Everyone is transforming, but no one has any idea why. It seems like that isn't going to change anytime soon either.
Everyone is familiar with the "waking up as a pony, live a better life" trope, but no one expected this particular trope to occur in reality in a flip-side version. Is it possible to love and tolerate on an asinine black hole such as earth, or not? (Credits to Samaru163 for the art)
(This is a re-write of my 2012 fanfic of the same name. If you wish to read the original, click on my author page. And just a heads up: There will be some sexy scenes in this story. It doesn't warrant the classification of a clopfic since it isn't the main focus, but there will be clop.. only a minuscule amount.)
“-Alright I'm up!” I moaned while opening my eyes. Man oh man, nothing like waking up to a man screaming at you. The alarm is an excerpt from the The lonely island’s “I'm on a boat”. I have no idea why I put the most obnoxious part of the song as my alarm, but oh well.
As I reached out to shut off my angry phone, I realized my fingers never extended out as my hand felt numb... or for a better word, calloused.
“Why can’t I feel my fingers?” I thought. I tried to perform a few basic finger exercises only to no avail. Eh, oh well. Next time I need to sleep with my hands outside of my pants.
“GET THE-”
“Alright!” I squeaked (even though attempted to growl). Wait, squeak? I haven't squeaked since I was circumcised!
Okayyyy, I can't feel my fingers and I squeaked. This morning is already weirder than my weirdest day ever, which is too embarrassing to even talk about.
I need to get up...
I tried to wiggle myself out of the covers but found myself floundering with the basic activity, mainly because the bed spread carried a heavier weight than usual. That's strange... usually I would be able to pull it off like it's nothing. Have I lost weight? I mean I know I haven't exercised in awhile, but my muscles couldn’t have atrophy that dramatically. It couldn't have!
I sighed and rolled off the bed, letting my cover naturally slide off. Maybe everything is so trippy because I'm in a very critical dormant state?
Or maybe your bud was spiked. Chill out, brain. Funny because I didn't even smoke yesterday.
Without watching my step, I took a step forward and fell flat on my ass. Okay, why did it feel like standing on two feet was as hard as standing on one foot?
I used my bed to support myself off the floor, holding on to it until I found coordination in my foot movements. While I was struggling to stand, a striking observation came about out of nowhere: Everything was tremendously bigger. First of all, I was noticeably closer to the floor than usual and my head barley reached above my bed. I was pretty tall at 5’10 so everything in my room usually looked normal or small, but now it looks like I'm in a beanstalk version of my room! While I was pondering the sudden growth of the inanimate objects in my room, my alarm clock finally snoozed.
Thank God. I didn't think I would be able to shut it up right now.
“Wait a sec, today is Saturday!“ I exclaimed in a higher scaled voice.
Wait a second, there it goes again! Why does my voice sound like that? It sounds so... soft and feminine. It's like a typical American's girl voice without the gratuitous cuteness. That's weird, usually I sound like Violet J from the ICP, so I guess you can call it an upgrade but a downgrade at the same time. My voice went from white trash to white trash with flowers on it...
“What the hell is going on...” I muttered while extending my arms out to get a glance at my hands. My eyes cracked open as I was greeted by the sight of hooves in place of my humanoid appendages. Hooves... yellow hooves to be exact. Last time I checked, hooves were apart of equine anatomy not human anatomy... equine anatomy! Not only that but they look brighter and less detailed than a regular horse's, almost as if it was from a cartoon.
“I'm in one of those crazy ass dreams again, aren't I? ” I asked monotonously, keeping my sight fixed on 'my' hooves. I stared at it for a couple for seconds, anticipating it to change into something more bizarre. Why would I anticipate that for? Well, funny thing is I had a dream like that one time where I turned into a blue glob, then turned into a blue cat man with yellow eyes, then turned into a blue dog with blue dots, then turned into a blue furry monster who had a fetish for cookies! Basically, this is not the first time I had one of these transformation dreams.
But...this dream seems to be different. The hoof still didn't change in appearance yet. Um... maybe I need to look into a mirror for it to change? Matter of fact, why don't I just go to the mirror and see what I look like? I need to be entertained before I come back to senses.
I dropped down from my bi-pedal stance and transitioned into a quadruple one. Since I have hooves, I figured walking on all fours would be a necessity. Before I even took a full, step an odd sensation shot through my legs and caused them to buckle.
I gritted my teeth. I wasn't ready... yet. I got back up on all fours, feeling my legs shake once again as if they were on the verge of collapsing any second. I eventually controlled myself and got my four legs to stay still. “Baby steps...” I mumbled while literally taking baby steps and dragging my 'hooves' across the floor. So far pretending I was crawling worked, even though I felt my movements weren't as glib as I imagined. I frowned as the constant clip copping of my 'hooves' traveled into my ears. Luckily I have a dresser with a mirror on the opposite side of my bed...
When I made it to my dresser I ran into another difficulty: Getting on top of it. Looks like I'm going have to climb it...
I primed myself, placing my yellow animated forelegs on the surface of my dresser while pulling myself up. When I fully got on top, I looked straight at my reflection and-
“Wow...” I cooed in astonishment. What was in the mirror was a yellow pony who rocked a golden mane with orange highlights in it. The mane style was similar to Roseluck's, although it was slightly puffier and two curls ran down in the front. She had green pupils and long eyelashes that looked like they were cut/pasted straight from one of the mane six. She also looked about 3-4 inches shorter than an average pony in the show, closer to a filly/colt's height. I'm not sure how aging works in Equestria, but if that's supposed to be 'me', I know for a fact sixteen year olds aren't supposed to look like that.
And... I know males aren't supposed to look like that. This pony has a female voice, feminine eyelashes, a round muzzle, and a curvy frame. That's how the female ponies in the show were depicted...
Wait, am I supposed to be a mare in this dream? Hahaha, funny. I'm guessing I'm supposed to have female anatomy as well, huh? Wait, do I?
I took a deep breath, feeling my curiosity peak. I looked at my chest to check for any new mound- oh wait, ponies don't have boobs. Looks like I'm gonna have to go 'low.' I bent over and slid my hoof in between my legs, feeling something warm, flat, and slippery. I shivered. I also felt two soft things in between, but they weren't what I expected.
Oh shit, I forgot female ponies got titties!
I gasped and put a hoof over my mouth, which the figure in the mirror mimicked with perfection. “What... the... fuck...” I trailed off. I never been gender swapped in a dream before... what the hell cajoled my consciousness to dream about this crap!?
Alright, this is getting weirder and weirder. First I became a pony, something I never thought of being in my life, then I became female, something I also never thought about being. These two dream elements are completely arbitrary if I do say so myself. I'm trying to be calm right now, I really am... but this is... I don't even know. The scary thing is I'm completely aware about this...
I paused after I realized what I just said. Dreams are completely random and make no sense, so if I'm dreaming about this I would've acted like this is totally normal, like I've been doing it my whole life!
Okay, let me step outside of the skeptic house for a second and act as if this is reality. What if I'm not dreaming? What if I'm really a pony now? That would make everything more... difficult to bare with?
Alright, I'm ignoring the possibility of this being reality and just gonna assume it's a lucid dream.
Yeah... a dream! A very realistic dream! Me lucid dreaming is the only tangible piece of evidence that can explain why I'm a pony!
"Alright dream, you had your fun. But, I wanna wake up now." I muttered.
Silence.
"I saiddddddd I wanna wake up now!" I repeated, my ears ringing from how whiny my voice sounded.
Once again, nothing happened. I was still in front of the mirror looking at nothing... I mean me.
My heart pummeled as I forced my hoof in front of my eyes, scrutinizing the bright colors and lack of texture. Okay, I'm starting to get scared now! Why the fuck haven't I woke up yet?!
Okay, since my dream is being a Starbuck, a.k.a. a chronic masturbator who has atleast 553 children, I guess I gotta be forceful!
I approached my reflection and lined up my hind-legs to jump. If this dream wants to trap me in here like I'm in prison, I guess I gotta 'break out. “Bye bye...” I said while waving a hoof deviously, my voice sounding awfully cynical and sexy.
Wait, I just found attraction to myvoice!
Oh hell no! Time to die, little red riding mare-hood!
Wait a second! I think you're being a little too complacent right now. Did you ever consider the possibility of this being reality?
Did you ever considered the possibility of Tupac being alive?
No.
I then became suicidal and jumped straight at the mirror.
*SHATTER*
Jesus Christ that hurts! Are dreams supposed to hurt like that? ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
My eyes involuntary shot open as my senses came back to me. The first thing I saw was a white plastered ceiling. Huh, am I in bed? I kicked legs out slightly, only to touch the familiar bed spread of my room. Yup, I'm in bed, which means what happened 'earlier' really was a dream! Thank God... I thought that was real for a second. I'm not going to sleep for awhile after that dilemma.
I slowly picked up my head, moaning in agony as I did so. Ugh... looks like I'm going to have one of those days where I wake up with a headache. If I recall correctly, in my dream I jumped into a mirror and felt the pain. I'm guessing pain from dreams really does carry over to reality...
It's obvious. If you saw Inception you would know.
I couldn't watch that... too many layers!
I turned my head around and saw two human figures staring at me with abashed expressions. One of them was a fourteen year old blond haired girl who sat on the edge of the bed, the other was a nineteen year old boy (man?) who had a slight mustache/goatee combo and was positioned right next to the girl.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually glad to see Dante and Katie in my room for once! Usually when they're in the room shit's about to get cracking, so this is a refreshing change!
Okay, maybe shit is about to get cracking but it doesn't matter! I wonder why they're looking at me like I'm a terrorist though.
“Hey guys!” I chirped.
Why does my voice sound so high though? Maybe it's because I'm excited?
“Oh my god it talks...” A gruff voice that belonged to no one other then Dante muttered.
It?
“What are you talking about, Dante?” The same high voice came out.
I quickly covered my mouth, a familiar tingling creeping in my cheeks. That sounds like the voice from my dream! Am I still dreaming or-
My thoughts diffused the moment my peripheral vision picked up two vividly colored hard edges in place of my hands. Aren't my fingers supposed to be ther-
My breath caught in my throat. Oh crap, it wasn't a dream
My ears involuntarily pinned back as I opened my mouth to take a huge deep breath.
“How do you know my nam-”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I screamed to the top of my lungs. Well, at least I didn't shriek.
“Hey calm down!” my sister yelled while putting a hand over my mouth, muffling my screams.
“Mfueifwpddwpwnoeepnnfeepwnqo!” I babbled while wailing my 'hooves' in the air frantically, accidently slapping her in the face. She frowned and retorted by wrapping her left arm around my trembling hooves, trapping them to the side of my body so I couldn't wild out anymore. Yup, her arm is literlly longer than both of my hooves combined!
“Jesus! Say it don't spray it!”
My vision started to blur as tears welled up in my eyes. Oh great, now I'm crying! Another indication that my 'dream' is real! I never cry! That is such a soft thing to do and ponies in the show are generally associated with softness!
I started to hyperventilate and shake at the same time. She prodded me in the chest in hopes of getting me to stop shaking. It worked to an extent, but I continued babbling incoherent nonsense. She sighed. “If I release my hand from your mouth, will you tell me what happened in the English language?”
I quelled my babbling purist, slowly jerking my head up and down.
“It cries too?!” Dante exclaimed.
“Shut up, Dante!” Katie shouted. She then turned back to me and smiled lightly, releasing her grip from my mouth. “Now... how do you know our names again and why were you laid out in the middle of our brother's floor?”
I blinked back the running tears from my eyes. Oh, so she didn't know it's me! I had a feeling. “Katie, it's me Shawn! I woke up like this in the morning for some reason and thought I was dreaming so I wanted to end it as soon as possible by jumping into the mirror but little did I know the whole thing was r-real and n-now I'm a h-h-” I couldn't finish my sentence and hunched over, breaking into a violent fit of sobbing.
A pregnant silence filled the room. Numerous thoughts were probably racing through their heads and I'm pretty sure most of it was disbelief, but it's also probably shock from the underlying truth in the lurid confession.
I felt my body gravitate towards my sister as she pulled me into a warm hug. “Oh my god, Shawn. I'm so sorry. Don't worry about it it will be okay... you have us. ”
Although her tone was re-assuring, it still couldn't atone for all the conflict I was faced with because deep down I know it was not going to be okay. I have been turned into something that will possibly plague me my entire life, I have lost something that made me who I am: My humanity. My humanity was the foundation of my life, and now I'm gonna have to learn live without it!
