Fancy That?

by HapHazred

First published

Whilst attending the opening night of an art exhibition, Princess Luna notices her sister admiring one of the ponies there more than the paintings. She tries to find out what is so special about the millionaire patron of the arts Fancy Pants.

Whilst attending the opening night of an art exhibition, Princess Luna notices Celestia spending an above average time with a wealthy patron of the arts. She makes it her business to find out what makes this stallion so special, and why Celestia seems to very awkward around him.

My first foray into straight shipping, I guess. Teen for sexual themes.

Fancy Pants Stole My Sister

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Luna could feel the yawn coming. It rose up in her throat, slowly building strength, and she clenched her teeth together to strangle it before it became too strong. She had been awake for far longer than she'd have liked. It didn't help she was prone to staying up late, keeping an eye on the night she had created. She was running on barely four hours of sleep.

Still, this was hardly the place to let her fatigue show. Her skies were precious to her. Each one was a painting, a magnificent picture that could never be replicated. It was for that reason that she paid the utmost respect to the artists work showcased at the Grand Canterlot Hall, a truly magnificent building that hearkened back to the days before her banishment. The walls were adorned with countless mirrors, and dozens of magnificent paintings were held before them on beautiful easels. The night was as tasteful as any she had been to, and Luna was determined to keep up appearances.

Art was pure expression. It was no coincidence, she remembered, that the nights before her banishment had been recorded as the darkest in history. Her own feelings plastered onto the sky, some said.

"More champagne, milady?"

Luna turned towards her aide, a middle-aged pony butler. His vicious, reptilian eyes completely hid the warm and tender heart Silver Cup possessed. A kinder and friendlier soul Luna had never met, and he had been wonderful enough to behave as one would have a thousand years earlier, for the sole purpose of making her more comfortable.

"Why, yes," Luna answered, levitating the delicate crystal cup using her magic. "Thank you, Silver."

She walked up to one of the paintings, the most colourful in the entire room. She smiled when she recognized the subject of the painting. There was no mistaking Rainbow Dash's sonic rainboom anywhere.

"How gauche," came a snide voice to the side. Luna tilted her head.

"You think so?" she asked the nameless pony. "I find it to be a magnificent expression of colour."

The pony she had addressed backed away, a nervous look on his face. He was evidently concerned about angering the Princess. Luna didn't smile. Whilst she was happy to defend the painting she found so distinctive, she wasn't happy to be treated with fear.

"He's just nervous about your rank, milady," was Silver Cup's reassuring comment. Luna sighed, and her face brightened.

"Thank you," she replied. "I keep forgetting." She looked around the grand ballroom. "Perhaps we should seek out my sister: surely she must be getting quite lonely." Silver's lips pursed. Luna raised an eyebrow. "You have something to say?"

"Perhaps it would be best to leave her Highness to her own devices for this evening, milady," Silver suggested. "After all, your presence can be further asserted if you are in two places at once."

Luna tilted her head. "Agreed, but I wished this to be a family outing!" she declared. "And one cannot visit a grand exhibition with one's sister when one's sister is not available for fun."

Silver conceded this point. "Your logic is irrefutable as always."

"Excellent," Luna declared. "Bring me to my sister at once! We shall peruse these wonderful works of art and have an enjoyable evening!"

"More champagne, milady?" Silver asked her, holding out a new glass. The old one had become empty.

"Yes," Luna told him. "But you shall not distract me from my quest. Onwards," she said, well aware of Silver's devious tactics. The champagne had been a ruse, she thought.

The pair strode through the crowd of sharp dressed ponies towards where Silver had last seen Princess Celestia. The mob of nobles parted easily due to Luna's size and the respect she commanded.

"Why dissuade me from seeing my sister, Silver?" she asked, puzzled. "Your motives elude me."

Silver Cup remained stoic. "I was under the impression your sister may be occupied."

"Then we shall rescue her from said occupation," Luna replied. "This shall be an evening of merriment."

"Yes, milady."

As they escaped the milling ponies, Luna caught sight of her sister. Celestia was hard to miss: she towered over most ponies, and her mane took up more space than a full grown stallion. Not to mention the aura of pure nobility she bore. Not even Luna could match it, which was a source of great frustration to her. Celestia oozed calm respect, even under pressure. Luna was, as Silver had once pointed out to her dismay, far too 'playful'.

Well, that was due to change, Luna thought to herself. Celestia was far too stuffy. She would have fun this evening, and nothing she could say would stop her.

"Silver, prepare two more glasses," she ordered, handing him the empty glass. Silver gave Luna a wide eyed stare as he refilled the glass, and then another.

Luna noticed the crowd around Celestia. Two mares, she noticed, dressed in fabulous golden dresses. Luna snorted: she had no need for clothing to complement her regal beauty, she thought to herself, and neither did Celestia. Luna's deep, lustrous coat was stunning enough. The third pony, a unicorn stallion, wore a pitch black tuxedo. His voice was the most distinctive thing about him, Luna remarked. If Stilton cheese had a voice, it would sound like that. Rich and pleasant, with a hint of mischief to it.

Celestia chucked to some joke he had said. "Quite right, Mr. Pants," she told him.

"Oh, please, call me Algernon. It's far more informal than Mr. Pants, and Fancy just sounds pretentious," the stallion replied.

Luna's eyes narrowed as Celestia chuckled again. "T'was not even funny," she muttered under her breath. How could Celestia have amusement without her royal presence to assist her? It boggled the mind.

