This is my Purpose
All I ever wanted was to be loved. Is that so wrong?
When I was just a foal I found a filly who I thought I would love forever. She was beautiful and funny and brave; but she was also stupid, though I forgave her for this. Everyone is stupid compared to me, and she was less stupid than anyone else I’d ever met.
She was my only friend, and when I was just thirteen I had already made up my mind that I was going to marry her one day, and did everything I could to make her happy. We chased each other through the forest near our home, hid trinkets for her to find in ruins beyond them, fought the mock battles she invented; and when her pet dog died, I built her a new one that would last forever.
At first, Ahuizotl was simply meant to be a replacement, but she wanted to know if I could teach him to do any tricks; so I taught him how to talk for me. I gave him a hand like a monkey for a tail so he could use tools to help me work, and when I saw that the ridiculous pleased her, I put his eyes in his nostrils and painted him a new shade of blue. She wanted someone other than me to play the villain in her stories and I wanted to fight alongside her; so I made him smarter and bigger.
I was fifteen when my parents died, and her mother adopted me. We weren’t related, but the mare I loved was now my big sister, but I still wanted to marry her. Was this wrong of me?
Then one day we explored deeper into the ruins than we ever had before, and I found a vault protected by an enchanted lock. She asked me to open it, and when I did it unlocked seven ancient temples that had been hidden outside of time, and brought them back to the world.
Among the endless sea of runes I could see a map which no one else could; showing the locations of the other temples, how to get to them, and how to win the treasures they contained. She asked me to translate the maps for her, so I did.
It took time, but as seasons ground into years the journal I was making for the love of my life grew. Finding all the seven treasures would be the adventure of a lifetime, which was all she ever wanted; and I would be there with her, which was all I ever wanted. Everything was going to be perfect, but then it wasn’t.
Her mother got sick and needed care. She wanted us to be there for her, as she perished. This mare had taken care of me when I needed her, it seemed only right that I should take care of my mother now that she needed me, but my sister was impatient. She was not willing to watch her mother die, or live under the monotony of nurse duties and she could not resist the call of the hunt; so she left to accomplish our life’s mission without me.
She took our dog with her when she left; even though she knew that I can’t talk without him. I accepted this; grateful at least that she would be safe with Ahuizotl to protect her, but then she managed to make him malfunction and he fell back to the old programming she had asked for when we were kids: building rooms for her to escape from and then locking her inside.
Sometimes I wondered if she had broken him intentionally; so she could get off on her escapes like she always had, or make her stories more interesting, but in the end, it did not matter. Ahuizotl was programmed to stay close enough to her that he could monitor her vital signs and if they reached dangerous levels for any reason; he would do whatever was necessary to save her, as any good dog would.
I sent her countless letters from myself and mother, asking her to come home, but our cries went unanswered. For eleven years we did not see my sister, but we read about her, through the stories that she wrote which had one fact for every ten fictions. The Sapphire Statue and the Heptagon Chest existed; the Griffin’s Goblet and the Scepter of the Deep did not. She recounted imaginary parents; but described the librarian of our hometown accurately. She wrote a string of lovers who I never knew the truth of, and an evil twin sister that I knew was a lie, but never a word of her real family. Never one word of me.
She took credit for translating all the ancient runes herself.
When she had found six of the seven treasures, I had her kidnapped and dragged back to me so she could be there for mother’s death. She stayed for only two months, before leaving again to find her one final treasure, and mother died a week later without her there.
With mother buried I finally left to find my sister. I didn’t want to hunt treasure with her anymore. I didn’t want to marry her. I only wanted to understand why she had abandoned us to look for the treasure she didn’t need and never kept, but gave to museums as soon as she had found them. Even after all these years, she could not give me an answer for why she had done what she did.
Now, she can’t tell anyone anything anymore.
At least I got my dog back.
For years I wandered in regret with Ahuizotl as my only companion; hating and loving her, missing her, and glad I would never see her again. I was lost… but now I have found someone new. She was beautiful and funny and kind; but she is also stupid, though I have forgiven her for this.
She does not love me either, however, but that does not matter. I will make her love me. Is that so very wrong?
Picture of Futtershy by Sererena