Ultimate Selfishness

by Arcanum -Phantasy

First published

though it is the strongest stone of all, a diamond can be as brittle as glass.........

in the wake of the biggest tragedy of her life, Diamond Tiara must make the biggest choice of her young life: move on from the loss of her only friend and family, or end it all. luckily, three unlikely allies are there to help her make the right choice......
Please support me on Patreon. Every little bit helps.:applecry:

Cracks

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Diamond Tiara stared into the deep chasms of Ghastly Gorge, her once strong and piercing blue eyes now dull and listless. A cold breeze passed through her mane as it hung loosely over part of her face, it free to move now that she wasn't wearing her trademark tiara. Her gaze shifted to the foreboding overcast sky, a empty sigh freeing itself from her muzzle as past events ran through her memories. Her father, Filthy Rich, had gone on a trip to the Crystal Empire to negotiate possible busyness opportunities with Princess Cadence and her husband Shinning Armer about a week ago. Diamond wanted to come along too, but her father forbade it, saying that she was still grounded for her latest moment of cruelty towards the CMC. She remembered the last thing she said to him before stomping up the stairs to her room.

I hate you daddy!

That sentence echoed in her mind like a sonic rainboom, each mental reverberation adding more guilt and regret to the poor damaged filly's heart. Then came the most painful memory, the memory of her looking at the paper the next day to find that her father was never coming back. Apparently, there was some kind of engine malfunction that caused the train he was on to derail itself and roll off a cliff. According to the paper, there were no survivors. Diamond Tiara felt something break insider her when she read that, but fate had an even crueler joke to play on her. That same day, she noticed that Silver Spoon hadn't come to class. Figuring that she probably called in sick or playing hooky, Diamond decided to stop by her place so she could get some kind of handle on her father's death. what she got instead was more heartbreak; Silver Spoon was on that train as well.

Why did I say that? she thought casting an empty glance back down to the bottom of the gorge in front of her. That thought brought the need for tears, but she ran out of those days ago.

Memories of sleepless nights and hallow days flashed into her mind. With glazed eyes, she watched her fellow students enjoying themselves at the playground. None of them said anything to her but she could tell what they were thinking. They thought she deserved it. That after all the abuse she put them through, karma had finally dealt the spoiled filly the fate she so justly earned. And she knew that they were right. She was a terrible, selfish, manipulative brat that always got her way and didn't care who she trampled over to get what she wanted. With every fiber of her being, she believed that the world would be a brighter, better place without her. It was at that point that she made her decision, but first she had to do something, one last act of selfishness that actually might do somepony some good for a change. She rose to her hooves and walked over to her usual victims; the CMC. Naturally, the three fillies were leery of her, not entirely sure what to expect from the damaged filly. For what was probably the most uncomfortable minute of their young lives, Diamond Tiara reached up and plucked her namesake off of her head and set in on the ground in front of Apple bloom.

"Here. Take it."

Not waiting for a response, Diamond Tiara turned, and walked away.

That memory made Diamond chuckle a little to herself.

Figures. Even when I do something good I'm still selfish.

With a depressed sigh, Diamond Tiara closed her eyes. In just a few seconds all the pain and loneliness of all she lost would be gone. In just a few seconds the disease known as Diamond Tiara would be removed from this world.

I'm sorry.

With that, she stepped off of the edge of the cliff. For half a second she felt the wind of the gorge rushing past her mane. Its howl sounding like a welcome lullaby. Suddenly, she heard a loud yelp fallowed by a sharp tug on her tail. At that same moment, she felt her decent stop. Confused, she opened her eyes and looked at her tail. Diamond gasped as she saw her tail clamped tightly in Applebloom's mouth while Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell kept an equally tight grip on their friend to prevent her from fallowing Diamond to her doom.

"A' right girls," Applebloom growled through Diamond's tail. "Pull us up!"

With loud grunts and a few feeble attempts at telekinesis, the three fillies succeeded in rescuing their former enemy. The CMC sat panting from the strain of preventing another catastrophe. Well, one that didn't involve trying to get their cutie marks at least. Diamond Tiara looked at them in shock.

"W-Why did you stop me?" she asked, shaking. "After everything I did to you, why did you stop me?!"

The CMC all looked at each other before giving Diamond the same look one might give to an alien.

"Diamond," Sweetie Bell squeaked. "You were going to kill yourself. What did you think we were going to do?"

Scootaloo nodded before adding, "Yeah! I mean, sure. We don't like you that much and you've been a jerk to us for as long as I can remember, but that doesn't mean we want you dead!"

"We were worried about ya Diamond," Applebloom said, resting a hoof on her shoulder.

And just like that, the armer around Diamond's heart cracked, bringing tears she thought she lost to her eyes as she cried. All of her pain turned into tears as the three fillies embraced her, letting their warmth surround her like a blanket. After a long while, Diamond managed to get some of her self-control back and the Crusaders let her out of their collective hug.

"Th-Thank you," Diamond stuttered, wiping stray tears out of her eyes.

"Any time," Applebloom smiled.

