Pony Pop

by Vanilla Melody

First published

A teenage filly finds a collection of songs in a time capsule depicting Ponyville's past. Pony parodies of modern pop songs. Expect a lot of Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. Rated Teen for implications of swear words.

A teenage filly finds a collection of songs in a time capsule depicting Ponyville's past.

Pony parodies of modern pop songs (with dashes of country and rock). Expect a lot of Taylor Swift, Owl City, and Katy Perry.

Rated Teen for implications of swear words.

Prologue: Time Capsules

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A teenage blue and aqua pony trotted down the road to Ponyville's centennial "History Ain't A Mystery" Festival, a cellphone in her saddlebag and a scowl on her face. I don't see why I have to give up my phone for this motherbucking thing. What's wrong with taking a doll or old clothes or something I never even use? Tartarus, I don't even get why Ponyville has to take part in this buckin' time capsule manure. Her glower grew as she recalled her mother's words from earlier:

"Marina, this festival won't ever happen in your life again! Take something special! Make it worth."

"Ugh, but I need my phone, Mom!"

"Time capsules are especially interesting to open if they contain some form of technology. Think of the sacrifices ponies one hundred years ago made so that ponies now can see what civilization was like back then. Do your part in conserving history. If ponies back then didn't need cellphones, then neither do you."

"But it's. My. Buckin'! PHONE!"

"Excuse me, young lady, I will not be spoken to that way."

"Sorry."

"Besides, we can always just get you another one, even though you spend way too much time on that thing either way. Don't be selfish, Marina. Let ponies in the future find out what life is like right now."

"It probably isn't all that different but whatever."

Marina tossed her hair and let out a small humph. "Aren't history books supposed to teach us history?" she grumbled, continuing down the paved road. "Not some dumbflank 'throw away your phone for absolutely no good reason' festival?" Off in the distance, she could hear the loud music and happy voices. Just over the hill and she'd be there.

The filly sighed. "I just don't want to give up all my awesome music that I had to bucking buy! Like, as in, with real money." She looked from side to side, checking to see if any potential eavesdroppers were around. Spotting none, she lowered her voice and growled, "Buck you, Mom."

Marina trotted up to the top of the hill and stopped, for a breather as well as to catch a sight of the view. The festival itself was nothing special, just a large, flat patch of land where all the time capsules would be buried. The previous set of capsules had been dug up and placed on top of the dirt filling up their holes, practically begging to be opened and discovered.

The blue earth pony gave a slight smile. "I guess it could be pretty cool to see what are in those boxes." She made her way down to the event, her nasty disposition temporarily gone.

After getting to one of the booths, she said, "Hi."

The registration pony dressed in sunshiny yellow looked up from her laptop and smiled. "Hello there, would you like me to register a time capsule spot for you?"

"No thanks, I already did that online yesterday," came the polite reply.

Typing something on her computer, the mare asked, "Can I have your name please?"

"Marina."

After a couple of moments, the older pony said, "Your capsule was buried on V7. If you need anything, just give one of us yellow ponies a holler." She smiled warmly, gesturing at several other ponies clad in bright yellow. "Enjoy your discoveries."

Marina thanked the mare and walked up to V7, nearly all the way across from registration. A large red violet box sat in front of her, covered in a red, a purple, a blue, a pink, and an orange jewel forming a circle around a magenta, star-shaped gem in the very center. Marina ogled at the pretty box for a moment, but quickly slipped out of her awed trance, as curiosity got the better of her.

The earth pony sat down and pulled the time capsule closer to herself, peering at the name of the owner. Twilight Sparkle and friends. She'd heard that name before. She scratched her head, but the knowledge of who the pony actually was evaded her. Shrugging, she pulled the top off and stared at the colossal number of scrolls and papers. The sheer amount of words slightly intimidated her and she decided to read them later. Blue hooves scooped the majority of the parchment away to reveal several trinkets. A filthy dress covered in jewels, a crimson cape, a bottle of vintage, hard apple cider. Marina shifted through the dirt covered objects and at the very bottom of the time capsule, she found an old photo.

The picture depicted quite a few ponies standing in front of a very old and rustic-looking Ponyville, nothing like the suburb she lived in today. The lavender one in the center caught her eye, though, even more so than the rainbow haired pegasus with all her bright colors.

