Fidanity

by SoloBrony

First published

Fidanity (fih-DAN-uh-tee); noun, singular; the unique emotion experienced when one approaches someone that they are close to with a topic they believe or hope will be agreed upon, with the concern that if not, one or both parties may feel betrayed.

Fidanity (fih-DAN-uh-tee); noun, singular; the unique emotion experienced when one approaches someone that they are close to with a topic they believe or hope will be agreed upon, with the concern that if not, one or both parties may feel betrayed.


Etym., Latin fid, from fidei, meaning belonging to trust or faith, + an, from anxi(us), meaning anxious, + ity, anglicized Latin suffix meaning state of. Literally "The state of trust's unease"

Synonyms: fear, doubt, anxiety

Antonyms: confidence, certainty, serenity


(This story works as a stand-alone, but is also part of a larger continuity of stories. For a full explanation of how it fits in with those stories, click here.)

Fidanity

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The concerns that had been faintly bothering me all day were starting to grow more intense.

This just doesn't seem like her at all...
                                               Celestia's not usually so rude. I've been waiting-
                                                                                          I'm sure she's just really busy! Not rude!

I shook my head, trying to clear away the mental debate. It was hard to remain patient, under the circumstances; I had been summoned to Canterlot Castle to meet with Celestia on some kind of business, without any details as to what to expect, and then, after rushing over as quickly as I could on the idea that it might be something very important, I had found myself waiting in her antechamber for over an hour.

Perhaps the issue she summoned me for is also what's delaying her? That's not a good sign...

As I fretted over the possibility that Equestria was facing some new disaster, I heard the door slide open gently, and a pony I recognized as one of Celestia's aides poked her head out, scanning the room and locating me quickly.

“Celestia will see you now.”
                                     About time...
                                                      No more grumbling! Be polite! Consider the situation she might be in!

I nodded my head graciously as I slid from my seat, acting for all the world like I had only just arrived, and nothing was wrong at all.

“Thank you. I do hope everything is alright.”

The aide simply nodded, a slightly uneasy, placating smile forming as she trotted past me towards the exit. To my surprise, I heard Princess Luna's voice from within the audience chamber.

“Good luck, sister.”

Which was promptly followed by her entering the antechamber, and crossing it much as the aide had. She nodded to me on her way past, though her expression was neutral. As the exit door slid shut, I realized that the antechamber and audience chamber were probably empty, save for Celestia.

They left to give us privacy... and 'Good luck, sister'?
                                                                       Not good signs. Not good signs!

I found myself starting to shake slightly from the building anxiety, and so I paused, taking a deep breath and gently letting it out. As far as I knew, nothing was wrong, and I had faith that Celestia would see to it that, come what may, things would be alright. With new resolve, I marched into the audience chamber.

I've faced serious threats before. I can't let baseless anxiety get to me.
                                                                         Except that expression Luna gave me...
                                                                                                                    She can be kinda-
                                                                                                                                        Stop being rude, Cadance!

As I walked into the audience chamber, I spotted Celestia resting on a red cushion, a table laden with tea supplies in front of her. She smiled gently and waved me to the opposite cushion. She looked perfectly serene, like all was right with the world.

She's nervous. What is that tea?
                                               Chamomile blend.
                                                       So not only is she nervous...
                                                                                She's also worried I'm going to be upset.
                                                                                                                    She must have bad news for me.

“I do apologize for keeping you waiting, Cadance.”
                 THANK you!
                                   But WHY did she keep me waiting?

“It's no trouble, Celestia. I saw Princess Luna on my way in; I know you try to make time for her.”

Celestia nodded gratefully, taking a sip of her tea as I sat down. Ironically, her look of relief betrayed more of her underlying tension than her previous expression had.

“I do, especially when she wishes to discuss official matters.”

Translation: We disagreed on how to handle something, and I didn't want her to feel put-out.
                                                                            Something... related to me?
                                                                                                                     Probably.

A somewhat mischievous grin found its way to my face, despite my slight rising sense of anxiety.

“You two were debating how to break the news to me?”

Celestia paused slightly, raising an eyebrow. The expression looked almost scrutinizing, until I realized she was actually just confused.

“What news?”
         Uh oh. Trying to be clever might have been a mistake, there.
                             Should change the focus of the conversation, quick!
                                                  Was there something else I could have commented on?
                                                                              It's good that she and Luna are working together so well...

“You know, whatever it is you brought me here for. Luna's usually asleep at this time of day, so I figured you must have gone out of your way to get her opinion, make sure she knows it's appreciated.”

Celestia paused slightly, thinking. It was only momentary, but it spoke volumes.

She didn't intentionally take the time to chat with Luna?
                            So Luna really did come to object to something, then?
                                                         Or maybe the disagreement just started off badly...

Celestia smiled gently, sipping her tea again.

“Thank you, Cadance. I do try.”

I quietly poured myself some of the tea, and sipped at it, waiting for her to take the lead. After a few moments of silence passed, I realized that Celestia had probably expected me to engage in pleasantries as I usually would. As I did a mental scramble to think of something to say, she spoke up.