It's gonna be hard trying to play basketball without hands. It's going to be hard trying to play video games without hands. It's gonna be hard to text without hands. Hell, it's gonna be hard to tie my shoes, put food in my mouth, or even tie my damn shoes without hands! Not only did most of my enjoyment emanate from the use of hands, but basic life functions as well!
Did you just go on a tirade about hands?
Yup. Now you know how strong I feel about this.
It's funny, I never thought of hands like that before. I guess when you lose something you start to cherish it more.
I sniffed, finally deciding to reply to Katie. “No it won't! I-I'm a f-freak n-now...” I stammered, sounding like a certain timid yellow Pegasus right now.
I quickly pulled out the embrace and glared at him.“W-What do you m-mean?”
“Dude, have you checked your- I mean have you heard your voice?”
I raised an eyebrow. His response leaves a lot to be desired... but I can't be female, I can't! It's impossible to change genders! Yeah, I might have a high-pitched voice right now but that doesn't necessarily mean-
Wait a second, the pony in the 'dream' did have a feminine facial structure now that I think about it.
I took a deep breath, curled my lips in discomfort, and slid my hooves under my cover, feeling for a certain something. My ears drooped. He's right.
"Congratulations, It's a goddamn girl!"
Darkness clouded my eyes as my head dropped back on the pillow.
…........................................................................................................................................................ “How deep is your love! How deep is your love! How deep is your- ah fuck it. Dante, just pour water on him.”
“Okey dokey.”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhieee!” I shrieked after feeling cold water impact my entire body. What the shit?! I turned my head around to see my brother holding an empty cup over my head while smiling mischievously. Did he just pour water on me?
I think he did, bro.
“Rise and Shine, sunshine,” he said.
“W-What the h-hell is w-wrong with y-you, ddddd-dickhead?!” I stammered, shivering like a little kid who had their first sugar rush.
He calmly spread his hands in front of him. “Hey, watch your mouth. It was Katie's idea not mine.” I turned around to glare at Katie, who simpered while waving at me nervously. “Besides, no one is gonna wait another hour for you to wake up.”
I squinted my eyes in bemusement. An hour? What does he mean an hour? Did I pass out again-
You can forward inquiries later. The main thing you should do is get up out the bed before the water penetrates your body.
I sighed and rolled off the bed. For some reason I mounted on all fours like it was second nature. I don't know, maybe my fear of busting my ass again is working as a stimulus?
I glanced at my four legs in awe before turning to look at my brother. “Uh, how did you guys find out about me again?”
Dante grimaced. “Well, it's a funny story. I was sleeping peacefully until Katie came rushing downstairs telling me about how she found an alien pony on the floor. I told her she's bluffing, so she took me upstairs in my ro-I mean your room and found you on the floor with glass and blood spread everywhere. I thought you were just a typical dead rodent so I was about to throw you in the garbage, but then Katie took your pulse and found out you were alive. I was like oh shit it's really-”
“-Stop!” I broke in. “Are you trying to tell me you were about to throw me in the garbage?”
“Hell yeah! What you thought this was? Is their a sign on the house that says 'dead animal storage?'”
My right eye twitched at the mention of 'animal'. I am definitely not an animal!
Technically you are.
“Anyways,” he started again, “after that we tucked you in bed, we waited for you to wake up, and when you did, boyyyy did you freak out! So here we are again.”
Oh, it's all starting to come back to me now....
“Ugh, this is too much to take in,” I uttered, my voice as soft as a sound produced from the flute. At least my voice is soothing on the ears.
“Are you gonna pass out again? Because we have plenty of water here,” Katie said.
“No I'm not gonna pass out again!” I snapped.
“Well well... someone's salty,” my brother said in a sardonic tone.
I turned towards him and lifted my hand up to flip him off.
His eyes darted from my lower body to top, almost if he was scanning me with an electronic. “Why do you want a hi-five for?”
Oh crap, I forgot I got hooves now!
“I don't want a hi-five, derelict! I was trying to flip you the bird...” I muttered.
“Oh. Haha, sucks for you!” he said while sticking the middle finger up.
My left eye twitched in annoyance. “Eat a frank.”
“Haha! But yeah, why the hell would you jump into a mirror for? Failed suicide attempt?”
I wish it wasn't...
I shook my head. “No. I thought I was having a lucid dream, a very palpable lucid dream. I wasn't waking up, so I kinda got... afraid and jumped into the mirror.”
He scowled. “That sounds retarded.”
“Hey, don't judge me, alright?”
“Common sense would tell you that the moment you figure out you were lucid dreaming you wake up! But you couldn't wake up because you were already up, dipshit!”
“W-why do you even care?”
“I care because thanks to your reckless stupidity I had to wake up in the morning and clean up the bloody floor!”
“Leave him alone, Dante! He was scared!” Katie chided, quickly coming to my defense. "You would do the same thing, don't even lie!"
Scared... I hate that word. But it's true..
He huffed. “Whatever.”
The room just drifted into silence after that encounter. I didn't know what to talk about, and truthfully, I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to sit alone and think about my life. Like, I feel like I hit a dead end and there's no turning back. I can't cry about it no more because I already did, and I can't pass out about it because I already did. I guess I'm just... empty.
“How did you even become a horse, Shawn?” Dante asked out of nowhere, discombobulating my thoughts.
“Pony,” I corrected while rolling my eyes. “And I don't know. Didn't I already tell you that? You think asking me a question again will change the final answer?”
“Chili out! I forgot, bro, or should I say 'sis'?”
“Don't joke like that,” I hissed.
“I wasn't joking, it's a serious question.”
I raised an eyebrow. I passed out when he reminded me about my sex change too... so why the hell would he try to call me that anyway?
Okay, now that irks me to an extent.
“You saw me pass out when you told me I'm a girl, right?” He nodded. “Then what do you think you should call me? The gender that makes me pass out? Don't be stupid! Just because 'brother' is a misnomer doesn't mean you have to restrain from using it!”
His eyes dilated in surprise.
Don’t worry bro, karma is a beach. You will soon have two sisters.
Don't joke like that either, brain. Wishing away a man's manhood is worse than wishing away their woman.
“And furthermore, I still thin-” my sentence plunged as I noticed Katie eyes were glued to the left side of my butt, or should I say flank. “Umm... my eyes are up here.”
“You have a blank flank,” she responded roboticly, her inquisitiveness not draining in the slightest.
“What?!” Dante and I shouted in unison, although my shout was more fierce and resentful than his. You can't blame me though; she was looking at me like she saw God! I was always told my butt was one of my greatest ass-ets, but come on!
“Is it that important, Katie?” I asked in a fake sweet voice while my eyelids visibly stuttered.
“Yes it is. You shouldn't be a blank flank because I know for a fact youhave already found your special talent.”
That's a good question. Maybe I don't have a cutie mark because the ponies in Equestria follow different laws and physics?
Wait a second, why am I indulging her?! I should be worrying about why I'm a pony, not an incomplete one!
“I don't give a shit! I've been stripped of the two things that dictates my life: My humanity and manhood! But, the thing that sticks out to you the most is a missing tattoo on my ass? Where are your priorities, Katie?! Whe-” I stopped my hissy fit as I got a good glance at the devastated look on her face.
What am I doing? Why am I lashing out on my siblings for? It isn't their fault they don't know what I’m going through.. they're still humans!
I know Katie genuinely means well. The moment I woke up she really made sure I was okay and let her compassionate tendencies be known... she always has. She just... has a habit to concentrate on the more positive aspects of any ordeal due to her uplifting demeanor. She's also a fan of the show... so yeah I can't blame her.
And as for Dante... as you can tell he could be a jerk. But, he has a good heart underneath his jerkassness. He was just making sure which pronouns I was comfortable with, not doing it to be a spiteful prick.
I sighed and turned my head away from them. “I'm sorry, guys. I'm just... still shocked from this. T-this isn't n-normal... but that doesn't give me the right to act like an asshole.”
Katie smiled. “It's alright, Shawn. I should be apologizing for flipping out over you being a 'blank' flank. ”
Dante nodded. “Yeah, man, it's all good. I think it's just your new hormon-” His sentence faded into nothing as I shot him a glare so quick and terrifying it spoke at least 5 volumes of a horror series. “Never mind. Uhhhh what's a blank flank though!” he quickly changed the topic.
I leered at him. Oh, I forgot he doesn't watch MLP. He wouldn't be caught dead watching that show actually. That's why I still have yet to tell him I'm a fan of the show. It's not that I'm afraid of him , it's just that I'm not looking forward to dealing with him trying to ridicule me everyday. I could already predict him saying: 'OH LORD SHAWN WATCHES A PONY SHOW WHUT A FAGOOT LOLO GROW A PAIR U QUEER!'
Yeah, Imagine hearing that every second of your life, then imagine me punching him in the neck. He's dead, and I'm going to prison for life. Badaboom! Both of our lives are over.
I want to avoid all of that.
“A blank flank is a pony who didn't acquire their cutie mark yet,” Katie answered swiftly.
“ What the hell is a cutie mark? ”
“A cutie mark is the special talent illustrated on your flank, much like a tattoo.”
He stared at her, the perplexity on his face not lifting in the slightest.
“Obviously you don't know what Mlp is,” she muttered.
“What the fuck is Mlp!? Mutant lesbians porn?!” He snapped.
“My... little... pony...”
Oh boy, someone has been living under a rock the last few years. How could he not know what my little pony is?
Maybe because he was was too busy living that college life: Sleeping with all the girls that rejected you for being too young.
Hahaha you're funny!
“My little pony... you mean that little girls show grown men worship?!” he enquired, the corner of his lips curling upwards into the shape of a smile.
Well, looks like he isn't totally oblivious after all.
“Pretty much,” Katie replied.
He soon broke out with laughter. “Dude! Y-you watch that, Katie?”
“Yeah, problem?”
“Haha! Nah, not really but... it's a little kid's show.”
“Implying you don't watch little kid shows.”
“Uhhh...” he hesitated. “You know what, it doesn't even matter since you're a girl. If you were a man though... I don’t know what I would do, haha! I'd would assume you're a basement dweller who couldn't get a date even if it was on a calender. ”
Katie joined his floaty fit of laughter, even though I know she didn't want to, while I stood with a blank expression on my face. Now you know what I mean about Dante's attitude towards things he doesn't understand. He's a good sort, but damn is he an insular one! It seems like it's all good in fun right now, but when he finds out I watch the show his dark side will come out.
Hello, earth to groundhog, you're female now! He won't be able to say shi- I don't wanna use my gender as an excuse to do things. Really? Yup. So.. I guess you won't be trying to woo thirsty stallions to buy you stuff, huh? No.
You're a waste of a sex change, you know that?
“Ahem,” I feigned a cough, getting their attention, “shouldn't we like... try and figure out why I'm a pony? I don't plan to stay like this forever if you haven't figured out.”
Katie leaned one of her knees on the floor to make direct eye contact with me. “But why not Shawn? You look so adorable like this,” she teased. I simply rolled my eyes. “Besides, you're probably looking at this from a negative point of view. If I were a pony I would be happy! Look at all the positives!”
My left eye twitched. There are no positives! I mean, at least if I was a unicorn or Pegasus at least I would have some extra abilities, but I've became an earth pony! That's like... the Jewish version of ponies! What's the use of bucking apple trees if there are no apple trees in this goddamned area?
And the negatives are... too many to name. But the main ones are: I lose my hands, feet, height, hair, skin color, voice, and my cock!
I sighed. “No, Katie. I just want to be human again. I don't care about this body at all! I'll do anything to be human again. In fact, why don't we all go on an internet heist and see of we can find anything concerning this 'freak' accident.”
"Yeahhhhh, I don't know about that," Dante murmured.
"Dante!" Katie shrilled while glaring at him.
He appeared befuddled for a second until he laid eyes on me, quickly switching to a calm attitude and smiling.
My eyes bounced from the two siblings repeatedly untill I finally settled on staring at Dante. I think he knows something I don't. "What do you mean, Dante?"
"Nothing!" a feminine voice quickly injected. I turned to Katie, noticing her skin paling and perspiring all in one jump.