An alicorn.

The teen whipped the lid of the box in front of her eyes to verify the name. Twilight Sparkle and friends. Her green eyes sparkled. I know where I've heard that name! Must have been when I was doodling in history class and Mr. Marbles was saying something about democracies versus monarchies. She was one of the four princesses! I wonder which item the princess added! She giggled. I got the time capsule of a princess!!

After a little squeeing, Marina scanned the old belongings, but nothing looked special enough to have been owned by royalty. A slightly disappointed Marina turned to the piles of papers. The young mare sifted through them until she found a letter Twilight had left for her.

Dear pony, (or whoever's opened this time capsule)

My friends and I have each left a little something to remind you all of the our pasts. While everything we've left inside may not seem remarkable at first glance, I can assure you that every single item enclosed is significant to it's respective former owner. You might be the tiniest bit confused about some of the items in here, but never fear. I will explain everything in this letter.

Marina read on, about how the bejeweled dress had been the unicorn Rarity's hit design. How the red cape belonged to the earth pony Apple Bloom as a filly and was only worn by members of the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders.' How the vintage cider was fifty percent alcohol. (Being her rebellious teenage self, Marina had made note to drink it all when she was alone. To Tartarus with being underage! she thought, cackling.)

There was tons more too, about feathers and deflated balloons, and even an unfinished novel. Marina looked over to the large stack of paper, easily being more than half of all the parchment. Apparently, the princess had left it for Marina to finish. But at the very end of the letter, there was something about having written many songs with her friends . As soon as the filly's eyes glimpsed the 's' word, her excitement peaked. Being a music lover herself, she beamed when she read that the songs had been tucked away into the box as well.

Tossing everything back into the box, the earth pony pulled out a time capsule of her own, stuffed her phone and a pre-made letter inside regretfully, and buried it. It was painful for the girl to see her best friend drown in dirt, but if Princess Twilight could do it, so could she.

Once the deed was done, the teenager slipped Twilight's time capsule into her saddlebag, albeit with some difficulty due to it's large size, and began to head home.

~*~

Once safe and sound inside of her room, Marina pulled out one of the song papers from the box. Something called "Twilight's Twilight."

Twilight's Twilight ("Vanilla Twilight" - Owl City)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsXzMuXhqTM

The stars shine bright and clear
And I lie awake and see her
Pour me a dose of love that concurs

Cause I'll doze off safe and happy
But I'll dream of her, my lady
Oh I'd let my feelings be known to her
Cause I want her as my girl

I'll watch the night turn to day
Wishing I could while snuggling her mane
Because it takes two to share that moment

The stillness isn't a cruel bet
'Till I look at my hands and feel regret
Cause the places her hooves should be aren't there, it's like a dark omen

I'll find the way to cope soon
Though I now can only stare at the moon
Because it's pure beauty reminds me of her eyes

But drenched in Twilight's twilight
I'll sit by the window all night
Neck deep in thought because when I imagine her love, I don't feel the need to cry

I don't need to cry
I don't need to cry

As many times as we'd kiss I'll wish her love was mine
I'll wish her love was mine

When at last she will find me
The true love she finally sees
I'll feel my hard heart soften and beat again

And I'll leave the sadness behind
But I swear she'll never leave my mind
Oh if my voice could reach straight into her heart, I'd whisper, strokin' her fur
"Sweet Celestia, I wish you were my girl"

T.B.C.F. ("E.T." - Katy Perry)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bh63nfmb3p0

You're so mesmerizing
Could you be the best one
In all of Equestria

Your speed, like lightning
It's not petty dreaming
Totes worth all my cheering

They say be afraid
You're tough competition
Future addition

Spitfire prays that she'll stay
Captain of the Wonderbolts

You can pull off a Rainboom
Your bestowal to flight
You help me spread my wings
And I'm ready to go, lead me into the sky.

Show me, sh-sh-show me
What real flying feels like
Tell me 'bout your exploits

Take me, ta-ta-take me
High into the stratosphere
Wanna be with you up there

Girl, you're my hero
Your touch fills me with glee
It's probably awesome
To be completely free

You're so supersonic
I'll watch every practice
Stun me with your new tricks

Your words are magic
Address me; I'm ecstatic

You can pull off a Rainboom
Your bestowal to flight
You help me spread my wings
And I'm ready to go, lead me into the sky.

