An anthology of all of my old, bad stories from the past which have never been posted.
Take a peek into the early (2013-2014) days of LOL3evee's writing activity within the walls of FIMFictionia, a city best known for its vast archives of literature. Shelves upon shelves full of good literature lay within its walls, and LOL3evee had written decent stories outside the city's borders, yet she couldn't manage to flip the switch in her brain that allows her to actually write decent and comprehensible stories with plot lines that ponies can actually follow. Join me in this anthology of the never-before seen stories, where LOL3evee goes into try-hard mode and attempts to write epic chronicles without knowing how to pull it off. Most of the stories here are from 2013.
SIDE NOTE: This exists entirely to force me to face how bad my writing actually was, and to aid in pushing my writing along the path of improvement... also to show people the old stories that they're going to be glad I never posted beforehand. Besides, it's good to show everyone how terrible your work was when you first started, so you can compare your most recent work with your best and see how you have improved. What's that saying again? Never cower in the face of evil...? Ah, whatever. Most of the stories in this anthology are definitely terrible, though.
Twilight Sparkle sat in her study in Canterlot Castle, reading a book filled to the brim with information on chaos. She looked intently through the book, her eyes sliding across the pages like wildfire. For several hours, Twilight sat with that book, making sure she did not miss a single detail. Soon, the moment she'd been dreading those last few hours finally came. She had finished the book. With a sigh, she put the book down.
"I can't believe I already finished the book," Twilight muttered. "It was so fascinating! i didn't know there were that many cults devoted entirely to the lord of chaos. At least not until I read that book... and finished it! Oh, I wish I knew more about Discord (or at least that book were longer)."
Twilight got up and headed for the door. No sooner than she had gotten out of the room, the god of chaos himself popped right out of the roof; his head seeming to come out of the ceiling.
"Ack!" Twilight jumped backwards and hit one of her front legs on the door frame, and Discord laughed.
"Ow! What are you doing, Discord?! And stop laughing at me! That really hurt."
"I'm sorry, but you should've seen the look on your face!" When Discord stopped laughing, Twilight struck back at him with a question.
"What are you doing here? You didn't answer my question."
"Well, I was bored, so I decided to walk around. That's when I saw you coming out of your room, so I decided to have a little fun!"
Twilight sighed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Just stay out of trouble, okay?"
"Okie dokie, artichokie," Discord replied. He snapped, and an artichoke appeared in his hand. He swallowed it whole and proceeded to choke on it, causing a passing guard to preform CPR on him. Twilight facehoofed and kept walking, pretending that nothing had happened.
Twilight went straight to Princess Celestia's chambers and knocked on her door.
Celestia's sun was bright and warm, and it was the perfect day to practice flying. Scootaloo stood on the edge of a cloud with Rainbow Dash, awaiting instructions from the cyan mare.
"Alright squirt," Rainbow Dash said, "it's time to start your next lesson."
Scootaloo's wings flared open, and the pegasus stood at attention.
"What is the first rule of flight?" The cyan mentor asked.
"Pay attention to your surroundings, taking care to not fly into anything!"
"Second rule?"
"Pay attention to the currents and adjust your wings to the change in wind speed and altitude!"
"Great job, Scoots! Now," Rainbow Dash said, "what is the final rule of flight?"
"Never push yourself too hard, and don't let your wings stiffen too much," Scootaloo answered with confidence.
"Great! The first step in learning how to fly is memorizing these simple rules and, as you know, training."
Scootaloo stood up straight. She wanted to fly already, but she knew that she had to train herself correctly before she could actually fly.
"Let's start with a few simple stretches," Rainbow Dash said. "First, you sit down and raise your wings."
Rainbow Dash sat down to demonstrate, and her young student followed. Scootaloo did as instructed, sitting down and raising her wings high.
"Next step, move your wings slowly in circular motions. You should feel a slight burn in your joints, but his is good1 It means your wings are getting the stretch that they need."
