Armor to my confusion is the one that ask that.
"Dear god you two are made for one another" I ask in shock as they smile with some embarrassment and reply simultaneously "Thank you"
"Wasn't...a compliment, and I mean it. Not either with me here, or me body" I point at Shining Armor
"What? So you expect me to settle for just cunilingus?" Cadence ask in shock.
"CADENCE!"
"Fine, fine off the table" The princess eyes wide as she smirk at me "For me"
"What?"
"As you said, off the table completely but if YOU want it..." She only giggle making Shining shake his head "Oh honey, you can be such a tease at times"
"Hey it only fair, he is leaving me high and dry here" Cadence tells with finality as well "So that is only fair"
I can only roll my eyes at her immaturity "Fine, I will try to control myself too"
"Please don't"
"MOVING on" I ignore her "Two: Kisses, hugs and nuzzles are ok. I imagine I would need to know them so I don't touch anything unappropriated for my date with Celestia"
The mares glee from excitement as they nod rapidly
"And 3: Maybe you could look after me for when I go on a date? It would feel more relax knowing you can give me tips in case I mess up at some point"
"That sounds more than fair, I was even going to ask you if I could that myself" Twilight confess with a sheepish smile. "Is there anything else?"
I look up with some embarrassment "The thing this morning with the other princesses...? Can something similar could be arrange when I get my body back?"
Cadence smirk and place a wing on top of my back "I think I can arrange something, let take things one step at a time. And trust me, you couldn't be in safer hooves. By the time I'm done, I might have to start calling you uncle" She tease as we advance out of the throne room. Realizing the implication I can't help but gulp unsure of what exactly did I agree to.
With the first rays of sunlight hitting my face, I groggily open my eyes and saw the sunrise throw a nearby window in one of the castle guest rooms. The memories on how I manage to convince Cadence to let me sleep in another room still fresh on my mind, as I could only both chuckle and dread what might she and Shining Armor might have done while he was inside Discord body. And definitely decided turn a blind eye into what Discord might be doing in mine, thanking god that he didn't have any of his powers and in exchange for helping him out with future pranks, promised that he would be on his best behavior.
Once I was done with my morning routine I kept staring at Shining reflection in the mirror and sigh not really looking for to start the day, and keep destroying the image of Cadence I had until a couple of days ago.
"You shouldn´t be so hard on her, she only want to help, you know? Hearing the voice of Fluttershy I don't bother looking back, as I was more than used to this apparitions by now.
"I try to Fluttershy" Finally turning I look at her in concern "But it kind of hard to ignore how she has been...extra friendly with me because of my face. Or how casually she has been about her love life. Wouldn't you be as red as a tomato too if you were on my shoes?"
Fluttershy can only look away with a small blush "W...well yeah you are right. B-But that doesn't take away the fact that she only wish the best for you!" She acquires a more determine pose "And has been kind enough as to be patient, understand your situation and respect your space...sort of, mostly now! That she knows the truth I mean look she even let you stay at one of her guest rooms"
"Yeah you are right"
"And while it true she has been...acting a tinsy bit strange. Her heart was always on the right place and I'm sure she would tone down on her advances. So you should stop worrying and gave her a chance. After all she is the princess of love, no the princess of lust"
I nod again and felt how she put one of her hoof over my shoulder "Just try to be patience with her, and think that she only wish to have a bit of fun teasing you when she get extra friendly. You would be surprise how far a bit of kindness can get you.
No more relax I small at the apparition "Thank you Fluttershy I needed that"
Closing her eyes and smiling Fluttershy nods once before disappearing.
God I hope this apparitions are temporal and side effect of been on someone else body, otherwise I will freak out! Rubbing my head I exit the room and get ready to start the day.
Heading to the dinning room I was please to see everything seemly back to normal. The maids were on their regular uniform, their demeanor seem to had switch back to a more relax and friendly nature and other than the occasional harmless firth and compliment they seem to be acting as if nothing had happen.
It a bit unsettling how they change their tune so fast but I'm in the body of their prince. If Cadence manage to explain things to them, I bet this is just as weird to them.
Entering the room I found Cadence and Shining enjoying of some breakfast, and playfully teasing each other. I briefly had to remind me that the prince was currently inside Discord body and try to picture his face on top of the dragon in order to make the scene less weird"
Noticing my arrival they smile and beacon me to get closer.
"Ah the man of the hour is here! Come in, come in!" Shining encourage as I take a seat and soon after a maid serve me breakfast. "Did you sleep well"
"It was hard at first with so much in my mind but eventually, yeah I slept well"
"Soooo...." Cadence bring her front hoof to her chin and smile wide at me in anticipation "What did you respond to my aunty?"
