Enjoy the near mute adventures of Mr Cee and his Little Sister, Theresa, a young man and his niece who went to a game con as a Big Daddy and a Little Sister, met a merchant and bought some shit. What could possibly go right? Wait, nothing goes right.
[Edit: cancelled and soon to be re-written.]
"Look daddy, are those?"
"*groans*"
"Yay, Ponies! Come on Mr Cee, lets go catch one!"
"Ahhh, monster!" "Run away!" "Random screams of panic!"
"Hmhm, yay, talking ponies! But they need to learn manners, its not nice calling someone a mon-"
"*Grrrrrr.*"
"Sorry daddy, I didn't mean to say that."
"*Softer groan.*"
"Hmhm, yeah, but on a funnier note, who screams 'random screams of panic'?"
"*ha haha, groans softly.*"
"Lets just hope they try a nicer approach this time. Oh, more ponies!"
Zap.
"*Rrrrrrroar of outrage.*"
"Hey! Leave him alo- whoa!"
"Got her."
"Let me go. Mr. Cee, Help!"
"*Roar that stuns everypony in a five mile radius.*"
Note, the above has nothing to do with the story and subject to change.
Plans, even the best laid ones can fail and after nearly a thousand years of planning, I found that out in five minutes... go figure. Anyway, my name is Charlie, but don't tell the ponies that, I prefer Mister Cee. I planned to get my niece Theresa home to her family and now, it's all improv from here. That and capitalism, I'm going to break rules and earn money in the dangerous high stakes world of business.
Author's note, when I first started this, I only had a vague idea of how it was going to happen because I was trying, and failing, to write a Displaced Fallout crossover without it coming across as... well, I've seen a few, and they came across as perfect hero stories, I wanted a soulful tale of battling the world to save the world. This, this was originally two crappy stress relief chapters that somehow didn't get hated into the dirt, so thanks to the people who read the original two chapters without telling me how bad I was, and still am.
Thanks to bezzalair for letting me use his/her work as cover art, it may not have Theresa's blonde hair or Mister Cee's red armour and blue dive suit, but when I saw this, I just had to ask him/her if I could use it. Hope you check him/her out! He/she has a few other Bioshock artworks. This one is of Delta playing with Eleanor and is titled Happy Days. I hope you tell him/her thanks for me!
Game Con with family, Don't trust the merchant who's good with kids. Revised.
The hotel room was rather nice, two beds (singles), bathroom and a small kitchen. Looking around, I put the suitcases down by the door and tip the bellhop a ten.
"This is gonna be great, there's gonna be new releases, take pictures, have our pictures taken, buy some toys." My niece, Theresa, said. Walking ahead of me, she immediately jumped onto the bed and started bouncing, "When do we go to the game-con, Charlie?"
Smiling, I replied, "Soon, my saint, soon. We still have a half hour till we need to leave." Dragging the cart with our costumes into the room after shutting the door, I rolled it over to the center of the room before I started dragging the pieces off and placing them by the bathroom door.
Drill, helmet, boots, dive suit, plasmid gloves. Okay, everything seems to be here. I thought while I was arranging the foam pieces, checking over them while I was at it. It took a month to plan, and almost five months to build (not to mention nearly five hundred dollars all together to build and get us here), but the finished product speaks for itself.
Weighing in at nearly fifty pounds and adding an extra fourteen inches to my height, my six foot tall frame giving me a total of seven feet, two inches tall at the helmet. The hardest part was recreating the grapple drill and installing the drill that makes it spin.
"Hey, you might as well get dressed, you okay to put your make-up on by yourself?" I asked.
"I think I can handle pale face-paint, Charlie, but you should get started on your own costume soon, don't wanna be late." She replied as she walked into the bathroom. Ten minutes later, she came out and I went in. Fifteen minutes later, I walked out as she was putting on her polarized sunglasses. Except for the glasses over her blue eyes (and lack of her hypo needle), she was the perfect cosplayer for a Little Sister with blonde hair, her pre-apocalyptic Little Sister outfit included a clean dress and flats.
Myself however, was going to be wearing a Big Daddy suit, a customized Alpha to be exact, minus the drill, boots and helmet so I could drive. My costume armour was painted a deep, blood red while the dive suit itself was a gentle undersea blue. Walking to the door in my grey Jordans, I put the rest on the trolley before we went to my truck (also red, because awesome colour) and I drove us to the game-con.
---~~~---Ten minutes later---~~~---
Pulling my dive suit's boot over my shoe and grabbing my helmet, I walked towards the doors with Theresa in tow. The smile on her face was ear to ear, and her enthusiasm far out-paced mine.
"Come on, put on your helmet and let's go~" She whined in a soft, but commanding tone. Chuckling, I put the helmet on and asked her what 'the rules' are today.
"Don't separate from your Big Daddy, that's rule number one. Two, don't approach strangers without your Big Daddy, ever. Three, if someone wants a photo, that's fine, but watch for pickpockets." She replied. Nodding my head (as well as most of my upper body), we entered the game con.
We walked around and looked at all the awesome stuff the con had to offer; other cosplayers and their awesome costumes, demos of the latest game (I made it to round fifteen with Theresa on CoD: BO III zombie mode, to the disbelief of the crowd we gathered, we only stopped because of people complaining about her), and we had about a dozen people take pictures with us.
After a while, we were wandering around the stalls where people came to sell their wares. Nothing caught my eye, but Theresa immediately saw something that did.
The salesman was cosplaying as The Merchant from Resident Evil: Four, I recognized him because of my friends who like a little fear mixed in with their shooters. His stall had dozens of pieces from gaming's greatest heroes and villains, including a few things from some movies and comic books.
I saw several things which immediately got my saliva glands working overtime. A power suit from Elysium, a blaster from Star Wars next to the sackcloth mask from Payday 2 (great game, sackcloth is the best hostage taking mask), a Duvolle assault rifle from Dust 514 side by side of an assault rifle from Halo and other worthy firearms and energy weapons.
Looking us over, I watch through the yellow tinted plastic porthole as his eyes lit up with friendly joy. "Ah, a Little Sister and her Big Daddy have come to buy some of my wares, but... Something's missing, it's not you-" He said, pointing at Theresa, making her smile. "-or at least, I don't think so... I think you two are fully equipped to take on Rapture, but why can't I dispel this feeling I'm missing something?"
At this point, Theresa was giggling like crazy, personally, this guy gave me an uneasy feeling but he seemed cool. Decent with kids and he wasn't being a jerk about her costume (a few people bitched at me about our gaming session, but a low groan and a demo of my drill made them back off) being from such a violent game.
"My hypo needle, or more precisely, my lack of one. Do you know where we can find one?" She asked with her soft voice. Looking over us for a moment, he smiled again as he reached under his stall and placed a hypo needle on the table. Talk about dumb luck, I thought. Giving a short groan to stay in character, Theresa smiled and asked if he had some stuff for me.
Pulling a cardboard box from around the back, he cleared a little area on his table before placing the box on said table. Opening it, I looked through the contents and marveled at how extensive his collection of Plasmids and Tonics are.
I pulled out armoured shell, electric flesh, booze hound, Eve link, drill lurker, drill vampire, elemental sponge, elemental storm, fountain of youth, Eve saver, metabolic Eve, medical expert, sports boast and brain boost, plenty of pretty colours to brighten up my nearly empty apartment. After a moment, I decided to get some of the Plasmids as well, it just wouldn't look right without them so I chose hypnotize, telekinesis, incinerate, winter blast, insect swarm, whirlwind trap, sonic boom and electro bolt.
"How much for all of this?" Theresa asked, I kinda didn't realized how many I had grabbed, until I had taken a step back, at least I'm finally decorating the place, but I don't want it to come across as a kaleidoscope's bottled vomit. Eh, I'll figure it out later. Counting them, the merchant looked up and smiled.
"Five for each Plasmid and Tonic, and fifteen for the needle so... one twenty-five." He replied, I looked over the assorted Tonics and Plasmids and did some math. Ramen, each and every day will be ramen for lunch and dinner, good thing I don't eat breakfast.
Nodding my head, I pulled my wallet out of a hidden pouch on my armour when he continued. "Of course, I also have one last thing that might catch your attention." He said, once more going to the back of his stall and digging around. Grabbing something, he walked back with a another drill and something hidden behind his back. "If you buy this, I'll throw in this Mr. B doll." He said, pulling the mentioned doll out and handing it to Theresa.
"Man, I got a drill, what's another one good for?" I asked, breaking character to point out my ownership of a drill.
"Ah, but that is a grapple drill, removed from the original game due to its tendency to break and glitch. This is the fully upgraded drill from Bioshock 2, and only twenty-five dollars more. Besides, you won't get the doll if you don't buy it." He said, thinking it over, I realized something.
"How did you know this was the grapple drill? It's only slightly different from the normal drill and no-one else has pointed it out yet." I asked. Raising an eyebrow, he shook his head and smiled before answering.
"Young man, when you've been doing this as long as I have, you acquire an eye for details. Now, all together you owe me one fifty, that's if you decide to get the drill, which is the only way I'll part with the doll. Now young man, do I have to direct your attention to your friend, or will you do this the easy way." Huh, looking down at Theresa, I notice her giving me the puppy dog face while holding her new doll. Slight watering eyes, quivering lip, and a pleading look sketched on her face.
Handing over three fifty-dollar bills, I ask him for a bag to carry our new goods. Putting the Tonics and Plasmids in with the Mr. B doll on top, I handed Theresa the bag and grabbed the new drill. Thankfully for me, I didn't have a power tool built in to make it spin.
As we were walking away, the merchant called out, "Do your job daddy, I would hate it if you were to go comatose, or worse." Turning back to him, I give him an unseen, questioning glare before I heard something, something I've only ever heard once before. Theresa screaming in pure fear.
Turning back to her, I watched in horror as the very earth opened beneath her and reveal a empty, but strangely colourful, void. Reaching down, she grabbed my left drill, her needle laying on top of her bag, forgotten in her haste to grab my not-a-hand. After a moment, we were both dragged into the expanse to our horror.
Groaning for help; manners are important, especially when dealing with a big daddy. Reworked.
Stomping through the streets, the occasional cobblestone cracked under my suit's immense weight, I ignored the lack of anyone who would normally be out and about on a sunday. My destination clear, Golden Oaks library near the center of Ponyville. My enhanced hearing can barely make out the hushed whispers, my single porthole giving me a clear view of my targets as they walk forward to block my path.
The six ponies who have done nothing but try to take Theresa away from me are lined up and most of them are in aggressive stances. Twilight Sparkle, her friends by her side, looked nervous.
"Stop! What have you done to Scootaloo?" She yelled, I continued forward at glacier speeds. Fifty feet away, she yelled again. "What have you done to Scootaloo?" My programming is kicking in, yelling at me about how she is a threat and needs to be killed, I repress the desire to set her on fire and impale her on both of my drills as I continue on, thirty feet away. She started to get really scared. I stopped twenty-five feet away and just stood there. Rainbow Dash apparently had enough waiting and charges me. I stood there, waiting for the hit that never came thanks to Twilight's quick thinking.
"Lemme at him, I can take 'em." No, you can't. I just stood there, looking at them. She was willing to fight me, me! A Big Daddy, no, a Monster that has killed hundreds ever since it came here, the very same Beast who personally backhanded your Dyke Smurf pony ass into a tree at least fifty yards away. I had to speak, I hoped my groans would be animal enough that Fluttershy will be able to understand me. I gave a single groan and her face shifted to confusion, I continued on with a slightly longer groan and her face shifted once more, this time to one of compassion and caring.
Success!
"Why should we help you?" She asked, with not a drop of anger or fear in her voice, I gave her a quick explanation of what happened and her friends waited patiently, except for Rainbow Dash.
"What did the freak say, Fluttershy?" My porthole turned orange at her words before I calm down, anger management has never been my strong suit. All eyes are on me as I calm down, the six protectors of Equestria prepare for my attack, which never came.
"He needs to find his niece Theresa and Scootaloo, somepony took them." The looks on their faces switched from anger to more confusion at her words, the silence was deafening. I watch as they shared several looks before Twilight stared back at me, a question obviously on her mind.
---~~~---Theresa's PoV---~~~---
I screamed, the entirety of my existence having been smashed into my brain had ruthlessly left me able to do nothing else. The memories of everything I've ever seen, smelled, heard, tasted, felt, said and thought, my entire life had just been reintroduced to me. So I screamed. An interesting fact about being turned to stone, your mind retreats into itself, thus leaving you free to scream without pausing for breath. So I kept screaming.
"Theresa!" A familiar voice called, I turn to my left and ran, somehow crossing a distance that felt like miles in under a second while simultaneously plowing through some kind of resistance, I ran towards the comforting presence of my uncle and lept into his arms, tears freely falling as if I couldn't run out, I found out later that I couldn't, how I tried to cry myself out. "Theresa, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
I cried that day, the day I woke up in stone, I remembered everything I've done and saw over the last three months twice over. One set of memories was seen through the eyes of a monster that could see no evil, and the other a horror story filled with gore and disturbing acts performed by me and Charlie.
I cried that day, and cried almost non stop for the next ten years. He stayed with me, locked in the darkness as he went through the same thought process as I did. I just wanted to wake up in bed, to have never done the things I did, but I couldn't. I couldn't cry myself to sleep, such things like the blissful embrace of sleep eluded me.
I stopped crying a few months before he came, through when I usually stopped, I usually just start again immediately, that time felt different, it may have been my eighteenth birthday, I don't truly know. After ten years of waiting, talking, listening and my uncle promising things, the reason for our awakening from a nightmare of a existence introduced himself. He taught us a few things like how to decorate our new home. He talked to us and always had some little joke to cheer us up on our worse days. He told us that he would do anything in his power to help us.
So we believed him, it turned out that because of what we were, and still were, that we had the ability to go into each other's mind while we were stoned. Charlie laughed when he first said that. Even I smiled through I only did so because I hadn't heard my uncle laugh like that for over a decade.
We decided to build a little one room apartment, based off of my uncle's apartment back home. It was located, if such a word could be used in this context, in my uncle's dive suit's helmet, a single oval window right where his porthole was giving us our only view of a life we were denied. Anything we could want was a simple thought away. Anything but release.
I'll admit, those first couple of decades had more than one wish for death. More than a few bargains and deals for God or the devil. More than one simultaneous success and failure when I'd attempt to kill myself or at least enter the blissful, sleep like embrace of insanity. But I couldn't, there was literally no way to off yourself when you're in your own mind, even less so when your mind and someone else's is as bonded as ours was. As to the attempts to embrace insanity, well my uncle and Mister D kept me sane.
My uncle wouldn't allow himself to go insane or even allow the possibility, he fought to keep his mind so as to fight off my insanity itself. Strange that, my uncle and the god of chaos fighting insanity, you'd think there be battles of will and mental trench warfare.
There wasn't. He and Mister D kept me sane by keeping me company. We made a schedule, I'd learn about everything Charlie knew so that I would be ready for anything, we spent a hundred years just on the nearly seven years of WW2 and its build up, play a game of Fallout where everything was all too real, every now and then we would visit other statues that were either heroes or villains, or in the case of Victory, a legitimate stone Pinocchio that couldn't help but brag and brag. It was what she did, bragged about our monsters' sides being defeated, bragged about how pony might annihilates ape dexterity, even bragged about her dumb ass flag!
Sorry. Needless to say, she was also a sore loser and sucked at our musical competitions. She just didn't have that flow that Charlie had, or my stunning ability to fast rap. The second chance Charlie had, he smashed her bitch ass all over-
Oh, I'm sorry. Well, let's just stop talking about the past and talk about what happened in the past. It started like this...
Nine months before Mister Cee asked for help
Being a statue is, undoubtedly, the worst thing for a eight year old girl to be. But after a thousand years of it, you get used to it. Now and then Mister D comes over and throws a big, cray-zee party. The occasional class field trip is nice, but the cons outweigh the pros, examples include, birds, couples, and...
"Hello my favorite little Adam sucker, and her oversized uncle. Guess what today is, hmm." Discord asked as he walked in, he didn't bother to knock but when he did, it was because it was unexpected. I looked over at him and smiled. You know what's interesting is how I used to look forward to his visits more, but now that I have a thousand years of internal growth, my mentality is much older than the eight year old little girl who was screaming endlessly.
"The start of season two?" I ask.
"Yep! It's field trip day everyone." He replied as he walked over to the fridge and grabbed a couple of beers. He tossed one at Charlie who caught it effortlessly as he got up from the couch. I saw that he was re-re-re-re-re-re-re-rereading The Angel Experiment, one of his favorite series of all time that, oddly enough, involved nothing religious. Handing me one, we popped the tops off and downed our drinks.
Needless to say, you can't get drunk in your own mind, though there is nothing stopping you from enjoying the taste. Apparently, Charlie's memories were why I could even taste the beer. Discord too, who knew that the god of chaos has never once drank the beverage of chaos.
"Damn it Discord, you grabbed Miller Lite!" Charlie yelled as he threw it over his shoulder. Grumbling, he walked past the broken glass and grabbed another bottle from the fridge.
"Hey can you get me some Budweiser?" I asked.
"Sure sure, you and your dad have fucked up taste in beer." He replied as he walked back to the porthole. We stood there drinking beer as we watch the day begin, Princess Plothole-if-she-sits-down-too-fast raised the sun, we whistled and yelled obscenities that if she heard, she would immediately crack us open, crack our skulls and seal us back up. Gardeners trimmed the grass by eating it, landscapers gave our statues a long, long overdue cleaning and we simply yelled and joked at them all morning.
Sometime after lunch, we were continuing as normal, curse this, insult that, ya know? Day to day living. I can finally hear the sound of hooves on the pathway though the statue gardens.
"Here is the statue Fatherhood, based upon the three month reign of terror that the monsters Feast and Beast unleashed, the story behind them is that Feast would consume the blood of ponies and would one day grow up and go through metamorphosis until she ends up looking like Beast. What can you tell from the statue?" Yeah, ever the tall tale telling prick princess, eh Luna. Points for getting one part of it correct. Unfortunately, she still lost points for the whole Nightmare Moon thing.
"Well, I better be going back home. I gotta prepare my big entrance." Discord called as he walked back to the fridge for a bottle. "Try not to be too impatient, okay?"
"Sure sure, see you, Discord." Charlie told him as we waved, looking back out of the window, I noticed that the Crusaders were bouncing with joy.
"Beast has two pointy hooves!" Oh, real observation skills there Applebloom.
"Feast has a large *gulp* needle." Chalk another one up to the CMC everybody, now what's the chic-
"Beast is holding Feast close, like a dad would." Huh, way to go Scoots. Plus twenty to Best Crusader skill.
"Like you would know what that feels like, flightless freak." Oh joy. Now we just nee-
"Yeah, your own parents didn't want you, hay, even this monster wouldn't want you." Three things make me and my uncle madder than anything, and those two just did all three. I just need a little more incentive to drain them dry.
Cra, ack, acK!
"Holy, fucking, shi-" My train of though is promptly derailed by a ton of metal, muscle and failed anger management classes. That and a quick slap to the back of my head that sent my beer flying into the window.
"Watch your language, just cause you're over a thousand years old mentally, does not mean you can curse." He told me with a serious expression.
"Sorry, but seriously, you feel it too, right?" My uncle shook his head as I walked towards the only door in the mental room. I walked out and ended up in a generally nondescript hallway. Both sides of the hallway had doors like ours, simple mass produced doors with name tags.At one end of the hallway was a conference room where everyone meets up every now and then to discuss statue things. How many times your statue was cleaned over fifty years, which birds you hate more than others, telling each other the latest joke that ever guard will tell their partner when they patrol the cells. I'm sorry, decorative arts living statues project. Next door to our room was the dark little room I haven't been in since we made our apartment all of those years ago. Before I left, I turned around and gave him one last hug, I thought it was going be the last time I get to see him without his suit.
Once I got in the dark room, I created a window where my stoned self's eyes were and got a view of Charlie's dive suit covered gut. The cracking sound was louder, I no longer felt like a mouse in giant's clothes, I felt my conscience fill my stone form as it crumbled. When I blinked, I did so out of necessity instead of habit.
"Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon! Apologize to Scootaloo right now, I'm going to have a talk with your parents about this." Honestly, I wasn't really paying attention to Cheerilee, I was too busy smiling at the thought of how I'm going to get those two. Heh, maybe even before my 'Daddy' woke up.
A couple of mumbled apologies were all she got, along with DT whispering something about how Cheerilee will be able to talk to their parents. I slowly turned around and smiled, Charlie's arms still enclosed me, protecting me as well as he could against the rainbow cannon. When I finished turning around, I noticed none of their massive and cute eyes were on me.
Their eyes were on Diamond Turd and Best Crusader who stood nose to nose, I could already feel a smile form. "Hey!" They slowly turned from each other to stare, open mouths and all, at me. "Can I play?" I asked, leaning on Charlie's arms.
I swear, the looks on their faces, priceless. In the span of a second, I saw them go from confusion, to dumbfounded, to pure fear. As Theresa looked at them, a playful and innocent smile adorning her face, they slowly started backing up. To which Theresa crawled out of my stone arms, positioned to shield her from the rainbow cannon.
"I just want to play, maybe after that we can go get a bite to eat. Do you know anywhere that serves a good horse delish?" I couldn't see her face anymore, but I could tell she was licking her lips. Surprisingly, most of the fillies and colts didn't look as scared as they were moments ago, too bad it was only most.
"S-s-stay away you freak." After Diamond Tiara said that, I just knew that Theresa would be hurt. Not by her words, but by the nodding of all the other young ponies. Theresa stopped her advance, looking at them, I could tell that they simply were agreeing with the "leader" i.e, the first one to talk.
"What did you say?" The nodding stopped. "No really, what did you say, I couldn't hear you the first time." Don't fall for it, do not fall for it, show me how smart yo-
"You heard her, stay away." Oh, Sliver Shits fell for it. Too bad, I was hopeful that this wouldn't have to happen. I can't say I pity you, because my pity is being used up on your mortician, oh how he'll curse your stupidity.
