Paul's Persistently Protracted Practice Pieces

by PaulAsaran

First published

A collection of short stories written for the Writeoff Association monthly contests.

Sister-story to Paul's Peculiarly Puny Practice Pieces


A collection of short stories written as contest entries for the Writeoff Association. This collection will only feature the stories with word counts between 2,000 and 8,000 words. The contests with shorter word count limits have their own separate compendium: Paul's Peculiarly Puny Practice Pieces. Check below for a list of each story and a short description.

Note: Random tag added because I have no idea what prompts will arise in the future. Check each story's description to see its individual tags.


As One Falls: [sad]
Celestia and Luna have been waiting patiently for the world to wake up from the madness of Starlight Glimmer. At last the time has come to be freed of their long imprisonment and fix the damage caused by a society based on equality. Yet Luna senses a far greater threat on the horizon than a regime at the end of it's rope.

The Secret Weapon: [dark?] [comedy?] [weaponized cuteness]
The worst has come to pass. One of Earth's interdimensional explorers has been compromised and brought some of them through the portal. They claim to be friendly and peaceful, but León knows better. He won't let these ponies get to him, oh no! They are certainly not adorable, they absolutely cannot be allowed to roam free, and they truly are a clear and present threat to the world. If only he wasn't trapped in a file closet while the accursed things spread like a plague of cuteness. But he won't give in, oh no.

Banned for a Reason: [comedy] [fluff] [no thinking required] [foal princess]
Starswirl returns to his laboratory one evening to find it occupied by a little blue foal whose smile has a few too many teeth...

Great Expectations: As One Falls

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As One Falls
Prompt: "Great Expectations"
Story Placement: 16/42

Inhale.

Exhale.

Bathe in the darkness.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Hold steady against the cold.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Rise above the hunger.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Take comfort in a close presence.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Ignore the…

She blinked, the first thing she’d done in an unknowable length of time. Her ears shifted, slowly rotating to take in all sound. She heard nothing save the breathing of her companion and herself.

Did she open her eyes, or had they always been so? Regardless, she attempted to move her head. Her neck protested with an acute soreness, but moved nonetheless. No light was needed to know where to direct her attention. She saw nothing, of course.

This did not ease her mind.

Though her entire body provided fierce debate, Luna forced it into motion, shifting and fidgeting and wiggling to get the blood flowing once more. How long had she remained in her meditative state?

How long would she keep asking pointless questions of herself?

She licked her dry lips and swallowed. Her jaw ached as she opened and closed it experimentally. A few trial sounds rose from her throat, beginning as growls and moans, but gradually returning to normalcy. That done, she turned to the figure at her side, impossible to see but most certainly there.

“Sister?”

The pause lingered, but Luna could sense Celestia’s motions as she repeated Luna’s gradual return to awareness. After a time, Celestia’s voice croaked out, “I am here, Luna.”

“The world is quiet.”

“Hmm…” Celestia made a few sounds, experimenting with her voice. Once it had regained its regularity, she responded, “Yes, it would seem so.”

“Do you think they are changing tactics again?”

“Perhaps.”

Luna waited for her to continue. She did not. “How many times have they used the ‘silent treatment’ now?”

Celestia shuffled in the darkness. “This would make the fifth attempt, if my memory serves. It is a shame; despite the bland tonality, I do enjoy hearing Twilight’s voice.”

“I wholeheartedly disagree. Though I’ve nothing against Twilight’s voice in particular, I do prefer to hear something different from time to time.”

“Hmm.”

They remained silent for a while. Luna didn’t bother to guess how long.

“I wonder if they’ve acquired some new slogans,” Celestia mused.

Luna groaned. “Let it not be so! They are so horribly uninventive.”

“They are the product of their dogma. When nopony possesses oratory skills or creativity, one cannot blame them for failing to be original.”

Luna frowned at the darkness. “Mayhap they’ll finally turn on the lights. I cannot even recall what this room looks like.”

“Dull. Undecorated. Boring.” Celestia sighed. “Like everything else they’ve ever produced.”

“True. Perhaps not being able to see this place is more a blessing than a curse.”

“We could always ignite our horns.” Celestia did so, her face appearing grim and worn in the dim glow she produced. It wasn’t enough to illuminate more than a couple feet around them, but at least it gave them faces to address. “That’s a little better, yes?”

Luna reached up to touch her sister’s gaunt cheek. “This imprisonment has not been kind to you, dear sister.”

“Nor you, little sister.” Celestia’s eyes were hard. “Yet we shall endure, as we always have. It is only a matter of time.”

“They’ve not fed us in a long while.” Luna felt at her ever-empty stomach. She’d long grown accustomed to the pangs. “Is it part of their efforts, or has the time finally come?”

“Let us hope for the latter.”

“Let us hope they haven’t all succumbed to hunger before remembering that we are here.”

“I have told you many times: it will not happen.” Celestia turned, perhaps to where she recalled the door to be. “Twilight will realize her folly, and when that time comes she will free us.”

Luna’s frown deepened, but she said nothing. She had no interested in engaging her sister in yet another lengthy argument on this topic.

Seconds ticked by. Celestia’s face hovered in the dim lighting like that of a ghastly apparition, her haggard features reminding Luna of all they’d been through together since their defeat. Despite all the changing tactics, the near-continuous propaganda, the entreaties from friends and enemies alike, the Royal Sisters still had not been broken. Luna considered this a proud thing.

What did mortal ponies understand of an alicorn’s mentality? She had spent a thousand years alone on the moon. These punishments were nothing in comparison. Celestia did not have that… ‘advanced training,’ yet she weathered the ordeal far better than any of the foals could have anticipated. And why not? The life of a mortal was but a blink in the life of an alicorn.

“They approach.”

Luna’s thoughts drifted away as she turned her attention to a door she could not see, but knew from long experience was there. Sure enough, hoofsteps rose from the hallway beyond. She focused her ears on the sound, counting the steps. “There is only one of them.”

Celestia stood, her horn going dark. “Then it is finally time.”

Though doubt nagged at her, Luna rose as well. “Can you be certain, sister? They may have merely made the mistake of believing one of them alone is enough.”

At Celestia’s silence, Luna turned her attention back to the door. She considered attacking directly, but pushed the thought down. She knew that her sister would not join her. She was weak from malnourishment and, thanks to the abominable curse, her combat skills would only be equal to their visitor. No, fighting would not solve this problem.

The sound of rattling of keys reached her. After some consideration, she decided that waiting would be the best course of action, if only to attain a better grasp of the situation.

As always, the opening of the door consumed a great length of time. Bolts turned, chains rattled, bars fell. When it at long last opened, it was with the scream of hinges desperate for oil. Luna squinted through the brightness of the world beyond, able to make out the form of a lone figure.

Silence. The figure stared into the darkness, features invisible due to the lighting. Luna and Celestia stared back in quiet expectation, neither excited nor eager, but with a mild curiosity.

At last the figure shifted, and a female voice spoke. “Sorry. Don’t know how to turn on the lights.”

The sisters shared a thoughtful frown. Luna answered, “Are you not here to plead with us to reconsider?”

She figure shook her head. “I’m here to set things right.” She stepped back, and at last her features cleared. She was a middle-aged unicorn, her coat a pale orange. Her dark violet mane was short and wild, something that immediately caught Luna’s attention. Perhaps her sister’s expectations were accurate after all.

“Would you please come out where I can see you?”