Again, the filly obeyed, doing exactly as she was told. After a few minutes, Rainbow Dash stopped the filly and began a new stretch, this time, however, it was a leg exercise. The pegasi continued doing stretches and other exercises for a good ten minutes.
"Okay! I think you're ready to start learning," Rainbow Dash said. "Let's start with hovering."
Scootaloo readied herself for takeoff, and began to flap rapidly. Her tiny wings emitted a vibrating sound as she moved her wings up and down as fast as she could. Beads of sweat began to run down the orange filly's face as she strained to lift herself off the cloud floor. After what seemed like hours, Scootaloo finally lifted herself off the ground ever so slightly.
"Nice job squirt," Rainbow Dash said, patting the filly on the back. "You look beat! You deserve a nice, long break."
Scootaloo collapsed on the ground, panting heavily. Her mentor brought her a cup of water, which she downed faster than a woodpecker can hammer a tree. As the cool water hit Scootaloo's dry mouth, she felt a wave of relief. After the water had gone, she looked into the glass, a despondent frown on her face.
"More water, please?" The filly said
As soon as she had asked, Rainbow Dash shot away, returning seconds later with another glass of water.
"Thanks," Scootaloo said.
"No problem!"
Scootaloo drank the second glass and placed it down. She sat next to her idol, watching the golden sun set on the horizon. Shades of purple and orange blended together beautifully, creating the perfect sunset for a day full of hard work. The orange pegasus sighed. Today was a good day, and she didn't want it to end. She wished she could spend time with Rainbow Dash forever. Of course, she couldn't spend time with her forever. Rainbow Dash was a busy mare. She had stuff to do. As the sun disappeared on the horizon, Rainbow Dash turned to face Scootaloo.
"Hey squirt," she said. "I got permission from the orphanage to let you stay at my house for tonight, and I was wondering if-"
It was a typical day in Ponyville. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Papercut was wreaking havoc.
A pink blur shot across the bright blue sky, ruining the way Rainbowdash had set up the clouds."Hey," The annoyed cyan pegasus shouted.
" Watch where you're going! I just cleared those clouds!"
Not seeming to notice the ruckus behind her, the pink mare shot across the sky, gleefully crashing into trees as she went. She suddenly angled her wings in an awkward skyward-diagonal angle, causing her to halt mid-flight, thus plummeting to the ground. She landed right on top of the ever narcissistic Diamond Tiara,
"M-my mane! You ruined my mane! What's your problem, you low-class filly?!"
When Diamond Tiara looked up and saw who had caused this "problem," her mood went from bad to worse.
"Oh, it's YOU." The spoiled filly scoffed. "Get your filthy hide off of me, Papercut! I don't want my pretty clean coat to be stained by your unclean coat!"
Papercut lifted herself off the filly. "Oops! Didn't see you there DT."
Diamond Tiara's scowl deepened, and she brushed off her fur.
Papercut had seen her own tail, and rushed off in pursuit of it before the filly could finish her sentence. Soon after, Papercut heard a familiar voice call to her.
"Hey, Papercut!"
The startled pegasus about-faced, only to see Ponyville's local dentist, Colgate, waving at her.
" Papercut, you missed your appointment yesterday," the blue unicorn sighed.
"I did?" Papercut was confused.
"Yes! Remember the Ten O'clock appointment you requested a week ago?"
"Oh, yeah! That appointment. Oops. Sorry!"
Colgate sighed. "Try to remember next time, okay?"
"Alright!" Papercut replied cheerfully. And with that, she flew off in hot pursuit of her tail (after spending twenty minutes trying to remember what she was doing).
Later that evening, Papercut plopped down on the couch with a piece of burnt toast, and watched TV. (and when I say she watched TV, I mean that she sat down and stared at the wall for four hours) She soon got bored of this practice and decided to go take a walk in the Everfree Forest.
"La, la, la! 'Walkin in the WOOOOOODS!" Papercut sang (or should I say, screeched in an off-key sounding tone).
Suddenly, the joyful mare tripped and fell flat on her face.