Obsidian

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Obsidian


Diamond looked around herself, but all she could see was darkness. The air was still and foreboding with a strong sense of death. The ground was cold stone that filled the shadows with hollow echoes as she took a few cautious steps into her surroundings.

"H-Hello?" she called, a chill shooting down her back. "Is anypony there? Apple Bloom? Scootaloo? Sweetie Bell? Anypony?"

As if on cue, the sound of hoofsteps sounded from behind her. A relieved sigh escaped her muzzle as she turned to face whoever was approaching her.

"There you guys are! Honestly, I thought-"

Her words died on her lips. Staggering into her line of sight were the bloody carcases of ponies. There were hundreds, all of them covered in bloody lacerations with bones jutting unnaturally out of random parts of their bodies. The few of them that were wearing clothes were covered now with tattered rags covered with blood and mud. Some were missing limbs or the back halves of their bodies, leaving trails of blood as they dragged themselves towards her. The once silent darkness was now filled with the moans of the damned as Diamond Tiara stared at the army of monstrosities that closed in on her.

She had to move. She had to escape! If she didn't she was going to die!

Screaming, she forced herself to turn to run but again saw something that froze her in her tracks. Standing about six feet away from her was her father and only friend, both in the same level of trauma as the monstrosities creeping in on Diamond. The two cadavers slowly approached her, moving in degrees of grace that should've been impossible for such thoroughly destroyed ponies. As they closed in on her, they continually whispered, "Why did we have to die? Why do you get to live? It should've been you."

Diamond fell to her knees, tears poring from her eyes. She closed her eyes and covered her ears in a desperate attempt to block out the macabre mob as well as the demonic mantra coming from her loved ones. Suddenly, a pair of hooves lifted her into the air, the hooves of the monster wearing her father's face.

"D-Daddy! P-Please don't!" she begged, tears of fear streaming down her face.

The corps looked up at her, his glazed eyes locking with hers. The dead silence from before returned all of the corpses seeming to turn into hellish statues. Diamond stayed just as still, to scared to move, her sobbing pants being the only sign of life in the grisly void. Then, in a voice as chilling as an arctic wind, her father growled, "Why wasn't it you!?" before throwing her into the mob of undead terrors. She screamed as the monsters grabbed her, several of them grabbing ahold of her limbs with their mouths. The terrified filly struggled against them, but their grip was to strong. All she could do was scream as she felt them pulling on her legs, slowly tearing her apart.

Her eyes flew open as she screamed bloody murder. Panting, she forced herself into a sitting position, desperate to get her bearings. She was sitting in a humble bed set in the middle of an equally modest square bedroom. In the dim light she could see faded wallpaper decorating the walls with pictures of apples. In one corner of the room was a large dresser accompanied with a toy-box filled with all kinds of stuffed animals. To her left was a small nightstand with a lamp on it that a few moments ago had been left on to help her sleep. Her blanket, sheets, and pillow were drenched with sweat and tears, souvenirs from the same nightmare that had haunted her since the accident. She put her face into her hooves and cried, terror and frustration pushing down on her like a bolder.

It was then that she heard the door to the room creak open. With a startled yelp, she dove under her blanket.

"D-Diamond?" said a groggy yet still concerned voice.

Recognizing the southern drawl, Diamond poked her head out from under her blanket. Stepping through the doorway was a very nervous Applebloom.

"A-Applebloom?" Diamond stuttered, not sure if she was really awake or if her nightmare had decided to attack her in other forms of sadistic pleasure. "Is that r-really you?"

"Yeah? Are you okay Diamond Tiara? Ah heard scream'n."

Diamond nodded.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just had a nightmare, that's all."

"Ah see," said Applebloom looking both relieved and worried. "Ya wanna talk 'bout it?"

Again Diamond nodded.

With a kind smile, Applebloom walked over to Diamond's bed and took a seat at the foot. For what felt like an hour, Diamond told Applebloom everything about her recurring nightmare, not leaving out a single detail. As she got to the part where she was about to be dismembered, her body started to shake and tears started to form at the corners of her eyes. It was at that point that Applebloom threw her forelegs around her in a tight embrace.

"It's okay sugar cube. None o' those nasty monsters 'er gonna getcha'."

Still trembling, Diamond pulled herself out of her new friend's embrace just enough to look her in the eyes.

"Thanks," she sniffled a sad smile gracing her muzzle. "But they're right, you know. It really should've been me."

In response to that, Applebloom gripped Diamond by her shoulders and gave her a firm shake.

"None of that now. Talkin' like that will only make yer Pa and Silver Spoon worry on the other side. They'd want ya to be happy and live a nice long time for them. And, when ya do see them again, ya'll have all kinds o' stories ta tell 'em."

"Are you sure?" Diamond asked trembling.

"I'd like ta think so. It helps me get by."

As she said this, her gaze became distant and for a brief moment, the little yellow filly looked no younger than Applejack in Diamond's eyes.

"Thank you," Diamond said, wiping some stray tears out of her eyes.

Applebloom still felt a little nervous leaving Diamond alone in her room. In the state she was it, the poor filly was likely to have a heart attack if somepony didn't do something.

