All 100 girls I have shipped Spike with go to war with each other!
A powerful deity arrives to tell the female characters that there is not enough Spike to go around for 100, so a battle royale to be Spike's only girl begins! Who will win? Who will die?
We find ourselves in a dark cave where a devious creature plans to cause suffering. He had Spikey black hair, a black t-shirt, a humanoid figure, demon wings & claws!
"Hmm...I got everything I need to bring my Queen back, alls I need left is chaos where bodily harm comes to those who get effected, but I wonder what I should do..." Then he stepped on a physical copy of Pimp Spike's Swag volume 4! After reading the conviniently placed book, his eyes went from a circle shape to a cross shape! "Hmm...yes, this will do, as these foolish ladies fight for his love, I shall absorb the chaotic energy and use it to bring back my queen! Have fun getting married on Doomsday! Muahaha! Now, let's see here...aha! An adress book, where are all of these conveniently placed books coming from? Bah nevermind, atleast I got incredible luck right now, I shouldn't waste it talking to myself!"
The Mane 6 were at their thrones discussing an upcoming festival.
"Okay, now that we have written the letter, hopefully we sway the mayor to let Rarity & Pinkie co-host the fair." Twilight told them.
Everyone agreed.
"Has anyone seen Spike?" Asked Rarity.
"He's with the Crusaders." Applejack answered.
"With the Crusaders? They might persuade him to dump you girls so they can have him all to their selves!" Said a voice.
"Who's there? Show yourself so I can kick your ass!" Rainbow Dash demanded.
Then Xeenam appeared on their round table. "Oh, you don't wanna kick my butt, you should be kicking your friend's flanks!"
"What in the...what are you talking about?" said Twilight.
"Oh, it's just that, a guy, one guy with a harem of 100, that doesn't seem like a fair share! I say you 100 should have a fight to the death to see who'll be Spike's only girl!"
"Fight to the death?!" They all gasped.
"Why to the death?" Pinkie asked with anger in her eyes.
"So the others don't come back for revenge of course!" Xeenam replied with a smile. "Sorry, but this is the only way, I have already taken Spike someplace safe and have told everyone else that it's time for war!"
"Gasp, you brute!" gasped Rarity.
"How could you?" Said Fluttershy.
"We all love Spike, why would you make us fight instead of share?" Said Pinkie
Xeenam just ignored them.
"Hope you're all ready for a fight! I can practically hear them all readying their weapons, armor and skills!"
Meanwhile just outside the room, Captain Deezutra, Captain of Twilight's Royal Guard over heard Xeenam's voice, then he un-sheathed his sword, then kicked the double doors open!
"Halt Xeenam!"
"Shogun Deezutra? You're here too? Ah well, I am sure even you can stop what's happening right now!"
"What do you mean, I demand to know!"
"He's started a war with Spike's harem!" Said Applejack.
"Yes, and it's too late Twilight, even though you're always a 'great' voice of reason, they will not listen to reason this time!"
"Not even Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence?"
"Not even them, oh that reminds me, Celestia wanted sent me to give you this message: You're going down Twilight! She's gonna fight, she's stepping off of her thrown and stepping into the battlefield! Are you prepared to strike down your own teacher? What about Twilight Velvet? What about Cadence? Also, what are you others thinking? because you'll be fighting great friends & family as well, not just that you'll have to end them to win this!"
The mane 6 gasped.
"You can't make us do that!" Said Pinkie.
"Sorry, but there also comes a huge price if you refuse to fight!" Xeenam replied
"What would that be?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"I take Spike's life! Now, enough talking I must go & get the snacks I need to witness the massacre with! Ciao." Then Xeenam disappeared.
"What are we going to do?" Asked Rarity.
"I don't wanna fight!" Said Fluttershy "Especially not our friends!"
"I don't know, but it seems we have no other choice, Captain Deezutra!"
"Yes Princess Twilight?"
"Will you aid us?"
"I will, I'm going to stop that monster Xeenam, and end the war before any of you & any of them get hurt!"
"Alright, let's do this!" Rainbow Dash blurted out.
Meanwhile in another version of Equestria...one creature watches as the 2nd to last creature in that world dies.
"Sorry Claire, but I'm not going to make it! Don't be sad, I'll use the last of my magic to send you to another version of this world, where the disaster never happened!"
Then the dying creature opened up a green portal with a black spiral.
