Whisk
Whisk
by Present Perfect
The acres of rolling hills outside the window of Ponyville's Secondary School made her think of rolling dice, which made her think about the one time they tried to be Cutie Mark Crusader Dungeon Masters, which made her think of Twilight Sparkle...
"Psst, Sweetie!"
...which made her think about magic because you had to levitate the dice in order to get them to roll properly...
"Sweetie, hey!"
...which made her think of her sister not having time to teach her magic, which suddenly made her realize that she should try asking Twilight, because she was studying magic, and...
"Sweetie Belle!"
"Ow!" Sweetie turned around, glaring and rubbing the shoulder where Scootaloo had socked her. "What was that for?"
"You were staring out the window and not paying attention to me, duh!" The pegasus bounced in the aisle, wings buzzing. "Are you excited for the first day of school? New schoolhouse and everything!"
Sweetie shrugged and sighed. "Yeah, I guess. They never teach me anything I want to know, though."
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Pssh, yeah, don't I know it? Rainbow Dash says that flying means you have to understand things like aerody... something, but do I learn any of that here? No!" Not missing a beat, she thrust a hoof towards the front of the classroom. "Hey, do you see the new kid, the one sitting next to Apple Bloom? What's up with him?"
Sweetie looked up at the brown earth pony colt. He looked withdrawn, as though he were trying to fold himself up for easy storage, and his disheveled mane covered almost his entire face. Its numerous shades of brown reminded her of coffee and how her sister would sometimes make little patterns or pictures in the foam on top of the cappuccino, which made her think about leaves and snails and...
"Ow! Cut it out, Scoot!"
"What're you staring for?" Scootaloo's voice dropped to a low octave and she batted her eyelashes. "Could it be love at first sight?"
Sweetie stuck her tongue out. "Eww, gross, no way!"
"Hey, check it out: he's already got his cutie mark!" Scootaloo pointed to the image of a whisk coated in brown gravy on his haunch. "I wonder what it means."
Sweetie considered the mark, which got her thinking about gravy and rolls and Hearth's Warming, but her thoughts were cut off before she could reach any kind of conclusion when their venerable teacher entered the classroom.
"Oh, I know her!" Sweetie Belle whispered to Scootaloo. "She was my sister's teacher when she was our age!"
The mare's ears perked up, sharp hearing belying her years, and she turned her attention towards them.
"Please take your seat," she said, voice even if creaky. "Let's not get the school year started off on a sour note!"
Scootaloo grumbled, but took her seat without further protest.
The mare wrote her name on the chalkboard, speaking effortlessly around the chalk as she did so. "I would like to begin by welcoming you all to my classroom. I believe Miss Cheerilee taught you last year, so first let's go around the room and introduce ourselves. My name is Mrs. Sharpener and I've been teaching for far longer than I care to remember! Ohoho, the schoolhouse was just a single room when I started!" Her laughter was shared by but one student, whom she nodded to. "Now we'll begin with you, young lady. One at a time, please."
"My name'th Twitht and I love makin' candy caneth!"
"My name is Diamond Tiara and I am so over this class right now."
"I'm Sweetie Belle and I'm a Cutie Mark Crusader! That means I spend all my time crusading for my cutie mark!"
"Ugh, we know, knock it off already."
"Miss Tiara, please let your classmates have their turns, and remember to be polite!"
Sweetie Belle ignored the sparse laughter directed at her and the uproar for Diamond Tiara. As the introductions continued, she gave the new colt an extra-big smile to make him feel welcome, though she kind of got the feeling he wasn't paying attention to anything. In fact, his face pointed directly at the floor and it looked like he was mumbling to himself. He certainly didn't react when it came around to his turn.
Mrs. Sharpener moved to stand in front of his desk. "Now, young man, won't you tell us a little bit about yourself?"
The colt stood bolt upright on his hind legs and faced the classroom, his wide eyes just barely visible behind his tangled mane.
"Gravy Maximilian Whisk, 123 Cherry Overlook, Apartment F, East Manehattan, class 3-C, I have two dads!" he shouted, not stopping for breath. The entire class burst into raucous laughter and he sank back down into his chair, hiding behind the seat back as best he could.
"Now, now, children, the first day of school can be very frightening, especially if you've just moved from elsewhere." Mrs. Sharpener gave the newcomer a calm smile. "Gravy Whisk, is it? I'm sure you'll fit right in here, and all your classmates will do their best to help you get comfortable." She looked at the class over her glasses as she spoke. The hint was taken, though there were a few barely-suppressed snickers nevertheless.
After the rest of the introductions finished without a hitch, Mrs. Sharpener took up a fresh piece of chalk. "Good! Now class, today we're going to start with mathematics, and we've a lovely new concept for you all to learn: algebra!"
The class groaned.
Sweetie Belle panted, unable to keep up with her friend's wing-assisted galloping. "Scootaloo, wait! Wait up!"
The pegasus gave no acknowledgement as she rounded the outside corner of the schoolhouse, shouting, "Hey, new kid!"
Gravy Whisk turned, head held low to the blacktop, and eyed his pursuer with the look of one accustomed to the harsh stares of his judgmental peers. "M-m-me?"
Scootaloo rolled her eyes, hooves crossed over her chest. "Duhhhh! You don't see any other new kids around here, now do you?"
He shuffled back a step. "Uhh... I guess not..."
"What was that junk you said today about having two dads?"
"Oh..." Gravy Whisk's eyes shifted left and right, as if he were weighing options. Sweetie Belle arrived at that moment, trying to size up the situation as she caught her breath.
"W-well, my bio-dad's name is Brown Gravy, and..."
Scootaloo leaned sharply forward. "Bio-dad? What the hay is a bio-dad?"
Gravy Whisk winced. "It means 'biological'."
Scootaloo waggled her head, imitating the colt's high voice. "'It means biological'. What? Are you some kinda smarty-pants, new kid?"
Sweetie Belle tried to say something, but all that came out was a soft, "S-Scootaloo..."
Gravy Whisk shook his head hard enough mess up his already scruffy mane even more. "N-n-no, I'm not a smarty-pants. I'm n-not anything! You should just i-ignore me..."
Scootaloo blurred forward until she was nose-to-nose with the colt.
"You tryin' to tell me what to do, new kid? Well, let me tell you something: my name's Scootaloo, and I'm the fastest pony at this dumb school! If you've got a problem with me, you better tell me right now and we'll settle it!"
Sweetie searched for the right words, but the vehemence in her friend's voice held hers in check. "Scootaloo, what are you doing?"
Gravy Whisk backed away from his assailant as though she were on fire. "No, no, I don't have a problem with you. I promise I don't!"
Scootaloo rushed forward and shoved the smaller pony, who lost his balance and toppled over onto his side. He make no sound, nor did he try to get up.
Sweetie grabbed Scootaloo as best she could, having found her voice at long last. "Scootaloo, what's gotten into you? Stop it!"
The pegasus snorted. "New kid, I don't like you, so just stay outta my way, all right?" Then, as if noticing her friend's presence for the first time, she shrugged Sweetie off.
"Scootaloo, you're acting like a bully! That's not like you!" Tears burned at the corners of Sweetie's eyes. Scootaloo avoided looking at her. Tension grew as if it were a balloon being filled with air, only to be popped by the arrival of a very animated Apple Bloom.
"Hey Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo! Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon said if we paid them five bits each, they'd give us cutie shots, and that'll help us get our cutie marks!" She bounced in place, hair bow whipping back and forth against her poll. It took her a few moments to notice the presence of a fourth foal in their midst. "Hey, what's with the new kid, is he takin' a nap? That's silly! C'mon, we gotta figure out how to make some money, fast! Bye, new kid!"