"Oh, I thought she said something else, something that rhythms with, peak," A collective gasp was shared between the group, I could hear them hitch their breaths. "Or leak." another gasp, followed by the dumbest pair of ponies I've ever laid eyes on (figuratively speaking), stepped forward. Easily competing with that one time I once watched a unicorn filly nearly chase a butterfly off of a balcony, something about it being this rare moth.
"What's the matter, you didn't hear her call you a freak?" Thing One folks, ain't it amazing what falls through the cracks in your local school system.
"Heheh, yeah. Even a monster like you gotta have some sense of hearing, even with those weird ears." And that would be Thing Two, if I could've seen which was which,I'd tell you what they looked like, if only so you could avoid them if you ever got turned into a zombie, in Equestria, in this time period.
Now, from what I could see, Theresa was standing just outside of my vision, from the look of her shadow, she was standing there with her hypo needle propped on one shoulder, kinda like how movies do it. From what I could hear, it sounded like the teacher was one of those whose parents used the stick. I assume it was the standard, "Clean your room, or I'll let Blah blah and Yada yada come take you away," story. Poor thing was hyperventilating, lost control on sight if I had to guess.
"Well?" Theresa said, "Are you just gonna let your students talk like that, to someone that they've just met no less." The poor thing is still panicking, though she seems to be calming down some.
"E-e-everypony apologize, r-right now." A round of mumbled "I'm sorry's" counts for something, right?
"It's okay, but there is one little thing." What are you playing at, Theresa? "I want you four pricks to give me a pint of your blood, the rest of you can get off easy with a cup."
Silence. I don't hear a thing, not the wind, their breathing (if they're still breathing), or the slow cracking sound behind me. Dear god, I created a monster, I'm so, so sorry, Codey, Ryder. I fuc-
Wait. She's laughing, it's okay. I just made a troll. A dark, blood drinking troll.
"Heh, you should see the looks on your faces, fucking priceless." Hmm, no cursing, Theresa. You know how I feel about that. "You, Diamond Tiara, looked like you were inches from shitting yourself, Bwa hahaha. An-an-and you, Silver Spoon, hehe, you looked ready to faint, ha! Not to mention you two morons, dear God, I'm going to die laughing!" Okay, you really need to calm down. "The best part, is I think you would've actually let it happen, Miss Cheerilee, oh hoho, I thought you would've stood up for your students, instead you pretty much went fucking cationic with fear."
CRACK!
Her laughter stopped immediately when she heard that, I slowly stood up, my shadow reaching all of the way to the class's hooves. Theresa slowly turned around and gave me a sheepish smile. I smirked under my helmet and started tapping my foot, making mini earthquakes with each tap.
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.
"Sorry, I got a little carried away, huh?" She refused to meet my glare when she said that. My yellow porthole light shinning on her face, reflecting off of her yellow, slightly glowing eyes every time she checks to see if I'm still glaring.
"*A little?*" I groaned.
"Okay, a lot carried away." She replied.
I looked from her to the class, all of them were hiding behind their teacher, who were doing a good impression of the statues. I pointed my primary drill at them, they flinched of course, and then I pointed to the exit of the Stone Prison Gardens. I must have blinked, because one second they were there, the next, gone. Pony shaped clouds were all that was left.
"*Come on, let's go talk to Discord.*" I motioned for her to grab my left drill, and we walked down the path towards our savior/eternal annoyance. Once we got there, we were welcomed with the ever loving voice of a mad god.
"You two ruined my big exit." I looked at the imprisoned god of chaos before I decided to test the waters.
"*You can understand me, right?*" I groaned.
"Yeah, what of it?" I nod at his reply.
"*Can anyone else?*"
"Nope, just Theresa and me, everyone else will just get your standard animalistic groans and roars." Hmm, well shit.
"Couldn't you have fixed that, you did remove most of our programming. Which I still don't understand why you did that." I look over at her when she said that, before looking back and adding my two bits.
"*Yeah, two blank slates, and you just turn them back to... well, normal, coloured slates.*"
He was silent for a while, something that's rather rare for him. "I may be many things, but I am not a slave driver, nor am I willing to let two individuals live empty, ghosts of their former lives. I looked through your memories, and what I saw, the viciousness you unleashed on that man, the lack of regret when you were told he would be in a hospital for months, if not years, the fact that you told a man who held your future in his hands that you would've killed the sick prick if those people didn't drag you off, I saw someone who was worth more as a whole, then the splintered monster that you were trapped in. That's why I spent all that time unlocking both of your memories. I realize that I go against the grain that ponies typically enjoy, but not once have I ever killed a pony or any other living creature. Besides, what fun are you two if you both thoughtless beasts." I'm struck speechless by his explanation, no words or groans can truly express my gratitude and slight annoyance. "As to your lack of a voice, never came up. I didn't expect you two to break out and most of the time I was busy with your minds, not your singing career." Still grateful.
"*...Thanks, just, thanks.*"
"You know, you're not as bad as the bimbo princesses like to think." Bimbo? Eh, I'll take what I can get.
"Your both welcomed, now if you don't mind, I have some chaos to spread, ta ta for now." With that, his statute turned into a swarm of mini Discords and flew off.
"I like him." Nodding my head, as well as most of my upper body, I turned towards the exit when Theresa spoke up. "Uncle, Where's my doll, and your plasmids and tonics?"
"*...FUCK!*" ---~~~---
One thousand years ago...
---~~~--- The blue splicer horse blasted me again, whatever plasmid that she has is almost as efficient as the white one's. Grinding my boots into the ground in a vain attempt at finding some traction, I slowly get pushed back. Squeezing my left drill's trigger, I wait for it to max out it's RPMs.
"Surrender foul beast, thou hast surely lost this battle." Growling at her demand, I thrust my left drill in front of me, watching as the plasmid gets dispersed to the sides. At first I was confused at how my drill was able to block against plasmids, but now I'm grateful about its new ability. After all, three days and not once had I dealt with a single leadhead, crossbows seem to the their go-to for range instead. Heck, I've seen twisted mockeries of thugs, brutes, even bird-cat spider splicers. Houdini splicers were thankfully restricted to the horned splicers, and the two winged, horned, brute sized uber-splicers that I'm currently fighting now.
Roaring my fiercest battle cry, I charge her with my drill still blocking the plasmid, my only thought was, 'Big Daddies don't quit!'
She dodged my attack by taking to the air, flying above the strange, brown pillars with the fluffy, green tops. She smirked at me until I wiped it off of her face with my grapple drill, smashing it right into her jaw. I retracted my drill as I head towards the crumpled heap, ready to finish this.
"Luna!"
Turning around, I see the white splicer charging me, I merely charged back. Releasing another roar as my boots shook the ground. She spun around on her forelegs and kicked me in the chest, I responded before she could get her footing by bringing both off my drills down on her hips. Lifting one of my armoured boots, I gave my best at replicating the Bouncer's signature move, on her tailbone. Before I could stomp and cripple her, the blue splicer blasted me with the same plasmid from earlier, my precarious footing sends me flying, if only for a few yards.
"Sister, are thee okay? I slowly got back to my feet, staring at the two splicers in front of me. The strange thing was the blue one was helping the white one up. Sure, I heard the white one say sister, I may be a Big Daddy, but I ain't deaf. If anything my hearing is better than theirs, just being able to hear them though my diving helmet says how different (BETTER AT EVERYTHING!) I am from normal humans.
"hurds, bud we ard vine." Hurt? The crazy horse is far past hurt, she looks like a hockey player.
Wait...
What the fuck is hockey? Why does it feel like something I should know about? Why is there blood pouring out of my nose?
Pushing the strange word (and nosebleed) I know and at the same time don't know out of my mind, I start revving my two drills.
"Let us finish thee's fight sister, thee should focus on finding where thine monster is hiding." With a nod from the blue horse splicer, I realize that she was going to try and find my daughter. Cocking my right arm back, I throw a punch while depressing the second trigger, sending the drill flying towards the blue horse splicer. Only for her to use another unfamiliar plasmid, this one creating a bubble shield.
As soon as my drill hits the strange barrier plasmid that the blue one made, I press the third trigger and yank back to recall the drill before either of them get any ideas. They may be splicers, but even splicers can get a rare idea now and then. Poorly thought out most of the time, but ideas nonetheless.
Charging the barrier, both drills spinning at full speed, I slam the drills into the shield plasmid. At first I thought I wasn't making any headway, until I saw several cracks creeping into my restricted view. After a few seconds, the barrier between me and my quarry shatters and immediately I'm sent flying when the larger splicer hits me with the strange beam plasmid.
Landing next to one of the strange pillars, I start to pick myself up and prepare to attack again when something bounces off of my helmet, I look up at my daughter sitting one of the pillars odd appendages, acting like the rest of the strange pillar only these were parallel to the ground. Her blonde hair framing her face as her glowing eyes look at me with worry.
Looking down, I see a plasmid syringe on the ground, tilting my head back to look at her again, I see her point at the two splicers who were currently walking towards us. I understood what she was implying immediately, with a flick of my wrists, the braces on my arms loosen, followed by both of my drills being thrown to the ground.
"Are thee seeing the error of thou's ways!?" I look at the white splicer horse for a moment before I reach over and grab the syringe in my gloved hand. Looking at it, I see that it has a picture depicting a floating rock and a hand. Telekinesis, not the best for combat, but with the side effects from taking your first plasmid, It'll be enough.
"What ever thou art planning, we shall stop thee!" The only thing I'm planning on, is protecting my daughter, I am a Big Daddy, the king of Rapture, and I. Will. NOT. FAIL!
Standing up, I plunge the needle into my arm, immediately depressing the safety handle and plunger. My heart starts racing. My vision blurs. I can feel the Adam take effect, the feeling is amazing. No wonder splicers are as crazy as they are, this feels great! I'm aware of things shaking, or is it me?
Suddenly, both of my drills start lifting off of the ground, one of the strange brown pillars in front and to the side of the splicers starts shaking violently before being lifted out of the grounds, bits and clumps falling off of it. The two splicers looked shocked. ---~~~--- Shaking my head to clear the memory, I remove my left drill and hang it on a hook built into my armour. I stare at my gloved hand for a few seconds, clenching and opening my hand a few times at the thought of how I truly am a monster.
But who said monsters can't be the good guy now and then. Heck, look at the Frankenstein Monster, in the end he just wanted to protect his creator.
Looking over at Theresa, she apparently was thinking the same thing.
"Uncle Charlie, are we... Monsters?" What could I say? Should I lie to her, tell her the truth? Wordlessly, I reach over and bring her into a one handed hug, mindful of my enhanced strength. She silently cries into my dive suit and I slowly stroke her hair, in all of our years spent talking, this topic never once came up.
After a few moments, we break our hug and she wipes her tear filled eyes. I look around, expecting to be surrounded by the guards, only to see the gardens are empty. Strange for mid-day, but heck, the king of cray-cray is back in town.
"*Come on, we have to hurry if we're going to beat the guards.*" Standing up, she takes my hand and we head towards the castle entrance, a few thoughts running through my head as we approach.
'How the hell are we going to sneak through this place, let alone find Luna's room without bringing a detachment of guards down on our heads? Fuck man, my every step is a miniature earthquake, and its not like my porthole light can be turned off.'
My thoughts are interrupted by a weird hole opening in front of us, I drag Theresa behind me in case of an attack. After a few tense seconds, a couple pieces of paper flew out, followed by the strange rip in the fabric of space closing. Reaching down, I pick up the small, square one while noting the other being a paper airplane with a stamp on it.
Looking over it, I realize that it's an old Polaroid photo, crouching down, I turn it over to show Theresa. The photo was of a girl, a little older then Theresa in some weird pajamas smiling wide with her arms stretched out of frame, likely holding the camera. Blonde with blue-ish eyes, she had an innocent look to her.
Suddenly, a happy, carefree voice speaks up, almost causing me to drop the photo.
"Hello! I’m Lumen, the daughter of Discord! If you… Wait, what side are we on…? Okay! If you’re a good guy then I’ll help you… Oh! And you can’t curse while I’m around, daddy doesn’t like that."
Looking over at Theresa, she beats me to the punch, and cake, "Can you imagine being raised by Discord, Fuc-"
Moaning my displeasure at her choice of words, I look over the photo once more, thinking of how I can turn this interesting child to an advantage.
'If Sun butt is busy with Discord's... Playtime, and Moon cakes doesn't even show up in this episode, then I think the lunar bitch could go for some kid sized chaos of her own.' Smiling at the thought of a new ally, and possible friend for Theresa, I reach over and unfold the paper airplane. Immediately followed by me crumpling it up and handing it to Theresa.
Looking over the once proud airplane of the paper empire, she wordlessly stuffs it into her pocket, before looking at the photo and asking me a question.
"Any ideas on how this thing works?" I leaned over and look at the photo once more, honestly stumped.
"*Hmm, try something cliche.*" She sighed before balling up the photo and throwing it at me, shouting (quietly).
"Lumen, I summon you!"
For a few moments, nothing happened, the photo was still on the ground, no holes opened in mid air. Just as I picked it up and was about to call it quits, I heard a thump behind me. Looking at Theresa's face, I followed her line of sight to see... The same girl in the photo, but with some additions. For one, a brown teddy bear hung onto her neck while… Panting? Then there was those awesome grilled glasses that rappers wear sometimes over a pair of normal, less cool glasses, a glowing pink and a black ring on each ring finger, a Wii remote connected to her right wrist, and a pistol in her left hand. She was laying on her side, arms stretched. ---~~~---
Third PoV, Theresa and Mister Cee, Lumen and Teddy.
---~~~--- Looking at the girl in front of them, Theresa was the first to speak.
"Hi, you must be Lumen, who's that?" She asked, while reaching out to wave at the pair on the ground. Mister Cee kept his eyes on the two, his thoughts kept to himself while trying to determine if they were a threat.
Lumen jumped to her feet, causing her teddy bear to fall with a silent yelp. She pointed the gun at the two, but kept a goofy grin, “Oh, that’s just Teddy! Oh, and nice to meet you two!” She squeezed the trigger, and a flag with the word BANG! popped out.
Mister Cee took a step back when she pulled the trigger, hoping that the gun didn't have any armour piercing rounds, while simultaneously putting Theresa behind him, when the flag popped out, he took a few seconds to collect himself before laughing.
'Of course the daughter of Discord would be a loony toons fan.' He thought.
“Seriously, who are you?” Lumen asked, still pointing the cartoony gun at them. Seeming a bit nervous.
Mister Cee simply shook his head before looking behind him and asking Theresa to translate.
"My name is Theresa, that's my uncle Charlie, we're in need of a little help, do you think you would like to help us get our stuff back from the blue bit-"
Smack.
"Ow!" Looking up at Mister Cee, Theresa could only rub the back of her head while he looked down at her, his yellow porthole light telling her all she needed to know.
"Heh, sorry about that." She then turned back at Lumen.
“I wish I could do that to you when you misbehave…” Teddy sighed. Lumen didn’t even look at him as she pointed her cartoon gun at him and shot the flag into his chest, sending him into a wall. Afterwards, she placed the weapon into her pocket.
"Did, did he just... Talk?" Mister Cee merely looked down at her and replied,
"*After all this time, it's nice to know you can still be surprised.*" He groaned.
Shaking the thought away, Theresa merely repeated her earlier question. "So, who was that?"
Lumen giggled, “I already told you, silly! He’s Teddy! If you wanna get technical, he’s a replica of the Teddy Bear from Among The Sleep, a horror game back on Earth.”
"Oh-kay." Shaking his head, Mister Cee merely passed it off as another assault on his already beaten psyche, whereas Theresa asked another question, "Is he okay?"
Lumen looked towards the wounded bear, “He’s been torn in half, eaten, set on fire, and even thrown into the sun. As long as I’m alive, he is.”
“Unfortunately…” Teddy groaned.
"*Little bear done went through twice the shit I've done, and half the shit I wouldn't ever wish on anyone... Except eaten, I still wish that one stallion was eaten by timberwolves, also that one prick... Hope he's still in a prison where the inmates have a sense of justice.*"
Theresa nodded her head, silently hoping for Big Bubba to be more than a mere scary story. Shaking the thoughts of pain filled screams and concrete motels, she looked back and smiled at Lumen, before walking over and holding out her hand. Lumen took it and squeaked.
“So, who is this ‘Blue Bit’?” Lumen asked.
"Princess Luna, she stole my doll and a lot of my uncles stuff." She replied. Lumen stepped back a bit, eyes wide.
“L-Luna?” She asked, utter fear written on her face.
“Lu, she can’t hurt you here.” Teddy said, walking over as he pulled out the flag. “You’ll just teleport home. And master gave you that ring, remember?”
Lumen shook her head, “R-right,” she said before she disappeared. She appeared on Mister Cee’s helmet, “I can do this!”
Besides the fact that, to him, Lumen might as have well weighed as much as a hat, Mister Cee thought to himself before asking Theresa to translate for him again.
"He said, 'whatever your problem is with Moon cakes, you won't have to worry, he once busted out most of her teeth trying to defend me,' Luna isn't the one he's worried about, even with her sister he was holding them both off with just his drills."
Lumen rubbed her head, “It’s nothing… Anyways, I’m in!”
"Great, as you can probably tell, my uncle isn't the quietest person, so if you can distract the guards, we'll find her room, grab our stuff and meet up somewhere." Theresa smiled, for some reason, she found Lumen to be a nice change of pace, then again, most everything is nice when you can move again.
Lumen smirked, “I can do that in my sleep! Distractions are- er, would have been my middle name if it wasn’t Gwen…” She chuckled, “I don’t wanna talk about that, though… Point me to said guards I must divert!”
Laughing along, Mister Cee turned around and walked up to the double doors leading to the castle's interior, placing his left hand in between them and pushing revealed that the doors were locked. Pushing a little (a lot) harder, the doors flew in, crashing to the ground in front of at least a dozen shaking guards. Looking at them Mister Cee merely groaned, "*Must be Tuesday.*"
Lifting his left boot, Mister Cee gave the floor in the doorway a moderate, to him, stomp, knocking the guards to the ground and leaving a inch deep, boot shaped crater. The guards started yelling and kicking each other in a desperate bid to escape the monster in front of them.
The sight of which made Theresa facepalm, she looked up at Lumen and asked, "Could you keep these punks from reporting this, even if half the castle heard that, they could've been listening to us."
A psychotic smile spread across Lumen’s face, and she jumped off of Mister Cee. “Sure, or my title isn’t Daughter of Chaos!” She grabbed the glasses over her eyes and threw them in opposite directions. They exploded, causing the most of the guards to be blinded. She then started swinging the Wii remote, sending other guards into the air at random moments.
"Is she always this... Playful?" Theresa asked the Teddy bear beside her, watching as some of the guards started going through more and more complex patterns.
“Most of the time. But there is the few occasions like Monday when she’s sleeping all day or Valentine's Day/Hearts And Hooves Day when she’s just plain evil.” Teddy responded. “She hates that day…”
Nodding his head, Mister Cee just turned to his niece and told her to say goodbye.
"Well, it's been... Unusual, but that comes with making friends sometimes I guess. Try and keep her away from the throne room for me." She said, before walking over to Mister Cee and being placed on his head. Mister Cee walked over, careful to avoid the now dog fighting guards, and grabbed one to bring to his porthole. The guard merely fainted before being dropped and replaced with a different one with a stronger force of will.
“I thought we were meeting up afterwards…” Teddy said, “Blegh, whatever. If you do want to meet up after this, just call out Lumen’s name on the photo…”
"Will do, now then, where is Luna's room." She turned back to the shaking guard being held in Mister Cee's hand.
"D-d-down that hall, three stories up, take a left when you get out of the stairwell, but you'll never make it, there's more than enough of us to-to..." Pulling the guard closer, Mister Cee growled and dropped the now unconscious guard on top of his other weak willed brother in arms.
“Seeing as a little girl swinging a controller was able to beat them with very little difficulty, it shouldn’t be a hassle.” Teddy said as he started leading Lumen in the direction that didn’t lead to Luna’s room. Mister Cee and Theresa both waved bye before he turned around.
Walking over the two guards, Mister Cee walked down the hall the guard pointed out. Theresa kept an eye out for anyone who might try and sneak up on them. Reaching a door with a staircase symbol on it, Mister Cee opened the door and growled. 'Had to be wooden, why did it have to be wooden stairs, everything else is carved out off solid rock, but nooooo, the stairs have to be some bullshit weak wood.' He thought as he tested the first step, noting the lack of splinters flying. Testing the next step, he received the same results. 'Must be magic.' ---~~~--- Theresa's PoV ---~~~--- After we climbed the stairs, slowly, we came out in a fancy hallway. Turning right, my uncle proceeded to walk, in the wrong direction.
"Hey, the guard said left, what gives?" I ask.
"*Don't you think he was a little too eager to tell us where to go, not to mention his darting eyes at the end.*" He replied. Thinking back, yeah. Gah, how could I miss a pony telling a lie, they suck at lying.
After a few moments of walking as quietly as possible, we started to come to an intersection at the end of the hall. After he placed me back on the ground, I peeked around the left hallway, quickly yanking my head back.
"There's three guards, standing around and talking in front of a plain looking door." I whispered. Peeking around the other corner, mindful of the guards behind me, I saw two guards standing beside a large pair of dark coloured double doors on the other side from us. "Two more, that must be Luna's room. How do we get them away through?"
Looking back at my uncle, I see him looking down the hallway in front of us. Following his gaze, I see nothing but a few paintings and a flower pot on a pedestal.
"What are you planning on doing?" I silently ask. In response, I watch him lift his left hand and point it at the flower pot, levitate it over a few inches, and drop it on the floor with a smash.
"What was that?" I hear the distinct clip-clop of hooves heading towards us from our left, while my uncle pulls me over to the left side and hides us behind a curtain.
"This isn't going to work, it never works, not even in Scooby Doo." I whisper, my uncle just remains standing behind the see through curtain. His boots poking out from the bottom. The sounds are getting closer, looking through the curtains, I see three pony silhouettes stop in the intersection.
"Hey, did you guys hear that?"
"Obviously, do you see what caused it?"
"Nah, nopony here, do you think this castle might be haunted?" What followed after that were a few tense minutes of them arguing the possibility of ghosts, I was ready to go out there and stab one of them with my hypo syringe just to shut them up.