"Goodbye." The other creature who was tearing up. Then she leapt into the portal just before the other creature died.
We are at a huge grassless field overlooking the ocean, the animals who actually do inhabit the place retreat to shelter for they sence a war on the way! Princess Celestia arrives with her personal army, and Captain Querxov, the nephew of Deezutra. Luna arrives with her troops as well, then Cadence with her army and Flash Sentry as drummer boy. Then everyone else came as well, with assistance, weapons, and bunch of useful gear. Then Xeenam appeared with Spike in a golden cage.
"Hello everyone! I know, you may not like me for kidnapping this midget pimp, but honestly, I see no way for you 100 to share him equally. so please, if you are the last lovely standing, he's all yours! (Not just that but the misery I can get out of you bitches shall allow me to kill you during your last moments with this guy) So, good luck out there, and as they say in Death Battle...FIGHT!!" Then he teleported to a hill to watch from a safe distance.
"How could you?" Asked Spike.
"Hey, at least you'll know who loves you the most, hehehe."
Meanwhile during the fight...
"Deezutra, now's your chance to end it." Suggested Twilight.
"Yes, now that Xeenam is distracted by the fight, he will not notice my suprise attack from behind. Keep-on fighting."
It was mass chaos! Celestia vs Sunset Satan, Eris vs. Trixie & the Shimmer 6, Derpy vs Mayor Mare, Smarty Pants vs Ponytron, Mulia Mild using the Shadow Clone Jutsu, Fluttermena vs Pinkamena, Philomena temporarily blinding Lady Tyra with the solar flare! Derpy & Crackle in a slap fight patty cake! Lightning Dust using your cousin as a baseball bat! Spitfire putting poor Applebloom in a full Nelson! Winona & Rova chasing Opal, Diamond Tiara getting the shit beaten out of her by Scootaloo & Babs Seed. Octavia went from a cello bow, to a bow & arrows! What the hell, pan the camera back to...there, stop! Why is that angel with black wings smiling & waving?
"I'm an angel of death." He responded with a chipper voice.
Okay that was very weird. Anyways, as Deezutra sneaked closer and closer to an unsuspecting Xeenam, a portal opened-up!
"(Must be a monster that was he summoned! Xeenam, no wonder we are arch enemies!)" Deezutra though while unsheathing his blade! Then a creature that looked like a cross between a pony & dragon emerged from the vortex. She saw the destruction going on right in front of her.
"(Another world at war? Why must this happen everywhere I go?)" She thought. Then a sword was held to her face. "Whoa!"
"Who are you? Are you working for Xeenam?!"
"Who's Xeenam? Also, what's going on?"
"Oh good, you're not working for my arch enemy! Anyways, Xeenam has managed to cause someone's harem of 100 to fight to the death! If they don't fight, said being will die!"
"How do we stop them?" She asked.
"By killing Xeenam, he's over there lounging, completely unaware."
"I'll help you, I've already way too much destruction & misery in my world."
"Thank you, I'm Deezutra, captain of Princess Twilight Sparkle's Royal Guard."
"I'm Crystal Clarity, but my friends call me Claire, and did you just say Princess Twilight Sparkle's Royal Guard?"
"Yes, did she exist in your world?"
"I'll explain after we put an end to the war."
Meanwhile in Xeenam's point of view...
"Yes, the misery energy, flow into me! (I'm so close to resurrecting my queen!)"
Spike watches on as Xeenam gets stronger. As Deezutra & Claire get closer, Claire sees something familiar about Spike.
"Slash Blast!" Deezutra announced while performing the attack.
"Gah!"
"Now's your chance, take the cage & run Crystal Clarity!"
"Okay!" So she did.
"Grrr...sneaky trick, but you're too late I've already absorbed more than enough misery energy, and I'll use that excess power to do this!" Then Xeenam raises his claw then points it to the war! "Hey ladies, quit killing each other and instead become my personal army and kill this guy for me!"
Then they turned to look at Deezutra with flashing amber eyes!
"Kill Deezutra!" They all repeated.
"See yah later sucker, I have something I gotta do, so bye!" Then he disappeared.
"Coward!" Then a lot of shots where fired at Deezutra, but luckily he used a shield spell to block! "I'll save you all, hopefully!"
Meanwhile...
Crystal Clarity freed Spike from the cage.
"Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm fine." Spike replied.