"What ya say ah sleep with ya tonight," Applebloom said. "Ya know, just incase ya have another episode."

Trembling, she nodded. The two fillies curled up under the covers, holding each other tightly. As Applebloom's warmth washed over her, Diamond's trembling started to slow. Her fear started to melt away as the sound of her friend's heartbeat lulled her into a state of calmed bliss. Feeling the fatigue of countless sleepless nights catching up with her, Diamond let out a yawn, before nuzzling up to Applebloom and letting her heavy lids slowly slide shut.

Before sleep could take her, she whispered something she never thought she would say with such sincerity to the CMC member.

"Thank you, Applebloom."

With that, Diamond fell asleep. All the while, a content smile graced both their muzzles.

"Anytime Diamond."

Sapphire

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Sapphire



Early morning rays slipped through the thin lace curtains, rousing Diamond out of what was probably the best sleep she had in days.

Not now sun, she thought with a groan as she tried to hide her face beneath her pillow. As she did, she took notice of the added weight laying next to her. Grogginess slowing her mind, Diamond raised her head to investigate the intruder. Laying curled up beside her was Applebloom, a light snore showing that she was still asleep. In the past, the mere thought of sharing anything with the yellow farm filly would've disgusted her, but now, Diamond felt an unbelievable warmth as she stared at her bedmate.

I still can't believe she would do all this for somepony like me, she thought, curling up against her. After everything I did to her, I'm surprised she didn't try to help me kill myself.

Deciding to deviate away from the path her thoughts were starting to drift to, Diamond Tiara closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment, secretly wishing for it to never end. Unfortunately, that was a wish that couldn't be granted.

"Applebloom," Applejack said, letting herself in the room. "C'mon sugar cube, time ta' get up."

With a groan, Applebloom's eyes fluttered open, giving her sister an irritated glare.

"Now don't be given' me none o' that," Applejack said firmly. "Ya got school ta get to."

With a sigh, Applebloom rolled out of bed and stretched, letting out a few pops as her joints loosened up.

"Ah know, ah know," she yawned as she walked to towards her dresser.

Though a little disappointed that her friend had to go, Diamond couldn't help but snicker a little to herself as she listened to the little back-and-forth between one of her saviors and Applejack. Applebloom noticed, but didn't say anything as she pulled a fresh mane ribbon out of her dresser. Glad that her former tormentor was feeling better, Applebloom stepped out of the room.

"How's she doin'?" Applejack whispered after she closed the door. "Sounded like somepony was murderin' that poor thing last night."

"Ah'm not sure," Applebloom responded, frowning.

With a shiver, Applebloom told her big sister about Diamond Tiara's dream.

"Ah was able to calm her down, but ah don't really know what ta do fer her."

Applejack smiled down at her sister.

"Ah think what 'cha doing is just fine."

Applebloom blushed.

"Ah-Ah guess," she said, scratching the back of her head.

Applejack chuckled a little.

She still couldn't believe yesterday really happened. It was late in the afternoon when Applebloom came home with a rather hollow-looking Diamond Tiara not too far behind. While Granny Smith tried to get some food into Diamond, Applebloom told her about what happened. Applejack was floored! Sure, she knew about the accident and what happened to Filthy Rich, but she had no idea that Diamond was in such a dark place. As far as she knew, she was probably taken in by some relatives or something to that effect or at least had somepony to help her get through this hard time. A minute after Applebloom finished talking, Applejack dashed into the kitchen and caught Diamond in a near bone-crushing hug that would've made Pinkie Pie wince. After Big Mac managed to pry her off of her, Applejack told Diamond that she was going to be living at Sweet Apple Acres. Everypony expected the defiant filly to make a fuss, but she instead just nodded and went back to eating her small pile of apple fritters. In some ways, Diamond's lack of resistance was even more disturbing to her than the knowledge of what the filly had attempted earlier that day. When it was time to turn in for the night, it was Applebloom who gave up her bed to Diamond for the night in exchange for one of the somewhat plain looking guest rooms. Considering the circumstances, none of the Apples argued. Although, she did almost have a heart-attack when Diamond screamed last night.

"No point 'n being modest sugar cube," Applejack smirked. "I saw what 'cha did last night. Ya did more for that filly than you know."

Applebloom nodded, but she wasn't completely sure. A small part of her felt she could do more. But what?

Ah'll talk to Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell. See if they've got any ideas.

With that, she polished off her breakfast and hurried off to school.



***


After Applebloom left for breakfast, Diamond Tiara laid on her back staring blankly at the faded pink ceiling.

What do I do know?

She wasn't particularly hungry and the Apples probably didn't think it was a good idea for her to go to school for a little while. Chances were, Applebloom had a note on her explaining the situation to Mrs. Cheerily. With a groan, she sat up and looked around. In the past, she would've taken advantage of an arrangement like this to snoop around Applebloom's room in order to find something to blackmail her with. But now, all motivation to do anything aside from breathing was gone. Even in such a bright and warm environment, she felt like she was sitting in a dark, black, void.

With a sigh, she rose to her hooves and hopped off of the bed.