She bounced off before any of them could say a word. Scootaloo made to follow, but Sweetie stopped her with a low, "Scootaloo..."
The pegasus paused. "If this kid is smart and stays outta my way, I won't touch him again." She kept her back to her friend, and her tone softened. "Promise. C'mon, recess is halfway over already, let's go." She took off without waiting to see if the unicorn had followed, mumbling, "Who ever heard of a 'cutie shot', anyway?"
Sweetie Belle moved over to Gravy Whisk, who remained motionless. Momentary panic rose in her throat. Oh my gosh, he's not hurt, is he? But he stirred as she drew close, looking over his shoulder, and she let out a sigh of relief.
"I'm really sorry," she said, "Scootaloo's not usually like that. I don't know what's wrong with her." She gave the colt a hoof getting up, and dusted him off with her tail. He flinched away from her.
She tried to make her grin as reassuring as possible. "My name's Sweetie Belle..."
The colt's voice was low and mumbled. "I know."
"Umm..." The sight of her other friends gathered by the swing set gave her pause. She didn't want to abandon them, but neither could she leave him here, not without saying something.
"It's okay, you don't have to be shy around me. We should play later, when Scootaloo isn't around." She cast a glare across the playground. Scootaloo remained unaware. Apple Bloom waved to her.
"Umm, I gotta go meet my friends. Why don't you go talk to Peachy Pie and Sunny Days?" Sweetie indicated the pair, playing hopscotch near the wall. "They're really nice."
"Um, okay..."
"G'bye, Gravy Whisk!"
"Bye, Sweetie Belle."
She headed off toward her friends, the uncertainty which knotted in her stomach shortening her stride like a weight on a chain.
Brown Gravy inhaled the warm midday air and puffed his chest out proudly as he gazed at the edifice. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
A horn pressed up near his temple. "Not nearly as beautiful as your eyes."
"Oh, shut up!" Brown shoved his olive companion playfully, laughing. He made a sweeping gesture with one hoof, and the empty, half-renovated storefront gaped invitingly back. "This place may be a dump right now, but when I look at it, all I can see are tables full of satisfied customers. Oh, Mush, this is gonna be swell!"
Mushroom Gravy nodded, savoring and sharing in his partner's enthusiasm. "You said it. The only thing I'm looking forward to more than the grand opening is more alone time with you, big guy."
Brown shook his head and chuckled. "Flatterer. You never quit, do you?"
Mushroom waggled his eyebrows. "You like it."
"Why, hello there!" said a cheerful voice from their right. They turned to see a matronly blue mare and a taller, gangly orange stallion headed their way. Brown instinctively took a half-step away from Mushroom.
"Might you be the new owners?" the stallion asked.
Brown cleared his throat. "Well, yes, we are..."
"Oh, I was just so happy to hear this old place had finally been bought!" the mare bubbled. "It's been looking so sad ever since the old owners moved to Fillydelphia. Ohh, goodness, where are my manners? I'm Cup Cake, and this is my husband, Carrot Cake! We own Sugarcube Corner, it's right back over there." She gestured behind herself, to the most ostentatious building in town, done up with cake layers, faux frosting and sprinkles like some grandiose, windowed parfait. "We're your new neighbors, don'tcha know!"
"That's swell!" said Brown. "Just swell! Well, I'm Brown Gravy, and this is my... friend, Mushroom..."
The atmosphere suddenly grew heavy, or maybe it was just his imagination. He could feel Mushroom's gaze trying to bore its way into his skull from behind the stocky unicorn's always-present sunglasses. The Cakes, all smiles, seemed none the wiser, but before the garrulous Cup Cake could launch into another monologue, Mushroom nudged Brown.
"Could we have a moment?" He wrapped a hoof around Brown's neck and spun him about before they could respond.
"Don't do this to me, Brown."
"This is Hicksville, Mush, you don't know what these ponies are like!"
"You're the one who wanted to go to 'Hicksville' to start a new life. I didn't take your name so you could leave it off when you introduce me."
"But what if they're like your parents?"
"Then they won't be anything we haven't dealt with before. Together." Mushroom released his grip, gave Brown a nudge, and they both about-faced, the unicorn clearing his throat.
"It's Mushroom Gravy," he said, matter-of-factly, finding a smile. "We're married."
"Oh!" The mare's eyes widened, and then she smiled warmly. "When you said 'friend', I... Ohh, I understand." She nodded vigorously.
Her husband leaned forward, his voice warm. "If you give 'em a chance, you'll find that ponies around here are pretty open-minded, fellas. Welcome to Ponyville." He held out a hoof.
Brown felt like a full tureen of broth had been lifted from his saddlebags. He reached out and shook the proffered hoof. "It's good to be here."
"Daaaad!"
A blur of brown, a shade darker than Brown's coat, came out of nowhere, vaulted Mushroom's back, and collided with Brown, knocking to the ground in a tackle hug.
Mrs. Cake jumped back a step. "Oh my goodness!"
"What, no hugs for Cool Dad?" Mushroom tapped his hoof on the ground. The colt sprang up and wrapped himself around the unicorn's neck.
Brown laughed and heaved himself back to his hooves. "Mr. and Mrs. Cake, I'd like you to meet our son, Gravy Whisk."
The pair smiled. "Why if he isn't just the cutest thing!"
"He looks like a real bundle of energy, he does!"
"Yeah, kids, I tell ya... Do you have any of your own?"
"Dad, dad, I wanna talk to you!"
"Well, no, actually, though we'll have to introduce you to Pinkie Pie."
"Not now, son, the adults are talking."
"She rents our upper loft, you see. She's quite a hooffull herself, but she's pretty much part of the family now!"
"Hey, why don't we go around back, kiddo? I'll show you the cool secret entrance I found!"
"Of course, if she finds out there are new neighbors, she'll be down here in a flash to greet you herself, so don't you worry about that!"
"But Mushroom..."
"Heh, she sounds delightful! I do look forward to making lots of new friends here!"
"Dad, seriously, we need to talk!"
"Like I said, Ponyville ponies are the friendliest I ever met!"
"I said in a minute, Whisk! Sorry, he gets excitable..."
"Oh, it's no problem! Actually, we should probably get going anyway, we were about to head to the post office to pick up a package. Ta-ta!"
"Well, it was nice meeting you folks!"
"Same to you! I hope you'll like it here!"
"I think we will!" Mushroom chuckled and waved as the two ponies moved off. Gravy Whisk, who at this point was all but dangling from his father's mane, started hopping up and down.
"Whoa, Whisk, all right, settle down, what is it?"
"IhatethisplaceandIwannagohome!"
Brown gave Mushroom a tired look, which he returned. They sighed, deflating slightly. "Not this again. Look, Whisk, we've been through this..."
"But the foals at school are mean to me! They said..." He trailed off, head hanging.
Brown nuzzled him. "What did they say?"
Whisk looked up, eyes brimming. "It was 'cuz I said I had two dads. I think."
Brown gave Mushroom another look. "Welcoming, huh?"
The unicorn shrugged. "They're kids, kids say dumb things."
Brown's jaw line set. "Yeah, because they hear those dumb things from their parents. Whisk, listen to me." He knelt down on the ground and put his face close to his child's. "We've been here three whole days now. You've been at school for one. Give this place a chance. After all, you can't judge a town by one incident, just like you..."
"...Like you can't judge a pony by his mane. I know, dad." Whisk let out a small sigh.
Brown smiled and nosed his son's mane, moving it out of his eyes. "Don't let one incident ruin your opinion of this place. Give it time. Just keep away from whoever said that to you and I'm sure you'll be able to make friends just fine. All right? Will you at least try, for me?"