"Oh thank goodness that you're safe & sound...dad."
"Spike, I am your daughter from across time and space!"
"Then who'd my wife be?"
"Rarity." She told him.
"So that means I'm destined to be with Rarity eh? (Guess I'll have to break the hearts of the 99 others.)"
"No, I come from an alternate reality, so you will end-up having a foal with somepony else."
"I see...So tell me Crystal Clarity, what was I like when you were growing-up?"
"Very happy, up to the point of embarrassing. Even mom face-hoofs whenever you were doing stupid stuff." Then she snickered a bit.
"Wow, I wonder what I was like waiting for you to be born." Then he looked up, and saw Xeenam flying by. "That jerk! Convincing them all to fight over me!"
Then as soon as Crystal Clarity took a good look at the demon her eyes opened wide. "I...saw him!"
"Wh-what do you mean?"
"I saw Xeenam standing behind the destroyer who killed everyone I loved!" Then she felt complete sadness.
Spike thought fast.
"D-don't cry kiddo, come-on, daddy's here." Then he hugged her.
"(I wonder...my birth father was from that other world, maybe it wont count as incest since I'm not related by his blood but by the blood of the other Spike.)" Claire thought.
*Years ago in Claire's world.*
"Daddy!" Young Crystal Clarity called while running to Spike.
"Hey Claire, how was school?"
"It was great, we learned about what a wedding was like. Mr.Sued shoes even introduced us to his wife!"
"Really? What did Mr.Sued shoes say about marriage?"
"He said that we can only marry someone we love very much when we grow-up, and when I grow-up, I wanna marry you daddy."
"Aww, but sorry sweetie but your mother already has me." Then he kissed her forehead. "Maybe someone you'll really care about will appear soon."
"Okay daddy."
"I was genuinely disappointed from that but that's when I found a guy who's personality is just like your's."
Years later...
*BAM!* *SMACK* *THWACK!*
"Ow! I-I'm sorry babe, I promise I wont turn into your brother every other time we kiss!" Said Prince Illusion, the son of Celestia and Discord.
"I actually enjoyed how he acts like a fool around me, reminded me of you. Unfortunately that's when a dark creature came and ended all of my happiness!"
Months Later...
"It destroyed everything, not even Equestria's most powerful could stop it, even with all of the villians reformed helping us, everyone I knew & loved died in front of my eyes...you, mom, brother, my friends...and Prince illusion."
*Flashback over!*
"Hold-up, you're in love me?"
"Wha? How did you?"
"You were narrating out loud."
"Oh...now that you know about my secret feelings for you father, do you reject...me?"
Then he hugged her.
"S...Spike?"
"Don't worry Claire, since you're that Spike's daughter, but not this Spike's daughter, I guess I could make even more room for another in my harem."
"R...really?"
"Yes."
They were about to kiss but that's when...
"Aww, what a delightfully cute scene...I HATE IT!!!"
"Xeenam? What are you doing here?!" Said Spike.
"I heard that you come from another world right Crystal Clarity?"
"Yes, what's it to you, well it seems the mare I was gonna use for my queen's vessel died from starvation, though I could use you, it's not like you belong in this world!" Then he fired black lightning from his hands, and when it hit Crystal, she got trapped in a black orb. "Now that I got all I need to resurrect my queen..." Then a punch came to his face! "Grunt!" unfortunately he was still keeping his focus with his magic. Then Xeenam, grabbed Spike by the neck with his free arm! "You can be my queen's 1st meal!" Then he flew off back to his cave...but unbeknownst to him, he was being watched.
"I'll stop you, or at least by my uncle some time!" Said Querxov.
So, back to Deezutra trying to free the 100 ladies of Xeenam's influence, he's now surrounded unfortunately, but then he finds his 2nd wind!
"(I bet I can free them of the spell simply by knocking them out!)" That's when Mulia started throwing shurikens!
Then Deezutra spun his blade real fast blocking the attacks, and knocked Mulia unconscious with the pommel of his sword! As soon as she fell asleep, the misery energy flowed out of her.
"I knew it." Then he knocked out 19 more, freeing the darkness from their bodies! Just then Celestia, Luna & Cadence charged! "Raging burst!" Then a pulse of energy bounced them back and then Deezutra began moving super fast to knock the 3 of them out! Then the CMC, Pinkamena, Surprise, and the 2 Cheerleader ponies felt the pain of being K.O'd! Then Trixie, Sunset Shimmer, and Sunset Satan all fired a combined beam! Then he began running as the beam chased him! Knocking out another 25 before it dissipated! Then Sunsets friends from the Shimmer 6 ran at him from different directions. Then he dodged causing the collision to knock them all out instantly.