"Sister!" she exclaimed, and exploded between the pair like a cork from a pop-gun. "We shall explore the exhibition! Silver, provide the champagne!"

A glass levitated before Celestia's nose. "The champagne is provided, milady."

"Then we shall depart! Come, I have found the most colourful painting of all creation! Its like has not graced Equestria since time began! It is highly pretty!" Luna grabbed Celestia by the hoof and dragged her away from her personal crowd. Celestia would thank her later, she thought. "Come! We shall have fun!"

Celestia widened her eyes in surprise. Fancy gave a hearty laugh as Luna continued to pull. "Oh, Luna..." Celestia babbled, taken by surprise. "Well, of course. Mr.... Algernon, do join us!"

Fancy Pants adjusted his monocle and trotted after them. "How can I refuse?" he said, a smile playing his lips.

Luna only just stopped her jaw dropping. We do not require you to have fun, she thought.

Celestia took ahold of the glass Silver was providing and managed to shake herself free from Luna's grip. "You can stop pulling, Luna," she warned. "I can walk fine on my own."

The trio made their way through the crowd, Luna leading the way awkwardly. This was not going according to plan. Celestia should be alone with her, not catering to appearances by discussing politics with some noble!

"Where is that accent from," Celestia asked. "I can't quite place it."

Strange and mysterious politics indeed, Luna thought.

"Trottingham, Princess," Fancy replied. "Born and raised."

"Do call me 'Tia, Algernon," Celestia replied. "Princess is far too formal, and Celestia just sounds pretentious," she added with a smile.

Inconceivable, Luna thought. Only I can call her Tia! 'Tis not right!

"Here it is, Tia," Luna declared, pointing towards the painting of Rainbow Dash's sonic rainboom. "Is it not colourful!"

"More than colourful, I'd say," Fancy pointed out. "In fact, I insisted the exhibition include this one personally. They felt it was too avant-garde. Even had the gall to call it 'impressionistic',."

"You were able to get the management to change their minds?" Celestia asked, raising her eyebrow. Fancy nodded.

"My name carries a certain amount of weight. I try to use it as well as I can."

"How noble," Celestia said with a smile.

Pay attention to me! What are you doing, 'Tia?

"What is this 'impressionism' you mentioned?" Luna asked, desperate to salvage the conversation. Fun was still within her grasp!

"Impressionism is a derogatory term for a style of art," Fancy explained. "Though I hear the artists themselves rather enjoy it." Fancy eyed the painting. "They have a very peculiar way with light that I find enjoyable and unique. A pity most critics disagree."

"History has a way of changing its mind over time," Celestia said. "Impressionists may yet get the recognition they deserve."

Fancy nodded. "I hope so. It is a sad thing to see something beautiful go unappreciated," he said, giving Celestia a look. Luna felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

It must be the monocle, she thought, that is the source of that look. Celestia blushed. 'Tis not the monocle.

"Let us find a new painting!" Luna exclaimed. "Perhaps this one shall provide more entertainment!"

Both Celestia and Fancy observed the new painting Luna forcibly placed them in front of. This one was a portrait of a mare Luna did not recognize. A model, perhaps. In fact, given her poise and elegance, it seemed more than likely.

"Ah, yes. The Mane-a Lisa," Celestia said. "I remember this one. The artist was quite proud. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to know it became a staple of art for centuries to come."

This time, Fancy had no comment. Luna saw his brow furrow and knot together. Huzzah! Now perchance he shall leave me and 'Tia by ourselves!

Celestia hesitated. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked Fancy. The stallion shook his head, forcing a smile back on his face.

"Oh, no, not at all," he said. "I was just taken by surprise when you talked so... casually about a work of art done... goodness, centuries ago."

Celestia brushed her mane out of her eyes. "Yes... yes, sorry about that."

"Don't you worry. It simply took me by surprise... 'Tia."

Luna froze when she heard the noise Celestia made. Her snout crumpled up as she realized, much to her absolute horror, that her sister had giggled.

"Art thou diseased, Sister?" she asked, slipping back into her old-speak out of sheer surprise. Celestia stood petrified.

"Nay, Luna. 'Twas but a—" Celestia stopped herself from following suit. "I think the champagne must have gotten to me, is all."

Luna felt an uncharacteristic nudge from Silver. She shot him a glance. "What?"

"I believe the buffet is available, milady," he said. "Perhaps you are feeling hungry?"

Luna looked over at Fancy, and then at Celestia. Neither looked happy. She turned back to Silver. "Why, yes, I do believe all this... fun... has had me working up quite an appetite." She held out her hoof as jovially as she could manage. "Lead me to dinner!"

Silver bowed to Celestia, who returned him a curt nod. Fancy raised his glass at him as the two departed, and the last thing Luna saw of the pair was them spluttering at each other, visibly embarrassed.

"How dare the lowborn steal my sister from me!" Luna muttered, grumpy. "'Tis not right."

"I believe, unless my senses deceive me, that her Highness wished to be stolen."

Luna stuck her chin out. "'Tis no excuse. Is this normal behaviour in today's Equestria?"

"Milady, I believe you misunderstand," Silver began. Luna shook her head.