"What ever neighsayer, I'm going to go grab some food from the cafeteria. Hey, you guys want anything?" Hearing two "yes's" and two "we're on duty's", I listen to the approaching sounds of their hoofsteps.
"I'm telling you guys, this place could be haunted." A male voice said as it's owner walked two feet from our hiding place.
"Whatever, Shadow Chaser, let's just go get some hayburgers." Replied another male voice, obviously annoyed at Shadow for continuing the unwanted conversation. Listening, and waiting, for one of them to shout an alarm, I release a breath I didn't even know I was holding.
Stepping past the curtain, I look up and could easily imagine the smile on his face. "How did that even work?" I ask.
"*Cartoon logic, the 'bad guys' haven't started their master plan yet, so nearly anything they do is nigh undetectable.*" He replied, if groans could sound smug then he's the first to discover how. "*Come on, we don't have much time before someone comes across the pile of guards, assuming Lumen didn't pick up her toys before leaving to find more, and even if she did there's still the destroyed doors.*"
Peeking around the corner, I see the same two guards... Guarding. The symbol on the door is of a crescent moon, declaring to the world, and to two humans in particular, who the room's occupant is.
"So, what's your plan this time?" He doesn't reply for a moment before removing his other drill and placing it on the hook built onto his armour, making him look like some weird quick drawing drill shooter. I watch as he walked around the corner, his hands pointing at the two, still unaware guards.
With a burst of his plasmids and a couple of yelps, the two, possibly deaf, guards flew through the air and slammed throat first into his hands. Bringing them both up to his porthole, I watch as his light turned yellow, then orange. Luckily, both of the guards faint (and piss themselves) from fear before it can turn red.
With a couple of silent thumps, the two were dropped onto the ground, before one got rolled onto his back and the other placed head-to-flank in the sixty-nine position.
"Really? Bad enough all of the ponies we've met so far are scared to death, but that's just too far." I said, though I disapproved of how he treated them, I couldn't really judge him, he was just trying to lighten the mood before we go rob a princess, who robbed us first.
"*Don't judge me... Or my humour.*" He groaned.
Stepping closer to the doors, he pushed them open slowly, and peered in. Stepping around him, I looked in the room and stare. A massive four poster bed to our left with a dozen pillows on the floor next to it and a distinct lump in the middle, three doors on our right, a desk in the back left with one of those chairs that declare to the world, yes, I cost your years salary, several bookshelves behind it and a massive window to the right.
The walls are done in a dark blue colour with the occasional, beautifully painting of some landscape or ocean, all featuring a large full moon. The ceiling is a masterfully replication of a clear summer's night sky. The desk, bed and bookshelves likely mahogany or some other expensive wood, with a simple, yet beautiful gold trim.
Stepping in and breathing in a dizzying mix of fragrances and the smell of... Paint? I looked back at my uncle, who's yet to move from the doorway. Looking over my shoulder, I see that he's, possibly, glaring at the Luna shaped lump in the bed.
"Come on, she once slept through an entire invasion with wedding bells, she'll sleep through you." I whispered to him, slightly covered up by the soft snores coming from the bed.
"*One, that was in the cartoon. Two, that hasn't happened yet. Three, I am an invasion.*" He replied, after a moment though, he stepped through the door and shut it. The only light was the pale yellow of his porthole light until he turned on his mini floodlights. Sweeping left to right, the lights settled on the doors on our right.
Walking over, I proceed to open them. 'Closet, lot's of blue. Bathroom, more blue. Ah, memory lane.'The room I found had a lot of shelves filled with little memories, one was devoted to small stones, mostly dark blue to light purple. Another was filled with seashells and sand dollars, probably called sand bits. In the corner was a large easel with a rough draft of a small town with Canterlot framed by the moon in the background. Looking around, I could tell she valued each and every one of these objects deeply. Looking back, I see my uncle standing in the doorway, his lights all aimed at one of the top shelves in the back.
'Jackpot! I thought. In front of a small army of bottles was a small Mr. B doll. My Mr. B doll with his baseball head, small can strapped to his back and a corkscrew for the drill.
"Come on, let's grab this stuff and go." I whispered, after a moment of waiting, he finally walks over, grabs my doll and hands it to me. I didn't really need it, or want it really. Yet for some reason, the sight of it made me feel better. Sure, buying this stuff kinda made all this happen, but I can't really blame a toy for all of it.
I looked up and saw my uncle grab one of the syringes and inject the disgusting mix into his arm. I watch as he repeats the action until all of the plasmid syringes are empty, followed by him hooking most of the tonics into a small device which immediately emptied each one.
"Did you really need all of those at once?" I asked. He looked down at me, the last tonic held in his hand, brain boost, before answering.
"*We're going to need them soon, I can feel it in my... Do I still have a gut?*" He groaned, I could see what he meant, at least one of them will be used right now, and the others will likely be used several times over the course of our escape. My thoughts were interrupted by a gasp, spinning around revealed a sleepy, yet shocked, Princess Luna with a nasty case of bedhead standing in the doorway.
My ever so elegant and linguistic uncle spoke a few kind words about his opinion of this particular day of the week before ending with a simple, "*I hate Tuesdays.*"
"Where's your cartoon logic now, huh?" I replied, my eyes never wandering from Luna's.
"Huh?" She replied, probably thinking I was talking to her.
"*Pull the other one, it's got bells on.*"
Riding the Reference Reading Rainbow, so many references, so little time.
---~~~---Mr.Cee, First PoV---~~~--- After a few seconds of me running through ideas on how to get outta this without resorting to violence, the unexpected happened. Princess Luna, Warden of the Stars, protector of lost foals, yawned.
Now I'm not talking about a 'ah hmm, excuse me' kind of yawn, I'm talking jaw breaking, face splitting, fifteen seconds straight yawn.
"Excuse you." Damn, just... Damn. After clearing my head from the effects of Luna's Royal Canterlot yawn, I looked down at Theresa, smiling under my dive suit's helmet at her manners.
"Thank thee, now prepare thyself foul creatures, for we have only-"
"Got back from a thousand years studying moon rocks?" Heh, good job Theresa.
A few seconds pass, before she replied, with a tinge of red on her muzzle. "That is of no business to thee." Ouch, sore spot for that little piece of ground shaking history. Yeah, I shouldn't poke too much, ponies think Theresa is always looking for a poor sap to drain, and I'll rip them in half as soon as look at them. Personally, I'm amazed at how long these ponies will use someone as a monster to scare their foals. Just goes to show that evil is winning in the fight against entropy.
"Actually, I think nearly bringing about the end of days, literally, is the business of every living thing on this planet." Dayum, you just won the thousand year smack talk contest.
After saying that, Theresa was subjected to the full power of an angry, immortal, and sleep deprived female. Regardless of species, all males instinctively know not to piss off the opposite sex first thing in the morning, something I shoulda told her in one of our many talks and classes.
"Thee should watch thy tongue, lest we remove it." Ok, threaten her, and I'll give you summer teeth, some are here, some are there.
"*We need to go, any ideas? Don't reply verbally.*" I looked down and saw her adopt her thinking face before she smiled and pulled out the other piece of paper from that hole. Putting on her sweetest smile, she held it out.
"Ok, you got us, but before we go back to being lawn gnomes, could you help me, I haven't learned how to read yet." Hmm, at least she didn't read it out loud. For a few seconds, we all stood there, before Luna took the once grand airliner of pretty paper airways and looked over it.
Clearing her throat, she spoke in a controlled speed. "I am sofa king we todd ed," Blink, blink. "I am sofa king we todd ed?" Looking at us for a moment, she tried one more time. "I am so fucking retarded."
Quite suddenly, a black portal popped up below her muzzle, which was followed swiftly by a blur flying out of said portal, along with said blur of said portal letting loose, “Shoryuken!” Impacting right into a certain blue princess’s chin, knocking her onto her back.
---~~~---Third person PoV, Mr. Cee, Theresa and Lord Reference---~~~---
Mr. Cee as well as Theresa found themselves to be a little….. confused as to what was currently going on. Yes, Theresa was expecting something to happen, just not quite….. whatever that was. Dusting himself off after practically flying through some dimension of non-euclidean type stuff, stood a strange man. Dressed in a black and white checkered suit, beneath which was a greenskin-suit covering the rest of his body and face, the man then turned to the two and gave an overly extravagant bow.
“Ladies, and gentle…..” doing a double-take at Mr. Cee’s drill the man stopped and stared, before trailing off with, “drill-kin?” Staring for another second or so, holding the bowing gesture, the man then stood straight up, reached into his pocket, and pulled out an iPhone. “Let’s see, let’s see, fimfiction…… bioshock…… too many… uuuuuhhhh, displaced, Ah-ha, here we go, just to double check….. Luna… blah-blah-blah, sofa king, shoryuken…. Yep! This seems to be it!” Putting the phone back into his pocket,. his mask crinkles into a smile and the stranger once again bowed, “I am known as Lord Reference, or Manic, or Squire Edswilington Sanchez Yamanaka the Third, pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Stepping around her uncle, Theresa looked at the dazed princess and smiled at Lord Reference. "Hi! My name is Theresa, this is my uncle Charlie and she looks pissed."
Looking down at Luna, Mister Cee stepped forward and picked up the angry immortal by her tail, holding her upside down.
"Do thy worst, I've survived more vile creatures than-" Slamming her back and forth into the narrow walk-in closets walls and shelves, Mister Cee kept a steady pace while Theresa looked up at the strange, greenskin-suit wearing man.
"So, while he does... *SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!* ...That, mind telling me what's going on? The last person we summoned, we were too preoccupied with making friends." She asked.
Looking down at the girl, Manic began, “Oh, there’s lot’s of things going on, but it’s a big multiverse, you know, and this is sort of my first time doing things…… or third….. ” he raised a hand to his chin, stroking it, “or forty-second….. Time gets all wibbly-wobbly, hard to say,” he shrugged. “But in the end none of it matters, what does matter is what you want, and I suppose, I’m here to help with that. Now, whether it’ll be completely kosher…. well, we’ll find out won’t we?”
"Did you say multiverse?" Theresa asked and received a nod. "Did you hear that, Charlie?"
Turning away from the battered alicorn, Mister Cee nodded and looked down again at his victim.
"But Tia, we do not wish to go to school~" Luna slurred out. Whipping her up one more time, she was slammed one last time into the mess that used to be the shelves by the door.
“Heh, loony-toons.” Reference said. “But yes, for every single possibility, every single coincidence, event, butterfly in China, there are as many worlds created from a divergence in time. Some are so similar you wouldn’t even know they were different, others completely opposite of each other. And by every possibility --and I do mean every possibility-- there is a universe where it did or didn’t happen. One where World War II wasn’t a thing, another where Sun-butt was infected by the nightmare, one where a velociraptor suddenly appeared above my head and would proceed to maul my face. Even one where there are some sickos writing about our lives right now!” Reference then turned to a corner of the room, “You hear that you freaks! You’re nothing but a bunch of sick jerks! And you people,” he turned to another corner, “you’re just as demented for watching!” Turning back to Theresa, calming his breathing, Manic began again, “But the important ones for us, are the universes holding other Displaced.”
Without realising that his choice of words made Theresa and her uncle a little upset, Theresa recommended they take this into Luna's suite.
Dragging the now unconscious, and possibly crippled,princess, Mister Cee stopped in front of her bed and slung her at the wall behind it, watching her bounce off and fall onto her bed in a mild sized, to him, pool of broken feathers and blood. Looking back at the others, he simply asked if they wanted to raid her tea cache, waiting for Theresa to translate.
“Sure,” Manic said as he shrugged, “tea-time anytime,” as he said this, the day turned to night and then back to day again quite too quickly. Looking to the window, Manic asked, “Discord’s out isn’t he?”
Nodding his helmet, Mister Cee went to the door to the hallway and dragged the two lunar guards inside, still in their embarrassing posture, and laid them by the bed before going to look for tea. Theresa and Manic went to the desk and sat down on the cushions stacked nearby.
Theresa looked at Reference and asked "What's your Equestria like? Ours seems to stick pretty close to the show."
“Eh, most authors like to stick to the source material, it’s understandable really, but, ignoring that bullshiiiiii-” Mister Cee’s ports began to glow orange, illuminating the floor around him as he was subjected to an unseen, but no less intense, glare, “-iiiinitzel of an answer, it might have something to do with the Equestria’s that we’ve inadvertently created being set in a stuck path. But that’s not the answer to your question. Mine’s a little weird…. especially in the past, Celestia’s actually a corrupt official who doesn’t really seem to understand how to rule her country, there’s rampant speciesism, and all this other junk. I tried to make a country at one point, make things better. Was captured, things happened, and now I’m a thousand years older, a little or a lot less sane -- hard to tell really -- and for some reason, the present is like the show! Although there do appear to be hints of other things going on in the background, what about youse guys?”
Looking at the unconscious princess and guards, Theresa thought before answering, "Hmm, well... We also got here a thousand years ago, with our minds replaced with actual Big Daddies and Little Sister's thought processes, spent three days starving before we found some ponies getting attacked by bandits whereas I... went to work, all of the ponies watched this until one of them attacked us, Mister Cee killed them all and we kinda went on like that until the princesses attacked us, lost and came back the next day with the elements of harmony. Spent a thousand years with Discord, where he reassembled our minds. We got over what we did, slowly, and Charlie spent the rest of the time teaching me until we broke out fifteen minutes ago, met Lumen and came here for our stuff."
“Isn’t it funny how Celestia has nothing better to do but go after Discord, still doesn’t do it, and doesn’t even realize that her guards and sister were attacked in her own castle?” He giggled to himself, ”sounds like she’s as dumb as mine, or even the show’s.” Reference paused after that, “but in a way, the princesses sorta helped you out in a weird non-intentional way, didn’t they?”
Hearing a moan, Theresa looked back at her uncle who was carrying a tea kettle, nodded and turned back to Reference. "My uncle agrees with you and still doesn't like Luna. He also wants to know if you have a preferred flavor."
“Oh, I don’t even like tea,” Manic waved his hand, “I just like to pretend I’m fancy.” Hearing another moan, Theresa looked back at him and asked if coffee would be better, also telling him how there’s more flavors of coffee then tea.
Kneeling down to look Theresa in the eyes, Manic began, “I don’t like tea, but I despise coffee. Besides, do you really want to see any of this,” Manic motioned to himself, “on concentrated caffeine? Any tea will do.”
Shaking his head, Mister Cee went back to the tea cache by the window and grabbed some at random, with a quick burst of his plasmids, the kettle immediately starts to whistle. Unfortunately, the noise woke one of the lunar guards, the bottom one, and he started swearing with every bad word in the equish language.
"-And another thing, buck your mother, you filthy mon-" Finding himself face to deep orange face port with Mister Cee, he shut-up immediately. Giving a deep, whale song inspired moan, Mister Cee raised one hand and pressed down on the stallion-on-top's hips, silencing the guard immediately.
Letting out a guffaw, Manic told the guard, “Didn’t anyone ever tell you, little moth? You don’t mess with daddy……. but in all seriousness, we should probably tie them up.”
Nodding his head, Mister Cee looked over at Theresa and moaned again, ignoring the muffled guard’s speech.
"He said as long as they remain in this... Position, then that's fine with him." She translated.
“Ooh! Dibs on tying Luna to her bedpost using her mane and tail!”
~~~~~~~~~ Thirty Minutes later ~~~~~~~~~
After tying Luna to her bed, positioned so that when she wakes up, she'll be staring at her two guards in a... Unpleasant mix of sharing and bondage fetish, the three Displaced continue talking over tea. Even Mister Cee was enjoying his, due to using the same device that allowed him to drink tonics.
Reference….. well he was making slurping noises as the tea dribbled down his mask and suit, having not taken it off to partake in herb juice. “Hm,” he said contemplatively, “it burns my skin. Well, anymore questions that I may or may not or maybe have answers to?”
"How did those token things get made? I wanna see some worlds where we're not feared as much as Nightmare Moon." Theresa asked immediately. Obviously excited at the prospect of seeing how different some worlds are to her and Mister Cee's.
“Hah! Good luck with the whole acceptance thing kiddo, you’d probably only get to go to other Equestrias, and most if not all of them got that whole herd-mentality-fear-the-unknown-shtick going, although humans are pretty alike in those regards too...” Reference trailed off, teacup hanging from a finger, arms folded contemplatively. “Anyhoo!” He began, flinging his arms wide, sending his teacup flying off to shatter against a wall, “They’re sorta kinda essence thingies, I’m not too sure on the whole thing, because people tend to make ‘em different ways. Me for example,” he gestures at the crumpled piece of paper on the table, which Mister Cee pocketed, “I just used paper with this doo-hickey stamp on it that lets it multiply in the void. Infinite-monkeys-on-typewriter theory states that eventually one of them has to come out of a portal somewhere, incredibly dumb-luck, really.” Manic scratched the back of his head.
“But what most tend to do, is impart their essence or something similar in an object, usually related to their franchise, and then chuck it into the void, and then science!..... For the science god! Bless you Bill Nye.” Mister Cee and Theresa just stare, the girl tilting a singular eyebrow, and the big daddy letting out a huff of what was most assuredly annoyance. Manic sighed, “Look, I dunno, the void does stuff to things. It’s not magic, it’s not some mysterious force -- well, okay, yes it is -- it’s just the laws of the multiverse! Science! It does what it do.”
Considering his words, Theresa pulled out her Mr. B doll and placed it on the table, motioning for her uncle to grab it as well,
“You might wanna add a note or something to summon you, forgot that tidbit.” Nodding her head to Reference's words, the two contemplated with their eyes closed, or at least Theresa's, for a few moments before she opened her eyes and spoke...
"My name is Theresa and this is my uncle Charlie. We are a gatherer and a protector, lost in a strange world and we're willing to fight alongside of you, if you wish only for the ones you love to stay safe, if you need to take back what was once yours, if you merely need a friend, then call on us. After all, good girls gather and daddies protect." Following her speech, Mister Cee roared in a mildly subdued manner. Shaking her head, Theresa asked, "Is that okay?"
“Well, it was sufficiently corny enough for a Saturday morning special, if that’s what you mean, then yeah, sure.”
Shaking her head again, Theresa replied, "Lord Reference, in case you haven't noticed, but this is a Saturday morning special, specifically on how some words are just bad." After she said that, Theresa picked up her doll and whisper something to it before she threw it, followed by a hole forming of nothing swallowing it. She smiled, before suddenly looking out of the window at the moon, which was immediately replaced by the sun, then returned. "Oh man, if you want you can come with us to the hospital, I need to get some blood packs so I don't have to... You know."
“Well, you two get to use me and abuse me for however long I’m here….. well, actually Luna summoned me didn’t she?” Turning back to look at the bound princess, her eyes were wide and bulging with rage, mouth agape, lips beginning to quiver into a snarl staring back at the trio. Reference turned back at the two, cleared his throat, and calmly said, “We should probably run.”
"Hey Luna, look down at your guards." Theresa called out as she stood up, and had Mister Cee grab her as they prepared for the inevitable.
"WHAT HAST THEE DONE TO OUR GUARDS!?"
Manic, taking advantage of the princess’s distraction, immediately reacted to the very bodily need to get out of that situation. By flinging said body out the nearby window. “Okay, thisishappeningnow!” He screamed out as he plummeted downwards.
Never one to be outdone, Mister Cee ran through the wall as well as the most windowless part of the window. As he did, Theresa looked back and smiled at the guaranteed-to-be-a-death-glare that Luna was giving them.
Falling a little over thirty feet, Mister Cee and Reference were surprised to find what they were falling towards, was not grass as one would expect, but in fact...
"Jell-o! Lime flavored, green Jell-o, oh sweet, glorious, chaotic Discord." Theresa yelled, while Mister Cee placed her on the desert, which went up to his knees. Looking around, Mister Cee realised that they had lost Reference.
A little to the left, Manic's head popped free of the delicious greenery, “Hm,” he said as he tilted his head down to view his currently lodged body. “Praise Slaanesh, I guess?” He began to dig himself out of the jell-o, scooping it out of his way.
Looking down, Mister Cee repressed the desire to laugh at the sight of Theresa wading through the thick hospital beloved desert, reminding him of those Vietnam war documentaries. Holding her hypo needle above her head, she slowly walked towards the dirt path, only to find that it had turned to...
"Chocolate pudding, oh yeah, sure, do all the best desserts when we're trying to get away with our lives, and when we finally get somewhere safe, you know what he'll do, MAKE IT RAIN SOUR BALLS!"
"*Calm down, just let me carry you till we're outta... We're back in the statute gardens.*" Mister Cee finished lamely.
“Big daddy’s right, it wouldn’t be raining sour balls, that would be hailing.” Manic replied as he tried to pull his left leg out of the viscous deliciousness, finally succeeding only for the force to send him forward onto the ground staring straight up at Mister Cee. “So, where to next, big guy?"
Looking left and right, Mister Cee shrugged before walking over to the statue representing victory, ripping it from its base and throwing it through the shattered remains of Luna's window fifty feet away. Looking back at the others, he had Theresa translate again.
"He never liked her, too big of a ego to let into our little room in the statue. Other than destroying the princesses’ property, he said Canterlot Royal School of Medicine or Canterlot Emergency Clinic would be our best two choices."
“Well,” Reference began as he wiped off the green slime from his suit, “I’d assume the more likely place to find blood would be the emergency clinic, however that’s a little renegade, it is an emergency clinic…. you know, for emergencies? Raiding supplies from there could leave some ponies in a rather dire strait. The school would probably have some blood though, but not as much, what with it being a school, but at least you wouldn’t have to worry about shafting someone, still, your choice, I’ll go along with it,” Manic shrugged.
Theresa thought for a few moments while they all started walking towards the city before she replied, "Good points, though we don't know how much I'll need, or how long it'll last, I wouldn't like it if my... dietary needs were the reason someone died. School it is." Theresa finished with a firm nod. Meanwhile, Mister Cee ran through everything he could remember about Bioshock but came up with nothing, not once did it ever mention how much a little sister needed on a daily basis, so he decided they would ration on two pints a day unless anything came up. All of this he kept to himself of course.
