A/N This is from the perspective of Eld. I've been developing my writing style. Hope you like it.
"Time to grab my Ipod and forget about the world." I thought to myself
I don't know how long I sat there just daydreaming about me being the hero and just generally having adventures. *DING* "Oh jeez it's already midnight. Might as well get to my usual work. My "usual work" was working on designs for weapons mostly modifications for existing guns. It helped kill time and I was just waiting for my parents to come home. But at about three in the morning I started to get worried. "God Damn it's hot in here". My dark brown hair was matted to my head which didn't look different from my usual style.
*Crack* "Oookay the fuck was that?" I asked myself Just as timing would have it my shelf fell down giving me a heart attack.
"JESUS"S PUBIC HAIR! I shouted FUCK ME I SWEAR I'M HAVING THE WORST OF LUCK TODAY."
"Trust me your day is going to get a lot better." A voice said
"WHO SAID THAT?" I shouted moving my back to a wall
" Sleep now my child. You have much to do still."
Lo and behold I fell asleep. I woke up to find myself in a completely white room. I started panicking until a calming aura fell upon me silencing me for once. Then I felt my body become unresponsive which made me start panicking again.
"Dear child have you no faith in your creator?' A booming voice asked me
"God?"
"Yes I'm glad you are here and in one piece. But I must ask of you one favor." He asked me once again
"Yyyeah shoot." I said scared for once in my life
"Well It seems that you have been chosen by Archangel Micheal to take on this task." God said in his loud booming voice
"Well whats the problem that needs solving" I said my voice finding strength once again
"That will be up to you to decide how to deal with it when the time comes. This world is beyond my reach and it takes much of my strength to send you there. Once there you have to find your way back. St Micheal will give you your weapons and armor. Now it's time you met him."
"Wait if you're God then how am I here?" I asked curious as to how I was in heaven.
"That's easy you're house collapsed in on itself during an earthquake. You are dead."
I got over that quickly enough mainly because a door appeared out of nowhere and who I assume to be St Micheal stepped out.
"St Micheal?" I asked the angel walking over. He simply nodded and set down a package wrapped in old brown paper on a table. He was dressed in armor that was pure white with a golden sword that would make any soldier jealous. He had brown hair and piercing blue eyes.
"Well Mr.Eld it seems God has chosen another hero yet again. He pulled out a set of white knights armor (Like this ) Now this armor is different than usual. This is it's natural form but if you want to change it then it will shift forms to whatever you want."
He proceeded to pull out a sword.
Now this sword is a special sword it listens to no entity but the hero it's bound to. Which is you. It IS a fighting sword so expect combat."
"I thought angels didn't fight."
"I am the warrior angel,the patron saint of the armed forces. Violence is not something I abstain from. Now to try on this armor. He snapped his fingers and the armor appeared on me. It was heavy as hell. The sword was hanging from my waist. Pretty bad ass if you ask me.
Now you won't remember anything after your dumped on that world as it's in another universe which God has no presence in. So say any prayers before you leave as you won't remember why your there."
I said nothing. Everything turned white.
Equestria Minutes before Eld arrives
Princess Celestia had been fighting the Chaos Being that was threatening Fillydelphia. Alongside her stood the Elements of Harmony,A platoon of Royal Guards and her sister. No matter what they did it wouldn't go down. The Royal Guards were having an even worse time fighting the biped. It moved with amazing speed and agility. The guards were holding their own.
Eld's POV
I woke up on a hill. Sounds of fighting were coming to my ears. I stood up and looked down at my clothes and started wondering why I was wearing an MCCUU I was never in the military so it confused me. I also had a gold short sword on my belt. I began wandering towards the sound of battle. What I saw surprisingly didn't shock me I couldn't put my finger on it but it seemed something happened before I got here.
I saw ponies fighting these silhouettes. One was a person the other was a dragon. There were eight ponies. Six normal looking ones and two that looked like royalty. There was an orange one and a blue pegasus that looked to be in critical condition. I rushed in and stood between the battered ponies and the creature.