"Nay, Silver, I understand perfectly. This Fancy 'Algernon' Pants seeks to sabotage my relationship with my sister for some unknown purpose!" She narrowed her eyes. "Perchance he seeks—"

"Milady, you are slipping back into Equestria's former tongue," Silver advised her. Luna stopped in her tracks.

"Quite right. I am flustered. Forgive me," she replied. "This simply... was not how I expected the evening to go."

They reached the buffet. It was crowded, but it parted quickly for Luna and her servant. "I understand entirely, milady... but there is very little one can do in such a situation."

"And what situation is this, pray tell?"

Silver hesitated. "Perhaps it would be best to explain in a less public setting, milady. I fear your inexperience with modern ways might begin causing quite a bit of trouble for yourself and her Highness Celestia."

Luna stomped her hoof as she took a small cheese cracker. "All I wish is to cause trouble for the upstart, Mr. Pants."

"I doubt your sister would approve of that arrangement."

"What she approves of is irrelevant: it her her safety I am concerned for."

"I am most certain her Majesty will take the proper precautions," Silver said. "You know her feelings on protection."

"Yes. I am aware she surrounds herself with guards at all times." Luna swallowed another cheese cracker whole. "Her guards cannot protect her from herself, though, no matter how hard they may try. I, on the other hand, am perfectly prepared to do what is necessary." She sighed, and looked over the crowd at her elder sister, still standing alongside the devious Mr. Pants. "You would do best to educate me in modern ways as soon as we return to the palace. I... feel most uncomfortable watching my sister and not understanding her." She looked over at Silver. "In olden times we were hardly close, but I could tell what she was thinking. Her speech matched my own and etiquette wasn't... so informal. I am at a loss. I feel a stranger among my own family."

Silver nodded appreciatively, and handed her another platter of crackers. "Of course, milady. I shall explain all when we return. Until then, I recommend the Griffonian Goat's cheese: it is exquisite."


The carriage ride back to the palace felt cold and detached. Celestia refused to acknowledge Luna's outburst earlier, and stared out the window, admiring the night sky. Luna's fatigue had returned, and she realized she wouldn't be equipped to watch over the night this time around. A pity: it looked sublime.

As soon as they had dismounted the carriage, Luna trotted to her room, Silver Cup in tow. Once they arrived at the Princess's quarters, the Night Pony butler closed the door.

"Now, Silver, you must explain. What is the meaning of my sister's sudden behaviour?"

"Milady... I suspect you are not quite familiar with modern... romantic procedures, are you?"

Luna remained quiet. Silver gave no indication he felt awkward in any way whatsoever.

"I am... unaware."

Silver nodded. "I thought as much, milady."

"Are you suggesting that Princess Celestia of Equestria would associate with a lowborn in such a manner?" Luna asked, narrowing her eyes. "If I recall correctly, he was Mister Fancy Pants, not Lord."

"That matter is considered far more trivial than it was in your age, milady."

Luna sat down, stroking her powerful chin. "I shall investigate. And was my sister reciprocating these advances?"

"I believe that it's far too early to say for sure."

Luna rolled her eyes. "Nonsense! Courtship is an extravagant affair, and there would be poems recited and banquets held. Is there not an equivalent for modern times?"

"...Not as such, milady."

"This strikes me as highly irresponsible. How should one know?"

"There is considerable amount of guesswork involved, milady, but I believe, if my intuition is to be trusted, that Celestia was interested."

"Guesswork?!" Luna exploded. "Romance is not guesswork. It is passion, not dilly-dallying on the spot like a confused filly!"

Silver nodded. "I can see why it might seem that way, although this method also allows the participants to discover their prospective partner well in advance."

Luna pouted. "I find the matter ridiculous. For if it were true, then I would have acted the clown before my sister and her romantic partner, which is an eventuality I will not consider." She crossed her forehooves. "Find another explanation."

"I fear that is beyond my abilities, milady."

Luna hung her head in defeat. "I... see." She straightened herself out. "Well, I do believe I must make amends. I shall also require your assistance in future endeavours, Silver." She got to her hooves and exited the room, giving only just enough time for Silver to follow her.


Celestia was standing in front of a large, ornate paining hanging in the corridor. Why she had stopped there, Luna didn't know. The painting was unremarkable at best, just another portrait of a mare. She shrugged internally. Perhaps this was a night for quiet contemplation.

"Sister!" Luna exclaimed. Celestia was dragged from her reverie and spun her elegant, regal head towards her. "I wish to... clear the air."

"Uncanny use of modern speech, milady," Silver said. Luna beamed with pride.

"Is this about Fancy?" Celestia asked, guessing Luna's intent without the need for words. "I assumed you would be somewhat confused."

"I am," Luna declared, squaring her stance. "Is it true that, in my absence, the nobility and royalty of Equestria have begun associating with peasants and commoners?"

Celestia narrowed her eyes. "That depends entirely on who you ask."

"I was asking you, 'Tia."

Celestia nodded. "Then yes, this is true. Since... goodness, it must be five hundred years now."

Luna flared her wings. "In that case, we... I wholeheartedly approve of your union with Fancy 'Algernon' Pants." Luna held her head high. "I have a desire to be modern, and 'tis far more important to me that my sister shall enjoy herself, with or without my assistance." She became deadly serious. "However, we demand that you shall be available for fun at least once a week."

"...my 'union'?" Celestia asked. She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Ah, of course. I remember now..."

"Milady, I should have also mentioned that courtship has a tendency to last far longer than one thousand years ago," Silver went on. "One doesn't ask for marriage after a few encounters any more."