Whisk gave another, longer sigh. Mushroom nudged him and smiled. "Things will always get better if you let them, Whisk. Don't you worry, your dads'll be right here if you need anypony to lean on."
"Okay. I'll try."
"That's a good colt." Brown heaved himself back up to his hooves. "Now why don't you and Cool Dad go check out that secret entrance? It's not gonna be there once the repairponies finish their work."
The colt's previous worry evaporated at the suggestion. "Okay!"
Brown gave Mushroom a nuzzle. "I've gotta go see what kinds of stores are around here so I can figure out distribution. I'll see you two at home, okay?"
"You got it, big guy. Love ya."
"Love you too."
Candymane was swiping a dish towel over a wet plate when the screen over the front door creaked open then slammed shut. Half a dozen times at least she'd scolded her daughter so far this year, but it never mattered: that was always the signal that Scootaloo was home. Candy's mother had always said she deserved to have a filly just like herself one day. Scoot's coloring was but the surface of that prediction.
"Mom! I'm home!"
She couldn't help but chuckle. "So I noticed. How was school?"
"Dumb."
As usual. "Don't say that, you know it's important."
"Whatever."
A backpack hit the couch and hooves raced across the tile of their tiny apartment kitchen. "Stop running around, what's with you today?" What isn't with her any day, really?
"Mom, I have, like, a real tough question for you."
Candy turned, to see Scoot reclining in a chair at the opposite end of the table from her, sipping a juice box. She definitely had not heard the refrigerator door open. Whipping the dish towel over her withers, she pulled out the other chair and sat down, putting on her Mom Knows Everything face. If only it was more than a face. Foals need instruction manuals.
Mom Time, Candy, pull it together. "What's up, Scoot?"
The filly swished juice around in her mouth for a few moments before swallowing. "Can two stallions have a foal?"
Had Candymane been drinking anything at that point, her daughter would have been coated in it. "Uh..."
Her mind locked up. This isn't the time to be having The Talk! How far do I go? What's she learning at school? Is she at the age that foals start passing around naughty trading cards in class? No, no, she's still too young... I think. But aren't foals doing everything earlier nowadays? She's waiting for an answer, Candy. Oh, where's that manual when you need it?
"...No."
Scoot for her part seemed nonplussed by the statement. "So you need a mom and a dad to make a foal, right?"
Candymane nodded. There was a silence. "W-why do you ask?"
She shrugged. "No reason. Just something dumb a new kid at school said." She took another sip of her juice. Candymane let herself relax.
A single eye turned toward her, as Scootaloo slowly and deliberately asked, "So who'd you make me with?"
Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. Candy nearly fell out of her chair. You should've seen this coming, you never should have let your guard down! She noticed the dish towel was in her hooves, and she was wrapping it around and around itself, tighter and tighter, braiding it like a rope.
"Mom..."
"Um, well..." She glanced up. "L-look at the time, honey! I need to get ready for work!" She managed to push up from the chair without knocking it over somehow, her knees shaking like her legs were about to fall off.
In a flash, Scootaloo moved to block her exit from the kitchen, eyes narrowed. "You have to tell me! How come I don't have a dad? And don't say I'm too young to understand, because I'm not!"
Candy stared into her daughter's eyes, willing her to silence, to some other line of questioning, anything. In those eyes, she saw the eyes of another pegasus, one larger than herself, who promised her money, happiness, a future that never arrived. She saw those eyes dance away into the darkness, laughing, as tiny hooves kicked within her.
Candy sighed in defeat. "Your father was not a very nice pony." She sat back on her haunches, eyes averted from her offspring, her voice a whisper. "I was young when I met him, and I thought I was in love with him."
"Was he a pegasus like me?"
"Yes." She shut her eyes tight. "And I thank Celestia every day that wings are all you got from him."
Scootaloo's resolve shifted and she leaned forward, placing a hoof on her mother's foreleg gently. "Mom, I'm sorry I made you upset."
"I'm not upset," Candy said, sniffing back tears. "I just..." She reached forward and pulled the filly into a soft embrace. "I'm sorry I'm not great at being a mom. I try, I really do, but I'm so afraid that I just let you down over and over..."
She drew in a ragged breath and sniffed hard, wiping at her nose with a free hoof. Scoot, for her part, seemed entirely unfazed, though she snuggled in closer.
"I think you do okay, mom."
"Thanks..." Swallowing, she added, "I'll tell you his name one day, when you're older. If you want."
Scoot nodded. "Don't worry about it." Then she drew back, as if the moment had never occurred. "You're gonna be late for work again; better get going."
Candy couldn't help but smile as she hauled herself back onto still-unsteady legs. "Thanks, Scootaloo. Dinner's in the fridge."
"Hey, it's Gravy Whisk!" Sweetie tugged at her sister's saddlebag, hopping in place. "Rarity, he's the new student I told you about!"
"Then let's go say hello, dear." Rarity turned from their path to the marketplace and moved to intercept the trio. "If they're new, as you say, then it is only proper that we welcome them all to Ponyville! Yoo-hoo, hello there!"
"Hi, Whisk!"
The three ponies stopped and turned to look at them. "Hello!" said the earth pony. "Whisk, is this maybe one of your little friends?"
"Um..." The colt hid behind his mane as best he could. "Maybe."
"I'm Sweetie Belle and this is my sister Rarity! We wanted to say, 'Welcome to Ponyville'! And your sunglasses are really cool!" Sweetie began bouncing up and down again as Rarity smiled and moved forward to shake the brown stallion's hoof.
The green unicorn smiled. "Thanks, kid!"
Rarity tossed her mane gently. "You'll have to forgive my sister, she's... excitable."
"It's no trouble at all, Miss Rarity. My name's Brown Gravy, this is my son Whisk, and this is my husband, Mushroom." He paused just long enough before 'husband' for it to be noticeable.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Brown Gravy!" Rarity turned to shake Mushroom's hoof, but instead he grasped hers gently and leaned forward.
"Enchantée, mademoiselle," he said, kissing her hoof. "Une aurore lumineuse brille ici devant mes yeux."
Rarity giggled, her cheeks turning red. "My word, if you aren't quite the charmer!"
Brown smirked and threw his hoof over Mushroom's neck. "Oh, he is. Glad I got to him first." He leaned over and kissed the unicorn on the cheek, and straightened back up as a sudden burst of pink flooded in between them. Eyes wide, they both took an involuntary step backward as the rush of pony began to jabber excitedly.
"Whoa, hi, is it kissing time already? That's okay, you don't have to kiss me, but I do have to say, ah-HA, I found you at last!" She threw her hooves in the air triumphantly, accompanied by a blast of kazoo noise and a cloud of confetti. "I've been hearing and hearing that there were new ponies in town, and even Mr. and Mrs. Cake said they met you, but I haven't seen hide nor hair nor mail nor tail of any of you until right this very second, and that got me so frustrated because I just can't stand not meeting new ponies when there are new ponies who haven't yet been met by me! So now that we've all met, I can say, hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I'm here to invite you all to a party in your honor to welcome you to Ponyville!"
She extended her forelegs to a length far greater than should have been physically possible and swept all three Gravies into a massive hug. "Yeehah! It'll be tomorrow evening in Sugarcube Corner, and there'll be cake and dancing and punch and party games and everypony who's anypony will be there to make friends with you! I'd love to stay and chat, but I have party preparations to prepare! Nopony tell Applejack I stole her catchphrase! Byeeee!" She disappeared in a puff of pink cloud, leaving the stallions ruffled and stunned.
"Who... what..."
"Whoa," said Mushroom, quickly readjusting his sunglasses. "I dig her, man."