She is hiding something.
"Katie, you need to tell me everything."
"But Sha-"
"No!" I said while jabbing a hoof out. "You can't keep any information 'clandestine' Katie. Just tell me whatever Dante is hiding.... I need to know."
She sighed. "I didn't want to tell you this because I thought it would upset you, but fine." She took a moment to breathe before she started. "Earlier today I was researching 'ponies on earth' and had trouble finding anything. I searched through every major news and social networking site and still found nothing! So since no major mainstream media covered anything remotely related to the topic, I started to think 'what if Shawn really did turn into a 'pony?' I started to read the situation closely: I know you didn't do anything weird yesterday or the week before, I know it's impossible for diseases to transform people into miscellaneous species, and I know for a fact nothing in the world has the power to turn you into a pony from a fictional show! So you know what I think?”
I gulped. "W-wha?"
"I think this is out of our control, Shawn. The only answer to this is: Cosmics. "
Silence once again.
We really need some music to soothe the mood.
You know, I've had a very secular mindset my whole life and believed everything could be proven with science, but the fact that Katie's theory seems more believable than anything a scientist can even verbalize has me thinking one thing:
“There is no other way to put it because it's true,” I broke in. Katie held a finger up and looked like she wanted to say something but I shot her down with my glare. “You know... it's true...” I hissed.
A tense silence lingered in the room as she matched my stare. "Exactly," I muttered. She don't even have to say it because silence is the least subtle way of showing 'resignation' She knows damn well I'm stuck like this... forever... ever ever, ever ever!
I felt tears begin to build up in my eyes once again. Aw crap, not right now! Not with Dante and Katie in the room!
Jesus, why am I getting so emotional for? If this was yesterday I would have reacted with no emotion at all. I guess all the gender bender fics I came across on the web were accurate with their portrayal of r63 protagonists... because these female hormones are kicking my ass right now.
I rotated my body around, averting my face from the two siblings. “C-Can you two leave the room please?”
“Why?” They asked, their voices bleeding into each other.
“J-Just... go,” I whispered faintly but assertively.
“Okay.” Dante said, the sound of his footsteps traveling across the room and the door swooshing open soon being heard. It's great that Dante acquiesced, but I don't think Katie did; I only heard one set of feet...
“Why are you still here, Katie?” I asked without even turning around, my calm voice betraying the lack of humility I felt
“How do you know I didn't leave?”
“B-Because I only heard Dante's footsteps...”
“Oh...” she said sheepishly.
It took a few more sniffs until I officially regained composure. I took a deep breath, making sure my nose wasn't stopped up. “So I ask again: Why are you still here?”
“Because I don't want you to do anything stupid.”
What?
Her response piqued my curiosity a great deal, turning my despondent eyes to inquisitive ones. “What are you talking a-about?” I said while smearing my hoof against my eyes, wiping off the remaining drops of tears.
“I know you're angry right now and tend to make rash decisions, but I know you can control yourself. Don't kill yourself, Shawn, don't. You will regret that for the rest of eternity... in hell that is.”
I nearly snapped my neck as I viciously screwed my head around to face her. Kill myself? How c-can that thought even cross her head? “I-I-I... what do you mean kill myself!? I wasn't planning on doing that, Katie! Who the hell do you take me for?”
She leaned one of her knees on the floor to make direct eye contact with me. “So... if you weren't gonna kill yourself then why did you ask us to leave?”
“Because I didn't want you guys to see my cry...” I mumbled, which was unfortunately audible enough for her to hear.
She raised an eyebrow quizzically. “You're... serious?”
“Yes... how else am I supposed to react to being told I'm stuck like this?” my voice mingled snark but disappointment.
“I never said you would be stuck like this forever, Shawn. I said I 'think'.”
“ You implied it...”
“ No I didn't!” she grunted while clutching her fists together, the irritation in her voice becoming more susceptible. "All I said is this might be beyond our comprehension!"
“Yeah, well even if you're right, we both know what you meant when you said only 'someone' who is beyond our comprehension has the answers to my quandary!”
“W-what are you talking about?” she queried in a soft but abashed tone.
I growled and leaned my face closer to hers, my muzzle now pinching the bridge of her nose. “God! You implied God turned me into this, goddammit!" I raised my hoof as if I was about to smack her, but that was out of pure frustration. "Like, who the hell does this 'Jesus' guy think he is, penalizing me just because I believe in a meaningless, purely physical world!”
She scowled while slowly using her fingers to push me away. “No I didn't. I said cosmos, dummy! Do you even know what Cosmos are? As in cosmic rays?”
My eyes flashed for a split second. It was then that moment I realized how stupid I sounded. “Oh... my fault...” I apologized, giggling nervously to shake the embarrassment off. Yeah, I'm not the brightest light bulb in the package as you can see...
You're an ass... and you're dumb...you're a dumbass.
The blond hair girl sighed. “Even if it was God, why would he turn you into a Pony?”
“Hmm. I'm sure by now you know I don't believe in God, right?"
She nodded. "Yeah, you're an atheist. So?"
I shook my head. "No, I'm not an atheist! I'm just a guy who thinks organized religion is stupid, just like I think science is. I'm just saying... what if there is a 'God' and he really did turn me into this... mutated specimen."
She deadpanned. "Well, first of all, there are worse people than you out there. You don't believe God exists, big deal. I don't believe in mild pedophilia. Second of all, I don't think he would use his power to take a piss on a normal person like you, Shawn. No offense, but you're not that interesting to be a person of interest. Third of all, I don't think he has the power to do that. Just because he could stop a thunderstorm doesn't mean he could stop someone who's in the prime of their life."
"... I guess it wasn't 'Him' then."
"Exactly!" she chirped, grinning cheerfully.
"But the fact is... there is really no hope for me."
Her smiled faltered apace. She grabbed me by my shoulders and looked me in the eyes intently. "Are you slow?! Did I ever explicitly state you would be like this forever? No I didn't, so stop with the goddamn straw-man arguments!" she wailed while shaking my body back back and fourth. “All I'm telling you is to stop depending on becoming human again because this might be a little outta of our control!"
My facial muscles relaxed as I mused her statement. “Out of our control...” I muttered monotonously. “ You're saying it's a little out of our control, dude, how am I supposed to take that sentence? In my dictionary, the word 'a little' is a passive aggressive way of saying definitely!”
Her right eye twitched. “Oh my god... y-you're impossible! Ugh!" she broke her grip and quickly got off the floor. She then took it a step further by veering her attention to the wall.
I face hooved. Great job, Hopkins, you pissed off somebody who was actually taking time out of their day to help your making-poems-about-rocks ass.
At least you're learning!
I sighed."Katie I-"
"Since you think you have no chance at turning back, how do you plan on living from now?" she muttered in a low, stoic tone.
"...What?"
She turned back to me, laying her hands on her hips in the process. "What are you gonna do? Are you gonna try to adjust, or are you gonna live with a dark cloud above your head for the rest of your life?"
“I don't know,” I said without giving it an extra thought. “All I am thinking about is being a human again. I just can't imagine living like this forever..." I looked up to meet her blue eyes, only to see a glare so powerful it could make death melt in his pants. "...If you want a direct answer, I guess I'll live in despair the rest of my life."
"Hmm." Was her response. I'm guessing I haven't satiated her needs...
"What?"
"If I were you I would try to find the good in being a pony instead of sulking it up all day."
My tail flapped on the floor as my irritation aroused. "...You ain't got the answers, Katie, you ain't got the answers!" I barked, making her visibly flinch back. "We are not the same! You're a cheerful girl who has everything going right in her life right now, so of course you would find a way to be happy! But me ? It's not always sunny in the city of brotherly love for me, sister. Life has been pretty shotty to me for along time, but that doesn't mean I handle it by wearing a mask, an anonymous mask, on my face. I handle it straight up instead of fronting like it's alright!
"If I try to be happy about being a pony... I lose my integrity, my authenticity... my absurdity-I mean sanity! Most of all... I will be reminded about it every second. Life has kicked me in the uretha for the 100th time yet I'm smiling like it's all good?!" I snapped. "Do you understand where I'm coming from now, Katie? Do you feel my balls!?" I snapped while my slamming my right hoof on the floor.
She continued to quizzically watch me in silence.
I snickered cynically. "Of course you don't... you're not me! I can't cope with shit like this with artificial happiness! It's not me... it's a dumb suggestion! I-I rather turn to alcohol than to crap like that!"
A thick silence hung in the air after my tirade. I know deep down I probably shocked her by openly admitting to turning to liquor, but hey I'm just being honest. That's how much pain I feel from this. If I'm going to try and ignore my predicament, at least a hung over is an honest way of doing it! My head will hurt so much I won't even remember my real name.
“No you won't, Shawn..." her voice prodded into my ears. I turned around and saw her sitting on the floor once again. "Don't ever think like that, Shawn. That's... horrible. Look, just because your life is going to be different doesn't mean it's gone! Everyone rides their horse at full speeds during some point in their life, but there is a point in everyone's life where they get kicked off their horse!" she craned her neck out to get closer in my face. "So you know what you do? You get right back on and eat that horse!”
I took a step back, giving her a wry look. “What the hell are you talking about?!"
“I don't know, but don't even think about drinking or else you will die!" she said while hysterically opening the palms of her hands. "No seriously, you will be putting your life and future at risk. You're to good of a person to let a spontaneous transformation make you succumb to alcohol, Shawn! Yeah, you might have lost your humanity, but what do you still have?"
My ears flattened to the back of my head. Not from her question but her casual reference to my transformation. Meh, I'll answer anyways. "Uh... my personality?"
“Not only that... but your family.”
My... family?
I mulled over what she could've possibly meant in my head for a few seconds. “Oh, you mean support?”
She nodded. “Yes. I don't want to sound cheesy, but this could have been worse. What if Dante threw you in the garbage this morning? You would have been about seven thousand miles from the house by now! Can you imagine that, Shawn?"
"Uhh..."
"Exactly. You don't even need to try and put up a happy facade because you have a lot to be happy for! Yeah, life might kick you in the 'uretha' but that's what made you into the strong person you are today, am I right? You've been through worse than this before but you still made it out without Scottif-ying your life!"
At first glance you would think Katie is being a typical sycophant by fueling me with all these lies just to get me to ignore the severity of my situation, but she is somewhat correct. Nothing I've been through in life is worse than this... but it could be damn well near it!
I'm not gonna elaborate on that though... I'm just going to listen to Katie for once. She really touched me in places I never knew I could feel.
That's female anatomy for you, baby!
No... I mean mental feelings...
Going back to what I said, she really did open my eyes up a little. I do feel a little more re-assured than earlier. I guess the combination of her inspirational quotes and calm tone was enough to make me simmer down. Obviously she had to put in some effort to calm down... but why? Why would she waste her time with me?
I squeezed my eyes closed. "I don't get it, Katie. Why did you stay to help me? I can be extremely obnoxious at times but you still stayed. Why?"
She rested her hands on my shoulders once again, smiling weakly. "Because you're my brother, Shawn. I don't care if you look like it or not, but it is what it is. I stayed because I simply didn't feel comfortable leaving you in a room by yourself. You might say you wouldn't have killed yourself, but you would have done something fucked up regardless. The image of you taking a blood bath on the floor this morning is still stuck in my head..."
My eyes broadened. So that's why she keeps bringing up me 'killing myself'. It was my reckless actions earlier that led to her getting those crazy thoughts...
I suddenly felt the urge to wrap my hooves around her waist and embrace her in a hug. Yeah, this is somewhat uncharacteristic of me, but I'm not objecting. It's the only right way to show my 'gratitude'. “T-thanks..., Katie...” I muttered while pressing my cheek closer to her body.
From the corner of my eye, I peeped her looking down at me with a perplexed probing look. “Wow... you're hugging me voluntarily? Are you getting fluffy on me, Shawn?”
The jubilation that surrounded my aura disappeared as an irritated grimace came about. I jerked my hooves away from Katie and broke the hug. “Hell no! I was just... lost in the moment and-”
“-It's alright, Shawn. You can't help being you,” she teased
I rolled my eyes and turned away from her. “That's it, no more hugs...”
Katie paused for a few seconds, soon spiraling into boisterous laughter. I raised an eyebrow at her random outburst. “What's funny? I'm serious!” Her laughter increased in volume. I sighed and gave a little chuckle on my own. If you can't beat than join them I guess.