“Paragon for life, then!” Reference said clapping his hands together. “Well then, guv’nor,” Reference swept into a partial bow, hands pointed to each side, “lead the way.” He finished as they approached the gate. Looking around, wondering how many guards were still chasing Lumen, Theresa pointed at the gate that was locked by a board hanging in two hooks, acting as a lock.
Mister Cee, understanding her intent, stepped forward and grabbed the board and ripped the hooks from the way, rather than simply lifting it out of them. Tossing the board over his head about eighty feet behind them, he opened the gates and stepped out into the city proper.
~~~~~~~~~ A few hours later ~~~~~~~~~~~
After romping about the city trying to locate the medical school, Theresa and Mister Cee only having a vague notion of where to look, they’d finally arrived at their destination. Their trip was rather uneventful, most of the ponies holed up in their homes, due to the rather overly-extravagant return of Discord. Only one pony was spotted their whole trip, running for their life from a sentient wagon of some sort.
Upon walking up to the school's arch, Theresa read the school motto out loud, "'With great knowledge, comes great pay'... What the?" Shaking her head at the rather blunt and greedy school motto, she grabbed Mister Cee's hand and walked to the door and knocked, "Help, some wagon ran over my daddy, please, anypony help us!" Shaking his head, Mister Cee got next to the door so he wouldn't be seen immediately, he motioned for Manic to do the same.
Manic moved in the spot opposite the other door, so that both he and Mister Cee were positioned on both sides of the double-door entrance.
Hearing the approaching hoofsteps, Theresa flashed a quick grin at her uncle and gripped her hypo needle tightly, looking back at the door as a gruff, male voice was heard, "Hold on, I'm the only one here because everypony else ran home to their loved ones," Shifting from foot to foot, Theresa waited while the grumpy stallion unlocked the door, "I’m jus' the janitor, not one o' the doctors so the best I can do is-" Standing in the doorway was a light brown stallion, with a grey mustache, mane, and tail staring wide eyed at the sight of a small girl pointing a needle, larger than any in the school, at his barrel.
Stepping around the closed door on his side, Mister Cee pushed it open and stood in front of the janitor, his porthole light dying his hair light green. Snapping her fingers, Theresa asked the janitor for his name.
"Scruffy, the janitor."° Nodding her head and noticing his cutie mark, a push broom, Theresa walked forward and wrapped an arm around his neck and looked at her uncle towering over the two of them.
"You see, Scruffy, we need to get some things from here. To be honest, it’s an emergency. You see, if I don't drink so much blood a day, then I'll starve, and since we didn't want to inconvenience the hospital by robbing them during these trying times, we came here. Now, the simple question you should be asking yourself is, 'is my uncle gonna hurt you,' and the answer is no, he won't. Another question you should ask yourself is, 'do I really want to clean this whole school, all because I didn't point them in the right direction,' personally, I think you and I both know the answer, so let's cut to the chase and you go unlock the medical supply cabinet. We'll only take so much, and not a drop more." Ending her little speech, Theresa watched as Scruffy calmly nodded before he walked over to the desk in front and pulled a key from one of the drawers.
Walking over to one of the hallways, he looked over his shoulder and asked, “Scruffy ain’t never seen one of you things before,” eyeing the girl, giant metal behemoth, and the strange green thing that had moved forward to join them, now rubbing his face where the door had slammed into him. “Though Scruffy don’t know a lot of things, bein’ just a janitor, what are ya?” He asked as he took a right down the hall.
"You never heard of us? Him I can understand, but us. Beast and Feast, feared monsters of history, we were on display in the Canterlot Statute Garden for a thousand years and you never once saw it?" Theresa asked, pointing between herself, Manic and Mister Cee who had kept quiet during their walk through the empty school, well, as quiet as a half ton of lead, brass and rubber can be on marble.
Scruffy tilted his head as he walked, “........ Nnnnnnope, can’t say that I have. I’m jus’ the janitor.” Scruffy said looking back at the hall.
Manic piped up, “Tess, you have to understand something about Equestria, they tend not to remember history just to repeat it, listen,” Manic turned to Scruffy. “What about Discord?”
“I never liked none o’ that disco, back in the day,” Scruffy replied. Manic just gestured with his hands, as if to say, ‘see what I mean’.
“I mean, the princesses trapped Discord in stone, set him in a public place, and just let everyone forget who he was, and played him off as a sculpted piece of art. Instead of actually warning people away from him, and locking him up in some vault. Let’s not forget Luna, too.” Manic crossed his arms in front of himself, “Completely inept are the words that come to mind.”
Nodding his head inside of his helmet, unseen by the others, Mister Cee kept going over how the guards merely fainted in his presence, yet this stranger, knowing nothing about them, just shrugged off the nearly ten foot tall killing machine following him. Chalking it up to just another person who had mastered shrugging things off, he stopped in front of a door with a sign that said, 'Medical Supplies', with a smaller sign under it that read, 'Keep under lock and key', and waited for Scruffy to unlock the door.
Scruffy grabbed the keys with his mouth, and used them to open the door. Moving forward, along with the trio, he approached a cabinet across the room, pulled out another key from the ring, and opened one of the cabinet’s doors. Mist began to spill out of the cabinet as Scruffy stuck his head in and began to grab bags of blood with his teeth, creating a decently sized pile of bags as he stopped and closed the door. Turning to Theresa, “This here enough fer yer condition?”
"This should be plenty, thanks. Um, do you have a bag?" Theresa asked, while trying not to puke at the thought of drinking blood again.
Grunting, Scruffy nodded his head and began to look around the room for something to carry the bags in. As he did so, Manic asked, “Aren't you worried about losing your job, old timer?”
Scruffy, his head in a bin, grunted saying, “I’m jus' the janitor. Ain’t this place supposed to help ponies? Way I see it, you need help, and I’m helpin’.” He pulled out a bag with a blue gem lodged in its strap, “This here, enchantment should keep the blood cool, or somethin’” he said gesturing to the gem before tossing the bag to Mister Cee.
Bending down, Mister Cee filled the bag and added the last Tonic as well before he stood up to follow Scruffy out. Once outside of the room, Scruffy locked the door and led them back to the exit. On the way, Theresa looked at Scruffy and asked him what he is gonna say to his bosses about the missing supplies and, unfortunately, giant footprints leading to the supply closet.
Scruffy grunted, “Scruffy’ll tell the truth. Some big feller and his lil’ girl needed blood.” He then lay down on a cot some ways behind the front desk, his head on a pillow, he pulled out a magazine, opened it up, stared at the page, licked a hoof, turned the page and let out another grunt.
Walking to the door, Theresa looked over her shoulder and smiled before telling him, "Thanks, if you ever need help, just ask." Receiving a grunt in reply, she turned back to the group and closed the doors as they left.
Manic stretched and cracked his back before sighing, “Well that was a little anticlimactic, don’t you think?” Before either of the two could respond, some sort of creature came flying from the sky, something that was a poor attempt of a dragon mixed with other animal parts. Behind it, on its tail, --some literally-- were royal guard pegasi chasing after it, their golden armor glistening in the sunlight, followed by the moonlight as the two celestial bodies switched places again. Hoofbeats could be heard in the streets as more guards seemed to be following it. The creature landed in the square, looked at the three, its eyes taking on a yellow and red color, while giving a devilish smirk, before bursting apart into confetti as the guards also entered into the square.
“I wonder if this is payment for the jell-o?” Manic asked aloud, as the guards quickly took notice of the three of them just standing there, the stallions drawing their spears. Leaning towards the two, Manic whispered, “Don’t worry I got this, while I do my thing, you two vamoose.”
“You know, just putting your fore-hoof to the side of your mouth like that doesn’t mean we can’t hear you,” one of the guards called out.
Ignoring him, Manic moved forward into the crowd, the guards bristling, “So, the guards have overcome their cowardice, and now, they have arrived to capture us. In the end, what separates a stallion from a slave?” Manic asked as the guards began to look at each other confused, their spears drooping, yet held in sway by Manic’s voice. “Money? Power?” Manic booms out, “No. A stallion chooses; a slave obeys.” Manic turns to a particular pony, marching towards him and looming over him. “You think you have memories;” Manic almost whispers, the stallion shivering. “A farm, a family, a train ride, a stop, and then this place.” The stallion stares up at him eyes wide. “Was there really a farm? Did that train stop, or was it stopped?” As Manic said these things the Stallion shook more and more. ”Stopped by something less of a stallion, something bred to sleepwalk through life until activated by a simple phrase from their kindly master?” Manic had paced away from the stallion, all eyes staring at him. “Were stallions sent to capture? Or slaves?” Manic boomed out to the guards.
Seeming to have had enough, a good number of guards moved forward on the creature, not wishing to hear any more of its ridiculousness. “Stop, would you kindly?” Manic yelled out, halting all of the guards whose eyes widened in panic, no longer able to move. Manic approached another guard, asking “Would you kindly? Powerful phrase. Familiar phrase?” The guard’s eyes are quivering in their sockets an expression of dawning horror gracing his muzzle, seeing and hearing something only he could.
Moving away from the guard, Manic stood in the middle of the square, a distance away from the guards, “Sit, would you kindly?” The guards did so. “Stand, would you kindly?” Again, all of the guards follow his order. “Run.” The guards surged past Manic, who then commands “Stop.” Which the crowd does, immediately followed by the command, “Turn.” The guards about face, the captain of the squad facing Manic directly, sweat beading his forehead. “A stallion chooses; a slave obeys.” Manic wrapped his hand around the captain’s spear, yanking it out of his magical grip, blood began to trickle out of Manic’s nose, colouring his mask. “Dance!” The guards began to dance about rather forcefully, as if resisting the command. Manic’s mask scrunches up in concentration as he looked to Mister Cee and Theresa, calling out, “A man chooses!” Waving tiredly for them to leave as the guards are all jerked about, still resisting whatever hold Manic had on them.
Reaching down and placing Theresa on his helmet, Mister Cee walked through the impromptu dance off, stopping halfway through to zap a pegasus with his Electro Bolt plasmid, smiling at the now twitching, horribly dancing guard. Walking out of the gates, Theresa looked back and waved to Manic before her uncle took off at a dead sprint towards the train station. Hoping the strange, yet delightful, man would be okay.
Manic smiled to himself as the two made their getaway, moving his focus back to the guards as they began to twitch harder, fighting his geass. “A slave obeys!” Manic poured more power into his words, blood dribbling down faster from his nose, to little effect, the guards straining harder against his will. Staggering, Manic held his control for a few more seconds before finishing the speech, “OBEY!!!” The guards responding twitching as if they were almost at the point of seizure. At the end of the shout, Manic went limp and fell to the ground, a portal opening below him as he trailed blood, falling into the void, content with having just acted out one of the best speeches in video game history.
The full moon, The engineer, and the recurring nightmare; Mr. Cee's rage is truly justified.
The Beast in front of us lifted itself from the ground, it's drill floating next to it, hearing the trees around us getting ripped from the earth, my sister made the decision to teleport us out of the center of the clearing. Appearing thirty yards away, we watched as the trees were smashed into the ground where we were mere moments ago.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I turned to my sister just before the trees exploded from their position, pinning us to the trees outside of where the monster ripped the aboral missiles from. Looking through the branches, I watched as it turned around and pulled the other, smaller monster from a tree. After picking up it's drills and putting one on, as well as picking the other syringes from the ground and putting them in a strange, slightly see through bag, the little one grabbed the bigger one's hand and dragged it off away from us.
Using my magic to remove myself from the tree, I made my way over to continue our battle when my sister stopped me. Looking into my eyes, she told me, "Perhaps we should use this time to observe the creature, we may find it's weakness that'll give us the advantage the next time we face it."
Nodding my head at her wisdom, I used my magic to heal the damage to my mouth before I replied, "Thou makes a good reason, though we still wish to stop the foul beast before it harms more of our little ponies."
With that, we took to the sky to observe the beast outside of combat, it seemed to follow the little one's instructions without hesitation. After a few hours it came upon a cart with a dead earth pony, still attached to his harness.
"We've found an angel daddy!" The little one yelled, her voice sounding like there were two speakers. It sent chills down my spine.
We watched with rapt attention as it stood over the little one, turning every which way, it saw us but other than looking back in our direction several times, it made no move to attack.
The little one through, she started singing while she was stabbing her strange syringe into the pony's body. We watched, unable to turn away from the sight.
As we were watching her drink from the bottle on the syringe, barely holding down our lunches, an arrow flew from the bush on the opposite side of the road and barely missed the little one's cheek.
"Ahhhhh! Daddy!" With a great roar, the beast charged towards the bushes as the little one crawled under the cart. We watched as a griffin attempted to flee only to be brought down by the drill on its right arm flying towards him and impacting the poor griffin's wing.
"Don't let them get me daddy!" The little monster screamed as the beast marched towards the downed griffin, lifting the tom into the air with it's left arm, the beast mercilessly punched it's drill into the tom's stomach. We heard, over the griffin screaming in pain and the drill's roar, the little one yelling in her distorted voice, "Daddy's mad and now you'll be sorry!"
A few more griffins stepped out of the bushes and rushed towards the cart, the little monster noticing them and screaming in fear, "Make the baddies go away daddy, make the baddies go away!"
Throwing the dead griffin at his fellows, we watched as it roared before running over and attacking the offending griffins. Even though I felt bad for them, it was obvious that they setted this trap up in an attempt to earn the bounty I placed on the two monster's heads. We watched as it tore into the griffins and ripped the one closest to the cart in half before turning around, stomp the ground in challenge and release a mighty roar.
"Rrrrrrrr!"
---~~~---Luna's PoV---~~~---
"Rrrrrrrr"
Shaking her head, Princess Luna looked at the sight of three bipeds sitting on her cushions, arranged around her desk, and drinking her Zebrica red tea. To say she was mad would be akin to saying the moon is rather far away.
The small one, Feast she reminded herself, shook her head before asking the newest addition to Luna's 'banish on sight' list, "Is that okay?" Luna's brain took a quick vacation at her voice, it wasn't the distorted voice of the monster in her dream, it was the voice of a young filly. 'So I wasn't imagining it,' she thought.
Nodding his, she assumed by the masculine voice, head, the suit wearing, green skinned biped replied, “Well, it was sufficiently corny enough for a Saturday morning special, if that’s what you mean, then yeah, sure.”
Thoughts of pain and revenge flowed through her mind while she watched them, they dared to invade the Lunar Princess's bedroom, break her stuff, drink her tea and knock her out.
"Lord Reference, in case you haven't noticed, but this is a Saturday morning special, specifically on how some words are just bad." After she said that, Feast, as her sister named her, picked up her doll and whisper something to it before she threw it, followed by a hole forming of nothing swallowing it.
Luna's brain tried to take another vacation at the sight but quickly found something else to keep it busy. While watching them, Luna looked out of the window at the moon, which was immediately replaced by the sun, then returned. Her mind was so wrapped up in the implications, she barely caught the end of what Feast was saying.
"...the hospital, I need to get some blood packs so I don't have to... You know." Blood packs? Hospital! They were going to attack the hospital! With her mind cleared of its previous confusion, Luna found herself getting angry again. Really angry.
“Well, you two get to use me and abuse me for however long I’m here….. well, actually Luna summoned me didn’t she?” Turning back to face her, Luna gave them the meanest face she had in her arsenal.
The newcomer, who had tea stains around his mouth area from not removing his mask, turned back to the other two, cleared his throat, and calmly said, “We should probably run.”
"Hey Luna, look down at your guards." Feast called out as she stood up, before being grabbed by Beast. Quickly looking down, Luna found she couldn't remove her eyes from the sight in front of her. Corporal Clear Night and Sergeant Stormy Skies tied in a disturbing, but not uncomfortable looking position of give and take, sixty-nine straight out of Ponysutra. After mere seconds to another but feeling like minutes to her, Luna lifted her gaze and unleashed the full might of the Royal Canterlot Voice.
"WHAT HAST THOU DONE TO OUR GUARDS!?"
Luna watched as the newcomer flung himself out of her window. “Okay, thisishappeningnow!” He screamed out as he plummeted out of sight.
After that, Beast ran through the wall as well as the most windowless part of the window. As he did, Feast looked back and smiled at the you-are-going-to-die-regretting-this glare that Luna was giving them.
Looking back at her guards, Luna dropped her angry expression at the sight of Corporal Clear Night staring at her with pleading eyes. Feeling a little of herself come back, Luna grinned before untying her mane and tail from her bed frame and stepping over them. "Okay, this is definitely stretching Tia's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. I'll give you two a few more seconds like that while I go find out where they're head-"
Smash!
She almost finished before a familiar, and annoying, statute flew in through her destroyed window and impacted her face. Rendering her unconscious yet again.
While she was drifting into unconsciousness, Corporal Clear Night, the unfortunate guard on the bottom, moaned before his friend mumbled, "Right there, perfect." Which resulted in Clear Night screaming.
A few hours later, Luna stood in the entrance hall of the Canterlot Royal School of Medicine and looked down at the stallion in front of her. "Three creatures, obviously up to no good, knocked on the door, you let them in, help them steal several pints of blood, and then you didn't bother telling the guards outside what happened despite hearing the commotion outside. I don't know if you are either helping them or are really thick, do you know which way I'm leaning?"
Looking up at the intimidating princess in front of him, Scruffy grunted before replying, "The little 'un had a condition and needed help. Besides, the big 'un would've just torn the place apart if I didn't help 'em. I helped them because they came here for help, a place to learn the intra-kit-cees of the pony body and heal the sick." The janitor replied without any emotion. The angry princess in front of him took a few deep breaths before she replied.
"While what you did could be ignored because of them threatening you, your lack of remorse leaves me wondering."
"They didn't threaten me, she merely said that the big 'un would tear the place apart looking for the blood, I decided that helping them would keep this place clean. If I didn't help them, they would've made a mess that I would have to clean up later." Scruffy said as the door opened.
"Excuse me, are you still looking for a janitor's assistant?" A pegasus mare said as she walked in, "Oh, princess Luna, it's a pleasure to meet you" she said as she bowed.
"Yep, what's your name, miss?" Scruffy asked the mare.
"Clean Sweep." Luna paused as she heard the mare's name.
"Don't you work for our insufferable nephew Blueblood?"
"Not anymore, it just became too much." She replied with a small smile.
"Well then, I hope you get the job miss Sweep." Luna thanked Scruffy for his time and walked outside to look up at the night sky, day sky, night sky. "Tia, whatever is going on is starting to test my patience, so for your sake if not my own, than your student better stop him."
As soon as she finished, she smiled before looking up at the moon,.. Which was immediately replaced by a pink cloud. "Buck," was the last thing she said before being covered in chocolate rain.
---~~~---Theresa's PoV---~~~---
After our escape from the courtyard, we had to be careful. It seems like the guards were now aware of us, hopefully Lumen kept some of them busy. We were just a few blocks from the railway station when a squad of familiar guards ran by. Naturally, we hid in an alley and waited them out.
After we were sure we were safe, we continued to the Canterlot station, though we did stop when we heard something annoying.
"No no no! The mane care products go on the right, and the tail care products go on the left. Honestly, even a commoner like you can figure this out." A annoying voice came from a window above us. Looking up, I smiled before turning to my uncle.
"Prince Blueblood of Equestria, you wanna zap him?" I asked.
"*Nah, I think the africanized honey bees could use some exercise.*" Lifting both of his arms, I watch my uncle charge up his plasmids before releasing a swarm of angry killer bees that headed straight for the window. Seconds after they entered, we heard screams which were followed by a pegasus mare jumping out of the window.
Upon looking down, she gasped. Admittedly, the sight of a big daddy rolling around laughing and a little sister on her knees giggling would be shocking. After a moment, she flew down and joining in on the laughter before the swarm returned to Mister Cee's arms.
"Clean Sweep! Get the lotion!" Looking up, I burst out laughing at the bee sting covered white unicorn staring down at the three of us.
"Whats red, white, blue and plays with lotion? Prince Blueblood after a night of denial!" Clean Sweep called up to the fuming prince, which made him slam the window shut as we all started laughing again. After a moment, she calmed down enough to yell, "I quit!"
A few minutes later, we said goodbye and walked away. We paused halfway down the block for a moment to observe a strange meteor shower. Watching the strange sight for a moment and just enjoying our freedom, we almost didn't notice the stuff that fell, literally, on our heads.
"What the? Ow!" I got hit in the face with some strange golden thing and Mister Cee got hit with some other junk, earning a small amount of annoyed groans.
"*You okay?*" He asked, nodding my head, I looked around for the shiny, golden thing and found nothing that said, 'I hit you in the face'. Shrugging it off, I looked over and watched my uncle look through the stuff. One of the things was a small ball, orb feels better through, silver and translucent with a weird mask-like image in it. The other was a square-ish plus sign game boy looking thing with a small screen and three buttons on it and a small antenna coming out of the upper left un-corner.
"*More tokens? You think this one'll be sane?*" Shaking his helmet, and probably head, he continued, "*One, we meet the daughter of discord minutes after we were freed, two, we met... Whatever Reference is, why do I get the feeling that we're going to run into a Sweet Tooth soon.*"
Holding back a smile at the thought, I looked over the Orb, "Did it say anything?" I asked, wondering where the little speech went as I watch him try to pick it up.
"*Nada. If I wasn't just informed of this I might've had some thoughts, but I feel like a newb, that's-*" I interrupted him after a few failed attempts at picking it up.
"I know which N00B you were talking about, but the questions are, 'how does this work?' and, 'why doesn't this thing move?'" I asked.
"*Dunno. Leave it, we can figure this out when we’re in the clear. Besides, if we can't pick it up, what hope does the princesses have?*"
I shift my hypo needle to my left hand and look over the orb before picking up the game boy looking thing. Adding the copyright infringement to my blood bag, we looked around for the golden token, after five minutes of searching, we blew it off.
Looking at the collection of trains, I had to reel in my inner eight year old. Three trains and all of them were as girly and sweet as the Friendship express. I started walking towards the Harmonic Special, which resembled a musical on rails. An organ pipe for a whistle, the trim was a bunch of musical notes, which I lack the name of, the walls were painted to resemble sheet music with some grand operatic looking stuff written on it.
"*One of these days, my mind is going to retire to a grey, immemorial world and try to forget everything that has ever happened here. Unsuccessfully, I might add.*"
Looking back, I watch as he face palmed, port face, port palm? Something. Recollecting himself, he walked over to the front and looked around the engine. Walking over, I looked inside and groaned.