Rarity laughed softly. "Pinkie Pie can have that effect. Trust me when I say, her parties really are the best. I do look forward to seeing you there!" Her eyes sparkled and she clapped her hooves together. "Why, that gives me a marvelous idea! If you have a moment, why don't you all come with us to my boutique? I'll take your measurements and make you something darling to wear at your party tomorrow!" She pranced in place for a moment. "Ohh, this is exciting!"
"But Rarity," Sweetie said, "weren't we supposed to go grocery shopping?"
"Oh my goodness!" Rarity ceased all prancing and pouted instead. "In all the excitement, I completely forgot! Yes, groceries, and new thread, and... I'm sorry, gentleponies, we must be off, errands to run and all! But could you stop by later today, say around two?"
Brown and Mushroom looked at each other, and Brown shrugged. "I suppose so. But, what sort of price are we talking about, Miss..."
"Tut!" Rarity held up her hoof. "The chance to design for new friends is its own reward! You needn't worry about a thing, my dears!"
Mushroom smiled. "We'd be honored, then!"
Rarity grinned. "It's settled! I'll see you both at two, and we'll get a fitting done! Au revoir till then, it was lovely meeting you both!"
"Adieu!"
"Goodbye!"
"Bye, Whisk, I'll see you in school!"
"Um, bye..."
"All right everypony, settle down. Take your seats please!"
A paper glider drifted across the room and out the window over Sweetie Belle's head, and the previously silent class broke out into a fit of snickering. Mrs. Sharpener, for her part, blithely ignored their antics as she chalked on the board:
LIFE LESSONS: EGG CARE
"Now then, class, today we'll be starting your first long-term project." She ignored the chorus of groans with equal aplomb. "You're all a year older now and ready for a bigger workload, not to mention you're ready to learn about responsibility."
She moved behind her desk, producing a wicker basket which she set atop it. It was filled with hay, atop which sat a dozen white eggs. On each had been drawn a simple, slightly goofy looking face, in thick, black marker.
"Your task for this project will be to take care of one of these eggs for a period of one month. The goal is to learn how to be responsible for another. Your grade will be based on keeping the egg in good condition. Also, you'll be working on this project in pairs."
The groans worsened. Unmoved, she pulled out an inverted top hat from behind the desk and set it beside the basket. "In here, I've placed the names of every student on this side of the room-" she motioned towards the side which included Sweetie and Scootaloo- "so Apple Bloom, why don't you come up and draw the first name?"
Apple Bloom did so, rummaging around in the hat with a hoof, face drawn up tight with concentration. Drawing forth a small slip of paper, she unfolded it and jumped up with a cry of, "Sweetie Belle!" Sweetie grinned, sharing her friend's elation from across the room, before she realized what that meant. Turning her head to the right, she frowned apologetically at a blasé Scootaloo and mouthed, "Sorry". The pegasus shrugged.
Mrs. Sharpener nudged Apple Bloom back to her seat. "Now, let's not take all day about it, class."
One by one, the students on the right side of the room got up and drew a name. Silver Spoon stalked back to her seat, glaring daggers in Twist's direction. Sweetie figured she hadn't realized that since she and Diamond Tiara sat next to each other, there was no way they could be partners for the project, the same as her and Scootaloo. Archer pulled Peachy Pie and Sunny Days, Snips. By the time Gravy Whisk got up, more than half the class had been paired off. He rummaged around in the hat, drew a name, read it, and immediately dropped the slip.
"No!"
It was the loudest Sweetie had ever heard him speak. He leaned in toward Mrs. Sharpener, speaking animatedly, but too quietly to be made out over the excited murmuring of her classmates. Who'd he get? was the question on everypony's lips. Even Sweetie found herself caught up in the anticipation as Mrs. Sharpener shook her head and intoned,
"Now, now, the decisions are random, thus fair, and they are final. Not everypony gets to partner with their friend. Consider it a lesson in learning to get along, atop everything else. Now take your seat, please."
The eyes of every pony in the class followed his slow lope back to his seat. Sweetie gasped as he turned, just as slowly, to face them as Snails went up to the hat. Scootaloo remained unmoving until Sweetie poked her, motioning to the front of the class. Whisk, his face a picture of dejection and horror, held up the slip of paper with Scootaloo's name on it.
Her jaw dropped.
"No. Way."
"All right, so here's how it's gonna go."
Their egg safely ensconced in a small basket, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked on nervously as Scootaloo paced up and down outside the schoolhouse in front of her newly appointed project partner.
"We have to do this stupid project together, so we're gonna do it, and I'm gonna teach you what you're doing wrong, okay? Rainbow Dash always says, you have to turn obstacles into opportunities, so I'm gonna turn this into one, right now!"
"W... Wha..." Gravy Whisk bit his lower lip, shrinking back as Scootaloo narrowed her eyes at him.
"Speak up, partner! Nopony can hear you!"
"Scootaloo..."
"Shh, Apple Bloom. Let the colt talk."
"Um." Whisk swallowed. "W-what is it I'm doing wrong?"
A wide grin slowly spread outward from the center of Scootaloo's face. Whisk flinched as she reached up and patted him gently on the head. "I was hoping you'd ask that question!" She cleared her throat and raised their egg aloft, turning its markered-on face to gaze at him, mouth askew.
"This egg came from a chicken." She closed her eyes, chin lifting ever so slightly. "A rooster had to put the egg into the chicken, because you need a rooster and a chicken to make an egg, which then becomes a chick."
The four foals were silent for a long moment. Then Apple Bloom spoke up.
"Uhh, Scootaloo, what in the hay does that even mean?"
Scootaloo rolled her eyes and snorted. "Do I have to say it? It means that Gravy Whisk here can't have two dads like he says he does. I even asked my mom! You have to have a mom and a dad to make a foal, just like you need a rooster and a chicken to make an egg, and not two roosters." She shrugged. "I dunno how exactly you make a foal after that, but whatever, that's good enough for me. Gravy Whisk is doing it wrong and I don't wanna hear any more about this two dads stuff." She closed her eyes, a smug grin on her face.
The brown colt backed up a step, but his expression hardened. "Don't say that."
"Say what? It's a fact!"
Whisk shook his head, his voice growing louder with every word. "I've got two dads and they both love me and I love them! And you're not gonna take them away!"
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "I'm not gonna take them away, dummy, I just want you to stop lying about it! They're not really your dads!"
"Don't you say that!"
All four stepped forward at once. Whisk tried to butt his forehead into Scootaloo's, though given her height advantage, it was more directly into her muzzle. The other two Crusaders pushed between them, Sweetie wrestling with Whisk while Apple Bloom held back a shocked Scootaloo, who brought a hoof to her face in disbelief.
"You hit me, you little twerp!"
"Scootaloo, knock it off!"
"Serves you right, bully!"
"Whisk, she doesn't mean it, stop!"
Scootaloo growled and surged forward, knocking Apple Bloom and Sweetie over, and swung out with the only thing she had on hoof: the egg.
A stunned moment passed. The egg's yolk slid to the blacktop with a soft plip, leaving behind a trail of albumen and eggshell in Whisk's mane. He could do nothing but stare at her, as tears formed in the corners of her eyes.
"Why's everypony have to be against me?" Scootaloo yelled. "Why can't you understand?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned and galloped off into the playground, wings buzzing to provide extra lift between strides.
Sweetie Belle held out a hoof to stop Apple Bloom from following. Apple Bloom gave her a pleading look.
"But she's our friend!"
Sweetie scrunched her face into a grimace. "She's not acting like our friend. Let her go cry, I don't care anymore." She turned to the colt. "Whisk, are you okay? I'm so sorry about this, lemme help clean you up."
She tried to summon up magic to wipe away the egg white, but produced nothing more than a tiny shower of sparks. Sighing, she smiled apologetically. Apple Bloom tapped her on the shoulder, proffering a hanky.