I mean, it was kinda funny. I know I really shouldn't be laughing at myself after having such an emotional moment... but I can't help but admit it makes me feel better. If all it takes is laughter... maybe I can cope through this?
“Shawn!” Katie yelled, brusquely cutting into my monologue, “did you take a shower today?”
“Uhhh... no. Why?”
“You smell Wreckin Ralph shook his ass, that's why.”
I stuffed a nose in my fur to confirm if her analysis on my scent was valid or not. The grimace that soon appeared on my face illustrated the severity of the odor better than any verbal action could. “You're right.”
“I guess because something is cute doesn't excuse it from it stinking,” she quipped.
I blushed. I don't know why but I suddenly feel very embarrassed. Usually I'm not that self-conscious about the way I smell. In fact, I would normally use this as an opportunity to annoy Katie by brushing my armpits on her while saying there is 'no chance in hell of me bathing.'
Maybe I should do that and make things feel less... awkward.
“But Katie,” I started, enlarging my eyes to dramatic effect, “I thought you liked my...bad smell.”
She grimaced. “What'ch talkin bout, Willis?”
“I'm talking about-”
What the hell am I talking about? Ugh, that's fucking disgusting!
“Yeah...well, I'm going to go now. Nice meeting you!” I announced in a rush.
I turned around and started to head towards the door. Well... that was different. I was really going to do it too, but something in my mind inhibited me. I don't know.. maybe I was-
"Ahhh!" I yelped as I missed a step and chucked forward violently, nearly falling flat on the ground. Only because I thrumped my hooves into the floor at the last second I was able to stop my falling fate.
Katie giggled in the background. “I'm guessing you don't know how to walk, huh?”
"N-n-n-n-no!" I said through gritted teeth, ashamed to admit it.
She chuckled. “That's because you're not walking right. You walk like you have a charlie horse, no pun intended.”
I rolled my eyes while turning my head towards her. “Okay, mistress Mandy, how am I supposed to walk then?”
“When you walk forward you're supposed to rock your body left and right.”
Oh hell no.
“I'm not walking like that,” I asserted.
She rolled her eyes. “You have to, Shawn. Your butt is literally too big to walk in a straight motion! Look at it! It's like a giant, birthday cake!”
“I-I don’t wanna hear that!”
“Then shut up and do it!”
“Fine!” I said whilst sucking my teeth. I put her advice to the test by moving my fore hooves and hind legs forward lightly, swaying my hips left and right each time I executed the motion. The muscles related with the locomotion of my body were felt as I trudged and trudged, but I shockingly maintained my balance. Surprise surged through my body.
Wow, once you get past the part where it feels like I'm walking like a slut, this feels pretty damn comfortable.
I repeated the motion sequentially before promptly stopping front of Katie. “Yup, I can walk like this."
“Hmm,” Katie grunted before holding her head up proudly.
“T-thanks, Katie. How did you know?”
“Easy, I just studied the way the ponies walk in the show.”
Really?
“You must be bored to death, huh?” I asked in deadpan.
“No, I just felt like doing it. Now, go take a shower, skunk bag!”
I rolled my eyes and started to head for the door, using the new 'tips' Katie told me. I slowly moved my left forehoof forward whilst moving my right hind leg forward, doing the same with the other sides of my legs as well. It worked, but only at the expense of my pace. Maybe if I can walk without being meticulous I could go faster?
“Wait!” Katie called out.
I turned around quickly. “What?”
“Do you want me to come with you? I think you might have trouble starting the shower since you have... a new body and all.”
“Nah, I'm good. I like my showers private, thank you very much.”
“Okay, but if you get hurt just know it was your fault.”
“Pshhhhhh, get out of here!” I snorted while waving a hoof. “I'm not gonna get hurt! Taking a shower is like one of the most innate things ever!”
“So was walking, but you needed help with that didn't you?” she scoffed.
Her incisive logic hit a soft spot in my nervous system, causing my cheeks to flush. “...But walking and taking a shower is completely different.”
“They are both something you were able to do as a human, though.”
“...B-but-”
“No butts, only big asses.”
I cringed. I don't even know how to respond to that. “Uhhh, whatever. You can come.”
Katie clapped her hands and ra- no, skipped to the door with alacrity. She pulled the door open and stepped to the side, bowing her head in a haughty yet elegant fashion. “Ponies first.”
An unamused scowl emerged on my face. “You're annoying.”
“I know,” she replied, grinning cheekily.
I sighed and marched out the room. When I reached the beginning of the corridor, I took a second to take in the dark, narrow and cluttered interior of it. Due to the darkness, the physical forms of the objects were obscured, only their shadows being susceptible. Because of the only source of light being the ambient light shining from downstairs, I felt compelled to walk even slower than I already was.
“We're here,” Katie said.
I blinked and looked up, seeing a tall white door with a sign nailed on it that read 'do not disturb'. Yup, we're here. Don't pay attention to that sign though, it's just a hoax.
Katie opened the door and swept a hand in front of her chest, beckoning me to go inside once again.
My left eye twitched. “You're annoying, dude.”
“I know,” she giggled.
I huffed and titled my head away from her's as I entered the bathroom. The moment I walked in my attention was captured.
Woah
My gait suspended while my pupils on the other hand rolled around the room to study the appearance of every object. The toilet, tub, sink, and ceiling looked drastically higher/bigger then before! Like damn, this really makes going to the bathroom more of an... adventure. I'm probably going have to hop on the toilet just toI can reach the sink!
“Helloooo!” Katie said while waving her hands in front of me.
I broke out of my reverie, deliberately blinking a few times before facing her. “Hm?” Oh shit, I spaced out! I can't let her know I was amazed by how 'big' the room is! “Sorry, I-I was picturing whore's island.”
Her eyes stretched open in abashment. “Um... well, you can picture whore's island all you want when you take a shower. You are going to take one, right?”
“Uh, yeah, of course!” I said with uncertainty, grinning sheepishly. “Infact, I'm going to go now!”
"Okay."
I turned around and slowly approached the tub. I think I know why Katie thought interacting with showers might be a conundrum for me. I've been in this room before yet everything feels so... different. I just get a 'new' vibe to it if that makes sense.
This is what you wanted, bro! You can't back out now!
How come you always urge me to do something instead of trying to talk sense into me? Because I'm not a nagging bitch.
Now at the tub, I used my hind egs to support myself on two feet, hoisting my front and back legs over the tub's surface. Ha, I got in without any bruises! I I quickly twisted my neck around to look at her, feeling my mane brush against my neck. “See, I'm about to get it!”
“Finish getting it then!” she exclaimed mirthfully.
Turning my attention back to the shower, I placed my fore-hooves on the 'hot' knob and twisted the ellipse shaped knob to the right. Sadly it didn't budge. “What the hell?”
“Want me to turn it on?" Katie volunteered.
“NO!” I shrilled, not forsaking the opportunity of doing something myself.
Her head twitched back. “Jesus, it’s not like I'm asking to scrub your back!”
I reverted my attention back to the knob, summoning my strength as I pushed again in attempt to to get it to waver, but my efforts were cut short as the metallic handle pinched me, sending a sharp pain down my bones.
“-Gahhh son of a bitch!” I growled while pulling away the recently stung hoof. Why can't I move the damn thing?
Maybe because you don't have a tight grip on it? And before you ask, yes, you're gonna have to use your mouth
I grimaced at the thought. That seems so... primitive. Why go through the trouble of that when I could just tell Katie to turn it on?
You're the one that wanted to be independent, fool. Don't back out now.
“Alright, Katie, you can turn it on.”
“I thought you would never give in,” she muttered dryly.
“Yeah, well, I came to my senses and did the right thing.”
You came to your senses and did the bitch thing!
She sighed and adjusted the knobs accordingly. “Stand back...” she muttered, a slight hissing sound being produced from the shower's nozzle.
I smiled. “Thanks, but you can leave now since I-Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I let out a violent scream after an immense amount of hot water planted me on the neck.
“Shawn!” Katie shouted.
I held my hooves over my head in attempt to shield myself from the rapid flowing spikes of water. It lessened the pain but still inflicted a healthy amount of burn to the appendages nonetheless. A few seconds later the water stopped, cutting my assault short.
Holy shit, what the hell just happened!? I know what happened... Hot chocolateeeeeee rainnnnnn!
“Oh my god! Are you okay, Shawn?” she yelled while looking down at me sympathetically. Before I could answer, my body involuntarily limped. Eh, I guess I can respond with that. She bent over and cradled me into her arms. “See, I knew you would hurt yourself! That's it, I'm washing you up!”
My ears perked up. Bish whett?
The burning sensation in my neck disappeared following her abrupt utterance. I slowly lifted my head up to glare at her, feeling my pain gradually channel into anger. “Like hell you are!”
Her eyes glued open rather eccentrically as she clutched her fists to her chest. “Have you lost your fucking mind?! You almost killed yourself with the water yet you still wanna take a shower?!”
I almost killed myself? She's the one who started the water so how did I almost 'kill' myself?
“No... you almost killed me!” I growled while pointing an accusing hoof at her.
“M-me?” she asked while directing a finger to her face, snorting disdainfully. ”You must be off the shits."
“You made the water too hot! I like taking hot showers to bathe in, not cook in!” I barked. She stared at me as if I was speaking a foreign language equipped with an accent that differs greatly from it. I grunted and took a step forward, feeling like I'm walking on air because my body is telling me to fly over there and slap the living shi-
I stopped mentally plotting against her when I noticed an innocent glint in her eyes; an innocent but familiar glint that magnified the more I stared. Yup, she isn't aware. “W-what type of hot showers do you take?”
“What type of cold showers do you take!?" she shot back. "I barley moved the knob halfway!”
My jaw hung open. “Y-you're lying!”
“I'm serious! I would never intentionally make the water hot to harm you!”
“I'm not saying you did, I'm saying you probably made it too hot by accident.”
“Bullshit!” she cried. “Face it, your new body probably couldn't handle the heat!”
“...A-are you trying to imply my body was too fragile for the water?”
“I'm not implying it... I'm saying it straight up!” she bellowed so loud all the teeth in her mouth were on display for a split second.
Wow... she's so adamant about this.
Maybe she didn't screw up setting up the water? I mean, this is Katie I'm talking about. She's the least accidental prone person in the house and wouldn't be caught dead injuring her family member's over something as mundane as a shower. Maybe I'm just in denial?
But, her inferring that my body isn't tolerant to hot water is even more rigid than my accusation! If I had to choose what to believe, I would believe she messed up because at the end of the day: No one is always punctual!
My cheeks puffed out as a haughty smirk emerged on my face. “ Katie, we both know you screwed up so stop the nonsense! I'm not gonna hold a grievance over something you did by accident anyways, so come clean already!”
“S-spoken like a true asshole!” she exclaimed while throwing her hands up. “You just don't want me to wash you up because you're trying to be a 'bad ass' and not accept anyone's help, even though deep down you know damn well you need it! ”
I paused. “T-that' not t-true!” Brain, she's catching on to us! “I just think you m-made a m-mistake and-”
“Fine,” she interjected, “since you're so sure I am a clutz, why don't you go ahead and adjust the water yourself, 'Sheldon'?”
I was smiling until the last part of her sentence. “B-but I can't adjust the water with my hooves!”
“That's not my problem,” she maintained, putting her hands on her hips. “I guess you will just have to use your mouth.”
I told you.
I facehooved. Dammit! Why does life always have to bend me over and find a stranger in the alphs?!
"Whatever, Katie! Go ahead.”
“Finally!” she said while pumping her fist in the air.
My tail involuntarily flicked on the floor.….......................................................................................................................................................................... After being 'washed up', Katie and I relocated to her room. I was sitting on the edge of her king sized bed, watching her rummage through her dresser for clothes an appropriate fit for me. I'm starting to regret asking because she is taking forever!
Funny because I initially protested the idea of clothes since it makes no sense now that I'm a goddamned cartoon horse. But, I'm still kinda insecure about my new 'sex' so... I guess you can say my better judgment got the best of me.
I sighed and began waddling my legs back and fourth like an impatient child. I should have knew she was gonna do something to piss me off either way, especially after what happened in the restroom.
