Super Slutty Semen Squeezy 9000
Applejack trundled along the Sweet Apple Acres path with a pair of laden apple buckets strapped to her torso and her fine workhorse flank swinging behind her. The lyrics of Apples to the Core lingered on her luscious farm filly lips. It was the end of a long day, and her muscles ached, but it was a good kind of ache. These two barrels were numbers forty-nine and fifty for the day—a full fifteen above her quota.
The barn was close. All she had to do was place the buckets inside, then she could enjoy a nice foaming mug of hard cider. Or perhaps five mugs. As she entered the barn, an acid green glow came from the shadows, and another slammed and barred the door behind her. She could see nothing aside from the glow; somepony must have boarded windows. It wrapped around one of her apples, snatched it from the bucket, and brought it close to the magic’s source, where a huge chunk disappeared with a loud crunch.
Green magic... Applejack had not seen green magic since Queen Chrysalis or—
“Say, what do we have here, brother of mine?”
Applejack tossed her head and snorted. “The Flim Flam Brothers!”
“How astute of you, Applejack, my dear,” said Flim from behind her.
Flam finished the apple in one bite, tossed at the core at Applejack, knocking off her hat, and put out his magic. “My, my, fifty whole buckets of apples, hmm? Somepony's been hard at work today.”
Applejack pawed at the ground and tried to focus her eyes enough to see Flam. “What in tarnation do you two vermin want?”
“Vermin?” said Flim.
“You wound me!” said Flam. “We may have done our share of bad deeds in the past, but now we're going completely legitimate. Well, almost. See, we almost had it right the first time. That's why we've invented... this!”
Flim and Flam lit their horns, and a dozen oil lamps came on, revealing a gargantuan contraption. It was similar to their first machine, except considerably bigger. It was also fitted with several large, square compartments and lenses. How they sneaked something so titanic into the barn while Applejack was harvesting a couple buckets of apples, she could never guess.
“The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Six Thousand!” Flim sank to one hind leg and spread his forelegs wide.
Flam mirrored his brother's gesture. “And one!”
Applejack cocked an eyebrow. “What's the 'one' for?”
“You see,” said Flim, “our problem was that even though we could produce cider quickly, we couldn't maintain quality, so we thought of something.”
“What if we made use of all those other parts?” Flam tipped his hat at Flim. “That's where our new machine comes in! The rocks in the cider will now be used to create gravel, and the dirt, rotten apples, and cores will become mulch! It's perfect, don't you think?”
Flim gave Applejack an evil grin. “Perfect enough to put you out of business, I'd say!”
Applejack's tail swished from side to side. She raised her hackles. “Y'all know what a red ribbon 'round a pony's tail is for? It means we kick.”
Flim took a step back. “There's no need for that!”
“We're not planning on anything too dastardly,” said Flam.
“Not at all.” Flam shook his head. “We're just gonna give you some healthy competition during next week's cider sale.”
Flim rubbed his muzzle. “Unless...”
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Unless what?”
“Well...” Flim edged around Applejack, peering at her flank. “We couldn't help but notice your incredible flank.”
Flam waggled his eyebrows. “That's one apple pie we'd love to split.”
“Hold on there just one minute!” Applejack reared up and kicked the air. “Are y'all sayin' what I think yer sayin'?”
“Indeed we are,” said Flim. “Allow us to spell it out for you.”
Flim and Flam each grabbed a cane and started to dance on their hind legs, twirling their canes and hats in time with their duet.
“This proposition may seem rather crass.
Threatening you with our big contraption
made from the finest of steels, woods, and brass.
'Tis all just a ploy to get some action...
All that we want is a piece of your... ass!
“We want your ass, ass!
We want your ass, ass!
We wanna tap that juicy ass of yours!
We wanna tap that juicy ass of yours!
“Oh, yes, we've got a pair of big, hard dicks.
No, we're not up to our usual tricks.
We want to ride you 'til you can't walk straight!
We've a pussy appetite you must sate!
Ho, ho, ho! This sex is gonna be great!
“We want your ass, ass!
We want your ass, ass!
We wanna tap that juicy ass of yours!
