The son of Soldier and Pinkie pie returns to the world of his birth.
(the third and final installment in the lost in the heat of battle series) (to have read the prequels is not necessary to enjoy this one, although I would recommend it, or put this story in your read later file until I make a blog summing up the key points in there stories, i'll but in the descript when the blog is up,) the reason I say this story is a bit different then my last ones, someone who doesn't enjoy my previous installments may enjoy this one Twelve long years have passed since the great battle for ponyville ended and Soldier was given the biggest responsibility of his life.
Fatherhood
now twelve years have gone by and just before First-class enters his teenage years.
They get legal documents from Pinkie Pie demanding her son back, Now First-class must enter a world he was born for, but not raised for,...after all you know what they say. the Apple does not fall far from the Tree.
then spooky stuff claims the adults of Ponyville. and with the aid of the other teens of Ponyville it will be up to First-class to save his new home!
“But son,....you can’t stay here its by order of the princess that I give her custody over you” Soldier said objectively.
From the bunk across the room stood his son, a 12 year old equine, he was very broad with a tan coat, his outfit was much like his fathers, a red uniform and a steel helmet covering his eyes, with special holes for his equine ears. But his son lacked in the ammo belts of his father.
The preteen gave his father a look.
“First-class don’t look at me like that, if it could happen any other way it would, but look at the bright side, you going to your world, one you will be welcomed in, you won't be home schooled any more.”
A heartstring in First-Class’s chest twinged, that had been the one thing he was looking forward to, finally being accepted. Here he never was accepted living in a world of humans, except by his family. His father and 8 uncles.
“But we haven't heard from her in years and you’re just going to hand me over?”
Soldiers faced softened, First-class’s did to.
“I just don’t want to go,” First-class choked.
“And I don’t want you to go, but its for the best. You think I wanted to go to war? Well i did but that was the old me, listen,..”
“The old you would have never let this happen.”
“I know, but becoming a father changes you, but thats not the point, the point is that you have to go. Go to your mother, go to your world.”
“I don’t want to leave you behind.”
“You aren’t, I’ll visit you every chance I get,”
“Promise?”
Soldier took his son by the shoulder and said.
“By every drop of soup in our cabinets.”
And considering his fathers love of soup, First-class felt reassured.
The garage door shrieked as it was lifted by the father son duo, light filled the large storage shed.
Soldier and First-class heaved stacks of wooden crate that they felt would not yield a prize worthy of a key no matter how tantalizing an extremely rare item may be until at the farthest reaches of the shed, they came upon what they were looking for.
A Tall wicker bassinet, the very bassinet that transported First-class to soldier as a baby all those years ago.
First-class gulped, “How is this gonna work?”
“It the letter they sent with all the custody papers they said all you have to do is touch it, and you’ll be transported there.”
First-class looked down at the floor.
“Are you all packed?” Soldier asked.
“Ya dad,” First-class looked at the repurposed Buff banner pack with spy-tech engineering giving it 300 slots. “I got our album, all my uniforms, my camping supplies, soup, boots, my tools, maps, my books and my bugle.”
“You’ve done me proud son, its about time you moved out, Here are your orders”
A frown had a brief and epic battle with a stiff upper lip upon First- classes face as his father handed him a piece of paper, the stiff lip emerged victorious.
“Hang on,..I almost forgot,”
First-class raised an eyebrow as Soldier rummaged through the crates.
“Ah! here it is, you better take this with you,”
Soldier held out a rocket launcher, near identical to his stock one but this one had no sights and was painted orange with yellow stripes.
It was the rocket jumper, useless as a weapon but very good to practice rocket jumping with. A skill First-class knew all too well, last year his father finally agree to teach him, he was a natural. He could flick jump,chain jump, crouch jump, you name it.
“Thought you would like to take it with you, to practice, since you couldn’t do much of that here.”
First-class smiled at his father, he put the rocket jumper into his Buff banner pack and marched over to the bassinet and clicked his heels, standing at attention he raised a flat palm in salute to his father.
“Sir!,..I,..I love you.”
Soldier returned the salute, “I love you too Private First-class.”
First-class then whipped his hand to the basset, gipping it so hard his knuckles turned white as the room filled with blue light.
And in the light, Two tears escaped from the rim of two separate Hermits onto two separate cheeks.
Once First-class could tell the light went down through his eyelids he opened them, he found that he was in a very colorful forest, First-class had never been in a forest so lush before, limited to the dry deserts of the badlands, it threw him into a bit of a culture shock. But he stopped admiring the view and opened orders.
“Your destination is an eating establishment known as “Sugar Cube Corner” in the civilian town of “Ponyville.” Once there you will meet your mother, and be in her legal custody.
Azimuth is 85 Degrees and half a klick from bassinet LZ.
Love you, Dad.”
First-class choked a bit at his father's handwriting, he folded the paper up and put it into the breast pocket of his fatigues, finding that his father had snuck something in there.
First-class pulled out a picture, the picture was when he got his first bb gun last year, him and his father wildly smiling at the camera at an odd angle due to the fact uncle Demoman began to fall over drunk as he took the photo.
First-class scanned the area to make sure no one was looking, He carefully popped off his helmet exposing his greatest secret to the world, he then took the photo and wedged it into the leather straps that made up the lining of his headwear and replaced his helmet.
First-class then pulled out his compass and found his azimuth and headed towards a town not to far out into the distance.
First-class entered the town, as he marched in he spied a American flag on a 30 foot pole flapping in the breeze near a statue of a tall equine with wings and horn.
The flag encouraged the patriotic fire that burned in First-class, pushing him onward, then the memory of the statute gave him a sudden realization.
He was in the very place of his birth. Just like his dad, First-class lived in a world of his own making him fail to notice the towns inhabitants.
