The Spaces Left Behind

The Wizard in Canterbury Woods

I stood outside the throne room and waited.

There was some noblestallion having audience with her at the moment, the herald had told me, though what about I did not know. Nor particularly did I care. It had been many years since I had involved myself in these politics.

Truly, I could not quite remember the last time I had been to the palace itself. It was comfortable being back here in the Everfree though, within these walls I had once been so intimately familiar with.

It did not appear that much had changed since last I was here. Still, the same rugs and tapestries adorned the halls. The marble floors and walls were still immaculately polished. The large, ornate door I stood in front of was still as I remembered.

All that had changed were the guards and servants that walked the halls, and perhaps me. I had grown much older now.

Presently though, those doors silently swung open, taking me away from my thoughts.

The herald poked his head out and gave me a patient smile when he saw me. “Madam Clover, Viscount Greenwood’s meeting with Her Majesty is about to conclude. It will only be a few moments more.”

“Thank you.”

And then the door closed.

I let out a small sigh and glanced at the royal guard to my right. He did not acknowledge my presence in any way, and neither did his counterpart to the left.

You would think that, for a mare as old as I was, somepony would at least bring me a cushion or something to sit on. As it was, it was hard enough for me to walk around these days, and I had been waiting here for well over an hour now, standing the entire time.

Still, besides my ailing joints, I did not mind the waiting. It was to be expected. Celestia was a busy mare, after all. I had sent advance notice of my arrival, but I did not expect her to drop whatever plans she had for the day just to meet with an old friend.

Though, what I had to speak with her about was no doubt an important matter.

It was some five months ago when the news first reached me.

Starswirl the Bearded, the Royal Sorcerer, my former mentor, my dear friend, had disappeared, vanished from his laboratory here in the castle with nary a trace.

And nopony could find him.

There had been search parties of course, some even led by Celestia herself, but they had not found hide nor hair of him, both within Equestria and in our neighboring lands. He was well and truly gone, with no clue as to why.

And he would never be found, if what I believed had finally come to pass.

That was why I was here now. Celestia deserved to know what had happened to him.

She needed to know.

I knew she was distraught over his disappearance. He was one of the few true remaining friends she had left. All others, the guards, the townsponies, the nobles, treated her not as a mere pony. When they looked at her, there was only reverence and awe.

I was the only one left of the Founders. Platinum had passed away just a scant year ago, and the others much before then. Puddinghead. Smart Cookie. Pansy. And, Hurricane, in all his brash bravado and reckless decision-making, had been the first to pass, though not of old age. Instead, he had died at the tender age of forty-nine while fighting off a pack of manticores that had been terrorizing the fledgling township of Haychester.

But now, with Starswirl gone, I was the only one that remained who knew Celestia personally, from before we had convinced her to take the throne and rule over Equestria.

And, I knew that I would die soon as well. I could feel it creeping up on me.

Had Luna still been here, I would not have been worried. Together, I knew that the two sisters could have made it through anything. But now, even in the few years that Luna has been gone, I could see the burden of ruling alone begin to take its toll on Celestia. Already, she seemed much older than she had before. More tired. More sad.

I was afraid of what would happen when I was no longer here, and she would finally be alone.

Once more now, the doors opened, though this time fully.

From out the throne room exited who I could only assume was Viscount Greenwood, a haughty-looking stallion who appeared angered over whatever events had transpired inside.

He brushed past me, muttering something under his breath that I could not catch, and then stormed off down the hall.

I gave him only a passing glance before the herald came out to greet me, as unflappable as one would expect. “Madam, Her Majesty is ready to see you now.”

“Thank you.”

And so I entered the throne room with my head held high, mentally steeling myself for the task ahead. I looked ahead, up to the dais where upon Celestia sat, only to immediately feel a twinge of sorrow somewhere within my heart.

Even now, Celestia sat beside an empty throne.

Luna’s black and purple ebony throne drastically stood out amidst the whites and golds and reds that were indicative of Celestia’s crest. It was a disheartening sight that gave me some pause.

I too had counted Luna among my friends, as did the rest of the Founders. Her fall from grace hit those of us still alive harder than the rest of the country, save for Celestia herself.

We had all played a part in Luna’s decision, I liked to think. None of us had noticed anything the matter. None of us paid her any mind. None of us had noticed when she grew withdrawn and angry.

It was only when, in a flash of rage and annoyance, Luna had slain poor Puddinghead right in the middle of the castle courtyard that we realized that anything had been wrong.

And by then, it was much too late for anypony to try and change the course Luna had set down.

We only found out much later that Puddinghead had been trying to throw Luna a little party, to cheer her up, because of course that stallion had been the first to realize that Luna’s heart had grown wicked.

Some time ago, Starswirl relayed to me that, when all was said and done, Celestia made the decision to keep her sister’s vacant throne beside her. He told me that, by her reckoning, it was a way to honor Luna’s memory, as well to serve as a constant reminder of her failures to her sister, as if the Mare in the Moon, as they had begun calling it then, was not enough.

To me though, I think it was mostly that she missed her sister dearly, and desperately wanted some part of her to be near still. After all, she is still maintaining Luna’s bedchambers, for very much the same reasons, I believe.

Though Luna’s much darker throne seemed to steal my attention, I eventually broke away from it to look at Celestia instead.

Still, she too looked just as I remembered her. As young and radiant as ever, though that was only to be expected. I would almost have been jealous, if I had still cared about my own appearance in my old age.

Now, I found my hooves once again and took a few more steps into the room. I had been standing on the threshold like a star-struck filly for far too long. The throne room had brought back too many memories, many good, some bad.

The herald quickly followed behind me as I entered the room proper, the doors shutting behind us.

With practiced movements, he stood just to the side of the entryway, and with only a slight harrumph, he spoke, his voice easily filling the room.

“Presenting Madam Clover the Clever, Co-Founder of Equestria, Esteemed Former Secretary of Education and Magical Affairs, High Magus of the International Guild of Sorcery and Magical Beings, Former Head of the Department of Magical Regulation and Transportation, Former—”

“Please,” I cut him off, “That is enough. There is no need for circumstance at the moment.”

He seemed affronted. “Madam Clover, I must—”

“Sir,” I spoke calmly, “If you were to list off all of my titles, current and former, we would be here until I dropped dead. I would very much like to spend what little years I have left doing something more productive than listening to you drone on.”

One of the guards flanking the door tried to suppress a laugh, but failed miserably. He instead tried to play it off as a cough, but it was quite obvious.

The herald glowered at me, as if he was trying to decide whether or not to continue arguing, but then turned away. He ground his teeth and spoke again, the annoyance clear in his voice. “Presenting Madam Clover.” He paused here, then, “Etcetera, et al.”

I dipped my head in thanks and continued forth into the room, before coming to a halt an appropriate distance away from Celestia.

Now that I was closer, I could see the barest hints of a smile had fallen upon her lips. I fully expected she found my dressing-down of her herald amusing as well.

“Clover,” said she, her voice full of warmth, “It is good to see you.”

“Likewise,” I said, as it was.

“I was very glad when I received word you were coming. It has been…some trying months, as you no doubt know.” For just a moment, her expression shifted, slipped, but then snapped back into place. I knew seeing me must have reminded her of Starswirl.

Nevertheless, she continued, “I have not seen you in a long time. What has it been? Two years?”

I nodded in affirmation. “I believe so, yes. Even longer since I was last here at Everfree.”

“My, that is quite a long time. There is no excuse for you to stay cooped up in your home for so long, even if you are getting older!”

I shrugged. “My studies keep me busy still, not to mention all of the ponies that flock to me for advice and answers and whatever else garbage they want to ask me.”

“Ah yes.” Celestia shifted the positioning of one of her hooves slightly. “I do know what that is like.”

“True. But at least you have ponies to vet your propositions and requests beforehand. At least once a month, I have ponies show up wanting to know what the secret of the universe is, or whatever else asinine rumors and questions they think I know the answer to.”

That small smile of hers returned to her face. “Ah well, just be thankful you no longer have to deal with the politics here. I doubt very much you would want to deal with all the headaches here over a few wayward truth-seekers.”

“Oh believe me, even to this day, I thank the powers that be that I got out when I did. I never had a head for politics, even when I was serving as Platinum’s advisor. I have no desire to deal with your problems any longer.”

She nodded in thought. “Though, I do get the sinking feeling that your being here will only add to my list of problems? I assume this is not a friendly visit, is it?”

I smiled. “If anything, I hope to alleviate at least a few problems. I do not intend on causing any new ones.”

Celestia clapped her hooves together and leaned forward. “Well! In that case, I am even more excited by your presence here! You should have led with that.”

“Oh, I see how it is. You only care about me if I am of any use to you. You would not give me the time of day if this was a mere social call.”

“See? I knew there was a reason they called you clever. I am glad you understand.”

I finally broke and a gruff laugh escaped from deep within me. I smiled at her. “I have missed you, my friend.”

She bobbed her head gently. “Likewise.”

There was a brief stretch of silence, and then she straightened up, slipping back into a manner more befitting the Princess of Equestria.

She stared down at me, our banter laid aside for the moment. “Now, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

To the side of her throne, the court scribe put quill to parchment, preparing to transcribe our conversation.

This was it. I took a deep breath and locked eyes with her own. “I am here about Starswirl.”

Celestia’s entire body seemed to perk up at the words. She leaned forward slightly, all of her attention now focused on me. “Have you found him? You know where he is?”

I waffled, gently scraping my hoof on the plush rug. Of course I had to go and get her hopes up. I expounded further, “Err…not, uh, not exactly. But I do know what has befallen him. Or, at least, I have a theory.” I gave an embarrassed smile.

“Well? What is it?” Then, before I could even say anything, Celestia motioned to one of the guards standing beside her. “Go ready a platoon. I will be leading them on this search personally.”

“No!” The shout of protest escaped my lips before the guard in question even had time to salute. He stopped short, glancing between me and his princess, quietly waiting as to what exactly he should do.

Celestia blinked in surprise. “No? Why ever not?”

Her expression had been so…optimistic. I hated to even have to say these words to her, to dash her hopes so. I could not meet her gaze. “He is not…” I hesitated. “He is gone. Lost to us, forever.”

Immediately, Celestia visibly deflated, her ethereal mane almost appearing to slow to a halt. She sunk back into her throne and did not move for some moments.

“…Gone?” Was what she eventually said, her voice naught but a whisper. “He is…dead?”

I grimaced and shook my head gently. This was not going at all like I had planned. I was getting flustered. I very much needed to explain this better. “Not in as many words, Princess. He is beyond our reach.”

“What do you mean?”