Did I forget to tell you it took her like twenty minutes to wash me up? It would have been quicker but she didn't have a chill button and wouldn't stop throwing me in the tub like it was the damn swimming Olympics! Ugh, I'm gonna spend days cleaning water out my ears...
But, the embarrassing part came when she insisted on using feminine shampoo to wash my hair. Of course I tried to fight back, but it was to no avail. I knew it was possible to be raped with a shampoo bottle, but I never knew it was possible to be raped by the substance itself!
Maybe the smell was so critical she had to use a stronger smell to mask it? Excuses, brain, excuses! She's insane!
“Sorry Shawn, I couldn't find anything that fits you,” Katie said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I shrugged. “It's alright, I guess.” Unbelievable! Are you kidding me! All this time doing nothing I could have been sleeping! Y-you... ass hat!
“Eh, I think you will be fine. Your tail covers all the important parts anyway.”
My tail flapped against the bed in bemusement. Wait... my tail? My ail! I almost forgot about it! Yeah, I think it will be able to conceal my backside pretty well now that I think about. I mean, I never seen anything slip up in the show once, so maybe it shouldn't happen to me?
The only problem is it's a kid show. Even if it did slip up there's no way in hell they would animate pony genitalia. So... maybe it isn't worth it? 2015 will be the year of nudity... I can tell.
“Well, I hope it does. God, this would be so much easier if outerwear existed!”
“...Outerwear?”
“Yeah, outerwear! It's some type of invisible underwear ponies wear to cover their most precious parts. I read about it in a fanfic alongggg time ago.”
She grimaced. “That sounds... retarded.”
“Not retarded, superfluous,” I opined. "Think of it as a coat on a rainy day."
She ignored my sentiment and snatched a small crystal bottle from her dresser, slowly accosting me with it.
“...What is that?” I asked, inquisitively eyeing the new possession in her hands.
“Oh... nothing,” she said while stiffening a giggle.
I scrutinized the bottle and read the text imprinted on the bottle out loud. “Chanel...”
Oh my god, she's trying to put perfume on me!
“C'mon Shawn! You will smell so good! Don't you wanna smell good?”
“No! Don't come near me with that you psycho!” I said while scattering back in the bed, feeling my back press against the wall.
The wide eyed girl came closer, resembling that silent girl with the toy bunny from Dexter's laboratory more and more. “Shawn, come on! This is the main component of living!”
“Not for me! Why can't you just use deodorant on me?!”
“If you are going to be female you are going have to smell the part, Shawn!”
“How about if I'm not that type of girl?”
She snickered. “Hehe, there is no such thing!” she then pounced on the bed and cornered me into the wall. Before I could say anything, she grabbed me by the muzzle and moved the bottle to my eyesight.
Ehh...whatever.
I closed my eyes as she began to wildly spray the fragrance around my body. The smell of it was enough to make me go on a coughing fit reminiscent of a lung cancer patient. Sadly she was still spraying during my cough fit, making my taste buds tingle as a spicy taste went my throat.
“Ahhhh, you crazy cur!” I grunted while waving my hooves deliriously, trying to air my surroundings of the strong scent. I opened my eyes and glared at Katie, who was standing by her dresser of death once again. “It got in my mouth!”
She ignored my cries and pulled out a mini red brush. I gritted my teeth and threw my hooves up. “Katie, I swear to God if you do something with my hair I'll bite your lips off!"
“Oh hush you!” she murmured while waving a hand. “I'm just going to brush your hair.”
“You sure? Just a simple brush?”
She nodded and walked back to the bed. “Yep. No pigtails, buns, or anything of different breed.”
I sighed in relief. Thank God, I thought she would get in her 'extreme makeover pony edition' mode .
“I mean, if I wasn't so tired I would do it. I think you would look nice with it!” she said with a grin.
I shook my head. “Nah, I think I would look gay. You know would look good? A haircut. I would look more like a guy with one ”
Her grin faltered as she put her hands on her hips, arching her waist to the left in disdain. “Uhh... no. You would look like Sylvia Scarlett. Now that would look hella gay.”
I started at her blankly. “...You're lying.”
“I'm serious. Those long eyelashes and soft features of yours aren't helping.”
“Well, I'll just get a scissor and trim the eyelashes! Then after that I can train my face to look more muscular and manly!”
“...You're serious?”
I deadpanned. “No, I'm just talking out of my ass. Go ahead and brush it, runt.”
“Alright!” she yelled in expectancy. …......................................................................................................................................................................... 10 minutes later.
Well, Katie kept to her word and didn't try to do anything fancy with my hair. All she did was use her brush and take care of the frizzles in my mane and tail. I don't know why it took her so long, but who am I to complain?
But then again, it was only ten minutes. Ten minutes is probably regular? Matter of fact, how would I know? I usually brush my hair for like thirty seconds.
“Hellooooo?” Katie uttered while shaking me out of my stupor.
Oh my god, this is the second time. So embarrassing. “Sorry, picturing whore island again,” I blurted out.
“What do you think?” she said while holding up a small mirror in front of me. When I looked at my reflection, my ears perked up in surprise, and I was lucky enough to witness it.
Well, this exceeded my expectations. While the pon- I mean while I basically look the same as earlier, the prim mane and tail sure makes a hell of a difference.
I focused my attention to my new 'hairdo'. Gone were the small hair follicles that sprung up in every place as my mane now went down my shoulders straightly and silky. I also seemed to have two curls in the front of my hair, just like earlier, and the overall shape of the mane was puffier than before. I then turned to my eyes and noticed how well the puffy mane accentuates the shape and hue of my eyes, giving it a rounder but more vivid appearance. I got to say I look more upbeat like this, or in other words, more like a pony from the show. Honestly I will miss the unkempt look. It made me look gritter and represented how I felt inside better... but this isn't so bad I guess.
I leered at the reflection once again. In fact, there's an irrefutable appreciation to my 'look', but I just can't understand why. I don't really look like the pony in the mirror, so why should I be excited with how well it looks? Meh, I don't know.
“Uh, thanks Katie,” I said meekly, still mesmerized by my reflection. A smile was threatening to form on my face, but I quelled it by biting on my lips. “You did a g-good job.”
“You're welcome! And I know, I think you look cute!”
“Cute in an adorable or sexy way?” I asked timidly.
“Adorable way, duh! ” She huffed. She then smiled and quickly said, “I'm sure your sexy in pony standards though.”
“Sexy as in handsome or beautiful?”
“What do you think, dickless?” she growled.
I cringed. “What the hell is your problem?”
“Oh nothing...” she whispered.
I scowled. Alright, that was weird. I was just joking for Christ sakes! Even if she didn't like my joke, what would cajole her to talk to me like that?
I think being in the same room for too long is getting into her head.
I turned to the edge of the bed and kicked my hind legs out, dropping to the floor. “Can we go downstairs now?” I whispered hastily.
“Sure.”
We walked to the doors. Before I can even open it, Katie reached for the handle.
Oh boy, I know where this is going.
“Poni-”
“Ladies first!” I injected while giving a respectful bow, extending my hoof all the way to the hall way. I stayed like that for a good five seconds until I opened an eye to peak at the hallway, which was still empty. Oh hell nah.
“I said ladies first...” I said in the sweetest tone I could muster, my mouth curling into a frown.
“I'm not a lady, I'm a girl.”
My eyes snapped open as I glared at her. “Well, girls first!”
“You're a girl, too.”
“No I am not! I'm a guy!”
“Your vagina begs to differ.”
What?
Everything around me became dark as my eyes targeted Katie and mentally projected a bright beam of spotlight on her. I took a huge step back and found myself outside the room. For an extended second they remained steady and unblinking. “What did you say?”
She shrugged and started walking across the hallway. “It's true.”
I growled and slowly trailed behind her. “What's popping with you, Katie?”
“What do you mean?”
“Don't play stupid. You know damn well you've been acting weird today.”
“How am I weird?”
“Well, besides putting perfume and female shampoo on me, every time my gender was brought up you said something smart or scornful! What's up with that?!”
She halted her gait and turned around to look at me.“Okay, I have. You're point?”
“My point is you're being a dick!”
“Well, you're being a bitchy baby with your incessant 'I'm a guy' statements! It's annoying!"
My jaw hung open. I'm annoying? I'm annoying?! “Y-you... shut your mouth! You know how sensitive I am when it comes to this! Hell, you saw me pass out this morning when I realized I lost manhood... you saw it!” I barked, my voice beginning to shake with rage and angst. “And I wouldn't have to keep repeating myself if you didn't keep trying to push a female agenda on me!”
Katie shot me a fevered glare and clutched her fists together. I matched her stare with my own, and surprisingly her expression softened. Instead of responding, she stayed silent.
“ Tell me, Katie, why are you trying to push a female agenda on me?” I continued, trying to edge to talk. Still nothing came out. I sighed and began to pace around the hallway. “You know, Katie, I've been trying to ignore the gender change this whole time because I always thought the severity of being female paled in comparison to being a pony... but that doesn't make it a walk in the fucking park!
“ When you used female shampoo and perfume on me, I tried to ignore it. I didn't like it, but it beats smelling like Big Foot's dick, so I was like 'whatever'. But,” my tone took a sharp turn as I took a step forward, “when you try to coerce me to identify with a gender I wasn't born with and get frustrated when I fail to comply, that's when I tell you to piss off!”
After my tirade, I breathed in and out heavily, my heartbeat taking a minor but noticeable bump in speed. An extended moment of silence passed by. Wow, so she isn't going to speak? I at least hoped she would explain her actions so it wouldn't look like I was brow-beating her. I sighed and lifted my head up to look at her. My eyes widened as I got a glance at her quivering lips and watery eyes.
I made her cry!
“Oh shit, I'm sorry, Katie! I didn't mean any harm, I was just trying to-”
“No, don't apologize, Shawn,” she said with a weak smile, rubbing her eyes. “It's not because of anything you said.”
“I-I just don't understand what triggered you to say those things. Did I do something?”
She shook her head. “N-no, not really. It's just... when I realized you were female... I felt...” she paused to sniff, “...excited inside.”
“...Why?”
“Well, as you know by now I never had a sister growing up.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“So, when I was a kid I always tagged along with you and Dante because I really had no one to play with. Don't get me wrong, you guys were great company and stuff but you guys always did 'boyish' things. I was fine with it but what really irked me was you guys never wanted to do anything I wanted to do. It made me feel like... an outcast.” She crossed her stance demurely, rubbing her arm. “Still, I decided to play with you guys though because it's more fun playing with someone else than yourself! But, I still wished we could have done things my way... so, I thought you becoming female was a way I could finally experience what was missing from my childhood... but,” she exhaled through her nose, “I guess it wasn't.”
My eyes dilated. Not in astonishment, but embarrassment. She was deprived of female siblings as a kid, huh? Of course, how didn't I deduce anything like that sooner or later? It was rudimentary, man!
I manged to resist going into a self-recriminating stupor by biting my tongue. “So... you're saying you want me to be your sister? Technically I am your sister.”
She shook her head. “Umm... no. Forget about semantics. When I mean sister, I mean as the person who can fill the void you and Dante created.”
I was afraid of that.
I sighed and jabbed a hoof in my face, feeling the ambivalence eating me up. Now I'm staring to feel bad. The poor kid just wanted another sister and I'm the closest thing she has. It's frustrating if you think about it, because it's like the world is 'teasing' her. That sucks because Katie is a sweet kid and doesn't deserve this. In fact, after the way she stayed to comfort me today, you could say I'm obligated to be her 'sister'.
Well, I'm not. I'm not obligated to appease her by being someone I'm not! That's such a detriment to my character, man. Even if I do 'play the role' how about if I gradually began to enjoy it? No, missed me with that, baby! I'm abstaining from everything girly not because I'm a misogynist, but because it's not who I am! Just because the octagon, (and yes I did give my penis a nickname) is gone doesn't mean I'm her sister! I have to make things clear, man...
“...I don't know, Katie,” I started, beginning to walk again. “I understand where you're coming from, but I can't just fill that void. I'm still your brother by heart, you know?”
“I know, Shawn, I know. I shouldn't project my selfish desires on you, you know? It isn't right and...I'm sorry.”
I looked up to see a wistful smile on her face. I returned the smile, softly saying, “I forgive you.” I took a deep breath. “Honestly Katie, it could really be diff-” my sentence was stopped short as I missed a step on the staircase, soon feeling gravity forcefully pull me down.