Maybe a walk will help me think strait.

When she opened the door an elderly light-green mare appeared on the other side.

Diamond let out a loud yelp as she jumped back.

Granny Smith let out a light chuckle.

"Well, good ta' see yer up," she smiled.

As soon as her heart stopped trying to burst out of her chest, Diamond gave the ancient mare a nervous nod.

Granny cackled.

"Think'n o' get'n a little fresh air?"

Diamond raised a brow.

How did she know?

"Y-Yeah," she said, barely above a whisper.

"Mind if I join ya?"

Diamond was about t object, but decided against it. While Applebloom had managed to stabilize her, that didn't change the fact that she was still in a pretty fragile state. The fact that Diamond had no idea what she was going to do if she was alone for too long terrified her. Besides, it might help her work though this if she had somepony to talk to.

"Sure."



***



All of the clouds from the previous day were gone, letting Celestia's sun shine in all its glory across the Apple Family's namesake orchards. The smell of the red and green fruit surrounding Granny Smith and Diamond Tiara made the filly smile. It also reminded her that she hadn't had breakfast yet. Diamond blushed as her stomach let out a low growl. Granny Smith just chuckled a little.

"With a belly like that, yer gonna gobble up the whole farm," Granny Smith smiled.

"N-No I'm not," Diamond whined, looking away to hide her burning face. "I just missed breakfast is all."

Granny Smith nodded.

"Ah, figured ya'd do that," she said, smile fading. "Loss has a way o' makin' food taste like ash."

Diamond nodded.

"Lucky fer you, Ah've been around long enough ta' know how to treat that."

"Oh yeah?" Diamond asked skeptically. "And what's that?"

Granny Smith smiled warmly and as if on cue, the two of them walked into an open clearing. Set up in the middle was a wooden table with a massive picnic basket sitting on top.

"The first step hon, is good food and good company."

Ametrine

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Ametrine


"Wow," Scootaloo said, slack-jawed after hearing Applebloom's retelling of last night's events. "I knew Diamond had problems, but man."

Sweetie Belle shivered.

"If I was having those kind of dreams every night, I'd probably throw myself off of a cliff too," Sweetie said sadly.

The three of them sat somberly under the shade of one of the playground's trees. It was a few minutes after Ms. Cheerily had let the foals under her care out for recess. It was a beautiful day that normally gave the CMC plenty of encouragement to do something that made most of the residents of Ponyville walk on eggshells. However, the trio had much more important matters to attend to.

"So, what do ya think we should do?" Applebloom asked.

"Aside from keeping an eye on her, I can't think of anything," Scootaloo sighed, scratching her head.

"I don't think this is something that can be taken care of overnight," Sweetie added.

"Ah know that much," Applebloom groaned, resting her head on the grass. "But Ah can't just leave her like this."

The three fillies sat there in silence, carefully thinking about what they should do next. After a few minutes, Applebloom broke the silence with a dejected sigh.

"For now, Ah guess all we can do is help her get back on her hooves and make sure she doesn't hurt herself."

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo nodded in agreement.

"And if that don't work," She smirked, "We'll sick Pinkie Pie on her."

At that moment, the bell signaling the end of recess rang, summoning the foals back into their lessons. As the three fillies returned to the classroom, a grey earth pony stallion stepped out of the shadows. He watched the foals with a cold smile, like a cat closing in on a cornered mouse. A small rustling from inside one of his saddlebags drew his attention away form the school grounds. A soft chuckle escaped his muzzle.

You're restless. Don't worry my friend. A royal feast awaits you.



***



Diamond Tiara laughed as Granny Smith told her about some of the crazy things that happened on the farm recently, most notably of how Spike tried to "help" Applejack after she saved him from a pack of Timber Wolves. The two of them spent the whole morning talking and enjoying some of Granny Smith's famous baked goods topped with freshly squeezed apple juice. Even though it wasn't anything special, talking with the elderly mare under the warm summer sun made her feel the best she had in days. She felt lighter, like a load of bricks was lifted off her back. Every so often, Applejack or Big Mac would take a break from applebucking to join in on the conversation. All the while, a feeling began to build up within her. One that was both alien and familier at the same time.

What is this? she thought, placing a hoof over her heart

"You okay little one?" Granny asked, pulling Diamond out of her revelry.

"Ah! Y-Yes Mrs. Smith," she squeaked, taking a sip of apple juice.

Granny Smith chuckled.

"No need ta' be so formal dearie. Jus' Granny's fine."

"O-Okey....."

Granny looked her over.

"If yah have anything you want to get off yer chest, everypony here is willing to listen."

Diamond thought for a minute, then with a sigh, she faced the elderly pony and started talking. She told her about the dreams she'd been having for the past few days. Then she talked about her thoughts leading up to her suicide attempt the day before, shocking herself by how ludicrous said thoughts were now that she was in a more stable mindset. As she talked, she could feel more and more of her pain start to fade away,only to be replaced with that pleasant feeling from before. All the while, Granny Smith sat and listened, not once interrupting or judging her. Eventually, Diamond came to the topic that filled her with something worse than the pain of loss; the agony of regret.

