Swift must find a place to live to survive other guild's attack. But where will he go?
(Not an Assassins Creed crossover)
Swift Slash was born and raised as an assassin. Killing other ponies is all he knows how to do. He lives in Anvil, a town that is controlled by two major groups, The Assassins and The Guardians, both of which want full control over the town. The two groups have been fighting for as long as they can remember. Not with words, but with swords, knives, daggers, and well, you get the idea. One day, something drives Swift out of his town...something that he thought would never happen. He must now stay incognito for the remainder of his life, but where will he continue?
-Contains gore and minor cursing
-Swift Slash is the pony on the cover
-Like I said before, this has nothing to do with the Assassins Creed universe. However I did use elements from AC: The robes the assassins are wearing, the hidden blade, and parkour.(Why? Because those things are friggin' cool!) Other than that, it's a completely different story. (Plus, I have only played AC brotherhood and AC revelations so I'm not too familiar with the AC story.)
-For characters I have 'other' meaning more characters that I couldn't fit
-Feel free to ask any questions if you do not understand something
Guardians are referred to as 'Reds' in the story. Why? because Red is a shorter word and I'm a lazy S.O.B.
Oh, and Guardians are ponies and so is the leader of the Guardians
Hello, my name's Swift Slash, and this is my story....
For as long as I can remember, I have been training to be a Master Assassin. I was taken in by a strange stallion when I was but a foal. I never had any parents to raise me...and love me... My new 'parent' I call master taught me the ways of the Assassins. I have been trained in over 10 different fighting styles...Muay Thai, Ninjutsu, Kendo, Kino Mutai...You get idea. I grew up learning how to fight, along side with many Assassins, we train hard, and we train well...We were trained, to kill as many Guardians as possible....
"Their numbers grow larger everyday," the Head Assassin said.
"Yes master, I fear that eventually they will have enough power to completely overthrow us..." Swift said.
"We must take immediate action!" the Head Assassin said. "Maybe...steal from the Anvil Armory..."
"MASTER! You know we are not thieves! We might be assassins, but we do not steal!"
"You raise a valid point, my protégé..." the Head Assassin said as another rookie assassin burst through the door, breathless.
"Master! Master! The Guardians have declared war! They're on their way right this instant!" the rook said.
"Fortify battle-stations! Tell everypony to put up barriers and arm themselves. Swift, come with me," the Head Assassin said.
"Yes, master," the rook said, and left in a hurry. The Head Assassin went to the balcony of the building they were using as the Assassin headquarters as Swift followed. Lots of money went into this superstructure, and the Assassins were not going to let it turn to rubble. The Assassins lived in a rich town called Anvil, having control over it would lead to good fortune and a good life. It was fairly far from any other towns though.
"Swift, why do you always stand on your hind legs?" the Head Assassin asked. Swift was confused at this question. He was trained as a foal to stand on his hind legs, it gives a tactical advantage.
"Master, you trained me to stand on my hind legs," Swift said.
"Only when you're fighting, so, try all fours." Swift Slash went on all fours. He was so unused to it, it felt awkward. So, he stood back up.
"I'm sorry master, I just can't do it."
"Whatever pleases you." The two reached the top of their HQ at this time. The master was pleased at what he saw, all of his skilled assassins at the ready, swords drawn, prepared for anything. He saw the Guardians standing on the horizon. They began to charge.
"Swift, would you like in on this battle, or would you like to sit it out?" The Head Assassin said.
"Is this a serious question master? I stand ready to fight at any moment," Swift said.
"Very well, equip your blades and go. Make me proud."
"Yes master," Swift said as he grabbed his arsenal.
One custom razor sharp sword with a red and sterling silver hilt, and silver steel blade,
and the words Insieme per la vittoria! which translates to together for the victory engraved on the base of the blade.
Swift's twin jagged silver and black daggers, given to him by his master (He cherished them very much)
his throwing knives, and hidden blade gauntlets, which were 9 inch razor sharp blades concealed in leather gauntlets that could retract in and out of the gauntlet at Swift's will (How does it work? Nopony knows!)
Swift wore a white, hooded robe with a red sash as a belt. It also had a leather spaulders, a triangular piece of leather to add onto his awesomeness. It was placed on his shoulder. Each Assassin wore their own custom robes that they fixed in anyway they wanted it to. Swift then jumped off the balcony and landed safely on the ground. Despite the robes heavy weight, it was still easy for Swift to maneuver around on building tops since he was taught the art of parkour. (Even though he has wings, he prefers to show off) Swift met up with the elite group of Assassins he trained with daily. The Head Assassin trotted back inside, having complete faith in his students.
"Swift! They're coming! What should we do?" The leader of the elite assassins said.
"Well, they're simply going to charge at us, so, us being more efficiently trained, charge back at them." The elite group looked confused. "Just trust me," Swift said. "OPEN THE DOORS!" Swift yelled at the door keeper up top. The doors opened, and the assassins could clearly see the Guardians not even 100 feet away from them. The Guardians weren't well equipped. Poor armor and very awkward swords. They were strong in numbers though.
"3...2...1...CHARGE!" Swift said. Everypony in the Assassin courtyard charged, and it did not take long for the two groups to clash. Swift took off on his own, being the most well equipped and trained, he didn't need any help.
He jumped and drew his two hidden blades on both of his hooves and impaled two Red stallions in the throat. He got up and another tried swinging his sword at Swift, but Swift deflected the attempt by drawing out his sword at the same time. He then disarmed the Red by lightly tapping the hilt of his sword and slicing both of his forearms off in the motion of an 'Y' and then impaling him in the stomach. Two more Reds charged at him with spears from his left and right.
'Hmph, this oughta be easy.' Swift thought to himself.
When the stallion on his left got close enough he stepped back, took the spear with his hoof and rammed it in the Red on his rights face, which, had caved in where the point had struck him. Then he put his hoof on the Red on his left's face and said: "Nighty night" as he point-blank injected the blade, splattering blood everywhere. He sheathed his sword as three Reds came at him.
"Come at me, brethren!" Swift said with a smile. You could really never see more of Swift's face. Only his nose and everything below it, due to his hood. He preferred it that way.
When they reached him he front flipped over all three, drawing one of his jagged daggers in the process. When he landed, he stabbed a Red in the back of the neck and twisted. He was gone. The other two turned around, and when they did, Swift threw a throwing knife at one's face, impaling him in the eye. The other Red swooshed his sword in attempt to decapitate Swift. To put it scientifically, the Red failed terribly and his brains painted the ground. The Red with an injured eye remained alive. Swift walked up to him as he lay on the ground. He drew his right hidden blade, and impaled the dying Red in the chest.
Swift didn't have spidey-senses, but something was sure tingling. He ducked as soon as a Red tried avenging his fallen ally. Swift slashed at the Red's hind-legs, forcing him to trip. He then decapitated the Red with a quick hack downward.
Swift looked around to see if anypony needed his assistance, to see that HE was the one in need of assistance. He was surrounded by Reds. If he weren't such a fearless badass, he probably would have turned around and ran like a little bitch. But he held his ground.
The leader of the big group of Reds pointed his hoof towards Swift and yelled: 'FIRE!' Arrows rained towards Swift. He was fast, but not lightning fast. He attempted to dodge the arrows, and for the most part, he succeeded. Only one problem: One hit him in the shoulder. What did Swift do? Snap it in half. The leader then pointed his hoof towards Swift again and yelled: 'CHARGE!' Not only had the Reds charged, but Swift had done so too.
When Swift reached a Red with a spear, he extended his hidden blade and jumped on top of the Red, stabbing him in the process. When Swift killed him, he front flipped off and landed safely. Another Red came at him, to which Swift stabbed him in the gut with the hidden blade, then rolled over the Reds back while he was bending over and kicked him down. Dead.
Another Red came at him with a long hilt battle ax, Swift grabbed the ax by the middle of the hilt and stabbed the Red in the face. He then used the battle ax to nail another Red in the gut. Swift unsheathed his sword, his prized possession, ready for another fight.
Swift deflected several hacks towards him and countered them, leaving a pile of dead Reds. Eventually, everypony in that group was dead. Except the leader. The leader pulled out a golden hilt Katana, and charged at Swift. Swift Deflected the leader's strike for Swift's heart with a downward slash, then Swift lifted his sword over his own head, then hacked down as hard as possible at the leader's shoulder. The sword easily tore through the flesh and bone, cutting the leader in half.
The Assassins were holding off the attack pretty well...until reinforcements came in. They started to overpower the Assassins. Swift hadn't noticed the great amount of deceased Assassins. He was enjoying himself too much.