Luna eyed her servant. "Yes, you should have mentioned." She turned back to her sister, watching the pair with an amused look in her eye. "I take it you follow my meaning nonetheless."

"I do. Thank you."

"I must also apologise for my behaviour at the exhibition: I was unclear as to Fancy's motives." She shifted her gaze to the side. "I am still not entirely certain, but I shall investigate the matter thoroughly," she added under her breath. "Tell me more about him. I would like to understand my own sister better."

Celestia smiled, the warmth in her gaze almost blowing Luna away. Her previous actions may as well have been forgotten. Celestia had a natural talent to forgive ponies and help them forgive themselves.

"He's... well, kind. Educated. A little sad, too, if you pay attention. He makes it his business to accept opinions and beliefs, even when he doesn't share them himself," Celestia explained. "I met him... It must have been at one of the Grand Galloping Gala's. He was very adept at mingling and manoeuvring the crowd, but what caught my attention was the conversations he had with Cadence. About books."

"Books." Luna looked unimpressed.

"Cadence was very learned in the classics. She assumed Fancy was as well... he does appear at a glance like a noble of that sort, but he surprised her and myself by referencing children's books. I believe it was for my benefit," Celestia went on. "He has a daughter, you see, and was recalling the stories he'd read to her. It reminded me a lot of when I was taking care of Cadence."

Luna remained stone-faced upon the mention of Fancy's daughter. Silver leaned towards her, almost imperceptibly. "It is also considered far more acceptable, milady, to remarry. It is not uncommon for ponies with children to find another partner."

"Yes, of course," Luna replied. "I assumed this to be the case, but thank you for your input."

Celestia chuckled at the exchange. "I paid more attention to him at further events after that."

"This Galloping Gala. Was it this years? With Twilight?"

"The one before that."

Luna widened her eyes. Silver leant back towards her. "Much longer courtships."

"I can tell, thank you."

"I'm not even certain there is anything there," Celestia said. "We're both very busy, and we only exchange a few pleasantries on occasion. I'm not convinced he even sees me in that light." She looked back at the portrait. "The nation comes first, as do all my little ponies. As Princess of Equestria, I'm not prepared to relieve myself of my duties because of a stallion. I believe Fancy knows this."

Luna nodded. "'Tis true, 'Tia, but now there are two Princesses of Equestria." Luna grinned. "And if I cannot help my sister be happy, then what good do I serve?"

Celestia narrowed her eyes as she followed Luna's meaning. "You wouldn't."

"I would!"

Celestia's voice almost became a growl. "You are not to meddle."

"I shall meddle, and you cannot stop me!" Luna exclaimed and cantered away. "Besides, I am fascinated by these modern times. So much is permitted, and so little is efficient. I shall understand more!"

And I shall understand you, sister.

She rounded the corner, leaving Celestia and Silver Cup alone in the corridor. The Princess turned to the butler.

"You shall do your utmost to keep my sister from ruining my life," she instructed. "You know how excitable she is."

"I am fully aware, your Highness, although you must know that there is only so much in my power."


Actually, Scratch That...

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The treble needed adjustment, Vinyl thought. She flicked a few switches and turned back to her screen. The lines and dots on the screen could only be understood by her, and her alone. That was her talent. Even magnificent musicians, even her special somepony couldn't handle the type of control Vinyl had over sound. Few musicians even thought in terms of Hertz and wavelengths. No, Vinyl knew she was alone.

That's what made her love it.

She heard a quiet knock on the door. She turned the volume up on her headphones. If they knew her, they'd leave her be. If they didn't, she didn't care to meet them.

She laid her hoof on the ground. The hard wooden floor would let her feel any further vibrations from the outside world, even if she didn't want to pay attention to them. She simply found them less distracting than the noise. It was a technique she had learned from history books. Beethoofen had done something similar with a piano.

She didn't need to use the vibrations in the ground to hear the next knock. No matter how loud her music was, it couldn't drown out the thundering sound as her door got pummelled. Vinyl dropped everything and spun around on her chair, flicking her headphones off her head.

"Yeah?!" she shouted. The door opened, revealing two ponies.

The first one she saw was frightening enough to look at. With reptilian eyes and disturbing bat-like wings, it gave her a polite look as it adjusted its suit. It didn't matter to Vinyl. Just looking at its teeth was worrying enough.

The second pony was far more imposing. It was surprising, in fact, that she hadn't noticed her first. Even for a recluse like Vinyl, she recognized Princess Luna's starry mane and powerful frame. Behind her tinted glasses, Vinyl's eyes widened. "Oh."

"Miss Vinyl Scratch!" Luna exclaimed loudly. "We wish to interrogate you about your father!"


The office rooms were almost empty. Vinyl was a night owl. She preferred to work under the cover of night, where she wouldn't be as distracted by trivial matters. Like ponies.

Of course, this did not account for ponies who kept similar hours. Princess Luna, whilst not wholly nocturnal, had the habit of staying awake until three in the morning. And then there was her butler. Vinyl hadn't heard much about Night Ponies, or Batponies, or Thestrals or whatever... But she knew they were nocturnal.

Once her initial fright had died out, she was surprised by how inoffensive he was. He acted like... a butler, she supposed.

"So. What's this about my dad?"