"I hate you. That was the last thing I said to him," Diamond said, eyes starting to tear-up. "Why did I have to say that? Why did we have to have a fight that day? Why........?"

Finally, Granny Smith spoke.

"It's not yer fault young'un. Anger makes us say things we don't mean."

"But," Diamond whimpered. "Daddy left thinking I hated him!"

At that, Granny Smith rose from her seat and hobbled over to the empty seat next to Diamond. With a warm smile, the elderly mare embraced the fragile filly.

"If time's ever taught me anythin'," she cooed. "It's that nopony really hates their kin. We may fight, swear, and even curse each other when our kettles start a boilin', but in the end we still love them."

She raised Diamond's face towards her own.

"And if I know yer pa like I think I do," she continued. "I know he loved ya with all his heart, all the way to the end."

With that, the two sat in silence, wrapped in the warmth of there embrace and warm summer sun.

Charoite

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Charoite



"A sleep over?" Diamond asked, watching Applebloom pack two sets of saddlebags.

"Eeyup," Applebloom responded happily, packing her toothbrush. "Every weekend Rarity let's the three o' us spend the night together."

"And you want me to come too?" Diamond asked, genuinely shocked.

"Eeyup!"

Diamond didn't know how to react to this. The fact that she was now living with Applebloom was still difficult for her to wrap her head around, but to be included in her group activities was even more bizarre.

"You're not just doing this because of last night, are you?" she asked, hollowly.

Applebloom paused.

"Well, Ah will admit, that is part o' it," she said, a twinge of shame in her tone. "But Ah also think spendin' some time with other ponies il' do ya some good."

"Even if it's the ones I treated like dirt for so many years?" she snapped, self-loathing dripping from her words.

Applebloom's eyes narrowed.

"S-Sorry," Diamond sighed. "I-I'm still trying to make sense of all this."

Applebloom's features softened and she gives Diamond's cheek a nuzzle.

"Ah understand. An' that's why Ah think this is such a good idea. Ya need this Diamond."

After a tense moment, she lets out a defeated sigh and nods.

"Alright, I'll give it a shot."

"Great!" Applebloom cheers. "Now what kind of sleeping bag do ya use?"

"Huh? Sleeping bag? What's that?"

Applebloom raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"



***



As the two fillies passed through town to get to Carousel Boutique Diamond couldn't help but feel nervous. Granted, this was the first time she spent the night someplace other than Silver Spoon's house or her more recent accommodations, but that wasn't the biggest reason. It was the dark. During the day, Ponyville was the very definition of peace. Even with the occasional monster attack or near apocalyptic event, the town's tall buildings and warm colors always made you feel secure(while the element bearers made the doomsday situations a little less concerning). But at night, those very same buildings created pony-eating shadows that made one all but forget the warmth of the day.

Every so often, Diamond would swear she saw something pony-shaped moving in the dark in the corner of her eye. Each time gave her flashbacks of her nightmares. If it wasn't for Applebloom trotting next to her, she definitely would've had a panic attack. The other reason was that they were going to be spending the night at a dress shop. As it was, Diamond didn't trust herself around any kind blade or sharp implement, so the idea of spending a long period of time in a building full of scissors, exacto-knives, and various other cutting tools didn't sit all to well with her.

It's going to be okay, she thought, trembling. Applebloom and her friends will be there to keep an eye on me. There is nothing to be worried about. Nothing.....

She flinched when she felt a warm weight drape across her back. It was then that she noticed Applebloom's foreleg draped across her shoulders. A pang of guilt washed over her at the look of concern in the light yellow filly's eyes.

"Are ya okay," she asked.

"Ye-Yeah," Diamond responded, a slight chill running down her spine. "I'm just a little jumpy I guess. So what do you do at these things?"

"All kinds o' things," Applebloom smiled. "boardgames, truth or dare, sometimes Sweetie Belle talks us intah havin' makeovers, but those don't usually go so well."

"Why's that?" Diamond asked, happy to get her mind off of her paranoia.

"Ya remember the way we looked durin' the talent show a while back?"

"Yeah?"

"That was gala worthy compared ta' the last makeover we had."

"Yikes ," she cringed. "And I thought my nightmares were scary."

They both laughed at that.

At that moment, they turned a corner and Rarity's shop came into view.

Oh thank Celestia, Diamond thought with a relieved sigh.

As they closed in on the boutique, Diamond continued to see strange things in the corner of her eye. She moved a little closer to Applebloom, drawing on her new friend's presence for comfort. She was so scared that when they finally made it to Carousel Boutique, she jumped ten feet into the air when the front door opened.

"Applebloom!" Sweetie Belle cheered, trotting out to great her friend. "You made it!"

"Yeah, sorry it took us so long ta' get over here," Applebloom said, sheepishly.

"No kidding," said a slightly peeved voice.

On cue, Scootaloo strolled out of the boutique alongside Sweetie Belle.

"You took so long we thought you weren't gonna show."

"Sorry," Applebloom repeated.

"Eh, its okay," Scootaloo shrugged. " At least you made it."