"Fall back! Fall back!" Swift said as the Assassins retreated. (or what was left of them anyway)
'Damn! The Guardians got through! How could I let this happen!?' Swift said to himself, mad that he had let this happen. The Guardians had broken through the main gates of the Assassin HQ.
Swift had met up with four Reds at the front gate.
'How am I gonna do this!? I mean, I'm skilled, strong, brave, kinda sexy....' Swift said to himself, realizing that he was getting off topic. He knew what to do.
He waited for the Reds to make a move. They all nodded at each other and charged at him, with two in the front. As the two Red's swords got close to Swift, he drew his hidden blades and deflected them downwards, then jumping up in the air, and kicking them in the head with his hind-leg hooves. They fell down as Swift dropped and impaled both of them in the back of their necks. He stood up, ready for more blood. The remaining two Reds looked as if they just shat their pants. Swift saw the fear in their eyes, and knew they were going to just stand there. So, he charged at them for once. He pulled out both his daggers this time, turned them forwards, and then stabbed both the Reds in the stomach. He pulled up, tearing through even more flesh. Then he dropped their bodies.
Swift looked around to see if there were any more Reds to finish off. His Assassin brethren had it under control. He then continued to the HQ, wanting to meet with his master. When he got up to his masters living quarters, he did not like what he saw. Blood was all over the walls, several dead Assassins, a couple of dead Reds, and most importantly, his dying master. He had several stab wounds in his chest. None of which hit anything vital. Whoever did this, knew exactly how to make somepony suffer a long and painful death. He ran up to his master and knelt down next to him, putting his hoof behind his masters head bringing it up.
"Master..." Swift said, holding in his tears. "What did they do to you!? I'll kill these goddamn bastards!"
"Swift...I don't have much time...take this letter...It'll answer all of your questions..." the Head Assassin said, handing Swift a rolled piece of paper. "I'm not going to make it...remember I love you...son..." the Head Assassin said before drifting off into his death. Swift started crying silently.
'Son!? What did he just say?' Swift thought to himself. He opened the letter and started to read:
Dear Swift Slash,
This is your father, the stallion you called 'master' all your life. I'm sorry I never explained anything to you, and most importantly, I'm sorry I lied to you. Here's what happened: When you were born, your mother was filly-napped by the Guardians and they asked for ransom money for her release. They murdered her when I couldn't pay the money in time. I swore to myself and to your mother I would avenge her, so I started the Assassin guild to eliminate the Guardians. I'm sorry I lied when I said you were given to me by your parents, and I'm even more sorry I never answered any of your questions. Son, you were raised a killer, LIVE like a killer. Remember Swift, I always loved you. Goodbye, my son...
Love, Dad
At this point, Swift was all out bawling, he couldn't see anything in front of him. He wiped his tears and thought to himself:
'I...I just witnessed my fathers death without even knowing it was my father....'
Swift closed his fathers eyes, his lips quivering, and stood up. He turned around to see the words YOU'RE NEXT in blood on the wall. He then walked up to the window that gave a clear view of the courtyard, to see that the remainder of his Assassin brethren were being executed by the Guardians. They were on their knees as their heads were being sliced clean off. Swift turned away and cringed at such a terrible sight.
'I can't live here anymore, the Guardians are looking for me...I must leave Anvil and find another town to live in...' Swift thought to himself. He took his knapsack which contained money, a map, water, and a little bit of food. He wiped the last tear off his face as he jumped out of the back window to find another life someplace else...someplace where his head wasn't wanted on a silver platter.
"Find him or I'll have your asses mounted on my wall!" The leader of the Guardians said. Let's call him Francis, since, that is his real name.
"Sir, he is gone! We looked everywhere," minion reassured Francis.
"Get me a map!" Francis demanded. The minion pulled out a map and handed it to his leader. "Hmmm...He'll probably want to flee as far away as possible from this town....so that means....he's definitely not heading to Ponyville...." Francis said as he crossed off Ponyville from the map. He gave the map back to the minion. "Search in the remaining towns, and find his expendable little body, and BRING ME HIS HEAD!!!" Francis said.
"Yes sir, Mr. Fran-"
"What did you just say?"
"I sai-" that's all the minion could say before his head was cut off. Francis gave the map to somepony else.
"Remember...not Ponyville!" Francis said. ***
'Ponyville, huh?' Swift said to himself as he examined a map 'It's the closest, and I'm too damn lazy to walk any further' Swift thought to himself as he walked away from the place he called home all his life. Swift looked in his knapsack. 'Hmph, I guess this will have to suffice.' He slung the knapsack over his shoulder, and walked on. He knew he had to do a lot of walking, thankfully he had never taken an arrow to the knee, or this would be a hard trip.
Swift began to stroke the necklace his mother had "supposedly" given to him before she died. Swift had been lied to his whole life, he had no idea what's true, and what's a lie anymore. Although his father had used Swift for his own personal gain to get back for the Guardians actions, he can't really say he blames him. At least now he knows that every time he rammed a blade through a Guardian, it was for his mom.
Since Swift is so used to it, his white robes were covered in dirt and blood. He hadn't really noticed until he took out some water to drink-then he saw passing shadows above him. Guardians. They saw Swift and landed in front of him.
'Oh, give me a friggin' break!' Swift thought to himself. 'Three, huh? Should be easy.'
The Guardians all drew their swords and walked slowly to Swift.
'Are they really THAT stupid!?'
One lunged at Swift and to which Swift pulled out a dagger and stabbed him in the gut. The Guardian slowly slid off the blade, dead. Swift sheathed his dagger as another Guardian jumped at Swift pointing the sword toward his head. Swift laughed a little inside at how easy this fight was going to go. Swift drew his right hidden blade, deflected the attempt, grabbed the Red by his fore-leg, dropped the sad-sorry little stallion, and sent a razor-sharp blade through his heart. The last remaining soldier was scared. Swift could see it in his eyes. Swift, being an understanding pony and all, sheathes all his weapons and takes the proper Muay Thai fighting stance, ready to hoof-fight the last Red.
The Red being completely untrained in hoof-to-hoof fighting, seized this opportunity to strike with his sword. Somehow, Swift saw this coming. As the Red attempted to strike Swift, Swift side stepped out of the way. He was being a little cocky, so, the sword struck him above the left of his abs, just missing any vital organs. Swift grunted at this shock, though, it isn't the first time he had been wounded. He worried more about his robes having a large gash in them.
'So, this little shit's not going to play fair, eh?' Swift said to himself. He charged in anger at the Red with both his hidden blades drawn. He impaled the Red in the chest and in the pelvis, lifted the Red above his head, and then pulled outward. The Red was in two pieces. He dropped the dead stallion and continued forward.
'Mphh...this really hurts...' Swift took the map, ripped a piece off, placed it on his wound and used his sash to keep it in place. Swift then ate the last of his food he had. He knew he was going to regret it later. He spread his wings, and took off. He was going to try to fly it out.
***
6 hours of flying later
Swift was beginning to lose altitude, and his vision was getting blurry. He had lost a lot of blood and had no food or any water. He could see a little bit of lights ahead, so Swift pushed himself a little. He began to lose consciousness, and before he knew it, he hit the ground with a thud. The last thing he saw was a pink blur bouncing up and down towards him...
The next thing Swift knew, he woke up laying down on a couch. He looked around and it seemed he was in a shop. A sign read 'Carousel Boutique. ' He looked down and saw that his wound had been patched up....WAIT....WHAT!? He can see his wound!?
'Where's my robes!? Who took them?'
"Wakey wakey, sleepy head!" A high pitched voice said. Swift sat up to see who it was. His vision got blurry all of a sudden from standing straight too fast after laying down. "Come on! At least PRETEND you're alive!"
"Who are you? Where are my robes? And....where am I?" Swift couldn't think straight, so he just spammed questions out of his mouth.
"One question at a time, silly! I'm not magic! Anyway, I'm Pinkie Pie, your robes are over there, and....WELCOME TO PONYVILLE!" Pinkie Pie said with a huge grin on her face.
'Ponyville, huh? I guess I made it.' Swift looked over to where she was pointing her hoof to. An elegant, white unicorn was finishing up stitching his robes.
"I just absolutely LOVE your robes darling! But why was there blood all over it!?" The white unicorn said in a posh, fancy accent. "My name's Rarity by the way." Rarity said while using her magic to give Swift his robes. Not only had she fixed the rip, but cleaned it completely too.
"Thanks..." Swift began, "Name's Swift Slash...How much do I owe you? Miss... uhh Rarity?"
