Flurry Heart's Potty Day
Pity poor Shining Armour and Cadance. Their daughter Flurry Heart seemed all sweet and innocent on the surface, but the sad truth is she could be a real hoofful when stirred.
All of the precious memories that mothers and fathers took for granted when applied to their young foals, turned out to be a battleground when applied to the young alicorn. Some cases in point:
*Her First Tooth: When the dentist went to poke at it, she near blew him halfway across Equestria in her ire. He can now be found catering exclusively for the geriatric crowd, and he hasn't stopped shaking since.
* Her First Steps: Neither parent was around for this special occasion, and seeing as she'd been banned from flying from the dental incident, she took creative license with her punishment by stepping over to Sunburst's supply cupboard of magical ingredients... Needless to say, when Mummy and Daddy returned home later they found a giant hole in the wall, a very frazzled orange stallion and a giggling baby on her stomach. Not many others shared her amusement, though.
*Her First Words: Nope, not either one of her parental figures, but a bizarre incantation she learned from somewhere. After everything had stopped floating that day, and Celestia's nose had changed back from being green, a law was proposed that all rare magical tomes should be kept under lock and key. It met little opposition, other than from a distraught Twilight who had a bit less light reading to do at bedtime.
Next up was of course, teaching their darling how to use the potty. Usually, this would be a relief for most caregivers, as it would represent the end of the difficult nappy-changing phase and issue in a new era of independent toileting. The age of incontinence is gone, long live the epoch of the lavatory.
With Flurry Heart though, as with all the other milestones in her young life, nothing was easy... and Cadance got together with Shining Armour one sunny afternoon to thrash out how to best handle this upcoming quandary. So far, all their best ideas had been thoroughly debunked by the pair, and they'd pretty much hit a stone wall in their deliberations.
"I'm still paying off the interest from the last rampage she went on, after her pacifier was taken away..." Shining Armour's posture was slumped, and he had his head in his hooves. "A soldier's salary can only stretch so far, you know. I don't know what she's going to do when we remove her nappy, and tell her to pee in a bowl..."
"Relax dear, I'm sure it'll all work out fine..." Cadance remarked, wishing she could be as confident as she sounded. "She may lose her temper a bit sometimes, but she's still our darling little girl. We just have to take a firm hoof with her, and never give up..."
"...And if we do that, she'll just end up blowing us to kingdom come again!" Shining Armour sighed almost in defeat, before a distant memory stirred an even more desperate reaction from him. "I do love our daughter, but there are times I wish she was more like Twi was at her age. Now, that was a roll in the hay, comparatively speaking..."
Cadance nodded her head, about to reminisce on some on the good times she'd had with the former unicorn when she was still Twilight's babysitter, when a sudden flash of inspiration came into her head. "Shining Armour..." She smirked knowingly. "I may have an idea..."
"Huh?" The captain of the guard twitched his ears inquisitively as his wife whispered in them, and judging by his elevated grin all of a sudden, he seemed to like what he was hearing.
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"Flurry Heart, I'm not going to tell you again! You're a big girl now... and it's high time you acted like a filly and used the big girl's room!"
"No Mama, don't wanna!"
"Flurry Heart, listen to your mother! We've prepared this room especially for you, with your own custom made potty! Now we've taken away your nappy, so unless you want to pee in front of everypony, you'll at least give it a try."
"No Dada, you mean!"
"Flurry Heart, if you won't do this for your parents or yourself, will you do it for me? I want to attempt an experiment today, and I need your help. Won't you please, as my favourite niece, be my guinea pi... I mean, lab partner for the day?"
"...Okie, Auntie Twi. I twy."
Cadance and Shining Armour glared at Twilight in annoyance, and the alicorn could only shrug her shoulders sheepishly as Flurry Heart went in the newly carved-out alcove in the Crystal Castle before slamming the door.
The lavender alicorn was pretty much the only pony their daughter listened to these days, the tales she'd told the youngster of her adventures across Equestria with her friends had captivated the foal, to such an extent that she wanted to be just like her 'Auntie Twi' when she grew up, and no overprotective stick-in-the-mud parents were going to stop her.
"So, are you absolutely sure this room is going to hold, sis?" Shining Armour raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"Of course, do you doubt my methods?" Twilight huffed back, before going on to explain. "I was able to enchant the crystal so it became practically indestructible, even from the most severe of magic blasts. That includes the potty, also present in the room. I'm positive we'll soon see some very good results..."
"...Yes, but did you factor 'Flurry Heart' magic blasts into your equation?" Cadance had complete confidence in her friend, but even she doubted things would be that easy. "I mean... we're not just talking about standard unicorn blasts here, you know..."
"W-Well, we'll find out soon enough..." Twilight tried to pretend that the uncertainty of her companions wasn't getting to her, as white light seemed to stream from under the doorway of the room where Flurry Heart was in, along with a loud banging sound.
Yup, it looked like the little hellion was up to her old tricks. Cadance and Shining Armour braced themselves for the inevitable demolition and smoke that would follow, while Twilight just crossed her hooves for the best...
And, nothing happened.
After about ten minutes or so of loud 'fireworks' the cacophony of noise died down, and all was still. Looking at each other with concern, Cadance and Shining Armour opened up the door hurriedly to find...
An exhausted-looking foal, now big, brave Filly, all tuckered out from her exertions at trying to destroy the wall, which had produced precisely zero marks on it. Also untouched was the potty, which happened to be full of...
"You did it!" Shining Armour picked up his daughter joyfully and bounced her in the air.
"We're so proud of you!" Cadance sighed in relief, that Flurry Heart had apparently learned a lesson without causing carnage on a grandiose scale.
"My experiment! It was a succes... I mean, well done, Flurry Heart!" Twilight made a mental note to record her blueprints for posterity as soon as she got home.
Among all the wild celebration, nopony had noticed that Flurry Heart had levitated her potty with pee still inside to her hoof, because she was getting quite sick of Shining Armour playing catch with her, making her feel a bit nauseous to say the least.
"Ow!" Remarked the stallion, as he felt himself bashed over the head.
"Silly Daddy!" Flurry Heart continued to chase him around the room even after she was put down once more. Her potty made for a powerful makeshift club as she smacked him over the head with it non-stop, while urine was splashed everywhere indiscriminately.
"Hey, that potty may be indestructible, but your Daddy's head isn't!!" Shining Armour winced, as he began to count the number of lumps on his head. His skull was sure going to be sore in the morning.
Cadance turned to Twilight with an exaggerated eye roll. "The joys of motherhood. You don't know what's you're missing out on, Twi..."
"Yeah, I think Spike's are the only 'pitter patter of tiny feet' I want to hear in my lifetime..." Twilight replied, as the two of them continued to watch an enthusiastic Flurry Heart's assault of Shining Armour's cranium unabated.
Still, one step at a time, eh?