"Here, I guess I might as well help ya. But then I'm goin' after Scoot. We can't just abandon her."
"Well, I'm not abandoning Whisk," Sweetie Belle said with a sniff. She wiped the handkerchief haphazardly over his face. "And, uh, guess I'm not gonna get an egg-cleaning cutie mark..." She smiled, but there was no emotion behind it.
"Say, uh... Gravy Whisk..." Apple Bloom frowned. "How come y'ain't cryin' or nothin'? I mean, Scoots is bein' real mean to you an' all..."
Whisk, who had until that point been staring blankly ahead, suddenly cracked a smile at her.
"That was kinda funny." He glanced over to Sweetie and started laughing softly. "I mean... the egg. It happened to me... but it's still kinda funny, if you think about it..."
The fillies exchanged looks.
"Actually, Whisk," said Sweetie, "if you think about it? You're both gonna get an F on that project now."
The colt's face sank, his eyes growing wide, his laughter drying up. "Oh. Um..." Shrinking back in on himself, he lowered his gaze to the ground slightly beneath Apple Bloom's front hooves. "I think I'm gonna cry now," he whispered, and did so.
"So tell me, Mr. Brown, how did you two meet?"
Mushroom ducked as a bolt of fabric whizzed over his head, and continued to be amazed at the amount of magical control Rarity possessed. He could perform simple levitations as well as any other unicorn, or so he'd thought, but the amount of objects that Rarity was able to control at once was staggering. At the moment, she was floating no fewer than three bolts of cloth, a pincushion, half a dozen straight pins, a partially finished suit that was still mostly held together by more pins, and her glasses, which she continually raised and lowered over her eyes as she scrutinized the details of the suits he and Brown were modelling. Each of these things moved entirely independent of one another, and swirled about the perimeter of the room when not immediately in use.
Brown cleared his throat. "It was shortly after my wife died."
"Oh my!" Rarity stood straight up, shock readable on her face. "My condolences, Brown Gravy, I had no idea."
Brown smiled and inclined his head slightly. Mushroom pressed a hoof to his shoulder, only to have it magically returned to its original position as Rarity pinned the cuff up.
Brown's getting better at telling this story. He smiled at Brown, lending quiet support. Hay, he's actually telling it instead of waving it away. But that pain on his face hasn't gone away... It hurts so much to see you hurting. It hurts that you aren't done hurting yet, Brown.
"She was Gravy Whisk's mother, a pegasus named Reed Song. She'd never been very strong, physically, and carrying a child just... used her up. After he was born, she never fully recovered..." He took a deep breath. "Whisk doesn't remember her very much; he was four when she passed. I'm just glad he doesn't recall the hours we spent at her bedside, watching as she wasted away..." He cleared his throat. "I still wish he'd known her better. You too, Mushroom; if you'd met her, you would have gotten along really well."
Mush nodded. "We share similar taste in colts, after all." His smile disappeared as he thought ahead to what came next.
Brown nodded, then ducked his head as Rarity positioned a collar around his neck. "Anyway, I... I got really depressed, as you might imagine. I didn't have much time to think about it, with a foal to care for on my own and all, but it ate away at me. I started spending most of my bits on foalsitting so I could waste the rest at salt bars."
Rarity paused in her work to pout sympathetically. "Oh my stars! However did you get out of it?"
A corner of Brown's mouth twitched. "One of my coworkers found me, passed out dehydrated in an alley. He took me to rehab, got me fixed up, made sure Whisk was taken care of. And then the most important thing: he made me attend a grieving spouses' group. That's where I met Mush."
"I'd lost my partner to disease a few months earlier," Mushroom said. "We all shared our grief in that place, but something else sparked between Brown and me. We got to be really good friends." A smile found its way back onto his face.
"Neither of us was really looking for a relationship, of course, and I..." Brown flushed slightly. "Well, I had no idea I could ever find happiness with another stallion, you know?"
Rarity smiled at him, nodding.
Mushroom grinned. "Brown was still in a pretty bad place; taking care of him was a way for me to work through my own pain. Plus, Whisk was so gosh-darn cute, I couldn't stay away after I'd gotten to know him."
Brown nuzzled him. "After the counseling session ended that year, we just started hanging out a lot. Mush did things around the house for me, and pretty soon I realized that he was an irreplaceable part of my life."
Mushroom leaned towards Rarity conspiratorially. "I had to make the first move, though. He's such a scaredy-pants sometimes, can you believe it?" The designer tittered, covering her mouth demurely, and adjusted a seam.
"A dashing charmer like you, Mushroom? I'm surprised you didn't have to fight him off with a stick!"
Rarity and Mushroom shared a laugh as Brown's blush intensified.
"It was kind of weird at first," he said, visibly fighting back a smile. "I mean, there were a lot of... factors that I just hadn't considered. Like..." Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention: Mushroom shaking his head the tiniest bit. The white unicorn, her back turned, missed the gesture.
"Well, like lots of things, really. But we took it slow. I think it was... two years before I proposed?"
"Yes," said Mushroom with a smile. "And just like my guy, it was nothing flashy, just a nice picnic in the park and then, wham. I honestly hadn't been expecting it; we got married later the same year."
"Simple though it may be, that is quite the romantic tale!" Rarity hummed to herself. "Head down for a moment please, Mushroom. So what brought the two of you to Ponyville?"
"Business!" Brown exclaimed, eyes shining. "After cleaning up and getting my life in order, I tried opening a restaurant in Manehattan, but that didn't go so well; it's a rough town to get started in. Ponyville was... well, it's a fresh start, and I'm all for those."
"A new restaurant? How lovely! I shall have to attend your grand opening. Do tell me more!"
Brown grinned, launching into salespony mode. "Well, it's called Soup's On! and we'll be specializing in soups and sauces. That's what my cutie mark stands for, after all. Add to that Mushroom's nose for his namesakes and we're going to brew up some really great food, the likes of which I bet you've never seen in Ponyville!"
Rarity's clarion laughter was crystalline and pure as running water, and she fixed him with a stare from over her glasses. "I shall take that as a challenge, Mr. Gravy! Rarity is far more refined a pony than most you will meet in Ponyville!"
"Indeed you..." Mushroom was cut off as the door chime rang. In trotted a small white unicorn filly alongside a very messy, dejected Gravy Whisk. The filly was chattering animatedly at the colt, who plodded ahead, uninterested in what she was saying.
"...And then I'll show you where we go canoeing, it's a lot of fun, and then..."
"Sweetie Belle! Whatever is going on?"
"Whisk, are you all right, son?"
"Hey Whisk, looks like you made a friend!"
"Mr. Brown, please stay where you are, you'll tear the seam!"
"Hi dad, hi dad. I got egg on my face."
"Tell us what happened, sport."
Gravy Whisk drew in a deep breath and then let loose a single, miserable moan that all but explained everything. The expressions of the three adults hung gradually lower as they listened to his tale of what had happened behind the schoolhouse, and Sweetie verified the details. Rarity clucked her tongue once the foal had finished his story.
"Sweetie Belle, why did you wait until coming all the way here before washing his face? No, not a word, young lady, you take him straight upstairs and get him cleaned up."
"Yes, Rarity."
The unicorn smiled. "It's nice meeting you, Whisk. Your fathers have told me a lot about you. Go and wash up now, there's a good colt."
Brown stared, slightly agog, as Rarity commanded the pair while never once taking her attention away from their suit forms.
"She's your...?"
"Sister," Rarity said primly. "Now, I really cannot express just how embarrassed I am to hear that Scootaloo is acting in such a fashion. It's silly, she's only my little sister's friend, but I've known her for quite some time now and I almost feel responsible. She's rambunctious, yes, all foals can be, but a bully? I never. I simply must apologize, on behalf of the town if nothing else."