"Oh it was nothing dear, you don't have to pay me a single bit!" Rarity chimed, forgetting the blood question.
'Dazzling AND generous.'
"Thanks, I owe you." Swift said while putting his robes back on and flipping his hood back on his head. He felt something was missing.
"Oh darling, don't put that hood on, we can't see your eyes! And they're quite ravishing!" Rarity said.
'My eyes are ravishing?'Swift's eyes were finally revealed. He had pure golden eyes, something very rare for ponies to have.
"Um...thanks, but sorry, I'm used to having a hood on. Anyway, who patched me up?"
"Oh, we called a nurse while you were unconscious. She stitched you right up. So Swift, may we ask you questions now?" Rarity asked.
"Go for it."
"Ooooh oooh, are you going to stay here? Do you need a house? I can help! Oh I LOVE making new friends! Why do you have a robe? Are you a ninja!? That would be so cool! Can you jump off walls and do karate kicks!? Do you have like a cool name like, 'Ghost' or, or 'Spirit'? Why did you have a wound? What's your cutiemark supposed to mean? And what are you doing with THOSE?" Pinkie Pie said while pointing at Swift's arsenal.
The look on Swift's face told you what he was thinking:
'She said all that in one breath!? Holy hay...'
'So that's what was missing! My weapons...'
"Whoa whoa whoa, okay, let's slow down a little," Swift said, staring at his weapons "I don't really feel...comfortable answering a lot of those. They're kinda...unspeakable."
"Whatcha mean 'unspeakable?' Is something wrong with your voice? Why can't you speak about them?" Pinkie asked. She was starting to piss Swift off.
"I just...don't wanna talk about it."
"Darling, we aren't going to think any less of you. Can you please tell us what's going on so we can help you?" Rarity asked.
'Damn it, I'm going to have to confess...'
"My name's Swift Slash, I'm an assassin, I got stabbed by a foe of mine, I came to Ponyville to avoid getting killed, yes, I'm staying for as long as I can, my cutie mark is a sword with wings, representing my ability to use a blade swiftly, no, my name is just Swift Slash, I do know...karate (karate wasn't something Swift learned, he just wanted to dumb it down a little) THOSE are my weapons I use to keep myself alive. Happy?" Swift said in a dull tone.
Pinkie Pie and Rarities jaws were on the floor by the time he finished. They were speechless.
"Assa....assassin!?" Pinkie muttered. "You don't look like an assassin...'
"I don't think we can help you there dear," Rarity said.
"I don't need any more help. You two have done a lot to help me. I just need to be able to stay hidden from danger for as long as possible, there are ponies that want me dead," Swift said, taking back all his weapons and his knapsack. He was glad they hadn't touched anything in his knapsack.
"Oh dear, why do they want you dead!?" asked Rarity.
"Let's just say...I pissed off a lot of ponies."
"Oh, we can help with that!" Pinkie said, smiling again. "I'm sure one of our friends will like to help! They're all friendly and I'm sure-"
"No," Swift said.
"What do you mean no, silly? Where are you going to stay?" Pinkie questioned.
"I...I don't know....but where ever-"
"Please dear, let us help. There is no place to live right now. All the hotels are packed."
'I'm going to lose again....F my life.'
"Okay, where are you gonna take me?" Swift said dully.
"Well, let me introduce you to our friends!" Pinkie beamed.
'Great even more ponies to judge me.'
"Leeeeet's gooo!!!" Pinkie said. She bounced off, Rarity following. Swift then followed too. Pinkie gathered all her main friends: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack and brought them to Twilight's house. "Okay everypony, say hello to our new....FRIEND!" Pinkie said, while unraveling her hooves, pointing at Swift. Everypony looked at him funny. They either looked at him confused, or they looked at him shaking in their hooves, scared at what Swift had around his waist.
Swift took note of the pony gang: A purple unicorn who looked smart, a timid looking yellow pegasus with a graceful pink mane, an orange earth pony with a blonde mane with two hairbands keeping them in place. She also wore a stetson hat. And finally, an extremely colorful cyan coated pegasus. Why was she so colorful? Her mane was a friggin' rainbow. Swift hadn't really been anywhere near mares before, so he felt awkward.
"Um, hello everypony," Swift began. "My name is Swift Slash an-"
"HE'S AN AS-" Pinkie said, but got a hoof to the mouth. "A...lawn mower pony...."
"A lawn mower pony? Really? What am I gonna do, trim the grass with my sword?"
"He's an Assassin," the purple pony with a purple mane and purple eyes said. (She must love purple) The rest of the group gasped.
"Good job...um...-"
"Twilight. Twilight Sparkle."
"Good job Twilight. Not that many ponies know about Assassins."
"Thank you. I've read about you Assassins, killing for control and power."
"Sorta, but yes. But don't worry everypony, I plan on retiring. Nothing else much to do since everypony I've know and loved is dead." The group gasped again.
"Oh you poor thing..." the yellow one with the pink mane said.
"I'm sorry to hear, but, if you're retiring, why do you still have your weapons?" Twilight asked.
"Protection," Swift responded. "Sorry if they scare you, but I doubt I'm ever going to pull them out."
"Anyway," Pinkie began, "Swift needs a place to stay, he's got no home here. Can anypony take him in while he looks for a place to live?" The faint sound of crickets filled the air.
"Please everypony, one at a time," Swift said sarcastically.
"Look sugercube," the orange one began, "It ain't that we don't like ya, it's ya kinda scare the hay outta us."
"I understand, but, I reassure you. I'm not violent," Swift said, trying to hold a laugh.
"So why are you an Assassin?" Twilight asked.
"A very...personal reason," Swift said unsteadily.
"I see....anyway, we haven't introduced ourselves, besides me. This is Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash.
'Rainbow Dash lives up to her name I see.' Swift said to himself.
"Uh, partner? Wha don'tcha take off yer hood?" Applejack questioned.
"I just prefer it on," Swift said.
"An', one more thing, why ya standin' on yer hind-legs?"
"Again, I just prefer it."
"Well...I guess you can stay here until you get back on your hooves," Twilight said.
"Oh thankyouthankyouthankyou Twilight! See Swift? I toldja they were nice!" Pinkie said.
'Yeah...A real joy....'
Everypony left Twilight's house and the last two that remained were Twilight and Swift. It was night so Twilight thought it would be a good idea to show Swift his side of the house.
"Okay...There, that's your side, this is my side," Twilight said. There was a huge purple force field cutting the house in two. 4/5ths of the house was Twilight's. "Okay, good night!"
'At least she shows GREAT hospitality.'
She had given Swift the guest bed. Swift was starving, but he could wait for morning. He was tired as hell.
"Ugh..." Swift mumbled. He had woken up earlier than he usually does, from his hunger.
'Hey, the force field is gone, I don't have to feel claustrophobic anymore! Now, where's the damn kitchen? I am so hungry...'
Swift wandered around Twilight's house looking for the kitchen. He figured if Twilight was going to be a make bad assumptions, he would show her that he isn't half bad! It's the perfect plan!
'Aha! Kitchen!' Swift began to scavenge the kitchen for food. He picked out ingredients to make a breakfast nopony could resist eating. Swift began making the food, eventually he finished. Vegetable omelets, toast, and some sweet grits! Twilight would immediately apologize for judging him too quick.
As Swift Slash was setting up the table for two, he felt a disturbance in the force.
'Who is THAT guy!?'
Swift shrugged it off and whistled while finishing the table. Then suddenly he felt a sharp pain in the back of his neck.
"AGH! What the Hell? What is this?" Swift questioned himself out loud.
"I'll teach you to rob our house, you filthy thief!"
Swift reached to his neck and grabbed something scaly and pulled it in front of him. A baby dragon was trying to punch swift in mid air, but couldn't reach him. "Lemme go! Lemme go so I can teach you a lesson you'll never forget!"
Swift slammed the dragon on the wall and pulled out his free hoofed hidden blade. He directed it to the dragons throat.
"WAIT!!!" Twilight screamed. "What are you doing with Spike!?"
Bad time for Twilight to come. She had woken up due to the slam that Swift had done to Spike.
"This little bastard tried to kill me!"
"That little....dragon is my assistant! Put him down!" Swift followed orders, since Twilight explained Spike.
'So much for Twilight seeing the good side in me...'
They all sat down at the table Swift had so generously made.
"Spike, I'm sorry I didn't tell you we had a guest, but that doesn't mean you try to put things into your own claws. And YOU, you should be apologizing here. You almost killed Spike! What is wrong with you!?" Twilight yelled.