"Of course, anything involving trains and you're lost, but find a plane and you're at home, huh?" Watching him nod, I continued, "So, where do we find the manual?"
Looking around, he picked me up, placed me in the cabin with the bag-o-blood and walked off. Setting my hypo needle down, I waited and a few moments later he returned with a struggling earth pony in his arms, one gloved hand clamped over the pony's mouth. Dropping the pony, I walked over and looked him over, blue coat, red mane and a set of rails for a cutie mark and dressed as a conductor. Poking him a few times, he opened his eyes and stared.
"Okay, you’ve got two choices, one, you can show us how to work this thing," I said as I jerked a thumb at the engine behind me, "or you can watch my uncle try his best and likely blow it up. What do you want to do?" I asked.
Looking behind me, the stallion gasps, "That's an untested, experimental design, and it’s supposed to be tested tomorrow. It's my baby. Please, take any other engine, just don't take this one." Looking at him, I try to think of a response when my uncle groans something and I translated for him.
"What makes this one so special?" I asked. Looking at me, he pointed at it and started rattling off tech specs. Though he lost me a few times, I manage to catch something I did recognize.
"-and it runs on a new liquid fuel the minotaurs have developed, called diesel, and I was the first to bring its potential to the-" Clamping a huge hand on his mouth, Mister Cee looked at me.
"*Diesel. Your dad's truck was diesel. He named your first dog Diesel. You thinking what I'm thinking?*" He asked. Smiling, I nodded before turning back to the pony. "Diesel is a good choice for fuel, I'm sure you know that, now," Clapping my hands together, I looked back at the train, "I'm sure that someday, the world over will be using your designs, but for today, today we're going for a test-ride, and you're coming with us." After I said that, the pony mumbled something that didn't make it past Mister Cee's gloves. Continuing, "If you don't want to be the first to drive this bad boy, than fine. Just don't blame us if it blows up." Turning away, I start playing with levers and buttons, adding, “If nothing else, it’ll make a very nice… boom.”
"Okay, as long as he doesn't break anything, than I'll drive it for you." Dropping him, I watch as my uncle goes through the motions for a Pinkie Promise before climbing in and sitting down in a corner. Looking back at the stallion, I asked him for his name.
"Enge N, not engine, Enge N." Nodding, I watch him climb in and start pulling levers and flipping switches, after a moment the train lurched forward and started moving. "You’re lucky the bosses wanted her tested immediately, otherwise she'd have no fuel and the tracks would be set to another position." He said after a moment. Leaning back, I decided to take a nap.
---~~~---Mister Cee---~~~---
After we got off of Mount Canter, I watch Enge N run the train, mumbling about fuel lines and oil pressure for a while before he turned to me and asked, "What did she mean?"
Looking over and deciding against waking her, I mimed out writing something and to my surprise, he understood. Giving me a pencil and a notebook, I nodded before I started writing.
*I assume you mean the part about diesel and worldwide, right?* Showing him the note, he nodded before I continued writing, not an easy task with my bulky plasmid gloves, *Imagine a world, full of creatures like us, and none of them have magic. So, they started building, trains like this that can go five times as fast, ones that can tow more cars than three of these and with twice the weight, ships that can survive the angriest seas and planes that can fly faster than the fastest pegasus for hours without tiring, or even landing for fuel because of another plane giving the first plane fuel in flight.All of this without magic, hell, possibly because of not having magic, is possible. Most of them using a much more refined version of diesel.* Handing the note book back to him, I watched as he dropped his jaw and left it there.
"So, I didn't invent this." He asked, waving a hoof behind him at the engine. "Somepony, no, someone did all of this first?" Gesturing for the notebook, I wrote a reply.
*No, you are the first pony to invent the diesel engine, and yes/no. Yes, someone in a different universe did it first, but someone always come first. Here and now, you're the one who made this, my world, more than likely, wasn't the first world to make diesel a fuel source.*
Handing it back to him and waiting for a sad, 'woe is me' speech, I was surprised that instead of being crushed like I thought, he nodded and looked back at me with a determined expression and asked, "What else can you tell me?"
---~~~--- A few hours later---~~~---
*Whereas diesel engines are built tougher and run on a rougher fuel source, making them better for freight trains because of their reliability and sheer strength that you'd lose by refining the fuel and building lighter engines, especially when you're talking about moving freight.*
"True, when I was designing Harmonic here, I wanted her to be tougher than shoe nails."
*Shoe nails?* Nodding his head, he replied,
"Well, nopony likes it when their shoe gets thrown, so shoe nails are made tougher than most other kinds of nails. How about those steamboats you drew?" He asked, chuckling, I wrote out a reply.
*Until you refine the ship's designs themselves, you're gonna have to keep them in the calmer rivers or close to shore.*
"Hmm, so the wide base is for balance and the paddles on the side are for turning in one place without a tiller, together, they make an impressive ship with plenty of storage and rooms for clients. Is there someway to have that transferred over to carts?" I'll admit, this guy is inquisitive.
*They're called tanks, think of those paddles I drew, flatten them into an oval shape and make them act like links in a chain. They'll allow you to go over any terrain problem, three feet wide holes, fallen trees, small rivers provided there's enough power behind them.*
Reading it over, he smiled before continuing our conversation, "So diesel will be the workpony of liquid fuel, whereas further refined diesel will be the faster, but weaker, making it better for use in machines where RPM's are more important than pony power." Nodding again, I shook my hand to get the feeling back before looking towards the small settlement we were approaching.
Reaching over, I shook Theresa awake as the Harmonic Express slowed down.
Theresa's dream PoV
It was a beautiful day; the temperature was a comfortable eighty degrees, what clouds there were in the sky were few and far between, the sky itself a deep blue and the screams of other children playing made a young and youthful symphony.
My uncle and I were at the local park, him sitting at the table under the pavilion and I playing in the sand. It was the kind of day in which nothing could go wrong, but I looked at my hands and knew the truth. No matter how much I try, I cannot change how this goes, I was in a nightmare.
My uncle taught me how to lucid dream after this day, despite my hardest attempts, I could never break this nightmare once it starts... so I stood up, told Charlie I was going to use the restroom and walked the short distance.
The pavilion was directly in front of the restrooms, a mere thirty feet away, so I wasn't afraid. After I washed my hands, I walked out. Before I made it five feet, a pair of hands wrapped around my waist and picked me up. Screaming, I watch Charlie jump up and charge, his expression promising severe pain. I was thrown into the back of a van, looking at the doors, I watch them close.
Right on the guy's neck. Charlie slammed the door on him twice more before yanking him to the ground and stomping his face. I crawl forward as my uncle wraps a hand around the guy's throat, his other hand making a fist before slamming into the attempted kidnappers nose.
The crack of the guy's nose as it breaks. The blood pouring out. The furious expression on Charlie's face as he pulls back and attempts to smashed the unconscious man's cartilage into his brain. The people attempting to pull him off, one of which receiving an elbow to the ribs as Charlie breaks free and pounces.
Me screaming as a dark blur flies past and attempts to stop him. While that part was new, it doesn't even slow Charlie down and he flies through it and continues attacking the unconscious man. The people pulling Charlie off, followed by me running over and hugging him. Instantly calm as he says soothing words in an attempt to calm me down as well, the people forming a line between us and the kidnapper as Charlie sits up and awaits the police, him calling my parents, him begging the cops to wait until my mom can pick me up. Him, sitting in the back of a cop car as my dad, mom and sisters hug me.
The blue blur, in a shape that resembles a familiar princess, was sitting next to us as we watched the cop car pull away. After this point, I reclaim control over my dreams...
New friends, new powers and impossible diets; dafuq? How can something eat rules and laws?
Luna was confused by what she just witnessed, a less pale version of Feast with a different outfit was standing beside her. After what she saw, Luna was really hoping to have a nice conversation with-
"Hi."
"Ahhhh!"
Looking back at the little monster beside her, Luna gasped. Feast was standing right where the 'normal' version of her was moments before.
"Did I startle you? Sorry about that. You know, this isn't really the best place to talk, allow me to fix that." After she said that, the landscape began to change. The sky and playground gave way to a moderately sized room with white walls, no doors or windows and several pieces of furniture.
"How?" Luna asked, confusion filling her tone, "How did you do that? Only I can affect dreams."
"Really, ponies don't know about lucid dreaming despite having a princess who does it all of the time? Well, first I acknowledged I was dreaming, than I felt like having our conversation here. Simple." Feast answered while walking over to a corner of the room that resembled a small kitchen.
"Tea? It's only polite considering we robbed you."
"...Yes, but if I may ask, why are we here? And who was that?" Luna asked while she walked cautiously towards the kitchen where Feast was putting a kettle on to boil.
"Hmm, well to put it simply, this is the room we made while imprisoned for a thousand years, minus the window. That guy you saw, six feet tall, thin body but large forearms and looks like he could box with a minotaur, that was my uncle, you can call him Mister Cee if you like. Definitely better than Beast." Feast answered, walking past Luna towards a large black mirror.
"That was Beast! But-"
"But nothing." Feast interrupted, "Do you think I always had these glowing eyes, or always had skin so pale? No. Now, would you like to know my name, or would you rather call me Feast."
Pausing a moment, Luna gave a kind smile, "That would be nice, considering the last we met, you had me proclaim I was retarded." Luna said as Feast laughed.
"Heheh, sorry. If I said it, Mister Cee would've hit that guy."
"Somehow, I feel that would have been my prefered choice." Luna frowned, "That Shoryuken thing hurt, and the destruction of my memory room destroyed countless mementos of a life long lost."
"Yeah, sorry about that, Mister Cee kinda got carried away. Anyway, my name is Theresa, nice to meet you and not start screaming bloody murder." Feast, or as she introduced herself as, Theresa, said. Turning around from the mirror, Theresa looked Luna up and down for a minute straight before continuing, "You know, Mister Cee never attacked without reason. Sure, we were both unthinking monsters, but he only ever fought to protect me and him."
"While that may have been the case, you both committed many crimes-"
"Oh I'm sorry, but we were kinda brainwashed mindless automatons!" Taking several deep breaths, Theresa continued, "You think that Nightmare Moon stunt hurt? Try waking up in blank room with your only family in the world and a crazed god of chaos, memories of drinking warm blood making you sick to your stomach while your uncle tries to keep himself together in order to keep you together."
Theresa paused, wiping small tears running down her face, "You woke up after the Nightmare, we had to deal with ours for a thousand years and no matter how many times we tell each other we weren't in control of ourselves, that our bodies were doing it, that we weren't responsible for our actions because we weren't choosing, we still had to live with the guilt. You've been looking back over your actions as Nightmare Moon for over a year now, we've been doing that for a thousand years!"
Turning around, Theresa picked up a small, silver rectangle and pressed something on it, filling the black mirror with lights and colours. Luna was floored, everything the monster, no... the child, in front of her said was truthful and honest. She may be a thousand years old, but she was still young physically. Looking at the mirror, Luna watched as it showed a picture of Mister Cee wearing his armour standing next to Theresa, his porthole light was a colour she hadn't even knew was possible, green, and a makeup covered Theresa was wearing a pair of yellow tinted sunglasses. A smile on her face as she stood next to the hulking leviathan, several others like her standing around them smiling while a sea of others, wearing many colourful dresses and costumes like them, formed the backdrop.
"This was the last day Mister Cee and I had with ourselves as ourselves. After that day, we woke up somewhere in Equestria, me believing he was my daddy and him believing the same. Our memories were wiped, like we never existed before that moment. I needed to consume magic via drinking blood, so we walked around. Came upon a caravan that was under attack by bandits, we waited until the bandits won and we went in. They were freaking out, not everyday a seven foot tall biped shows up with two drills for hands, even more so when a little girl starts stabbing a needle into one of the corpses and then drinks their blood." Theresa gagged at that, the thought of drinking blood clearly disgusting her, though she seemed to have composed herself.
A shrill whistle pierced the air before Theresa walked over to the kettle and continued making the tea. Luna walked over and watched as a table with a cushion and a chair were summoned from thin air. Sitting down, Luna continued the conversation, "You said that your memories were erased, how did you get them back?"
Smiling, Theresa replied, "Well, Discord may be many things, but he isn't a totally lost cause. He doesn't care for neat little rows but he does enjoy company and conversation. So he took the time to go through our minds and unlock our memories, on a serious note, do you know what a thousand years talking with him is like? Pretty amusing for the first hundred years, surprisingly repetitive after that."
'Discord? How did they know he didn't-'
"Before you assume he implanted something in us, let me ask you something." Theresa guessing, and interrupting, Luna's thoughts, "Did Mister Cee destroy Canterlot on our way out? Was anypony rendered into an unrecognizable mess or a drained corpse? I won't say that Discord's the good guy, but he isn't a murderer, even by proxy. He's more like an excitable child, running around messing things up for other people only ever thinking of himself or his friends."
Sitting down at the table, Theresa poured the tea into two cups that were also summoned from nothing. Pushing one of them over to her, Luna thanked her before asking her another question, "What was your uncle like before he became... whatever he is now?"
Taking a sip of her tea, Theresa smiled as she answered, "He's pretty much the same as he was before; he's still as tough as nails with a strong sense of right and wrong, takes high risks for high payouts, selfless and protective for his friends and family, won't hesitate when it comes to blows and loves Krav Maga and parkour. He has a personal motto; it's better to be prepared for a losing fight, than to have a easy win."
'So, he'll fight fiercely for his loved ones, won't surrender or kill ponies without a very good reason and knows somethings called crawl magah and par core, whatever those are.' Luna thought before searching through her mind for one question, one question that'll end the conversation, for better or worse.
"What are you two going to do?"
"Survive, avoid you, your sister, the element bearers, and ponies in general. Eventually, we'd get home." Shrugging, Theresa took a sip of her tea before continuing, "Personally, I'd like it if one day we all could be friends, but today, today we're getting away from all of you and plan on enjoying the freedom which has been denied to us since we got here. To put it bluntly, neither my uncle or I trust any of you with our lives so soon after we got them back."
Leaning back in her chair, Theresa smiled as the scenery started fading, the dream and conversation coming to an end. "Just know this Luna, if he has to, Mister Cee will take on entire armies for me. Touch me and pay, god only knows how much the last guy who tried to take me away suffered."
With that, Luna was ejected from the dream and started casting the exit spell needed to bring her back to the waking world, unaware of Theresa smiling as she said, "I just had a conversation with Princess Luna, even after a thousand years, that's still cool." Followed by the most girly fangirl squee ever. Well, she does have pre-pubescent vocal cords.
While Theresa was fangirl squee-ing, Luna was thinking, 'If you ignore the glowing yellow eyes, she's rather adorable. I wonder what hugging her would be like.'
---~~~---Theresa's PoV---~~~---
When I woke up, I decided not to tell Charlie about my conversation with Luna. After we waved goodbye to Enge N, I tried to shake the feeling that I knew that name from somewhere. Unsuccessfully. But Charlie did.
"*Crash Bandicoot! That was the pony version of Dr. N Gin, get it? Engine, Enge N, N Gin, they're all the same.*" He groaned, a smile likely under his helmet due to solving the puzzle. I merely smiled, it's nice knowing he's happy.
While we were walking away from Ponyville on the not-yet-soap road, passing by the gate to Sweet Apple Acres, I heard a familiar sound; someone clearing their throat. Turning around slowly, I found myself looking at Granny Smith with her M1 combat helmet on her head. Looking at the, possibly senile, grandmother, I open my mouth to try and talk her out of doing something stupid when she spoke.
"Now what have ah found, hmm. A minotaur an' his little 'un, are you two here ta cause trouble? We got enough of that happening right now in case ya haven't noticed. "
Looking around the orchard, I noticed the lack of any visible apples. Nodding my head, I turned back to Granny Smith, "Yeah, your apples are all gone." I replied.
"Not gone, they just wandered off, grew legs an' everything." She replied, "The cows have all turned red an' are freaking out, the corn rows have turned into weird circles an' other fancy gee-om-mitt-tree shapes an' the chickens have been laying ostrich eggs!" She said while waving a hoof around before she adopted a serious expression. "Say, you look like you can handle strange happenings, mind helping an old mare out?"
"*What do you think? This is way out of our league but I rather not piss off an old lady, crazy or not.*" Charlie asked, his gaze not wavering from Granny Smith.
"Sure, we'll see what we can do." I assured her.
"Mighty fine of ya, when you come back, I'll give y'all something real neato." She said before heading back towards the farm.
Turning back to Ponyville, we walked the short distance to the chaos capital of Equuis, talking while we walked.
"*So what, we go in, ask Discord to leave the farm alone and hope for the best?*" My uncle asked, "*Because that's not gonna happen.*"
"Well, we can at least try. What's the worst that can happen?" I replied before looking up and watching as my uncle tick off his fingers.
"*He can turn us back to what he found us as, he drives one or both of us crazy, he can lock us in cotton candy statues or my personal favorite, laugh at our request.*"
"Okay, well, can you turn you back on someone in need? Are you just gonna give up on all of your morals?" I asked, "Sure, this all will go away when Discord gets turned to stone but does she know that?"
After a short walk, discussing the 'improvements' Discord made, we approached the center of the chaotic town, buildings floating around and the sky switching between sunshine and nighttime every few minutes, the roads were still dirt and weren't coloured in that checkerboard pattern yet, so we still had time before the elements show up. Discord was sitting in a Lay-Z-Boy, backwards, upside down and spinning in place.
"Ah, my favorite statue buddies, how are you finding your freedom?"
"Fine," I answered, "feels great to stretch again."
"Oh, I know the feeling," after he said that, we watched him form a pretzel shape while his joints popped like machine gun fire. "So, what can I do for you two?"
"*A couple of things; could you explain me and Theresa's condition, help us with what we should do with three months of Anam collection and even the odds against tougher opponents with a new combat Tonic and some chaos powers.*" Charlie explained, Discord agreed and spent several minutes just staring at us. The creepy thing about it was watching him stay still, creepy until the cardboard cutout fell down and revealed him napping. "*HEY!*"
He jumped awake before looking over at us, "Okay, first off, you both are still pair bonded, three days away from you and Charlie will start going rampant, if not followed by than straight to entering a coma then death. Believe me, death is a better alternative to what you'll experience in your grief filled insanity. You, Theresa, will have a delayed reaction, after a few days, you'll get easier to scare, after six days you'll start behaving more like a Little Sister should. Anything more than a week and a half and you'll start losing your memories, enter a deep depression and mourn the death of your Big Daddy, it'll be as if he was never your uncle. Through there is hope..." He trailed off.
"*What is it?*" Charlie asked.
"Through you both have absorbed some magic while you were terrorizing Equestria for three months as well as during your incarceration, you Theresa, have the single most evolution capable creature I've ever seen. It couldn't get substance from its normal meals, so it evolved to consume something incredible." Discord smiled as he looked over us, "It literally eats the rules of magic. I can't even describe how crazy that is!"
'If Discord can't describe how crazy, it must be impossibly crazy.' I thought to myself.
"*...What?! How did that happen?*" Charlie roared.
"Well, it couldn't get anything to eat for three days, but found itself in a world with an incredible amount of energy just sitting there, Adam slugs are more predator than scavenger, and when one found itself in Equestria inside of Theresa, it found a way to survive on something with no natural predators. The concept of magic and it's restrictions and rules!" He chuckled as he looked over us, "You have been consuming the magic in pony blood and processing it into raw magic as a byproduct, Anam for lack of a better term, which is highly volatile and dangerous. I may use chaotic magic, but pure magic makes that look tame. It is literally a force of creation, if there's anywhere to put your hope, then that'll be it."
"So I just learn magic and I'll be able to heal us?" I asked, "Sounds dangerous."
"No and yes. You see, you won't be able to use magic yet because of your nature as a Gatherer, but Charlie can. He'll need to practice for a while, pure magic doesn't like being bound to someone's desires and will do anything it can to twist your intents to its purposes. It can crumble magical defences and artifacts, burn the rules off and allow you to drain ponies and other things of their magic. Unless someone knows what they're looking for, a mass of magic with no signature, then you'll be unnoticed by magic sensitive creatures. Anam's lethal, it'll kill you as soon as you miss one loophole, I'm not one for taking the safe road, but I'll tell you this," He paused to put on the most serious expression I've ever see him with. "Be careful, the amount of unaligned magic in Theresa could do almost anything, it could rip the planet in half, spin the remains around one hundred and eighty degrees and play patty cake with what's left, all because you felt like making a mud pie. The smallest mistake can grant it the right to greatly misinterpret your intent and cause grievous harm." I shuddered at his description while Charlie asked him what he meant by both of us passively absorbing magic.
"Have your plasmids been acting differently, Charlie?" He replied.
"*What? As far as I can tell they've been acting pretty much like the game, except...*" Charlie trailed off.
"Yes?"
"*...my insect swarm Plasmid, I used two hands for it, but it only attacked one pony, ignored the other pony in the room and didn't even kill the target.*" He finished.
"Your Plasmids, and possibly Tonics, are evolving, adapting to deal with magic, as I've said, Adam is evolution given form. A thousand years on a shelf just absorbing magic is a good way to change something. I guessing you wanted only one pony to be targeted and didn't want to kill him, so you subconsciously altered what you wanted the Plasmid to do. If you use normal Plasmids, than they'll use EVE, if you alter what they do, they'll use a small bit of Anam as well to fuel your modified Plasmid. Your Plasmids and Tonics act like routes, channels if you will, for Anam to go, guiding it a lot safer than using only Anam, giving it a strict set of rules and instructions, no set of instructions made by anyone in several universes can ever come close to the precision that DNA has just for hair colour. That is how you'll use it for the most part. Anywho, besides getting my powers, you want a combat Tonic and a chaos Plasmid as well. Very well, just make sure Sun Butt gets it good."
Snapping his fingers, a Plasmid syringe and a Tonic jar appeared on the ground. Picking them up, I asked, "What are they?"