“I suppose you've been fretting over why I asked you to come here.”
                                           Fretting? I haven't been-
                                                                    Oh come on. Yes I have.
                                                                                              Is it really so obvious, though?

I shrugged a bit, taking another sip of the tea.

“I have been pretty curious about it. Is everything alright?”

“Yes, things are fine. I didn't mean to worry you.”
                                       She seems to feel a little guilty.

I nodded, setting down the tea.

“Don't worry about it. I understand how these things can be. So, what did you want to talk about?”
                                                                                   Understatement!

Celestia shuffled uneasily before she spoke. That little gesture did nothing good for my anxiety; even when the worst disasters had struck Equestria, Celestia had stayed unmoved, discussing them with perfect calm.

“I actually wanted to request a service of you.”
                                                     A service? Why is she so uneasy about that?
                                                                                  Wait, my specialty is in spreading and encouraging love...
                                                                                                           Is Celestia in love or something?!

I stiffened for a second, and then I felt that mischievous grin returning. Even if my guess was wrong...

“Of me, specifically.”

Celestia nodded. I looked at her with a bit of a smirk.

“Oh my, Celestia. Who's the lucky pony?”

Celestia looked sincerely confused for a moment, before she cracked a smirk of her own.

Okay, so not that.

“Cute, Cadance. While what I require of you is related to your status as the Princess of Love, it isn't quite so personal.”

Then why all the unease?

“You know I'm happy to do what I can for Equestria.”

So spit it out already!
                     Hey, now. Don't get riled up.

Celestia nodded, looking a little stiff.

“I do. I need you to check up on a couple in Canterlot... soon to be wed.”
                                                           Now that's unusual. I've never been asked for something like this.
                                                                                     Almost sounds like spying.
                                                                                                                           Celestia wouldn't do that.

“Check up on them... to see if their love is genuine?”

“Yes.”

“That seems a bit unusual. I mean... I think I can do that, but isn't it sort of...”

I waved a hoof around, looking for the right word.

“It may sound a bit invasive, yes, but I need to be sure of the safety of my subject.”
                                     That's the word.                                                            Singular?

“How is safety a concern?”

“... One of the... ponies involved is secretly a changeling.”
                        Yes? YES?                                    Wait, what?!

What?! A changeling?! Why hasn't Celestia already arrested them?!
                Celestia wants me to investigate a changeling?!
                                            Despite...                          To see if their love is genuine?!
                                                 my history with them?!                                          Of course it's not genuine!

Changelings feed off of love! Why would Celestia knowingly allow a changeling to-

“A-and... if I conclude their love is genuine, you intend to... let them be married?”

I was doing my level best to speak calmly despite the storm of thoughts in my mind. I could tell it wasn't entirely successful, what with the hoof-waving and stammering.

“... Yes.”

This is insane! Changelings are, like...
              Has she lost it?!                    The opposite of everything I stand for!
                    They're dangerous!                 They take somepony's identity, trick their loved ones...
                        They're horrible!                     They turn love against those who have it!

“So they're infiltrating Canterlot again?! What makes you think this isn't a setup for another invasion?!”

“Cadance, that's exactly what I want you to find out.”
                                                                            Wait, what? Oh!

Oh, that makes sense! If their love for the pony is genuine, chances are they won't cause trouble!
                                                                                 But wait, that only covers one problem!

“What about the pony, though?! You're just going to let them unwittingly get married to a... a love-feeding bug monster?!”

Celestia stared at me for a few moments, a pained expression taking hold. It wasn't what I had expected, and it made me think back over what I had said.

“Sorry, I didn't mean that! I know you wouldn't let your subjects come to harm, it's just... you said you would let them marry, if their love was genuine, though!”

“And I intend to, yes.”

“I don't... I don't understand. What about the pony?”

“She seems to be in love. You would be a better judge of that, though.”

“But if she doesn't know-!”

“We think she's aware of it, actually. It's hard to be sure.”
                                                  She KNOWS they're a changeling?! And she's still in love with them?!
                                                                                               A black bug-pony with flat eyes...
                                                                                                                      With holes in their hooves...

I felt myself shudder involuntarily.

“Cadance... I knew this would be hard for you, but I hope you understand. You should know better than anyone that love will find a way, regardless of the differences between individuals.”

I stared up at her, thinking over what she said, for some time. Silence reigned in the little chamber as I felt these two conflicting ideas struggle with one another; on the one hoof, she was right about love, and I knew it. On the other, I had trouble reconciling my memories of changelings – crashing my wedding, trying to steal my husband, invading the city, and so on – with the idea of romance.

“... I'll do it.”

Celestia sighed in relief, some tension I hadn't noticed she had going out of her wings and shoulders.

“Thank you, Cadance. I know it may seem strange, but... I think once you see them together, you'll understand.”

I nodded, a faint smile forming.

“And really... isn't that always how it is?”