“-rennnnnnnnnnnnnnt” I yelled as I tumbled down the stairs. TOURRETES TORRETES TOURETTES! I thought in rhythm to the sound of me thudding down the stairs. It wasn't until I saw the brown wooden floor I actually became scared. “Gah!” I yelped while crossing my fore hooves in front of my face for protection.
Thud!
The thumping finally ended as I landed on my living room floor, my arms absorbing all of the pain and contact. It wasn't as painful as I envisioned... but it definitely was embarrassing! In fact, of all the embarrassing things that happened today... this takes the crack in the ass.
You should have payed attention to the ground when you were walking. Remember kids, talking while walking down the stairs/across the street is the bastard child of texting while driving.
“Jesus Christ...” I muffled into the floor.
“HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!” A gravely male voice exclaimed in terror.
One year. It felt like I was staring into the man in front of my face for one fucking year! I just didn’t expect to meet my father in such a goofy fashion like this!
Yes, this middle-aged, black-haired, slightly overweight southern man is my father. And I can say today is definitely one of the days I DON’T want to see him!
You never wanna see him though.
Not true.
“Uhh... hi, Dad?” I said uneasily.
“Dad? DAD?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?” He bellowed, bawling his hands into firm fists.
I exhaled deeply, attempting to formulate a sentence, but nothing but air came out as my chest deflated. The slightest jerk of his body was enough to expand his shadow, which was already encompassing my entire body. That’s just another reminder of how small I became. He can really hurt me now if he chooses to blow his cool...
Goddammit, brain! Now’s not the time to be a passive ho!
I’m not the one shaking like I’ve got a vibrator in my pants!
“Holy shit, Shawn are you okay!” Katie’s exclaimed out of nowhere.
I turned around and saw her running down the steps. Oh thank god, here she comes with the save. I wonder what took her so long though... I fell down the steps almost a minute ago.
Man you know females, man, they have to put on makeup everywhere they go, even when it’s just down the stairs or to the toilet.
She’s not like that though.
“Katie?” Dad murmured irately. “Why did you call that thing Shawn?” My right eye twitched? That thing? Well screw you too, hippie.
Katie turned to his direction and nearly had the same reaction I did. “Ahh! Oh... uh, hey Dad! What brings you home today? I thought you and Mom went on a vacation over the weekend?”
He raised an eyebrow at her shitty attempt to equivocate. “We were, but our flight was delayed. I don’t know why, but the whole airport was a mess. Anyways, tell me again what is going on? You have had to see this,” he pointed at me, “ You had to!”
“Yes, Dad, I have,” she said while fully climbing down the steps, stepping over me like I was an obstacle, which was pretty disrespectful if I do say so myself. She gestured at me and said, “Dad, this is Shawn. He turned into a my little pony this morning.”
Turned into a my little pony... that sentence sounds so wrong.
To our surprise, he chuckled. “Haha, Katie, just stop it. April fools just passed so you're not getting me. There is no way that is Shawn. Nice try, but bad prank.”
“Dad, this ain’t a prank. I’m so serious... this is Shawn!”
“Like I said, this isn’t a funny joke, Katie.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course he’s gonna be skeptical to the point of being stupid. Why do adults have to be so stubborn? After living for over forty-five years, you’ve got to have enough experience in life to loosen up, right?
“Dad, she’s right. It really is me. I woke up like this on my bed. I have no idea why, but it’s definitely me. I can prove it, too by saying something only I would say.” He raised an eyebrow. “4-5-6, You lost now give me your six.”
Dad’s smile immediately faltered. If the situation weren’t so uptight, I would burst out laughing right now. I sighed and slowly approached him. “I know this is weird and everything, but you gotta believe me. And please...please, do not make a scene, alright? I don’t want Mom waking from her sleep to see a grown man fighting with a mythical horse...”
He leered at me. Suddenly the room drifted into an awkward, pregnant silence that surprisingly made it feel like the thermometer was bumped up by at least twenty degrees.I blinked, breathing in deeply just to look like I was doing something. I then looked at Katie, who shrugged while a hesitant smile itched off her lips.
“Um... Dad, are you okay?” She asked, waving a hand in front of his face.
He ignored her and continued staring at me. Not in hatred, but more so... curiosity, and disgust. “...Why do you sound like that? Are you a female or something?”
“Ummm, you could say that...” I trailed off.
“You sure? 100% percent?“
“I guess.”
“Bullshit! I got to see it to believe it!”
Wait, what?
My cheeks flared as I took a step back. “N-NO!”
Katie took a step forward and protectively covered me. “That’s enough, Dad. Shawn’s a girl. Trust me, I washed him up.”
“Seriously? I go away for seven damn hours just for my son to turn into my daughter! What the fuck, Jesus!” He screamed to the top of his lungs, looking to the top off the ceiling.
She deadpanned and let go off me. “Shouldn’t you be more concerned about him being a pony?”
“And how about you?! Where are your concerns in general, Katie?! You knew Shawn was like this and you didn’t even tell me or your mother?! You like him like this or something?!” He blatantly accused.
“No! I didn’t even know y’all were home!”
“You still could have called us and told us! ”
“Um... why would I do that and ruin y’all trip?”
“FORGET THAT, KATIE! Look at him!” He said while throbbing a finger at me. “He’s sick as hell! You should have told me the moment he transformed!”
“I’m not sick...” I piped in, but my words were overshadowed by their shouting match.
“Well, maybe it was GOOD I didn’t tell you because of the way you’re acting right now! Calm down! We need to be cool about this bec-”
He stomped on the floor furiously. “BE COOL?! What?! What do you mean be cool! This isn’t normal at all! I don’t understand how you two are so aloof about this, especially you, Shawn!”
I flinched. “W-what do you mean?”
“You’re just standing there like you don’t give a damn about what’s going on! You sure could have fooled me... it’s like you wanted this or something!”
Alright, that’s enough.
“Dad...” I started in a low, growling alto that actually sounded kinda intimidating, “I almost killed myself when I found out I turned into a pony. I jumped into a motherf-mirror! How is that calm? And I told you to not overreact about this, but you STILL do it anyways! Now Mom is probably up because of you!” Which means I’m gonna have to deal with her bitching.
“How am I supposed to react, Shawn? I’m finding out that my son, the kid I brought into this world, is now an unknown species and could have a contagious disease! Do you want me to break out laughing at that?!”
“N-no I don’t but I know you have some anger problems and can tend to drag things a li-”
“-We’re going to the hospital-” he broke in suddenly.
“..What?” I whispered, my mouth twisting downwards.
“We’re going to the hospital I said, you heard me.”
The hospital... as in.. the doctors?
But why. That is so unnecessary. When I first woke up like this, I knew it couldn’t have been a disease. I heard nothing about humans transforming into ponies weeks prior to this, and trust me, I’m very up to date with the news. Also, I’ve had no symptoms at all, haven’t ate anything weird, and haven’t had sex with anybody lately besides my ex (who I’ve been smashing for two straight years) so that is definitely out the question too.
Plus, why would I risk being experimented on too? Those doctors will probably freak out when they see me, call the Cia or whatever, and put me in a goddamn quarantine for life! Fuck outta here with that.
“I hope you showered, because we’re going as soon as I come back down stairs.” He walked past the both of us and went up the stairs. Once he reached the top he said, “When I come back down, you better be ready to leave, Shawn. We’re getting out of here as quick as we can.”
Once Dad left the vicinity of the living room alone to us, a relieved sigh escaped our throats. I glanced at Katie morosely, and she seemed to understand what was on my mind.
“Okay, he had an outburst, but it could’ve been worse, right?” Katie said mirthfully, walking toward the couches to take a seat.
I huffed and followed her to the same couch. There goes Katie, always in the mood to joke. “This isn’t funny, Katie. I don’t want to go the hospital!”
“Why not? Don’t you wanna get this cured?”
My mouth scrunched to the side in befuddlement. “Weren’t you the one that told me this isn’t a disease, but some supernatural shit?”
“Yes, but it’s sometimes it’s good to try and get other options. I doubt it too, but you have to try. Although I like you like this better, I liked you as an ugly, big-headed boy too.”
“Ha ha ha, how reassuring,” I snorted sarcastically, meriting a giggle from her. “But seriously, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why not? Because you’re uncomfortable? Wow, I thought you were afraid of nobody,” she taunted.
I shook my head. “That’s not what I’m talking about! Look, if you were a doctor, what would you do if you saw me?”
“Stare at you in awe, then try to examine you? And probably scratch behind your ears?”
“No, you wouldn’t try to examine me. You couldn’t. Doctors examine humans, not animals. They wouldn’t know what the hell to do with me. They would have to get someone more suited and experienced involved.”
“Are you sayin-”
“Yes, I’m saying they would have to get a group scientist to experiment on me. Or the government. Whatever happens, it’s gonna be big and a long process that I don’t care for.”
Katie’s face softened at my statement. “Oh my god, Shawn, I never thought of it like that.”
“Yeah, I’m not turning into a guinea pig for nobody. Dad’s heart is in the right place and all, but I’m not going to the hospital. I rather just wait it out and see if there are any other people like ‘me’. Don’t laugh at me, but I read a couple of fanfics where scenarios like thi-”
“I already know you read fanfics, Shawn,” she injected. “It’s no surprise. Don’t be embarrassed, everyone needs their yuri in text form once in awhile.”
“And you should know all about that, carpet-muncher," I retorted. "Anyways, I’m thinking there might be more people like ‘me’, and if that’s the case, eventually the outside world will find out about one of ‘us’, and then they can be the guinea pig, and then we can find out what is going on, and boom! Just like that, I don't have to do a damn thing and can still become human,” I said with a sly smile.
She crossed her arms. “I don’t know. That sounds far-fetched don’t you think? Besides, I doubt the doctors are going to go that far with you.”
“It’s better than being a guinea pig. I swear to god, I rather live like this then become somebody’s experimental bitch! And I’m not taking the chance,” I maintained, crossing my arms as well.
“Well, why didn’t you tell Dad that?”
“Katie, you know that douche isn’t going to listen. Just stop it. ”
“I guess. What are you gonna do though?”
“Easy. I’ll hide in your room.”
“You’re not hiding in my room, kid.”
“B-but hiding in my room is too obvious!”
She shrugged. “Oh well. I’m not going against Dad, I’m sorry. I don’t need to get him on his bad side right now.”
I can’t believe I’m about to do this. Manhood, I’m sorry, but you ain’t working for me right now.
“P-P-Pleaseeee?” I whimpered, giving my best puppy dog eyes while adding a small lip quiver for extra effect.
She giggled.“You’re not even doing it right. You just look straight funny.”
“Ah, come on!”
Damn. I think you just took your biggest L of the year.
No, he took thee biggest L of the year honestly.
Who the hell are you?
My eyebrow furrowed at the extra voice in my head. That's weird... where did that come from? Ehh, whatever. Let me focus on that later. First I need to find a pot... but where?
Oh shit, I forgot about the basement! No one goes in there anymore at all, it's basically abandoned!
I opened the door to my basement and was met with nothing but... pitch black darkness. Goddddd!
I shook my head and tried to feel for the light switch, only to feel the smooth surface of the walls. Damn, I just realized I’m too short to reach the light switch.
“Katie can you-” I shoved a hoof into my mouth at the last second. Katie what? No, she’s done too much for me today. I don’t need her to spoon feed me anymore. I’m the older brother after all, and I need to find my way through this crap by myself. I may or may not be human again, so I better start trying to transition while it's early. That’s what one of my wise friends said, “Early bird gets the gun, second to last gets the bullet in the stomach.”
My head snapped back as I looked over the kitchen. Thanks to the light source emitting from the kitchen, the walls weren’t as dark as the rest of the basement. I used my senses, and some of my vision of the white plastered wall, to scout for the light switch. My broad smile stretched across my face as I made out a small black blob protruding from the wall. That’s the switch obviously, but the darkness camouflaged it.
I got up on my hind legs and pushed against the wall for support. Initially wobbling, I regained some momentum and jumped as high as I can, flicking the switch on my way down. Suddenly the lights flashed, illuminating the entire basement from top to bottom.
“Yes!” I squeaked. So what if I squeaked? I’m not gonna let some gay little sound ruin my moment. I did something for myself today! I did it on my lonely!