All of them were equine, just like him. First had begun to take notice, most where very nice, shooting him warm smiles and happy waves it really helped him with how much he missed his father.
First located Sugar Cube Corner and entered through the double swinging doors. The establishment was very colorful, build to look like it had been constructed with candy First founded it to be very whimsical, but useless in a bombing raid.
“Remind me not to spend too much time here, if mecha-kaiser were to attack this place it would be his first target,” First mentally noted.
He then noticed the several young mares, six to be exact, all about college age standing behind the counter too wrapped up in their own conversation to notice his entrance.
“Oh Twily, I just can’t wait to meet him, I’m going to wrap him up in my arms and tickle his little feetsies.” A pink mare mused.
Their was another thing First-class didn’t expect, color, his tan coat was very close to the color of skin, it didn’t occur to him how colorful his world would be.
“Well still remember how we talked about how big a responsibility a infant is pinkie, it isn’t all fun and games,” a Purple mare dubbed Twily retorted.
“I know,...believe me I know,”
“Well, we are here to support you every step of the way,” A Cyan and rainbow colored mare assured.
“Thanks girls, Nopony could ask for a better set of friends,” Pinkie sighed then they all group hugged.
First was never taught the value of friendship and felt little emotion from the scene that played out before him.
Then the pinkie mare had a weird sort of,..spasm, her mane shook, the vibrations started into her mane, she went rigid as they fell to her feet then shot back up to her head throwing her into the air.
“He’s here.” Pinkie said with wide eyes and a grin.
The mares turned and collectively noticed First-class waiting patiently in front of the corner.
Pinkie gave First a very, VERY suspicious look, then stepped up to the counter.
“Sorry pinks, I forgot to put up the closed sign,”
Pinkie lifted up her hand, quickly silencing the Rainbow one, without breaking her suspicious look.
“Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner, make I take your order?” She said in a hushed robotic tone, as if she had been talking to a ghost.
First nervously broke eye contact, “Do you have any soups?”
“No sir, we are a bakery, We mainly have sweets and,.....teas.”
First class shuffled his feet at the mare glaring at him, and how she said “Teas”
The reason that this was troubling was a nice cup of peppermint flavored chamomile tea was exactly what he was going to order, he would never admit it to his father, but his love of teas where the main reason he left most nights to hang out with uncle Medic and uncle Spy.
First cleared his throat, “A nice cup of chamomile tea, peppermint if you’ve got it.”
Pinkie squeaked in surprise, the looks of confusion growing deeper on the rest of the mares.
“It just so happens I have a kettle boiled, let me go get you a cup.”
Pinkie signaled for the mares to follow her into the kitchen, The began a conversation in hushed whispers. First turned an ear, catching the last bit.
“He ordered Peppermint tea!”
“Pinkie I don’t see why that would prove that he's your,..”
“Its my favorite tea!”
“So?”
“It was also my mom’s!”
“A lotta people do!”
“Maybe, I got one last test, this will prove it,”
The Mares left the kitchen, Pinkie still had a look of suspicion while the others now had looks of awe, observing First.
“Here ya go, that’ll be 3 bits,” Pinkie Said, placing a steaming cup on the counter.
First gave her 3 green pictures of George Washington (Which the gang threw another look of confusion at) and began carefully sipping the tea.
Pinkie then changed her expression, she leaned on the counter with one elbow and ran her finger around on the glass.
“Sooooo,......why the mixing bowl?” Pinkie asked, pretending to be interested.
“What?”
“The thing on your head, you must be a avid baker.”
“Ma’am,...I’ve never baked anything in my life,”
Pinkie seemed disappointed by the answer.
“So,...why don’t you take it off?”
First breathed in a lungfull of hot tea at the very notion.
“Come On where indoors, you know its rude to wear a hat while eating,”
“I’m not eating, I’m enjoying tea,”
Then Pinkie looked deep into First’s eyes, she gave him a glassy eyed look of hope, like a child who’s about to open a smissmass present before being kidnapped by St nick, and is really hoping its a shotgun to fight off the house intruder with.
And in that very moment First-class felt a connection, he felt that he should trust this mare, like his future depended on it.
“Please take off the bowl,” She begged.
First-class considered it, “Its called a helmet,”
“Please take of the helmet,”
First sighed, “You five,” He said pointing to the group of mares, “Turn,” First made a turning motion with his finger.
They all Looked at Pinkie, who nodded, then they complied with First.
First set his tea down and lifted his hands to the brim of his helmet, then slip it off his head, exposing his secret.
Pinkie's look of hope gave way to one of pure excitement, her eyes shimmered, a wide smile grew on her face, she jumped into the air and hung there for several seconds defying all known laws of physics.
“SON!” She screamed, First-class replaced his helmet just before he was pulled into a hug that took every molecule of air from his body.
The other mares all turned and collectively gasped.
“Pinkie! this cannot be! are you quite sure?” a White coated and purpled maned unicorn asked.
“Yep I'm sure! !'m doubly sure! Triply sure even!, to think they grow up so fast!”
“I’ll say,” Twily began,” You only gave birth to him a month ago.”
proof that as a writer, i can't write introductions to characters in the show part 1
“Tthhtbthth” Was the only thing First-class could utter as his newly met guardian hugged the ever living sh*t out of him.
“This is gonna be some much fun! we’re gonna bake and party and party while we bake and i can show you to my friends. Wait! there right here this is Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie shouted, Celebrated her new found offspring.
“ISh will Paysh you all my money to stahp,” First sputtered, begging for mercy.
“Pinkie stop! you going to suffocate the poor guy!” Twilight warned prying Pinkie away from her son.
First fell flat on his back, sucking in a huge breath of air.