I let out a deep breath. “I… It is a complicated matter. I am still unsure how to explain it properly.” I paused, then, “I have never told you about the time I first met him, have I?”

Celestia tilted her head to the side. “…I believe I was present the first time you two met.” She chuckled. “When he had discovered that you and the other Founders were responsible for vanquishing the Wendigos, he wanted to ask you all manner of questions and to perform tests of some sort.”

“No,” I corrected firmly. “See, that was the first time that he met me, but not the first time that I met him. There is a distinction between the two. I had met him before he met me.”

Celestia’s eyes met mine, but she did not say anything. I could practically see the thoughts swirling in her head as she pondered just what I meant. It was not often she knew not what to say.

So instead, I filled the silence.

“You knew him, Princess. It is a peculiar tale only fitting for a peculiar stallion such as he.” I allowed myself a small smile. “I… I have known this day would come for much time now, though I was not sure when. That is why I have waited until now. I wanted to make sure that he was well and truly gone before I said anything.”

Celestia nodded absentmindedly, and then turned her attention to the guards standing throughout the room, her voice suddenly harder than it had just been. “Please leave us alone.”

The order hung in the air for a moment before anything happened. From beside her, the scribe ceased writing and peered over her bifocals at Celestia. “Your Majesty, I must object. This is hardly proper court procedures. I—”

“It was not a request, Seneschal. The day’s open court is now concluded. Please, leave, and express my deepest apologies to those still waiting outside. We will begin again tomorrow at our normal hour.”

Then, one of her personal guards also spoke up, “Your Majesty, I too must—”

But her retort came just as quick as the last. “Sir Fauchard, I assure you that I will be just as safe with Madam Clover here with me as I would be with all of you. I would very much appreciate it if you would kindly collect the rest of the honor guard and vacate the room. If you must, you can guard the doors from the outside, but I am allowing you to take the rest of your shift off.”

Neither the scribe nor the guard spoke again, but neither did they move.

“Please,” she said again, her face blank, her voice level, “I would like to speak to Madam Clover in private. Please do not make me pull rank.”

Again, neither moved. The room itself was holding its breath.

Then, the guard sharply saluted and spun in place, turning to one of his fellow guards. He jerked his head towards the door, and every other guard in the room immediately began to file out.

The scribe sputtered for a moment, obviously upset, but then too resigned herself and followed suit.

It had not seemed like there had been so many ponies in the room when I had come in, but it took several full minutes for everypony to leave. I was a little awed, to be honest.

The sound of clanging armor and the clip-clop of hooves echoed throughout the room as the guards took their leave, closely trailed after by whatever other officials had been hiding in the corners.

Last though, was the herald. He stood at the door, his eyes casting once more around the room, and then, seemingly satisfied that we were alone, he turned and exited.

Celestia’s voice rang out, “Thank you, Barleycorn.”

He did not respond.

The grand doors closed with a thud.

And we were by ourselves.

There was silence.

Neither of us made a move.

I gazed up at the throne.

In front of me now was Celestia. Not the Princess that had just occupied the same space just moments beforehand.

She smiled sadly at me as she finally let go of the mask that had been slipping from her face since I had first entered the room. Her expression fell and her entire posture sagged as if bearing a heavy weight.

This was the pony that I knew. This was my friend.

And she was hurting something fierce at the moment.

Without a word, I approached the dais, taking each step carefully as I went. Yet, I had only taken the first few before, Celestia, in all her kindness, sprung to her hooves up and helped me up the last five steps. Even with her assistance, it still took some time. I was not quite as spry on my hooves as I once was.

Still, we made it to the top. The twin thrones. I quietly thanked her and made to move away, but she held me fast. Again, I tried to pull away, but then she began moving again, gently guiding me toward Luna’s throne.

For only a moment, I hesitated, resisted, but then allowed her to tenderly ease me down into the cushion. I did not believe anypony had sat where I was sitting since Luna herself. At any other moment, I would have been touched, but now was a time for more serious matters.

Celestia sat down beside me, in her own throne, and placed a comforting hoof over my own. She smiled at me, this one just marginally brighter than the last. “You have gotten older since last I saw you, my friend.”

I laughed at the sudden joke, only for it to turn into a sort of cough that wracked my entire body. It seemed that she still had the same sense of humor that I remembered. This sort of levity had always come easy between us.

When my fit finally subsided, I lapsed back into a few short giggles before mustering a response. “Well, I do hear that there is a certain alicorn that goes around and siphons the youthfulness out of unsuspecting ponies in the night, so that she may maintain her own appearance.”

Celestia put a hoof to her chest in mock affront. “You do know that sort of slander against the Princess of Equestria is illegal? I could have you thrown in a cell without a second thought.” She paused. “And then I could drain the rest of your youth, and nopony would ever find out.”

We laughed again and then fell into a companionable silence. I had missed this, I realized. I had been living in the hamlet of Shorne for some years now, ever since I had retired from the Princess’ inner council.

It was an easy life, but, much like Celestia was seen as the Princess, I was only seen as Clover the Clever, Founder of Equestria, student of Starswirl the Bearded by my neighbors and all the others who sought me out.

Maybe, when I was done with this, I could spend what time I had left here in Everfree. Me and Celestia were now the only two left from the time before Equestria was founded. I was over one-hundred and eighty years old now. I could think of worse ways to spend the rest of my life than in the company of a good friend.

And, maybe, I could find the energy for one final project. To ensure that Celestia would not be lonely when I was gone.

But, that was a matter for another time. For now…

“Celestia…” I tried to steer the conversation back to the topic at hoof.

She dropped her gaze from mine, instead staring out into the vast, empty room we sat in. At the pillars, the marble, the tapestries, the permanent scorch mark from one of Starswirl’s wayward spells on one of the walls. “I know…” her voice trembled, “…I know…”

I placed a reassuring hoof on her back. “He was an amazing stallion. I do not believe any words I could say will ever do him justice, but—”

And then, something unthinkable happened.

Celestia began to cry.

It was a gentle weeping at first, barely even noticeable, but then, I think the dam finally burst, and everything that she was feeling was unleashed. She turned to me, her face streaming with tears, and I wrapped her in as tight a hug as I could.

For a while, her violent, ugly sobs were the only sounds in the room.

They echoed across the stone walls.

There was not much I could do. I thought it was better for her to cry herself out, and any comforting words would only fall on deaf ears.

She had so much of this bottled up and my heart broke to think that she had nopony to speak to about what was troubling her. She was the Princess. She had to stay strong for everypony else. She could not waver. She could not cry.

But for right now, she was only a mare. A mare who, in a little less than a decade, had lost just about everypony she held dear, including her sister, who she thought would always be by her side. And now, the stallion that had practically raised her had vanished, and she never even got the chance to say goodbye.

At some point, I stripped her of all her accouterments. Her tiara. Her torc. Her shoes. She did not need them right now. She was not the Princess at the moment.

And so, I sat there with her, just holding her. I sat there until her eyes had no more tears left to give and her wails subsided into gasping breaths. I sat there until she finally found the strength to speak.

She looked up at me with red eyes, her entire body quaking in my grasp. “I-I lov-loved him so…so mu-much…”

I blinked back the tears that were threatening to form in my own eyes and gently stroked her back, struggling to find something to say to her. I was not the most eloquent or the most emotionally sensitive of mares.

“…I know…” Is what I eventually said, “I-I loved him too. Th-the world is a little bit darker without him.”

But Celestia continued her rambling unabated, as if she did not quite process that I had even said anything. “…He w-was like a…like a f-father to m-me, you know? To me…to me an-and to Lun—” She broke off, devolving into sobbing once more.

“Ssshh…” I cooed, “It is alright… Everything is alright…” I could not find it in myself to say much more, as I was devoting most of my energy to not joining her in crying, lest we two old mares end up wallowing in pity the rest of the day.

I had already expended all my own tears some months ago, when I first had heard that he had vanished. I had to keep it together now, for her sake.

“Whe-when, he disappeared, I-I… I just…I just miss him so much! I cannot… Is—” She glanced back up at me suddenly. “Is he truly gone forever?”

I nodded just barely. “I… I do not believe that we will ever see him again…”

Her eyes glistened and then clenched shut, but did not weep anymore. She sniffled loudly and wiped at her face, drying whatever residual tears remained there.

The fur all down her cheeks was matted and stuck out at odd angles, and would not smooth down no matter how hard she tried.

Streaks of mascara ran down her face, staining her pristine white coat, and now the back of the hoof she used to dry her face.

Any one of her personal attendants would have fainted at the very sight of just how disheveled she appeared, but here, in this space we shared, I hardly gave it any thought.

Celestia pursed her lips and sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. This seemed to steady her nerves, for she straightened up and recollected herself some. Then, she clutched at my own hooves and scrunched her eyes shut, as if searing the fact Starswirl was truly gone into her brain.

She breathed in once more.

And then out.

I smiled at her, but she did not seem able to match it.

She blinked.

Her next words were slow and careful, but still somewhat unsteady. “…I, err…I feel I must apologize for…for that… It was wholly inappropriate for…”

“Celestia,” I interrupted her, “You need not apologize for anything. Right now, you are only a mare who has lost someone very, very dear to her heart. Nopony would think any less of you, least of all me. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.”

She swallowed a lump in her throat. “I… I…”

“Besides,” I continued on, “I am much too old at this point to care about anything like that. I do not believe in such propriety at this point in my life.”

Celestia gave a dry chuckle at that and wiped again at one of her eyes. “I do believe I am older than you by a few hundred years, young lady.”

I merely shrugged. This humor was a good course. It would take her mind off of things. “Hmm. Really? Because, to me, this seems like an old, wrinkled crone of a mare comforting a beautiful young princess who does not look a day over thirty.”

Her brow furrowed in umbrage. “You are not a crone!” Then, her eyes seemed to alight once more, and the smallest of smirks graced her mouth. “I would describe you more as a hag. Maybe even a shrew, on a good day.”

“See? I am glad we both agree.” I paused. “And, as the oldest pony in this room, nay, in all of Equestria, I think I deserve a little more respect.”

Playfully, Celestia bent over in a deep bow, as much as she could while sitting in her throne. “I am deeply sorry, Madam. Please accept my apologies.”

I straightened up, drawing myself as high as I could. I looked down at the mare, still bowing to me. I opened my mouth to speak, but could not think of anything to respond with.

I closed my mouth sharply and took a deep breath, the mood suddenly falling flat.

I think we both knew what was to come next. What we had to do.

“Celestia,” I said, my voice now very much firm, “We need to talk about Starswirl.”

“I know.” Her voice was curt, the barest hints of just how tired she was finding their way through.