You’re acting like a slow kid who finally learned how to kick a soccer ball.
Stop hating cause you have no limbs.
I lifted one of my forelegs to travel down the stairs, but sadly I miscalculated the distance between the lower step and my current position and the radius of how far my hoof reached in accordance to my height and-
I fell down the steps again.
BLOODCLOT!
My face was greeted with the horrible feeling of cold, cement ground. Instead of dwelling on it like last time though, I immediately got up and rubbed my muzzle soothingly. Jesus Christ, at this rate I’m gonna look like the Anteater if my mouth keeps bumping the floor.
I sighed and began to search for a secure hiding spot. My basement is a pretty spacious area, but there were objects and props filling up all the extra space to make it seem more closed in then it is. There was a large Tv stacked against a wall with a whole dvd/cd cabinet under it, couches surrounding it, a large pool table that took up most of the room, a small table that was used for drinking and playing cards, various display cases that held basketball/football stuff, fat heads of different sport athletes hung on the wall and best of all, a washing and drying machine with dirty laundry stacked on it. Yep, this is one hell of a basement. Shouldn't be too hard t find a spot.
Maybe you should hide with the dirty laundry? You'll fit perfectly.
Yawn. Get new material you stain.
As I turned the corner, my ears perked up as a venomous hiss crept in it. “What the...” I slowly turned around and saw a familiar black and white colored cat glaring at me.
“Kennedy?” I muttered, studying him closely. He replied with another hiss, this one more fierce. Something looks different about him. Why is his fur sticking up like that? Why is his pupils so dilated? Why is his claws out like that?
Ohhh, I see. He’s thinks I’m hostile because of my scent so he's gonna attack me.
I snickered and playfully put my hooves up. “Easyyyy, kit. It’s your boy, Shawn. Let’s not do something reckless.” It’s not that I’m scared of a cat or anything, but it’s the fact that I’m afraid of the idea I’m gonna have to put a puss in hospital boots, and I usually don't advocate animal cruelty either.
Suddenly, another hiss came from a side of the basement. I turned around and saw another animal’s face; this one way more angular, big, angry, and... mutty.
The black bushy dog barked again, revealing its sharp canine teeth in all of its glory. I cringed and took a tentative step back. “Abraham, settle down, boy. It’s me... Shawn! Don’t do nothing you’ll regret...”
Aww.. is somebody scared?
Hell yeah! That’s a freaking Russian Terrier, dude! I have no qualms with the cat because I’m the same size as him, but the dog? No!
He continued to accost me malevolently, making me back up even further. I suddenly came to a stop when I felt something concrete poke me in the back. I turned around and saw the cat from earlier grilling me. My eyes darted between the two as I put two and two together and realized they were ganging up on me.
Really? Am I about really be jumped by a damn cat and dog?
I tried to run for it but they quickly closed in on my back and neck respectively. Son of a bitch. Oh well, maybe they'll hear my screams of agony from upstairs.
Suddenly, I felt a brushing feeling against my legs. I looked slightly under my neck and saw Kennedy rubbing his head on my legs affectionately, purring in pure bliss.
Wait... wasn’t he just hissing at me a few seconds ago? “...Um, what? What are you doing?” I asked with an abashed glare. Even though it felt nice, it was random as hell. You don't stare someone down then rub your head on them. That's like hugging someone after they banged your wife.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of paws grab my butt out of nowhere. The sudden touch made me jolt up, but I felt myself being held back as a heavy body rocked back and forth against me rapidly. And just like that, my blood turned to ice.
Well, sweet mother Teresa on the hood of a Mercedes Benz, that fucking curr is humping me!
I yelped and instinctively broke free from the hot and bothered animal’s clutches, scrambling on my side. The animals slowly crept towards me, as if I were a deer trotting peacefully in the woods. Oh man, it all makes sense now. They weren’t growling at me... they were growling at each other because of me! But why? I’m not even their species! Are you telling me cats and animals screw everything they see moving?
Ugh... this is officially insane. I’ve got to get up out of here before 101 pony\dog\cat hybrids are made.
Brain, you know what to do, right broman?!
I GOT YOU BROHEEM! WE'RE NOT GONNA BE A VICTIM ANYTIME SOON, BROTAOTO CHIP! ACTIVATING RUN LIKE A BITCH MODE IN 5...4... 3... 2... 1...
“MIERDA!!!!” I cried while bolting towards the steps. The freaky animals caught onto my tail in a matter of seconds in their pursuit. I could feel them catching up to me, but I couldn’t hear them. All I could hear was the thumping of my heartbeat and my accelerated breathing.
I spotted Dad in the living room but blew past him like he was invisible, the adrenaline in my veins pumping too strong for me to stop.
I made my way up the stairs and dashed down the hallway. Through the flickering haze obscuring my sight, I was somehow able to see my bedroom door open. I ran straight in and dived under the bed apace.
“The fuck?” Dante murmured after seeing me bolt under the bed.
“CLOSE THE DOOR!” I screamed. “Hurry!”
“What are you talking abou-”
The animals suddenly zipped underneath the bed and came for me again. I turned my head and began wildly swinging my hooves. I didn’t care if I was missing or not... I’m NOT going down without a fight.
The presence of the two squallies suddenly diluted, and I opened one eye and saw Dante yanking them out. He beckoned them towards the door forcefully and yelled to the top of his lungs, “ GET OUTTTT!”
Their footsteps scrambled out the door faster than immigrants crossing the border, which meant they got the picture.
Dante sighed and leaned on a knee to peek under the bed. “Shawn? Are you okay?” I don’t know if he could see my face, but I shook my head. “What happened? Why were they chasing you?”
I bit my lip, contemplating if I should tell him or not. It's so embarrassing, but I gotta tell somebody. If I'm gonna live with those two in the house, someone needs to be aware of their sexual tendencies! “T-They were trying to gang RAPEme...” I said, shuddering with trepidation.
The young man froze. “You're lying.”
“I'm serious, Dante! That dirty little curr was humping me while the cat was playing with my legs!” His lips quivered and he pulled his head out. He let out a long, wheezing cough before breaking out with laughter. My left eye twitched in frustration. “What the?! How is that funny?!”
“Hahaha, i-it’s not...” He chortled, “ It’s HELLLARIOUS!!!”
“That’s not funny you prick! I bet if you almost got homo sexually wrecked by someone it wouldn’t be so funny, huh?”
“And you said the pussycat was trying to get some pussy too?! Haha, I guess it ain’t no fun if the homies can’t have none!”
My mouth twisted uncomfortably from his corny pun. Suddenly, I don't even feel angry anymore. Just... dissapointed. I thought he was gonna give me a good reason to curse him out. "Dante... you're such a dork for that..."
“What the hell is going on here?!” Dad erupted abruptly as he launched in the room. “Why did I see the pets chasing Shawn? Where is he anyways? And why do I keep hearing the word 'rape' being thrown around?!”
“H-He’s hiding under the bed, hehe, ” Dante replied, still visibly chuckling.
I saw the man’s face peer through the sheets. “Shawn?”
“Y-yes...”
“What happened? Did they hurt you?”
“Not physically...”
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, man... it’s disturbing,” I muttered, covering my face with my hooves. Dante meanwhile was still cracking up on my behalf.
“Will you shut the hell up you immature deadbeat!” He finally snapped at him. “And Shawn... Why did you go to the basement in the first place?” I just blinked, opting out to respond. “Tell me! What made you go to the basement when I told you to stay put? Huh?”
If I told him why, he’ll kill me. I’m good.
“I... I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to... roam around a little bit.”
“Roam around? What? Get out from under there right now and talk to me like a man!”
Suddenly, two more sets of footsteps traveled into the room. Thank God. Saved by the bell once again! “What’s going on? Why are you yelling at the bed, Kane?” A female voice muttered, except this time it wasn’t Katie’s.
Ohhhh shit, not her! She is gonna freak!
“Shawn was being chased by your ‘beautiful’ pets,” Dad snarled.
“Excuse me?!” She huffed, offense draining her tone,“ What does those two have to do with any of this! And what do you mean they were chasing Shawn? That makes no sense. ”
“Mom, you've got a lot of catching up to do,” Dante said monotonously.
“Yeah a lotttt,” Katie added for emphasis.
“W-What are you talking about? Kane, what are they talking about?”
“Shawn, get out from underneath the bed right now,” he ordered. I covered my face. Oh man, why they have to put me on the spot like this?! Why can’t I just meet everyone in natural way for once?!
“Underneath the bed? Why is Shawn underneath the bed?” Mom muttered. “How can he even fit under there?”
“SHAWN!!!”
“Alright Alright!” I growled in annoyance. Goddamn, he’s like pubic hair! Always on my dick!
“Who said that?!” Mom gasped out. “Is that coming from under the bed? Who’s voice is that? What the hell is going on?!”
I sighed and once again felt the burden of revealing myself to her weight down on my shoulders. I crawled from underneath the bed and stood with the best posture I could on four feet, or four hooves. If she’s gonna see me like this, I’m not gonna look like a wreck. I’m gonna stand with the confidence she knows the ‘human’ me for. "Hi, Mom."
Mom’s eyes scintillated with shock the moment she saw me. “Oh my god... did that little toy pony just move? And talk?!”
“I’m not a toy pony, Mom... I’m a live one... a live animated one,” I joked. Yes, I made sure to add a joke in the sentence because I’m the only one in the house with that consistent, corny humor. “And yes..., I’m Shawn.”
“S-Shawn?” She breathed out helplessly. I nodded. "S-stop lying! You're not Shawn! You're just a toy programmed to say that!" Her head quickly whipped to her husband. "Tell me this is just a prank, Kane! Tell me she really isn't my son! Tell me... TELL ME!" she shouted while pounding on his chest.
"No! I'm not telling you because that is Shawn!" he grunted, pulling her hands away. "And stop punching me! That hurts!"
She turned back to me. "Shawn... is that... really you?"
"I swear to your dead grandparents it's me..." I expected her to say something else, but all she did was stare at me, not blinking once. My mouth twisted uncomfortably. Oh boy... I hope I didn’t turn her into a mannequin!
I looked at her keenly, trying to extract her thoughts from her blank countenance. Sadly, it was blank, so I couldn’t really tell. She could be happy, sad, disgusted, frustrated, angry... or even jealous that I'm a pony! Long stretch... but still, that shows how open it is.
Her eyes suddenly started fidgeting, and her mouth formed a tiny circle in anticipation to say something. However, her eyes slowly closed and she started to fall backwards. Oh shit, she fainted!
Dad luckily came from behind and scooped her body in his arms, stopping the fall.
My bedroom was getting a little too emo sexual, and everyone was hungry, so we relocated to the best place to satiate everyone: The dining room.
Mom was awake now and despite calming down, she was still uneasy from the whole transformation. She also didn’t like the fact I didn’t tell her as soon as possible. Luckily she didn't dwell on it. She also asked me why the animals were chasing me. I didn't tell her the real reason obviously and simply told her to keep them away from me at all costs. She didn’t like my vagueness at all, but seemed to get the message.
Now sitting at the table, we waited as Dad served the plates. He did the cooking today since Mom just fainted recently, but by the smell of it, it seems like he’s doing a good job. When he served the plates I took a few moments to study mine. It was nothing special but hot damn did it look it! Waffles, scrambled eggs, grits, and bacon. I know I probably shouldn’t be eating meat because a lot of fanfics claim ponies are vegetarian and shit, but who’s to say I have to be vegetarian? If it tastes good, I’m eating it.
My stomach started to rumble as the appetizing aroma traveled to my nostrils. I grinned and reached for my fork. Instead of grasping it with my fingers however, I accidentally bumped it away, making it clang against my glass of orange juice. Huh?
I frowned and looked at my fing- Oh crap, I forgot I don't have fingers. “Goddammit,” I huffed under my breath while lightly pounding the table.
“Shawn, watch your mouth,” Mom muttered.
"But I just said Godd-"
"Don't use His name in vain!"
I rolled my eyes. “My fault... damn!" She frowned. "Sorry, Mom, but I'm just mad I can't eat my food.”
“Why not?”
I frowned and held my hooves in front of my face. “Becauseeee I have no hands! I can't hold anything like this!”
“I see...” she muttered.
“Why don't you just stuff your face in the plate?” Dante suggested.