"Well, I ultimately decided not to tell her my current predicament fearing she might think I was just making excuses and decided to tell there is a personal emergency I had to take care first but after it resolve I would gladly take her to dinner."
"Wait you are choosing the place?" Cadence ask in alarm
"Well yeah, though it could be the least I could do after leaning her on for so long" I reply with a shrug and a raise eyebrow "What is wrong with that?"
"Oh honey what you done?" She bring a hoof to her face and shake it in disappointment
"What? What did I do wrong?"
"In our society is the mare who ask the stallion out and pick the location" Shining explain "The other way around, if a single stallion says that, it show that you don't trust her, view her as desperate and you are only picking the place out of pity and to make a quick date."
"What?! But I...I though..."
"It ok! It ok! This can still be fix" Cadence suddenly tells making some breathing exercises "You only need to send another letter explaining how in your culture the courting rituals are backwards, like dragons. NO! No dragons, dragons rituals involves fights and plenty of blood!" She quickly correct herself
"Yeah sure, but how do I explain I just found out a day after my reply when it has been a couple of days?"
"We will figure that out too!" Cadence bellows with some fear "For now you are not permitted to write any other love letter without me been in the room"
"Ah that wasn't a love..."
"Are we clear?!"
"Ok, ok, yes we are clear"
Good, she manage to calm down and resume their breakfast "Then eat up, we have quite the couple of days ahead of you, the sooner we get you ready the sooner my aunty could get her date!" She yells the last part getting excited once more.
Nodding I decided to start my breakfast in peace before noticing something missing "By the way, where are Twilight and Discord? I really hope he is not messing with my body now"
"Relax, Twilight has an eye on him and while I'm on his body he doesn't have his magic" Shining demonstrate summoning a pod "Je getting good at this, anyway they just left with the other rulers, and went out to ski on the mountains near the kingdom.
"Huh didn't new the place had a place to ski"
"I might show them some other day, it a great place to bring your significant others" Cadence mentions with a smile.
"Je you add a extra (S) there Cadence"
"...sure let go with that" Cadence finally answer after a pause where she only smile confusing me briefly until I shrug and decided to let that one go.
The following 3 days I spend it learning all about dating and what to do and not to do on a first, second and even third date with a mare.
Luckily much of them seem pretty obvious like pulling her chair, do small chit chat, avoid personal or intimate topics fairly easy to remember and master while others on the other hand.
"...And remember, this all the 3 no-no's until after the third date" Cadence explain pointing at a chalk board "Length of her tail, her wings and puff of their chest fur" She demonstrate the latter by puffing her chest and made more aware of that section of a mare anatomy that frankly if not for her I never notices.
"I don't mind, but more often than not, mares take issue with this subjects so don't bring them up! No matter what!"
"But what about mares that have really short tails?"
"Those are ones that had hair accidents...or whores" She answer expecting that question
"Ok...wait is that why Celestia and Luna always wear those breastplates?"
Cadence smile and nods "Now you are starting to get it.
Later on Cadence brought Discord in to show me the poses I need to know if I had to dance.
"Ok listen up, for this part you will have to memorized the hand positions" Cadence explain before standing in two legs and guiding Discord up "Right hand shoulder, left hand middle of the barrel, see?"
"Aja"
"The walts its back, forward, left, back" The start to demonstrate the dancing moves "Keep eye contact at all time, mind the horn and be her center of balance, notices how my wings are tuck in. That is because I'm trusting you to keep me in place without falling"
"And if you want to make her epp cutely do this!" Discord adds and suddenly spin the princess before making a dip, resulting in the mention 'epp' from the princess.
"DISCORD you promise"
"No I promise no funny business, this is equally important candy buns, our Romeo here needs to now to be a dash spontaneous too" He reply with a smirk looking at Mark "Now, if you want to turn her face red, you only need to touch..."
"NOOO!" Shining and I yell in horror at his joke making him laugh as he brings Cadence up.
The last lesson by far were the more surreal, in which I was introduce to the most unique part of common dating in Equestria society.
"Remember, a herd can have as many mares as the core couple wishes too, but it must first be discuss and equally approved. If a mare already had a pre determine herd in mind when courting a stallion, that is call a pre made herd"
"What about herd of the same sex, or with more than one stallion?"
"Do you want to explore either?" Cadence ask with a smile and raise eyebrow.
"No"
"Then don't worry about them, it will hardly matter until you interact with other herds and that is too far down the line. Now in order to court a mare into your herd..."
"Ah Cadence quick question, but what if neither I nor Celestia wish to start a herd?"