"The Plasmid is called Organized Chaos, it'll give you a quarter of my chaotic powers and is fueled by the unaligned magic in your body, allowing you to make cotton candy clouds, candy cane trees, anything food related really and it'll play music! It'll also allow you to dispel chaotic constructs, creations or effects, just incase you run into a less than friendly version of me. It'll get five percent more powerful, versatile and efficient the more you prank any Celestia, ten percent for messing with ours. It'll even level up at fifty, seventy five and one hundred percent, no spoilers as to what though." Nodding my head, I looked over the Tonic, it had a picture of a label of a arrow with speed lines pointing at a big rock.
"What's the Tonic?"
"That is a little something I came up with one day and implanted in the mind of some scientists, it's called, The Unstoppable Force meets an Immovable Object Tonic or UFIO. To put it simply, Charlie will be able to bulldoze through physical defenses once he gets up to speed or take the strongest physical attacks without missing a step after staying in one spot for a while. He'll be a runaway freight train with the unflinching aspects of a bunker."
"*...Damn...*"
"...Damn..."
"Yeah I know, I'm too good sometimes." He rubbed his claws on his chest before putting them back on. "Now, back to you, Theresa. You'll need to consume blood, at least two pints a day to feed that little guy. As to the raw magical build-up, Charlie is gonna need to absorb that, we'll do this now so that you don't have to worry about going Ka-Blammy!" He paused to throw his arms out while a pink cloud behind him blew up, a forced cheerful smile on his face, after that he continued. "Be warned, the magic you absorb will be raw, pure, unaligned magic that even alicorns can't use easily. Adam rewrites your genetic code, but Anam... Anam is the ink needed to write your very will unto the worldhere, and your intent is your pen, be careful with what you want to happen when you focus it."
He paused for a second to put on a serious expression, "Don't try and heal yourselves with it until you get more familiar with it, small stuff until you get used to its interruption of your intents. I never supported playing it safe, but pure, raw magic is volatile, it'll paint a big bullseye on you that anyone would fight for. I may have said the pen is mightier than the sword, but you... you have the finest pen, ink and this beautiful, chaotic world is your stationary."
Nodding our heads, we waited for a few seconds before he continued. "Now Charlie, place your hand on Theresa's head and focus on drawing something out of her head. Imagine pulling a liquid from a container like your arm is a straw and your intent is the force."
"Is it gonna hurt?" I asked, "I figure we can't leave it in but if it's gonna hurt I would like to know beforehand."
"I don't know." He replied, a rare expression on his face, one he didn't put on but changed normally to, one of concern.
Feeling a massive, gloved hand on my head, I heard my uncle say, "*You are your daddy's daughter, and I know for a fact he didn't raise a crybaby, but I won't hold it against you if you cry... too much.*"
Smiling, I replied, "Coming from the drug runner in tin can armour, that's rich." As I closed my eyes, I had a thought, I wondered what would happen if he had to choose between the two of us, what would happen to him? Knowing him, he'd heal me without a second of self thought. Even at the cost of his life... but could I live with the cost?
A few moments later, a... indescribable feeling came over me. If anything, I guess that it would be like donating blood, only with a strange energy I didn't even know I had. I didn't feel weak, if anything, I felt like I just ate Thanksgiving dinner only for the sensation of being full just vanishing, while not even realizing I was stuffed.
Charlie groaned, saying nothing as the Anam flowed from me to him. I didn't feel any pain, just a draining sensation and a desire to rip open one of the blood packs and chug it. Gross. After we were finished, Discord checked up on us.
"That's a lot of magic, pegasus, unicorn and earth pony all blended together. How does it normally taste?" He asked while looking up my nose with a otoscope.
"Well," I shrugged, "pegasi taste like red hots, spicy. Unicorns are kinda like sour balls and earth ponies are rather minty, yet sweet, you know. Mixed together, it would probably taste kinda like a fruitcake made with jalapenos, lemons and winterfresh gum."
"*I didn't taste anything, I feel stronger, like stronger than normal, but that feeling it gave me, it was like my first time getting buzzed off of beer, it made me want more. Disturbing.*" Shaking his head, Charlie scratched his hand, unaware of his dive suit in the way.
"Interesting, I wonder what other effects Anam is giving you? Oh well, now, off with you two, I need to prepare my victory speech." Even Discord couldn't keep an upbeat attitude when he said that, something seemed off with him. Obviously.
"Hey, strike a better pose than your cartoon cousin, kay?" I suggested, "Wouldn't want Sun Butt to order an entire victory cake again, would we?"
We laughed as he reappeared back on his Lay-Z-Boy throne, "Good point, I'll pick a good one. What was that chaotic kook thinking, cowering like a rabbit."
After we'd finished laughing, Charlie had hooked the Tonic in and drained it, just before he stabbed himself with the needle, Charlie looked up at Discord, "*This Plasmid isn't gonna turn me into a draconequus, is it?*"
"Nonono, but it might make you crave purple for a while." He warned while shaking his arms, then reattaching them.
Shaking his helmet, Charlie prepared the needle, tapping the air bubbles out first. "*One for the killer bees, two for the sonic boom, three to make a icy bitch, four to cook her cold, blackened heart!*"
Plunging the needle in, Charlie injected the chaos Plasmid and roared. It seemed that chaos powers hurt more than normal Adam, yet once he stopped panting, he looked at me and groaned, "*Never again, no matter how great that felt, I'm never injecting chaos again.*" His Plasmid gloves flashed white and when we looked at his right glove there was a smiling Discord face in a small circle, one of six arranged in another circle around a blue orb shape. On his left was the same blue orb with six empty circles around it. Under both of them were another six circles in a simple rectangle formation with the one on his right having the Unstoppable Force meets an Immovable Object Tonic's symbol.
"Strange. Maybe that is how your new magic is represented? It's definitely a nice likeness." Discord smirked at the image of himself, having come down from his Lazy Boy throne again. Waving him off, we headed towards Sweet Apple Acres to de-Discord the place.
After we cleared up the farm, most of it was unexciting other than Charlie convincing the apples to follow us back to the barn by using the power of Flo Rida, (yes I'm serious about him using Flo Rida, guess what song he picked), Granny Smith asked us to go pick up Applebloom and the Crusaders from school. I didn't want to do it, but Charlie felt like I should apologize for what happened back in Canterlot.
I told him only if he can get in the building without destroying a wall. Apparently, Anam fueled chaos powers are not the way to make a new entryway. "The heck?! You made the whole wall into a Japanese paper wall!? Made of swiss cheese!" I shouted while freaking out.
"*...Damn. Well, I can get in-*"
"How?! How can you possibly get in here without tearing the wall into cheesy toilet paper? You know what, wait here. I think we traumatized Cheerilee. Again! Just, go practice your chaos powers over there." Pointing a finger at the playground, I walked over to the schoolhouse. The whole front wall was rather fitting considering the chaos in the air, the area around the schoolhouse apparently being a safe zone. The same went for the hospital and, except for Discord's little guard drop, the Canterlot school of medicine now that I think about it.
Opening the American sliced cheese door, I was met by the screams of almost three dozen foals and one panicking teacher. That sound will haunt me and my ears for the rest of my life. After a few seconds, Cheerilee stopped screaming long enough for me to say something.
"Excuse me, can I have everybody's attention, I have a announcement!" I yelled over the screams. Looking over at Cheerilee, I grabbed a ruler and banged it on the desk a few times. When that failed, I went drastic.
*Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!*
Here's a fun fact, introducing the nails on chalkboard screech to ponies is a insta-kill to their focus. They all immediately stopped screaming and clamped their hooves over their ears. It was glorious. And petty.
After I stopped, I looked at the classroom, it was much bigger than DT's cute-ceañera episode made it out to be. "Hello, my name is Theresa and I'm here to apologize for my actions back in Canterlot. I'm sorry I cursed so much... and scared some of you... and demanded some of you give me your blood. I've been standing in the same place for a little over a thousand years and kinda got stir-crazy but that's no excuse for what I did. If you can find it in your hearts to forgive me then thank you and if you don't then I'll understand." As I finished, Charlie groaned something, which immediately sent Cheerilee to hiding under her desk.
"*Hey Theresa, you done? You gotta see what I did to the playground, it's fucking hilarious.*" He called from beyond the cheese wall.
"If he broke something, I'm gonna carve Celestia's cutie mark into the back of his helmet." I grumbled as I headed outside. Once I got outside, I was met with a scene straight out of a kids dream.
Looking around the playground, I took in the ridiculous sight; he turned the swing set into candy canes, Twizzlers and chocolate bar pips, worse of all is how it all looked functional. The eagles nest, not to be confused for a jungle gym, was either made of a half of a gumball, half of a sour ball or half of a jawbreaker. The slides were made of fruit roll-ups with the ladders were made of those white and chalky candy sticks. The play fort was constructed out of chocolate in a manner that you could only get if you used a 3D printer with cookie roofs and flooring. The seesaws were made of granola bars and gum drops. The sandbox was filled with sugar and made from chocolate bars.
Meanwhile, a mare by the name of Colgate cleared her personal schedule on a whim and experienced a desire to brush her teeth for no reason at all. Walking back inside, I was, thankfully, met without the screams. I walked over to Cheerilee and cornered her, "I think we should take this outside, come on." I said.
Turning around before she could respond, I walked back outside and waited for her to compose herself, or write up a Last Will and Testament. When she came outside, she immediately froze up at the sight of my uncle standing a few feet away.
Which was only broken by watching him tap on the sugary swing set's sweet striped supports.
"*I have no idea if this'll stand the test of time, or the test of young mouths, but it should hold up alright till Discord gets stoned. Whether it'll be him in a statue or getting the munchies is my question.*"
"Hopefully it'll last for a few hours after Cheerilee releases them for the day. But that's not important, Cheerilee, we need to talk." I replied, Cheerilee wisely keeping her distance as she observed the new playground.
"Wait, what?!" She said, her head spinning so fast I thought she'd broke it. "What do you mean talk?" She asked, fearfully stepping behind the slide on the play fort she was inspecting.
"*I want you to tell us why you're so scared of us, besides the obvious reasons of course.*" Charlie groaned.
"What he said."
"...um, what did he say?" She replied, followed by my face making a great impression with my hand.
"Why are you so scared of us? I admit there's probably plenty of good reasons but you have one in particular. We expected outright fear from most ponies and have gotten pretty much what we expected but you went full on paralysed when it's just me. Why?" I asked.
She looked from me to Charlie a few times before taking a deep breath, "My dad told me about you two and his twelve times great grandfather, he barely got out of there alive."
Corporal Cheerful's Journal
The ambush almost succeeded, until that little demon screamed. She immediately ran from the Sergeant when he tried to catch her, running behind her 'daddy' and screaming about baddies trying to take her away. The monster impaled our Sergeant on one of his odd, spinning limbs and threw his desecrated body at me. If it wasn't for that, I would've been killed. The Beast, for that was what it was, slaughtered my squad. I only survived because of the Sergeant's corpse pinning me to a tree, unable to join in the losing battle, I could only watch and listen as they were slaughtered mercilessly.
That and play dead when the beast and his 'daughter' walked up to me. I can still remember her words, she said 'I wasn't sleeping yet, but she didn't need to play with another angel while there were so many others.' Even as I write this at my old and weary age, I cannot for the life of me figure out what she meant, or why the Beast ignored me when I am, to this day, pretty sure it knew I survived.
A week later, the Princesses turned them both into stone, a few days after that I took my marefriend to the gardens and asked her to marry me. She agreed and we spent some quality time in front of the creature that nearly killed me. In the end, my victory was sweet and my revenge was petty.
Mister Cee's PoV
'Damn, so her ancestor named me and is the reason I had to give Theresa The Talk... fuck. Should I be upset she was even born?' I thought after she told us about her great great ridiculously many great's grandfather. While thoughts of beating a long dead horse fought with my morales, Theresa was busy explaining how we were under a geas and were forced to do those things back then. She even apologized for my candy-fying of the playground, translating what I did.
"So, other than the sugar filled sandbox, pretty much everything just has a candy coating?" Cheerilee asked, keeping an eye on me while she and Theresa talked.
"Yep, so all you have to do is order about three hundred pounds of sand and call Pinkie Pie over to help out." Theresa replied, I merely smiled from my position a few yards away, enough distance to give the poor mare some breathing room yet not so far away that I couldn't crush her skull in an instant if need be.
'Gentle thoughts, Charlie. Gentle thoughts.' I mentally told myself off, 'No need to fight at the moment, you know this, it's just the Adam in you. I really shouldn't have done all of those drugs at once, but how else was I going to get them out of there, it's not like there's a Gene Machine around here anyway.' When that still didn't wipe the mental imagine of her and her ancestor spinning on my drills away, I switched to a mantra. 'Cool as ice, clear as water. Clear as ice, cool as water.' I repeated the two simple yet effective lines over and over as they talked, I knew why the thoughts of violence were easily summoned at the slightest transgression or provocation. I had already ODed twice compared to what splicers went through.
Thankfully, the violent desires were banished by the simple words.
...so far.
Looking up, I noticed that Cheerilee was gone, Theresa looked excited and nervous; drumming her fingers on her needle and tapping her foot, clear signs of worry that I could read through my fist.
"*Where's the teacher?*" With a small jump at my question, she gave me a half hearted glare from her glowing, pale yellow eyes before replying.
"Preparing the class for the end of the school day, what with all of this chaos around no one is able to focus on school. The Crusaders will be going back to the farm with us and we'll find out just what Granny Smith is going to give us. I hope it's something tasty." Licking her lips, I turned towards the playground and took in my handy dandy candy work.
"*Maybe, I hope she has hard cider.*" Looking back at Theresa, I saw her with a shit eating grin, "*What? What did I say?*"
"Soooo~ you want a taste of Applejack?" She grinned at my unseen confused expression, she has a good enough imagination though. However it took me a moment to understand what she said and what she said.
"*Wait, they named a kids show character after hard liquor. ¿qué coño? Who named her that, a Canadian with a sense of humor?*" Giving a unseen shudder at the very idea, I smacked her, slipping into my old manner of speaking from about five years before we were displaced, back when I was a Corredor, "*Mi única familia es un pervertido. Get your mind outta the gutter, your dad raised a country girl, not some niño de mente sucia.*" Okay, that was a bit exaggerated, but pretty damn close. My written spanish may have been flunking, but my spanish cursing was always grade A.
"My ass is just just as Texan as yours so don't even try that switching tongues on me, besides you're the guy that taught me and a bunch of sentient statues how to rap and represent. Why can't I have a laugh at your expense?" She asked.
"*Yeah and it was fun having rap battles with the other statues every fifty years, too bad most of them didn't understand what rap is,*" Putting a hand to my helmet, I tried to get her to understand, "*I told you that you're not allowed to say stuff like that, you need to act your age.*"
"I'm a thousand and thirteen years old, why should I act like I'm still eight and that's the keyword, 'act' my age? Why should I be the sweet, innocent one while you get to be the rude, crude killing machine that only I can understand?"
Shaking my head, I responded with the adult classic, "*Because I said so, you look eight, your mental chemistry is of a eight year old and you're my niece, I remember all the fun we had back when I lived with Ryder, Codey, you and your sisters and I prefer that to being stoned against my will anyday. If you play the I'm only eight card, you might get a free pass but if Celestia hears you cursing up a storm my father would blush at, she's not going to see a cute little kid, she's just gonna see a hungry blood sucker.*" I sighed before preparing to continue my rant, but I was interrupted by Cheerilee releasing the class for the day.
"Come on, let's go meet the Crusaders, we'll continue this later." Grabbing my hand, she brought me over towards the class that was attacking my candy-fied playground.
A few minutes later, Theresa was quickly making some new friends on our way to the farm, the roads were soap but a quick chaos Plasmid later gave my boots a chaos dispelling effect so I could walk without busting my ass, pity I didn't think of doing that earlier but it broke the ice for Theresa and the Crusaders. They were ice skating the whole way there, or was it soap skating? Either way they were having fun and it brought a smile to my face.
When we made it to the farm, I thought we were being greeted by the family dog, until I looked over and saw a big, red and barking stallion running towards us.
"Big Mac! What's gotten into ya? No, down big brother, down!" Applebloom yelled as she was bowled over and immediately received a tongue to the face a few dozen times from her panting brother. I was tempted to leave him like that for a while, it seemed safer to have him acting like a smaller, pony version of Clifford but I threw that idea out after he started trying to sniff Theresa's butt.
"*That's just wrong, on sooooo many levels.*" I groaned, snapping my fingers through my gloves returned him to his senses... still muzzle deep in Theresa's dress. I watched as the realization hit him and smiled. He quickly backed out of his compromising position and bumped into my legs.
Looking up slowly, he was met with my unwavering glare hidden behind what I assume to be plexiglass or at least reinforced glass. Even though he couldn't see my unamused expression, he seemed to understand. Standing up, he walked away and stood next to his sister behind turning his gaze from me to Theresa.
"Sorry about that, ah truly am." Turning to Applebloom, he asked her, "Who, and what, are your friends Applebloom?"
Smiling at her brother, Applebloom gestured to Theresa and me and introduced us, "This here's Theresa, she's called ah human and ah Gatherer, that there is Mistah Cee, he's her uncle but he's ah Protector. Granny Smith sent 'em ta pick me up from school and Mistah Cee gave the playground a candy coating, he can make this chaotic stuff jus' up and disappear."
Looking up at me, he looked at the rather large patches of dirt from where I had stepped, the soap bubbles dissolving as they come within a unmarked barrier.
"Ah don't suppose you could do that trick one last time? Granny Smith is tap dancing over by the farmhouse." He asked, I responded with a nod of my helmeted head.
He led us to his grandmother, who was tap dancing like a boss. I couldn't even see her legs, they were just a blur as she seamlessly switched from quadruple to bipedal, all the while she was twirling a cane. A quick snap of my fingers and she stopped for a moment before continuing.
"I thought you were gonna de-Discord her?" Theresa asked.
Granny Smith just laughed, "He did, but this is the most fun I've had in years!" With a flick of her wrist/fetlock, the cane flew over to the house and landed next to the wall, leaning on it. "Good job with the farm youngins, everything's back ta normal, or as normal as living in Ponyville can get. Thanks fer picking Applebloom up from school, too. Now, yer prob'bly be wanting the reward I'd promised ya? Wait here a tic."
We were waiting for a few minutes, Theresa played tag with the Crusaders while Big Mac and I stood in comfortable silence watching them. When Granny Smith came out, she had a small canvas bag, a few plates and a pie balanced on her back.
While Theresa and the Crusaders attacked the pie, I opened the bag and stared, Granny Smith simply smiled at the young fillies and Theresa making a mess before turning to me and saying, "Ah don't know what those things are, what with only keeping an eye out for farm tools whenever they come up with a new one, but you seemed like you would be able ta put them ta whatever their purpose is. Ah found 'em a few days ago while walking around the farm and thought Ah'd ask one o' Applejacks friends but plum forgot about it every time Ah'd see one o' 'em."
Pulling one of the items in the bag out, I looked at the object in my hand. A gold plated, lacking its trigger guard, nine by nineteen millimeter, artillery model Luger P08 handgun that looked exactly like the one, if it wasn't the one, from the opening video of Bioshock two. In the bag were four extra eight round, nickel plated magazines, all of them filled with generic ammunition.
"*Theresa,*" I groaned, "*Come over here please.*"
"What is it?" She asked.
"*Just come over here.*" I simply replied, a smile on my lips.
"Okay, but it better be important, that apple pie is... Whoa." She stared at the handgun I was holding, "Where did you get this?"
Granny Smith smiled and told her what she told me, when she was done I handed the Luger to Theresa, "*Here, this is for one thousand and six missed Christmas' and birthdays.*"
"Awesome." She breathed as she looked her new gun over, "So my ex drug runner uncle is giving me a pimped out pistol? I feel like that's the set-up to a bad joke."
I chuckled, "*Maybe, but it's a lot better looking than that old seventeen HMR your dad got you when you turned five.*"
"Hey! I was a beast with that old relic!" She replied proudly as she took the time to learn the unfamiliar mechanisms. "Not a bullseye I couldn't hit or at least skim, and I always had to sight it in myself."
"*Yeah well, consider yourself allowed to act thirteen, you're smart enough to know when, who and where to play the innocent child card, and you always were twice as good with your old rifle than I ever was with my fancy Stoeger turkey gun.*" I watched her smile widen at that.
After putting her new gun and it's extra magazines in the bag-O-blood, she jumped up and gave me a flying hug yelling, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" While the Crusaders and Big Mac watched with happy, though also slightly confused, faces, Granny Smith looked like the only one who didn't look confused.
After a few minutes of Theresa talking with the Crusaders, she washed up and we said goodbye. Well, Theresa said goodbye and I just waved before we headed into Ponyville.
Kiss my OP'ed ass, wait stop stealing my OP! Accidental summons of the disgusting kind.
A few minutes after we'd left the farm, we had to hide as five outta six of the Element Bearers and one dragon tried to stone Discord. Watching from our hiding place in an alley, we silently laughed as they all started yelling, lying, antagonizing and being rude to each other.
Shortly after Spike failed at being Dyke Smurf, Twilight went emo and her coat turned grey as she headed towards her tree-house-library thing that, to this day, confuses me. We hid as the compulsive liar ran towards the farm we had just left until the no longer emo Twilight ran past our hiding place a few minutes later.
"Come on, I wanna see if Spike is as adorable as the show always made him out to be." Theresa said as she started walking towards the stupidly awesome tree house that had it's childish awesomeness lessened due to it also being a library.
If you must, or not, know, Theresa liked three characters from the show more than the rest; Scootaloo was her favorite Crusader and she had a life size plushie I ordered off of the internet for her. Yes, the plushie was the same size as the real Scootaloo, don't ask me how they knew how big the toy should be, I'd probably say magic or luck. Both of those seemed like reasonable answers here. She seemed to get along with her and the Crusaders perfectly fine and I'd hoped that they would be friends.
Fluttershy was her favorite Element Bearer and she was rather like her, a shy and quiet child when I lived with her family after some shit happened that made moving back to Texas the best move, but enough about my past, Theresa had almost a dozen Fluttershy things, school bag, toys, clothes, the list goes on.
But her all time favorite character, if you haven't guessed by now, was the wimpy, pushover, used and abused dragon with a name you'd give a dog if you were really fuckinglazy. Spike.