"He tried to-"
"NOPE! I don't want to hear it! Apologize."
"Bu-"
"Ahem!"
"Ugh...Spike...I'm sorry I almost turned you into grated cheese. Better?"
"A little more....Dignified please."
"Spike, I'm sorry I almost killed you. Are you satisfied now?"
"Thank you. Now, what is this?" Twilight questioned pointing at the food.
"I made us breakfast. Well I was TRYING to make us breakfast to show you that I'm not a bad pony."
"And how did that turn out?"
"It turned to shit."
"SWIFT! One rule of this household, no cursing. Understand?"
"Really?" Swift said sarcastically. Twilight gave Swift the 'Say-I-Understand-Or-I'll-Murder-You-Stare' "I understand."
"Glad to hear. So you didn't poison these or anything, did you?" Twilight said.
"If I ate first bite, would that make you feel any better?"
"Much." Twilight said. Swift took a bite of everything.
"See? Nothing to worry about. Now eat up, this was a pain in the.....flank to make." ***
Twilight and Swift had finished breakfast; they had given some to Spike as well.
"Well, if you need me, I'll be out exploring my 'NEW' town."
"Oh, if you're going out, can you get me these groceries?" Twilight said while giving Swift a shopping list with her magic.
"What do I look like? Your maid?" Swift said. Twilight gave him the puppy-eyes and quivering lip.
"You must not understand. I'm a cold-blooded assassin. Giving me a cute look isn't going to change my mind."
"Do it or I'll make you feel a type of pain you've never felt before."
Swift looked at Twilight funny.
"That could have been taken a few ways. Chances are it's the one I DON'T want to happen, I'm leaving."
"Good," Twilight said. As Swift left, Spike looked at Twilight.
"That guy has a sick mind," Spike said. ***
'Let's see, what does this mare want from me? Some more eggs, lettuce, bread, and 3 tomatoes.' Swift thought to himself. He looked in his bag to see how many bits he had. '3,400 bits, huh? Damn, we must have been taking a lot more money than I thought...'
As Swift walked to the market, he was examining Ponyville. Since it was in the morning, he could study it much better. But, Ponyville was also examining him. Everypony he walked by looked at him as if he were an alien. Was it because he wore robes? Was it because he wore a hood? Was it because he was walking on his hind legs? Was it because he had a lethal arsenal of weapons around his waist? If you guessed all of the above, you win.
Swift took note of all the stores Ponyville had to offer, and all the ponies Ponyville has to offer. Let's just say Swift looked at Ponyville as the most fruitiest towns he's ever seen. As Swift was approaching the market, he felt something latch onto his tail. He looked behind him to see a small alligator biting.
"What, the, Hell!?" Swift had to say out loud. This moment was just too weird not to. "Get off me you...little...son of a-"
"Gummy! Get off Swift! That is NOT how we treat new ponies around here!" Swift heard Pinkie say as he saw her trot towards him. The alligator followed orders and jumped off Swift's tail and jumped onto Pinkie.
"Pinkie. The Hell is that thing?" Swift questioned.
"Oh! It's my pet alligator, Gummy!"
"You have a pet alligator....named Gummy?"
"Yes indeedy! He's got no teeth, so it doesn't hurt when he bites you!" Pinkie said while Gummy was biting her all over her body.
"You my friend, are something else."
" *GASP* You finally said it! You finally said we're friends! Yay!" Pinkie said, shocked.
"Of course we're friends Pinkie..." Swift said.
"Well, I gotta go give Gummy his bath. He ran away before I could give him one. Bye Swift!"
"See ya, Pinkie."
'She is frickin' crazy.'
When Swift finally arrived, he looked for the stands with the items he needed. He had bought 12 eggs, lettuce, and bread all for 5 bits. Now, all he needed was the tomatoes. He approached the tomato stand to see a stern, bored looking pony manning the register. Swift looked at the sign that read: '3 tomatoes = 1 bit.' He put one bit on the counter and took the tomatoes. He turned around and started to walk away to hear:
"Ahem!" Swift turned around. "Sir, that'll be 2 bits."
"Uh, it says '1 bit' right there!"
The cashier took the poster down and rewrote '3 tomatoes = 2 bits' "I'm not paying 2 bits. It said 1 bit when I got here, that's how much I pay for them."
"TWO BITS!"
"ONE BIT!"
"TWO BITS!"
"ONE BIT!"
"TWO BITS!" At this point, Swift had taken out his hidden blade and put it to the cashier's neck.
"One bit and that's my final offer..." Swift said in a low tone. The cashier gulped and started to sweat.
"Okay! Okay! One bit it is! Good day!"
"Thanks. You too." Swift said, sheathing his blade and walking away. Swift wasn't poor obviously, but he just doesn't like to be pushed around and be stepped on like a door mat.
Swift spread his overly sized wings and flew towards Twilight's house. When he got to Twilight's house, he landed on the balcony. He started to walk in the house when he heard something.
"Who," An ominous voice said. Swift turned around and looked to see where was it was coming from.
"Hello?" Swift asked aimlessly.
"Who."
"Who is that? Who's there?"
"Who." Swift turned around to see a little owl looking straight at him.
"Aw, hello little guy, how are you?" Swift asked the owl.
"Who," the owl responded.
"Y-you, who else?" Swift questioned.
"Who."
"YOU!"
"Who."
"Me?"
"Who."
"I am Swift Slash," Swift said.
"Who."
"Uh, ME! Swift Slash."
"Who?"
"Goddamn it, I have no time for this."
"Who."
"ME! I have no time for you!"
"Who?"
"YO-AGH! Forget it, I'm outta here." Swift went through the balcony window to see Twilight reading.
"Ah, you're back! Do you have my things?" Twilight asked.
"Yes I have you things, here." Swift gently put the groceries down, remembering the eggs, otherwise he would've thrown them. "So who the hel-HAY, is that owl outside?"
"Owlicious?" Twilight asked.
"So that's what you call him."
"Yes, he is my pet."
"I want to beat his beak in..." Swift muttered.
"Excuse me?"
"Um...nothing? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go blow off steam."
"You're going to go do Yoga?"
"Nah, I'm just going to get drunk off my ass." Swift said then took off out the window.
'Yup, he sure is a grade-A assassin huh?' Twilight thought. ***
Swift landed in front of a bar named: 'The Hammered Hay.'
'At least this town has SOME redeeming qualities.' Swift thought to himself. He entered the bar and sat down in a long-legged chair. Again, everypony looked at him funny. That's the price you have to pay to look awesome.
"Bartender, anything that will make me feel less sorry about my sorry life," Swift said.
"Can-do, kid," Swift might look young, but he really is only a few years older than the mane six. He would've usually crammed those words down the bartenders mouth, since 'kid' is something that, when Swift is referred to, pisses him off. But he wanted his drinks.
About 1/5 of vodka and 5 beers later....
"Hey everypony, look, I'm a walrus, arf arf!" Swift said in an Irish accent. He tends to do that when he's drunk.
"Sir, you're drunk." The bartender said.
"What makes yee say that, laddie?"
"You're speaking differently than you were before."
"Aye, you're wrong lad, I speak IRISH! Pass meh another beer, wouldja?"
"I think you've had enough, sir." The bartender said.
"I'll tell yee when I hath had enough! A tru' Irishmin could never have too much beer!" Swift said.
"Look, do you have anypony else to help you get home?"
"Aye, I DO have somepony with meh, he ain't no pony though. DONKEY! C'mere!" Swift said, still in an Irish accent.
A real Irish pony who had been listening to the conversation the whole time didn't think that joke was funny.
"Yee think you're a funny guy, eh?" said the true Irish pony.
"Maybeh, maybeh not. What's it too yee, oldtimer?" Swift said.
"Everything," the Irish pony said while breaking a bottle against a table.
"Oh, yee want a fight? Yee'll get a fight!" Swift said. The Irish pony attempted to hit Swift many times with the broken bottle. Even when intoxicated, Swift still had moves. He dodged every attempt, then when it started getting boring, he punched the Irish pony across the face, roundhouse kicked him in the muzzle, elbowed him in the gut, then with a closed hoof, hammered the backside of his head. (He was bending over due to being hit in the gut) Swift then picked up the pony and smashed his face into a wall. The pony dropped unconscious, bleeding out of his nostrils.
"Aha! Take that, yee bastard!" Swift said.
Swift was then grabbed by two huge stallion security guards and thrown out the back.
"FINE!" Swift said to the door, "I don't need you! I'll open up my own bar! With, blackjack, and, and hookers!" Swift walked slowly back home, still drunk off his ass.