Papercut grunted then sat up. as she did, she caught sight of an extraordinarily shiny red stone. There was something off about the stone, it seemed. As if it were penetrating her very soul. Papercut squealed with delight.
"Yay! A shiny thing!"
She snatched the stone up and stared deep into its crystalline features. Soon, Papercut began to feel numb. Her vision became blurry, and she wobbled from side to side.
{This fanfiction is presented in Rainbow's point of view, as she is recording herself (and Papercut) tell their story}
Hello? Hellooooooo? Is this thing on? Oh! Okay. Good. Now you're probably wondering why I'm stranded in this... um, place. Well let me tell you, I never wanted to end up stranded here. In fact, I never wanted to end up stranded here with PAPERCUT of all ponies. (no offense, Papercut) I mean, LOOK at this place! It's so wei-AAAAAAAAAAUGH! Run! Run! Run!
.....
Sorry about that! We were just being chased by this giant... lizard, um... thing, on two legs. It was HUGE! Anyways, Let me tell you the story of how we ended up here in the first place.
{What place?}
Nothing, Papercut! Anyways, let's get started!
It all began when Papercut was strolling through Ponyville...
[Flashback :D]
Papercut was walking along as usual, and then she saw this weird thing on the ground. Then she got excited over it. A little TOO excited about it. I say this because she started running around screaming. I say this because she crashed into me and sent my sandwich flying into a puddle. I say THIS BECAUSE WE GOT STUCK HERE! Oops, heh heh... sorry. I just went a little overboard with that. I guess I'm just tired. So, anyways! She crashed into me and the thing she found flew through the air and got stuck in my mane.
"Oops! Sorry, Dash!" That's what she had said to me.
" Meh. It's all right. Just don't do that again. I mean, seriously! That was my SANDWICH."
"Oops."
Then I noticed the thing that flew from her hooves to my mane. I said, "Um, what in the name of Celestia is this?"
"It's a piece of BACON! I found it on the floor," she replied.
Slendermane walked alone in the Everfree Forest. He was waiting for some stupid pony to come stumbling into the forest, so he could rip them apart and impale them upon a tree. They always told him it was fun, so why not? His train of thought was suddenly derailed when he heard soft crying coming from the right. He turned to the right, and saw something that pleased him so.
There was a purple filly of about five years of age sitting under a tree. By the looks of it, she was alone. And crying. He was about to teleport behind her, but something inside him said not to. It felt strange. Usually, he would grab the kid and rip her apart. Today, however, he was feeling... strange.
Slendermane's ears twitched. He had never felt this way before! It was a warm, protective feeling that told him to comfort the filly. Could it be that I'm experiencing a paternal side of which I never knew of? The blank-faced stallion thought. He actually felt sorry for this weeping child.
They began to scream at him. The voices. The ones that caused Slendermane to preform such atrocious deeds. He was sick of it. He followed his parental instincts and walked towards the child, patting her on the shoulder with a hoof to comfort her. The filly turned to face him, her expression remorseful, but not fearful.
"H-hi," the filly said. "My name is Lunar Dream. What's yours?"
Slendermane stood there. Name... what was his name? I... I don't remember my name. He used telepathy to communicate with the girl due to his lack of a mouth.
"That's okay. I could give you a name."
Again, Slendermane stood there. He was getting a name! " I think I would like that," the stallion said.
"Well, you're tall and slender, so I'll call you Slendy," the filly said.
Slendy. The name felt right. Thank you. So, why are you crying?
"I was playing hide and seek with my friends here, and I hid in that log." She pointed towards a hollow log about six meters away. "I guess I got sleepy after a while, so I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was dark and my friends were gone. They were the only family I have..."
Slendy couldn't help but feel sorry for her. If he had heard correctly, she had no parents. What a horrible childhood she must have had. Slendy felt he had to do something.
I have no family either, Lunar Dream. Maybe I could be your new dad?
Lunar Dream immediately hugged Slendermane, who hugged the filly back.