“Oh! sorry, im just so excited, this is gonna so much fun! Son! i can’t believe it! can you?”
Twilight examined First closely, “No not entirely, I don’t see much family resemblance.”
“Most Pie sons don’t look like their mothers, but what I saw under his helmet proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a pie.”
“As long as you're sure, still doesn't explain how he so old already.”
“Oh that easy, his dimension flows through time differently, one day here can be like a month in his world.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, “I suppose that make sense, I better write the princess, tell her that your son has made it, and this whole time difference.”
Twilight offered a hand to First-class and helped him up, “I’m sorry i have to leave, but I was nice to meet you, welcome to Equestria,..Urrr did your father give you a name?”
“First-class Ma’am!, and likewise on how nice it was to meet you,” First-class exclaimed, snapping to attention.
“In fact, I think we should leave Pinkie and her child alone for a while, being that this is his first time in equestria since he was born.”
The rest of the group nodded and left First and his mother to catch up on things. Pinkie slowly invaded First personal space, grinning wildly.
“So, How about something to eat?” Pinkie suggested, “The we can go see all of my friends.”
Without waiting for and answer Pinkie Grabbed First’s wrist and pulled him into the kitchen where she served a vast array of baked confectioneries and carried on in garbled speech about the things to know about living in Equestria.
First failed to understand the info through Pinkies mouth while she fed her bottomless appetite.
After a few hours of hopelessly one sided conversations Pinkie could no longer contain her urge for first to meet her friends, and to plan First’s Welcome to ponyville party. So Pinkie grabbed First once again and pulled him out into the city of ponyville to do just that.
The first stop on their tour was the one that was farthest from the bakery, a small Apple Farm on the outskirts of the city, There he met Applejack a blond haired mare with a honest mind and a simple way of life that First could really appreciate.
Applejack greeted them as they approached, Names were exchanged, AJ turned her attention to Pinkie Pie
“Hey Pinkie, Don’t you still think its still a little early to have your son out and about yet? Did you go over what its like to live in a Equestria with him?
Pinkie cocked her head and smiled, “I Have no idea
“Richard! Why do you always have ta’ be the problem tree? i’m almost done for the day!” Applejack shouted in frustration while furiously kicking a apple tree.
Well almost simple.
First gave AJ a quizzical look, she answered his curiosity.
“This Bucking tree,” Applejack shouted pointing to a lush tree filled with Apples, “These apples are the most stubborn one can come across.” AJ went back to kicking the snot out of the tree, The collection of full ripe red apple stood stuck fast to the tree.
“You named it Richard?” First asked.
“I named all my trees,” Applejack answered, taking a minute to motion at her vast orchard.
First wondered how one could name all those tree, and what would you name a tree? First stopped pondering and got an idea on how to help AJ, He quickly Rummaged through his Buff Banner Bag and pulled out just the right tool for the job.
“Okay Miss, i'm gonna have to ask you to stand back,” First asked politely.
AppleJack turned to see First holding the rocket jumper, Intimidated, she took a few steps back.
“What are you gonna do?” AJ asked, a little skeptical.
“Just loosen up those apples for you.”
“Richard won’t be hurt right?”
“Trust me, I’m a Soldier.”
Without another word First fired his rocket jumper at the tree, the no damaged rocket exploded against the tree, causing both mare to cover their ears, and all the apples to be blown from the tree. Causing them to rain from the sky and splatter against the ground.
First blew some smoke from the rocket jumpers barrel and returned it to his inventory.
“Always glad to help.” First said happily as he strode out of Sweet Apple Acres, humming a tune while in energetic Mother bounced behind him.
Applejack however, looked with tear soaked eyes at the carnage littering the dirt ground of her orchard, she picked up the mushed remains of one of richards apples and looked at it with remorse.
“Ah, would have named you chuck,.....and you larry,...and you.”
The next was one First did not like, a frilly boutique with a swirly hair mare named Rarity, And First was chewing back a lot of forced words as his mother looked at him apologetically while the mare gasses on about nothing but dresses, gossip, and herself.
“Mr Class, I don’t know how fashion works in your world but here that shade of red and that,...ugh,...Headwear makes you stick out like a sore thumb, Not in a good way either.
Rarity walked a few laps around First, Using tape enveloped in her magic to takes his measurements.
“I think somepony of your stature would look good in a nice shade of,......blue.”
First’s head whipped around and stared daggers at the fashionista, causing her to squeal and jump.
“Now see here young colt, if you think that blue won't look for you just say so, it isn’t worth dramatics,....Why are you so keen on that color anyhow?”
“My father liked it,”
“Was it just his favorite color?”
“That, and he liked how it didn’t show blood, no matter whose it was.”
Rarity squeaked again, she jotted down some notes saying First could leave.
Overjoyed both First and Pinkie bolted out the door While Rarity looked at First Measurements.
“Such a Strapping young lad,” Rarity said, noticing the with of his shoulders. Rarity looked down at the clipboard to see a pattern for the uniform First was wearing.
“Hmmm,..i wouldn't mind if i make a few changes would he?” Rarity asked the empty room, then began to draw and add extra designs for the outfit of Ponyville newest citizen.
She then threw her original plan for a pink baby’s onesie into the trash.
bla bla bla part 2 thank god introductions are over.
First held the baby calf in his arms, nurturing it with a bottle of milk.
Fluttershy smiled warmly at the image of First getting along with the animal so well, while pinkie silently beamed at her son.
“So? how old is it?” First asked.
“Oh, Only a few days,” Flutters answered.
“Hmmm, how old will it be when we eat it?”
“W-w-w-what?” Fluttershy stammered, Shocked.
“Ya know, knock it over the head with a club, or snap its neck then bucher it.”