When he opened the door, Twilight and Spike were cleaning up the house, something they always seem to do.
"Look who's back," Spike said in a dull tone.
"Well, well, well, you came back. So how'd it go?" Twilight asked.
"Well," Swift said, still in an Irish accent. "I drank to me hearts desire"
"And...you're drunk. Great."
"I want to do things to yee body that I cannot spell...." Swift said.
"Yeah, you're definitely drunk," Twilight said.
"Want me to tranquilize him and throw him in bed?" Spike asked.
"Please do," Twilight said.
After about 30 minutes of chasing Swift, Spike managed to get a dart into him. He picked him up and threw him in bed.
Lyrics and songs mentioned in this chapter belong to the lyrical geniuses on YouTube. (Neon, my other OC, is in here too :D)
"Aw come on, I wasn't THAT drunk!" Swift reassured.
"You ran into my closet and yelled: 'Where the Hell is Narnia.' " Twilight said.
"Oh. I did?" Swift asked.
"Yes."
Swift and Twilight were both in the library. Twilight was on her bed, while Swift was sitting at the top of the staircase.
"What else did I do?"
"I think that should be....omitted."
"Okay...was it really that ba-"
"YES."
"Well, fine. Anyway, I'm going to go see if I can find a job. These bits won't last forever," Swift said, walking down the stairs and out of the house.
"Hey Twilight?" Spike asked.
"Yes, Spike?" Twilight responded.
"Do you like that guy at all?"
"No Spike, no I do not."
"Okay, good. I thought I was the only one."
"Well Spike, no need to worry. He can't stay here anymore."
"REALLY? Do ya mean it?"
"Yes. He is a bad influence for you AND for me! He curses and gets drunk! No way I'm letting anypony like that stay here. I have to see if anypony else can take him in."
Twilight exited her house and pondered for a moment:
'Let's see...AHA! Applejack probably wouldn't mind! I mean, she IS one of the nicest ponies I know. **** "No," came the dull response from the orange mare.
"PLEASE Applejack? He's a bad influence for Spike, I really need somepony else to take him in," Twilight pleaded.
"Ah'm sorry Twi, but he kinda scares me a little. Plus we really ain't got no room fer no other pony."
"You mean those GIANT barns have no room for ONE more pony!?"
"Well, they do, but they weren't meant fer ponies. They're made fer the animals."
"We can arrange things Applejack."
"Well, I guess so, be he ain't jus' gone laze aroun'. He's going to have to work the fields."
"That's fine, I'll get him to agree. Thank you Applejack."
"Yer welcome." ***
' 'Assassins are not allowed' they said.' 'Killing ponies doesn't count as experience' they said...
As Swift entered Twilight's house, Twilight was waiting patiently in front of the door.
"Ah! Oh, it's just you Twilight. You scared me." Swift said.
"You're leaving," Twilight said confidently.
"Wha- Huh!?" Swift asked, confused.
"You're a bad influence in this household. You going to live with Applejack from now on."
"What!? What did I do?"
"Let's see, you swear like a sailor, you drink like crazy, and you almost committed first degree murder in my house."
'Not like it would've been the first time I committed first degree murder.'
"Ugh, FINE! What are the conditions?"
"You have to buck apples with Applejack."
"You have got to rubbing my nipples with sandpaper..."
"Excuse me!?"
"I said you've got to be kidding me."
"No, I'm not. Let's go." ***
"Sir, we've checked every town on the map, and nopony says they've seen any assassin around," the minion said.
"You asked ponies if they've SEEN AN ASSASSIN!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU DUMB PIECES OF-"
"Sir, we have a lead on Swift Slash," another minion cut in, coming from nowhere. "We have researched to find that he may be in Fillydelphia, Manehattan, Cantorlot, or Ponyville."
"Make Ponyville your last priority. Search in the other towns and tell me your findings."
"Yes sir, Mr. Fran-" again, last thing the minion said before his head was cut off by Francis' trademark decapitation sword.
"I'm going to run out of soldiers if they can't learn to call me sir...." Francis said. ***
"Well howdy partners!" Applejack said in a happy tone.
"Hey Applejack!" Twilight said. Here's your new guest."
Swift walked up slowly, still with his hood up and waved.
"See what Ah mean by: scares me?" Applejack whispered to Twilight.
"Anyway, hope you two get along. See ya both later!" Twilight said and galloped off.
Applejack gave Swift a cheeky smile and awkwardly said:
"Well howdy Swift! Good to see ya. Lemme show you to yer room." Applejack said.
The two walked over to one of the spare barns. Applejack had cleaned up the place while Twilight was getting Swift. She had made a small barn into a cozy little house. The barn had two stories, and the second one was where AJ had placed a bed, a drawer, and a night light.
"Smells like donkey shit," Swift said.
"Well Ah'm sorRY that Ah can't make an animal house smell like lavender,"
"It's quite all right, I accept your apology," Swift said.
"Look here jackass, I don't like you, and-"
"I know."
"W-wait, what?"
"I know you don't like me. I could tell."
"How?"
"I don't like to brag, (bullshit by the way) but me being an assassin and all, I'm trained to know what's real and what's a hoax. Your kindness towards me? A hoax."
"Well, I'd never-"
"You really think I'd treat somepony like they're my maid if they liked me? No."
"Ah'm mighty sorry Swift. You just...frighten me is all."
"And I'm sorry for being too much of a jackass." The two giggled (something Swift has never done in public) and Applejack pulled him in for a hug. Swift accepted. Once Swift was starting to blush, he broke the hug. He isn't much for showing affection for mares.
"Well Applejack, show me what I gotta do."
"Right this way, partner." Applejack said while directing Swift to the apple orchard. When Applejack got there, she showed Swift a tree to try to buck. Applejack gave a demonstration on the tree next to it.
"See? Like this Swift," Applejack said while bucking a tree. Every apple fell.
"Fascinating. But wouldn't it be easier to just cut the apples down with my sword?" Swift said while slowly unsheathing his prized possession.
"NO,nononono NO!" Applejack repeated. "It's....uh...family tradition to take down apples by buckin' 'em." It wasn't a lie, but AJ was just scared of that damn thing.
"Well, okay then," Swift said re-sheathing his sword.
"Alright, give it a try partner!" Applejack said. Swift got into position and bucked the tree as hard as he could. Nothing.
"Pffff-HAHHAAAAA!" Applejack said, falling over laughing. "That's a good one, Swift. You really got me! Alrighty, try it again."
Swift attempted several more times, but only a single apple finally fell. Applejack was having the time of her life.
"Ah, Swift, you do NOT know how long it's been since Ah laughed that hard."
"Well you know what Applejack? I am not trained to have powerful hind legs. Yes, I can run faster than anypony I've ever met (See? Told you it was bullshit) but I can't buck a friggin TREE!" And with that, Swift punched the tree as hard as he could with his fore-leg hoof in anger. The tree de-rooted and flew back about 10 feet. Applejack's smile was replaced with an awe-struck face with her mouth wide open.
"Holy hay Swift. What in tarnation did you do!" Applejack said.
"I...punched it? I didn't know I could do that..." Swift said. Every apple on the tree he had punched had landed where the tree would've been.
"Well, at least every apple fell..." Applejack said, trying to show the positive side of this situation. "Can you try to do that, but NOT send the tree to oblivion?" Swift punched a few more trees, and only half of them de-rooted.
"Well, I guess I'm not an apple bucker." Swift said.
"Ah guess not Swift." Applejack said, exhaling. "Just pick up the apples off the ground please? And put them in that basket. When you're done, make yourself comfortable."
While Swift was doing what he was told, Applejack saw her big brother staring in their direction. She walked towards Him.
"Big Mac! How long you been here?"
"A while, who's that fella?" Big Mac said.
"He's uh, a guest," Applejack managed to say. "He's got no place to stay so Ah decided to let him stay a little. Is that alright with you?"
"Eeyup." Big Mac plainly said.
"Just keep your eye on him Mac, Ah still don't really like 'em." Applejack said. "He even took out a couple of trees! Right out of the ground!"
"Eeyup."
"Big Mac? You EVER say anythang different?"
"Nope." ****
Once Swift was done with picking up the apples, he decided to wander Ponyville some more, to see every little detail, while Applejack and Big Mac were doing their jobs.
5 days later
*Knock knock*
"Ugh, who is it?" Twilight said.
"It's me! Applejack!" Twilight opened the door. "Ay, Twilight."
"Applejack, it's 8:00!" Twilight said.