“Are you serious? Just so I could get syrup in my fur?” Dante shrugged and continued to eat. I sighed and threw my head back in resignation. “I give up. Whoever wants my food can have it.” I scooted my chair from underneath the table and primed to jump down.
“Where do you think you're going?” Mom asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Upstairs. Maybe that way I won't have to watch you guys e-"
“No you aren't,” she broke in, getting up from her chair. I gave her a baffled look as she moved from her side of the table to mine. She grabbed my chair by the top hedges and forcefully pushed it back under the table.
“What are you doing, Mom?” Katie asked.
Mom snatched the fork off the table and plucked it firmly into the stack of waffles, grabbing a knife with her other hand to cut a small sized slice by the end. “Open up,” she commanded.
I cringed. “W-What?”
“Am I speaking to a baby? Here comes the choo choo train say ah!” She said while slowly moving the fork towards my mouth. I tried to whack it out of her hands, but her quick reflexes prevailed.
“Get away from me!” I said while flinching back.
“You need to eat, Shawn! Now stop being difficult before I change my mind!”
“No! I’m not gonna be spoon fed like a-"
The moment ‘a’ escaped my lips, she forced the fork in mouth. My eyes popped out and I held my cheeks in like a blow fish, resisting to swallow it.
Oh my god, brain, she’s forcefully feeding me!
YOU BETTER CHEW THAT!
But Brai-
CHEW IT, PUSSY!
I whimpered and chewed it slightly.
NOW SWALLOW IT!
I swallowed most of it, although a small chunk still hung on my tongue.
NOW IF IT'S TOO NASTY, SPIT BACK AT ME!
Thankfully, I swallowed all of it, and hot damn was it tasty! Mom smiled as she saw my fluctuating reaction's positive shift. “There... was that so hard?”
I rolled my eyes. I hate being spoon fed like a baby, but whatever. This is just for now anyways. I opened my mouth and continued to let her feed me. It was freaking embarrassing! I had to deal with Katie ‘d'awwing’ to Dante smirking like an ass wipe, to Dad just staring at me awkwardly! Either way, I enjoyed the meal and the meat didn't have any adverse effects either. Just goes to show you that bronies be pulling that ‘ponies can’t eat meat’ crap out of their ass. But then according to the show, they can’t. But it’s just a show, right? I bet they hide many things off-screen. My butthole is one thing.
After Mom finished feeding me, I quickly sipped my drink, which was easier since all I had to do pick up my glass is use my hooves like they were two giant pliers. A large belch erupted from me as I finished. “Mmmmmm, that was good!”
Dante nodded. “Yeah, that was pretty good. Not bad, Pops. You put Mom to shame with your cooking. She should retire and give you the key to the kitchen.”
“Dante, how could you!” She gasped in mock offense.
Everybody began laughing, even Dad, which was rare because ever since I transformed he's been quiet. In fact, he said nothing during the entire meal. All he did was grill me like I was a terrorist or something. I didn't look at him directly because I wanted to see if he was gonna stop, but the hog was in full-on creep mode today! Maybe he’s still thinking about taking me to the hospital?
I shivered and turned to Mom, smiling gently. “Well, thanks for feeding me, Mom, but just know I won't need you next time.”
Mom stroked a string of her black hair from her face and sighed. “ I hope so too, honey. I'm just so shocked you turned into this. A part of me believes it's a dream... But then it seems way too real. It's so... surreal. But no matter what, you're still my child.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I mean, maybe I can get used to you like this? You’re so cute and cuddly,” she cooed.
I cringed. “Cute? I’m not cute! I’m supposed to be handsome.”
“No you aren't,” Dante cut in. “ I wouldn't call some anorexic, Eminem look-alike handsome at all.”
“Man, don't hate me cause I'm beautiful. Maybe if you got rid of that yee-yee Tony Hawk haircut of yours,” I pointed toward his messy mop of black hair, “you’d have some females in your phone!”
“I hope they aren’t as slow as the ones you talk to.”
“At least they're not whales.”
Everybody broke out with laughter again. I gotta admit my day has gotten a lot better. I know it's still early and a lot of adversity is bound to happen, but moments like these show that certain things in life can never change.
When the laughter died down, Dad chose the perfect opportunity to speak. “Soo... are you ready to go to the hospital, Shawn?”
My ears contracted at the mention of hospital. Andddddd this is where the adversity begins. “I said are you ready to go the hospital,” he repeated, although he knew I heard him the first time. “I gave you a chance to eat, so there shouldn’t be any excuses now.”
“Kane, what do you mean by ‘hospital’? What are you guys talking about?” Mom asked, shooting him a quizzical glare.
“Nothing, Mom. Dad thinks Shawn has a disease when he really doesn’t,” Katie answered with a roll of the eyes.
“And how do you know that, Katie?” Dad said while leaning in to her, which she uncomfortably twitched back. “Are you a doctor or something? Do you have your medical degree already? Because if so I'll take your word for it.”
“Why are you being so nasty? It's her opinion! At least give her a chance to back it up,” Mom said in her defense.
“There is nothing to back up! Katie just doesn't want Shawn to go to the hospital because she likes him like this!”
“What the hell are you talking about!?” We snapped in unison.
“Watch your mouth! And don't act like I'm stupid, I know what's going on.” He turned to me and jabbed a finger my way. “Shawn, you think you're so smart, huh boy? ”
“W-What are you t-talking about?” I sputtered, my ears contracting from his sudden offensive tone.
“Cut the shit! You were hiding from me in the basement so I wouldn't take you to the hospital!”
"FU-" I bit my lip with all my grit to prevent the volatile swear word from bursting out. Crap, he actually figured it out! I thought he would forget!
“That’s right only reason you went into the basement earlier today was to hide from me so I didn’t have to take you to the hospital!”
“T-that’s not true,” I stuttered, “I was just looking for my coat!”
“Yeah, you are looking for your coat in the basement when it’s like 70 degrees outside. Plus you have a whole layer of fur covering you right now!” he snorted, dissecting my bullshit with ease.
Jesus Christ, you’re worse at lying than Pinocchio.
“Ugh, I can’t take this anymore,” Katie announced while shooting out her seat. “You guys are really irritating!” She held her hands up and slowly walked out the room.
My eyes widened in regret. Shit, I really needed Katie’s help to drive my point home! Well, fine.
“I-It’s not a disease...” I started.
“How do you know that? What are you trying to say it is then? Magic?” He asked, although it was probably a rhetorical question. I didn’t care though..
“I know what a disease is. There’s autism, cancer, hepatitis, gonorrhea, and super gonorrhea; but there is no way in hell this is a disease! Magic is more believable than that!”
“But Shawn, it’s the only possibility. Why else would you turn into a pony?” Mom asked .
“No, it can’t be a disease! I had no symptoms of this before today even started, I didn’t eat anything weird recently, sleep with anyone new, or go around any places with heavy radiation!”
I looked at Dad and pointed at him furiously. “Stop putting things in people’s head when you know nothing!”
“Listen, kid, don’t even try to argue me down because I’m more versed in this stuff than you!” He chuckled condescendingly. “You’re only sixteen while I’ve been on the planet long enough to see diseases develop over time slowly with none to any indications! And you do know a symptom is an indication of a disease, right? You are the symptom, Shawn! Now stop beating around the bush and just tell me the real reason!”
I grimaced. He’s right about that. He’s completely right. I never thought about it like that. Technically this could be a disease... but still, a disease that transforms people into a fictional ponies? Ugh, this is so weird!
“Relax, Kane!” Mom said while putting her hands up. “Maybe sh- I mean he is just nervous about seeing the doctors like this?”
“That’s not even the reason, Mom,” I said softly. “Think about it... what can a doctor possibly do? I’m a walking enigma... they wouldn’t have the first clue what to do with me! If they know nothing about animals, what makes you think they will know anything about the freak that I am? Let’s just take a second to realize that I’m literally a pony out of a freaking cartoon! That's some Illuminati stuff right there!
“Plus, if I go to the hospital, you might not see me anymore. For a while anyways. Doctors are persistent and will try to get money any way they can. The government will. They will try to run experiments on me and make me some lab rat! Do you really want that, Dad? Would you risk that happening to me, even if it’s useless? Or would you rather wait and see if a cure pops up naturally?”
“I would take the chance, the sooner the better,” he replied nonchalantly.
Time seemed to slow down as an abstract bullet ripped through my chest. I blinked, clogged my ears out a little, and soon demanded clarification to the top of lungs. “...WHAT?!” Everyone in the room seemed to share my sentiment and gave him a dubious look.
He raised an eyebrow and turned his head. “Why are y’all looking at me like that?! I’m sorry, but there is no in between here! I know who Shawn is. I brought Shawn into this world and I raised him; there is no way in hell that that colorful alien looking horse-thingy is Shawn! I mean, look at him! He’s not even a ‘he’ anymore! This is some bullshit!”
“Kane!” Mom scolded.
“No! This is bullshit, and it’s gay! If that was me, I wouldn’t stand being like that for more then a second! That’s the problem with the world now: People like to sugar coat everything and make it seem like it’s alright. But, that’s why sooner or later we’re gonna have a faggot win the presidency!”
“Kane! Stop it!” Mom shrilled while grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.” That’s enough! Just stop talking, please!”
My breathing turned hollow as my muscles tensed up. I dropped to the floor and walked forward, unconsciously forming a triangle formation between Mom, Dad, and I. “I can’t believe you,” I muttered, trying to control my voice from cracking. “After everything that happened, you haven’t supported me once at all ... ”
“Not support you? I’m the only one who suggested a way to help you, so don’t give me that crap!”
I took another step forward, now virtually underneath him. “No you didn’t. I already told you why I didn’t want to go, but you still didn't listen! You’re so quick to tell me that I’m ‘enjoying’ this and I ‘wanted’ it... but to tell you truth, I don’t! I almost killed myself because of this!” My eyes started to water, but I quickly blinked the incoming tears back. “It’s not my fault at all! I think this is just as 'gay' as you do, but I can’t do anything about it! And I won’t either if it means I have to be a subject of experimentation! And if you think I’ll do it just because I know you can’t stand the way I ‘look’, then you really are a pathetic drunk!”
His head reared back as he gasped in surprise. I don’t know if I angered him, opened his eyes, or shut up him for good, but I didn’t care. I’m just glad he got to hear how I feel about this. Suddenly, his eyebrows furrowed and he lunged at me with breakneck speed. “Why you little-”
Luckily Mom jumped in between him and stood in between us. “That’s enough! Both of you shut up! Let’s get something straight here: Nobody is going to the hospital! I don’t know what happened to Shawn, but we’re not going to draw any unnecessary attention right now! Maybe it’s a disease, maybe it isn’t, but regardless, Shawn isn't going anywhere!” She turned to my ‘father’. “Kane, I understand you’re scared about this... so am I, but blowing your temper isn’t helping!” Her gaze then settled on me. “And Shawn, you need to apologize right now!”
I pouted. “Why should I?”
“What?”
“I said why should I!" I repeated, albeit louder. “You never told him to even though he was being insensitive and tried to tell me I liked being like this! He should apologize!”
“I don’t have to apologize! This is my house, and if you don’t like what I have to say, you can get the fuck out!” he shot back.
“Oh yeah?” I challenged with a haughty smirk.
“Shh shh shh!” she hushed fervently, nearly hopping on her feet. “There is no need for that! There is no need! Shawn, just stop being petty and apolo-”
“No, I’m not,” I asserted. “I’m tired of him. It’s been like this forever. He never listens to anybody and always thinks he’s right! Well, I’m not taking it no more! Say I’m being petty if you want, but it is what it is!” I turned to the man in question. “To me, it doesn’t sound like you care... it sounds like you’re such an ignorant bigot that you can’t stand looking at me for more then a few fucking seconds!” His mouth gaped open as I left him dazed and confused.
“SHUT UP! Just shut up and go upstairs right now!” Mom yelled in my ear. “Go upstairs before I really let him take you to the hospital!”
Feeling satisfied, I turned around and calmly walked out the room. Before I left, I turned to look at his face one last time. He was fuming. His breathing was erratic, his knuckles were beating with veins, and if it wasn’t for Mom sluggishly holding him back, he probably would’ve knocked me out by now.
I sighed. Yup, I’m officially walking on thin ice right now. Even though I feel good about finally letting myself be heard, I also feel... anxious as hell.