It was then they noticed Diamond Tiara cowering in a fetal position behind Applebloom.

"Is she okay?" Sweetie asked, concerned.

"Uh, yeah," Applebloom responded uncertainly. "Ah think she jus' got spooked is all."

She turned towards the shaking filly.

"Hey Diamond," she said softly. "Can ya hear me?"

At the sound of her voice, Diamond snapped out of her panicked state. With unsteady hooves, she stood back up and faced the remaining members of the CMC.

"Are you going to be okay?" Sweetie asked.

"Y-Yeah," Diamond responded, blushing a little. "Sorry about that, I haven't been myself lately."

"Can't really blame ya," Scootaloo muttered under her breath.

"We're glad you came too," Sweetie Belle smiled, hugging her.

Diamond didn't know how to react to the sudden show of affection. She flinched for a second, but after a moment, reciprocated. A strange mix of joy and guilt washed over her as she let Sweetie's warmth steady her nerves. She was happy that other ponies aside from the Apple Family honestly cared about her, but she felt horrible that said ponies were the targets of her cruelty.

Why the hell was I so mean to them? They're such great ponies!

After a long moment, Sweetie pulled herself out of they're embrace.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"Yeah," Diamond answered, forcing back a tear. "Thanks Sweetie Belle."

She smiled.

"By the way," Scootaloo, said, stepping up to Applebloom. "What took you guys so long to get here?"

Applebloom and Diamond blushed, their former aggressor becoming very interested in the ground.

"Well, ya see," Applebloom said, scratching the back of her head. "On the way over here we had ta' stop by a few shops to get Diamond a sleepin' bag, cuz she never had one before now."

The two fillies looked at Applebloom for a minute, then looked at Diamond, than back at Applebloom, a deadpan expression on their faces.

"Really?" they said in unison.

"Hey!" Diamond cried. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Well," Scootaloo started. "You've gone camping before, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Then how could you not know what a sleeping bag is?"

"I guess I never needed one," Diamond said, nervously rubbing her left foreleg with her right. "When Daddy and I went camping we would always sleep in a cabin or a lodge."

"Oh," Scootaloo said, sheepishly. "I guess that makes sense."

The four fillies stood in awkward silence for a minute before Sweetie broke it with a somewhat forced, "Well now that everypony's here, let's get this party started!"

Applebloom and Scootaloo gave an cheer of agreement. Then, the three of them stood together and shouted, "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SLEEP OVER AT RARETY'S, YAY!"

"Yay....."

What in the name of Celestia did I get myself into?



***



The night went better then she thought it would. After stomping the CMC at Mareoploly, Diamond managed to weasel out Sweetie Belle's crush on Button Mash and Scootaloo's feelings for Rumble in a game of Truth-or-Dare. All it cost her was revealing she slept with a teddybear back when she still lived in her family's mansion and use to have a crush on Pipsqueak. Of course, most of the fun came from the dares. In the span of two hours, Applebloom had to make a daisy sandwich blind-folded, Sweetie Belle did a hoof-stand for twenty seconds, Scootaloo wore a one of Sweetie's dresses for seven minutes, and Diamond Tiara did the marekaraina. Next they played some Twister, getting turned around and bent in ways they didn't know was possible. Because the game was set for all three tribes, Applebloom and Diamond were granted several respins due to a lack of wings or horns, giving the two earth ponies a distinct advantage. After a valiant struggle, Diamond just wasn't flexible enough to best her friends. Then came something Diamond was hoping would be excluded from that evenings list of events; makeovers.

"Oh, hay no," Diamond grimaced, covering the top of her head with her hooves. "If any of you go near my mane they'll regret it!"

"Ah, c'mon Diamond," Sweetie said, holding a brush and comb in her magic. "I just want to rearrange your bangs a little."

"No way."

The little unicorn let out a disappointed groan.

"Scootaloo?"

The orange pegasus cringed.

"Uh, sorry Sweetie. I'm not really into getting all gussied up. Especially after you forced me into that dress."

"Hey," she whined. "You looked good in that."

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled.

"Bloom?"

Applebloom thought for a moment than said, "What the hay? Sure!"

Sweetie Belle let out an excited squee as she trotted over to her friend, comb and brush at the ready.

Celestia have mercy on her soul, Diamond thought, a slight grin crossing her muzzle.

Scootaloo walked over and planted herself next to the pink filly.

"Looks like Applebloom took a bullet for us," Scootaloo said, watching Sweetie spike up Applebloom's mane in weird angles.

"Yeah," Diamond chuckled.

Scootaloo's expression became a little more serious as she asked, "So, how are ya holding up?"

Diamond looked at the ground, her smile shrinking.

"Okay I guess. I mean, I haven't had any 'episodes' after the Apples took me in, but I'm still a little scared to go to sleep."

"The nightmares, right?"

Diamond nodded.

"It feels kinda weird, you know?" Diamond continued."Me being here, talking to the three of you like this. Heck, knowing I'm still breathing right now is a bit of a shock for me."

Scootaloo draped a foreleg over Diamond's shoulders, giving her a friendly crooked smile.