“There is much to be done about his laboratory and his many experiments. And I do not think he made out any sort of will for whatever other personal belongings he had.”

“No,” she agreed, “Already, I have gone and terminated any experiments I could find. I may need your assistance later in searching for any others. You knew him better in that regard.”

“That is part of the reason I came.” I sighed. “And the other reason is…”

“This story of yours, that you somehow met him before he first met you. I imagine that it relates to his disappearance?”

“I am almost certain of it.”

Celestia nodded her head. “Then… Would you like to begin?”

“I would.”

And so, with a deep breath, I began.

“I first met him some eight years earlier than the Wendigo incident, in the woods on the outskirts of Canterbury. This is important, for it was also the very last time he ever saw me.”

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A Rather Peculiar Thing Occurred on the Way Through Canterbury Woods

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I trotted through the forest in stride, branches and leaves crackling under my hooves as I went.

Canterbury Woods may have been one of my favorite places to be. I always just felt…more complete whenever I was here.

It was certainly a far cry from the dreary stone walls and torchlight of the castle I was cooped up in most of my days. For all their wealth and luxury, the Royal Family did not seem to care much for the appearance of their castle, with, of course, the exception of Princess Platinum.

I would never speak such things in front of them, though. Especially not in front of King Bullion. I would not risk it. I was only a common scribe at the moment. I hardly even interacted with them as it was. Most of my days were spent transcribing and copying manuscripts and tomes alongside dozens of my peers. The most interesting that happened was when a lowly noble occasionally pulled one of us to record his thoughts or to write a letter.

That was why I was always glad whenever I had the opportunity to get out of the castle, even if it was to just deliver a missive or something of that sort.

Or, much like now.

Canterbury Woods was a unique place. There were several incredibly vital plants and medicinal herbs that grew only within its borders, and only during certain seasons. The royal alchemists and the castle infirmary were always in need of fresh trimmings.

That was why, numerous times during the year, I would make the trip out to Canterbury so that I may collect what plants they needed, as well as some extra for my own personal studies. I could have easily sent any of the junior scribes under me to do it in my stead, but I had come to enjoy the outings. It was relaxing, in a way.

This time, I had been on the hunt for both white dittany and dew of the sea, both of which began to sprout in the beginning of winter. If I was lucky, I could even gather some adder’s tongue, though the prime growing season for that had passed already.

And lucky I was. All three herbs were plentiful this year, much more so than the last. My saddlebags were fit to bursting, and I had not even made my full rounds through the forest as of yet.

I even had an inkling to return tomorrow and harvest more. I was sure I could delay my departure another day. There would always be a use for any excess.

But for now, dusk was rapidly approaching, and with it, the chill of the night air. I needed to return to Canterbury proper and retire for the night. And to find something to eat, for I had already finished the day’s provisions some hours earlier.

I pulled my cloak tighter around me and kept forth.

Canterbury Woods was a young forest. The undergrowth was low and its canopy had not yet blocked out the sky, so the forest floor was bathed in a gentle glow that made travel easy.

By my reckoning, I still had at least an hour left before I made it past the tree line, and from there, the town was still thirty minutes further on. I would not be back to the Bit and Bridle Inn until after nightfall had set in.

I was not particularly concerned though. As it was, I was actually one of the more powerful unicorns in the entire guild. I even prided myself in knowing two whole defensive spells. It had taken much practice and studying, but the payoff was rewarding enough.

If any bandits set upon me during my journey home tonight, I felt fairly certain I could hold my own.

At least, I hoped so. I had yet to test either of those spells in an actual life-threatening situation. I was not the most experienced spellcaster as it was. I very much preferred my duties as a scribe over any sort of advanced spellwork and magical study.

Still, I picked up my pace some.

I did not want to get back too late.

After all, the inn’s proprietors, a Mr. and Mrs. Washboard, did not serve food all night long, and I was beginning to feel quite hungry. They cooked a mighty fine stew that rivaled even some of ones back at the castle.

And, even though they were both pegasi, they were a surprisingly polite couple, and articulate to boot.

I liked them. If only more pegasi could follow their example, instead of acting like the impulsive, hot-headed children they were.

Up ahead was a small clearing. I knew it well. There was a particularly large rock there that was perfect to stop and rest on. I would normally stop and eat there, if the time was right.

If I was already at this clearing, then I was closer to the end of the woods than I had thought. I would be back to Canterbury much sooner.

I entered the dell, emboldened by this realization.

To my right was the boulder. It was wide and flat, and partially buried by dirt, but provided a lovely spot to sit on. The top was somewhat worn already, as I was not the only pony to use these woods.

On many occasion, I had crossed paths with some of the foals from town playing in this clearing, on and around the rock. I even knew that the townsponies threw at least one annual celebration here as well. There was a certain history attached to the place, I had gathered, but I did not know the full tale behind it. Perhaps I could ask Mr. and Mrs. Washboard later tonight.

If it was an interesting enough legend, I could even transcribe it. I believed there was a book somewhere in the archives that chronicled local stories and customs. I would have to ask the Hig—

I stepped on a particularly large branch I had not noticed, cracking it in twain. I stumbled slightly, taken by surprise at my sudden change in footing, but managed to keep upright.

The sharp sound of the branch breaking reverberated out into the trees, alone.

All of a sudden, I realized that the forest was deathly quiet.

I jerked to a halt and glanced around the clearing in confusion.

This was not right. This time of night would ordinarily be awash with noises of all sorts. Birds twittering, insects chirping, small mammals rustling through the leaves. I could not remember a time where these woods had not been full of life.

It was wholly unnerving.

Instinctively, I yanked my cloak closer around me and cast a wary eye over the clearing I was standing in.

Silence.

Not even a breeze.

Nothing.

Then, the very air seemed to snap forward and crackle with enough magical energy that every hair on my body stood on end.

I felt my heartbeat rise unbidden, my muscles tense uncontrollably, my lungs cry out for air. A bolt of pain shot through my head, forcing me to my knees.

Everything vanished. My vision went black. I could not feel the ground under my hooves. The forest’s aromas were gone. The silence intensified.

My skin was aflame. A ringing in my ears. The bones within my body grinded against each other.

I cried out in pain, in fear.

Or, at least I thought I did, for I could not tell through the haze.

I could not think.

Could not be.

And then, it was over.

All at once, my senses flooded back into me.

I gasped for breath, air filling my lungs once more, inflating them.

I saw nothing but the trees, the sky.

I tasted dirt, grit filling my mouth.

I felt my cloak rub coarsely across my back.

I heard the sounds of the forest, returned again, bright and airy.

I was lying on the ground.

I blinked.

Warily, I sat up, my entire being on alert for whatever had caused…whatever had just happened.

My body was trembling.

The whole clearing seemed to thrum with a force I knew not. I could feel it in my horn, in my bones.

I glanced around my surroundings once again, but saw nothing of interest.

It was as if nothing had even happened.

I stood up with some difficulty, my legs still somewhat wobbly. With sluggish movements, I rubbed at my eyes and drew in a few more deep breaths of air, trying to steady my nerves some. Whatever had occurred certainly knocked the wind from me.

Perhaps, I thought, it would be prudent to sit and rest for a few moments, if just to collect myself, before continuing on. That sounded nice.

I turned and took a step back towards the rock, figuring it was as good a place as any else to sit on.

That was when I saw it.

There, huddled on top of the boulder was a pony, who was most definitely not there just a moment earlier.

The pony was swaddled in a rich blue cloak that, though it was incredibly tattered and frayed now, had obviously once been quite nice. There were worn patches of stars and moons peeling away from the main body they were sewn on. Along the bottom hem were a row of bells, most of which had fallen off at some point.

The bells in question jangled softly as the pony stirred.

“H-hello?” I said, drawing closer to the stallion, who I could now see as such for the long, gray beard that covered his jawline.

His head rose slowly, revealing that he was also wearing a pointed hat strikingly similar to the robe on his back, bells and all. The sheer absurdity of his outfit, juxtaposed against our surroundings, almost made him seem unreal, as if an illustration.

I called out again, “Hello?! Are you alright?”

His eyes shifted over to me, but could not seem to focus properly. He blinked several times, obviously in a sort of daze, before he let loose a large yawn.

As I drew closer, I could see that he was an incredibly old unicorn. Quite possibly the oldest pony I had ever seen, if the wrinkles on his face proved anything. I had thought that the High Exemplar was the oldest pony in the kingdom, but this stallion had at least seventy-five to a hundred years over him.

Now, his attention shifted back to me, clearly seeing me for the first time. He studied me for just a moment, his gaze unwavering, but then broke off to look at his surroundings.

Then, showing an unexpected vigor that seemed nigh impossible for a pony his age, he leapt from atop the rock and landed on the forest floor below in one fluid motion.

Without pause, he stooped down and scooped up a hoofful of dirt and leaves. He tipped a generous amount into some pocket in the inside of his cloak, but then brought the rest to his mouth and swallowed it. After a moment, he muttered something I could not quite understand and then began walking about the clearing.

I furrowed my brow at the sight. Grazing on wild grasses was certainly not unheard of, especially if the need was dire, but eating straight dirt and leaves? This evening was growing stranger by the minute, as was this stallion.

Presently, he was staring up at the trees, as if they were something wholly new to him.

I took a few steps closer to him, but still kept my distance. “Hello?! Sir?!”

But he did not respond, or even acknowledge I had said anything. Perhaps he was hard of hearing.

“Hello!” I called again, moving forward. I was practically atop him now.

I paused, waiting, but he still did not notice me. I spoke again, in a near whisper, as to not startle him too much. “Hello? Sir? Hello?”

He twirled around to face me, his bells jangling loudly. I took a step back in sheer surprise. “Hullo! Yes, hello! Hello!” he replied in a hurried tone, exasperation dripping through, before turning away again, his horn alighting with blue magical aura.

Well. That was how he was going to be, was it? I dealt with plenty of cantankerous old stallions in my work. This one would be no different.

I stood up straighter and did my best to put on an authoritative voice. “Sir, I must inquire as to your presence here. Were you the cause of the disturbance some moments ago?”

No response. He continued with whatever spell he was casting.

I spoke again, louder this time, and drew closer to him. “Hello? Sir? Can you hear me?”

He nickered impatiently, but did not turn to look at me. “Yes, yes, I can hear you! I already said hello to you! What more do you want?! I’m in the middle of something very important!” His voice was hard and rough, as if from disuse.

I forced a pleasant smile onto my face. “I am sure of that sure, sir. I was simply wondering as to your being here. Your appearance was very sudden.”

He did not respond. He was purposefully ignoring me now, I was sure of it.