"Ah know Twilight, but this is an emergency! Y'know Swift? He can't live in the barn anymore."
"WHAT? Why not?"
"We can't afford another pony to live in the barn and do nothing. He can't buck apples so he can't help raise money."
"Well, where is he going to go?" Twilight said.
"Ah think Ah have an idea..." ****
"Fluttershy's house? You think it's a good idea to let him stay with Fluttershy!? He'll give that poor filly a heart attack!" Twilight said to Applejack as they neared Fluttershy's cottage.
"Let's just ask her, Twi," Applejack said.
*Knock Knock*
"Heh....hello?" A small voice uttered.
"Fluttershy, it's Twilight and Applejack," Twilight said. Fluttershy opened the door slowly.
"Hello girls. What can I do for you?" Fluttershy said.
"We need a mighty favor," Applejack said.
"Oh? How can I help?" Fluttershy said.
"We need to know if you will take Swift in." Twilight said.
"Oh...okay...." Fluttershy said.
"You don't have to if you don't want to, Fluttershy." Twilight said.
"No, no. If you girls need me to take him in, I don't mind," Fluttershy said.
"Great! We'll be back in a little." Applejack said.
"Thanks Fluttershy," Twilight said.
"No problem girls." Fluttershy said. The two mares left Fluttershy's house's premises.
'Oh my, Fluttershy. What have you gotten yourself into?' ***
Twilight and Applejack entered the barn Swift was staying in. The sound of steel-on-steel filled the air. Twilight and Applejack went up the stairs to see Swift was on his bed, his back facing them.
"Swift!? What are you doing?" Twilight asked.
"Sharpening my weapons with a rock," Swift said.
"Um, why?" Applejack said.
"I'm bored. So, what is it you two need?" Swift said.
"Er, okay. Well Swift, you need to leave." Applejack said. Swift's sharpening stopped abruptly.
"Huh?" Swift said.
"You're going to Fluttershy's house." Twilight said.
"What did I do this time?" Swift said.
"Not important. What is, is that you're going to Fluttershy's house." Applejack said.
"Well, sheesh, don't got to be so rude about it."
Swift grabbed all of his things, and then the three ponies left the barn and then headed to Fluttershy's house.
*Knock Knock*
Fluttershy opened the door meekly. She knew what she was expecting, but Swifts arsenal still scared the hay outta her.
"Hey Fluttershy! Say hi to your new guest, Swift!" Twilight said brightly.
"He-...hello...," Fluttershy whispered.
"Pleasure to meet your acquaintance," Swift said in a British accent
Fluttershy whimpered.
"Well...I can see where this is going...." Swift said.
"Well! Have fun ya'll!" Applejack said while galloping away. Twilight followed.
Fluttershy and Swift were still standing outside, awkwardly, looking into oblivion.
"Well?" Swift began. "Now what?"
"W-well....come in," Fluttershy whispered.
'Thought she'd NEVER say that.'
The two entered the house and Swift made himself right at home.
"Okay...Swift...there's your bed...over there...." Fluttershy said, pointing to a bed where the Cutie Mark Crusaders once slept.
"Great! Thanks, Fluttershy," Swift said loudly, trying to make Fluttershy talk just a little bit louder. Swift saw that Fluttershy was heading outside, so he felt it was only right to try to see if he could help her in any way.
"Hey, Fluttershy?" Swift said, "Whatcha doin'?"
"I'm...I'm going to go wake up the little critters from their slumber. It's feeding time."
"Anything I can do to help?"
"Well, can you help me wake up the little guys...if that's okay with you,"
"Of course it is Fluttershy, that's why I asked."
Swift put his things on his bed and followed the meek mare outside.
"See those little holes? That's where they're sleeping," Fluttershy said. "Here, let me show you how." Fluttershy tip-hoofed her way to a hole, rang a little bell, and said: "Wakey wakey little guys. It's time to eat."
Three squirrels scurried out of the hole, heading to their usual feeding place. "Okay, now you try!" Fluttershy said. Swift grabbed the bell with his hoof,and walked towards a hole. Swift rang the bell and said:
"Wake up you little shits!"
"Swift! That's not how I told you to do it!" Fluttershy said, loud, as if offended.
"I'm sorry Fluttershy, I'm new to this, lemme give it another try." Swift walked up to another hole, rang the bell and said:
"Wakey, wakey you sons of bitches! It's time to stuff your fat asses!" 2 hedgehogs slowly crawled out, annoyed with Swift's tone. They flipped him the bird and scurried away too.
"That wasn't any better Swift..." Fluttershy said.
"That was exactly how you did it! I just modified it....a little."
"Well Swift, I guess you can't help me....oh I'm sorry...but...you just stink at this job." Fluttershy spat out.
"Well, I'd never!" Swift said, sarcastically. "Well, since I'm not worth anything here, I'll be on my way. I'll be back at around....8 ish?"
"Um,okay. Bye..." Fluttershy squeaked. Swift spread his wings and took to the sky, gliding over Ponyville to see what to do when he heard his name being called.
"Who is that?" Swift said to himself out loud, looking down to see the source of what was calling him. Pinkie Pie. Swift descended from the sky to see what Pinkie wanted.
"Swift! How are you doing?" Pinkie said.
"Ah, shitty....and bored," Swift said.
"Well, in that case...follow me!" Pinkie said, grabbing Swift's hoof. Swift blushed at this embrace, he hadn't held another ponies hoof before. He had no idea why she said 'follow me' because she was dragging him the whole way. She had brought Swift to a place he hadn't seen yet. But before he could see anything, he heard something. Something loud. Dance music.
"We're here!" Pinkie exclaimed, letting go of Swift's hoof. He fell on the ground. Once he got up and dusted himself off, he looked at the obstruction causing this loud noise. He read the sign that read: Club 'HAY!'
"Pinkie....where are we?" Swift asked.
"Club HAY. I thought you needed to loosen up a bit, so, I want you to party!"
'Loosen up a bit? Has she NOT seen me lately?....Oh right....she hasn't.'
"Well, okay."
"HOORAY! Come on, follow me. I know the DJs, so we can get backstage time with them!"
They walked up to a huge, muscular white pegasus with very small wings wearing a skin-tight T-shirt with the word 'S3CUR1TY' across the chest. He was holding a clipboard.
"NAME!" He yelled.
"Pinkamena Diane Pie!" Pinkie chimed.
"YEAH! WHO'S HE!?" the guard yelled.
"Oh, that's my friend Swift. He's cool."
"YEAH!" The guard said, letting the two in. ***
"You try you're best but it's not quite there, you kick you're hoof and say 'It's just not fair!', a simple mare living simple dreams, a rumor that's not quite as it seems!" One of the Djs sung. He had a very obvious auto tune to his voice.
"Wow Neon, that sounded amazing!" Pinkie Pie said to the white coated colt. He and the other DJ had very...unique hairstyles. They were identical except Neon's was black and green and the other DJ's hair was dark and light blue.
"Thanks Pinkie! This your friend?" Neon asked, un-auto tuned.
"Yes indeedy! Hey Vinyl!"
"Wassup Pinkie!" the DJ named Vinyl yelled. "I really can't hear you right now, I'm listening to some beats!" Vinyl had headphones on, revising, by the looks of it.
"Uh, Pinkie? Your friend is kinda...." Neon whispered to Pinkie.
"I know, don't worry though, he's not going to hurt anypony."
"Whatever you say, Pinkie."
Vinyl had stopped what she was doing and came over to the three ponies.
"So, what's your name?" Vinyl asked, while working on a large object.
"Swift Slash, at your service," Swift said, bowing elegantly.
"Ha! Funny. I like you." Vinyl said.
"Uh, Vinyl? What the Hell is that?" Swift said, pointing at a huge piece of equipment that Vinyl was working on.
"Aw, it's nothing special it's just MAH BASS CANNON!" Vinyl said loudly.
"Interesting..."
"Well you two, we were gonna go start the show, you guys want backstage seats?" Neon asked.
"Pshhh! YEEAH!" Pinkie said.
"Alright, follow us!" Vinyl said. The DJs showed the two guests where to sit and watch them put on the show.
The DJs walked up on stage and Vinyl began:
"AWWW YEAH! GOOD EVENIIIIIING PONYVIIIILLE!"
The crowd on the dance floor started cheering ear-deafeningly loud.
The DJs started cracking jokes on stage to butter up the crowd in case they didn't like the music.
"And then she said 'there's no way you can make a dishwasher that cleans dishes with wubs' and I was like 'Screw that I'm Vinyl Scratch!' "
The crowd laughed hard at that one.