I asked the tall white one "Do you need me to kill it?" She simply nodded
I muttered a prayer to St Micheal the Archangel. I don't know why but it seemed fitting. I unsheathed my sword and raised it getting into a fighting stance. The thing charged me I dove to the side and brought my sword up stabbing it in the back of the leg. It reached back and swatted me away. I groaned in pain and got to my feet and charged at it energy surging through my body.
I hit it with my shoulder pushing it back a couple of feet. I slashed it across it's chest the thing howled in pain. It tried to hit me but I moved out of the way and stabbed it in the throat. It was easy to fight this thing it was only about twelve feet high standing on it's hind legs so it was about half that height. Me being 5'11 was able to hit it with relative ease. It reared back and started gagging on it's own blood it hit the ground becoming weaker. I stabbed it in the head killing it I wasn't shocked it had disappeared.
The biped one realized it's brethren had fell in combat. It didn't want to fight me anymore so it disappeared in a cloud of black.
I felt something hugging me. I looked down and saw it was a pink pony. She was crying and hugging me I felt really bad.
"Thank you so much for saving my friends. She sobbed into my chest. I would never smile again if something happened to them ."
"Pinkie that's enough. A voice said soothingly but commanding
I turned to find myself face to face with the tall regal looking alicorn
My name is Princess Celestia this is my sister Princess Luna. I see you've met Pinkie Pie the Element of Laughter. Allow me to introduce the rest of the Elements of Harmony. My most faithful student Twilight Sparkle."
"PRINCESS. Twilight's voice was urgent It's Rainbow Dash and Applejack they are seriously hurt."
I don't know what compelled me to do what I did or how I did it but I did. I walked over to the two ponies lying on the ground. One was screaming about her wings and how she'll never fly again. The other was shouting about how she couldn't buck apples anymore. I placed my hands upon them and they started glowing white. The others looked at me in shock. I healed them to the point were they were able to walk and in the pegasus's case fly.
"My wings...... She said in disbelief You healed them." She hugged me in pure joy. The other one gave me a hug too. "Ah can't rightly thank you fer helin mah legs. So ah'd like to invite you to a dinner at the with mah family at our house." She said But me and Rainbow can't pay ya back fer all the good you jus did fer us."
"It's really no problem at all. You needed help I gave it to you and your friend."
Pinkie Pie ran up and started to ask me questions.
"Do you like parties? and cupcakes......wait I know I'LL THROW YOU A PARTY YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT." She dashed off leaving me chuckling
"Extraordinary can you do that continually or does it make you tired?" Princess Celestia asked me
"Where I'm from that's not supposed to happen." I told her
"I take it you aren't supposed to have wings then?" Rainbow Dash asked me
"No I'm not. But for some reason I'm not shocked." I told them
After that they finished introducing me and explaining the elements of harmony to me.
"Wait Mr....... Rainbow was saying
"Just call me Jake,Jake Eld" I told her
"Okay Jake how about you stay at my house since you have wings. Or did have wings what the buck happened to them!?" She sounded really worried at that last statement
"I guess like my healing powers they just disappear at times." I said shrugging
"Oh ah know whadda you say to stayin at mah family's farm?" Applejack asked me
"Sounds good. But do you know any good places to eat?" I asked them
I ended up eating a couple cupcakes Pinkie made for me. And dear god were they delicious spongy little bastards.
"You like them? She asked me bouncing around the room. I simply nodded She squee'd in delight and brought a box of them out for me. Take them you earned them." She told me before ushering me off to Applejack's house
As I walked up to the front door ready to knock a large red stallion appeared to my right side.
"Now just what in the hay are you?" He asked me sounding more than angry
"BIG MACINTOSH WHAT IN THE HAY DO YOU THINK YER DOING. Applejack hollered at him THIS HERE IS A FRIEND OF MINE AN YOU BEST BE ON GOOD BEHAVIOR. She turned to me Ah'm mighty sorry bout Big Macintosh."
"Don't be he was just protecting his family."
"That's mighty kind of you Jake."
Applejack and her family had dinner. It turns out hay on this world tastes pretty damn good. After that Applejack told the story of me taking on the creature and defeating it. Then she mentioned that I had saved her legs and Rainbow's wings. Big Macintosh looked pretty guilty at that moment.
After that I was shown the guest room and I finally fell asleep after replaying the days events in my head.