Celestia led the way, her shadowy form blocking out the lighting of the doorway. Luna followed, her eyes slowly adjusting. They stepped out into a long hall of stone, undecorated save for a ventilation tube running along a top corner. Out here, Luna came to understand that the place had a very dim lighting to it, but it still stung her eyes.

She stood beside her sister, taking a moment to study Celestia’s body. Her ribs were distinctly visible and her mane hung limp over her shoulders. These things were to be expected, of course, and Luna didn’t have to check herself to know she shared the appearance. What did disturb her – what would always disturb her – was the equality mark on their flanks. Where she less stable, she might consider gouging the things off with her own horn.

Luna bit down her disgust and turned her attention back to their visitor. The unicorn’s appearance seemed to confirm Celestia’s suggestion, for she too appeared haggard and malnourished. Even so, she stood tall before the sisters, her jaw set in an expression of determination.

“It would appear you are right, dear sister,” Luna said. “It is indeed time.”

The unicorn’s certainty slipped. “‘Time?’ You mean you know what I am about to say?”

Celestia nodded. “I assume Equestria is on the verge of death. Famine, illiteracy, pestilence, economic devastation, foreign invaders?”

The pony swallowed audibly, her wide eyes darting between them. “How?”

Luna sighed. “Do you really need us to explain it to you? There’s—”

She went silent at Celestia’s raised hoof. Though her teeth grinded, Luna stepped back and allowed her sister’s moment.

Celestia’s eyes never left the pony. “What is your name?”

“I have no name.” The unicorn regained her hard expression. “I cast it aside in defiance of the Guild, but since I can’t come up with any good alternatives, I simply chose to go without.” Her cheeks reddened slightly and she averted her gaze. “Every pony in Equestria has the same dull, uninteresting names, many of them based on the precepts of equality. We just aren’t creative enough to come up with anything else.”

“I understand,” Celestia replied, her voice ever patient. “So what shall I call you?”

“I have no idea,” the unicorn confessed.

“This is ridiculous,” Luna grumbled.

“Patience, sister.” Celestia addressed the unicorn once more. “In answer to your question, my sister and I knew from the very beginning that a society based on equality would fail. There is famine because none of the ponies are skilled in agriculture or meteorology, and so they cannot properly grow the food needed to feed the entire population. Ponies are illiterate because there are none who posses any teaching talent, or students with the capacity for learning – and Starlight Glimmer would have education controlled regardless to avoid the rise of ambition and alternative cultural concepts.”

Celestia sat before the gaping pony and continued her explanation. “With illiteracy comes a lack of doctors and nurses, and medical knowledge will gradually be lost. With this loss goes the understanding of sanitation methods and disease prevention. Of course, the lack of literacy and ambition also leads to a loss of entrepreneurs, trade and financial development. With no ponies skilled in money management, the economy enters a death spiral.”

Luna took over when Celestia paused. “And of course, equality relates to a unicorn’s magic. When every unicorn is substandard and limited to mere levitation, control of the day cycle would have to fall upon the one pony who refused to ever be equal: Starlight Glimmer.”

At last the unicorn’s shock was such that she managed to speak. “How did you know Starlight hadn’t been equalized?”

“Because,” Luna growled, “she was obviously a tyrant. From the moment she first opened her mouth upon our defeat, we knew she’d not submitted herself to the spell. Nor would she. The entire ideology was an elaborate scam to gain power over the masses. Of course, if she—”

“Your point is made, sister.”

Luna scowled but said nothing more.

Celestia paused to ensure Luna wouldn’t interrupt, then turned her attention back to the unicorn. “I gather Starlight found a way to control the sun and moon on her own, or else things would have collapsed far more swiftly. But she’s dead now, isn’t she?”

The unicorn nodded, her motions slow as she took in Celestia’s knowledge.

“And left no heir, I presume.” When the unicorn failed to answer, Celestia heaved long sigh. “I am sure Equestria’s neighbors noticed the kingdom's rapid decline and took advantage of it. We noted the ever-increasing chill: nopony knows how to lower the moon, or raise the sun. Now not only Equestria, but the entire world faces doom because of Starlight’s ambition and lack of foresight. I imagine some other nations are trying to conquer Equestria as we speak in hopes of saving the two of us so that we may continue our work.”

Her explanation done, Celestia stepped back to stand beside her sister, expression regal. The two of them watched as their visitor took in everything that had been said, her expression shifting from astonishment to wonder to disappointment.

“So,” Luna said, “how accurate were our expectations?”

“Frighteningly so.” The unicorn shook her head and turned away. “We’re taught that the Royal Sisters were blatantly incompetent. It’s good to know my doubts have been confirmed. Please follow me, there are some individuals who would like to talk to you.”

The sisters shared grim expressions and followed.

They passed out of the hallway and into the Canterlot dungeons proper. They looked much like Luna recalled… only now they appeared to have been recently in use. The cells had new bars, and she was certain she saw a torture rack in one of the interrogation rooms. Clearly Starlight’s methods had… ‘advanced’ over the years.

“Tell me,” she said as they reached the stairs, “how long were we sealed in that room?”

“I’m not sure,” the unicorn replied over her shoulder, “but close to a century.”

Luna’s lips contorted into a sneer. “I wonder how long it’s been since they bothered to feed us?”

“I wouldn’t know, I’m not familiar with their methods for you two.” Their guide glanced back again. “How did you keep from being brainwashed for so long?”

Luna stiffened. “It will take a lot more than what they offered to pierce the minds of alicorns. We have lived far too long and seen far too much to succumb to a foal’s ideology.”

They entered a courtyard of Canterlot Castle. The grass was brown and lifeless, and cold stone masonry had replaced the once shimmering marble towers. Luna could see from a swift inspection that much of the original castle remained, however. She could only assume that the ponies of the age weren’t skilled or ambitious enough to work with the original marble, much less maintain the castle with it. The place was deathly quiet, with not a single pony present to note their passing.

Celestia ignored their surroundings, her attention focused on the unicorn. At last she spoke up. “You are related to Rarity Belle, are you not?”

The unicorn froze. “H-how do you know that?”

The sisters paused behind her as Celestia replied, “There is a clear resemblance.”

For some time, the unicorn refused to speak. When she did, her voice came out hard. “She is my great aunt. Her sister, Sweetie, was my grandmare.” She resumed walking, but her body remained stiff. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not discuss it.”

Luna glanced at her sister, but it seemed Celestia would not press the topic. She decided to follow her lead in this matter. Instead, she turned her eye to the sky. The sight of the waxing moon sent a small shiver down her back and brought a smile to her lips. A hundred years without seeing her dear companion! Were it not for that infernal curse limiting her powers, she would grasp it in her magic just for the sake of the sensation.

Yet she pushed down her pleasure and turned back to the unicorn. “Is there any indication of how long the night has lasted?”

“No,” their guide replied as she entered the castle once more. “Long enough to wither every plant in Equestria, at least.”

Luna exchanged another long, grim look with her sister.

The rest of the trip went in silence, but Luna readily recognized their destination by the route. After some twenty minutes, they came upon the throne room, the once-beautiful redwood doors now made of iron via some shoddy craftsmanship. The unicorn pushed the door open with some effort and led them inside.

There stood the throne, once a brilliant pillar of leadership, now a horrendous display of opulence and control. The sight of its golden design and copious equality signs brought a cringe to Luna’s face. A quick glance around revealed that the room retained its old design, but she could see where old banners and tapestries had been ripped away. The stained glass windows had also been replaced, the uncolored glass letting the moonlight stream through.