Show me, sh-sh-show me
What real flying feels like
Tell me 'bout your exploits

Take me, ta-ta-take me
High into the stratosphere
Wanna be with you up there

Girl, you're my hero
Your touch fills me with glee
It's probably awesome
To be completely free

You're my inspiration
And I swear I've been patient
For oh so long

I only wanna touch the sky
But my wings just won't comply
But for flight, I'll risk it all
All

Show me, sh-sh-show me
What real flying feels like
Tell me 'bout your exploits

Take me, ta-ta-take me
High into the stratosphere
Wanna be with you up there

Girl, you're my hero
Your touch fills me with glee
It's probably awesome
To be completely free

To be completely free
To be completely free

Girl, you're my hero
Your touch fills me with glee
It's probably awesome
To be completely free

Pegasus Race ("Love Story" - Taylor Swift)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7seRIJAtjlA

We were both young when I first met ya
When the flashback starts, I don't regret none
I am high
Above the camp in the summer sky

See the bullies, see the pain and embarrassment
See you cower under their cruel stares
I can't stand it
No one else was doin' anythin' 'bout it

But you were Fluttershy
You were more than mortified
And my daddy said 'Always help a pony in need'
And I was scared but holdin' my ground
When I told them to leave

And I said 'Back off you bastards
Get away from Fluttershy
You're nothing but mean to her
Yet she still is sweet and kind
You'll be sorry, once I put you in your place'
So Dumb-Bell challenged me to a pegasus race

So I line up with the boys who belittled you
At the start, temper waned and anew
Just close your eyes
No sweat, I'll be completely fine
Oh, oh

But you were Fluttershy
I was your only defense
And my daddy said 'Always help a pony in need'
So I continued to stand up for you
Confident in my abilities

And I said 'Ready to rock, Dash?
You'll leave those jerks way behind
You're the coolest,
No one can dare to deny
Just keep your calm and maintain a good pace
Can we please just get on with the pegasus race?'

So you give the signal
And we all take to the air
Fiery tenacity
Is what's gonna get me there
I can't come in last, for poor Fluttershy's sake
I have to win this, the ongoing pegasus race
Oh, oh

I was tired of losin'
Wonderin' if I would ever be a huge effect
My faith in me was fadin'
Everyday 'Rainbow Crash' seemed more correct

And I said, 'No, Rainbow Dash,
You can't afford to think 'bout that
Clock is ticking
And you just can't come in last
It's only in your head, concentrate on the win'
I burst on my speed and felt an air cone form and then

A rainbow exploded and I heard a thunderous din
The crowds cheered wildly at Rainbow, the speed demon
I looked back to find a pair of tattoos on my flanks
Thanks to the pegasus race, I joined the higher ranks
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

'Cause we were both young when I first met you

~*~

Marina stared at the oh so relatable words on the paper. There were bullies back then too? Well, I guess flankholes don't just come out of thin air. "I feel you, Rainbow," she murmured.

All About That Mark ("All About That Bass" - Meghan Trainor)

View Online

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtE-LlJGPyU

Because you know I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark

Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no nice girl
But I can rock your minds
Just watch my flanks swirl
'Cause I got that tattoo that you want on your bum
Too bad you can't be perfect, just accept what's on your rump

I see the Goofsaders workin' that pointless club
We know their plans don't work
C'mon now, just shut up
They clearly ain't special, but they just won't give up
'Cause every inch of them is stubborn
From the bottom to the top

Yeah, my daddy he told I've always been a beauty
He said colts love my cutie mark and often crush on me
You know I won't be some immature crybaby blank flank
So if that's what you are then we know you ain't in my rank

Because you know I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark
Hey

I'm bringing beauty back
Go ahead and tell them baby blank flanks that
No I'm just playing, you think you've got a chance
But I'm here to tell ya
Every inch of you is stubborn
From the bottom to the top

Yeah, my daddy he told I've always been a beauty
He said colts love my cutie mark and often crush on me
You know I won't be some immature crybaby blank flank
So if that's what you are then we know you ain't in my rank

Because you know I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark

Because you know I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark

Because you know I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark, no blankness
I'm all about that mark, 'bout that mark
'Bout that mark, 'bout that mark
Hey, hey, ooh
You know you like this mark