I let silence hang between us. I would give this one more minute, and then I would leave him be. I did not have the time nor the patience for this. This had already delayed my return to the inn significantly.

I decided to try another approach.

“My name is Clover. What is yours?”

He froze now, turning his head some, and peered at me from the corner of his eye. That seemed to get some reaction from him. He grunted and then shook his head, returning to his work. “No… You aren’t Clover. Or, at least, not my Clover. My Clover is much older than you are.”

“I do not know what to tell you, sir. I may not be your Clover, but my name is indeed Clover. I cannot help but wonder what it is exactly you are doing here. This is not the most prudent time of day to explore the wilderness.”

Still, he paid no heed to me, continuing on with whatever he was doing. Observing his surroundings or some such.

I bit back a sigh. My patience was wearing thin. I was very much ready to leave him here, despite my curiosity. Once more, though. “If you do not mind me asking, sir, who are you and what is it you are doing here?”

He turned away from his studying of the trees. “You don’t know who I am?” He seemed somewhat surprised. Confused.

“No, I do not.”

“Hmm… That’s rare for this time period… One would think, that…” He blinked. “Well, never mind.”

Then, with a flourish, he bowed low to the ground, sweeping a hoof out in front of him. The bell atop his hat fell forward, but did not make a sound. “Starswirl the Bearded at your service, my lady.”

I took a step back, almost unbidden. “Starswirl the Bearded?! As in the Starswirl th—”

He smiled up at me. “The very same.”

“Oh,” is what I said, “I see…”

Great.

Just great.

Clearly, this stallion was mad.

That was the only explanation. There was no way he was actually Starswirl. The real Starswirl had not been heard from in many years now, having absconded to some far-away lands.

This, surely, was proof that this pony was some sort of madstallion. I had seen my fair share of raving loons that hung around the town square in my years at the castle, shouting about the end of the world or some other figment of the imagination.

This stallion was no different.

It was wholly unbelievable. He, believing he was Starswirl the Bearded.

He was even eating dirt just a moment prior. And, that ridiculous outfit. I did not know much of Starswirl, only legends and tales, but I was sure that whatever he wore was not adorned with bells.

He must be mad. Crazy. Delusional.

That was the only explanation.

He must have wandered away from town earlier the day. The town lunatic. If I could lead him back into Canterbury, surely the townsponies would know who he is.

Surely.

“Al-l-l-l-l-lright, Starswirl,” I drew out the word, “How about you come on back to Canterbury with me? I am sure you would find it much more interesting than this stuffy old forest.”

He looked at me curiously and shook his head. “I’m afraid I cannot, my lady. I have some personal matters to attend to here.” The stallion then closed his eyes and whinnied softly, his entire body swaying gently, as if in some unknown breeze.

“Sir, I must—”

“You said Canterbury, correct?” He opened one eye and gazed at me from it. “Then we must be in Canterbury Woods?”

Perhaps I should just cut my losses and leave this stallion to his doings. “We are indeed in Canterbury Woods, sir. Will you not accompany me back to town proper?” I layered on the charm as thick as I could. “Surely a reputable wizard such as yourself would not let a lady travel by herself?”

He chuckled, but did not move. “My lady, if you’re already out this late on your own, I’m sure you can take care of yourself. And, furthermore, I—” He suddenly froze in place, his eyes snapping open. “Wait… What year did you say it was again?”

“I…uh…did not?”

Suddenly, he bent down and scooped more of the dirt into his mouth. He worked his jaw, as if savoring the taste, and then swallowed.

He absentmindedly chewed on a strand of his mustache. “If this is…”

“Umm…?” I tried to butt in.

“…then, it must be…”

“…Excuse me?”

His eyes widened as he twirled around to face me proper. His dark magenta eyes glowed with a fierceness that had not been there before. All at once, I felt incredibly stark under his gaze and I could not suppress a shudder.

“Clo-C-Clover?!” His voice wavered slightly, though it was as if there was suddenly a completely different stallion standing before me than there had been previously.

Whatever his outward appearance, this stallion was incredibly powerful. Even without having to try and sense his magical aura, I could now feel it radiating off of him, and it awoke some primal fear deep inside me. He was easily the most powerful magical being I had ever been in the presence of, and I was unsure as to how I had noticed it before.

I suddenly felt as if I should not have been so insistent in helping him. It was as though a switch had been flipped and his entire being suddenly seemed to command respect. His eyes were as fire.

I was rooted to the spot as he took a step closer to me. “Clover? I… I…” He reached a hoof out towards me, but then drew back, as if afraid. When he next spoke, his voice was quiet and unsteady. “You are Clover, second daughter of Cloven Grain and Shoe-Shod, no? A cutie mark of two five-leaf clovers? A scribe at the Royal Scriptorium?”

Hesitantly, I nodded, the slightest traces of nervousness trickling into my voice. “Y-yes…?”

There was no way he could have known those things. Certainly not if he was a madpony from Canterbury. My cloak definitely had not betrayed my cutie mark; it had stayed covered all day.

And, even if he knew my cutie mark and of my profession, there was no chance he knew who my parents were.

So, either I had stumbled upon some pony who had been secretly following me without my knowledge, or…

Or this stallion truly was Starswirl the Bearded.

And he knew who I was.

I was not sure which one was the more plausible, or even which was preferable.

A broad grin stretched across the stallion’s features.

I took a step back. Then, another. Then, another. “I… I… What is…” I could not find the words I wanted to speak. They slipped from my mind as fast as they could form.

Yet, the stallion did not seem to notice. He was still watching me, smiling ear-to-ear, eyes shimmering with mirth. His entire being was positively radiating joy now.

I grimaced gently, hoping to match his own smile, so that he did not take affront.

He scoffed lightly, and then chuckled. “Ohohoho! You clever, clever mare you! I can’t believe it… This certainly explains a lot! I never would’ve guessed!” He let loose a bark of laughter. “Every-everything makes sense now!”

“Sir, what is—”

“Clover!” He rushed up to me, enveloping me in a tight hug. “Clover! You—You’re really you!” He scrutinized me intently, his eyes inches from my own, our snouts barely brushing against the other’s. “You are my Clover!”

I gently pushed him away from me and stepped back a respectable distance. “Sir, please, I must—”

But again, he did not let me speak.

“Clover, I…” He sat down on the ground and sucked in a steadying breath. “I can’t believe it’s really you… I… You’re so young…”

“Sir…err…Starswirl, I am afraid you have me mistaken for somepony else. I have never met you.”

“No, that is true.” He bobbed his head sagely. “I, however, have met you before.”

“I do not see how—”

Still, he did not let me get a word in edgewise.

“Now, I can tell that you don’t believe me, dear Clover. I can certainly understand why. If a strange stallion who claimed to be Starswirl the Bearded suddenly appeared in front of me in the middle of the woods at night, I would be skeptical as well!”

I sighed. “To be honest, I thought you crazy before. Now, I am not so sure. You don’t seem crazy.” Then, when he did not continue talking, I did instead. “You may very well be Starswirl the Bearded.”

He jabbed a hoof in my direction. “Very good, Clover! Always keep an open mind!”

“How did you know those things about me?” I prodded, hoping that

He shrugged, his bells tinkling softly. “I told you already. I know you. I know a great many things about you.” He paused and then began again. “In fact, I have something very special to tell you. Something that will hopefully convince you I am who I claim to be.”

“What—” But before I could even protest, he strode up to me once more and whispered into my ear.

His words hung in my mind for a moment before fully sinking in. My face fell and, as my blood ran cold, I could not suppress the shudder that spread throughout my body.

I blinked in shock, unsure what to even think.

How could he have possibly have known that?

That was…

It was just a silly dream I had had when I was but a young filly. A rather innocuous thing yes, but something that had affected me greatly.

I had never told anypony that before! Not even my parents, nor my siblings. Nopony knew. I regarded it as highly personal. How did he ever come to know that?

How?

He pulled back from me, a knowing smirk unfurling across his face.

I was dumbfounded. “H-how did…?”

He answered the question before I could speak it. “You yourself told me that, many, many years from now. When I had begun researching time magic, you came up with the idea for us to have a code word, or words, in this case, in the event that something just like this occurred, so that you would know I was telling the truth of who I was.

“I see now that you had already known that this would’ve occurred. At the time, it had never even crossed my mind that a time loop such as this had even ensued. Causality is an interesting thing, don’t you think so?”

I sat down on the ground hard, my mouth gaping open. “I… I…” I stared at him, at his cloak, his hat, the bells, his beard, the wizard himself. “You-you are Starswirl the Bearded!”

The corners of his eyes crinkled. “I am.”

“And you know who I am?”

“I do. Or, rather, I will.”

He must have seen the confusion evident on my face, for he continued. “You see, Clover, I am not your Starswirl. Rather, I am from some two-hundred or so years in the future. You will be one of my many students, and, dare I say, the most famous of the bunch by far, and definitely my favorite.”

My brain took a moment to catch-up. I was utterly gobsmacked at the mere thought. The future?! I could not even perceive such a thing to be possible. I had never even thought of the concept before, to be able travel through time.

And, on top of that, I was apparently also his student? I had never had much interest in the arcane arts. I was only a scribe! I was no sorceress! Such a notion was equally as far-fetched as his claim he was from the future.

I voiced these thoughts to him.

“Ah yes indeed.” He stroked his beard. “You’re quite the powerful sorceress.” He paused. “Hmm… You never told me when or why it was you first began studying magic… Though, if I had to guess now, I would strongly suspect that is was because of our meeting here.”

“But how—”

“Clover, you’re a smart enough mare to know that I can’t answer that question in detail. I can’t tell you anything about the future.” He grimaced. “Knowledge of future events is a dangerous thing. At least, certain events.”

I huffed in frustration. “But you cannot just say something like that and give no explanation or proof! That is hardly fair!”

“Life isn’t always fair, dear Clover. Nor is it predictable.”

We stared at each other for a moment. I gave thought to continuing my line of argument, but decided not to. He was not likely to say anything.

A low whinny grew in the back of my throat. “Okay! Okay. Okay…” I shook my head vigorously, trying to recollect my thoughts some. “Let us say you are indeed Starswirl—”

“I am.”

“And you are from the future, where I am your personal student.”

“Former student, but yes.”

“Then why exactly are you here, now? It did not seem as if this was where you intended to be. You did not even know you were in Canterbury Woods. You did not even recognize me! Why travel to this point in time?”

At these words, Starswirl deflated greatly, his gaze sinking to the ground. He took off his hat and held it in his hooves, simply looking at it. All of a sudden, he very much seemed a frail old stallion. I was a little taken aback by the change of demeanor and felt a twinge of guilt for having caused it.