At the center of the room stood a small, round table, and two individuals sat before it on threadbare cushions. Luna was mildly taken aback: the individual on the left was a griffon, albeit a small one by the race’s standards. He was grey with some brown streaks on his neck, wings and tail. To his right was a deer, her fur brown fur dappled with white spots along her back. The two stood the moment the sisters arrived.

The unicorn gestured to two cushions set for Celestia and Luna. “Please, have a seat.” As they did, she walked around the table to sit directly opposite them and between the griffon and deer, who resumed their places.

The griffon, his expression hard, nodded to them. “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna. I am Night Pinion, servant of Emperor Swiftwing.”

The doe inclined her head to them, her expression as serene as her voice was soft. “And I am Light as a Leaf, Student of Lord Wide Horn the Farsighted. It is an honor to meet you both.”

Luna cast a look from one to the other. “I assume your presence in Equestria is not public knowledge.”

“No,” Night Pinion replied, “it is not.”

Celestia turned to Light as a Leaf. “I find it very difficult to believe that the peace-loving Tribes of Green would go to war with Equestria, even under the circumstances.”

“You are correct, Your Highness,” Light as a Leaf replied with a pleasant smile. “We are not at war. The Council still saw the need to act, of course, and so I am here.”

Night Pinion grimaced, his claws kneading the cushion on which he sat. “The Grypha Empire, however, is at war with Equestria, but only because we need to resolve the solar situation as soon as possible.”

Celestia nodded. “And why isn’t Princess Twilight Sparkle here to take part in this clandestine meeting?”

The three exchanged hesitant looks. The unicorn shifted in place, her eyes going to the floor. Luna tensed as understanding dawned upon her, but Celestia only appeared frustrated. “You cannot tell me my personal protégé has yet to figure out the folly of following Starlight Glimmer’s preposterous scam.”

“Princess…” Light as a Leaf chewed her lip and wouldn’t meet Celestia’s gaze.

It was Night Pinion who finally spoke, the words coming quickly. “Twilight Sparkle is dead.”

Luna cringed, casting a wary eye to her sister.

Celestia gaped at the griffon, her body rigid. “That… That can’t be. She is an alicorn. Even with the equality curse, she can’t age.”

“She died in battle,” Night Pinion replied, an impatient edge in his tone. “The minotaurs invaded Equestria some forty years ago, and Twilight Sparkle led the defense.”

The unicorn nodded, though she wouldn’t meet Celestia’s gaze. “But thanks to the curse, Twilight had no concept of military strategy or leadership. She tried to make up for it with sheer numbers. It… it was a slaughter.”

“No.” The strength seeped out of Celestia, who sagged and trembled as she tried to take this news in. “Not Twilight. P-please, don’t tell me that.”

Luna considered comforting her sister. She raised her hoof to do so… but let it drop. Celestia was strong, and this was not her first grave disappointment. The pain she felt would require decades of care, which Luna would happily provide… after they’d settled matters.

For her part, Luna felt little. As far as she was concerned, Twilight Sparkle had died the day she’d succumbed to the propaganda. The pony who lured them into the trap, who let Starlight Glimmer curse them without so much as a chance to fight back, who regularly tried to indoctrinate them into the new national cult, who wore Twilight’s coat and face and voice? That was a pony Luna refused to mourn. No, she would mourn the pony Twilight had been, the one who mastered the magic of friendship and saved Luna’s soul, not some brainwashed doppelganger.

Besides, there were others to worry about. Seeing that her sister would need time to take the news in, Luna took over the conversation. She turned her eyes to the three opposite the table. “What of Princess Cadance?”

Light as a Leaf shook her head. “None know. Princess Twilight managed to convert Princess Cadance, and the Crystal Empire soon followed suit. Not long after, things fell apart. Queen Chrysalis now sits on the Crystal Throne.”

Luna bristled at the mention of the changeling queen. “Then Cadance is likely dead.”

“We can’t say for certain,” the unicorn pressed, though there was little hope in her tone. “The changelings have sealed off the Empire entirely. Since then, nopony who ever entered the borders of the Empire has ever come out. It may be that the princess is being kept alive.”

A flighty fantasy… but Luna supposed it possible. “For now, I will assume she is lost to us.” She glanced aside at her sister’s whimper, but Celestia only maintained a wide-eyed stare towards some distant object only she could see. Luna sighed and, reversing her previous decision somewhat, set a hoof to Celestia's shoulder.

Yet her attention remained on the current situation. “What is it that you intend from us?”

Night Pinion scoffed. “Isn’t it obvious? Why else would Grypha stoop to working with these tree huggers? We need you to control the sun and moon again!”

Light as a Leaf ignored the griffon’s manner and nodded. “Our two nations have worked hard to ensure that Canterlot would fall to the rebels. We’ve done it all specifically to free the two of you.”

“And now that you’re free,” the unicorn declared with a grin, “you can do just that!”

“No, we can’t.”

The three gaped at Luna, but she maintained her firm expression. “My sister and I have been subjected to the Equality Curse. Our magic is as substandard as that of every other unicorn in Equestria, and certainly isn’t strong enough to control the solar cycle.” She turned to Light as a Leaf. “Are none of the Council Lords capable of the task?”

The doe sagged and shook her head. “We are creatures of the Earth, Princess. We might be able to manipulate the plants at our hooves, but the skies above our heads are alien to us. Lord Tongue of Silver did try to grasp the Sun, but the feedback consumed him; he is naught but ash now.”

“It would be him,” Luna grumbled. “That stag never did understand his limitations.”

“This is a fiasco!” Night Pinion slammed his claws to the table. “We sent griffons to their deaths for this? What good are either of you?!”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “Am I to believe Grypha invaded Equestria just to save my sister and I?”

Yes!” He pointed a talon at the unicorn by his side, who cringed. “We had a deal! If Grypha kept the Guild distracted via warfare, the rebels would retake Canterlot from within, free the two of you and bring order back to the world. If I go to the Emperor and tell him we sent griffons to their deaths on a fool’s errand, he’ll hang me by my own entrails.”

The unicorn sputtered, her eyes wide. “We really believed they could do it! They’re Celestia and Luna, the greatest ponies to have ever lived. Princess Twilight continued to sing their praises even though they refused to accept the new society.” She turned to Luna with a pleading gaze. “Surely there’s some way you can fix this before the entire world is dead!”

“There is a way.”

All eyes turned to Celestia. Her angst had gone, replaced by a deep scowl and a coolness in her eyes. Luna recoiled; there was a sense of presence in her sister that pierced her very essence.

“On one of her visits, Twilight deigned to inform me that all the cutie marks are being kept in vaults throughout Equestria. We need to locate the vault with Luna’s and my own cutie marks.”

Light as a Leaf rubbed her chin in thought. “I’ve never heard of this.” She turned to the unicorn. “Have you?”

“I…” She shook her head, hooves tucked to her chest. “N-no, I never heard of this. It isn’t taught in the schools, and I never had a cutie mark other than the… the curse.”

Night Pinion flapped his wings, face marred by irritation. “Of course Starlight Glimmer would keep such information to herself and her most trusted subordinates.”

“Those vaults are the key to reclaiming Equestria.” Celestia cast her firm gaze about the table. “I imagine all of the ponies who originally succumbed to Starlight’s mad plans are dead now?”

The unicorn nodded.

Luna carefully watched her sister through all this. “Did Twilight say anything about what will happen if we free the cutie marks of those moved on?”