“W-w-w-why in equestria would we d-d-do that?”
“What? Ever had steak? Saxton says “Its the most important meal of the day.”
“Which meal?” Pinkie asked.
“All of them,” First answered.
All the color drained from Fluttershys face, “H-h-how could you eat meat? your a equine like use you couldn’t digest it.”
“Sally i've been digestion it for 12 years, are you saying you don’t like a nice steak? Pull it out of the freezer all red and bloody, then,...”
First stopped himself when Fluttershy fainted dead away.
“Hpth, doesn't like steak, I need to tell the ponies of this world the importance of steak eating, Flutters here will probably want to do something stupid when she wakes up like protest guns or chain herself to a tree.”
“Whats a gun?” Pinkie asked.
First face palmed, then decided to drop the matter that if they didn't know what it was then they couldn't protest it.
“c’mon, lets get her into the couch,” First said, lifting the baby calf from his lap.
First sat next to his mother in the grass watching a cyan blur streak across the sky, dodging between a set course, eventually she skidded to a halt.
“There,.*Gasp,. Ten seconds flat,” Rainbow panted.
“WoowzI Woow! Rainbow it was even better the 6th time i watched it,” Pinkie Proclaimed.
“Eh” First-class said, waving a hand.
Rainbow widened her eyes, then narrowed them, “excuse me? Eh?”
“Eh” First re illustrated.
Rainbow swooped eye to eye with First.
“What you think you can do better?” Rainbow growled.
“As a graduate of jump academy at age 10, I’ve seen better.”
“But can you do better?” Rainbow rumbled.
First shrugged.
Rainbow sneered, she searched the ground, she found a single daisy. She snatched it up and rocketed into the sky, a few hundred feet into the sky she dropped it onto a small puff of cloud and then flew back down to Equestria.
“First one wo the flower wins,” Rainbow stated, smiling at the prospect of a challenge.
“Nah” First said, getting up the leave.
“What?”
“I’m tired, it was nice meeting you and we still have a party to throw, can’t wait to see you there.” First said, motioning for his mother to follow.
“NOO! you can’t, I just called you out,”
“Where you really gonna race Dashie?” Pinkie asked.
“Are you kidding? You saw how fast she was she’d eat me alive, I’ve learned to deal with competitive people this will drive her nuts, think of it as a prank.”
Pinkie bit her lower lip in jest “Oh i see, Thats a good one.”
Meanwhile Rainbow fell to her knees and screamed at the sky “SOMETHING RACE MEEE!!!”
“Ok, *sigh, i'm going to go over it one more time,” Twilight exasperated to First and Pinkie who were both sitting on a plush blue couch in the Ponyville Library.
Pinkie and First both nodded, eager with what Twilight had to say.
“Every living thing live off an electromagnetic pulse, these pulses are unique to the universe you were born in.”
Pinkie and First nodded again.
“And when First was born, our universe and his father’s flowed together normally.”
More nods
“He was born here, and when we sent him to his father. First’s Electromagnetic pulses disrupted how are universis flow together, temporary causing the time flux, thus explaining why he is 12 already, and now that he is home, time flow between our universes the same Got it?”
Pinkie and First shared confused looks.
“OH COME ON! WHERE Am I LOSING YOU!!” Twilight shouted, facepalming her face raw.
“Oh stop stressing it Twily, we got it, We better go, we got a party to plan,” Pinkie said through a fake smile, a little frightened at her friend's surprise rage.
Pinkie power walked out the door with her son in tow as Twilight plopped into and arm chair, exhausted.
As soon as they got home Pinkie began preparations to First party, it was proclaimed to be a mix of his coming to ponyville and the 12 birthdays she had missed.
Pinkie hummed tunes as she danced around sugar cube corner, spraying glitter, hanging streamers and muttering under her breath about something called a “Party cannon” being “In the shop.”
Before First knew it, a party had grown around him and the Guests had began to arrive, The first being Pinkie 5 friends.
Being socially shunned and confined to the deserts of new mexico First was not a very social stallion, as the guests grew, First found himself more and more naturally confined to one corner of the room.
Eventually, he was sitting on a chair at a corner table, two empty cupcake papers littering the tabletop.
First’s mother noticed this, and decided that it wasn't right, she sifted through the dancing ponies and climbed to the Dj booth, stopping the music and grabbing a microphone.
“Hey!” Pinkie said, giving the microphone time to adjust to the feedback,” I Just wanted to make sure we all knew what we were here for, and that is to welcome my son to Ponyville, and to the pie family,”
A Million eyes turned to First, causing him to shrink a bit in his seat.
“Wasn't he supposed to be a baby?” Somepony in the crowd asked.
“A bit of a hiccup to that effect but regardless, he is my son and I love him, a toast! to him! and to not just my family back home, but the family i got right here getting a little bigger.”
“Hear hear,” Said several in the crowd before they all collectively knocked back their drinks.
“Alright First, this is your party and all I’ve seen you do is mope in that corner, c’mon over here and show us how they break loose in your world.”
First arose from his chair and marched out to the center of the party, she bent his knees, put his hands together, cupped them and held them out in front of him.
“Who wants to flip?” First asked the crowd.
“AWWWW YEAH!” Rainbow fluttered out of the crown and landed in front of First, she put her foot in First’s hand’s who lifted it giving Rainbow enough momentum to do a perfect back flip. The crowd cheered and the exhibition, wanting to keep interest alive he turned to AJ, he held out a fist over a flat palm.
“Wanna throw?” First asked.
AJ got the message and matched his gesture.
“Rock, paper, scissors!” Both competitors shouted.
“Did I win?” First asked, he spied that AJ threw a paper, he looked down at his rock.
“Wait? Something beats rock?” First asked.