A/N Any feedback is appreciated. Also credit to Cancel Insanity for giving me amazing feedback
I had woken up and went downstairs to find a note on the table.
"Dear Jake me an the girls are going into town to meet RD's friend o hers so we might be a while. Come find us iffin yer not to busy."-Applejack
How do they write with their hooves? Nevermind not important. I headed in the direction I came to the farm from. Seriously craving cupcakes. It wasn't that difficult finding Sugarcube Corner I mean it's a giant gingerbread house.
"HIYA JAKE WHATCHA LOOKING FOR?" Pinkie Pie asked me with a megaphone. No seriously a megaphone don't ask
"I was wondering if you knew where I could make money for clothes and some of these sweets I see in here." I asked
"Oh you silly willy just go see Rarity for clothes and you can always get some cupcakes from me." She said in one breath
Right at that moment she handed (hoofed?) me a tray of cupcakes. Then she bolted off saying something about griffins and Rainbows. I chuckled to myself but started heading to Rarity's shop. It took about five minutes and a lot of apologizing to a class that belonged to a Ms.Cheerilee. She settled for me telling the class how I saved the Elements of Harmony and The Princesses. Applebloom and a orange and purple maned filly named Scootaloo hugged me for saving Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
After that I finally made it to Rarity's Carousel Boutique (Spelled it right. I'm surprised as hell.) I heard arguing coming from inside.
"FOR THE LAST TIME STRONGHOOF LEAVE ME ALONE!" Rarity shouted sounding as though ready to kill.
I heard a loud smacking sound and ran in to find a stallion who I presume to be Stronghoof standing over Rarity hoof raised. Now at this point I'm visibly pissed. When I male hits a female I get beyond pissed.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" I screamed at him my voice dripping with hate. He visibly flinched but all the same charged at me hoping to hurt me. This wasn't the case I stayed infront of him and brought my knee up. While my armor shifted to a pure black armor with spiked shoulder pieces. His head came into contact with my raised knee. The stallion was out like a light. In a flash guards were here apparently notified by Rarity. My armor shifted back into the normal outfit for it I guess. (This is what I wear usually)
"Oh how can I ever thank you?" Rarity was asking me sobbing slightly
"Well if you can make me a set of normal clothes and work clothes than I would be grateful. Of course I'll make sure to pay you back once I find work." I told her
"Oh heavens no! You will let me make them for free. It's the least I can do for you after all you have done for my friends and I." She told me
"Rarity you are as generous as you are beautiful." I told her making her blush slightly
After hours of being measured by Rarity she left to a party for a friend of Rainbow's I sighed slightly kind of sad I wasn't invited but it didn't bother me that much. I walked over to Sugarcube Corner to see if anything interesting was happening over there. I looked in through the window and saw what appeared to be a griffon setting off pranks. She seemed to be getting pretty angry then she was yelling then Dash was yelling. Pinkie tried to intervene but got smacked down by the griffons claw. When Dash stepped in she suffered the same fate.
I ran in pissed as hell. "JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!? I screamed at her after bursting in through the door. YOU DO NOT HARM MY FRIENDS!" I shouted at her scaring her and everypony in the building
She moved and brought a claw down on my chest drawing blood. I shifted back and grabbed her by the claw hurling her out of the bakery. When she tried to get up I kicked her in the chest and screamed at her
"YOU WILL NOT HURT MY FRIENDS OR I WILL HURT YOU."
I picked her up and through her with surprising strength she hit a cloud and stayed up on it. Scared of me. I didn't want to fight. Especially someone who was too scared to try and fight. Then as luck would have it as soon as I turned my back.
The griffon hit me in the back her claws tearing my skin open. Pain and anger were the only emotions I felt at that moment. I stood up and turned to face the griffon. A look of surprise on her face as I shifted into Roman Legionary Armor. I went for my sword and found it changed to a golden gladius. I unsheathed it and charged into the griffon.