“It never came up.” The lack of emotion in Celestia's voice ignited long-held fears within Luna.

Celestia turned to the unicorn. “You say you’ve never had any other cutie mark?”

“No.” Again the unicorn shook her head. “All foals are given their equality marks upon reaching the age of six. It’s considered a right of passage now.”

Night Pinion strummed his claws on the table. “What do you propose, Princesses?”

“Find the vaults,” Celestia replied with confidence. “Once we have freed the cutie marks of my sister and myself, we can go about removing the curses of all the ponies. This will free them to perform as destiny intended them to, and the Guild’s equalized ponies will stand no chance. Equestria will be free in short order.”

“That’s not going to be easy,” Light as a Leaf said. “We don’t know where the vaults are, or how many of them exist, or which ones have your cutie marks. We don’t even know if your marks are located in the same vault, and you can rest assured the Guild has each vault carefully hidden and protected.”

“More to the point,” the unicorn added, “all the rebels are cursed, just like all of the Guild. We are all equal in terms of leadership, organization, combat ability. The only thing that changes the odds are sheer numbers, and the Guild vastly overwhelms us in that sense.”

Celestia turned her eyes on Night Pinion. “That is why the war must continue.”

Luna, her eyes having yet to leave her sister, blinked. “Did I hear you correctly? You want to condemn more ponies and griffons to their deaths?”

“Civil War is upon us, sister,” Celestia replied coolly. “I will no longer tolerate Starlight’s abomination of a legacy to exist. If more blood needs to be shed to purge it from these lands forever, then so be it.”

Luna continued to hold Celestia in her gaze, looking for any sign of hesitation in this decision. She saw none… and that disturbed her more than anything she’d yet noticed.

Night Pinion grinned. “You’re less of a pushover than I expected, Princess. What did you have in mind?”

“Grypha must keep the Guild busy,” Celestia replied. “Do whatever you must, but don’t let up. Force the Guild’s eyes and army to focus on you, while we and the rebels search for the vaults.” Her attention turned to Light as a Leaf. “I know your race refuses to enter direct warfare, but any assistance would be appreciated.”

The doe nodded. “Our geomancy is as strong as ever, and will likely prove invaluable in your search for the vaults. I will send word to the Council of your plans. Given the nature of the situation, I doubt there will be much resistance to sending more agents such as myself into Equestria’s borders.”

“We can begin by searching Canterlot,” the unicorn declared, her voice firm once more. “I imagine Starlight would have wanted a vault close to her seat of power.” She rubbed her hooves together with a grin that reminded Luna strongly of her great aunt. “I can’t wait to find out what my real cutie mark is meant to be, or to use it to put an end to the Guild!”

“Hmm…” Night Pinion sat back and gazed at the ceiling. “I’ll have to contact the Emperor, obviously. I make no promises, but I believe he will agree to this plan.”

Celestia shot him a dark look. “He has no choice. The lands covered by the moon will run out of food soon, and those within the sun will become uninhabitable in a matter of weeks due to the heat. Swiftwing has no time to dally in alternatives; he either sacrifices a few griffons to the cause or watch all perish.”

Luna chose her words carefully. “All might perish, regardless. I doubt we can find all the vaults before it is too late, and if we locate the wrong ones?”

“All the more reason to begin immediately.” Celestia stood, her gaze falling on the unicorn. “Passion Flower, am I to assume you are the leader of the rebels?”

The unicorn blinked. “Did you just call me… ‘passion flower?’”

Celestia sneered. “I refused to refer to you as ‘unicorn’ and ‘she’ all the time! If you cannot choose a name, then I’ll give you one. Now answer the question.”

Passion winced. “Well, we have no ‘leader.’ The other rebels sort of… ‘voted’ for me to be the one at this meeting.”

“You’re a leader now,” Celestia snapped. “Come, show me to the others. I would explain our goals directly. By your leave?”

The question was aimed at Night Pinion and Light as a Leaf, who both nodded. Celestia started to walk away, but paused when she noted that Luna was not at her side. She looked back over her shoulder. “Are you not coming?”

“In a moment, sister.” Luna gestured to the others. “I would have a few final words.”

“So be it, but make haste: we’ve no time for dalliances.”

After Celestia and Passion were gone, Light as a Leaf pressed her forehooves together in a contemplative manner. “She’s far more… ‘fierce’ than the stories claim.”

“I like her,” Night Pinion added with a grin. "For a pony made equal, she somehow has managed to retain her sense of leadership."

"Our age, experience and knowledge have allowed us to resist many of the more psychological effects of the curse." Luna stared at the doorway her sister had passed through, thinking on Celestia’s manner. At last she turned to the others. “You could not tell, because you are not accustomed to her and she masks her emotions very well, but my sister is furious.”

“Furious?” Night Pinion frowned and cocked his head. “She seemed perfectly in control to me.”

“I did notice a distinct intensity to her,” Light as a Leaf said, her expression pained.

“Twilight Sparkle was like a daughter to her,” Luna explained, head bowed and heart heavy. “Celestia has faced many losses in her long life, but she pinned far greater hopes on her latest apprentice than any other pony she has ever met. To lose Twilight… I fear there is the desire for revenge within her, and without Starlight Glimmer, Celestia will instead have to focus that fury upon the Guild.”

“Good,” Night Pinion replied. “She’ll be motivated.”

Luna shot him a dark look. “Are you?” At his uncertain expression, she went on. “The griffons have troops on Equestrian soil. How do we know they will go back to Grypha once the dust settles?”

A smile formed around his beak. “And here I thought the subject wouldn’t come up.”

“Celestia is driven by her anger now, so she didn’t notice or care. I am not so distracted.” Luna turned her gaze upon Light as a Leaf. “And you. Given the state of Equestria, I imagine you have it locked in an agricultural stranglehold.”

The doe’s expression was placid and cool. “The Tribes of Green are prepared to assist your kingdom, Princess.”

“But at what cost?” Luna glanced between the two of them, expression firm. “You need my sister and I to keep the world alive, true, but I am less trusting than my sister even when she is not addled by loss. What, then, is the intended conclusion from your nations?”

Night Pinion puffed out his chest, but hadn’t lost his smile. “It is good to know that you are living up to your reputation. To be perfectly honest, I do not know what the Emperor plans to do once – if – the situation is righted. Were I to guess, I’d suppose he’d claim the conquered territories as part of the Grypha Empire in payment for services rendered against your own race.”

Luna grimaced and turned to Light as a Leaf.

“I am only a spy,” the doe said, her voice carefully controlled. “I cannot claim to know the intentions of the Council. However, I have heard rumor that there may be some desire to withhold our agricultural support unless certain agreements are met down the line.”

Tapping her hooves together, Luna considered their responses and Celestia’s plan. Her mind buzzed with possibilities and options. To her chagrin, she could only come upon a single solution. “Equestria has no choice but to utilize your support if we are to complete our search without the Guild stopping us. I suppose we will have to deal with the aftermath when we get there. But be sure to remind your leaders: if this plan works, my sister and I will be back to our full strengths, and there is no defense in the world that will stand in the face of my sister’s wrath should she not be satisfied with the end results. They’d best choose their demands carefully.”

She leveled them both with a cool glare, ensuring with her tone and presence that they understood that this was no idle threat. They cast furtive glances at one another before nodding. “Then I believe we all have work to do. I look forward to our next talk.”

