Entry #4592
"Hi, everypony! It's me, Derpy!"
"And I'm Raindrops."
"Together, we're Derp 'n Drops! Thanks for coming out today!"
"Yeah, thanks."
"Uh, 'Drops? Are you okay? You don't seem that excited."
"Well, I've never done anything like this before, Derpy."
"Neither have I. What's your point?"
"Well, aren't you nervous?"
"Nope!"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm with my best friend, and we're gonna have fun and give it our all!"
"Heh, wow. I wish I was as carefree as you, Derpy. Nothing seems to bother you. Alright, let's try our best."
"Um, funny you should say that, 'Drops. I'm actually in a bit of trouble right now."
"Huh? What do you mean, Derpy?"
"It's my job. I'm getting complaints about something, and I don't know how to fix it."
"Well, tell me about it. I'll see what I can do to help."
"Thanks, 'Drops. You're a true friend."
"Anytime. So, what's the problem?"
"Well, you know Cloud Chaser, right?"
"Of course I know her."
"Him."
"What?"
"Cloud Chaser's a stallion, 'Drops. Remember? He's part of the Equestrian Society for the Preservation of Rare Creatures, and he likes to wear that headband a lot."
"Oh~! You mean Cloud Chaser! Sorry, I thought you said Cloudchaser."
"I, did say that."
"Never mind, Derpy. So, what's this about Cloud Chaser?"
"Well, he's getting mad at me, and I don't know why. He says that I keep giving him somepony else's mail, but I don't know how that's possible. The envelopes are clearly addressed to him."
"Do you have one of these envelopes with you?"
"Sure, here you go."
"Ah. Okay, I see the problem."
"You do?! Boy, that was quick! You're so smart, 'Drops!"
"It should be pretty obvious, Derpy. Look, see? This letter is addressed to Cloudchaser, not Cloud Chaser."
"Wait, is it addressed to him, or isn't it?"
"It's not, Derpy. It's addressed to Cloudchaser. You know, Flitter's sister?"
"I thought her sister's name was Stormwalker."
"Must you continue to get that wrong? She doesn't like that, y'know."
"Hold on, hold on. If Stormwalker is really Cloud Chaser, then what's the name of that stallion who's getting mad at me?"
"Cloud Chaser."
"But you just said that Stormwalker was Cloud Chaser."
"Derpy, they're both Cloudchaser."
"Wh-what? 'Drops, that doesn't make any sense! They can't both be Cloud Chaser!"
"They are, Derpy. They have the same name. It's just spelled differently."
"You can do that?!"
"Wh—? Yes, of course you can do that! It's like the difference between to, two, and too!"
"Doesn't that make six? Or is it negative four because difference implies subtraction?"
...
"What? What?"
"Please tell me you're joking."
"Well, we are doing standup comedy."
"Ugh, walked right into that one."
"You're just standing there, 'Drops."
"Not what I— Okay, let's try this. You know Daring Do, right?"
"Yeah-huh."
"And you know your daughter Dinky Doo, right?"
"Of course I know my own daughter. I'm not an idiot, 'Drops."
"No, but it's sometimes very hard to tell with you."
"What?"
"Nothing. Anyway, you don't think Daring and Dinky are related, do you?"
"What? Pfft~! Bwahahahaha~! Don't be silly, 'Drops! My daughter's not a fictional character!"
"That's not what I meant. I mean, doesn't it sound like they have the same last name?"
"Yeah, but Daring Do's last name only has one o in it. Dinky's has two."
"There you go. That's the difference between Cloud Chaser and Cloudchaser."
"Ooooooo— Wait. Which one's Daring Do?"
"Wh—? Hu—? Neither of them are Daring Do!"
"But you just said that the two Cloud Chasers are like Daring Do and Dinky!"
"I meant that they— Ugh, forget it. This is just flying over your head."
"Well, help me fly higher and catch it, 'Drops! I don't want Cloud Chaser to be mad at me anymore!"
"Okay, okay! Just calm down. It's not the end of the world."
"Y-yeah, you're right. This isn't nearly as bad as the piano incident."
"I thought we agreed never to speak of that again."
"Oops. Sorry, I keep forgetting."
"It's alright. We'll just try something else."
"Like what?"
"Well, tell me something. What sticks out to you about Cloud Chaser?"
"Oh, that's easy. He always wears that snazzy-looking headband, and he helped Flitter with the breezies when they came through Ponyville."
"Good, good. Now, what do you know about Cloudchaser?"
"I just told you that, 'Drops."
"Ugh, I mean Stormwalker."
"Oh~! Her, right. Yes. Well, she's a Wonderbolt Cadet like you, and she has a very weird mane."
"Alright, so you know who the two ponies are."
"Of course I do. I have to deliver their letters, after all."
"Good. Now, here's how you can tell them apart."
"Okay."
"The Wonderbolt Cadet is Cloudchaser which is spelled as one word. The pony with the headband is Cloud Chaser, which is spelled as two words."
"Oooh~! I see! Wonderbolt, one word! Band pony, two words!"
"Now you're getting it! Well done, Derpy!"
"I couldn't have done it without you, 'Drops. You're a great friend."
"Heh, thanks. So, let's go back to that letter you gave me."
"Uh-huh."
"It's addressed to Cloudchaser, which is spelled as one word. Where does it go?"
"Hmm. Hmmmmm~."
"It's not that hard, Derpy. You can do this."
"Okay, I know what to do."
"Yes?"
"I make a copy of the letter and give it to them both! That way, I don't get it wrong!"
"Eph— Ack— Derpy, why would you do that?! You already know which is which!"
"Well, I thought I did, but then I remembered that Stormwalker's not a Wonderbolt. She's a Wonderbolt Cadet, which is also two words. I also remembered that Cloud Chaser doesn't play in a band, so calling him Band Pony would make no sense, and it just got all confuzzling."
"But that still doesn't solve the problem! You're still giving Cloudchaser's mail to Cloud Chaser!"
"Don't I want to do that?"
"No! I mean, yes! I mean— Ugh, forget it. I completely lost you."
"How'd you do that, 'Drops? I'm right here."
"I didn't mean it literally! It's just that you're impossible to reason with!"
"Sorry, 'Drops. It's just the way it is."
"W-wait. No, don't say it."
"But it's true, 'Drops. I just..."
"Don't say it."
"...don't know..."
"Oh, Celestia, you're gonna say it."
"...what went wrong!"
"You know full well what went wrong! Now cut it out!"
"Thank you very much!"