Whenever I'd be babysitting her and her sisters, I'd poke fun at him getting hurt in a manner that, I'm pretty sure, Charlie Chaplin would find hilarious. I used to joke that if he was a pony, his cutie mark would be of a pair of slapsticks. And a little over one thousand and four years ago, I promised Theresa that, if possible, I would let her meet him. Discord, having effectively seen the future due to Theresa memories, decided to say fuck it, if he's gonna be good than it'll be his choice, not Sun Butt's. Together we planned, we schemed, we made our respective peaces.
A promise is a promise, so I planned to keep it.
Theresa opened the door and let herself in, it's a public library in the middle of a nationwide disaster, fuck knocking. I crawled inside, barely fitting my bulk through the tiny door after getting my air tanks stuck and removing something that was in the way.
"What the buck?! Did you really need inside so badly that you ripped the door off?" Theresa yelled at me, I shrugged at her use of a pony swear word, which both of us agree just aren't hard enough to be proper swears, before turning towards my arch enemy.
Wooden stairs.
I promise you, if I ever meet a pony with that as their name, or even if it's just their cutie mark, then I'm going to use the unfortunate bastard as my doormat. Whether or not I have a door is irrelevant.
Theresa went up the stairs as I just growled at them. Ignoring the bane of my existence, I walked around and did what anyone did in a library.
I ignored the books. I ignored the many tales of brave pony knights. I ignored the fanciful history books. I ignored the gardening and farming books. I ignored the spell books. I ignored the purple lizard tail that was poking out of one of the kitchen cabinets...
Purple lizard tail? Filing it under investigate and someone else do it, I stood in front of the cabinet and waited. I didn't have to wait long before theresa came back downstairs.
"I couldn't find him." Theresa pouted, "I checked everywhere up there but I didn't find so much as a single scale."
"*Maybe he went somewhere? Maybe he's in the basement hiding?*" I asked, "*Maybe he ran off to do some errands for Twilight?*"
"Nah, he should still be here somewhere, where do you think a dragon with a upset stomach would be?" She asked.
"*Getting a snack when two strange creatures show up, one of which is a seven foot tall monster from the deep that ripped the door off just to crawl inside and the other one yells at him.*" I shrugged as she stared at me, after a moment I stepped aside. She slowly walked up to the cabinet and stopped a few feet away.
"Excuse me but could you please come out of there?" She asked in a near whisper, "I just want to talk."
I decided now was a good time to check the storyline, so I walked over to a window to observe the checkerboard pattern and pondering why the god of chaos would make the ground into what is a incredibly orderly pattern.
Shut up, a thousand years is not long enough to understand Discord. There's not enough time in every clock store in the history of Equuis to understand that nut.
I was standing there for a few minutes, watching some morons in a hot air balloon get dragged after some rainbow. The thing was moving pretty fast for all of the air resistance it had. After a while, the balloon stopped getting dragged and settled down in some clearing on the side of town to my right.
"*Theresa, the finale is almost here, we're gonna need to get going soon or we're gonna get stuck here.*" I groaned while turning from the window. After a moment, Theresa walked out of the kitchen with Spike in tow.
"This is my uncle I told you about, Mister Cee." She said with a small smile at the dragon's expression. I crouched down to make myself less intimidating, as if a Big Daddy could be anything but, and waved.
"H-hello there, M-mister Cee, it's n-n-nice to m-meet you." He stammered before holding out a claw for a handshake. I reached out, watching him flinch at the size of my gloves, and placed my index finger in his claw.
"*Nice to meet you Spike, you little bag of shit, you're smaller than one of my drills.*" I groaned.
"He said that it's nice to meet you and wanted to know what scale polish you use." Theresa supplied.
"Uh, a mare in Canterlot sold me it, Young Herb was her name I think, I buy it everytime I go to Canterlot." He replied, thrown at Theresa's 'translation' of what I said.
I heard some yelling from outside and turned back towards the window, Theresa and Spike following when the yelling got loud enough for them to hear. We watched as Discord was defeated by the power of a orbital rainbow strike, all of us stared at his new pose.
He stood tall and strong, his left eagle leg/arm outstretched with his middle talon standing tall, his right lion leg/arm propped on his hip as he bravely stood his ground. We watched as Princess Celestia showed up, congratulating Twilight and her friends. Pinkie walked up and started talking with her before holding up-
"A golden dildo! I got hit in the face by that, eww." Theresa gasped as Spike got a confused expression.
"Whats a dildo?" He oh so innocently asked, Theresa only learning about them about three years ago thanks to a noble couple that, while seeming like nice nobles, have a low number on my shit list. Mainly due to many others from centuries ago saying similar stuff around our statue.
After Celestia took it from Pinkie, we watch her do something with it and-
"Did she just stick that thing in her mouth?!" Theresa gasped, both hands over her mouth.
After watching for a moment, I replied, "*I think it's a banana. Seriously though, why was dildo the first thing you thought of?*"
Before she or Spike could reply, a portal opened over Celestia and popped out the bane of gamers since gaming was restricted to arcade cabinets.
Donkey Kong. Wearing a red cape, a golden crown and his signature loincloth, tie and collar, the newly arrived Displaced landed on the stunned princess. We watched as he lean down and say something even I didn't hear to the Princess under him before slipping something over her horn.
The Element Bearers looked shocked, Rarity fainted onto a couch that appeared from nowhere, Pinkie yelled something about him being a mean-meanie-pants, Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked ready for a fight and Twilight looked angry, Fluttershy flew in front of him to give him a stern talking to.
His reply was a backhand, Theresa and Spike gasped and I seethed, who was this guy to come to my Equestria, smack around my Bearers and defeat my Princess!? That's my job, my vocation being to stomp a WW2 regulation foxhole out of anyone who fucks with Theresa; mud holes being too small for my boots after all.
Program Charlie-Robertson.exe has stopped unexpectedly, loading back-up programme.
Big-Daddy-Mode.exe has been opened, exercise personal space bubble rules while Big-Daddy-Mode.exe is running.
With a quick toss, my two drills flew through the library's window and I smashed through the wall, I heard a couple of voices behind me, but I ignored them. I had a mission. No, a calling, a need to break this guy's face.
I stepped in front of the library to the shock of everyone there, the look on Cake Stuffer's face was priceless but I didn't have time to laugh at it. I had to give a tall ass kicking.
I started approaching, leaving my drills about ten feet in front of the library. I ignored the outright hostility I was getting from Dyke Smurf and cowmare pony, walking past the outright fear I was getting from fancy pony, smart pony and quiet pony, hardly noticing the small smile on the pink thing's face. I had eyes for only one person at that moment, him and his stupid leer.
"So, I believe introductions are in order, I am King Donkey Punch Kong, ruler of two Equestrias and of the newly formed United Harlem Alliance and boy do I have an offer for you." He said smugly as I stopped a few yards away.
I tilted my helmet a little, he apparently got the wrong idea and continued, I was just deciding which side of his face was his soon-to-be-not-his-good-side, "Swear allegiance to me and you'll rule this land, you'll be in charge of your world so long as you let me have your princesses and this version of the Mane 6. Everypony will serve you and your desires, mares and stallions, fillies and colts, all be your personal playthings. Work for me and we'll conquer the Multiverse, no Displaced will be able to stop us, everypony in every universe will be our personal sex toys," Chuckling, he looked down at the sun princess under him before he continued, "whether they want to or not."
Obviously this was not something that Cake Hole agreed with, her eyes shifting from him and me as she squirmed under the eight foot tall gorilla. I walked the last few feet and stood over the sick fuck, my porthole light a deep red, nearly matching my armour. Celestia noticed this and yelled, "Twilight, get your friends out of here now!"
Cowmare pony and dyke smurf pony started complaining, from a safe distance of course, while the purple pony started blathering about being able to help.
"Twilight Sparkle, get away now! This is Beast!" I slowly raised my right hand over the asshole's head and clenched my fist while she said that. With one smooth motion, I knocked that monkey off of her, got in between him and the Princess, I growled at him as he stood up. The bio-luminescent coating inside of my helmet reacting to my pure fury, creating a red so deep, it could be used as a dyed mirror as it blended into my crimson armour.
"You choose them over me?! Your world's ponies over your own kind! I'm King Donkey Punch Kong, I poisoned the entire water supply of Equestria with the everlasting heat potion and have the Princesses themselves powerless to my charms, I am the Harlem Master of the UHA and I will not be denied by the likes of you!" He yelled with more than a little blood splattering the ground.
I merely started switching between Incinerate and Electro Bolt on one hand while playing with Sonic Boom and Winter's Blast on the other, I don't care if you're the judge, jury and executioner, I'll beat that fucking shit outta you. I thought as I stood my ground.
He snorted before pulling out a wooden cannon gun thing from somewhere, I'd rather not know where, and aiming it at me, I responded by readying my left hand with a plasmid charged. We stood our ground for a few seconds before a loud boom filled the air, I caught the projectile in my telekinesis and briefly took note of it being a coconut before I launched it right back at him.
It exploded into a bunch of white, slightly gelatinous stuff that coated him. I think it was maybe whipped cream, I don't know but it smelled a little too salty compared to what I remembered. I waited while he wiped it off of his face while I clenched my fists and got into my preferred Krav Maga stance; arms at a forty-five degree angle with the backs of my hands towards me and my right leg and arm slightly further back.
He snorted before charging me, roaring as he tried to pick me up. Apparently, despite his size, he wasn't anywhere near as strong as a Brute splicer. I dropped a few heavy bombs onto his neck before picking him up by the throat, punching him in the eye until I got bored and just threw the heavy bastard, he might've weighed somewhere around tree-fiddy, but my dive suit weighed almost three times that.
He must've flew into this hideous monstrosity of a building I found him crawling out of, it was a few streets over and it was like some moron built it to resemble a circus tent. It had a green sign with a tan and orange pony with a horseshoe and sparkles behind it. In all honesty I only noticed the sign because he threw it at me. Catching it in my telekinesis, I threw it back at him with twice as much force, shattering it all over his ugly ass.
I watched as he pulled out some turtle shell and yell, "Bowser! Your master demands your presence!" Crap. Oh well... more meat for the grinder.
Yes, he called a displaced Bowser to come and help him out, portal and all. Motherfucker was wearing a gimp suit through... So hope I find a bleak, grey world to move to, this shits exhausting. Gimp Bowser looked around before he smiled at me... through a zipper... on a leather mask... which matched his latex suit that was stretched over his shell.
Please god, any god, if you're there, please give me the strength to rip these perverts in half. I got nothing against having fetishes, I have my own, but I kept that shit in my bedroom or on my computer and my phone, there's fillies and colts, a one baby dragon and a little girl watching this in broad daylight. So, if you could keep them from calling another Mario Brothers boss who's a pervert, that'd be great. My prayer was interrupted by the two of them flanking me, both of them disappeared into my huge blindspot.
Looking to my left revealed a eight foot tall gorilla pulling out his coconut cannon from somewhere, looking right revealed a eight and a half feet tall fire breathing, gimp suit wearing tortoise.
He's closer related to turtles.
Pinkie, aren't you supposed to be somewhere, anywhere, else?
Silly, I'm supposed to be keeping you guys on your toes, however weird those toes may be.
Coming from the walking sugar bomb, that's rich.
Don't you have a boss battle to write?
Yes, now get. My phones already shattered, the last thing I need is you treating it like it's the fourth wall.
Okay, just don't forget that your br-
Pinkie!
Sheesh, some ponies, and people, are so strange around their-
*VrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrP*
Leave that on until you get back.
Mmph mm ah mm hmm
To quote Lord Reference, I love duct tape.
Third person PoV
Theresa and Spike followed the others as they tried to find a safe place to observe the fight. Ironically, this would be in the semi destroyed spa. Aloe and Lotus were thankfully in the back when Donkey Kong flew in, scrawled his name on the appointment list, and walked out. Donkey Kong reasoning that if he does win, then he's gonna need the mother of all massages... and her sister.
Theresa stayed near the back of the room, sitting on the counter as the two bad Displaced tried to flank her uncle. Her Bag-O-Blood, plus two to conversation starter, sat next to her as she held her new gun in her hands, gently running a finger over the trigger as she watched over the heads of the ponies. Spike kept his word and didn't tell any of them she was hiding behind the front desk during his truthful explanation of entering through the back door, thus avoiding the rapist gorilla out front.
Right now, a lot of things were going through Celestia's mind, one of them was how thankful she was that Beast's boot wasn't among them. Luna was right, there is a pony -or whatever he is- in there capable of rational thought and mercy... but why would he fight these cretins? Luna and I sentence him and his niece to a thousand years in stone for crimes he couldn't help but commit and he saved me from a horrible fate...
...And what's a Landshark, or for that matter, what did he mean by using a Kentucky Klondike Bar on me in his fungeon? She pondered. If Mister Cee was able to hear that, he would've bursted out laughing (if he was able to laugh, all he could manage at the time was a deep chuckle), immediately kill the two perverted and disgusting Displaced and ignore Celestia's question.
Spike stared at the fight about to start outside, the leviathan calmly standing between the two deviants.
Rarity and Pinkie were preoccupied with checking on Fluttershy's blackening eye and while Pinkie gave a short wave to Theresa, receiving a small smile in return, Fluttershy simply thought of anything but the perverted primate outside.
Twilight's brain left her shortly after watching the gorilla pull out his coconut cannon, having thrown it's metaphorical hooves up and relapsed to the Pinkie sector, an area where it goes whenever Pinkie does the impossible, something that involves breaking physics, the fourth wall or, well, being Pinkie.
It was a very nice padded room for her subconscious to play in with mega-blocks and soft, non harmful objects.
Mister Cee stood in between the two Displaced, waiting for a sound that would signal the fight's beginning. A deep intake of breath to his right was the awaited signal. Mister Cee turned left, caught the coconut in his telekinesis and redirected it into Bowser's throat.
Turning away from the choking gimp, the big daddy caught another coconut and threw it back. Donkey Kong leaped out of the way and threw down his gun. Walking forward in his standard stance, Mister Cee approached him.
"All of this trouble for a world that rejects you, why do you deny my benevolent rule!" Donkey Kong yelled as the two of them started circling.
While I may dislike the Princesses, miss talking, miss the feeling of feeling and like to think I could do a better job than them, I also know that they merely want the continued peace and safety their ponies thrive in, my actions have to speak louder than words, I can remove my armour if I want or need to and being in charge sucks, probably more so when you rule a kingdom of sex slaves you goddamn filthy ape. Mister Cee thought, that and you disgust me like none other.
Taking his silence at faceless value, Donkey Kong charged again. Mister Cee grabbed his wide right with his left, placed his right hand on his right shoulder and kicked his legs out from under him. Who said you can't learn anything from cartoons and anime, a dumbass, that's who. Mister Cee thought as he turned around...
Which gave him a nice view into the fiery abyss behind a pair of oversized lips, which were behind a zipper on a leather mask. Fucking Pokemon reject turtle.
After applying a couple of quick punches to his face, the gimp quit roasting Mister Cee and started throwing punches in return. Heavy, slow haymakers were deflected with ease, quick jabs were ignored and wide, sweeping hooks were caught and punished. A headbutt to Mister Cee's helmet resulted in a major ringing in the Protector's ears and a hairline fracture for the gimp.
Backing off of his victim, he backed in front of the spa and waited. "Together you filthy sack of shit! I'll go and flank him and you distract the bastard!"
Bout time. I was growing tired of 1V1 anyway. Mister Cee thought as he got ready again. He decided on playing some music for this round.
They charged, attempting to overrun the Big Daddy with numbers and weight. Mister Cee blocked a punch from DK and deflected another one from Bowser. A right cross knocked the fire breather back while a left jab stunned Donkey Kong. Grabbing him by his tie, Mister Cee tossed him a few yards away into his armoured minion. They picked themselves up and got ready to attack again.
"Get those sick pricks uncle Cee!" Theresa yelled out to the surprise of everypony in the destroyed waiting room. "Show them why Alphas are the best Big Daddy in Rapture!" She smiled as she yelled. Mister Cee just kept his attention on the two in front of him while Donkey Kong got a hungry look.
"Fuck it, I'm gonna enjoy this. Take care of this punk." He mumbled before leaping over Mister Cee and landing among the scattering ponies. Theresa backed up from the lusty ape and fumbled with her P08 Luger. "Hello little girl, you and me are gonna have some fun."
Theresa pressed against the wall frantically trying to flick the safety off and line up a shot. Suddenly, she looked a lot more happy and calm. She even giggled. Donkey Kong look behind himself and looked right into the crimson porthole of Mister Cee, looking left, he had enough time for one thought, Did he just do the bunny ears thing to me?
Before those once harmless bunny ears jabbed into his eyes.
Picking the ape up by his collar, and ignoring the giant fire breathing turtle on his back, Mister Cee threw a heavy hook followed by another and another and another and another... You get the picture, he beated the ape's face in.
After his much needed stress relief, Mister Cee dragged the barely conscious gorilla out of the building. Walking past the frightened ponies, he tossed Donkey Kong into the street. Immediately followed by the moronic Bowser who froze up once Mister Cee started reconstruction on his master.
"Thanks Mister Cee, that pervert almost got me." Theresa told her uncle as she picked up her Bag-O-Blood and walked to the front of the spa, "So, what are ya gonna do with them?" She asked.
Shrugging, Mister Cee watched as Gimp Bowser stood up and looked down at his master. "You, you bastard!" He roared before spitting a stream of fire at the Big Daddy.
Running through the flames, Mister Cee started throwing jabs and cross at the turtle's face. Most of the hits tore massive rips in his leather mask, knocked teeth from his gums and generally destroyed the reptile's face.
Turning around, Theresa took in the sight, she spent a few seconds looking at the ring around Celestia's horn and thinking about some things. After a moment, she smiled. "Hey Celestia, would you ever punish Twilight for missing her mandatory friendship report?" Theresa asked, internally laughing as she watched Twilight start squirming.
"Mandatory? She doesn't have to send me weekly friendship reports. Why do you ask?" Celestia replied with confusion evident.
"Just clearing up a undesired problem, that's all." Theresa chuckled as she turned around, Mister Cee had both of the perverted displaced on the ground with their faces bloody and smashed. After a moment, a void opened under both of them and they disappeared.
"You done?" Theresa asked, the Big Daddy hardly breathing heavier than normal. Nodding, Mister Cee picked Theresa up and headed towards the Library to grab his drills. Celestia quickly noticed the magic nullifying ring disappearing and turned to the girls behind her.
"Princess, was that, are they... Beast and Feast?" Twilight asked while Aloe and Lotus went to get an icepack for Fluttershy's black eye.
Celestia grimly looked around at the destroyed waiting room before she answered. "Yes, I need to get something from Canterlot Twilight, something I had hoped to never need. I need you and your friends to wait here, stay away from those two and at all costs, do not attempt to harm Feast. Stay at least twenty hooves away and stay safe my student." With a flash, she was gone. Leaving six mares and one drake alone.
"This sucks." Rainbow groaned as she pointed towards the destroyed wall, "Why can't we go out there and give that thing a quick one-two with the elements?"
"Now hold on there Rainbow, I know yer itching fer a fight, but do you really want ta fight that? That there feller just destroyed those two like they weren't nothing to him." Applejack said as she walked up next to Rainbow Dash, placing a hoof on her shoulder, she continued, "Sides, she went ta go get something, least we can do is not make him mad."
"Actually, I think the worst thing you could do would be making Mister Cee mad." Spike supplied. Looking at the confused mares, he continued, "I don't think he cares if we keep our distance, but if somepony tried to fight him or, All Maker have pity, hurt Theresa... I think they might have a slim chance to walk again... someday."
Twilight started walking over as she asked, "Spike, what did you just say?" Slowly backing into the corner, Spike looked around at the confused and suspicious looks Twilight and her friends were giving him.
"Uh... someday?" He supplied.
"No, before that." Twilight replied.
"Have a chance to walk again?" He squeaked, getting a no in reply, he tried again, "I think they might? All Maker have mercy?"
"After that and before the rest." Twilight told him as he slowly started trying to make himself smaller.
"Hurt Theresa." He said as thoughts of a angry big daddy played with his severed head, inventing the game of dodgeball with the skull. If he only had a few more minutes, he would've found his calling as a philosopher and had his name spoken of throughout the generations. That or a gym teacher.
Alas, it simply wasn't meant to be. "Who or what, is Theresa?"
"T-that girl with the glowing eyes and t-the bag full of b-blood." Spike answered nervously.
"Bag of blood? Spike, why does she have a bag of blood?" Fluttershy asked as Aloe and Lotus gave her a bag of ice.
"She said she suffers from a medical condition that's like what the Nocturnes have, she drinks blood." Spike admitted.
"That's disgusting. What kind of medical condition could require you to drink blood!" Rarity exclaimed.
"I don't know, but I know where we can find out. Come on girls, Spike, wait here." Twilight told everyone. Rushing outside, she lead her friends towards the library.
Stopping at a safe distance, Twilight gulped. The unblinking eye of the seven foot tall monster stared into her soul as the beast was currently picking up his drills and hanging them off of his hips. Theresa stood next to it as she fidgeted with her Bag-O-Blood. After she turned around, she gasped.
"Fluttershy, are you okay?" She asked, staring at the mare's blackening eye. The mare hid behind her mane and replied with a nearly unperceivable nod. Theresa frowned, the answer leaving her unsatisfied, "You should really get that checked as soon as we're gone."
"Wait!" Twilight called out, "What are you two, why are you two here, where are you gonna go and what are you planning?" She asked, trying to buy the Princess time for whatever it was she was planning.
Theresa giggled, "Those are easy; ask around your friends and family, we don't know, some prick's idea of fun I guess, wherever the journey takes us and I don't monologue or make ridiculous plans like some two-bit Disney movie bad guy. What I can tell you is don't try anything." A yellow glow surrounded Theresa as Mister Cee turned towards her and grabbed her hand, a innocent litte smile matching the sweet expression on her face, "Because I've got a quiet friend with a big stick."
With that, Theresa turned around and walked away, leading Mister Cee towards the Everfree forest. Twilight and her friends continued following the monsters of Rapture, keeping a healthy distance, too close and you'll go on the extreme drill diet. A diet that Rarity was all too tempted to try.