He let loose a long sigh and fiddled with one of the bells on his hat. “That is a story in and of itself, Clover. It is not a happy tale. I do not kno—” He broke off unexpectedly, quickly falling silent. His ears splayed, lying flat against his head.

He did not resume speaking.

If it were not for the subtle rising and falling of his chest, I would have thought him dead.

Hesitantly, I took a step forward and placed a comforting hoof on his shoulder. He jerked and glanced up at me in surprise. I smiled down at him. “I would like to hear it, if you do not mind.”

“Hmm?”

“Your story?” He blinked. “Of how you got here?”

He stared at me still, his eyes blank. Then, his gaze slipped off of me and onto the forest beyond. He held that for a minute and then looked back at me.

Then he seemed to return to himself.

He stood up abruptly, nearly causing me to stumble backwards. He nodded some. “Yes.” His voice was slow. “Yes, of course.” And then nodded some more. With fanfare, he swept his hat back atop his head and shuffled over to sit the boulder he had appeared on. “Come along, Clover.”

Slightly off-put by his behavior, I followed behind and sat beside him on the rock.

Starswirl’s horn ignited with magic, and several large tree branches and some kindling floated over to a spot directly in front of us. With careful deliberation, he arranged the wood into a small bonfire and set it aflame.

“There!” said he, seemingly satisfied, “We may as well be comfortable while we chat, no?”

I nodded in affirmation. The warmth was certainly appreciated. The air had been steadily growing colder the entire time.

“Starswirl,” I said gently, “are you—”

“Clover,” he interrupted me again, as he was wont to do, “If I am to tell you this story, you must promise me something.”

“Of course.”

“You are not to reveal this information to anypony. Ever. Especially not to me, the current me, who you will meet in a few years. I’m sure there will be times that you will want to say something, but you cannot. A stallion cannot know his own fate, particularly one such as myself. Can you do that?”

I nodded. “I can.” And I could. I was confident in that.

He smiled. “I know. You never did. I see now you had dropped hints once or twice, but nothing so overt that I had suspected anything at the time.”

“Ah. Right.” That was true. He already knew everything that would happen. It was almost a meaningless promise.

“Now,” he said, clasping his hooves together, “Let’s begin. I’ll have to simplify the explanation some, seeing as you haven’t begun studying magical theory yet. You wouldn’t even begin to understand most of the jargon.”

“Hey! I—”

“Clover, please. This is some of the most advanced spellwork in the world. There will be a day when you understand it, but today is not that day. Now, please let me think.” His brow furrowed. “I have to… Have to…hmm…”

He trailed off into silence. We sat there, in the fire’s glow for some time, as he was lost in thought.

Eventually though, I got somewhat impatient.

“Hello?”

“Hmm?” He looked up at me, as if suddenly remembering I was there. “Oh yes, just one moment…” Then, he looked away again, muttering under his breath. “…What was I…?”

I opened my mouth to say more, but almost immediately he seemed to snap back into place and he turned his attention on me once more.

“Alright, see Clover, I had been researching time magic for some time. It had always been a passing curiosity of mine.” He idly poked at the fire with a stick. “Over time, I had made a number of breakthroughs. It had taken years of experimentation and research, but I eventually created the spellwork necessary to travel throughout time. It is quite possibly my greatest achievement.

“Yet, for all of my enquiry and testing, I still did not truly understand what made the spells tick. How the spells affected time or, indeed, what time itself even was, eluded me. I had discovered this thing, but I did know how or why. I had to know, and that was my downfall.

“I spent countless months stripping these spells down to their basest of forms and reassembling them, in the hopes I could understand. These experiments began to consume my days and nights, and I began to grow somewhat reckless in my fervor. At times, I pushed at the very fabric of time, just so that I could see what would happen, because I so desperately wanted to understand something.”

He paused here, drawing in a deep breath. It seemed to me as if these words were simultaneously something he wished to speak about, as well as difficult for him to even get out.

I did not speak, for I did not know quite what to say.

He spoke up again, saying something I could not quite make out. I leaned in closer almost impulsively, just to hear.

“…But I pushed it all too hard…” His voice was but a whisper, eyes lost in thought, his entire body shaking, the bells on his person tinkling softly.

“It was… I delved into dangerous territory, Clover.” He shook his head. “Some dark, dark territory. And it ultimately destroyed me, in every sense of the word.

“There was a horrible incident. Something I could never have expected. I was torn asunder and flung from this very plane of existence, into a space between spaces. I rather like to think that time itself was unhappy with my meddling and sought to punish me.”

I reached out a hoof and grabbed his, holding it tight. As he looked up at me, I smiled at him and nodded for him to continue. He smiled back, though it did not quite reach his eyes.

“One moment, I was in my laboratory, and the next, I no longer existed. I was outside the stream of reality, of time, in a place wholly incomprehensible to our senses. This was my last act upon the world, Clover. I have been well and truly trapped ever since.

“And ever since that singular moment, I’ve been drifting through the entirety of time, lost in a void of nothingness.”

He must have noticed my own confusion, for he then said, “Ah, I’m sure you’re wondering then, how I am here? Now, see, when most think of time, they think of it as a straight line. We move from the past, to the present, to the future. And, if time travel is involved, we simply move forward or back along that same line.

“It’s a lot more complicated than that. Much more. I have always best likened it to a blanket of sorts. Everything, all of reality, all of time, is just a thin sheet stretched across a bed, and all of us just live underneath, nestled in its warm embrace.

“If you know how to, with the use of spellwork and the like, you can move to anywhere you want on the bed, through both time and space. Teleportation does this, though in a much lesser manner, and just through space. Even the most basic of telekinesis uses this same principle.

“What I had been trying to do, in my research, was to yank the covers off of me, to stretch the boundaries as far as they could. Only, I went too far, and I fell out of the bed and onto the floor.

“And I stood up, and I found myself locked in a dark room, with no escape, and only myself for company. The bed and the blanket are both there, as are countless others, all parallel universes to our own, but there is nothing else.

“I am trapped in a space between spaces. A dimensionless deepness that threatens to throw me under the waves and let me drown.

“No matter how hard I try, I cannot return to this reality, this time. I cannot crawl back underneath the covers and tuck myself back in. They fight me now, reject me. Time has forsaken me.

“Only, I am here speaking to you now, of course, so that is not always true. Sometimes, I find a weakness, a hole in the blanket, a loose stitch, and I manage to worm my way back in. I fall, slip, stumble, slide, plunge back into the timeline proper, curling up underneath the covers.

“The first time I did so, I was elated. I had found my way back. Yes, I was quite a few years removed from when I had been, but I was back in reality. I was alive. I was whole.

“But then, it seemed, as quickly as that had come, it was over. I was back in the void of nothingness. Time had taken notice of me again and found it prudent to remove me from the bed once more.

“I fully expect to disappear from right now sometime very soon. I never last long. Time always wins, in the end.

“But I keep trying. I keep searching for holes. Every time, for some brief moments, I find myself back in physicality, in reality once more. Only, I have no control over where or when I turn up. I find myself in any number of different places and times, all completely at random.

“I’ve seen everything, Clover, from the earliest days of this planet, of fire and brimstone, to our earliest ancestors, still dumb and mute, to the very death of this world, and everything in between.

“Sometimes I last only hours, and other times I could spend days or even weeks in a place. I still do not know why there is such deviation.

“But eventually, I overstay my welcome, and am noticed and forced out again. I snap back and I fall out of reality yet again, down to the floor. In an instant, I am back in that room and am left with nothing but my thoughts again.”

Finally, here, he ceased talking, his voice fading off. He had been speaking nonstop for what felt like several minutes now. I had let go of his hoof at some point, as I had gotten so engrossed in his tale that I had merely forgotten.

There was a long stretch of silence.

I barely was able to process the things he spoke of.

It was horrible, what he was saying, even if I could barely believe it. To be trapped outside of our time, our reality?

I would not wish such a fate on anypony. Anyone.

Now, Starswirl looked up at me again, his eyes suddenly betraying his age. Where before they had seemed so very young and vibrant, they were now tired and listless.

It was plain to me now how much this thing was weighing down on him. He had to be an immensely strong stallion to even go through such an experience without immediately losing his sanity.

I was not as strong. I doubted that anypony else could be. It was apparent that Starswirl was wholly unique.

“…The thing is, Clover,” he began speaking, snapping me from my own thoughts “I do not know how long this has been going on. I have no concept of time in relation to myself any more. In between my reappearances in reality, I may have spent only a few days in that place, the room, or I may very well be older than the very ground we walk on. I may have spent an eternity in that nothingness.

“I do not know how long I have been gone.

“But I have seen much.

“Too much, even. Exceptionally strong unicorn mages only tend to live to be about 250 years old. I do not know how much longer than that I have lived.

“My mind is so filled with memories and things and thoughts that I am fit to burst, Clover…

“Evermore now I fear that I will never find a way to permanently reattach myself to this place. I fear that I may be forever out of reach.”

He stopped here, again.

Though, it was also apparent that, however strong he may have once been, Starswirl was still just a pony. And a pony was never meant to experience what he has, and especially not for so long. Even the most steadfast of minds weather in the passage of time.

Night had now fallen proper.

Silvery moonlight trickled down through the tree leaves, illuminating everything the flickering glow of the fire did not. The barest hints of stars were visible through the canopy.

A slight twinge in my stomach reminded me I still had not eaten, but I pushed that aside for the time being.

There was a far more pressing matter at hoof, and, for the life of me, I could not think of what exactly to say.

What would one say to a stallion who had experienced such a terrible thing? How could I even begin to comfort him? Any sort of placating pleasantries would fall measurably short.

So, we merely sat there in a companionable silence. He, wallowing in his feelings and thoughts and memories, and I, merely trying to sort through all of this information that had just been told to me.

The flames crackled and popped.

Crickets or some other bug buzzed off in the distance.

Starswirl’s bells jingled.

I sighed and looked at him. He was staring into the fire, his eyes unblinking, unfocused.

“Thank you for telling me,” I finally said, “I would not think it easy to carry such a burden for so long.”

One of his ears swiveled in my direction and then spoke, his voice heavy, “You know, I was once almost convinced that it couldn’t be accomplished, time travel.” A pause. “There was a point where I was ready to give up and move on to something else. I had hit so many dead ends, that I thought it impossible.”

He looked up at me, meeting my own eyes. “And I would’ve, had you not convinced me to continue on. You had told me that you knew it was possible, because you had seen it happen before. When I pressed you for an explanation, you told me that you had already said too much.” He chuckled dryly. “I suppose it makes sense as to why, now.”