The crowd laughed, First decided to break out the big guns, he began walking around the room, in a erratic dance- like pattern.
The crowd was stood silent and bewildered.
“Conga you fools!” First ordered.
Many ponies shrugged at this strange new dance.
“Follow me and do as I do!” First instructed.
The ponies attending the party one by one began dancing behind First as he led the conga line around the room.
First felt all of his nervousness melt away as the feeling of immense up flooded his body, he felt in swirl warmly inside him, then all drip into his feet, then finally shoot up to the top of his head.
First felt his helmet shift and a patch of brown invade his eyesight.
First abruptly stopped the conga line, everypony bumped into him as he desperately pushed his helmet onto his scalp.
He turned to the crowd with a very serious look,”I would like to thank you all for coming but I’m very tired and I Am going to bed.”
And with that, First walked calmly from the conga line and up the stairs, hands fully planted to his headgear.
Everypony turned and stared at pinkie, who just shrugged “He was probably pretty tired, and it is getting late, better move along everypony and Thanks for Coming!”
Pinkie waved as the guests all shuffled through the front door, shooting remarks on how amazing he party was, But Pinkie was tuning them out, she looked at the top of the stars longingly as a heavy weight of uncertainty overcame her, the same one she felt as she did when she first held that baby colt in her arms.
That night First laid in the cot purchased from a local military surplus store when it became apparent to his mother Pinkie that the baby blue crib wouldn't suffice for her grown son.
He couldn’t sleep, his mind whirled around in his head the stress of entering a new world had finally sunk in and his head wasn't agreeing with him.
First mind was like the T.v. show “Lost” or “Adventure time” it just presented to him question after question but never,...EVER came to him with a answer.
What was like having a mother?
How would he get by in this new world? Would he get used to never seeing another human being?
Despite knowing her for a day First also wondered what kind of parent Pinkie would be, he always asked his father about him mother but he never remembered much, just the color pink, which Pinkie didn't seem to have a shortage of.
The thought of his father made First homesick as one more questions popped in First’s head.
Why did his mother give him up? He did realize that she changed her mind after only a month but why do it in the first place.
First’s head began to ache under his helmet, Then a weird tingling sensation in his toes snapped him back to reality.
First pulled up his blanket, while in bed he typically only wore his underwear, but recent events encouraged him to also wear his helmet to bed too, removing the blanket revealed his almost naked form along with his bare feet.
All ten of his toes where wiggling wildly by themselves, this surprised First but didn't confuse him. This had happened to him a few times before, it was some sort of extra sense. Abnormal body functions usually meant something was happening, this one for instance meant someone nearby was in emotional pain, it was discovered when he was 9 years old when he found Uncle Heavy sobbing in a corner of the base, failing to find his precious sasha because uncle Spy had hidden it somewhere with his invisa-watch as a prank.
Concerned with the only other person living in the small uptown apartment First lifted himself from bed, he picked up his Buff Banner backpack and opened the door to his room. He tiptoed barefoot across the dark, Narrow hallway and opened the hardwood door to his mother’s bedroom.
The door opened silently to reveal the pink back of his mother, who was sitting on her pink and white bedspread facing the wall and sobbing, softly. First took another step, applying pressure to a loose floorboard causing a creak.
Pinkie lifted her head and looked behind her, with droopy puffy red eyes she gazed at First.
“Hey,” Pinkie muttered.
“Hey” First replied.
First walked around the bed and sat next to Pinkie, who continued to stare at the wall.
“What's wrong?” First asked.
Pinkie looked back to First, “I'm just scared that's all, a month ago i was scared about having to take care of a baby, now i have a full grown child, just last week the cakes all left me this restaurant to start another in canterlot, its just, since when did i have so much responsibility?”
First weighed her situation, “Well, look at it this way, you have a family, and an already successful business that you own, you got things pretty well for a mare thats so young.”
Pinkie smiled but First could tell that his words offered little comfort.
First began sifting through his pack, “My dad always said to worry about tomorrow, tomorrow and let yesterday slid, also he always read me a story when i was sad.”
Pinkies ears lifted, “Which story?”
“Well out in the middle of new mexico there aren't many libraries, so when i was young he wrote a story and read it to me when ever he needed to,”
“He did? all by himself?”
“Yep,..here it is, its about someone who was also uncertain about life but everything turned out great” First fished out a crude notebook with a crayon illustration on the front, First handed it to Pinkie.
“Lumpy the freak pyro? First whats a pyro?”
“Its a man clad in a flame retardant suit, he goes around starting people on fire.”
“Thats sounds,....horrible,” Pinkie returned to the cover, on it was a crude drawing of a man in an asbestos lined suit and a gas mask, he wore a tiny had on his head and had some sort of music box on his back, he seemed to be holding hands with another man, this one was very skinny and wore a beanie cap.
“Who it that?” Pinkie asked, pointing to the other figure.
“Thats Larry, the scout, you’ll read about him,” First explained opening the book.
“I thought we could read it together, you know, bond a little like I did with dad.”
Pinkie smiled at the prospect of bonding with her son, she opened the book and Pinkie began reading out loud.
“Lumpy the freak pyro, by sergeant Jane Doe attorney at law.”
“A Few years ago, in a place quite aways from here, a litter of Pyros were born in the icy tundra of their home.”
“Of this little one Pyro was named Lumpy, and right away his parent noticed something was peculiar about him. Unlike his brothers and sisters Lumpy didn’t like fire.”
“Once the litter was old enough to move on their own, Lumpy would try to venture outside to play with the penguins and other wildlife while this sibling would try to find a candle to stare at, or find something combustible to hadouken. Despite this Lumpy grew up in a very loving home, his parents always took him for what he was, but his sibling often teased him and made fun of him for lacking the pyro skills that they had developed over a childhood of loving Pyro.”