I slashed at the griffon missing but showing I mean business. I slashed across her chest hoping she would back off. She didn't I kept slashing and stabbing only wanting to protect my friends. They were what motivated me to keep fighting. I grew tired of being on the defensive after a while. I grabbed her and unfurled my wings. With a few flaps I had taken off flying above the clouds. I turned and flew down still holding on to the struggling griffon. I was going fast enough to break the sound barrier. A cone formed around me I kept flying wanting to end this. It broke and a sound not like the boom I was expecting but a sound like a sword on sword. A flash appeared above me I hit the ground absorbing most of the impact so I didn't kill the griffon.
I stood up and surveyed the damage. A cross was still lingering in the sky white as the moon. Royal Guards showed up and arrested the griffon completely ignoring me. I turned to face the girls and found them staring at me fear and awe mixed together. I was worried that they would hate me now. Dash flew up to me and stared me in the eyes.
"That was........SO AWESOME." She said
"How did you do that?" Twilight asked me
"You sure as sugar showed her who means business." Applejack was saying
"yay" Fluttershy cheered? I guess so it was adorable as hell though
Pinkie just kept bouncing around me saying how awesome I am. It felt good to be cheered on for once. Well anyways after that the girls realized how late it was and one by one they started falling asleep. They looked adorable as hell while sleeping. Rainbow was the only one still awake.
"Hey RD can you show me where everyone lives?"
She nodded and then asked me "Don't you mean everypony?"
"Shut up" I grumbled making her giggle
After taking the pink ball of energy upstairs to her room I made my way downstairs and took two armfuls of ponies. I arrived at the Carousel Boutique and walked inside accidently waking Sweetie Bell up.
"What are you doing with my sister?" She asked me sleepily
"You ponies are so adorable. Anyways i'm taking her to her bed." I walked Rarity to her room and on the way out picked Sweetie Bell up and took her back to her room. After an hour of walking around ponyville and a run in with a small dragon who scratched up my legs pretty badly. I made it back to Sweet Apple Acres and walked Applejack upstairs to her room.
"Hey Jake since you have wings and I have a free room......" Rainbow mumbled
"I would love to stay at your house." I said
Her eyes lightened up at that thought. We took off across the night sky. A rainbow and and a gold streak across the sky.
"Tommorow is your day Mr.Eld." Saint Micheal mumbled to himself as he watched the days events unfold
Wrath speaks like this Divine speaks like this I think in this
Come on Jake you need to get up.
Who the fuck said that?
Great now we have to explain. *Sigh* Alright so we are your conscience.
So to speak we are the product of what brought us here.
So you guys are me but part of my mind?
I guess so. We are you but are stuck in your mind.
Yeah I'm Wrath the part of you that wants to fight or hurt people who threaten our friends
I'm Divine the more calm part of you.
This is gonna be weird as hell but whatever.
That's the spirit!
I got up and wandered through Rainbow's house wondering where the hell she went.
Hey look a note.
"Hey Jake whenever your lazy flank decides to get up Twilight needs to talk to you about something important." -RD
Might as well head to Twilight's house then
Breakfast first. Then whatever the hell they want.
I agree
I chuckled to myself as I walked out of the house. I unfurled my wings and flew towards Sugarcube Corner craving for one of those spongy little bastards they call cupcakes. No seriously I was living off of cupcakes and apples which didn't make Pinkie Pie and Applejack too mad. As I landed in the middle of town I heard a voice call out.
"THERE HE IS GET HIM!"
I tried to say something but was hit over the head and tied up. I think I've been thrown in a chariot of some sort. About half an hour later I felt the chariot slow and come to a stop. I was pulled from the chariot. Whoever bound me up was a moron they left enough room for me to get free. But I was curious as to where they were taking me. About another fifteen minutes my feet left the paved ground and were on sandy ground kind of like being on a beach. They finally took my mask off so I could see again. I was standing in a coliseum I turned around to find myself facing at least forty royal guards.
"Are you Royal Guards?" I asked
"Nope we are recruits but by beating you the generals will realize we deserve to be Royal Guards."
After that he signaled about twenty others to circle me.
WHAT DO WE DO TO DESERVE THINGS LIKE THIS?
I don't know but I am ready to kick some ass.
This might be fun
My armor shifted back into it's original white knight form. Intimidating several of the rookies but they still stood their ground. Three pegasi charged me hoping for a quick take down. I brought my knee up and the lead pegasi hit it full force knocking himself out. I grabbed the one on my right side and slammed him into the ground doing some damage. The one on my left hit my legs trying to do some damage which due to my armor he just knocked himself out.