We wanna tap that juicy ass of yours!
“So, what do ya say, Applejack? Shall we?
Yes! Think of your business. Think of your life.
Just take our dicks, and scream like a banshee!
Oh, come along now. There's no need for strife.
Let us have our way with that ass... for free!”
Applejack stood with her mouth hanging open as the brothers finished their song and tossed their hats in the air. She had the urge to kick them, but she was too stunned by what she had just heard. Nopony had ever written a song about her behind before, and, come to think of it, all those hard days out in the field did wonders for her physique.
She mentally shook herself and gave them a threatening nicker. “This ass ain't for sale.”
Flim gave her a false pout. “Oh, that is a shame. Whatever will we do?”
Flam mimicked his expression. “I guess we'll just have to set up shop beside you and outproduce your family in both quality and quantity, and create some other useful products to boot!”
“Y'all are lyin'!” Applejack pawed at the ground. “I know how you work. Ya trick ponies into believing something so you can get yer way!”
“Oh, ho, really?” said Flim. “This time, we're not lying. Brother?”
Flam lit his horn, and his magic curled around a bucket of apples.
Applejack leapt into the air and flailed her forehooves. “Hey!”
“Hey is for horses.” Flam winked. He lifted the bucket over the machine, poured its contents into the large funnel at the top, and discarded the bucket. His magic flicked a series of switches, activating the machine.
It hummed and whirred, its light bulb glowing, pistons churning, and valves piping jets of steam into the air. After a mere ten seconds had passed, a barrel of cider, some pebbles, and a small bag of mulch came out the other end.
“This one's on us,” said Flim. “We did use your apples, after all. Go on. Take a sip. I guarantee it's better than the Apple family swill!”
Before Applejack could retort, Flam had already poured her a mug of cider and thrust it into her muzzle, splashing some of the foam on her snout. Applejack grumbled, clutched the mug, and took a long draft—she had worked herself to the bone today, and she needed some cider, anyway.
It was the best cider she had ever tasted. Her taste buds pulsed with satisfaction, and the familiar tingle of alcohol spread through her limbs. She exhaled loudly through her snout and drained the rest of the mug in one long swig. “That was... that was...” she tossed the mug aside and belched.
“Amazing, right?” asked Flam.
Applejack nodded.
Flim gave the machine an affectionate tap. “You just can't beat it. Our offer still stands.”
“So, what do ya say? Care for a spit roast?” said Flam.
Applejack gulped. It was this or lose the farm. She eyed the barrel of cider. “Okay. Fine. But let me at that there cider first. Maybe if I drink enough, you two will look like Big McIntosh.”
Flim tipped the barrel on its side and rolled it over to her. “All yours.”
Applejack hoisted it up, uncorked it with her teeth, and sealed the hole with her lips. Cool cider gushed into her eager throat, and she chugged it in a sequence of mighty gulps, eliciting cries of dismay from the Flim Flam Brothers. Her body soon went warm and partially numb as incredible amounts of alcohol entered her system. An entire barrel was enough to make most stallions fall flat on their faces, but she was a champion.
When the last few drops of delicious cider rolled down her throat, she discarded the empty barrel and smacked her lips. She shook herself and tried to refocus her bleary eyes. Flim and Flam cut rather dashing figures in their striped vests. They were tall and trim—not so bad, come to think of it. Applejack had not gotten a good lay in quite some time, and she could do a whole lot worse.
She licked her lips and giggled. They may be bad enough to deserve a long imprisonment inside Canterlot's dungeons, but she no longer cared. Her marehood already quivered with anticipation. She had never had a threesome before. Applejack trotted toward them, her gait surprisingly steady for somepony as ineighbriated as she was.
As she drew close, she thought she heard a crunching noise—like apples being eaten—from inside the machine. She stopped and shook herself again. Maybe she did drink a little too much a little too fast. “All right, fellas,” she said, her speech only slightly slurred. “Time to show momma whatcha got!”
Flam whinnied. “That's more like it!”
The brothers wasted no time using their magic to remove their clothes, fold them, and place them on top of the machine. They waggled their eyebrows and approached her.