After a bunch of jokes, they began the music. Swift hadn't heard this type of music before, the ponies called it 'Dubstep'. Swift didn't really like it. He thought it sounded like two washing machines having hardcore sex. Although he did like Neon and Vinyl's rap section. He never heard rap before either, but he knew that was what he was putting on his iPod next.
Swift wasn't much of a dancer. In fact, he didn't know how to dance for shit. He also couldn't understand a word Neon uttered from the song they called "Rainbow Factory." Altogether, Swift had a good time, despite his lack of movement. It was good to go out and see the actual world rather than the world of swords and ass-kicking all the time.
After a while of partying, Swift was tired as Hell, while Pinkie was hyper as Hell.
"Well, Pinkie, I think I'll be on my way..." the drowsy Swift said.
"Aw, tired already Swift? Fine, see you tomorrow!" Pinkie said. Swift left the club and walked over to Fluttershy's cottage.
When Swift got there, it was 10:00. He didn't know how he did it, but he managed to be very late. Fluttershy was sleeping in her bed, so Swift went directly to his bed, thinking about the wonders that lay ahead of him tomorrow.
"Yes sir! We believe he is in Ponyville," the minion said.
"What?" Francis said, surprised.
"We have searched everywhere, the only town left is Ponyville."
"Well....shit. Okay, go search for him in Ponyville," Francis said.
The minions saluted and trotted off.
"I feel like a dumbass...." Francis said out loud. ***
It has been 2 months since Swift had left Anvil. He had been living a pretty good life. He still hasn't bought a house and remained to live at Fluttershy's house. He had also helped Fluttershy pay the bills with the large amount of bits he still has. He had thought everypony got over him being an assassin and all and started to like him, but, oh was he wrong.
"So, is everypony liking Swift?" Rainbow Dash said.
"No," the other mares said in unison.
"He's so sarcastic!" Twilight said.
"He's so rude!" Applejack said.
"He uses too many naughty words..." Fluttershy said.
"I used to like him, but now I see the REAL Swift..." Rarity said.
"Aw, come on girls, he isn't that bad!" Pinkie Pie said.
"Yes he is," Twilight quickly said.
"You just gotta look at his good side!" Pinkie said.
"What good side?" Applejack said.
"His.... only good side?" Pinkie said, defeated.
"And to tell you the truth girls, I really don't want him living with me anymore, he's...he's...he's....he doesn't clean up after himself, he thinks I'm a maid, he help with ANYTHING, and he's just plain rude!" Fluttershy burst out.
"....Wow.." Twilight said, speechless.
"He can't be that bad!" Rainbow reassured.
"Rainbow, don't judge until you've seen him for yourself," Fluttershy said.
"With pleasure!" Rainbow Dash said.
The other mares all said 'huh?' with confusion.
"What?" Rainbow asked, confused.
"Ya really wanna take him in after ya heard all about 'em?" Applejack asked.
"Yes I'm sure! How bad could he possibly be?" Rainbow asked.
"Okay, we'll go get him," Twilight said, "Go make room for him in your house and we'll bring him over."
"Okay," Rainbow said. ***
Twilight and the gang trotted to Fluttershy's cottage, to see the infamous Swift Slash, dancing like an idiot.
"Er, partner?" Applejack began, "Ya alright?"
"I'm fine laddie! I'm having a great time!" Swift said in an Irish accent. The assassin was drunk. "Look at me date! She's a pretty one, eh?" Swift was dancing as if he were dancing with another pony. To his surprise, they was no other pony.
"Sorry to break it to you Swift, but, there's nopony there..." Twilight said, face-hoofing.
"What are yee talking aboot? She's right her!" the intoxicated Swift pointed at thin air. "I think she wants the dick!" Swift whispered to Twilight.
"ENOUGH!" Twilight screamed. Twilight then proceeded to slap Swift swiftly across the face. Hard.
"Ow! What was that for!?" Swift asked, regaining soberness.
"You....you're going to live with Rainbow Dash....if that's okay with you..." Fluttershy said.
"It's not," Swift said.
"Oh...okay..." Fluttershy said.
"No, NOT okay" Twilight said. "We already made arrangements with Rainbow. Come with us and get your things."
"I, hate my life...." Swift Slash said.
"We hate it too," Rarity said. *** "There he is!" A minion said, pointing to Swift as he exited Fluttershy's house.
"Ah! I see! But why is he with so many mares?" The other minion questioned.
"Maybe he's a pimp or something?"
"Well, we found him, do we attack?"
"No! It'll blow our cover! We need to report back to master!"
"Well, let's go!" ***
"Well there it is!" Twilight said, pointing at Rainbow Dash's house. "Just fly up there and knock on the door."
"With pleasure," Swift said. He spread his wings and took to the sky, gallantly, swiftly, beautifully. Swift reached Rainbow's doorstep. He was purely amazed at Rainbow's house.
'DAMN! Her house is nice.'
*Knock Knock*
Rainbow opened the door, her mane swooshed back and forth as she opened it.
"Hey Swift! Welcome! Come in," Rainbow said.
'My assassin senses are telling me that her kindness is not a hoax!' Swift thought to himself. Swift entered the house and was amazed at what he saw.
"Rainbow Dash? Are you like, rich?" Swift said.
"Hehe, no, not really. I just know how to save up money," Rainbow said, blushing a little. "Anyway, let me show you around and where to put your things."
Rainbow gave Swift a tour of her house, then Rainbow directed Swift to her bedroom, and showed him where to put his things. Rainbow provided Swift with a closet and a chest to put any valuables. Swift was starting to feel safe around Ponyville now, so he place his sword and dual daggers in the chest. He put his spare underwear in the closet. (What? Wearing robes with no underwear? What a CRAZY idea!)
"So....where do I sleep?" Swift asked.
"Well..." Rainbow began, "I only have one bed, and the couches are very uncomfortable for sleeping on....so, you have to sleep in the same bed as me."
Swift immediately blushed and a warm feeling overtook his chest. Sleeping? With a mare? Never done before!
"Is that okay?" Rainbow asked.
"Uh, ah, um, err, I mean, yes, that's fine! Perfectly okay!" Swift stumbled.
"Great!" Rainbow said.
The two pegasi awkwardly trotted to Rainbow's living room, not knowing what to do next. Rainbow was still curious about Swift's life from the second she met him, so she decided to 'interview him'. She asked Swift to sit and pointed to a couch and sat down across from him. Swift sat down, slowly. Rainbow started to laugh.
"Sooo," Rainbow began, "Can I ask some personal questions?"
"Sure. I'm not that interesting though."
"Are you kidding me!? You're an assassin! You must have had a really cool life!"
"Eh. Not really. Anyway, shoot," Swift said.
"Well....how did you become an assassin?" Rainbow asked.
"Let's just say...I was born into it," Swift said.
"So when you were a foal, you were learning how to be an assassin?"
"Yup."
"Woah. Okay, lemme see.....OH! Do your parents know you're an assassin?"
A sudden urge to stab Rainbow came over Swift, although he KNEW she was going to ask something about his parents.
"One of them used to know, the other one never knew. Though it doesn't matter anymore..."
"What do you mean?"
"....I'm a damn orphan....alright?"
"Oh...I'm...I'm so sorry Swift!" Rainbow said, in a surprised tone.
"No...it's quite alright...." Swift said, exhaling, tearing up a bit.
Rainbow leaped out of her seat, with her wings, and landed perfectly next to Swift.
"I am so sorry! Don't be sad!" Rainbow said.
Rainbow tried her best to comfort Swift. When Swift looked up (Still unable to see his eyes) Rainbow smiled and hugged him. Swift was literally about to smash this filly's muzzle in, but she didn't know, and she means well. She also was kind of attractive. Rainbow put her hoof on Swift's hood, attempting to pull it down. Swift grabbed her hoof before she got to.
"Come on Swift, pull down your hood!" Rainbow said.
"No."
"Aw, why not? I want to see your eyes!"
"No."
"What if I just-" Rainbow said trying to pull down his hood with her hoof again. Swift grabbed her hoof before it got close enough to do anything again.
Without hesitation, while Swift was still holding Rainbow's hoof, Rainbow went in, for a kiss. Their lips met, Rainbow leading, of course. Swift had no idea this was coming, in fact, he had no idea what to do in this situation. His heart was racing, his chest started feeling really warm, his pants were getting tighter! Oh no! He had just lost his lip's virginity.
The kiss went on for about 15 seconds, Swift, too stunned to do anything, just sat there like a flaming idiot. His lips were moving automatically with the kiss by instinct. Rainbow couldn't tell, she thought he was kissing back.