I bristled at his words. He seemed so unconcerned about what had he had just said. “But that means I am to blame for what has happened to you! If I had dissuaded you then, you would not be in this terrible situation! I could save you!”

He tutted and brushed away a stray ember that had landed on his cloak. “You are no more to blame than anypony else, dear Clover. Time is a fickle thing. In the end, you cannot do anything to change what will happen to me, for you have already met me here. If you prevented me from meeting my fate, I would never travel back to this moment, and then you’d never know to try and stop me.”

“I…” I slumped down, conceding to his point. “I suppose that make sense. I had not thought of that.” This was all still very confusing to me.

“Don’t despair,” he said, a slight chuckle escaping his lips, “The very concept of time travel is hardly even conceived at this point. Most ponies have never even heard of the thing, you included, I’m sure, until now. I’ve a smidge more experience in these matters.”

I would have responded in kind, but before I even could, my stomach rumbled rather loudly. I splayed my ears, hoping that he had not heard.

Only, of course, he had. Without any hesitation, he reached into his cloak and pulled something from one of the pockets. “Bread?” he offered, holding out an entire loaf.

I stared for a moment, surprised, but then eagerly took the offered bread. Hurriedly, I tore off a sizable chunk and practically scarfed it down. I was apparently hungrier than I had thought.

With my mouth full, I grunted in thanks, gently nodding in appreciation. I chewed quickly and then swallowed the chunk of bread far too early and had difficulty getting it down some. “T-thank you!” I gasped, “I was starving.”

Starswirl did not react. He was staring into the fire again, lost to the world.

“Starswirl,” I said.

He did not respond. Not even a flick of his ear to acknowledge he had heard me. His body swayed gently, rocking back and forth.

“Starswirl!” I reached over and shook him.

His foreleg twitched and he looked over at me, eyes wide, confused. “Hmm? Clover? What are you do—” He snapped his mouth shut with an audible click and took a deep breath. He refocused on me and smiled. “Ah, right. Clover. Sorry. What were you saying?”

That was the third time now he had drifted off and become unresponsive. I suspected it was related to his predicament. I wondered how frequently it had been happening.

“Starswirl,” My voice was low, “Are you feeli—” I broke off, thinking better. I suddenly had a strong feeling that he would not respond well to that sort of inquiry. I was unsure he even knew that anything was wrong, or what could even be done to fix it.

Instead, I smiled warmly at him. “Nothing. I was just thanking you for the bread. I was very hungry.”

He bobbed his head, clearly not sure what I was talking about, but playing along anyways. “You’re welcome.”

His mind was not quite back yet, so I resolved to change topics, in hope of bringing him back to himself.

Here, was this stallion sitting in front of me, swaddled in a large blue robe and a hat, both adorned with bells and stars and moons. It was like nothing I had even seen before. “I have to ask. What is with your outfit? It is…rather interesting, if you do not mind me saying.”

I tore off another chunk of bread and began eating.

He blinked. “What?” He glanced down at his self. “My cloak? It is—Ah!” He smiled. “You’re right! At this point in time, I did not have this robe or hat. I suppose it must look rather silly to you.”

He readjusted his positioning slightly. The spark had returned to his eyes now. “I received these wondrous garments from the Grand Doggessa of Forsoon for helping her city out of a rather tight spot. See, a creature called a Dawon was terrorizing the slums of the city, killing many who lived there. Even the elite guard was having difficulty with the creature, as it is as elusive as it is deadly.

“I am not sure how the Dawon got into the city, as they tend to spend much of their time high in the mountains, hiding away from any sort of civilization. It was mere coincidence I was in the city at the time, but as the killings continued, I volunteered to hunt it down.

“It took three more months, many more deaths, much of my pride, and several new scars on my body before I managed to best it. The Doggessa was overjoyed at my success, though also incredibly humbled, as the Dogs of the Crag are a very proud people. She insisted that I be suitably rewarded for my efforts.

“Now, the Dogs practice a certain type of magic wholly separate from our own. They draw their magic not from wellsprings like us pony folk, nor do they have the horns or wings to channel it through. Instead, they draw their power from something they call their ‘chakra’ and merely exude magic from their bodies, able to bend it to whatever purpose they need. Unfortunately, even today, the practice is largely going extinct, though their most powerful…err…there is no way to pronounce it in our tongue, but they imbued this robe and hat with certain properties as thanks for my assistance. I have never found a more suitable replacement for them.”

He smiled and then leaned in closer. “I added the bells and stars and moons at a later date. I think them rather fetching, no?”

I giggled. “I am sure it is incredibly fashionable two-hundred years in the future.”

He nodded. “It is indeed. You’ll get used to it.”

“I do not know I could eve—”

A piercing wail split through the air. It was as if a spike had suddenly been driven through my skull.

I flinched and clutched at my ears, trying in vain to block out the shrill sound, though it was not enough. The shriek wormed its way to my brain regardless.

Through eyes half-clenched shut in pain, I glanced up to Starswirl, to see what he was doing.

He was grimacing much like me, though seemed to be trying his best to ignore the sound. Instead, he was frantically digging through his cloak, searching for something. After a moment of rummaging, he brought out a small crystal that gleamed in the firelight. His horn flickered, a brief interplay of magic shining across the surface of the crystal.

And then the ear-splitting noise grew quiet, falling to a gentle whine and then to nothing.

There was silence again, though I could barely tell over the ringing in my ears. “Argh… What was that?! Why would you have something like that?!” I half-yelled, my own voice sounding muffled and distant.

Starswirl did not respond at first. He stared at the crystal, turning it over and over in his hooves. Its surface shimmered with a lustrous rainbow iridescence. It seemed well-worn, as if he held it often.

Then, as my hearing returned to me, “It seems that our time is almost up, Clover.” He held up the small gem. “This is something of my own creation. I created it some time ago to warn me when my time in this world would be up.” He sighed. “…I had hoped that I had some more time here, but it seems I am to be removed from reality once again.”

My ears drew back. I had been about to complain about why his alarm was so incredibly loud, but it did not feel sensible to say so now that I knew what it meant.

“…How much longer do you have?”

“A matter of minutes. We will have to part ways very soon.” His voice was soft.

My expression fell.

However skeptical I had been of him when he first appeared, Starswirl had quickly grown on me. It was if he was a friend I had not seen for some time. I suppose that his prior knowledge of me helped foster that feeling.

I was sad that he was going to vanish. Though I only knew him here briefly, I was already going to miss him.

But I was sure that he was going to miss me all the more.

It was a lonely existence he now led. I did not think he had had such a chance talk with anypony since his accident. The chance to run into somepony who actually knew him was incredibly slim, and even more so to run into somepony who he trusted as much as he apparently did me.

We slipped into a rather awkward silence. Neither of us seemed to know what to say to the other, for what would a pony say in this sort of situation? It had never happened before, and was unlikely to ever again.

I hardly knew this stallion, really, but he knew me.

He would be gone from this place, this time, likely to never return. He would be whisked away somewhere wholly different, alone and unprepared.

I would be going back home, to what I knew was familiar and safe. The castle. My job. My fellow scribes. My bed.

And, eventually, I would meet him again, though not the Starswirl I came to know here. I would meet a younger and similar, but slightly different, Starswirl who would be meeting me for the first time.

I knew not when that would occur, but I looked forward to it.

But there was another matter hanging over us here that I was not looking forward to.

Then, instead, another idea occurred to me, and I found that easier to voice than having to say goodbye. “What are some of the enchantments the Dogs put on your cloak? It does not give the appearance of anything special.”

“Ah!” He seemed grateful for the change in topic. The relief was visible in his eyes. “Well, the pockets within have a near-limitless storage capacity. It is most of the reason I still wear it, as it's something I could not do without these days. It is definitely the most important and technically challenging enchantment they put on it.”

I gasped in amazement, shocked that such a thing was even possible. I had never thought that magic could even do something like that. “That is amazing!” I said, excitement tinging my voice, “What sort of things do you carry around in there?”

“I’m not sure.” He continued fiddling with his crystal. “I have quite a lot of things on me at all times. I’ve lost track, I’m afraid.” He paused, a thought coming to him. He dove a hoof back into his robes, searching again for something. “Though, speaking of which, I do have something here that I think is prudent to give you, lest I forget.”

He held out a simple piece of parchment, folded over itself three times.

I took it from him, looking at it curiously. “Is this for me?” I made to unfold it.

“No no!” I folded the parchment back down quickly, flustered. He shook his head. “I need you to deliver this to somepony for me. It is of vital importance, I think.”

“Who is it for?” There was no name on the front. “…And when should I give it to them?” That was almost the more important question here, with time travel involved.

He hesitated. “I… You will know who it is for, when the time comes around. It will be strikingly obvious. As to when, I think it best to deliver it after my disappearance. You can understand if I am reluctant to say more. You already know too much about future events as it is, which is to say, anything at all.”

I nodded in affirmation and tucked the letter away in my saddlebags for safe keeping. “I am sure I will figure it out.”

“I’m sure you will. I have faith in you.”

I dipped my head in thanks, somewhat proud that he apparently trusted me so. “I have to ask though, why exactly do you have this letter already written out? You did not know you would ever meet me here.”

“Hmm?” He blinked. “I… I’m not entirely sure. I’ve been hoping to chance upon somepony who could deliver it for some time now, but to be perfectly honest, I can’t even remember how long I’ve been carrying it around for. I couldn’t tell you when I wrote it.”

There was another sharp beep from the crystal, though thankfully not as loud or as long as the previous. Starswirl glanced at it from the corner of his eye.

He drew closer to me now, standing up from the rock. He seemed unsure of himself. “Clover, I… I had never gotten the chance to say goodbye to you before I disappeared. Nay, to do a great many things I should’ve done. I suppose I will have to start here…

“I may not have ever told you in as many words, but I valued our friendship greatly. You were the only pony that could ever match me in skill and intellect. I’m forever grateful for having known you. I hope you remember that, even when we are at odds. You are an incredible mare, Clover. You always will be. You’re very clever.” He chuckled at that, though I did not know why.

I stood up as well, pulling him in for a tight hug. “Thank you. I look forward to meeting you properly and seeing just what the future holds.”

“Thank you for indulging an old stallion. I know you had your doubts at the beginning, but it was nice to finally have a friend to talk to after all this time.” He squeezed me tightly in such a way that I felt as if he had not done so for some time. “I fear I’ve gotten rather sentimental in my old age. I assure you I won’t be this friendly when I begin teaching you.” We pulled apart, a slight smile tugging on his mouth.

“I will just have to earn your friendship then. I cannot wait. It sounds like I have an exciting time ahead of me.”

He stroked at his beard. “That you do. That you do.”

“Wha—”

His crystal rang out again, catching both our attentions.