Brown shook his head. "There's no need, really. But I intend to get to the bottom of... Mush, what's so funny?"
Mushroom let out the guffaw that he'd been holding back, the pins on his suit form tinkling. "That kid! He cracks me up, I love him so much! Did you hear how he laughed after she smacked him with the egg? He's tougher than he thinks! What a champ!"
Brown boggled at his husband, speechless. Rarity took the opportunity to put a few finishing touches on Mushroom's jacket.
"Very well, Mushroom, I do believe I have the design for your ensemble finalized. You're all set! Now, I've nothing overly fancy in mind, but you will both look smashing at your party, if I do say so myself! Brown, if you would? I had a fantastic idea just now, so I'll have to keep you just a teensy-weensy bit longer."
"That's all right," Mushroom said, ducking his head as Rarity removed the clothing from him. "I was thinking it's long past time for me to explore the local forests for fungi. Need to know what we'll have for supplies, after all!"
"Oh, do be careful, dear," Rarity said, frowning at him. "The Everfree Forest is very dangerous; you really should stick to the Whitetail Woods."
"Ahh, but Lady Rarity, faint heart never won fair mushroom." He lifted her hoof and kissed it, while Brown took a swat at his flank. "And as for you, mister..." Mushroom leaned up and planted an overzealous smooch on Brown's lips. "I'll see you later."
The two ponies watched, one slightly horrified and the other thoroughly amused, as Mushroom sauntered, hips swaying, out of the boutique.
"However do you put up with him?"
"I... wish I knew."
Mushroom couldn't believe his luck. Even the outer fringes of the Everfree Forest, impenetrable as they were, yielded a veritable feast of mushrooms, of such variety as he had never seen in a location twice this size. With a basket full of specimens, one saddlebag already bulging with edibles and the other half-full, he pranced from tree to fallen log, gleefully ignoring the rustles and growls from deeper in the woods, a light tune on his lips.
"Mushroom, my boy, your career is set! You don't know what this is, you don't know what that is, but soon you will, and then you will publish, and then you will get all the money and be at the top of your field again! This is just fantastic!"
It was this boisterous merrymaking that kept him from hearing another's approach. Rising after having scraped a particularly vibrant orange mold sample from a rotten stump, he found himself face to face with a black-striped muzzle.
He would later describe the sound he made as "not a girly scream in the least".
"Greetings, fine pony! I must be a sight. I hope that my face did not give too much fright."
"No, uh..." The unicorn took a few slow, deep breaths. "Let me just stuff my heart back into my body and we'll be fine."
"A pleasure to meet you; Zecora is my name. I must beg your forgiveness, and ask you the same."
Mushroom straightened his shades and extended a hoof, a gesture which the zebra did not seem to understand. "No worries. I'm Mushroom Gravy, and..." He pulled a face. "Oh shoot, I didn't think to ask about land rights. I'm not invading your forest, am I? I mean, if I am, I hope you don't mind, because it's not going to be very easy to put these back." He held the basket up, catching the zebra's attention, though she shook her head.
"I am but a tenant; I live here alone. The forest, it is not mine to own."
"Haha, well! That's a relief." Mushroom cleared his throat and wiped his forehead. "Well, it was nice meeting you, I should get back to work, though..."
The zebra stepped forward. "Please, I must ask you: I am in great need. Can you help a young pony, recently treed?"
Mushroom winced, trying to wrap his head around the convoluted rhymes. "Treed, you mean... Somepony's stuck in a tree?"
The zebra nodded. "The height, it is great; my legs do not extend; which means I must seek out help from a friend."
Mushroom nodded, placing his picking knife into his saddlebag and lifting his specimen basket. "Then please, lead on, friend Zecora!"
As they trudged further into the trees, Mushroom was suddenly glad that he'd not attempted pressing in past the forest's outermost edge on his own. As deep in as they were, the paths had become nonexistent, and every tree looked like another. Shapes danced at the edges of his vision, and strange sounds came from nowhere. Though Mushroom found his surroundings increasingly more terrifying, Zecora's step never wavered.
"Y-you know, I've never met a zebra before today, but I suddenly find myself very appreciative of your kind."
Zecora looked back at him and smiled, raising an eyebrow. He suddenly became very interested in the leaf litter.
"I swear I am referring only to your trailblazing skills," he said, swallowing.
If Zecora had planned a reply, it was cut short by the soft sound of crying.
"Ahh! The sobs grow stronger; we have found the place, where the little filly has hidden her face."
The path suddenly widened, though the foliage overhead was so tangled that hardly any sunlight made it through to the forest floor. For a clearing, it was distinctly not clear in the least.
"Scootaloo!" Zecora shouted at a particularly large and overgrown tree. "I return, and ask: come down! This pony will take you back into town!"
Did she say...? Mushroom looked up. At almost the edge of his sight was an orange and purple blob, from which emanated the sobbing. There was the sound of someone hurriedly wiping their nose.
"I'm not comin' down! Go away, Zecora!"
"Hey, kiddo," Mushroom called, hoping he was loud enough to be heard, "don't you have a mom and dad who're worried about you?"
"Just a mom!" the filly snapped. After a moment, in a lower tone, she added, "She probably is worried. I guess maybe I should come down."
"You need help?"
The orange filly shifted. "Hang on, lemme... Erk, huh... Umm... Yeah, I guess so. It's kinda high."
Mushroom set his basket down and concentrated. He hadn't exactly been top of his class in levitation, and the larger the object, and the further away it was, the harder it was to manipulate. Scootaloo was at the very greatest extent of his magic, and he couldn't get enough of a hold on her to do any good.
"The filly seems to be quite stuck," Zecora began.
Mushroom's brow furrowed. "Then it's about time I made my own luck!" He changed his focus to the branch on which Scootaloo was caught, shifting it aside. "All right, kid, let's do this together! Move down a bit and I'll make you a path out."
She nodded and he began shifting branches about, creating a makeshift ladder rung by rung as she moved. In minutes, she was low enough to the ground that she jumped down, skipping the last few branches, with a shout of, "Cutie Mark Crusader Base Jumper, yay!" She hit the ground on all four hooves, shook herself off, and looked up at them. Her smile quickly faded.
"Except I'm not gonna be a Cutie Mark Crusader anymore..." She sighed, and Mushroom immediately found his fatherly instincts kicking in.
Funny, never used to think I'd have those...
"You look like you could use a friend, kiddo. My name's Mushroom; I'll walk you back to Ponyville, okay?"
The filly's smile returned, but softer. "I'm Scootaloo. Thanks, Mister Mushroom. You too, Zecora."
The zebra bowed.
"Will you be all right if we head out?" Mushroom asked her.
Zecora nodded. "The outgoing pathways are far more clear; the difficult part is in entering here."
Mushroom looked back the way they had come. The path towards the light was obvious, even to him, when before it had been nothing but a wall of leaves and branches. Rarity's warning came back to him and he made a note to never in the future disregard her words.
"Well, it was nice meeting you, Zecora. I hope we meet again. C'mon, kid, you want a ride?"
"Nah, I'll walk. Bye Zecora, see you later!"
They left the zebra waving and moved out of the clearing. Mushroom waited a few minutes and, after Scootaloo said nothing, finally spoke up.
"So what were you doing crying in that tree?"
She turned her head away. "Wasn't crying."
"Mmm." He nodded, and waited a few moments longer. "I bet you weren't hiding, either."
"Nope."
He was about to speak again when she opened her mouth. "It's that dumb new kid!"
"What dumb new kid?"