“When Lumpy and his litter where 13 the letter arrived by a very cold looking mail carrier, the young Pyro decided to warm him up by engulfing him in flame, rest assured that mail carrier was nice and toasty for the rest of his life.”
“Anyway the letter was from Tf industries, summoning the litter to begin attending Tf’s finishing school for young mercenaries.”
“The Gaggle of young Pyros danced and taunted the prospect of finally being able to go to the same school as their parents and learning how to make it on there own.”
“Except one, Lumpy held his head in his hands and sat crosslegged in the corner of the cabin the was born in, worried about his future and saddened that he was going to leave his parents behind.”
“Of course the clan was sent to the academy, after a bus and a plane ride, an orientation day at the prestigious brick build school and a night of tossing and turning in unfamiliar surroundings, It was the first day of training.
The ranks of Pyros sat in desks and they were debriefed on the function of each available pyro weapon by a older more experienced pyro, Lumpy tried paid close attention in hope of learning something that might help him when they test his lacking abilities. Before Lumpy knew it the starting class was over and a table of weapons was brought out, Quickly his classmates jumped from their desk and attacked the table, Lumpy stumbled and faceplanted out of his desk, by the time he picked himself up only a few weapons lay on the table.
Lumpy looked at the weapons with confusion, without knowing what they did he picked up a degreaser, a stock shotgun and a powerjack, he then followed his class mates out into the training range.
The instructor let them to a field full of flat cardboard targets and told Lumpys class to burn as many as they could.
Lumpy entered the training field, it was surrounded by many other fields designated for the training of other classes. To Lumpy’s left a group of teenage heavies mowed down a collection of stuffed targets while to his right a class of young scouts jumped and sprinted through and obstacle course.
“Whats a heavy,?” Pinkie asked First-Class.
“Oh,...UMmm oh boy how do i describe this, hes a really big guy, and hes really tough,....”
“Uh huh,..”
“And hes got a big machine gun,...”
“hmmm,...hmmm” Pinkie began to look a little uncertain.
“”and he mows down enemies with it while calling them babies and always taking a break for a sandwich or two,”
“Don’t you mean sandwich?”
“Try telling that to him,”
Pinkie raised and eyebrow, then smiled.
“I’m going to have to meet the people you grew up with one of these days, i mean i’ve seen them, but we really have to talk.”
“I would love that, and i think they would love it too.”
Pinkie and First both nodded then Pinkie happily returned to the story.
the instructor pyro blew a whistle and ordered the class to follow his instructions. All the other pyros frantically sprinted at the targets with their weapons blazing not bothering with plans or strategy, they just ran at everything like an idiot.
As the basic strategy of a pyro goes.
Lumpy elected to take things slow, He spied a cardboard cut out of scout that had gone unnoticed by his classmates, Lumpy lifted his degreaser and with a cry charged at the target. He found the column of fire produced by his weapon a little off putting but still sprinted on, Just when the flames were about to hit the scout Lumpy slipped on a loose stone and tripped past the scout, not even managing to singe it a little. Lumpys finger still rested on the trigger of the weapon as he tried to find his footing, the whole spectacle had started attracting a crowd.
Lumpy got back up and went for another charge, this time just as the flames where going to touch the cutout,
“*Click,” Lumpy's degreaser ran out of fuel.
A roar of laughter both muffled and otherwise erupted all around him, Lumpy looked around and saw his entire class gawking at him, along with the instructor who was desperately trying to hide it to spare Lumpy’s feelings.
On the wall to his left a group of heavies where looking over and where slapping their knees out of jest.
To Lumpy's right a bunch of scouts where sitting on top of the their wall, pointing and laughing at the pyro.
Lumpy's face turned red from under his mask, he quickly became angry and pulled out his powerjack, he hoisted it over his head and found that wit was very, very heavy.
The force of him lifting sent it back over his head and caused him to fall directly on his rear.
Another volley of laughs from his adoring audience.
Lumpy had began to see red from the blood boiling in his head, he pulled out his stock shotgun and fired, 10 crit charged pellets flew at the target at the speed of sound and with deadly accuracy, the target was obliterated. the kick from the stockless shotgun hurt the young pyro’s wrist and pushed him onto his back, he dropped the weapon and lay spread out on the gravelly ground as the crowd gasped.
A few seconds later the instructor pyro stepped over Lumpy and helped him up, a bell ran out and everyone started to walk to the mess hall for lunch, the instructor watch Lumpy and as he moped on his way to the lunch room.
There was something special about this young pyro, he could feel it.
Lumpy sauntered through the lunch room, every time he passed by an open seat at a table, someone always filled it. He went up to a table of spies, just as he was going to sit down a spy decloaked in the empty spot, they all laughed as he tried a table of heavies.
Just as he found another empty seat a heavy nonchalantly hoisted his mini-gun into it.
At a table of scouts one quickly slid over, filling two seats a once while smirking, “Denied!” he shouted and the rest smirked at him.
“Hes such a freak,”
“A pyro who can’t even burn things?”
“But did you see that shotgun shot?”
“Pfft, what pyro uses a shotgun?”
“He should be sent home, I give him a week before he flunks.”
Lumpy ignored the ramblings of the others and sat by himself in a completely empty table, he poured some of his lunch into his mask when he hear something that made him spit half of it out.
“Hey there his this seat taken?”
Lumpy sputtered, once he spit enough soup out to talk again he looked up.
He saw a scout pointing to the empty space beside him, Lumpy scooched a little and the scout sat down.
After a few silent bites the scout spoke up, “Saw you out in the training course, rough first day huh?”
Lumpy nodded.