Applejack coiled backward, like a cougar waiting to pounce. She was going to have as much fun with this as possible. When they took a couple more steps, she dived forward, tackling Flam to the ground. Her lips locked with his, and her tongue plunged into his mouth, forcing a startled snort from him.
He was a good kisser. That, or the cider had lowered her standards considerably. It was all the same to her, regardless. Drunk or not, she had a hot stallion pinned beneath her, and her pussy was already becoming slick with her apple juice. Before she knew it, Flim had thrust his muzzle into her cooch and began lapping at her insides.
Before long, she felt something hard and flat pressing into her belly. Judging from how vigorously Flam's hooves groped her, it could only be one thing. Her body shuddered. The tongues in her mouth and pussy felt so good. They writhed and squirmed, lashing against her. She felt Flam's horsecock getting bigger.
Now that she had given in, she was lost in bliss. Two stallions pleasuring her at the same time—with Flam as her willing make out prisoner and Flim fondling every inch of her perfect ass—made her feel like Applejewel all over again. As sexy as Rarity was, she knew she was really the mare to be with once she turned on her rugged farmpony beauty.
She had to give it to Flim—he really knew how to use his tongue. Her legs wobbled as the churning fire in her insides reached boiling point. It was quickly becoming too much. Flim's tongue finally found her g-spot, and that was it. She tossed her head, breaking her kiss with Flam, whinnied, and came.
Her nethers clamped down on Flim's muzzle as she ground her hips into his face and produced more of her delicious pony love juice. This earned her a hard spanking, but thanks to how ample, toned, and firm her ass was, it felt invigorating, despite the force behind it. She closed her eyes and basked in her climax as Flim's tongue worked its magic rapidly, prolonging her ecstasy.
Finally, she came down, opened her eyes, and stared at Flam hungrily. He grinned and pointed down. Applejack followed his forehoof and gasped. His huge stallion cock throbbed between them. It was mottled, veiny, and nearly as thick as her foreleg. It was also a few inches longer than the average of fourteen.
Applejack released Flam and turned to his cock. “I'll be with ya in a minute.” She went over to Flim and kissed him, his lips still glazed with her filly fluid. She vaguely noted Flim's cock was identical to his brother's. A moan escaped her throat. The thought of nearly three feet of hard pony cock all to herself was enough to drive her into a frenzy.
“Hope you're ready for this, Applejack, my dear,” said Flam.
Two firm hooves went on her back, and she felt Flam's cock head pressing against her pussy lips. They kissed it, and she bobbed her flank up and down, inviting him in. With one steady, hard push, Flam entered her hungry love tunnel. Applejack moaned as the pleasurable prolific pony phallus powerfully ponytrated her. It was a good fit; there was some wiggle room, but all her nerves shot jolts of pleasure to her brain. Before long, Flam hilted inside her. Applejack grinded her flank against him as he began to slowly thrust.
Flim pulled back and grinned. “Ever taken two dicks at once?”
Applejack shook her head.
Flim dropped on his back and wiggled underneath her. He rubbed his cock against her already stuffed pussy. “You have now!”
Applejack gasped. Flam had withdrawn his cock until only the head remained inside, but that was only to make it easier for Flim to join in. She cried out as the two meaty cock heads stretched her pussy to its limits. She realized this must be the “good kind of hurt” Rarity liked to talk about after she had consumed too much wine.
If she was almost full before, she felt like she was about to split at the seams. She tossed her head and screamed with agony and pleasure as the twin meat drills bored into the innermost depths of her foal garden. Her limbs feebly thrashed about as her insides slowly adjusted to the thirty-four inches of pain lodged inside of them.
But they continued to go deeper like Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception. Finally, when it felt like she could not take any more, they bottomed out inside her. She stared at Flim with blurred vision—whether it was from the mind-shattering interhorse or the alcohol, she could never be sure—and placed her forehooves on his shoulders.
“Ready, brother?” said Flim.
Flam gave Applejack another hard spanking. “Ready!”
“Go!”