"40 left? this'll be easier than I thought!"
That's when Milf's tried to take him out, Cup Cake slamming him into a huge cake, then Twilight Velvet & Cookie Crumbles Then covered the cake in rocks in an attempt to copy Gaara's Sand Burial! That's when within the cake, Deezutra cut through with such force and burst out from the top! Then he kicked the 3 milfs in the head, knocking 'em out! Then the R63's came at him! Deezutra, back flipped over Macareina's buck and with a swift punch, she fell to the floor taking a little nap! He picked-up Barb and rocked her to sleep because she is after all a baby dragon. Blew a dog whistle, hurting Rova's ears, allowing our heroic Shogun to take her down with a headbutt! He deflected Eris's magic beams, making her be K.O.'d by her own magic!
"Nighty night!" She said as she got into her PJ's, got Brutus (Dan's Teddy Bear from Dan vs.), and then fell into bed...hey that's my bed!
Then Deezutra scaled the colossal Lady Tyra and used and explosive spell from his sword on her face to knock her out, causing her to fall with a loud *THUD!*. Which caught Jinx by the hind legs.
"Help, my legs are useless now!"
"Yeah, I know how you feel girl." Said Joe Swanson watching the battle take place on his living room TV.
Then Deezutra knocked Jinx out.
Then Octavia fired her arrows which Deezutra kept on slashing in half! Then on the other side, Vinyl was preparing her Bass Cannon, and that's when it fired! Deezutra dodged and allowed the blast to knockout Octavia! Strange thing, she fired the kind of bases you'd see in baseball! The Deezutra used a lightning spell to destroy the Bass cannon and the explosion sent Vinyl flying but she was still standing, but as soon as she got-up, she was knocked out by the pommel of his sword! Speaking of Pommel, Coco Pommel tripped as she tried to attack, and then she was knocked out on her own! Deezutra kept on knocking them out until the mane 6 were left!
"Twilight, A.J., Fluttershy, Rarity, Dash, Pinkie, come to your freaking senses!"
No response.
"It seems that the spell also clouds judgement and rational thought!"
That's when all 6 Rainbowfied, then fired a powerful beam! At 1st glance they thought they had killed the Shogun, but they were wrong!
"I'm...alive? How?" Then he noticed that he had samurai armor on with the Japanese characters for 'raging flames of the hero's spirit!' was written on his chest plate!
That's when Deezutra's wife appeared. "Do you like it darling? I made it special for you!"
"Really?"
"Yup, now whenever you feel that you're in a pinch, that armor I built shall give you a power-up!"
"You're the best!" Then Deezutra flew at the Mane 6! "This is the power of BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULL SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT!!!" and with hat, he took them down to the floor! The armor then came off of Deezutra and flew back to his wife's lab.
"Now that the misery energy has been extinguished from their bodies, you think you can put bandages on their bumps?"
"Why of course, I'll get my helper bots to assist me right away."
"Good, now I gotta go and defeat Xeenam!"
"Good luck." Then she kissed Deezutra's cheek and like that, he was off!
Spike and Crystal Clarity awoke! Spike was chained by his hands to wall! Claire was chained by her front claws and back hooves to a table!
"Good, the both of you are awake, now I can perform the ritual! 1st, I need to do this!" Then he took one his own claw and dug it right into the pony flesh of Claire!
"Gwaaaah!"
"Hey, don't you dare touch her!"
"Shut-up food!"
"Now that you're bleeding...time for the next part of the ritual, all the misery energy shall flow into this portal, summoning my queen!" Then Xeenam began chanting a phrase which was a mixture of Russian, French, Middle Eastern, and Clingon!
All of a sudden, a pitch black almost oil looking hand was coming out of the portal, but that's when...
*Bang!* after that shot, the hand paused!
"Grah! Who did that?!"
"Me! Querxov, Shogun Deezutra's nephew!"
"Whaaaaaaaat?! A nephew? A mother fucking nephew?! Oh-no, you're not gonna stop me!" Then a fight broke out!
Sadly Querxov's gunmanship was no match for Xeenam's brutality!