She poured herself a cup of thick, black coffee. It looked more like tar than anything anypony would want to drink, but Vinyl was accustomed to it. It couldn't be any worse than the tea Octavia drank.

"'Tis a matter of utmost importance," Luna declared. "He is taking an interest in..." She looked around consiprationally. "...my sister."

Vinyl shrugged. "So? He keeps an eye on loads of artists, scholars, and stuff."

"His motivations are hardly the same!"

Vinyl didn't react in any way. She looked as expressionless as ever. "Uh huh. So?"

"I must know his likes and dislikes!"

Vinyl sipped the vile drink she had concocted. "Why?"

"I must gauge his suitability. My sister's happiness is at stake."

Vinyl scoffed. "Oh, I think I get it." She put her drink down. "Listen, my dad is a real smooth talker. Loads of ponies think he's charming, and everything... refined, and all that. And sure, I guess he is." Vinyl's expression fell. "But I think your sis' might be misreading some signals somewhere."

It was then Silver's turn to speak up. "That may be so, miss. However, I find it highly unlikely that I would misread said signals."

Vinyl gave him a look. "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?"

"A gentlepony has ways of understanding gentleponies of similar dispositions. Perhaps more so than their own daughters." The corners of his lips curled. "An outside opinion can be far more revealing than an implicated one."

Vinyl picked her coffee up again. "Okay. So why come to me at all, then?"

"Because, being an outside viewer, I cannot observe him as much as milady wishes me to."

"Miss Vinyl, the happiness of two ponies is at stake," Luna said. "One of them is even of consequence!"

Vinyl went silent. She wasn't familiar with the monarchy... she didn't even care what happened to Celestia. But something in what Luna said stung her. One of them is even of consequence, she thought. There was no doubt in her mind that Luna had been referring to her sister... but Vinyl took the matter very differently.

There were only two ponies she considered 'of consequence' in the world. The first, the only musician who could keep up with her, made her happier than even music itself could. Octavia was... special.

And the other was her father. Even if Vinyl was right, and he wasn't interested... Didn't she want him to have the same happiness she did around Octavia?

Perhaps she was letting her own feelings cloud her judgement. She wasn't sure. She'd ask Octavia later.

"Okay, whatever," she said. "He likes colourful things, and being surprised. He's kind of artsy that way."

Luna's face lit up. "You shall assist me?"

Vinyl shrugged. "Yeah, why not?"

The Princess of the Night turned towards her servant. "Do you see, Silver? Our persistence has defeated the young mare's reticence. Now we shall secure our victory!"

"Indeed, milady."

"...So long as your sis' isn't going to hurt my dad," Vinyl added. "He's just a guy, 'kay? I don't want your Princess madness getting his feelings hurt."

Silver sighed. "I think that with milady's involvement, madness is all but a guarantee."

Luna ignored him. "I am assisting my thousand year old sister to get engaged in a unmarried relationship with a single father!" she exclaimed. "I believe I am becoming 'modern'."

Vinyl frowned to herself. She promised herself to talk with Fancy as soon as she woke up next afternoon.


Vinyl trotted through the spacious corridors of her father's city house. She still had mixed feelings about them to this day. They were so large, and so empty. The whole house had been almost completely devoid of life when she was a child. It was like existing in a vacuum, she mused. Little wonder she moved out as soon as she had the opportunity. She wondered what effect that had on Fancy.

The stallion in question was out on the balcony. It overlooked a fair portion of Canterlot. Unlike a lot of nobles jostling for a view of the country, Fancy preferred to keep an eye on the streets. He liked ponies, he said, and preferred to keep them in sight.

"Hey," she said. "I let myself in."

Fancy Pants was holding a drink and book. He put both down when he saw Vinyl approach. "Ah! Vinyl." He gestured to a seat on the far side of the balcony. One of three. "Take a seat, if you want."

Vinyl obliged. She was a pony of few words, and Fancy knew it. "I got a visit from somepony last night."

Fancy raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Uh huh. She gave me this." Vinyl unfolded a small piece of paper covered with elegant hoofwriting. Fancy examined the paper with his monocle.

"This is... what is this?" he asked. "It's just a list of things. White roses delivered by servant, ballads recited at midday, banquets... I fail to see the meaning of this."

"It's Princess Celestia's favourite things," Vinyl explained. "According to Princess Luna and her butler."

Fancy put the paper down, and rubbed his nose. "Ah." His face darkened. "You didn't..."

"I gave them one for you, yes."

Fancy Pants groaned loudly, and took a long sip of his drink. Vinyl knew it would be alcoholic. "I didn't peg you for a meddler," he said. "You never cease to surprise me."

"I didn't want to," Vinyl said. "But it's been ten years, dad."

The older stallion became sombre. "I know, Vinyl."

The pair fell into uncomfortable silence. It was Vinyl who decided to break it first. "Why the Princess, of all ponies?"

Fancy chuckled. "I didn't mean to, I assure you. I think she reminded me a lot of myself, is all." He smiled. "Not to sound pompous, of course."

"Yeah, you totally remind me of a centuries old princess," Vinyl deadpanned. "That ego of yours will get ya' one day."

Fancy grinned. "Not today, I hope. Now then," he said, picking the paper up again. "...Despite your unwelcome interference, I shan't look a gift horse in the mouth. Let's take a look, shall we?" He browsed the list once again.