Luna waited until they were gone to sag over the table. She longed for food; at least with that she’d be capable of keeping up her energy. Yet she fought down the hunger pangs and weariness as she had for so long. She could do without; Equestria could not.

She turned her attention to the throne. How long had Starlight Glimmer sat there, dominating all of Equestria with her narcissism as her body grew old and frail? Luna hoped she enjoyed it, for all the suffering she’d caused. Now the time had come for Celestia and Luna to clean up the mess, as they had always done when mortal dreams ran afoul of reality.

Her frown deepened as she recalled the look on Celestia’s face and her ominous... 'presence.' There had been a distinct coldness in her sister, a poisonous rage the likes of which Luna had never seen in her before. She knew Celestia was a strong pony, but her manner sent a chill down Luna’s backside. She knew from experience that every pony’s moral compass had its limitations.

Could the death of Twilight Sparkle have broken Celestia’s?

Luna approached the throne, imagining her dear sister sitting upon it. Would she grace the world with benevolence once more, or hold it within her fiery grasp? Celestia would seek revenge against the Guild, this Luna felt was a certainty. Would she not then move to punish the minotaurs who murdered her beloved protégé? And then the changelings, for daring to bring the Crystal Empire under their dominion, to say nothing for whatever they'd done to Cadance.

And finally, the Council and Grypha, for daring to make demands of Equestria. With every new step in the scenario, Celestia’s image grew more and more ominous. Luna sat before the throne, shivering at the horrible possibilities. Nothing disturbed her more, however, than the absolute certainty that Celestia could do all of it with ease.

Yet Luna had walked that path. She knew its pitfalls and lures. It would be up to her to guide Celestia and keep her from falling as she once had. The burden of such a task was not light, for Luna knew beyond any doubt that she would never be able to stop her sister by force.

It would be a dangerous dance.

She knew the steps, and the stakes.

Luna turned away from the throne, staring out at the empty room. Rays of moonlight streamed across the stone and marble, emphasizing the stark emptiness. The ripped banners of equality, the ugly iron doors, the plain but pristine windows, the cool shadows.

Equestria had always needed Celestia. She'd been its guiding light for centuries. Now that light threatened to become an all-consuming blaze. Though none might realize it in the beginning, Luna now knew it was her turn. If the sun threatened to burn the world, the moon's cool light would calm it. As daunting as it was, this would be Luna's role in the new Equestria.

“This is our kingdom, sister, and I will protect it.

“Even from you.”

A Matter of Perspective: The Secret Weapon

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The Secret Weapon
Prompt: "A Matter of Perspective"
Story Placement: 22/58

León collapsed to the floor tiles, the filing cabinet at last set against the door. Right on time, for he could hear someone setting keys to the lock. He pressed his back to the cabinet and his feet against the opposite wall of the storage closet, heart pounding as the door handle turned. A muffled curse rose through the door when it refused to open.

A haughty female voice rang out. “Oh my, such foul language.”

“Sorry, Rarity, it’s just that he’s usually not like this. León’s a stiff, but he’s not a bad guy.”

They were talking. León could hear the things’ voices, just as described! He covered his face with shaking hands and struggled to think, but the only thoughts that made themselves known were This isn’t happening! and Why didn’t the idiot listen?

Someone banged on the door. “Come on, León, what’s wrong with you? The ponies aren’t dangerous.”

“Yes they are!” León pointed at the air, having nothing better to target. “I told you not to bring them here! Do you have any idea how many protocols you’ve violated?”

“I bring stuff through the portal all the time.”

Authorized items only, Derrick!” The door tried to open again; León braced between the wall and the filing cabinet. “You don’t know what those… those things can do.”

“ ‘Can do?’ ” That voice was new, and full of confusion. “Haven’t you been delivering reports about our abilities, Derrick?”

“Yes,” Derrick grumbled, “and he’s been reading them. Diligently. The jerk loves his reports almost as much as he loves ‘by the book.’ ”

“There’s no need to call him names,” the voice scolded. “He just doesn’t understand. We need to be patient.”

“Yeah… you’re right, of course. Sorry, Princess.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Twilight?”

“As many times as it takes for it to not be mind-bendingly adorable when you correct me, Princess.”

“Oh, you…”

‘Mind bending’ was exactly what had León so horrified. “Derrick, please, don’t you see what they’ve done to you? Get your common sense back and send them home!”

“Hey! What are ya accusin’ me an’ my friends of doin’?”

“Calm down, Applejack.”

“But he’s makin’ us sound like a buncha varmints!”

“You are!” León banged his elbow against the cabinet for the extra attention. “You’re all… uh… ‘varmints.’ Now go home!”

“I dunno, Twilight,” a fourth voice said, “this guy doesn’t seem very friendly. And here I thought humans were all gonna be as awesome as Derrick.”

“Humans are not awesome,” León insisted, grabbing hold of every option his frantic mind could conjure. “Nope, we’re boring as hell, so you might as well go home.”

“Maybe he’s just not in a good mood,” yet another voice said. How many had that idiot brought through? “Like Cranky sometimes is when I come by his place real early. I know, why don’t we take a look around? I bet there are tons more friends to be made than just this León pony.”

“ ‘Person,’ Pinkie,” Derrick corrected. “The word is ‘person.’ ”

“Pony, person, whatever! I’m with Pinkie. Come on, let’s find some other humans to talk to.”

“Right behind ya, Dashie!”

“No!” León jumped to his feet, eyes wide as he turned to reach for the doorknob. He just barely stopped himself. “Derrick, don’t let them go. They’ll spread like a plague!”

“A plague?” Derrick laughed. “What are you expecting, León? You think every person who meets a pony is gonna be walking around with their arms raised and moaning ‘Pooooooonnniiiiiieeeesssss?’ ”

“Do you have any idea how accurate that is on a metaphorical level?” León banged his fists against the top of the filing cabinet with a snarl. “Damn it, Derrick, this is exactly the kind of thing I was hired on to prevent. It’s my job to keep the world and this facility safe from infections and other threats that may appear in the other world, and—”

“Threats? Mr. Villanueva— Did I pronounce that right? Oh, good, I’d hate to be insulting on my first major diplomatic mission as a princess.”

León grasped at the opportunity like a life ring in the open ocean. Princess Twilight was the smart, by-the-book type, right? “Princess, if you really want to keep this from becoming a seriously negative inter-dimensional incident, you will grab your friends and go back where you came from. You’re ruining our due process!”

“Oh, my…” Twilight sounded appropriately worried, and León began to detect the slightest bit of hope. Maybe he could undo the damage before things got out of hand. "I do know how frustrating it can be to have the rules violated, even unintentionally."

“I don’t know, Twilight,” Rarity said. “Princess Celestia asked us to come here, did she not? Surely our human friends won’t mind at least a short visit in the name of amiable relations and not offending the ruler and most powerful individual in our world.”

“Well said, Rarity.”

León wrung his hands and began to hyperventilate. “Derrick, you moron!”

“Alright, this feller’s just bein’ rude,” Applejack griped. “I’m gonna go explore with Pinkie and Rainbow.”

“I think I’ll join you,” Rarity said. “Hopefully the rest of this world’s denizens will be as polite as Derrick.”

“Goddamn it, Derrick, stop them!” This time León’s punch left a dent in the filing cabinet.

“León, they’re not hurting anything.”

León tugged at his hair. “Look at what they did to you!”

“They haven’t done a thing to me.”

“Bull! You don’t like cute things, you like guns and Harleys and half-naked blondes on a spread.” León pointed at the door. “They’ve warped your brain, screwed with your head, turned you into something you’re not!”