Starswirl seemed alarmed at this and cursed under his breath. He clenched his eyes shut, as if trying to concentrate on something, only to open them again almost immediately.

He dithered some, limbs shaking, lips compressed together, his tail visibly rustling his robe from underneath it.

His eyes found me again, but I did not think he was looking at me, rather, past me, at some distant memories.

“Clover!” He then gripped me suddenly, his voice now low and serious, “Always remember to keep an open mind and look for the good in other’s hearts. Even when all seems lost, and infighting and malice taint the land, never give up. It is a foolish thing, to hate, and even more foolish to think there is anything less important in this world than friendship.

“Remember, even the most icy of hearts can be melted and made anew by fire, and there is nothing warmer than laughter and friendship and love. As long as that fire burns bright, we all stand together, and nopony can drift apart.

“No matter the differences between the three tribes, we’re all not so different from one another. Unicorn, Pegasus, Earth Pony. We’re all ponies, in the end. We all have our own hopes, our own needs, our own dreams. Everypony deserves to be happy, and to know the joy of life and the peace that it brings.”

He stopped there, as if he had run out of words to draw from, though I strongly suspected he had more he wanted to say, but could not figure it out.

But before I could even hope to respond to that deluge, his crystal dinged twice is rapid succession. In a flash, Starswirl’s hoof shot out to grab it from where it was lying on the rock and hastily stuffed back into his robe.

He looked at me intently, as if trying to memorize my features. His eyes glistened in the firelight, wet with tears that did not seem to flow. I imagined mine looked similar as well.

He reached out, holding my hoof in his own.

I gripped him back tight. A wavering smile flashed across my mouth.

He drew in a breath of air.

From within his cloak, his crystal made one final note, barely even muffled by the thick material.

He opened his mouth to speak.

“Clover—”

And then Starswirl was gone.

I let my hoof fall limply back to the ground as I blankly stared at the spot where he had just been.

I blinked.

That was it then.

He was gone.

I blinked again.

My entire body felt numb, a leftover from the whatever force had taken him, I could only assume.

The forest felt much emptier than it had before, as if he had taken something integral to it with him. I felt as alien and alone here as I had ever.

I shivered and drew my cloak tighter around me.

I took a careful step forward, suddenly unsure what exactly to do next. Maybe it was not a part of the forest he had taken with him, but some part of me.

I looked around the clearing, hesitating on the tree line he had been so intently studying before.

He had vanished without so much of a trace. One would not have even known that he had been here, save for the fire he had lit.

I was not even completely sure he had actually been here.

Tentatively, I reached into my saddlebags and drew out the letter he gave me.

I blinked.

It was very much real.

I had not imagined him.

Starswirl the Bearded had been here, with me.

And now only I was here.

I held the letter for another moment, turning it over in my hooves, just looking at it.

Then, at where he had been sitting, empty now.

I worked my jaw some and then let out a deep sigh.

I blinked.

All of a sudden, I did not want to be here any longer. I just wanted to get away from this place, this clearing, this feeling.

I moved almost mechanically, snatching up my saddlebags and slipping the letter back in. I extinguished the fire with a burst of magic, casting my surroundings into darkness.

Above me, in the inky black sky, the moon and stars shone bright, enveloping the land in a silvery glow, guiding my way home.

And I headed back to Canterbury.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

The Letter from Where Time Was Not

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Celestia did not speak for some time after I had finished my story. She had asked only a few questions while I had been telling it, which I had answered to the best of my abilities, but had otherwise remained passively silent.

It was difficult to tell her about what had happened to Starswirl. It was truly the first time since it had happened that I had ever spoken of it aloud, and my memory was not quite as sharp as it had once been. It had taken some time for me to get through it all, but I eventually had.

And now it was done. I had told her what had happened to Starswirl. It was a terrible thing, yes. I felt a sort of relief for finally getting it off my chest. For so many years now I had been carrying this knowledge, and had had nopony to share it with.

Now though, we sat in silence. Celestia’s face betrayed no emotions. I could not tell what she thought of what I had told her, and I had no inkling of how she would react.

For how do you react when told that the stallion who practically raised you has been stuck outside of reality for countless millennia now?

It had taken me a long time to come to terms with it after our encounter in the woods, and I did not even truly know the stallion at the time.

Then, “He said that you were not supposed to tell anypony of what happened?” Her first words were quiet, but still firm.

Ah. Yes. I had broken my promise.

I shrugged. “I have investigated the matter on my own time. I do not believe that telling you will cause any paradoxes or anything. I figured that you at least deserved to know, regardless of what he wanted.”

“I do not—”

“Besides,” I continued, “He may not have explicitly said so, but he wanted you to know.” I stuck a hoof into a pocket within my coat and pulled out the letter that had been burning a hole through me since this morning. It was not the original he had given me all that time ago. I had rewritten it many times over the years, to preserve it.

“Here, this is for you.” I held it out to her, done up in the same tri-fold that he had done.

“His letter was for me?” She seemed surprised at that.

“Of course it is. Whoever else would it be for?” I chuckled. “I will admit though, it was not very hard to figure out who it was intended for, once I first met you.”

She took the document gingerly, as if she was afraid of it. For a moment, she did not speak. She looked down at the parchment in silence. “You have read it?” Her voice was small.

I nodded. “Many times over since then.” I ducked my head sheepishly. “Sorry.”

But she did not seem offended. Instead, she traced the edge of the letter with a hoof, but did not unfold it. “Can… Can you just tell me what it says? I do not think I can…” She held the parchment back out to me.

And I gently pushed it back towards her. “I think it best that you read it yourself. It is for you.”

Her fear was evident across her face. “I do not—”

“Please, Celestia,” I pleaded, “He wanted you to read it.”

She was hesitant, her foreleg still outreached, but then she nodded tersely, and pulled the letter closer to her, clutching it to her body.

She unfolded it.

Her eyes scanned the page, taking in his last words to her, in his own script. This letter, in particular, may have not been the original, but it was an exact duplicate. A simple enough spell to do.

She read it silently, but I knew the words by heart now, after all these years. I had examined every detail of his words countless times, poured over every sentence.

I read along with her, in my own head.

My Radiant Sun,

I can only hope that this finds you in good health and of sound mind. I do not know when exactly you will receive this, but if everything goes to plan, you should be reading this sometime soon after my untimely disappearance.
I do not know how well whoever delivers this message will explain what has happened to me, but I assume that you understand the gist of what has befallen me. I am currently locked out of reality, out of time itself.
Please do not try and look for me, my sun. I am forever beyond reach, lost to this reality. There is nothing anypony, even you, can do to save me. There is no way to keep from this fate. I have spent too many years now trying to find a solution where there is none.
It has taken time, but I have come to peace with this, and I will try to make the best of it.
I have seen amazing things, my sun, but also horrible, terrible things. I have been to the far-flung future and seen marvels even I could not dream up, I have been to the past, when this planet was naught but a barren rock, and I have seen everything else in between.
It is not what I had anticipated for my future, my legacy, but it is the one I must now accept. A rather anticlimactic ending for Starswirl the Bearded, no? But that is the price for my pride, I suppose.
I cannot
it is my wish tha
You must ensure that nopony else should follow in my hoofsteps, lest they find themselves in this same predicament. You must not let my work into advanced temporal magics to be accessed by anypony, except, perhaps, the most trusted of individuals.
It is too unpredictable, too temperamental. I tore at the very fabric of the universe, and it, in turn, destroyed me. I do not wish my fate on anypony else. This is my punishment, and mine alone.
We are lucky that nothing worse happened. I am lucky I am not dead.
Though, maybe, that would’ve been a better closure, for both me and for you.
I struggle to find the words I want to write. You of all ponies know I was never particularly eloquent, and my memories are a bit crowded these days. It’s been a long time for me since I last saw you. It’s hard to sort through the years and remember just what happened back then.
I’ve gone rather soft in my old age, I fear.
I am sorry for ignoring you, in those past few years. I had gotten so caught up in my work that I had forgotten you when you needed me most. For a long time, I excused my behavior for that you needed to learn how to cope on your own, but I see now that I was purposefully ignoring you to save myself.
I’m so sorry.
I love you, so very much. So much, I cannot put it to words. I never told you as such when I was still around. I know you knew that I did, but is different to say it aloud. It gives it sustenance.
Even now, I love both you and your sister with all of my being. I wish I had only told her that before she was taken from us.
We both failed her. Everypony did. There is no greater shame in my life than what we allowed to happen. She was a beautiful thing, so full of love and hope and laughter, and we killed her.
Maybe, things could’ve turned out differently. If we had spent time with her. If we had noticed how she was feeling, her loneliness, her anger. If anything at all.
But she is gone. And now I too am gone. And you are still there, all alone, the sole ruler of Equestria. The sun. My sun.
I wish I could still be there for you, to help you along. I wish a great deal many things that will never come to pass. I wish I had spoken to you about your future, or helped you when your sister left us. I wish I had spoken to you more in general about everything and anything.
I cannot even remember what our final words were to each other. I cannot remember a great deal.
I have many regrets, and I can never hope to rectify them. There was so much left unfinished. So much I wanted to do. So much I wanted to tell you about.
But now I cannot think of what else I want to say to you. There’s so much in my head, but I cannot get it down out of this quill and onto the parchment.
I am at an impasse here.
These are to be my last words to you, and for the life of me, I cannot think of what else to write. It is pathetic, truly.
I love you so much, and I cannot express it here. I wish I was as eloquent as you were. Another wish that will never come to be.
You have always been as a daughter to me. It makes me so happy to see you doing such good in the world. When I discovered those two young, scared fillies all those years ago, I would never have thought that you would grow up to become what you are today.
I am so proud of you. I think every father wants their child to do nothing more than to surpass them in every way, and you have done so much more than even that. You never cease to amaze me.
I never deserved you. You are too good for this world. Too wonderful.
I love you.
I miss you so much, even still.
Please do not give up hope. Equestria needs you now more than ever. Above all else, persevere, and never forget your kindness, your laughter, your generosity, your honesty, your loyalty, or your magic.
Everything will be okay. Believe me, for I have seen it.

I will never forget you, my darling sun,

Starswirl

P.S. ~ Whatever you do, do not open the small wooden box in the fourth drawer on the right side of my desk under any circumstances. Keep it locked away someplace safe, even more so than my time travel research.

And then…

And then, hastily scrawled in what little remaining space there was at the bottom was the disconcerting sentence that had kept me up many a night. It seemed almost an afterthought and was hardly even legible, as if he had been in such a hurry that he had not used his magic to write it out.

~On the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal.