Luna trotted through the gardens, going through the things she had learned in her head. So much had changed, she realized. Not just politics and dress code... but how ponies thought and behaved. Even though she knew they spoke differently and the borders had changed hands a little, she couldn't help but be amazed.

What else was new, she wondered? What else could she learn?

Vinyl had been a strange one. Music from electricity... the very thought was inconceivable.

She was determined to make the most out of her newfound knowledge. She found her sister sat by the fountain, surrounded by documents. Each sported different seals, and were made out of different parchments. Luna even recognized a handful from centuries ago. There was the seal of Minos, and... yes, she was able to make out the old Crystal Empire seal too. The years spent on the moon had not dulled her memory.

"Tia!" she exclaimed. "I have something for you!"

Celestia looked up, the faintest flash of exasperation visible on her features. "Yes, Luna?"

"There is no need to look so petulant, sister," Luna said, a little cross. "I have something that will please you."

She handed the note to Celestia. This one was hastily scribbled in ugly text. Vinyl had many talents, but clean writing was not one of them. Celestia recognized what it was immediately, given their discussion the previous night. "Luna, I told you not to meddle." She narrowed her eyes. "And I instructed Silver to dissuade you, too."

"Silver's allegiance is mine. And besides, he tried tempting me away, and it failed."

Celestia skimmed the list. "Watching the Wonderbolts Derby... Books by A.K. Yearling... not the Daring saga... Who wrote this?"

"That would be a young mare names Vinyl Scratch, Tia. She is a competent musician." Luna's eyes widened with exitement. "She makes sound using electronic currents at modular frequencies! I have instructed Silver to fetch me a book on the subject."

"And what is Vinyl's relationship with Fancy?" Celestia asked, becoming increasingly suspicious.

"...she is his daughter."

Celestia's shoulders sagged. "You pestered his daughter?"

"I did not pester!" Luna argued. "We formed an alliance."

"An alliance requires give and take from both parties," Celestia said, her quick political mind driving her to an inevitable conclusion. "One of these is in Fancy Pants possession, am I correct?"

"Yes, and the list was very exhaustive."

Celestia leant back. "I was wondering how this could get any worse."

It was then that their discussion was interrupted by a well dressed pony, trotting towards the pair. Luna quickly appraised the young stallion, and smiled. It seemed that Fancy was putting his plans into motion faster than anticipated.

"Your Highness," the stallion said, bowing. Celestia eyed him with a suspicious air.

"Yes?"

"Flowers for you," he said, and held out a large and elegant bouquet of perfect, snow-white roses. Celestia widened her eyes. "From Algernon."

Celestia levitated the flowers, unsure of how to properly respond. Luna watched the exchange with an exited bounce. It had been many years indeed since she had learned this, but before her banishment, Celestia's favourites had been those very flowers, white roses. And Fancy knew which ones were the best in Canterlot. It seems Celestia's opinion of him was correct: he was a stallion of taste.

"I, um... yes, thank you," Celestia said, flustered. She turned back towards Luna. "This doesn't mean I'm not still upset at your involvement."

"I cannot fathom why," Luna replied. "You have what you wanted."

"...perhaps, but it was not your place," Celestia argued. She looked back at the bedraggled piece of paper. "I... I have work to do, and a meeting to attend." She got to her hooves.

Luna watched her sister leave, becoming peeved at her cold attitude. "I only wished to make you happy, Tia, and to understand."

Celestia hesitated. "...I know," she said. "It is simply... awkward."

Luna frowned. "This is why I am confused. When did the Princess of Equestria start acting like a nervous schoolfilly?"

"Since we stopped being gods, Luna," Celestia replied. "We are no longer worshipped in temples. We are mortals now, just like everypony else."

"I am getting that impression," Luna said. Celestia sighed.

"Gods cannot have friends. Gods cannot just talk, and enjoy the companies of others. I am no normal pony, but after you left, I couldn't survive being alone. So I changed things. I began the Chuckle-lot. I made friends." She smiled. "I even made more than friends."

"This is why I seek to understand," Luna explained. "I wish to become more modern. I wish to be more like you."

Celestia went silent. The as neither pony talked, the gentle breeze sounded more like a gale, and the rusting leaves became a roar.

"I think it would be best if you came with me," she said at long last. "I think it's time I show you something I should have shown you as soon as you returned."


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After leaving the gardens, Celestia talked. She spoke seriously, and Luna's attention never wavered for an instant. They entered the castle and began to make their way through the winding staircases towards Celestia's chambers.

"When you left, I did try to keep everything together. I had my court of advisors, after all, and they were all brave, competent ponies," Celestia explained as she led her sister through the corridors. "It was highly impersonal. I was, for all intents and purposes, a ruler and nothing else. My commander, Ser Cerulean, was the first to notice my increasing frustration, and how it was affecting my nation."

"I recall Ser Cerulean. He was a squire, was he not?"

"I knighted him after your banishment," Celestia said. "For exceptional heroism. He had the nerve to confront me about what I was doing, and my attitude," Celestia said. "Back then, this was not as simple a matter as it would be today. I was furious and almost had him sent away. I am eternally glad I did not."

"That does sound exceptionally heroic," Luna commented.

"The two matters were separate. I knighted him for a different reason entirely," Celestia said. "Anyhow, I suppose I must have been truly lonely to listen to him. He convinced me to take a day off. You of all ponies should know how difficult a task that would have been."