*Groan!*
"Hahaha, you couldn't beat me if you tried, I couldn't care less if you were related to that damn Deezutra!"
"I wasn't trying to stop you, just by time till uncle arrives!"
"...And I appreciate your assist Querxov, now go find somewhere safe."
"Sure thing." he agreed as he crawled away!
"Deezutra, you're not going to win, this is my lair, I got home field advantage!"
"Home field advantage yes, but chance of victory...zero chance!" Then a fireball was shot at Xeenam, which he backhanded at Claire!
"Gyah!"
"How dare you?!" Spike said in anger.
"What? it's not like dragons can feel pain from fire can they? oh riiiiiiiiiight, Claire is only half dragon! Hahahahahaha!" The Xeenam was punched in the face! Then he gave Deezutra a good blow to the chest! Then Deezutra slashed with his word, cutting Xeenam's chest! Blood gushed out!
*Hissssss!* "You'll pay for that!" then he slashed Deezura's left arm with his claws!
They both jumped back and then began running at each other for powerful collision! Also, as they were fighting, Querxov freed Spike and Claire.
"What, they're free? You clever Samurai!"
"What did you expect?"
Then Spike, Claire, and Querxov began attacking the portal! Which caused whatever the arm came from to scream in anguish! The 3 ignored it as Deezutra distracts Xeenam from stopping them! Just then, in a blinding rage, Xeenam kicked Deezutra through the roof!
"You ass! I can't believe you'll win again! Then again, if I'm gonna lose again, you'll die!"
That's when Xeenam's back was stabbed with a gem!
"Gwah! What in the?"
"Rarity?" Deezutra wondered.
"Wrong, I am Elusive, it would seem the author left me out because I wasn't a girl, but I was still a Spike ship so he let me give you an assist!" Then Elusive stabbed even more gems into Xeenam's flesh, making the dark creature bleed more blood than it was possible! Then Xeenam was stumbling in so much pain, struggling to keep on standing up! This gave Deezutra the perfect opportunity! With one last slash, Deezutra beheaded Xeenam!
Meanwhile in the cave...
"We've been attacking this thing for what? 10 minutes? Why isn't it going back into the portal?" Said Spike.
Then Deezutra jumped back into the lair. "I've dealt with this thing before...there's only one thing to destroy this portal is the pure light from love..." Then he turned to Spike & Claire.
"B-but, we've just started!" Spike & Claire said in protest.
"Yeah, but I sense a great deal of trust & caring, almost as if you've already known each other."
"W-well..." Then as the 2 of them looked into each other's eyes, they kissed and the positivity of the light they radiated destroyed the portal!
"Well, that's that."
"Yeah, let's get out of this cave."
"Don't forget me!" Said Elusive.
Then as soon as they exited the cave, they were greeted with smiling faces, 100 to be exact.
"Hey girls, I'm alive, and guess what? This girl here, is ship 101!"
"Ahem!"
"Oh, well the 101st girl to fall in love with me but anyways, say hello to Crystal Clarity, the new addition to the harem!"
Then they all cheered, then Twilight snuck over to Deezutra.
"Captain, I'm worried."
"What's wrong?"
"What if Xeenam is right? What if only one could have Spike in the end?"
"Xeenam only said that to make you all feel miserable, don't worry I'm sure all of you will figure something out soon. Also, if Spike gets enough girls we may as well make all of you the pony equivalent to some japanese girl band." (YOU ANIME FANS KNOW WHOM I'M REFERRING TO RIGHT?)
"Well, if you think we can figure something out eventually." Then Twilight left Deezutra's side to meet Claire.
"You know Querxov..."
"What's wrong Uncle?"
"I feel that the dark times are still coming!"
"Well, whatever it is we'll fight it and win!"
"Right."
Meanwhile in the cave, 3 shadows formed humanoid bodies!
"It's a good thing we were able to keep our presence hidden until they left!" Said a spiky haired man in a straight jacket and with half a mask.
"Yeah, hmph, Xeenam had no idea we were here and thought the negative energy came from that weak witch he was summoning!" Said a man in a suit and Pikachu Mask. "So MrCreepypasta, when are we going to strike?" Asked The man in the straight jacket
"Later CreepypastaJr. and Creepsmcpasta...we must wait for the red moon!" Answered the bald blue colored man with black void eyes and multiple tubes in his oxygen mask.