As Celestia read that final sentence, her face scrunched up in confusion. “…The stars will aid in her escape…?” Her voice was but a whisper, “Whatever do you think that means? Is it…?” She trailed off, the insinuations of what she did not ask hanging in the air.

I pursed my lips. And there was the very question I had been dreading. Of course that would be the first thing she said. Ah well. That was why I had prepared beforehand.

It was now that our conversation would shift from Starswirl to her own sister.

I took a deep breath. Here we go. “I have spent many years researching that very thing, in the hope of figuring out what it meant.” Here I paused. “…Though it was not until very recent that I understood what it meant.”

She looked at me, expectant.

“It is about…Nightmare Moon…”

Celestia’s eyes flashed, her face twitched, but she stayed silent. There was a slight pitter-patter from her hooves, but nothing more.

I continued. “In the future, on the summer solstice of the thousandth anniversary of her imprisonment, she will escape the moon and return to Equestria.” I prodded Celestia firmly on the chest. “Nightmare Moon will escape, you understand me? Nightmare Moon. It will not be Luna.”

She nodded slowly, then blinked. Trembled. Breathed. “Are-are you absolutely certain?”

“Yes. I have spent much of my own time looking into it. I do not know how Starswirl came by this information, but I am sure that this prophecy will come to pass. Nightmare Moon will return, and you must be ready for it. She will not be Luna. She will not be your sister. You have to understand that.”

She was silent for but a moment.

Then, “But…what if I could figure out a way to save her? I could—”

The implications of what was to come were hitting her now, as they had hit me when I first discovered what the sentence meant, after Nightmare Moon came to be. I had stayed awake for several days trying to figure out a way to try and save her when she inevitably came back.

But there was demonstrably little that could. The only way possible for her to come back to us, short of physically convincing her, were the Elements of Harmony. Only, even now, we still had little idea how they even worked. Hitting her with them again may very well seal her back in the moon.

Not to mention that they were inert and unable to be used at all.

As an unfortunate conclusion it may be, I did not believe that there was any way to save Luna. I had gone through every avenue, every scenario, many times over now. I feared she was forever lost to us. Well and truly gone.

The quicker Celestia understood that, the better. This false hope would only hurt her further.

“Celestia…” I tried to calm her.

“No!” Now she was excited, her eyes alight, her mind swirling with ideas and thoughts. “I can figure out something! I have time to plan. The Elements of Harmony—”

“Have been inert since you imprisoned Nightmare Moon with them.”

“I could figure it out!” she snapped, hopping to her hooves, “I have years! There has to be a solution!”

“Not everything has a solution, Celestia. You have to accept that.”

“…could maybe try to find new Bearers. There have to be enough ponies that fit the…”

“Celestia…”

“…or develop a spell that would cleanse…”

“Celestia.”

“…just talk to her. I know Luna is still in there…”

“Celestia!” I yelled, stamping a hoof on the ground.

She stopped and looked at me.

“Celestia,” I pleaded, “Please, just…just…”

She moved back to me, her features somewhat nervous, as if she was embarrassed about her behavior. “Clover… I can figure it out. I can save her!”

But I could not find any more words to respond with. My mind ran blank. I suddenly felt very tired as an old and familiar guilt stirred within me.

This was not how this was supposed to go.

She gazed at me, eyes sparkling, a grin spread across her face. All at once, she seemed to be the mare I had met many years ago, before anything had happened. She seemed fit to bursting with an optimism and joy that she had been lacking. It was as if I had given her back the hope she had lost, even though it was unfounded.

“I can save her, Clover!” She said again, jubilant, as if I had not heard her before. “I can save her!”

Fire ignited in my belly suddenly, alighting me. “I could have saved her!” I snapped, shouting as loud as my old voice would let me, the anger taking even me by surprise.

Celestia took a step back, blinking, her eyes wide at my outburst. She did not speak.

“I have had this letter for two-hundred years now!” I stood up and stalked to the edge of the dais. “I knew something was going to happen with Luna, I just did not know what exactly! I could not figure it out in time!” I ground my teeth. “I let her alone, and still she was taken from us!”

I seethed then, my breaths coming in short, broken gasps. I was much too old to be yelling as such, so I forced my emotions back into check. A deep breath in. A deep breath out.

I blinked, kept my eyes shut for a moment, and then opened them again.

Celestia was there, near me now. She hesitated some, as if unsure what to do, but then placed a hoof on my shoulder. Her voice was soft, expression concerned. “It is no more your fault than any others. Especially no more than I, her own sister.”

I clenched my eyes shut again and let out a sigh, jerking away from her grasp. “I know in my mind, logically, that there was nothing I could have done to prevent her from losing her way. It was going to happen, as Starswirl had already written about it. It was set in stone. I never could have helped her, even if I had figured out what was going to happen, how neglected she was feeling…

“But my heart still aches out in protest that I could have done something! Anything!” A low whinny built up in the back of my throat. “I had advance knowledge that something was going to happen, but I did not realize just what it meant until it was too late! Until she killed—”

I shut my mouth, glancing to the floor. I did not particularly want to think about such matters at the moment. I rubbed at the hem of my cloak, the coarse fabric soothing my nerves some.

There was silence for some moments.

She did not speak.

Nor did I feel like.

Light was streaming in through the large windows behind me now. I had been here for a long time. The midafternoon sun had begun making its way back down to the horizon. It cast long shadows throughout the room, making everything seem stark and somewhat surreal.

Banners hung off the wall, emblazoned with the sigil of the sun. Bright rows of marble columns lined the room. A plush dark red carpet covered the center aisle, leading from the door all the way to the twin thrones. Rows of seats sat on either side, normally reserved for any observing nobles, but now completely empty.

This room had never felt more vacant and quiet than right now.

I blinked.

Now, Celestia spoke up, drawing me away from myself. “I am sorry for bringing back these feelings. I did not know.” A slight pause. “You do not deserve that kind of guilt.”

“And you do?” My voice crackled some.

“I am old, Clover.” Her mouth twitched some. “And I have a long time to try and atone for my sins. It is my responsibility, and mine alone for what happened to Luna. I failed her, and I failed all of Equestria and everypony in her.”

And here it was. This was a sticking point between the two of us. She always wanted to take on all the fault for Luna and would not admit that it was hurting her. And I would always try and absolve her, especially considering I was more to blame than her, as I had known beforehand that something was to happen.

Talk of this sort always made her uncomfortable and irritated. She did not like anypony else try and tell her how to deal with what happened with Luna, even me. And I had always incessantly pressed that issue, much to her chagrin.

I shook my head. “You cannot believe that, though. It will kill you. I have told you that time and time again. It is not your burden to bear alone! I am at fault too!”

She chuckled at that. “It seems that it is inevitable that we have this same argument, does it not? I believe the last time we saw each other, we ended up at this very discussion.”

“That is because you are a stubborn mare who keeps trying to carry the world on her back when she does not have to!” Her attempt at levity would not distract me here. I knew what she was trying to do.

Her eyes narrowed, coming back into the row. “And you keep on trying to solve problems where there are none! I am fine!”

“You are not! I can tell that you are wrestling with this pain! You have to come to terms that it was not solely your fault!”

“Well I did not have the luxury of having a letter for two-hundred years that told me I would be losing my sister! You even knew Starswirl was going to disappear! I am sure you came to terms with it all fairly quickly!”

I scowled. “That is not fair! I did not know any of what would happen! Do you think I just shrugged off either of them? I mourned for them bo—”

“At least you got to say goodbye to him! Why would you deserve that and not me?! All I got was a letter!” The words came out of her mouth sharp and bitter, and altogether I knew she immediately regretted saying them.

Starswirl.

My heart felt as if it dropped out from under me.

Here I was, arguing with her over this matter, about the responsibility, the guilt, she felt for Luna, and she was still struggling to come to term with what happened to Starswirl.

It had taken me some time to cope with what happened to him, and I had had some two-hundred odd years. She had this appalling thing dropped on her in an hour’s time. And he was as a father to her.

“I…” My mouth felt dry.

She dipped her head towards me, apologizing, ears plastered against her skull. “...I am sorry. I did not… That was wrong of me. I am not the only one who loved him. I am sure you must be—”

“No.” I grimaced. “You need not apologize. This was not the time for that. I… I went too far. I did not come here today to get back into that argument with you again.”

A breath of silence.

She picked up his letter from where it had been sitting on her throne. She held it aloft, looking at it for but a moment before teleporting it away somewhere, likely to her room.

And then words from her. They were carefully chosen and felt they belonged in a political meeting.

“I think… I think it prudent that we take a break now. We discussed some very heavy, emotional things. It might be for the best if we focus on some other matters for a while.” Here she stopped and slipped her hooves back into her ornamental shoes. “Starswirl’s state of affairs can wait another day, can they not?”

She was right here. Starswirl’s demise was a heavy subject and a deeply personal matter to us both. And now with the talk of Luna and Nightmare Moon’s return, we were perhaps not in the best state of mind right now. Tensions were a little high. I was certainly feeling tired and my emotions frayed. I could only wonder how she felt inside.

“Okay,” I relented with a sigh. “We will talk at length later then.”

She gave a soft hum, seemingly pleased, and slipped her torc back around her neck, affixing it with experienced ease.

That was it then. However heated that argument always got, and this recent little spat was not the worst quarrel we had gotten into, we always managed to set aside our differences afterwards. We were both too old to harbor grudges. She was my only remaining friend, and I hers.

Everything would be fine.

We were to be leaving this room and returning to the world. Celestia would not be leaving this place. When we exited the doors, the Princess of Equestria would be walking by my side, her regalia back in place.

No doubt her entire entourage of ponies would be waiting just outside, eagerly waiting for her to continue her royal duties. They would swarm her the moment we set out, hoping to inform her of whatever breaking politics she needed to know.

Then, “Come, Clover. I have something I wish you to try.” She straightened up some and affixed her tiara back atop her head. Her mask was now firmly back in place.

I joined her by her side, making sure to stay a respectable distance away. The nobles would throw a fit if any sort of impropriety was shown.

Her voice spoke to me. “Just some time past, a visiting rhinoceros dignitary from East Hornsia introduced me to a drink native to his country called ‘tea.’ I think you will enjoy it very much. It is quite relaxing, and I have found myself indulging in it as of late.” A practiced smile spread across her face.

“That sounds lovely.”

She stepped down the first step of the dais and offered me a steadying hoof. I took it, and together we walked down the stairs.

“Clover?” I glanced at her, and she glanced at me. For a moment, Celestia was there beside me. “Thank you for telling me about Starswirl. I… It is good to have closure, however terrible it may be.”

I smiled at her. “You are welcome.”

And so we went.

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