Twilight gave an indignant shout. “That’s not true! We haven’t cast a single spell on Derrick.”

“W-well,” a small voice spoke up, “you did cast that cloud-walking spell on him a few visits ago.”

“Not helping, Fluttershy.”

The door handle rattled yet again, and León slammed his shoulder against the filing cabinet. “Come on, León,” Derrick called, “they didn’t do anything to my head. I don’t care how manly you are, there’s no way to not fall in love with these ponies. They’re just so bucking adorable.”

León’s jaw dropped. “D-did you just say ‘bucking?’ ”

“Well, they won’t let me say the real curse words.”

Slapping his hands to his face, León felt his guts twist as he imagined the entire world shifting to such silly, ‘cute’ words. “This is a disaster.”

Derrick sighed. “León, you’re too tense for your own good. Ya gotta relax, take these things as they come. These girls are all about the ‘magic of friendship.’ Maybe if you tried to be nice then you’d see that this is not a bad thing.”

León pressed his back to the wall and dropped to a sitting position, still covering his face as despair swept over him. “How could you do this, Derrick? How could you betray humanity?”

“And I thought Rarity was a drama queen,” Twilight quipped.

“I know, right? You’re too serious, León.”

León said nothing. He just sat there, face in his hands, and rocked. He prayed that someone in the facility would realize what was happening and call the outside world for help, or at least initiate a quarantine. Perhaps that way this… this ‘cute’ infection could be stopped before it went any farther.

“Hey, guys!”

“Oh, hey Rainbow,” Twilight replied. “Did you go through the entire facility already?”

“Uh, duh, fastest flier in Equestria, remember? And now in this world too, I bet. But hey, guess what? There are tons of humans here! And they’re all a lot friendlier than Mr. Closet Case there.”

“Dash, don’t be rude. His name’s Mr. Villanueva.”

León groaned as his hopes were shattered. “Please tell me someone initiated a quarantine.”

Rainbow answered him directly, which only made him feel sick to his stomach. “Some guy in a blue suit did shout about starting this quarantine thingy, but then Pinkie gave him a hug. Last I saw him, he was nuzzling with Rarity and fawning over her mane.” She made a retching sound. “What the heck’s a quarantine, anyway?”

“It’s a method of keeping diseases from spreading,” Twilight said, her tone dull. “Mr. Villanueva, friendship is not a contagion. And don’t try to fool us, Rainbow, we know you got a few nuzzles in there too.”

Derrick chuckled. “Yeah, I bet you even raced Pinkie to see who could get the most cuddles in.”

“D-did not!”

Their laughter was like a poison seeping into the crevices of León’s mind. He slumped against the wall and stared at the ceiling, heart rent in two. The world was doomed, and all because one explorer couldn’t hold on to his masculinity. He began looking around; maybe he could find a weapon of some kind and take his own life before his identity became another victim of this multicolored terror.

He could just make out Fluttershy’s whisper through the overworked nerve network of his fatigued brain. “S-so, um… Rainbow? The other humans, they're… nice, right? L-like Derrick?”

“Oh yeah, totally. Plenty of ear-scratches to go around.” Rainbow went silent for a couple seconds, then moaned. “So goooood…”

Derrick chuckled.

Fluttershy abruptly sounded far more chipper. “Oh, that’s good. Then I think I’ll go and say hello to our new—”

Wait!”

León looked up at the silence that followed Rainbow’s outburst, his peering gaze set on the door.

Rainbow used a ridiculously loud whisper. “Twilight, secret weapon.”

“Secret weapon? Rainbow, what are you… oooooh.”

Fluttershy’s squeak was barely audible through the wood. “W-why are you all looking at me l-like that?”

The handle rattled, and León crouched as if he might attack despite the filing cabinet keeping the door firmly closed. “Last chance, León,” Derrick said. “Let us in or we’ll have to unleash the big guns.”

“Not a chance in hell!” León pressed his back to the cabinet yet again and crossed his arms. “I’d rather die than let them brainwash me with their… whatever.”

“Alright, you asked for it. Come on, Fluttershy.”

Another squeak through the door. “Derrick, w-what are you doing?”

“Up here.” A loud clang followed the sound of Twilight’s voice. “You can get in this way.”

León’s eyes widened.

“Me? Oh, no no no!”

“Come on, Fluttershy!” Rainbow cheered. “You’re, like, the epitome of adorableness.”

“Nice word choice, Rainbow.”

“Not now, egghead! Fluttershy, I bet if we took your blood sample and looked under one of those microscopes we’d see a bunch of baby bunnies and kittens. Tell her, Derrick.”

“It’s true,” Derrick said. “I mean, you’re all cute, but you are like a 100-proof Cute-brand whiskey.”

“I have no idea what that means. D-do I have to go?”

“No!” León shook his head frantically, despite there being nobody there to see it. “No, you don’t, and you really don’t wanna, ‘cause I… uh… I eat ponies! Y-yeah, and I’m super mean to boot, a real kitten-kicking bastard!”

“O-oh my, how could you do such a thing?”

Derrick laughed, the sound sending a fresh chill down León’s spine. “Nice try, but I know you’ve got four cats back home. Stop trying to scare her with lies.”

“Four cats? That’s wonderful!”

If León ever saw Leopold, Long Nine, Otto and Santa Anna again, he’d give each of them a good punt. He could hear banging in the walls along the corner of the room, and promptly climbed back to his feet. “What are you doing? Whatever it is, you better stop it right now, y-you hear me?” Turning a circle revealed nothing he might use for self defense; just more filing cabinets. Heart pounding, he tried to open one, only to find it locked. “I’m armed! I’ll… I’ll shoot you!”

Derrick’s tone was dull. “Bullshit, there are no weapons in there.”

“Hey!”

“Sorry, Rainbow.”

“Don’t let me hear you say that ag… Ooooh, yeah, that’s the spot.”

León tore at the filing cabinets, but not a single one opened. “Oh please no, oh please no…”

A weird tinkling sound caressed his ear, followed by a zap and something falling to the floor. León jerked towards the sound, his back pressed to the wall and his heart trying to crack his ribcage. Though his eyes darted around the room, he could see nothing.

“He looks so scared.”

León’s eyes rose to the voice, now clear and unimpeded, and his breath caught in his throat. There, crouched in the vent that had apparently been knocked open, was this small, purple… thing with huge, unnatural violet eyes, multi-colored hair and a horn sticking from its head. Its visage filled him with terror, not in that it was ugly, but that it was – and he felt a piece of his soul die at the thought – cute.

The creature stared at him, and he stared right back. It tilted its head quizzically. It smiled, displaying two rows of horribly perfect teeth.

Then it disappeared back into the vent.

León’s legs gave out and he fell to the floor, sitting against the wall and sucking in sharp gasps. His most primitive mental defense was to think of this as some kind of colorful nightmare, but by God, he’d seen it. They were really here, and everything was far too lucid for this to be a dream. He curled into a ball and sobbed as full, total understanding of his doom at last fell upon him.

“Oh my goodness, he really does look scared!” This new voice, softer than the last, made him look up… and what he saw took his breath away. It was so sickeningly adorable with its pink mane and big, hopeful eyes that he wondered if his own weren’t bleeding from the sheer mental impact.

The creature crawled out of the vent and opened tiny yellow wings far too small to support its weight, yet that’s precisely what they did. León’s mind fractured in its attempt to reconcile this blatant defiance of physics; reading about it in Derrick’s reports were nothing in comparison to the real thing.