She doesn't respond and just look up in thought "Didn't though of that, but well. You never knows, love can be such an unpredictable subject, for now just humor me with this little bit ok? Let face it, you are intrigued are you?"
"...yeah" I can only sigh and look down admitting her claim, seeing that there was no point on denying it.
"Perfect, in that case, where was I? Oh yes! How to court her, well for starters you will have to see if there is interest, now that you have a mare with you, it will be ok so you can pay attention to her tail. See if she get a bit playful with it."
"Playful?"
"Trust me, all mares have their own way of doing so, but you will know when it happens. Here let me show you an example"
"Ah Cadence!" I try to argue with her but one look was all it took to understand she wasn't gonna a back down from this, so it was really important or she wanted to at least have that. Either way, it was clear I was testing her patience. "Go on" I finish making her smile once again and proceed to turn around and show me various way to be 'playful' with her tail. Ways that range from subtle to downright exhibitionistic.
Part of me wanted to convince myself that it was inevitable but deep inside I knew that for a while now I was curious to see her lady parts. And for what I see, I had to admit, for a lady that gave birth, Cadence was in a pretty good shape, her pussy was pristine and tight. There was a bit of fat around it, and there was a bit of muscle poking out, but over all she really had a very alluring pussy that was starting to get my mast to attention.
"Did you get all that?" Snapping from my trance I saw Cadence in shock as she look at me with a knowing smile and a raise eyebrow.
"Y-Yeah! Yes, playful tail, stay alert, ask Celly if she wants in, got it!" I focus on my notebook writing gibberish at a fast pace pretending that I wasn't caught red hand, yet the laugh of Cadence was all the confirmation I need to knowing that wasn't the case.
Days Later, back at Canterlot
Feeling some anxiety, Princess Celestia takes some glances at the street while she waits for her date at the entrance of a fancy restaurant. Instead of her usual royal attired, the princess opted to wear a gold and white two pieces dress that accentuated her curves and show a bit of her chest to achieved some alluring factor, as well as some minor jewelry to match her outfit, and some light eye shadow and purple lipstick to complete the assemble. Despite feeling and knowing she was simply radiant, the princess couldn't help but feel nervous, since she has been out of the game for more than a hundred years, and was beginning to question if she still have game.
"Princess Celestia?" Turning around the princess was stunned to see the human wearing his fanciest black suit staring back at her in equal shock as they absorb each other assembly.
"You look fantastic" We said at the same time giving us pause before laughing
"You first" Celestia won me for like one second as I finally spoke.
"Thanks and wow, princess I just...wow"
"Thank you" A part of me felt pride watching her turn her head with some heat on her cheeks "You don't look so bad yourself" She smirks and return the compliment before using her magic to readjust my tie a bit "If I knew you could get this dashing I would have ask you out sooner, who knows. I might have to invite you to more elegant events just for an opportunity to keep seeing you like this"
"Thanks, ah princess this is for you" I go ahead and give a frilly all white gather belt, per Cadence instructions. While knelling I just keep thinking how ridiculous and backward the hole ordeal was.
What am I doing, this is suppose to be take out, not put in. And even less on the very first date!
Despite my mental rant and how I was doing something I consider very intimate, Celestia didn't seem to mind all to much and even extend her frontal right hoof allowing me to place the item in question before it disappear on her dress, as the whole thing was the most natural thing in the world.
Once done I stood up and Celestia only look at me with her usual serene and calm mind. "My, my sir. forgive me for assuming but I wasn't expecting such detail knowledge of our customs" She flutter her eyes in approval and let go a small giggle as I was still blushing hard.
"Yeah what can I say princess, this is my first date and consider you are royalty. I didn't want to mess everything up, so I kind of ask someone to teach me a little" I confess with some embarrassment while looking away.
"Seems like you found a very skillful one at that, for what I can see, but please" She put one of her hooves on my leg. "There is no need to pressure yourself for my sake. I'm more than aware how hard it must be for you to date when our customs are so different to yours"
"I know but well, the lest thing I wanted is making you feel unappreciated or uncomfortable"
"Then that makes us two, and please there is no reason for tittles either, this is not just another meeting, it just you and me having a good time. So call me Celestia, or Celly if you please"
"W-With that really be ok?"
"I would be extremely offended otherwise" She playfully add with a smirk.
"Ah come on Celly, that is just not playing fair"
The princess only let go a small laugh "Everything is allow in the affairs of love dear, now come, come. We have quite the night ahead of us" The princess issue extending one of her wings and guiding me inside the restaurant. I didn't have much to complain, specially since I was loving how soft her wing was against my back. Taking a glance back I saw how Cadence and Twilight were giving me the signal while hiding behind some bushes as I nod and look ahead of me for my date.