Lil Pip in the Vogonverse

by Ron Jeremy Pony

First published

Ruined cities, Ghouls, insane raiders, slavers, Hellhounds, Zombieponies, these are things that Littlepip knows well. But a world where the Megaspells never hit, where there is not death... It's a world beyond her wildest dreams. and its wrong...

Ruined cities, Ghouls, insane raiders, slavers, Hellhounds, Zombieponies, these are things that Littlepip knows well. But a world where the Megaspells never hit, where there is not death... It's a world beyond her wildest dreams. and its wrong...

Not everypony that ended up on Earth was truly meant to be here. Not everpony was part of the long game that Discord was playing in order to save Equus as he knew it. Occasionally things happen that lets somepony end up in a world they simply weren't meant to be. Could that be the case here? Could Littlepip simply be somewhere she just wasn't meant to be?

The picture is Sinrar's, please check out Sinrar's excellent work on Derpibooru

Wastelands Never Change

View Online

Lil’ Pip in the Vogonverse

Or How I learned to love the Bomb

Chapter 1 Waste Lands never Change

Her eyes opened, the sound of the night around her, but something was missing. She didn't hear the far off sound of ghouls, the terrifying howls of the hellhounds, or even the occasional squawk of a gryphon mercenary. No, it was just a quiet night. A quiet night in freezing temperatures. Slowly she got up, her PipBuck coming on and becoming active. She waited as it communicated with the still active technology, and after a few moments it finally let her know where she was.

"Oklahoma City? What's Oklahoma City?! I was... I was in Las Pegasus last! Calamity! Velvet! Steelhooves? Anypony?"

The sound of metal settling gained her attention and she turned to see a structure that looked familiar and foreign at the same time. It was made of metal looking boxes, stacked on top of each other, reaching high, so high, even higher at some points than the broken buildings in Manehattan. The PipBuck began to flash several red dots, all of which were getting closer.

"Look, another rich asshole dropped off his sex toy... Boys, let's have some fun."

She felt around herself and felt little Macintosh. This was familiar, this was something she knew. Raiders, and she could deal with Raiders.

Years of wandering the wastelands that had once been Equestria had done something for her. Littlepip was no longer the scared filly she had been when she left Stable two.

She was strong enough to survive, but the watcher had been right about something when he first contacted her. She needed friends. Dealing with the raiders that tried to trap her had been easy enough.


Her PipBuck's S.A.T.S. had been more than accurate enough to get four of the raiders with no problem, and it seemed that once they realized the kind of gun little Macintosh was the others took to hiding among the ruined wreckage of old carriages.


Even in the waste lands she was never one for hide and go seek. She managed to get past them, made it toward a staircase, and climbed up it hearing the metal pop and creak the entire time. She wasn't sure what was going to happen, but these raiders weren't that different from the ones she had dealt with before.


A door opened, and she was pulled inside. The magically held gun was aiming wildly, the S.A.T.S. hadn't had enough time to reset yet, and she wasn't sure what was going on.


"I'm not your enemy!"


She waited until the light came on and she saw old posters on the wall. A strange design that looked like the Stable Tech posters back home, but it said Vault Tech.

She turned and the guy she saw was wearing a similar suit, on his arm was a Pipbuck, but it was a little different.


"Wow... I'm guessing that you're an Equestrian, but... This is amazing... Ummm.. I'm Carl, Carl Jackson, relayer of truth, and virtue holder for New Vegas. Welcome to the Fallout underground.”

She looked at him, uncertain of what exactly he was saying. He was dressed like her, there was certainly something that resembled Stable-Tech propaganda around them, but this was beyond weird. Maybe he was a mutation. It could be that she had hit some portal or teleporation device that the Ministry of Magic had created for the War Effort. Outside there was the sound of metal creaking, groaning, and the obviously mutated stallion looked worried.

“We need to get gone quick like. Comeon, we’ll head down.”

She raised an eyebrow, pulling up Little Macintosh. The obvious .44 caliber hand cannon was more than enough to settle an argument. He instantly realized why she had managed to get past the would be attackers down on the ground floor. Knowing how to use that weapon would make her dangerous as hell.

“No, I’ve got a way out the back.”

He flipped a switch and she watched as a gate came down behind the front door. It wasn’t quite like the Stable, but the technology wasn’t that different. She followed him, unsure if she should trust him this early on, but with Little Macintosh already out if he turned out to be dangerous she would end him then and there.

The backway out seemed to be through a small hidden door inside of a laundry room. The door itself was built into the wall, and she wouldn’t have noticed it if not for the off colored panel. He pressed it, pushing it in, and then out of the way. When he did she saw a small bit of light coming in around a square piece of metal. He pulled that piece of metal in, and she saw steel beams, girders, and old system that looked dangerous at best, completely suicidal at worst. He slipped out, and she followed suit. Once outside she realized that they were standing on a platform that was barely a foot and half wide, but about four foot long. On one end of it was a ladder. She watched as he used the space to carefully turn around, and then he began the climb downward.

Doing the same was difficult, especially since she was a mare and not a stallion. It wasn’t that a mare couldn’t do anything a stallion could do, or vice versa, but while she wasn’t as endowed as Velvet Remedy, well, she still had a pair of breasts that kept her from hugging the side of the metal box that obviously acted like somepony’s home. At least the climb down wasn’t bad. The ladder was actually well made, and it didn’t touch anything except for the girders. There was no sounds from it, no invitations to the would be attackers.

For all rights and purposes it was a perfect and wonderful way down to the bottom of this…

“What is this called?”

She realized that since calling out for her friends this was the first time she’d said a word, and it really was the first time she’d specifically spoken to anypony here.