"And that's just the way we like ya!"

Diamond locked eyes with Scootaloo, a look of shock on her face.

"And everything else, lets just take care of it a little bit at a time. After a while, everything will work out."

It was one thing to know somepony was glad you were alive, but to actually hear it was something all together different. It was more real and definite as apposed to the theoretical workings of thought. It meant even more that said ponies were willing to help her get through it all in spite of their history. All this warmth she felt inside was too much for her to take all at once, making her thoughts all jumbled.

After a moment of failed attempts at finding her voice, she responded with a fragile "Thanks."

Scootaloo just smiled and said, "No prob."



***



Diamond laid in her pink plush sleeping bag, eyes locked on the ceiling. It had been an hour since she and Scootaloo helped Applebloom return her mane to its natural shape and went to bed. Even though she was tired, her mind was spinning too much to let her sleep. All the memories of how she tortured the CMC, the events leading up to her suicide attempt, how Applebloom had stayed with her after her nightmare, Granny Smith's picnic, and now this sleep over. No matter how many times she thought about it all, it never made any sense to her how they all could be so nice to her after everything she did. What did they all gain out of it? Money? No, the Apples and Rarity both made more then enough to make a living and don't show any of the traits of somepony willing to use dirty tactics to better themselves. Social standing? No, that's definitely not it.

Diamond let out a groan before rolling to her side. If she could just get some sleep.

"Psst! Diamond," came Sweetie's voice from a nearby sleeping bag. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "Couldn't sleep."

"Worried about your nightmare?"

"Among other things. Hey Sweetie Belle, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Why did you guys stop me? How did you all know I was going to kill myself?"

Silence, then Sweetie let out a sigh before answering.

"When you gave us your tiara, we knew something bad was gonna happen, so we fallowed you. At first, we didn't know what to do when you got to Ghastly Gorge, but when you jumped we knew we had to stop you."

"Why? Because you were feeling sorry for me?"

"No!" Sweetie squeaked. "It's because...it wasn't what your dad or Silver Spoon would've wanted."

Rage flashed into Diamond.

"What do you know?" she snapped, struggling to keep herself from screaming. "You don't know a thing about what I'm going through, what I've been going through. So what right do you have to tell me what my friend and father would want for me?"

A moment of silence.

"Well?"

At that, Sweetie Belle pulled herself out of her sleeping bag. With a stern glare, the unicorn filly walked up to Diamond and sat down next to her.

"Your right,"she said, a slight twinge of venom in her tone. "I have no idea what your going through, but at least one pony in this room does."

Her glare turned sad as she snuck a glance at Applebloom.

"And she's willing to do anything to help you."

Diamonds fury extinguished. In its place sat a lead weight of guilt.

"I'm sorry."

Sweetie's features softened and she smiled.

"It's okay. Like you said, I don't know what your going through, but I still want to help you get through this. Even if it's just a little."

"Thanks."

"No problem," she squeaked.

After finally feeling at ease, Diamond's eyelids started to get heavy.

"Sweetie Belle?" she yawned.

"Yeah?"

"Do me a favore. If I try to do something stupid like that again, do whatever you can to stop me."

Sweetie smiled.

"Deal."

Dioptase

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Dioptase



A warm breeze ruffled Diamond Tiara's mane as she stared in aw at the view before her. She was sitting on a tall grassy hill overlooking a massive orchard, hundreds of times bigger than Sweet Apple Acres stretching far beyond the horizon. An equally gargantuan castle towered at its center, the late afternoon sun eclipsed by its highest tower. All of it was gorgeous, but what made it truly spectacular was that everything was colored differently. All of the trees were light yellow with red leaves that all but hid what was probably the ripest looking apples she'd ever seen. The sky was a deep shade of violet patched with orange clouds of various shapes and sizes. The castle was wrapped in a pink, white, and purple spiral like it was molded from the worlds biggest candy cane. It was all so beautiful, Diamond felt tears of joy start to build at the corners of her eyes. Defiantly, she rubbed her tears away and ran towards the castle. She'd cried enough, now was the time to smile, to laugh, to finally feel alive.

As she ran, the trees filled her lungs with the scent of wild flowers and fresh fruit. Every so often, she'd see small critters darting in and out of site among the trees, but they barely registered in the orphaned filly's radar. All of her attention centered upon the tricolored castle towering before her. As she zeroed in on her target she could feel her excitement building by equal measure. She could feel it in her bones, the castle was a sanctuary. The very land she galloped through was a paradise that no shadow could set hoof in no matter how hard it tried. With a smile she hadn't used in what felt like years, she stopped in front of the castle's massive double-doors and standing on her hind legs, pushed them open.

Her eyes widened in astonishment at the sheer beauty of the castles interior. The castle's main throne room was a dazzling structure of gems and precious metals. The room itself seemed to create its own light, which turned into a spectrum of colors as it passed through all of the various crystal structures. At the farthest point across from her stood the throne, a seat made of the purist white diamond decorated with vines of gold and silver, her cutie mark branded into its head. The CMC stood by it, dressed in chain-mail dresses, the brightest smiles on their muzzles.