The brothers took it in turns to withdraw their cocks almost all the way out of her, then hilt themselves in one powerful thrust. One horsecock always remained completely inside her at all times. They moved in perfect rhythm; as soon as one was all the way back in, the other started to withdraw. It did not take her long to reach horsegasm once again.
She had completely lost control of her body. One wave of pleasure immediately followed the next, chaining her orgasms together. Each thrust elicited a loud whinny as their cocks pistoned in and out. Consciousness began to fade. She was nearing her threshold; one could only take so much cock.
Flam grunted. “Oh, my, brother! I'm about to—”
“—cum?” said Flim.
“Yes.”
“We're not ready to finish yet,” said Flim, withdrawing his cock.
“No, we aren't.” Flam copied his brother's motion.
Applejack collapsed to her side, wheezing. Her pussy ached from overuse. She vaguely noticed Flim and Flam mopping their foreheads. Their cocks leaked precum. They mercifully allowed her a few minutes to regain some strength before they hoisted her onto her hooves.
“W-what now?” she asked.
“Time for a good ol' spit roast!” Flim moved into position behind her and placed his cock against her gaping maregina.
Flam leaned in and stole a sloppy kiss before he reared up and lined up his impressive cock with her mouth. Applejack's tongue snaked out and teased the flat, dripping head. She tasted some of her own tuna-scented juices and his salty precum. This only whetted her appetite for steel-hard dick. She wrapped her forehooves around the shaft and tickled the urethra with her tongue.
Flam grabbed her head and pulled her into his cock, forcing her to take it in her mouth. As he did so, Flim crammed half his length into her goods. Except it was not her pussy—it was her ass. The invading shaft entering her throat muffled her cry of dismay as each brother forced more of himself inside her. Their cocks were so big, she was surprised they did not somehow meet in the middle.
Then she recalled her anatomy, and that each passage went to a different place. Perhaps if they hilted, they would be over top one another. Applejack was paralyzed as they eased more and more of their cocks inside. She felt full to bursting, and yet they were only a little past their medial rings.
Flim and Flam double hoofbumped over her as they began thrusting simultaneously. With every thrust, they went farther in. The dual sensations were divine. Her throat and ass were stretched beyond anything she was used to, and each cock was nearly inside her core. She went limp; all she could do was clench the copious amounts of horse meat crammed into her orifices.
Applejack marvelled at Flim and Flam's stamina. Most stallions she had been with would have blown their loads by now, but they kept on going. In fact, they moved faster, penetrating deeper and deeper. They each withdrew their cocks until only the tips remained inside, grunted, and pushed. Applejack's heart raced as both strong sumptuous stupendous stallion shafts simultaneously slammed all the way in, skewering her from end to end.
The brothers started giving her small thrusts, moving only a few inches. She clenched on their members so hard, they could not manage anything more. Pleasure wracked her body. Constant horsegasm gripped her pussy, sending her horny horsey heat honey trickling down her inner thighs. Her eyes watered, and her head swam. Now she understood the mareit behind Rarity's Friday night “outings.”
The grunts from Flim and Flam grew louder, their thrusts more erratic. It seemed like they were getting close. Applejack was both sad and relieved that it was nearly over. They were individually not as long or thick as Big Mac, but together, their size and prowess meant that this was by far the best rutting she had ever received. She was just beginning to imagine their cum loads when they pulled out.
Flam's cock throbbed and pulsed, dripping with precum and saliva. He wiped the tip on her cheeks, coating them with his promise of what was to cum like warpaint. “I'm not quite ready yet. I want to feel that ass for myself,” he said, kissing her.
As Flam moved behind her, Applejack felt empty. She had grown to love the cocks inside her, and without them, something important was missing. With no horsecock to support her weight, she fell on her side, panting feebly. Two pairs of hooves lifted her up, and she felt a cock—presumably Flam's—pressing against her ass.
“Here we go!” said Flam, hilting himself in one mighty thrust.
Applejack shrieked as Flam's forelegs wrapped around her middle. He humped her with reckless abandon from behind, his hips slapping against her firm farmpony flank. “Aah! Yes! Yes! That's it! Give it to me, ya filthy swindler. Faster. Faster! Ponytrate me into next week! More! More!”