“So what you name?” The scout asked.
“Hmmpy” Lumpy said without thinking.
“Lumpy huh? that cool pyro’s always had strange names.”
Lumpy looked shocked that the scout understood his language.
“Heh, my uncle was a engineer at this school, he taught me how to speak mumbles.”
Lumpy gave a blank look, then smiled, “Hmmm Mmk MMM Mmmmshp.”
The scout smiled,” Yeah i think this is the start of a good friendship, by the way my names Larry.” Larry offered his hand.
Lumpy took it and shook it, not believing his fortune.
“Aaand thats a good stopping point,” First said, closing the book and pulling it from Pinkie’s hands.
Pinkie blinked, “What? no! it was just getting interesting! what happened after that? did lumpy ever learn to use fire?”
“I assure you Lumpy hated fire all his life.” First said smugly.
“Well then how did he fight?”
“You’ll see, when we read it again, maybe tomorrow,”
“Awww, I can’t wait I wish I could make it tomorrow!.”
“Well you seem to have cheered up,”
Pinkie blinked, “Wow, i really have, that story was just so engaging, I guess I forgot all about being sad.”
“Yeah it’ll do that to you.”
Pinkie looked at her son, “Thanks son, I really needed that” Pinkie yawned “ I think we should go to bed now.”
First nodded and Pinkie spread her arms for a hug.
“Yeah but,.......Mom?” First though the word sounded kind of weird.
Pinkie blinked again, “Yeah honey?”
“Why did you give me to dad?”
Pinkie darked a little, “Oh i was young, and scared and stupid.”
“It was a month ago to you.”
“And a month ago I was scared a stupid, I was a immature mare that partied all the time, i thought a kid would put a stop to that, after a few weeks i found out how selfish that statement was and so i wanted you back,.....so infant, 12 year old or old man, I’m glad i have you here, right now,” Pinkie bobbed him lightly on the muzzle with her index finger.
First blushed.
“I Love you son.”
First brought Pinkie in for another hug, this one a bit tighter.
It was a dark and stormy night when,....wait no it wasn't. In fact it was a very sunny fall day in Ponyville.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I guess my hand have to get used to the sensation of typing again, hopefully this story won’t contain any more nonsense.
Anyway it was a sunny fall day in Ponyville as Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle walked down main street. The antro-Mares had nothing better to do that day and were wandering around aimlessly through town.
Until Twilight Sparkle stopped walking, Right beside an abandoned building in the middle of main street and became lost in thought, as if she had just remembered something.
“Girls” She said.
The other 4 stopped and turned to her friend.
“What is it sugarcube?” Applejack said in her usual delightful manner.
“How long has it been since you’ve seen Pinkie Pie?” Twilight asked with concern.
Other’s eyes filled with realization as they searched their minds for the last time they had seen there party animal friend.
“I don't rightly know.” Applejack responded. “I remember when she found her son, then,......its pretty much a blank.”
“I actually checked the calendar this morning, She found her son over two months ago,” Twilight pointed out. “And another thing, that abandoned building I so conveniently stopped next to is Sugarcube corner.”
The five friends all turned to Sugarcube corner and found why it was so easily mistaken for an abandoned building. The Bright Pink paint had faded, as if the life of the color had been sucked out. All the windows had been boarded up and on the door hung a closed sign with the word “Forever!” Written in red paint under the sign.
“Gosh, I guess when Pinkie Pie got her son we just wrote her off as a busy mom, i guess we should just leave her be. If she needed help she would have called ” Fluttershy said.
“Oh-no,” Applejack responded. “Look at this place, Pinkie needs our help, C'mon girls.”
Applejack grabbed the handle on the front door and turned it, to find the door had been boarded shut. Applejack then gave the door a good shove with her shoulder. The door gave way and the five friends were immediately covered in dust and dirt that had fallen from the door sill.
Once coughs where coughed and sputters where sput, the girls then noticed the spookiest thing about the dilapidated eating establishment.
The quiet. The Girls all stood up straight and soaked in the silence.
*Creeek
All the girls jumped slightly, as if the house was going to come to life any minute and eat them.
*Creeek
There it was again, but just a bit longer. Applejack motioned for the girls to follow. She led the gang through the dark and cobweb covered remains of the dining area and past the counter. There the girls could see a flickering light from behind the corner. Shining through the windowed swinging door that separated the kitchen from the Dining room.
*Creeek
Applejack gave and nervous glance to all the others, who all nodded. Applejack raised her orange hand and pushed back the door. The Door Revealed the kitchen, The counters were all covered with a inch of dust and cobwebs. A Single fluorescent light flickered, illuminating the room.
*Creeek
Much louder this time the eerie noise had caught the attention of the girls, drawing attention to its source.
A Old-timey rocking chair made of birch branches inhabited the center of the room, facing a grease fryer. The red light telling the girls that it was currently on and due to the build up of overcooked black nasty grease flowing from its sides, it had been on for a long time.
But none of this was really important, what was important was who was sitting in the rocking chair.
“Pinkie Pie?” The rescue team said in unison.
Pinkie leaned back and turned her head towards the girls, The group gasped. you could tell Pinkie hadn't moved from that spot for a long time. Her makeup had congealed on her face, leaving streaks and her hair sat flat on her head. Pinkie grew a small smile “Hey girls, have you come to wait with me?”
“Wait for what?” Twilight asked.
“For First to come out of the fryer” Pinkie answered. Pointing to the active fryer.
“COME OUT OF THE FRYER?” The girls screamed.
“You don't have to yell, but yes. he's been down there a long, long time.” Pinkie retorted.
“Okay wait, exactly what happened?” Twilight asked.