The sight was a lot to take in, but that gave Diamond just the excuse she needed to savor the moment. She could feel the light coursing through her, purging all the pain and grief from her. It was when this feeling was at its zenith, that she noticed her three friends motioning for her to take the throne. Slowly, she walked towards the throne, all the while, a vale of light draped itself across her back, gradually taking solid form. As it did, the warmth in both her heart and body continued to grow, burning away the last traces of her grief. By the time she made it to the throne, the light had finished its transformation, becoming a golden dress that shined with just as much brilliance as Celestia's sun. Feeling as light as air, a content Diamond Tiara took her seat, turning towards the Cutie Mark Crusaders, a soft smile on her muzzle. The three smiled back, bowed, and said, "Welcome home Diamond."

She laughed.

"Thanks. Its good to have one."



***



Diamond slowly opened her eyes, a warmth similar to what she felt just moments before from her dream wrapped around her. At first she thought it was from her plush sleeping bag, but when she raised her head she saw the truth. Curled up around her where the snoring forms of the CMC. Sweetie Belle was tucked in next to her in a somewhat dignified poise, looking as if she was trying to get herself as close to her new friend as possible without disturbing the sleeping bag. Scootaloo, on the other hoof, was sprawled out on her back snoring like a lawn mower, her left hind leg twitching every so often. Apple Bloom was curled up like a cat to the left of Diamond's head, a peaceful smile gracing her muzzle. Diamond chucked to herself as she carefully slid herself out of her sleeping bag.

Never a dull moment, she thought, quietly looking for some blankets for the three fillies.

It was still pretty early, with the first rays of dawn barely turning the black sky dark violet providing almost no light to assist Diamond in her quest. After roughly five minutes of cursing her lack of a horn, she finally found the stares leading to the second floor. Carefully, she creeped up the stares, nearly giving herself a heart attack when she got to the top and tried to take a step onto a non-existant step. By this point, the sun had already risen to a point that Diamond had enough light to get a rough idea of her surroundings. Luckily, the home portion of Carousel Boutique was smaller and simpler than the business focused first floor. In front of her was a platform leading to three closed doors. Diamond could tell that one of them was Rarity's room, most likely the one decorated with three diamonds arranged in a triangle on the door. One of the remaining was probably a broom closet or bathroom while the other was a guest room that had been converted into Sweetie Belle's bedroom. Ignoring the diamond door, she walked up to one of the unmarked doors. As luck would have it, she was greeted not by brooms or a toilet, but a bedroom not too different from Apple Bloom's. Except for the rooms hight and violet-blue color scheme, it was an exact replica of her farm filly roommate. Diamond would've continued to gawk, but she had more important things to tend to. Quickly, she trotted over to Sweetie Belle's bed and yanked the blanket off with her teeth. After it draped over her like a circus tent, she decided it would be safer fold it before taking it down the stares. A few seconds later she had it the way she needed it and plopped it on her back with a satisfied sigh. As she walked towards the door, a faint flash caught her eye. Curious, she turned towards its source and saw a small dresser. Sitting on top of it was a small metallic looking band glinting in the dim light. As if drawn to it, Diamond walked towards the dresser. Once she was close enough to see it clearly, a bitter smile crossed her lips. Sitting on top of the dresser was a single diamond studded tiara, her tiara.

In all honesty, she never asked the CMC what they did with it after her failed suicide attempt. Although, she supposed almost dying did tend to make one forget tiny details like that. A small part of her was happy that they didn't sell it or through it out, but the rest of her couldn't help but feel disgust. With the very memory of that accessory came the memories of all her regrets.

"You know," said a familiar squeaky voice. "You can have it back if you want."

Diamond jumped and spun around.

Standing in the doorway was a very groggy Sweetie Belle.

"Do you normally sneak up on other ponies or am I just a special case?" Diamond gasped, hoof over her pounding heart.

"Only when they sneak into my room," she yawned. "And by the way, horns are not as great as you think they are."

"Oh......you heard all that?" Diamond blushed.

Sweetie Belle nodded.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

Sweetie Belle just yawned and looked at the tiara.

"It's alright."

For a moment, the two stood in awkward silence. Then, Sweetie broke it, by clearing her throat.

"Well?" Sweetie Belle asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well what?"

"Arn't you going to take it?"

Diamond glanced at the tiara and frowned.

"Not yet."

"Huh?" Sweetie Belle gasped, eyes wide.

"The filly that tiara belonged to died the second I chose to go to Ghastly Gorge. For me to feel that I have any right to put it on, I'm going to have to get over this whole thing first. Otherwise, how can I face Daddy and Silvy someday?"

As she said that, a sad smile crossed her face and for the marshmallow colored unicorn filly, it was as if she was looking at Diamond Tiara for the first time. At that moment, with the sun rise visible behind her, Diamond had been reborn.

"With a little bit of help of course," she added sheepishly, slightly breaking the moment of metamorphosis.

Sweetie chuckled and said, "Definitely."

And with that, the two made their way back down the stares, blanket in tow.