I was swarmed by at least ten I grabbed one by the back of his neck and hurled him into three others. The others hit me from behind knocking my helmet off. They held me down and took turns punching me in the face. I struggled under the weight of the armored ponies. I was getting extremely pissed off.
Let us help with that.
I felt anger surging through my body I assumed Wrath was providing that. Divine was providing me with a combat feed that gave me options to do when fighting.
I AM DIVINE WRATH YOU WILL FEAR ME! I thundered out three voices in one
I threw the guards off of me and got up rushing in taking down three guards every minute. Their armor was crunching beneath my hits. The strongest ones there couldn't hurt me the unicorns grew worried because the spells they were throwing at me weren't doing anything.
"Jake please stop attacking my guards." Princess Celestia Commanded me
"I wasn't attacking them. I was defending myself they came and abducted me from ponyville. I explained to her
"YOU WHAT? Princess Celestia said furiously to the recruits
YOU ASSAULTED A FRIEND OF MINE AND EQUESTRIA'S. HE SAVED ME FROM A CHAOS BEING I DON'T THINK ANY OF YOU COULD TAKE ONE DOWN SINGLE HANDEDLY LIKE HE DID. Just go now pack up your stuff and consider yourself dismissed from the academy. She said still sounding pissed as hell
She turned to me with a kind expression on her face replacing the angry one. She sighed and gave me an apologetic expression
Twilight Sparkle and her friends have been waiting for you. How about we have a nice lunch and they can tell you why they've been wanting to tell you all day."
"Sounds like a plan. But those guards were trying to get on your good side. So don't make them quit just give em hell."
"What's hell?"
I chuckled and shook my head as the Princess and I walked towards the castle. It took about fifteen minutes to get there but when we did.
FOOD!
CUPCAKES!
SILENCE!
"Jake where have you been? We have something important to tell you!"
"Shush my fair Twilight I believe that the news you need to convey can wait until after I have had sustenance." I said in my best Shakespearean accent
"But..." She began
"I just kicked the flanks of forty Royal Guard recruits. I deserve something to eat. I said stuffing my face with cupcakes
Oh how I missed you spongy little bastards! I said
Pinkie bounced around the room as usual obviously happy that I like her cupcakes
Hey Pinkie,Applejack you should make a cupcake made from your family's apples and Pinkie can sell them giving you a cut of the profit." I said having an idea in the heat of the moment
Applejack just sat there slack jawed thinking about how good of an idea that was. Pinkie just kept bouncing around. Twilight tapped her hoof impatiently getting my attention.
"Jake I need to know if you know what this means. The child of fire shall brave the gates of Hades and battle the own who controls the way in and out."
"Well it has to be me because my last name means fire in swedish. As for Hades gates I assume he means the underworld. Don't know who would put that there though."
My fighting senses are kicking in. We need to get up and find our sword NOW
I stood up startling everypony I looked at my sword where it would normally be which it wasn'tn but I noticed one of my gauntlets had a gold band around it. I stared at it hoping it would shift into my sword which sure enough it did. In my hand was my Roman Gladius. I turned around to find myself facing a man dressed in gold armor with a cross on his chest plate he was armed with a plain sword from the crusader era.
"Jake so nice to see you. I see you have made yourself some friends how nice. Come now it's time to leave." The man said
"Leave? You must be out of your damn mind. I don't know who the hell you are but I will fight you if you try and separate me from my friends. I don't even know who in the hell you are." I told him
"Ah allow me to enlighten you.
He moved with blinding speed and was in my face. He tapped his index finger to my head. My head felt like it was being split open. It hurt so goddamned much but I remembered who was standing in front of me.
Now you remember. Good now it's time to go to hell. I don't take to kindly to people not believing in the creator.
He grabbed me and shoved me to the ground. I felt myself slipping through the floor then I was falling for what felt like hours. When I finally hit the ground it shook me back to reality. In front of me was hell it was a city where the souls who weren't allowed in heaven where sent. They were allowed to roam free in the city.