"Such hideous outfits. Really, I know that we're supposed to keep our distance, but I could easily fix that dreadful thing she wearing. As to the hulking behemoth, I doubt every designer in Equestria could help that thing. It's simply awful." She whined.
Theresa giggled as she turned around, "I'd like to see that, the Big Daddy Makeover Show with your host, Moronic Narrative! Today, Miss Rarity attempts to get Mister Cee to change his style. Will he survive the embarrassment? Will she keep from becoming the newest stains on his boots? Find out tonight, on the Big Daddy Makeover Show!" Theresa called to the mares that were following at a safe distance. Their expressions were of anger, fear, curiosity and Pinkie smiling.
"I don't think you know what he is, do you? This here, is Mister Cee, a Alpha modal Big Daddy armed with two drills, two dozen Tonics and eight, nine if you count Mister D's, Plasmids that are perfected for killing anything. The sole purpose of a Big Daddy, or Protector if you want, is to keep Little Sisters, or Gatherers, like me safe from any who would want to hurt me. He's pretty stubborn and I doubt I'd be able to keep him from killing you if you tried to hurt or kidnap me." Theresa continued after she noticed the various expressions on the Bearer's faces.
Rarity wisely shut her mouth as another of her friends opened hers, "Oh yeah! I'd beat that thing into the dirt, and then I'd personally fly your little butt to the Princess!"
"He just got set on fire and punched by something a lot stronger than you, his armour weighs more than Celestia and Luna after Crazy Cakes finished his new 'Heartwarming through a heart attack' cake recipe. What makes you think you can even get close enough to hit, let alone hurt, him? He is a walking tank with cannons for punches. A mobile bunker! Heavy artillery! And no one, not the Princesses, not you, not even the Elements of Harmony will stop him!" With a sly laugh, Theresa continued onward.
Turning around, Theresa walked passed the outskirts of Ponyville. After a few moments of walking, Celestia teleported in front of Twilight and her friends. Scared for her student and her student's friends' safely, she asked her, "Twilight, why are you and your friends following these two? I thought I told you to stay in the spa."
"Princess, It's- I mean- uh..." Twilight stuttered and stumbled through her words. After a small relieved sigh, the Princess turned around.
"Nevermind. Beast and Feast, turn and face me!" Theresa turned around after whispering something to her uncle. He shrugged before he too turned around.
"What do you want you royal pain in my butt, can't you see we have a deadly forest to walk off into?" Theresa asked.
"I'm afraid I can't let you two leave. You are wanted for desecration of the dead and your daddy is wanted for the murder of scores of royal guards, several whole caravans, a small township and my entire personal body guard." When Celestia spoke, the Bearers gasped, they had never met someone who had done so much harm, all she got was a single digit on both of Mister Cee's hands and Theresa frowning with one hand in her Bag-O-Blood and shifted pass the tokens they have found and her needle until she found her objective. Mister Cee gave a really low growl as he aimed his yellow porthole at each of the bearers respectively.
"My uncle is right, your royal guard was, and still is, a joke, those traveling salesmares and stallions shouldn't have thrown rocks at a child, that's on them, that town died of natural causes and you know it, it's natural to die after drinking from a well that had a corpse in it, regardless of who put said corpse in it, your personal bodyguard accepted an assassination mission on me and can rot in Tartarus for all we care, you and your sister can kiss the leftmost part of my right butt cheek, then move over a little. And don't worry about desecrating the dead," Theresa smiled as she pulled out a medical IV bag filled with blood. "I'm just holding onto the needle incase of emergencies, which I hope never to experience. Goodbye Celestia, I hope our paths never cross, but hope can only take someone so far."
"Fine, if you won't go quietly, than I'll have to take all that you have stolen." Celestia said.
"A thousand years is a long time to test the statue of limitations for stealing necessary things for a child, you know, food, water, that sort of thing you should've dropped a long time ago." Theresa replied.
"There is no statue of limitations for the theft of magic. Not to mention your raid on the Canterlot School of Medicine."
Shit.
Shoot.
"I stole nothing, I merely did my job as a gatherer should, I gathered. And Scruffy gave me that blood so I wouldn't need to drink it straight from the source, something you should be happy about." Theresa replied.
"Maybe so, but the amount of pure, unaligned magic in you is too dangerous to leave in inexperienced hooves." Celestia looked at the two of them, a sad expression that was unnoticeable to anyone but Theresa and Charlie adorned her face before continuing, "I can take it away and once you both swear to never harm my subjects ever again, then I'll consider letting you two live among the populace, under constant watch of course."
"I reiterate, you two can kiss the darkest part of my lily white ass." Theresa replied, gesturing to Mister Cee, she continued, "He'll never swear to being a pacifist and I'll never let somepony who has, on at least one direct occasion, tried to kill me and my only family on this entire planet."
"Please, accept my terms and we'll find a way for you both to live in peace!" Celestia shouted, "If you do not accept, then you'll leave me no choice but to force it from you."
*Revvvvvvvvvmmmmmmmmm*
Looking over her shoulder and noting his grapple drill being warmed up, Theresa turned towards Celestia and shouted, "I bow to no one but God himself! Para bellum, Princess, for if you attack us then you'll just be sealing your fate!"
Celestia frowned before pulling something out from under her wing. It was a clear diamond amulet, about the size of Theresa's fist and pulsed with an unseen power. Holding it up, Celestia casted a spell on the gem. A beam of bright light blinded Theresa as it connected with Mister Cee, he roared a deep, agonized and angry roar of such pain it hurt the ears of all nearby.
He sunk to one knee, barely able to hang his drill back on his hip as he fumbled to put on his other. A loud bang split the air and the spell stopped, when the lights were rubbed out of everyone's eyes, they saw two things.
Theresa standing tall with both hands on her Luger, smoke gently drifting from the barrel with the nine millimeter casing by her shoe. The other thing they saw, was Princess Celestia on the ground, a hole torn through her right fore leg.
Theresa aimed as best as she could with her Luger, gone was the fear or rush from earlier with DK, all she wanted was for the Princess to stop hurting her uncle. She was lucky her shot in the light hit her target, let alone not kill her or hit something major. Ah luck, such a fickle mistress. It could even strike twice in a row!
"I know not if thou could offer any real assistance, but I am out of options. I summon thee in my time of need!" A male voice called from everywhere and nowhere.
A strong tugging sensation ran through Mister Cee and Theresa, as the ponies and one dragon looked over, they watched as Theresa say something to the behemoth before it disappeared in a similar manner to the other two it just dispatched.
"You just got shot with a 9x19mm parabellum round princess, you done fucked up right if a eight year old feels like shooting you!" After her uncle left, Theresa felt the pulling sensation increased tenfold. Before following her uncle, Theresa gave the wounded princess the two finger salute and let the forces of the void do their thing. After a moment of confusing colours, she found herself in the airlock that big daddies would use, looking at her uncle in front of her.
Important talks concerning unaligned magic; ruleless magic is the equine versin of anti-matter
A few minutes after the Displaced duo were summoned, princess Celestia, Twilight and Twilight's six closest friends were in the library; Celestia having chose to heal her leg of Equestria's first gunshot wound in spite the amount of history the scar would have told.
Although the alicorn had insisted she was fine standing, Twilight had brought some pillows and offered her softest one, labeled as such of course. While she was sitting down and looking at the mares and one dragon, the thought of such a weapon in the hands of a child unsettled her, the child herself unnerved the princess like few could. At the moment, they were discussing the pair who had left without a trace.
"Luna said she saw something similar after she had read a rather insulting sentence, she saw it again when she was tied to her bed, a hole in space, within which was an endless void that the strange doll Feast always carried with her disappeared into. I believe that they are no longer on Equus." Celestia stated.
"Great, so the huge monster is somepony else's problem." Rainbow replied, waving a hoof to illustrate her lack of concern. "If the problem solves itself, just saves me the trouble of beating that thing up, not that it would be all that hard." Celestia shook her head at Rainbow's dismissal of an enormous threat.
"Is that so? Did you not notice that the two other creatures also arrived, and departed, in a similar fashion as our two? How about the ability to summon allies like our's did to Luna? These are no longer simply roaming monsters that thrive on chaos, they're now thinking, feeling and learning creatures with weapons and abilities that even my sister and I could hardly match. Mister Cee himself took on two opponents of similar size with little more than his strength, I'd go so far as to quess he was even playing with them."
"That was playing? Whoa, I'm not sure I'd want to see how he parties! Ah who am I kidding, I'd like to see anypony party." Pinkie smiled as the thought of the massive monster with a party hat played pin the tail on the pony.
"Princess, what do we do?" Twilight asked, ignoring Pinkie's outburst. "If what Theresa told Luna in the dreamscape was true, then aren't they victims as well?"
Celestia shook her head with a weary sigh, "Twilight, I've seen the differences between Feast and Beast compared to Theresa and Mister Cee and while I can sympathize with them, they are much too dangerous to allow to wander freely doing what they did all those years ago. Beast was a monster in the truest sense of the word, Mister Cee has the same strengths and more than that simpleminded creature had all those years ago. As much as it pains me to condemn them, they had the opportunity to live peaceful lives and they chose to turn down my offer. I cannot allow them the chance to harm anymore of my ponies."
"So we're gonna have ta go and catch the varmints, right princess?" Applejack asked, uncomfortable at the thought of facing such a creature that toyed with it's opponents, "Ah'm sure we can get them ta at least understand that they don't need ta fight."
"No, it's not that I believe that you girls can't handle it, it's because..." She trailed off as she remembered a horrifying memory, Beast standing tall over a unicorn stallion who'd she had foalishly believed that he could best it. Posed to deliver the killing blow seconds before Celestia and her sister attempted to use the elements of harmony on Feast, only for Feast to scream a soul wrenching cry for her daddy to protect her. The monster instantly rushing over and pulling the girl into a soft, but no less loving embrace as it offered it's back to the princesses. It's drills crossing Feast's back as it carefully held her.
Shaking her head, she once more looked over those seated in front of her. Her secret weapon, her plans A through P, her first, last and many times only line of defense against all the things that the guard couldn't defend against with normal means. "...it's because Mister Cee and I have one similarity, both of us have only one family member left to us in the entire world and would fight anything or anypony who dares harms our loved one."
"Princess Celestia, if I may interrupt?" Rarity politely asked, receiving a nod in response, she continued. "Where did these two come from? I assume by your words that they are either the last of a native species that has never truly been encountered before except for their past, or they are from another world."
Celestia frowned as she remembered forming the Monster Prevention Agency after the two were captured, in order to prepare in case more were to follow their kin. After several hundred years of training, searching and researching, it was eventually believed to had been as Rarity had said, with no evidence to support either side, until today that is.
"Reports from the royal guard informed me of a creature similar to Theresa in appearance except without her illuminated eyes. She was causing enough chaos in the royal kitchen that I could easily believe her to be the very spawn of Discord, thankfully she seemed to have left sometime before your victory against him so he wasn't immediately freed once again. Not to mention the suit wearing, green skinned one who had effectively hypnotized over twenty guards with a mere speech." Celestia sighed as she looked over at the clock, noting the time for her to lower the sun fast approaching.
"Princess? What did you mean by them stealing magic?" Twilight asked as she fidgeted, "Because... it kinda sounded like they could just take a ponies magic, is that what they can do?"
Celestia sighed once more before getting more comfortable on her cushion. "Shortly after they were captured, I tasked Starswirl with finding out more about them and their possessions. Apparently, after he had used an advanced poison check spell (Royal Taster having been given the day off) on one of the bottles, he took a sip and absorbed something in it. I do not know what it was, but what was once a above average court mage eager to prove himself to my sister and I turned into a flurry of activity. He created hundreds of spells and theories right up till a few minutes after he'd passed."
Twilight seemed to have fizzled out at the implications of such a potion, thus allowing Spike a rare chance to speak. "Princess, did you say, after he passed?"
Celestia managed to keep from shuddering at another memory, "The elixir made him regrow brain cells, raised his IQ and burned through his life. Starswirl the bearded had lived almost three years after a mere tasting of the potion before his soul left him... several minutes before his body finally died. One of his very last theories was unaligned and ruleless magic, it stated that if one was to find a way to harness magic in such a form, then anything could happen from the slightest misinterpretation, while allowing almost anypony to learn any spell or magical school, by not having any restrictions on their inner magic. It was also the explanation behind why Mister Cee and Theresa were so hard to locate with magic considering that the ponies' whose blood she drank lost their individual frequency, unless somepony was specifically searching for magical energy without searching for somepony's frequency or what classification, than they're unnoticeable. Even if you were to search for them like that, it would be like searching for a grey spot in a world of grey."
"Princess?" All heads turned towards the soft speaker, even Twilight breaking out of her daze to turn to Fluttershy. She waited a moment until her confidence gained before continuing, "What Theresa said back there, did you really order guards to... kill her?"
Wordlessly, Celestia closed her eyes and nodded, the gasps from the room's occupants breaking the near total silence. After a minute of not saying anything, she opened her eyes, "We- I thought that... that she was under a curse, enslaved and chained to the monster's will. I figured that anypony would rather die than serve whatever sick pleasures Beast got from watching her... watching her drink blood."
Dr. Tenenbaum's research journal entry ## Date ##/##/####
Today has been interesting, while we were testing the Adam slugs to find ways to improve their output, one of the assistants forgot to replace the specimen to its aquarium when we breaked for lunch. After promising to test the new injectable plasmid on him, I proceeded to take the specimen to the Adam refining machine but on the way. Before I could do so, I noted that the creature was still alive! Once I overcame my shock, I took it back to the examination table and dissected it.
To my repeated shock, it had evolved a pair of crude, but still very functional, lungs. In the amount of time it took me to walk to and from the cafeteria not a hundred yards away! My uneaten meal forgotten due to the assistant mentioning his mistake. Although I am incredibly joyous at this revelation, the fact that the Adam slug can not only create a pair of lungs but in such short time, I still had to punish the assistant for his mistake.
As I am writing this, one of the janitors is sweeping the fools ashes into a dustpan, thanks to that lucky moron we also know that the Incinerate Plasmid needs some work done to enable the user to endure the flames as well as practice for them to control their newfound powers. We may also need to devolve a Tonic to counteract the Plasmid if it was to be used offensively.
But I digress, who would've know that these mere slugs could do such a thing, even after their waste was discovered to be essential to genetic splicing. So far, I already have a few dozen tests planned for tomorrow; poison resistance, extreme temperature range testing, chemical tests, the list goes on. But the one I look forward to the most, starvation and alternative meals.
As anyone who has ever spliced before can tell you, an Adam slug consumes the blood and/or body of a deceased sea creature and converts its genetic make-up into Adam, I wish to find just what meals increase Adam output the highest as well as finding out if there are certain meals they dislike or prefer. I doubt apples will be something they'll like.
Oh! I almost forgot, the Adam slug I dissected, it survived three minutes longer then others of its kind, I conducted the dissection the same as the others; the slug pinned to the tray with a small layer of water covering the bottom. Through I believe it possibly broke the record due to the aid of it's newest adaption, I'm also certain we can also find a way to pass on their natural regenerative ability, hopefully without it needing water to work.
Spike blinked before putting the weathered journal page back on the table, next to the unknown book titled Bioshock: Rapture where he found it. He knew it wasn't there a few moments ago when he walked through on his way to the kitchen. He also hoped it wasn't some elaborate prank by Rainbow Dash and/or Pinkie Pie. Shuddering, he did the one thing he knew would work.
"Twiliiiiight!"
It was several days after the defeat of Discord and for the first few days Twilight had questioned him relentlessly; what did Theresa say to him, what were her manners were like, how was Mister Cee's disposition towards him, did he say anything, did his groans sound like he was trying to speak, how do you think Theresa was able to understand him. All good questions that might affect future negotiations but there were also the less rational questions; what was the difference in length of the two drills, what was the dive suit made of and why was it's colouration a soft, underwater blue accented by it's bright red armoured parts, could you draw Theresa's dress including its state of disrepair. Admittedly, that last one was Raritiy's but that didn't bother Spike at all.
Needless to say, such questions simultaneously pleased and annoyed him, it wasn't that he was proud of meeting a dangerous killing machine, he had no idea how true that statement was, but being one of only a few and, sadly, at any point that Twilight had a question, she could ask him. She had a lot of questions for the young drake.
Questions that have intruded upon the two's sleep, thus earning the young drakecs ire, "Twilight!"
Dr. Tenenbaum's research journal entry ## Date ##/##/####
Over the last few weeks, the Excavators and Constructors haven't been enough to build and maintain Rapture, so several weeks ago Ryan asked all of us in the Adam sector to aid the Excavator and Constructor design team with creating a new model. I have supplied the test subject almost two weeks ago and I must admit, the idea of another breed of those lumbering things has caught my interest. The name they've chosen was based off of the need for an all around unit, it must be able to clear the ocean floor for new buildings as well as build, maintain and repair Rapture; it must know how to do it all, so therefore it was decided that the beast shall be called the Foreman series.
An interesting occurrence has taken place today, the new Foreman was completed on time and has so far shown that it understands and follows orders. Subject Beta- Subject Alpha having been destroyed by a problem with it's programming that resulted in the deaths of three scientists, all because the stupid thing thought it didn't need it's helmet sealed or use an airlock to go outside and proved it by going through the wall, -was taken outside for a test run with it's drill, the Excavators that saw it immediately stopped what they were doing and stared at the intruder. After standing there for several minutes, ignoring the Rapture Repair and Maintenance System and threats to dismantle them, all of them simultaneously went back to work with the Foreman unit drilling right next to it's Constructor cousins.
So far, such a strange occurrence has never been seen before, the Excavators' didn't so much as turn their heads when the Constructors showed up, they simply continued working. It's almost as if... Bah! Such foolish thoughts. Tomorrow we'll be testing the Foreman's ability to handle it's rivet gun, sealing cracks and welding. Today has just been too strange, mindless machines looking towards their newest addition, I wish I could say that it was in fear but... I'd almost say they were revering Subject Beta.
From the upstairs came a tremendous groan, followed by the sound of something heavy hitting the floor. An ear fin perked, Spike turned from the disturbing piece of paper and smiled at the new comer, "Glad to see you're up, I'd thought you never wake up."
Standing not ten feet away was a terrifying sight, the beast stared through eyes of red and walked with heavy steps while a slightly angry expression was directed towards the young drake, "Spike, what is it?" The beast asked with a yawn while it rubbed it's eyes with a hoof.
Suppressing a snicker at his... something (sister, mother figure? Like I said, something), Spike pointed towards the newest addition to the library, "That book and a few loose pages showed up while I was getting lunch ready, it seems strange, I thought it was Rainbow Dash and Pinkie playing a prank until I read some of it."
Confused and very much unaware, Twilight yawned, "What makes you think Pinkie couldn't have made it? She could more likely than not write a book in under the hour I was asleep."
"I doubt she'd make something, especially as a prank, with someone casually killing something or somepony." He replied with a firm nod and a frown, "It doesn't have any of Pinkie's... energy, that feeling of hyperactivity either, ya know?"
Confused further, Twilight approached the worn journal pages, "Maybe it's a mystery or science fiction... written in a journal format?" She asked perplexed while looking over some of pages while sneaking glances at the new book, pausing at a familiar name. "Subject Cee has been approved for combat programming, while this Foreman wasn't trained in repair and maintenance, it has been increasingly aggressive whenever the RRM System has been running for extended periods, even going so far as to kill one of the Excavators."
Twilight and Spike grimaced before she continued, "This Foreman is nothing like its fellows, it seems to seek out fights and hasn't even been programmed or bonded yet! If we don't pair-bond that beast soon, it'll rip Rapture down around our heads. Luckily, the little one that came with the anomaly is almost ready for the pair bonding, she'll love him like none other. Since the Foreman isn't going to even act like a Foreman, the modal name has been changed to the Alpha Series, in honour of the three who were killed by Subject Alpha in the creation of the original Foreman series. Curiously, we have yet to note any real difference between the Constructors and Excavators and this new creation, they almost ignore it; finally we can put such strange happenings to rest."
Giving a shudder, Spike turned around and made to go back to the kitchen, "I highly doubt Pinkie made that thing, it just isn't like her." Twilight merely had an eye twitch, than another.
Several days after Spike had found the journal pages and the book, he finally had enough and tried to kicked Twilight out of the library, almost literally, "Twilight, your friends are going to have a picnic at the park today and you're just gonna stay here?"
"Hmm."
"Just because of a few old, water stained journal entries?"
"Uh-huh."
"Why don't you go ask the others what their thoughts are on that?"
"Nah."
"Ugh! Rainbow Dash is gonna go destroy something of Applejack's."
"...That's nice Spike."
Spike simply slammed a claw into his face and moaned as he walked into the kitchen, less than a few minutes later, he walked back in front of Twilight with a smug grin, "Hey Twilight, did you ever send a letter to Celestia about what you learned about friendship?"
Her eyes widened as she bolted up, "Oh no, oh no, oh no! I can't believe believe I haven't reported to the Princess yet, she's going to be so disappointed with me, Spike!"
"Don't worry about it Twilight, she already told you those aren't mandatory. Besides, she'd probably be more interested in the letter I sent her about the book than some non-existent friendship problem." Spike informed her seconds before he belched up a scroll, "Now let's see- Hey!"
Twilight grabbed the scroll from him with her magic, quickly unfurling it and reading it aloud, "To my faithful student Twilight, Spike has informed me that you have come into the possession of a book as well as a few pages that could shine some light on Mister Cee and Theresa's illness. I trust that you'll keep this safely on your pony until an agent from the MPA can obtain it for further study, expect to also be questioned as to the nature of the items in questioned contents as you have, no doubt, been reading it. Sincerely, Princess Celestia."
Twilight sighed before realising something, "Did I freak out about a deadline, in spite being told that there never was a deadline in the first place?" She pondered out loud before suddenly glaring at her little brother (that's what I'm going to go with), "And you used that to break me out of a reading frenzy?"
Spike held a claw up to reply but before he was able to, a loud screech rended the air, sending the two of them to the ground with their respective appendages over their respective hearing extremities. But even that was not enough, to block out the rasping, metallic threat, "Iah'm. Gohing. To-ah. Rip-ah. You. Ah-part!" (2:25)