“Well after our first night as mother and son, I went down to the kitchen to start the morning doughnuts, Then I accidentally dropped my class ring in the fat. First noticed my distress and being the good boy he is he said he wanted to go after it. “No,No,NO” I said, but he told me not to worry, one of his uncle had given him something that would keep him safe. So without waiting for an answer he went upstairs and grabbed his backpack and jumped in, And he's been there ever since.”
“And you didn't think to get one of us?” Twilight asked.
“Oh, I didn't want to bother anyone, but don't worry I did call someone the day after.”
“Who?”
“I don’t remember his name, but he seemed like the right person to call, but he is taking his dear sweet time hasn't he?” Pinkie giggled.
Twilight turned to the girls and motioned for them to huddle up.
“Okay, i know we all love Pinkie, but i think her insane son’s death has pushed her over the edge.” Twilight whispered.
“Yeah, it seems to put her out of sorts.” Applejack had agreed.
“She finally gone off the deep end, i'm just glad she didn’t hack any of us up.” Rainbow added.
The rest of the girls deadpanned Rainbow.
“Oh yeah, too bad about First though, candle burns twice and fast for half as long or whatever” Rainbow said.
The girls then broke the huddle and slowly walked around Pinkie. “Pinkie, how long has it been since you've seen you son?” Rarity asked.
“About two months.” Pinkie responded.
The girls winced.
“And the last you saw of him is when he dived into the frayer of white hot boiling fat?”
“Yes” Pinkie said, almost excited to talk about her son.
“Pinkie”
“Yes Rarity?”
“I think you should come with us.”
“Why?”
“So you can get some help.”
“But I already called for help, he’ll be here he's just taking awhile.”
The girls grabbed Pinkie, She became frightened and started screaming and kicking.
“NO,..ugh, What are you doing! I can’t go anywhere I have to be here when he gets here.”
“Pinkie!” Twilight yelled. “Your son is dead due to a simple misjudgment, you need to accept that, what you also need to accept is you need help from someone else and that this person you “called” is not coming, never, ever, not in a millio-”
*BOOM!
Twilight was interrupted by a huge explosion that destroyed the swinging door to the kitchen, The room filled with dust and all the girls were thrown into a heap on the ground.
After the dust cleared the girls all gazed that the creature that had caused the Door to implode on itself.
It was a huge figure of a man. at least 6,10 and 280 pounds, he had massive fists, he wore boots and jeans on his legs and feet. on this chest he wore and cotton shirt so enormous anybody there could use it as a parachute, the shirt itself was darkblue with a silhouette of a pony on it and the word “Brony” written in black over the image of the pony. He had a strong chin, and scratchy beard, a monocle over his right eye and a top hat atop his big bald head.
“Heavy Weapons Brony!” Pinkie cheered.
“Hey Pinkie!” H.W.B. yelled back as a ninja jumped from the shadows and towards H.W.B.
H.W.B. punched the ninja out of a nearby window.
“Sorry Im late Pinkie! traffic was a bitch!” H.W.B. yelled punching away another ninja.
“Now that the shadowkhan have been defeated I must to save my O.C.!”
H.W.B, charged the fryer,he took a flying leap through the air and landed a perfect swan dive into the sizzling fat.
The Pinkie smiled happily while the rest of the girls stared in shock, unsure on what was happening.
A Mass of limbs erupted from the fryer. A grease covered H.W.B. threw the limp form of First Class onto the tile floor and climbed from the fryer.
“First! Please be okay! I knew I shouldn't have let you go into the fryer without me!” Pinkie yelled, beginning to sob.
“I feel obligated to call D.F.S.” Rainbow interjected.
First didnt look good, his eyes were empty and his skin was pale blue. Pinkie whined.
“No! hes dead!”
“Not this O.C.” H.W.B yelled.
H.W.B. raised both of his massive fists and with a roar brought them down on First’s chest.
“LIVE!” H.W.B Demanded, Bringing his fists down again.
The moment they hit First’s chest he coughed, a gold streak shot from his mouth and hit Pinkie square in-between the eyes. It bounced off her forehead and landed into her hands.
“*Gasp! my class ring!”
“Live!” H.W.B. Yelled, smashing First’s chest a third time, causing a rather large red box and fly from First’s mouth and hit H.W.B in the chest.
“Gaa!” H.W.B Yelled.
First began to cough and choke, but regained breathing. He sat up and felt his chest.
“*Gasp! I’m alive!........Hooray!” First cheered.
“Son!” Pinkie cheered throwing her arms around him.
Heavy Weapons Brony sat up and held the dispenser that was somehow got lodged inside of First, the healing properties kept him inches from death for the past two months.
“Thanks Heavy Weapons Brony!” The mother/son combo said in unison.
“Everypony gets one, now how about some ice cream?” H.W.B suggested.
“Yay” They cheered.
H.W.B then dug into His magical pockets and produced a gallon of ice cream, he handed out 2 cones and gave Pinkie and First a scoop each.
“Thanks again!” Pinkie and First cheered.
“Anytime you two, and remember. Dont do drugs!” H.W.B.
“Unless you're a hippie and want the terrorists to win! We remember!” The duo chimed.
“Thats right,...goodbye.” H.W.B started to leave and found the other 5 mares standing there in a line, eyes filled with shock and mouths agape.
“Oh what the heck?” H.W.B said shrugging, he handed out 5 more ice cream cones, Each Girl took them very absentmindedly.
H.W.B walked out of the kitchen through the hole where the door use to be, Pinkie and First trailing behind him.
“C’mon son, looks like we got some cleaning to do.” Pinkie said between slurps of ice cream.
First nodded in response, obviously enjoying his.
The other five still stood there, after several minutes their ice cream began to melt and dribble over their fists.
Rainbow then furiously threw hers onto the ground.