The creature, some kind of cartoonish monstrosity that somewhat resembled a pony, floated to the floor and landed on four hooves. It was then that León realized just how incredibly small it was; even with its head up, it wouldn’t have reached his waist. The brightly colored thing he assumed was called Fluttershy approached, flashing a smile so brilliant it threatened to turn his heart into warm goo.

“N-no… don’t come any c-closer.” León covered his face beneath his arms and trembled, not daring to look at the monstrosity any more. “Please, I d-don’t wanna be your friend.”

“It’s okay,” Fluttershy cooed, her voice as soft as downy feathers on his ear. “There there, we’re not going to hurt you. I promise.”

“Y-you lie.” He squeezed into the corner of the room, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I w-won’t be me anymore.” Her hooves clopped against the tiles, slow and careful and growing ever louder. León gritted his teeth and kept his arms wrapped tight around his face, determined not to risk even the smallest glance. “Keep away. You’re not cute, I don’t like l-like you, I don’t w-wanna be your friend.”

“I don’t think that’s true at all. Everypony wants friends.”

“I’m not a p-pony.”

“Every… person?”

“Everyone,” Derrick called helpfully through the door.

“Oh, thank you; everyone wants friends.”

“Not me!” León shook his head beneath the tight confines of his arms. “I’m mean. I… I hate friendship! I’m human, and y-you can’t take that away from me.”

“Well of course I can’t, silly.” Fluttershy giggled; it was the audio equivalent of a million puppies gazing up from beneath the dining room table or an army of kittens tangled in twine. It sucked the air out of León’s lungs and threaten to shatter his fragile grasp of common sense.

Something touched his arm and, before he knew it, León had hurtled himself to his feet and let out as vicious a snarl as ever he’d known. “Get away from me, you monster!”

What happened next was beyond León’s mental capacity for resistance: Fluttershy retreated as if stung, her rump smacking the opposite wall as she dropped to the floor and began trembling like a leaf. Tears threatened to burst from her big cyan eyes, and before long that threat became a reality as she buried her face beneath dainty hooves and quietly wept.

León stood there, numbed to silence at the sight before him. It tugged viciously at his heart, violently pierced his eyes and clutched at his brain like razor-sharp talons. He wanted to look away, he demanded of himself that he do so.

But… it was so…

“Hey!” A familiar voice wormed its way through the fog of his brain. “Is she crying? What did that bucker do to Fluttershy?”

“Hold on, Rainbow.”

“But—”

“Just wait.”

No, don’t wait. León silently pleaded for them not to wait. Rush in, hit him on the head, knock him out, kill him if necessary, so long as he didn’t succumb to the treasonous weakness in his heart! Every fiber of his being begged him to give in to the noose gradually tightening about his brain stem and force-feeding feelings of empathy to his cerebral cortex. His left brain, screaming in defiance and fighting its oppressor tooth and nail, steadily collapsed under the pressure as his right brain gorged on yummy, butterfly-shaped steroids and threw all its superpowered energy into action.

He hated it, her quiet weeping. All he did was shout! The stupid creature needed more of a backbone.

He hated it, her quiet weeping. He shouldn’t have shouted. All she’d done was try to make a new friend.

“P-please,” he whispered, straining against his own body as it took a step closer. “K-kill me.”

Another step.

Fluttershy’s sobbing pierced his ears.

“I d-don’t… want to…”

Closer. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the purple one watching from the vent.

“Y-you evil, adorable… No…”

“It’s okay, León,” Derrick whispered through the door. “You don’t have to fight it.”

One more step, and he was standing over her.

“I’m me. I’m me. I’m me.”

He lost his footing and fell to his knees. His arms shaking, he reached for the colorful creature.

“H-help… me…”

His hand touched the pony’s mane. Her head jerked up, eyes wide and cheeks moist.

León’s heart froze.

A second.

Two.

Three.

He stroked her neck. Her mane was so soft.

Fluttershy rubbed her eyes and offered a weak smile. “I-it’s okay. You just startled me, th-that’s all.” She tilted her head as he began to scratch behind her ear. Something almost like a purr rose from her throat.

Oh God, that smile!

She reared up to press her hooves to his chest. Her adorable eyes filled León’s vision.

“W-will you… be my friend?”

A smile reached León’s lips. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers, a wave of unparalleled contentment rising within him.

“I would love to.”

Look, I Can Explain...: Banned for a Reason

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Banned for a Reason
Prompt: "Look, I Can Explain..."
Story Placement: 8/48

“Never trust the pony who shows his teeth when he smiles.”

Starswirl took his grandsire’s advice to heart and immediately began a survey of his tower laboratory. The windows weren't melting. The glass case of potions remained closed and sealed. In the corner stood the decanter with the griffon chancellor’s arthritic remedy, where it had been setting to the right consistency for over a month. Beakers and vials and droppers remained organized and unbroken atop laboratory tables that had not been overturned. The scroll bank taking up half the east wall remained perfectly in place, with not a single roll of paper scattered. His desk in the back-center of the room sat as always, untouched and certainly not on fire.

To the ceiling. The silver chandelier with its experimental never-melting candles shined as brightly as ever. Anti-fire runes on the cross timbers remained dim and uninteresting.

To the floor. It remained clean and unmarked, save for the circle of runes that were just beginning to dim.

And between them and him, a six-year-old blue unicorn smiled up at him with far too many teeth showing.

“Good evening, Mr. Starswirl!”

He sucked in a deep breath, stepped into the room and closed the door. “Hello, Little Luna. I believe your mother instructed you and your sister not to come to my laboratory anymore.”

Her grin broadened, something he’d not considered possible. Though her shoulders were square and her forelegs firm, her hind legs shifted in a little dance. If that wasn’t enough of a giveaway, she had a lock of mane hiding one of those slightly too big eyes.

“S-sister? What sister? There’s no sister here!”

“So I see.” He walked past her, using his magic both to lift a random potion from a table and subtly set the lock on the door. “Then I guess you’re the only one who will be getting into trouble?”

A gasp escaped the little princess. “But I didn’t do anything!”

He eyed the potion as if it were important, then set it back down. “Oh, really?” He peered at his lab equipment one at a time, pretending to seek out breaks or other clues of misconduct. “Then why are you here?”

Not a chip in her overgrown smile. The hind hooves kept up their dance, but… no escalation. Not the lab equipment, then.

“I was just… umm…” Her eyes went cross. She flicked the lock aside only for it to fall right back over her eye.

Starswirl sniffed the air. His reward came twofold, starting with the familiar acrid scent and quickly followed by her lowering ears.

“Is that magic in my nostrils?”

“M-magic?” She put on a show of smelling the air, head leaning so far back he thought her horn would touch her withers. “I don’t smell anything. Nope, no magic in the air.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” He leaned down and let his beard brush the ground, shaking his chin so the mass of hair waved back and forth. “If I kick the dust up like so, I can get a much better scent. Now, let’s see—”

His beard rose from the ground in a blue aura, the sound barely concealing her little squeak.

“No acrid magic-y smells, oh no, you don’t have to use your beard!” Whatever music guided Luna’s hind legs had kicked into a higher tempo. It seemed her forehooves wanted to join in.

Starswirl smiled down at her and tugged his head back. “Please don’t grab that. Last time you used your magic on my beard, I spent a week getting the bows out.”

The dance stopped even as her smile faded to a pout. “I thought they looked good on you.”