"Gravy Whisk. Dumb name. Him and his dumb cutie mark came here and stole my friends and now everypony hates me!"
Mushroom was suddenly glad he hadn't mentioned his last name. "Why would anypony hate you? You seem pretty nice to me."
"Yeah, well..." She searched about. "It's complicated."
"Why don't you tell me? We've got a bit of a walk ahead of us, after all."
Scootaloo gave him a look, took a deep breath, and launched into her tale. The deviations from the previous tale he'd heard quickly became apparent, his eyebrows slowly raising behind his sunglasses as they made their way through the forest back to town.
For Brown, the rest of the day was a blur of suit fittings, meetings with distributors and the Mayor, and worrying over his son.
"Whisk, please, come to this party. The whole town is turning out to welcome us; you'll see that ponies aren't so bad here."
The brown colt sat on the bed with his back to his father, pouting audibly.
"No. They'll all laugh at me. Or..." His voice got soft. "Or worse, they'll laugh at you and Mushroom."
Brown moved over and placed a hoof on his son's shoulder. "They aren't going to laugh at us. I've already met quite a few ponies in this town, and they've all been nothing but friendly."
A sniff. "You promise?"
"Cross my heart and hope to fly. If anypony even so much as thinks of laughing at us, they'll get the business end of the Gravy family ladle!"
Whisk's head turned and he smiled. "Okay, dad. I'll go."
Brown nuzzled him. "Go brush your mane, it's almost time to leave. Mushroom's meeting us there, so we don't have to wait up."
He busied himself fussing with his new suit, a snazzy black affair that somehow stood out against his coat without actually making him stand out. He found the simple lines pleasing, and he was very glad that Rarity had spared him the ruffles and crushed velvet that adorned his partner's outfit. A little mane gel, a quick combing, and he was as ready as he would ever be.
"You doing all right in there, son?"
"Uh-huh!"
"Did you have a good time with your new friend?"
There was a momentary silence. "You mean Sweetie Belle?"
"Of course!"
Whisk's little head poked out of the doorway. "Gee... You mean she's really my friend?"
Brown turned away, holding back laughter with great difficulty. "Sure she is! Who else would help you wash your face other than a friend?"
More silence; then, "Wow! I never thought about it that way before!" He grew more and more excited with each word. "I have a friend! Maybe... Dad, maybe this school isn't so bad, after all!"
Brown released a sigh and sank to his haunches, eyes closed and knees quaking. "Finally," he murmured, "thank you, Celestia." Aloud, he said, "That's great to hear! Now come on, are you ready?"
His foal sprang into the hallway from his bedroom, his neatly combed mane poofing back out to its usual state of disarray as he did so. "Yup!"
Brown laughed and tousled his son's mane. "Let's go, then."
"As Mayor of Ponyville, allow me to be the first to officially welcome the three of you to our fair town!"
Brown applauded with the rest of the room, not having the heart to mention that she had not, in fact, been the first to welcome them.
"May your business thrive in our community and may you all have many friends in your futures!" The Mayor's eyes glinted slightly as she mentioned the business. More applause followed her speech, which died out quickly as ponies turned to the food and drink set up in Sugarcube Corner. The Mayor continued, oblivious to the fact that nopony was paying attention to her anymore.
"And now, allow me to lead us in the traditional Ponyville Welcoming Dance! A-one, a-two..."
She was rudely interrupted by a pink pony butting against her backside. "Cool it, Mayor, no one does that goofy dance anymore! It's time to get down and par-tay!" An explosion of confetti went off at just that moment, followed by loud party music. The floor filled with ponies dancing, laughing, and partaking of the copious amounts of cake and punch.
Pinkie had told them earlier that she was trying a new approach to partying, a combination of welcome party and buffet line. Brown and Mushroom stood on a raised platform at one end of the room, where ponies could line up to greet them and shake hooves, while she personally made sure they were supplied with as many goodies as they desired. It was, she'd assured them, very cutting-edge, and certain to revolutionize party-going for decades to come.
"The only thing being revolutionized right now," muttered Mushroom between well-wishers, "are the blisters on my hooves."
Brown could only agree. Luckily, Whisk had been saved from their fate. Brown had indulged his son's shyer nature, letting him get away to say hello to Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom when they arrived early on with their sisters.
"I'm so not going to remember any of these names tomorrow," he said to Mushroom under his breath.
"That's why you have me. Well, for that and for looking awesome." The unicorn swished his tail, turning in a circle to show off the outfit he had dubbed 'swanky' for the fourth time that evening. Brown laughed and hip-bumped him, rubbing heads affectionately.
"Ew, gay," said a surly voice from the side.
Something caught in Brown's throat as he looked over at a bright green unicorn mare, nose wrinkled, standing with a cream-colored earth mare, who stared at her, aghast.
"Lyra!" Was all she could say, before dragging her companion over to them by the ear.
"You'll have to excuse my wife," she growled, more to Lyra than to Brown and Mushroom, "she's eccentric and... crude."
Wife? Brown cleared his throat. "Uhh... No offense taken, then, I suppose. I'm Brown Gravy, and this is Mushroom, Gravy that is." He hoped he could stop doing that sooner rather than later.
"I'm Bon-Bon Heartstrings, and this is Lyra." She shook their outstretched hooves while Lyra scowled at the far wall. "We, and I do mean we, would like to invite you to our monthly married couples' get-togethers. Ponyville's mostly daters and singles, so it's usually not more than us and the Cakes. Having a new couple to spend time with would be wonderful!"
"Sounds good! Mush, what d'you think?"
Mushroom smiled. "We'd be delighted."
Bon-Bon nodded. "Great! I'll let you know when the next one is. Sorry again about Lyra, I think we'll be going now." She placed her forehead against Lyra's rump and began pushing her towards the door as the unicorn protested.
"What? They're totally gay!"
"You are gay!"
"Your face is gay!"
"Oh, we are not doing this!"
Mushroom started laughing. "Ohh, and here I thought that was going to end poorly! These Ponyvillians are really a fun bunch."
Brown released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Yes, definitely... charming."
"Mmm, speaking of which, you'll never guess who I ran into today: that filly, Scootaloo."
"Oh, so you're the one who rescued my daughter! Thank you so much!"
Brown turned to see a light-orange earth mare with pink-striped mane, her hoof outstretched. "Welcome to Ponyville! I'm Candymane, it's nice to meet you both."
Mushroom shook the proffered hoof while Brown stood, mind churning.
"I'm Mushroom Gravy, and this oaf is Brown. Shake her hoof, what's with you?"
Brown swallowed, doing so. "You're Scootaloo's mother?"
"Yes..."
He sucked in a breath. "I've been wanting to ask you just what..."
"Scootaloo, stop!"
Across the room, Sweetie stood between the pegasus and Whisk, head lowered threateningly. Apple Bloom was looking frantically between her two friends, her face a picture of indecision.
"I'm not gonna let you hurt him!"
"Sweetie, get out of the way, I just wanna talk!"
The partygoers for the most part didn't notice the commotion, though Brown, Mushroom and Candymane had.
"...That, actually," Brown finished.
The mare took a step forward, face determined. "What is going on over there? Somepony needs to put a stop to..."
She was blocked by an olive hoof. Mushroom shook his head. "Not yet, trust me. Just watch and listen."
They turned their attentions back to the foals.
"...his fault!" Scootaloo shouted. "If it hadn't been for him, we wouldn't be fighting right now!"
"What do you have against Gravy Whisk? Ever since he showed up, you've been nothing but a bully to him!"
Scootaloo pressed her head up against Sweetie's. "Nopony's ever asked me how I feel about any of this! It's like you don't even care!"