Luna knew. Celestia hadn't stopped working... ever. It had driven her insane, and had been the beginning, perhaps, of their centuries long feud. Luna felt a pang of jealousy at the thought that a mere knight succeeded where she, Celestia's own sister, had failed. Celestia caught her disappointed look and was quick to reassure Luna. "It was your departure and his advice that convinced me. I suppose even after you succumbed to the Nightmare forces, you were still helping me."

Luna's gaze softened as Celestia continued her tale.

"I'm certain that he was my first real friend, after yourself. I slowly opened up to the court and began acting less the deity and more a mere ruler... with all the insecurities that came with it. I felt the need to prove myself far more, and every mistake stung more keenly than ever."

"What of Ser Cerulean?"

"His heroism was the end of him. He did not return from his third act of bravery, tragically."

Luna scrutinized her sister for any sign of sadness or regret. She found none. "'Tis a sad thing."

"It was. I have had centuries to heal from that wound, thankfully. It wasn't long after that I realized my friends in the court were disappearing, and being replaced with new ones. I did not mind. We are, after all, very long lived, and I was only ever stricken with grief when they were taken by force. Except in one case."

The pair stopped in front of the portrait Celestia had been standing before the day before. Luna knew without asking that it had significant importance to her sister, but she dared not comment.

"Five hundred years ago, I met a... very exceptional pony. He was not especially brave, or even kind, but he had a wit and warmth that rolled off him. I confess I was quite taken with him. I had... explored romance before, but not quite to that degree." She gestured towards the painting. "Out of all the ponies I have met in my thousand years, she is the one I truly miss the most. She was my daughter."

Luna felt her stomach tighten. Not simply because her own sister had neglected to tell her of such a monumental event in her life... truly a moment that would have changed her forever... But because of the wistful pain that glazed over Celestia's expression as she looked at the painting, succumbing to sorrow.

"How?"

Celestia didn't waver. "Just a cold, of all things," she said. "She was a bit feeble, though, especially when she got older. It was very peaceful. It didn't matter, though. I was prepared for anything but that. Ser Cerulean, even her father... It stung, but it never hurt." Celestia sighed. "I buried myself in the past. The effect can be seen on Equestria, too. Canterlot advanced much slower than cities free of my influence. Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Applewood... they were all decades ahead of me. When I finally returned to the world of the living, I was nothing more than an antique."

Luna held her hoof up to argue, but Celestia silenced her.

"It's true. I served only to raise the sun and moon, and was very distant from politics. So I changed in response to the changing of the times. I... loosened up. I made many more friends, and not just among the nobility. I felt a strong connection with teachers, in particular, and started up my own school. I even took on new lovers, in time. They passed away like the others, but I never cried. Never again."

"I am truly sorry," Luna babbled. Celestia turned towards her younger sibling.

"Don't be. I'm not insecure. I may have changed, but my heart is as strong and resolute as it was when we ruled together. But please promise me you won't try to join me across one thousand years of alternating joy and grief before your time," she said. "It was wonderful at times, and I want you to cherish those moments. But not the other times. I wouldn't wish those on anypony."

"And your Fancy, he is just another pony?"

"No... no, I don't think of it in those terms," Celestia went on. "They are each unique and special, and I never compare them. There would be no use: I loved every one, and they each filled a place in my heart at the time." She sighed. "I suppose I owe you an apology. I didn't mean to snap. Although I hope you understand why it is awkward for me to be pushed into any relationship."

Luna nodded. "Yes... I didn't realize the stakes," she said. "Although I promise my intentions were pure."

"I know they were," Celestia said, putting her hoof around her sister. "There is nothing wrong with wanting one's family to be happy."

"That is all I want," Luna said. "Always."


"Oi! Go, ya' magnificent blighter! Cut through the middle!"

Fancy Pants was leaning against the railing, eyes transfixed on the racing track. All around him the zealous crowd shouted and roared. The particularly vocal mare below him was particularly entertaining. All he cared about right then was the race. He had a hundred bits riding on Soarin, and he was eager to see him win.

The track was oval in shape, and far from horizontal. It was at an incline, so that half the track involved the flyers gaining altitude and the other half had them shooting downwards, transforming their hard earned potential energy into kinetic, shooting down with the speed of a coursing river. The athletic pegasus was currently stuck in third, behind Spitfire and Sky High. He was obviously struggling, too, much to Fancy's chagrin.

"Come on," he muttered under his breath, his hoof tightening around the betting slips. It wasn't even that the money mattered to him. He just wanted to win.

"Enjoying the race?" came a familiar voice beside him. Fancy turned, his monocle dropping from his eye. Towering a good head above him, Celestia gave a wry chuckle. "I recieved information from a reliable source that you never missed the Wonderbolts Derby."

The crowd that was perpetually gathered around Fancy Pants vanished. Celestia had that effect on ponies. When she wished to have a private conversation, other ponies instinctively knew to leave. Fancy quickly closed his jaw, not wishing to appear too flabbergasted than was considered acceptable.

"I... Yes, I always attend the races," he said. "It's been a favourite pass-time of mine for decades." He glanced back at the race. His eyes widened when he saw Soarin cut into second place, only for them to cross the finish line, signalling the end of the race. He threw his hooves in the air. "Oh, bloody hell!" he shouted. "So close!"

Celestia eyed the leaderboard. "I see Sky High came in first. What a coincidence. I'm certain everypony would have placed bets on Spitfire."