“I looked wonderful,” he said, patting her head. “But I’m rather fond of my beard as it is, thank you. Perhaps when you’re older I can teach you a hex to give your father a big, curly moustache. Then you can give him all the bows you desire.”

She blinked and cocked her head. Her smile came back – no teeth this time – and she broke into giggles.

He turned away with a chuckle and made for his desk. “Just promise to choose a better color. Green looked okay on me, but I think your father would appreciate a nice, bright pink.”

Luna’s giggles shifted to laughter. It was a playful, sweet sound. One of his favorites. As he ran his eyes over the items atop his desk and found nothing amiss, he almost felt guilty that he would be taking that laughter away soon.

A glance back. She was watching him. Still with that genuine smile.

Not the desk.

“You know, my little pony, you really shouldn’t be in here.” He walked to the decanter in the corner. Tapping the glass, he added, “Your father was very specific. ‘Luna and Celestia are not allowed in the laboratory.’ ”

Luna let out a long, drawn out “Awww…” She kicked at the floor with her head hanging low. “It just wanted to make a rainbow pony.”

“You may have succeeded. Lieutenant Last Dash still hasn’t lost all those colors in his mane and tail.”

Her eyes lit up and she gave a little bounce. “That was three months ago! I must be good with potions, huh?”

Nope, not the decanter. A good thing; he’d hate to have to tell the griffon chancellor to wait another month-and-a-half for his remedy.

Starswirl stepped onto one of the runes, brushing his hoof against it. “You may be good with potions, Luna, but you still must learn in a proper setting, and with a teacher.”

She followed him at a trot. “But you are my teacher.” She giggled and hopped onto the back of his robes, riding them across the floor as he moved.

Curse him, he couldn’t resist smiling. He increased his pace to a canter and dragged her about the room, walking directly over the runes. She squealed and clapped her hooves.

“But this isn’t the proper setting.”

“But it has all the magic stuffs we use during tutoring hours! Why can’t I use them here too?”

He paused, scuffing one of the runes again. “Were these glowing when I walked in?”

“Huh? Were they—nope!” She kicked off his robes and galloped in front of him, blocking his view of the rune he’d been observing. “No glowing at all, not here! I paid good attention.”

“Oh, really?” He asked with a smirk before leaning close to her. “And why would you be paying such close attention to my runes, hmm?”

The dancing curse descended upon her again, along with that toothy grin. Oh, the way her eyes sparkled! “I j-just… eh-heh… like runes.”

“Then you should ask your mother about them. That is her special talent, after all.” He stood up and looked away. Out the corner of his eye, he saw her sag and release a deep breath. She snapped to attention – toothy smile and all – when he looked back to her.

“Where is that sister of yours, hmm?”

“Tia? She’s…” Luna turned her head away, eyes shifting to the east wall. Her smile became even more strained as she spoke in a sing-song tone, “No~where.”

He chuckled; children always thought themselves so sly. He looked to the windows.

Luna relaxed.

His eyes went to the silver chandelier.

She reached up to bat as his beard.

He turned for the scroll bank.

Her hooves resumed their dance.

Lips curling into a smug smile, Starswirl took a few steps. The filly darted forward to block his path, toothy grin back in full spread. “S-so, you want to go for a walk? You promised to show me that floating spell. I wanna walk on the lake!”

Gotcha.

“Perhaps another time.” He stepped around her and began to examine his scrolls.

“Oh, o-okay… um…” Luna giggled, her eyes dancing about as if in search of something. “I can help you with your latest experiment! Please? I-I can show Mommy and Daddy that I’m mature enough to be here.”

“Your father said no,” he reminded her, checking each scroll slot one at a time. Nothing amiss so far. “Would you have me disobey the king?”

He barely managed to hide another smirk at her whimper.

Whump.

He turned to find the filly hanging by the edge of the counter, her hind legs kicking frantically. For a moment, he could only watch with barely controlled amusement as she strained to pick herself up over the edge, her cheeks puffed and red with effort. The little metal horseshoes on her hind legs cut scratches into the polished wood, but he was too busy trying not to burst out laughing to even care.

At last he had mercy on the poor foal, using his magic to catch her short blue tail and lift her into the air. She landed gently on the counter, chin first and with her rump high, a grouchy frown adorning her features. The pink in her cheeks deepened when he failed to stifle a chuckle.

Starswirl turned back to the scrolls. Immediately, his gaze fell upon an empty slot.

Luna practically leaped in his way, her legs spread wide. “O-okay, I’ll confess!”

A bushy eyebrow rose. Starswirl took a step back. “Will you, now? And what, pray tell, are you confessing to, Little Luna?”

She stuttered and rubbed her hooves together. The single lock of mane fell over her eyes again. He waited patiently, wondering how deep a hole she would dig.

“Fizz bombers.” She blinked, then brightened. “Yeah. Yeah, fizz bombers! I w-wanted to get some of those, and the bigger fireworks too. I really like your fireworks, Mr. Starswirl, I just couldn’t wait until the winter festival to see them again. So I… I came here. B-because, you know, I thought you kept them here.”

“I see.” He leaned forward and turned his head to give her a one-eyed stare. “You intended to steal the fireworks? The ones that I work tirelessly on, which I craft with tender and loving care, just for your own amusement?”

She shrank, ears splaying back, and nodded. “I’m sorry? I-I know stealing is wrong. I just… Please don’t tell Daddy?”

His smirk returned. He stood up straight and nodded, the bells of his hat jingling. “I won’t tell him or your mother.”

Her smile returned, no teeth. “Really?”

“Really.” His leg came up to brush her aside, revealing the empty scroll box. “Because that’s not why you’re here.”

“Yes it is!” She tried to push past his leg, her eyes turning to saucers once more. “I-I was a bad filly, we should go see Daddy!”

His horn lit up, pinning her tail to the counter. “Let’s see what Celestia has you covering her for, hmm?”

“No, let’s not!” She clamped both hooves over her muzzle for a brief second. “I-I mean, Celestia? Who’s Celestia?”

He looked to the empty slot. His smile faded as he read the label above it:

Time Travel

Experimental

FOOM

He turned just in time for a blue cloud to erupt in the middle of the room, spreading out to cover everything and blind him. Luna shrieked and he cast a shield spell in an instant.

Silence.

Coughing.

A few seconds passed before the cloud of blue particles faded. When they did, Starswirl took stock of his surroundings. Everything was blue.

The windows had melted.

The glass case of potions had shattered, cracked bottles and crushed stoppers lying about the floor.

The decanter with the griffon chancellor’s remedy lay sideways on its pedestal, liquid pouring onto the stones.

Laboratory tables were overturned. Beakers, vials and droppers were scattered all over the place, many of them shattered.

His desk was on fire.

The never-melting candles in the chandelier had melted.

The runes on the floor glowed brightly, humming with captured energy.

The scroll bank sat mostly empty, papers still floating through the air. A large circle on cleanliness surrounded the little blue filly on the cabinet. She had her hooves over her face and her rump high in the air as she cried, "I'm sorry, Tia! I tried really hard, I p-promise! Don't summon the boogiepony under my bed!"

And there, in the middle of the circle of runes, stood a gangly teenage unicorn, her body as blue-coated as everything else. Her eyes opened and immediately set upon Starswirl. After a few seconds of dumbfounded stares – and copious sobbing from the counter – she offered a grin.

With lots of teeth.

“I can explain?”

The anti-fire runes kicked on, spraying the lot of them in rainwater.