"Sweetie, Scootaloo, please, stop..." Apple Bloom's pleas fell on deaf ears, and her eyes brimmed with tears. "Stop fightin', you're my friends..."
"Fine! If it's so important, Scootaloo, why don't you tell me how you feel before I stop being your friend?"
The pegasus pointed a hoof at him accusingly, taking a deep breath. "He says he's got two dads! That's wrong!"
Sweetie's eyes flicked back to her charge, confusion apparent on her brow. "But... he does have two dads, they're right over..."
"No! It isn't. Possible!" Scootaloo's voice cracked with emotion. "I asked my mom, and I even asked Miss Cheerilee! You have to have a mare and a stallion to make a foal, not two stallions and not two mares! So those two--" she gestured at Brown and Mushroom-- "can't both be his dads! And that means he..."
Her ears drooped and she sat back onto her haunches. "H-he stole somepony else's dad." She wiped at her eyes and sniffed. "And it's not fair, Sweetie, it's just not fair. How come he gets to have two dads and I don't even have one?"
Sweetie's face fell; her eyes searched the floor. "You don't... have a dad...?"
"No!" Scootaloo choked out a sob.
"That's what..." Whisk poked his head out from behind Sweetie and took a few tentative steps forward. "That's why you hate me?"
Scootaloo just nodded, unable to form words now as he stepped forward.
"All this time, you thought I stole somepony's dad? Why didn't you just ask me? I would have told you that wasn't true!"
"I thought..."
"No, stop!" Whisk's face scrunched up and he sucked in a breath of confidence. "You listen to me right now! Mushroom is a great dad, and I'm really lucky to have him be my Cool Dad! Brown Gravy is my 'real' dad, and he and Mushroom got married because... because my mom died when I was really little. I have two dads because I don't have a mom!"
"You don't...?" Scootaloo's eyes were wide.
"I really miss my mom, I don't really even remember her-" Whisk's mouth quivered with emotion- "so how is it fair you get one, huh?"
"So like I don't have a... And you don't..." Scootaloo looked up at him, and saw tears in his eyes that mirrored her own. "I... I'm sorry," she whispered. "Gravy Whisk, I'm sorry I hit you and everything. I'm not a bad pony, really, I don't know why I did any of that... I was just so mad..."
Emotions passed over Whisk's face, but he nodded. "My dad says we should always try to be forgiving, so... If you promise not to bully me anymore, then it's okay."
"I won't, I promise. I'm so sorry!" Scootaloo sniffed and wiped snot on her fetlock. "Sweetie, I don't wanna stop being your friend, not ever. I'm sorry to you too!"
The unicorn's tears fell. "I don't wanna stop being your friend either."
"I don't want neither of you to stop being friends!" Apple Bloom cried. "That's what I've been sayin' all this time!"
Something broke, and the three fillies began weeping aloud, with Whisk looking stricken in their midst. They scooted in close and hugged each other, catching him up along with them. The look that he shot Brown read, "Help, cooties!"
Brown shook his head, unable to take his eyes from the sight. "Mushroom, you talked to her?"
The unicorn nodded.
Candymane spoke up. "And you didn't just tell her about the two of you? You could have saved them all a lot of tears."
The unicorn shook his head. "Foals don't think like adults. Sometimes, you gotta let 'em work things out on their own terms. So I told her to try talking to her friends, and Whisk. Looks like it turned out for the best."
Brown smirked. "I guess that's why you're the Cool Dad, huh?"
Mush grinned and put a hoof on his shoulder. "Yup! Stick with me and you'll be cool in no time! Now let's go save the kid from the cootie brigade!"
He took a step forward, but stopped as a dazed Pinkie Pie, who had been zipping back and forth around the room all night, tottered up to their platform.
"H-how are you both... party...?" she wheezed.
"Uhh..." Mushroom looked at his husband. "Just fine, I think."
"Need anything?"
"No, we're good," Brown said. "Thank you so much for all of this, Miss Pie."
Pinkie nodded, and her head just kept on bobbing. "That's super! I never thought that revolutionizing the party industry would be so much work. I'm gonna go... punch bowl..."
She took two steps away, straightened out as though she'd been hit by lightning, and deflated completely, collapsing to the floor like a rug. The three of them looked at each other, worry on their faces, but a small alligator meandered up, grabbed Pinkie's mane in his jaws, and started dragging her off in the direction she'd been headed.
Candymane shrugged. "That's Pinkie Pie for you."
Brown let out a short laugh. "You know, I realize something..." He looked to the mare standing beside them. "Candymane, I'd just like to apologize for getting the wrong idea about your town. Even with as much as I tell my son not to, I ended up judging ponies by their mane. Mushroom and I... We've been through a lot before we came here; I guess I was just expecting the worst again. But that's no excuse. I'm sorry."
Candy smiled. "No apology needed. Ponyville's a pretty surprising place, once you get to know it." She laughed and took off. "Now let's go save your kid!"
Apple Bloom banged a rock on the pile of milk crates they used as a lectern. "I move that we accept Gravy Whisk as an honorary Cutie Mark Crusader! All in favor?"
Three loud ayes filled the treehouse.
"Any opposed?"
Silence.
"Congrats, Whisk! You're now an official Cutie Mark Crusader, even though you have your cutie mark!" Scootaloo popped a paper hat on Whisk's head, wings buzzing excitedly.
"Yeah, an' now you can help us get our cutie marks!"
Whisk pushed at the hat so it sat better atop his mane. "Well, uh... How do I do that?"
Hopping in place, the three fillies chorused. "Cutie mark story!"
Whisk scratched behind his ear. "Well, uh... It's not that exciting or anything... My bio-dad's a chef, and last summer, I realized that I wanted to be a chef like him, making sauces and stuff, and more than that, I want to go all over the world, mixing up all kinds of different cuisines so that ponies can have all kinds of neat experiences because of my cooking."
Scootaloo frowned. "I don't think that's anything we can use."
Apple Bloom shook her head. "Too personal-like."
Sweetie pouted. "I thought it was a nice story!"
Apple Bloom perked up. "Well, it don't mean he can't help us with our next adventure! Adventure Master Scootaloo, what's next on the crusadin' list?"
Scootaloo held aloft a long sheet of parchment, covered in crayon on both sides. All the entries save for the last dozen or so had various color X's over them. "The Official Cutie Mark Crusaders Crusading List says... Lion taming? Sweetie, wasn't this your idea?"
The unicorn nodded, grinning wide. "Uh-huh!"
"Bleh." Apple Bloom made a face. "I already tried that when I had the cutie pox. Trust me, it ain't fun!"
A mischievous smirk edged its way onto Scootaloo's face. "Hey Sweetie, maybe you can get a romance cutie mark if you kiss Whisk."
"What?" The unicorn's face was a picture of abject horror.
"What? Eww! I don't want a filly kissing me!"
Apple Bloom frowned. "You can't kiss him, Sweetie, we got an egg we gotta care for! Don't leave me out in the cold!"
"I'm not gonna kiss him!"
Scootaloo snickered. "You totally should, since you're so... sweet on him!" She put both hooves over her mouth and rolled onto her back, laughing hysterically. "He can be your coltfriend!"
Sweetie stuck out her tongue. "Ugh, he is not my coltfriend!"
Whisk was horrified. "I'm not her coltfriend!"
"Sweetie's got a coltfriend, Sweetie's got a coltfriend!" Scootaloo sang.
"Ooh, that's it!" Sweetie stomped her hooves and rushed into their toy chest, emerging with a surprisingly loaded squirt gun. "Fathe the wath o' Thwee'ee Behh!" she said around the gun, unleashing a torrent of freezing-cold water in their general direction. As more water pistols were brought to bear, nothing in the clubhouse, not even the four foals, was left unsoaked.