“It’s a Stack. This is the Tenth Street Stacks. Rumor is the Commodore is somewhere in this area. He’s a right bastard, and if he catches you… You’d wish that a pack of rabid ghouls got to you first.”

She swallowed as she climbed down. She’d met ponies, mares and stallions, like that. Some of the raiders had been bad enough, but she could remember someponies that were just vicious for the purpose of being vicious. They seemed to take a special delight in hurting others, and despite what she had been through, what she had done, and what she was prepared to do she couldn’t count herself as one.

It was a line she wasn’t ready to cross. She didn’t believe that she would ever really cross it. Killing Ponies wasn’t hard. Most of them that found themselves under her aim had deserved to be there. It’s not saying that she didn’t have innocent blood on her hooves, she did, but then almost everypony did.

When she felt solid ground she let out a sigh of relief. That was until she saw him lift another metal door. Groaning she rolled her eyes, activated her PipBuck Lamp, and followed him down another set of ladders and walkways until they stood in front of something she completely recognised. It was a Stable, The door was open, which was odd, and she almost expected to see it full of ghouls, raiders, slavers, or even super mutants.

What she saw was hundreds more like the stallion that had been upstairs. They were dressed like they lived in the stable. The door to the Stable had the numbers 101 painted onto it. She’d never been to Stable 101, but upon entering it she felt at home. The layout was exactly as she remembered. It was like Stable 101 was an exact copy of Stable 2. She knew where everything was, the clinic, the maintenance bay, the Overmare’s area, everything was just as it should be.

She walked into the Stable, and dozens upon dozens of these poor mutated ponies watched her. She could hear her PipBuck’s internal radio begin to pick up frequencies. After a moment she heard a song she had never heard before. Oh, it was the same style as the music out in the wastelands, but it was certainly a song that she had never heard.

“The world has gone mad today

And good's bad today,

And black's white today,

And day's night today,

And that gent today

You gave a cent today

Once had several chateaux.”

She listened to the song. A stallion singing it, a very talented one at that, and then she looked at Carl who seemed amazed. He messed with his PipBuck which was obviously not as well designed and it caught the very last of the song. The stares of the other ponies began to really get to her. It was as if they had simply never seen another pony before, and then she heard the door open.

“Brother Carl, you have found her, the one, our prayers have been answered.”

“Answered.” multiple ponies said at once.

“What’s going on?” Littlepip asked uncertain of the attention being given to her.

“You’ve come, you’ve come to show us the way, the true way,” the feminine voice said.

She looked at the obviously mutated mare, and two things crossed her mind. The first was that for such a weird pony, she was stunning beautiful. Her red hair hung low, her clothing, while still a stable uniform, fit her like a second skin, and she had the looks of a body made for sin. Littlepip swallowed the drool that was trying to form in her mouth. Part of her couldn’t help but imagine what she looked like under those clothes. Those large, wonderful breasts, those wide hips, did her barn door swing that way? Maybe it swung both ways…

She shook her head, no, she was obviously beautiful, but there was obviously something wrong with this place. She backed up only to hear the door to the stable close. She turned to see it set in place, the terminal indicating that it was truly locked. She let out a worried nicker, and she saw Carl who looked concerned.

“Julia…”

She turned toward him, “Overseer! I am the overseer brother Carl, least you forget your place!”

He lowered his eyes from her own, “Overseer, this isn’t right. We are all part of the Fallout Underground, but please, locking the Vault now is suicide. We are still months away from everything being completely ready.

She laughed, and while musical, Littlepip could hear the insanity in it.

“Is that what you think Brother Carl? You believe that we’ve simply squandered the time given to us in merely completing the tasks one at a time? I’ve had technicians working around the clock to finish the Vault. We are functional, and now, now that a native Vault Dweller is here to teach us, we can truly begin as we were meant to!”

Carl finally looked up, he swallowed back something, and Littlepip saw the sorrow on his face, “Sorry for this…”

The next thing she felt was something hard against the back of her head, and then it was darkness.

New York - Ark, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash’s Apartment

Discord looked up from his Wednesday tea, a new little tradition that he had begun with Fluttershy, Ark, Rainbow Dash, and of course Fluttershy’s Foals. The foals were far too small currently to really understand the tradition, but regardless, he felt it important to spend time with them. After all, he was made one of their godparents.

That’s when he felt it. A very strange bit of magic, not Chaotic, not really, but certainly Equestrian. True Equestrian. There was no hint of the natural magics that ran through Earth, no rebirthed pony magic… This was a true visitor, and for once, in a very long time, Discord felt surprise creeping upon him.

A sly smile crossed his lips. He did so love surprises. Lovely chaotic things they were. With any luck this surprise would be more than enough to drive Celestia up the wall. He heard a question and looked toward his friends, “Sorry, my mind was a million miles away, but here it comes.”

As on que a cartoonish looking brain, complete with feet and arms made of the same matter it was composed of, walked on thin air, waved at them, and then lifted the top of his skull before hopping inside and closing it back.

“Fluttershy, I’m afraid that I have to call our Wednesday tea short. I do have something that I simply must look in on. But I will make it up next week, and I’ll even bring a surprise guest with me. Perhaps more. Toodles!”

With that the draconequus snapped his talons, and poofed into thin air.

“Okay, is it just me, or is Discord getting weirder than normal?”

Fluttershy looked at Rainbow Dash with a disapproving look, “Rainbow Dash! Discord is a good draconequus, and besides, he’s proven that he’s mostly good, most of the time, and besides, that’s just how he is. Although I do wonder where he took off to in such a hurry.”