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto.
Shut the hell up.
HA! Were in hell and you told him to shut the hell up.
SHUT UP DIVINE
I turned to find myself facing a giant stone gate which I assumed would let me out of this "Hellhole"
I leapt to the side as the guardians broadsword crashed into the ground where I had been standing a few moments before. I slashed under his guard cleaving through his ribs. The guardian gave a grunt of pain and kicked me in the ribs making my armor crumple from the blow. I rolled with the hit pushing myself up so I could avoid a follow up hit. I moved directly infront of him shifting my sword into a spear. I moved to his left and jabbed his arm forcing him to drop his broadsword. I moved in to try and deliver the killing blow. He grabbed me and pulled me close to his helmet.
"When I am through with you I will go to your world and destroy everything you love."
He threw me into the lava near the base of the city. I waited for myself to die, For the pain to come. It never did.
Eld means fire in Swedish.
You're point being?
I think we're immune to fire and burns of any kind.
Badass, grab some lava and throw it at the guardian.
I rose from the lava. The guardian was hit directly in the face.
HEADSHOT!
PLUS 100
KILLSTREAK EARNED: CAREPACKAGE
Rank up:Level 69 achieved
All joking aside I ran up to the guardian and grabbed him by the shoulders forcing him on the ground.
BLOWJOB!
Not gay
Just melted his face off.
Oh yeah I forgot
I watched as my hands started glowing white which then washed over the guardian. A few seconds later the guardian was gone leaving only his broadsword and a stone. On an impulse I picked up the sword which was absorbed into my sword. I slipped the stone into my a leather pouch tied to my belt. I walked over to the gate and tried to push it open.
It didn't work, on an impulse I pulled the stone from the leather pouch I kept it in.A white light emitted from my hands when it cleared. The door was steel I pushed it open and walked through being blinded by another light. When I could finally see I replaced the stone back in its new home.
"How are you still walking around?" Saint Micheal asked me looking at me in awe
I didn't give him a chance to say anything else as I used my wings to propel myself over to him knocking him down. I drew my blade and pointed it at his throat. He kicked me off of him and slashed through my armor piercing my lung. As it became harder and harder to breathe and my vision started to become tinged with black he said something that screwed him over.
"When I'm done with you I'm gonna find your little pony friends and make them suffer."
"I WILL FUCKING END YOU" I shouted in fury
I rushed over to him and grabbed him throwing him across the throne room of the castle. I summoned fire in my hands and threw a ball of it like a baseball. It hit him square in the chest setting his armor on fire. He ignored it and moved slightly to my left thrusting his sword between my ribs almost incapacitating me. I felt my armor get thicker and my sword changed into that of the guardians. St Micheal looked on nervous as I picked him up and threw him straight into the ground cracking the hard marble.
"We will continue this at a later time Mr.Eld." Micheal said teasingly
In a flash of light he disappeared leaving me alone for the moment. I left the throne room walking into the hallway where the girls were waiting obviously scared to move. I leaned down and picked up the clothes Rarity had made for me I walked into a restroom to change. She had made me a plain black t-shirt and a pair of jeans for the while I was here. I changed and walked out.
"Why do you keep fighting even if it seems you are going to lose?" Princess Celestia asked me
"These six ponies here are the driving force for why I fight. If I give up easily than I might have let something happen to them. I will protect them to my last breath."
"Jake what are those on your arms?" Rainbow asked me
I looked down on my arms and saw all of the girl's cutie marks on my arms. All except Rainbow Dash's.
"Why isn't my cutie mark on your arm?" Rainbow asked sounding hurt
I took my shirt off and looked on my chest and there it was over my heart. I put my shirt back on and looked at Rainbow who was blushing slightly.
"Jake is that my cutie mark on your hands?" Celestia asked me
I looked down on my hands and saw a sun emblazoned on my right palm and a moon on my left palm.
"What do you think this means." Twilight asked me sounding confused
"It means that I will always be here to protect you. Until my last breath." I replied picking them all up in a bear hug
After that I turned to Celestia and asked her if she and I could talk in private.