“Didn't forget about me, did you?” said Flim. He stood over her and aligned his cock with her exposed pussy.
Applejack gave her nethers a rub and a pat, inviting him in. Flim laughed, bit down on her ear, and buried himself inside her windswept moors. Her tongue lolled out of her open mouth, and soft whinnies escaped her throat as Flim and Flam worked her marehood and asshole with frantic, fervent thrusts.
“Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” said Flam, his voice husky from plowing Applejack so hard.
“Indeed I am,” said Flim. “Time for the grand finale, Flim Flam Brothers style!” He withdrew his cock and pressed it against Applejack's muzzle. She opened her mouth and gratefully accepted his shaft.
Flam pulled out, gave her flank a good thwack, and entered her marehood.
“Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine,” said Flim, entering deeper. He began to sing.
“It's the same in every mare.
Whorses with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of semen to be found.
Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair.”
Flam joined in:
“That the key they need to solve this sad semen shortage you and I will share.”
They took up their song in tandem, thrusting with every word. Now that Applejack's nethers were loosened up, they had no trouble hilting themselves at will.
“Well, you've got opportunity
in this very cummunity!
And that's a new world, with tons of semen,
fresh squeezed and ready for drinking!
“More semen than you could drink in all your days of thinking.
So take this opportunity,
in this very cummunity.
“He's Flim.
He's Flam.
We're the world famous Flim Flam Brothers.
Traveling sexponies nonpareil!
“And I suppose by now you're wondering, where is this promised semen?
Any horse can make a claim and any pony can do the same,
but my brother and I have something most unique and superb,
unseen at any time in this big new world.
And that's opportunity.
“The unbelievable,
unimpeachable,
indispensable,
I-can't-believe-able,
Flim Flam Brothers' Super Slutty Semen Squeezy 9000!
“Ready, Flim?
Ready, Flam?
Let's bing bang zam!
And show this thirsty mare a world of delectable semen!”
Meanwhile, Applejack was a happy pig in the brothers' spit roast. She sucked and clenched as they withdrew nearly their whole lengths before smashing all the way back in. Her nerves burned, and she hungered for their horse jizz.
A series of loud bursts filled the air. Each of the boarded windows had their planks sent flying, and a swarm of mares and stallions flooded inside the barn. They gathered in a huge crowd around the machine, the brothers, and Applejack. Almost everypony in Ponyville was there. They began to chant.
“Semen, semen, semen, semen...”
The Flim Flam Brothers thrust harder and faster. There was no turning back now. Their cocks swelled in preparation for release. Applejack saw Flim's balls leap up, and then felt two thick shots travel up their urethrae.
“Semen, semen, semen, semen...”
Two huge loads splattered into her womb and stomach. Her lovers collapsed on top of her, pressing her belly against the floor, as they fired shot after shot deep inside. Her eyes rolled madly in their sockets as their massive loads made her stomach swell.
“Semen, semen, semen, semen...”
It felt so good. She felt like an all-you-can-hump buffet, and the Flim Flam Brothers were gorging themselves. Each had already dumped about a litre in her, and their spasming cocks kept shooting scrumptious sticky sticky semen salvos.
“Semen, semen, semen, semen...”
Her eyes bulged. Much more of this, and she might pop like a balloon! Their still spurting dicks slowly withdrew, showing her abused holes mercy, and when they were all the way out, they shot a few generous ropes of cum all over her face and flank.
The chanting stopped.
“Okay, that's a wrap!” came a voice from inside the machine.
Applejack stared at it with blurry eyes. A hidden door on the side of one of the lens-covered boxes opened, and Fancy Pants and Fleur Dis Lee stepped out.
Flim and Flam lay side by side, panting and covered in sweat.
“How'd we do?” said Flim.
Flam wiped his face. “Good?”
“Oh, yes,” said Fleur, licking some of her cum off her forehoof. “Most exquisite.”
“I say,” said Fancy Pants, adjusting his monocle, “this debut video of 'Bang Bronies' will be quite the smashing success. Don't you think, Applejack?”