"Not everypony," Fancy replied. "I was banking on Soarin. Spitfire has a pattern to her wins. Every now and then, she hits a slump. It's taken me years to figure it out, and I was sure Soarin would win. Only for him to be beaten by some newcomer."

Celestia smiled, and leaved through a few betting slips of her own. "I imagine the odds must have been pretty low on Sky High."

"Very," Fancy said glumly. He looked over at Celestia. "Who did you bet on?"

"Sky High, naturally," Celestia said. "I always bet on the least likely horse. It makes the victory all the sweeter." She smiled. "Speaking of unlikely, I got your... package."

Fancy brushed his mane back semi-awkwardly. Even then, he still strove to maintain an elegant image of himself. "Yes, I, ah... had a little advice from a pony you might know."

"Likewise." Celestia sat down on one of the chairs in the booth. "I'm surprised Luna ever found out about my preferences in flowers. It was... so very trivial at the time."

"Much that seems trivial is often of vital importance," Fancy said. "It's why my favourite series of books is the Day At series by Yearling. Nothing exiting like her Daring Do novels, of course... but if its of importance to the characters, then it's important to me." Fancy replaced his monocle on one side of his nose. "I suspect that Luna thought the matter was important to you, and therefore made a point of remembering."

Celestia nodded. "A wise opinion." She looked at the racetrack with a curious look in her eye. "I wouldn't have thought you were a betting stallion, Algernon. You always seemed rather cautious."

"It's hardly like I can lose so much money I'll go bankrupt," he said. "Besides, I've enjoyed this since I was young. I deal with so many new artists, models, fashionistas and the like I feel the need to return to my roots now and then." He gave a dissatisfied sigh. "You know... I'm rarely all that impressed with the new directions in art and culture. It sometimes seems so random and unfocused... But it's far more worthwhile than being stuck in the past constantly."

"True. I know the feeling."

Fancy nodded. "I suspected you did. When it hit home that you were, in fact, a millennia old, which is a surprisingly easy thing to forget, apparently... I imagined you must have much more insight to the matter than me." He adjusted his coat. "I'd rather not rehash old memories, though. I'm quite comfortable looking towards the future. It has much more potential, no matter how much I may miss... well, everything."

Celestia got to her hooves and stood next to Fancy. They both overlooked the racetrack, watching the ponies clear up the mess the racers had left behind them. There would have to be another race later, after all, and if it looked like it did now, the Wonderbolts wouldn't be able to fly anywhere. Broken clouds littered the place.

"Well then," Celestia said, "let's enjoy the present, shall we?" She nudged the unicorn playfully. "Dinner at my place?"

"I would be delighted, Tia."


The room was definitely not to Vinyl's liking. First off, it was huge. She felt like she might get swallowed up by the vastness of it any second. Second off, there was the company. Admittedly, Octavia was making the ordeal much more enjoyable, and her constant presence made listening to the Princess's odd speech patterns bearable. Looking over at her special somepony, Vinyl couldn't help but wonder if the silent and polite musician might even be enjoyingherself.

"Tonight," Luna exclaimed, "we drink to our success! Silver, provide the refreshments!"

Vinyl adjusted her headphones. She didn't like the kind of volume Luna was throwing at her. Thankfully she could dial down how much noise she'd hear around her. It kept everything nice and clean.

"Perhaps you could lower your voice a notch," Octavia asked the Princess. "We have a bit of an issue with loud noises."

The hint of a smile played Vinyl's lips. Octavia would always have her back.

"Certainly! We shall use the Royal Canterlot Indoor Voice," Luna said. "I mean, I shall use the normal Canterlot indoor voice. Is that not right, Silver?"

"Your tone is exceedingly normal, milady."

Vinyl took the drink that was offered her. Octavia followed suit. "It seems interfering with other ponies business pays off," the earth pony said.

"Only when done correctly," Luna replied.

"That sounds about right," Octavia muttered. "I'm still surprised you got Scratchie-watchie to help you," she said, using to Vinyl's dismay her favourite pet name in front of the Princess. "She's awfully touchy sometimes."

"I used my skills of diplomacy to great effect," Luna said.

"Meaning she told me it'd make my dad happy," Vinyl butted in. Octavia beamed.

"Gracious, you are such a softie."

Vinyl's expression darkened. She was not a 'softie'. A small squeeze from Octavia removed the matter from her mind, though.

"This leaves my sister occupied far more than usual," Luna said. "And although I was able to negociate sufficient us-time, I find myself needing new companions to enjoy the evenings with." She took a deep breath. "Would you be willing to accompany me and Silver to Crystal Chalice's wine tasting come next Thursday?"

Before Vinyl could answer, Octavia gave a small squeal of delight. "Oh, that sounds wonderful!"

Vinyl caught Silver Cup's smug look. Suddenly she was very aware why the mischievious butler had sent for the both of them. She grit her teeth with frustration.

"Oh... goodie," she growled.

"Don't be so grumpy, Vinyl," Octavia scolded. "You'll be going with me, after all."

Well... admittedly, the prospect did sound a lot better after that. Vinyl sighed.

"Can't wait," she said. Yeah... because a wine-tasting is so me.

"It shall be an old fashioned wine tasting!" Luna exclaimed. "And it shall be fun. We have had enough of this 'modern' thinking for a while, and I shall be taking a break." She flared her wings. "I can tell we shall be the best of friends!"

Vinyl sighed again. "Can't... wait."