Rainbow finally broke the kiss.
"So? How was I?" Rainbow said, then giggled.
"I-I-I-I-huh?" Swift blurted.
Rainbow giggled some more.
"You're a really good kisser, Swift," Rainbow said,
"...."
"Speechless, huh?" Rainbow said, smiling. She took this opportunity to take down Swift's hood. She had finally done it, she saw Swift's face.
"You have really beautiful eyes Swift!"
Swift wiped his lips with his hoof, put his hood back up, and said:
"Well, that's a first."
"You've never kissed a mare before!?" Rainbow asked, shocked.
"No."
"I guess I'm lucky to be the first," Rainbow said.
"Sure," Swift said, still mesmerized by what happened just a few seconds ago.
"Was it good for you?-"
"Well, I'm just gonna go to bed," Swift said, getting up.
"It's only 8:00?" Rainbow said.
"I'm tired."
"I'll come with you!" Rainbow said.
"Do you want to sleep?"
"Well, no. Bu-"
"No." Swift said, then walked to Rainbow's bed. He got in, while Rainbow was still on the couch.
'He's just so....mysterious. He's also cute, polite, with me at least, and forgiving....I think I'm in love.'
"Sir, we have found where he is!" A minion said with his buddy, running up to their master at his throne.
"Is he in Ponyville?" Francis asked.
"Yes! He's also a pimp!"
One minion smacked the other.
"What he means is he is around a lot of ponies. He's never alone."
"Do you know where he lives?"
"We have suspicion he lives in Cloudsdale with a weather mare."
"Do they have feelings for each other?"
"We're not sure."
"Find out! If they are, capture this mare and leave him a note telling him where to come to rescue her. We can't kill him if he's around a lot of ponies! We need to draw him out!"
"Yes sir!" ***
Rainbow Dash and Swift had been living together for a month now. To Rainbow's surprise, Swift was clean, organized, nice, and generous. He cleaned after himself, cleaned the house when Rainbow wasn't around, and paid the bills when Rainbow needed help with them. He was not nearly as bad as everypony made him out to be. The two have been getting along real nicely, and Swift started developing caring feelings for Rainbow. He would protect her from any danger, as if her bodyguard. Rainbow was the only pony that Swift cared for and could talk to. One day, his feelings for Rainbow had been challenged....
Swift opened Rainbow's door and entered the house. He had been invited to a party and wanted to see if Rainbow wanted to go....
"Rainbow! You there? Rainbow!....." Swift called out. He looked in every room, every corner, every crack. He couldn't find her. "RAAAAAAAINBOOOOOOW!?" Swift bellowed.
Nothing.
He looked in the last place he hadn't checked yet. The Bedroom.
Swift entered the bedroom, and to his surprise, nopony was there. What WAS there, was a note. It read.
To find your special pony, make sense to this change of events, blood on the walls is our master plan, Then find your mare back where you began.....
"Those sons of bitches...."
'They filly-napped Rainbow!' Swift thought to himself, while flying towards Ponyville. To find my special pony, make sense to this change of events....blood on the walls is their master plan, find Rainbow back where I began....!!!
Flashback!
He turned around to see the words YOU'RE NEXT in blood on the wall....
"They took her to Anvil..."
****
"You'll never get away with this!" Rainbow yelled at the minions.
"Aw, shut up ya dumb bitch!" The minion spat.
"What did you just call me?!"
"Did I st-u-u-ter?" These minions were sarcastic little bastards.
"Swift is going to murder you little foals, I swear it!" Rainbow said.
"Keep yapping, nopony is listening." ***
Swift grabbed his arsenal from his chest, and began his journey to Anvil. This time, he was completely healthy, full of energy, but most importantly, full of rage. He flew through the night's breezy air, with ease. He had it in his mind to completely annihilate every Guardian that gets in his way. He got to Anvil in no time.
He made his way up to the old Assassin headquarters. Everypony who was once dead on the floor was now gone, even his father. The blood that once stained the floors and walls was all gone. The only thing that remained, was the message that had made him cringe. The words 'YOU'RE NEXT' painted on the wall with blood. It was stained. It was faded, but it would remain there forever.
There was a note on his father's desk. It read:
Good! You figured it out. No more riddles, sorry! Anyway, your precious mare is with us, at our headquarters. You want her? come get her!
Swift was angrier than ever. He had traveled all this way to find that he had to go someplace else. He was filled with pure anger. In fact, he was:
0% luck 25% skill 20% concentrated power of will 5% pleasure 50% pain and he was going to give the Guardians a 100% reason to remember his name.
He took off in a heartbeat, flying towards the Guardians headquarters. He had never flown this fast before, the power of friendship is sure as hell something.
It didn't take him long to get there. When he landed in front of the master Guardian's throne, he left cracks in the ground.
There the Guardian master was, sitting at the top of his throne. Rainbow was shackled in chains next to the throne chair. The master Guardian was petting Rainbow's mane as if she were his pet.
"Ah, Swift Slash, we FINALLY meet face-to-face!" Francis said.
"Get your filthy hooves off of Rainbow!" Swift demanded.
"What? Do you love her?" Francis mocked.
"You could say that...." Swift admitted.
"So, would you mind if I..." Francis cut off, going in to kiss Rainbow.
Swift charged at Francis, both his hidden blades drawn, ready to turn Francis into a ka-bob.
Before he got to stabbing distance, two huge Guardian minions drew their spears in front of Swift's path, slowing him down.
"So, you're too much of a coward to kill me by yourself, eh?"
"What are you talking about? They're here to make sure you don't cheat!" Francis said, then leaping out of his throne chair. Francis pulled out his prized possession.
It was a huge, doubled sided battleaxe. Not only was it sharp and pointy, it was on fire.
"Wow.....what a rip off," Swift said.
Francis swung his ax at Swift. Swift jumped over it and hacked down with his sword. The sound of metal-on-metal filled the air. Rainbow was being guarded by the two other Guardians, to make sure she doesn't try anything. She was rooting for Swift, but the Guardians shut her up.
Every time Francis swung, Swift had no choice but to dodge it. If he tried to deflect it, the immense weight of the ax would over power Swift's sword, disarming him. He also couldn't afford to get hit from the ax either. If the impact didn't kill him, his burning robes would.
Swift had thought that Francis was poorly trained with fighting, since he sat on his ass all day. But Francis could kick some flank.
Francis kept swinging, Swift kept dodging. Swift was waiting for the moment to strike, but Francis wouldn't let that happen. When Swift saw he wasn't going anywhere with this, he flew past Francis and cut the chains off Rainbow and picked her up. She was severely weakened by the Guardians, so she wasn't capable of flying. Once he passed Francis with Rainbow in his hooves, Swift stabbed him in the shoulder blade, and pushed him face down into the ground.
"Get him!" Francis yelled, then coughed and grasped for air. He spat out blood.
Four Guardians flew after Swift with bows and arrows. Francis stayed back, Swift had penetrated deep enough to stab Francis in the lung. He wasn't capable of flying after Swift.
Swift flew with Rainbow in his arms, the only thing he cared about, was getting Rainbow to safety. The four Guardians still chased Swift, firing arrows at him. He dodged every attempt.
"*Cough* Th-thank you, Swift," Rainbow croaked.
"No problem, Rainbow Dash," Swift said.
Rainbow went in for a kiss, Swift saw and went in to meet her halfway. The second their lips touched, Swift felt a sharp, hot, stabbing pain in his right wing. He looked back to see that an arrow that was on fire had hit his wing. He collapsed.
When he fell, he made sure Rainbow landed on top of him. When he hit the ground, he grunted. He had got the wind knocked out of him.
Rainbow got off of him right away, and looked at Swift, crying.
"SWIFT! Are you okay?" Rainbow asked.
Swift wheezed.
"Yeah...I'm fine! Don't worry."
Rainbow kneeled over Swift hugging him, and said:
"Swift, I...I love you."
'She...she loves me? She loves me!'
"I....I-" Swift said, then saw something in the corner of his eye.
He pushed Rainbow off of him, and embraced for an impact.
Another arrow, on fire, had been launched and penetrated his heart.
Swift eyes opened widely with shock, then his eyes closed slowly.
"Swift? SWIFT? SWIFT!!!!" Rainbow yelled, crying.
Swift had died *****
As Rainbow lay sprawled over Swift's grave, crying, she sung a song.
"So trot with me through the Autumn leaves, And keep close to stay warm..... Soon you'll see how much you mean to me.... Feelings I've never felt before....."