"What is it that you needed to talk about?" Celestia asked me
"Well I was wondering if you knew anything about this stone." I said producing the stone from my pocket
She gasped and ran from the room leaving me thoroughly confused. She came back in leading a stallion with a black coat and a gray mane.
"Jake this is Vicenzo the lead royal alchemist here. Please show him that stone you have."
I pulled the stone from my pocket and handed it over to Vincezo.
"After all these years of searching it's been found." Vincezo said sounding ecstatic
"What is so important about that stone?" I asked
"I assume you know what the Philosopher's Stone is right?"
"Yeah... Wait you mean to tell me that I just found the Philosopher's Stone?" I said sounding slightly excited
"Exactly. Would you be willing to sell it to the laboratories?" He asked me
"I will loan it to you but sell it I will not." I told him
After about another fifteen minutes we worked out a deal. I would be getting a monthly salary of 3,500 bits without even having to work. This was a good life and I even got a share of the elixirs of immortality. After signing a contract I left and made my way to Twilight's house to break the good news to the girls.
Since we are making some decent ass money maybe we could take Rainbow on a date.
Even though I feel that way about Rainbow I don't think she feels that way about me.
Why are we depressing ourselves? We are making decent money and have friends who are awesome to hangout with.
Yeah you're right lets just take all of them out for a nice night out.
I walked over to Twilight's door and was about to knock when I heard voices from inside. Going against better judgement I pressed my ear to the door.
"Twilight I'm so confused about these feelings. What if he doesn't like me back and doesn't want to be my friend anymore?"
"Jake is not like that I think you should listen to Applejack and just be honest with him. I think he would appreciate that the most." Twilight said
"Oh darling I think its just wonderful you like a stallion.....er man. One that is a fighter and protects us. He is even good friends with your friends." Rarity said
My heart exploded with joy at hearing that Rainbow actually liked me. I chose this moment to walk into the library and tell the girls the news about my job. I opened the door scaring all of the girls.
"So guess who just made a great contribution to science and is now getting payed 3,500 bits a month." I said
"What contribution did you make?" Twilight asked me
"Well I am the proud new owner of the Philosopher's Stone." I said in my best british accent
Twilight started asking me many questions but Applejack put her hoof in Twilight's mouth
"Who wants to go out for a round of drinks? I'll pay for everypony" I asked
"Ooh I would love to but I need to take care of my animals. If thats alright with you that is." Fluttershy said quietly
Everypony else but Pinkie and Shy were up for it. Applejack and Rainbow showed me their favorite bar. The Drunken Princess
"Hows about I show ya how we drink on the farm." Applejack asked me
"An old fashioned drinking contest it is then. Bartender a dozen of your strongest drinks."
The bartender dropped twelve glasses of a clear looking liquid infront of me.
"Bottoms up!" I said and downed a glass in one go
I tasted like soda more specifically vanilla coke. I downed another three glasses and looked at Applejack still drinking her first glass. I drank the rest of mine as Applejack passed out after her fourth glass. I wasn't even slightly tipsy. I stood up and grinned at Rainbow after I put Applejack over my shoulder.
"We should probably get her back home. Night everypony!" I said as Rainbow and I left the bar
After dropping Applejack off and explaining the dangers of drinking to Applebloom, Rainbow and I flew up to her house in the clouds. I opened the front door for her and bowed earning me a giggle from her.
"Listen Rainbow I got something to tell you." I began
"Wait me first it's pretty important. I kind of like you." she said her voice decreasing at the end of her sentence
"I like you too Rainbow. Do you want to be my marefriend?" I said looking her in the eyes
At hearing that she sprung up from the floor and started zooming around me in joy. I laughed and grabbed her and hugged her tight not wanting to let her go. Sh nuzzled my face in affection.
"Alright lets go to bed because I for one am tired." She said leading me towards her room
I shrugged and laid down after stripping down to my boxers to sleep. I layed there as Rainbow hugged my chest and snored lightly. A few minutes later I found sleep.
A/NYeah the story is face paced but in the off time that I haven't been writing this i've been writing a self insert that is [Check it out) And finally shoutout to FlyingEagle93 for encouraging me to continue writing.
I woke up at about nine but with Rainbow sleeping with her head on my chest i couldn't get up. Nor did I want to it was time to enjoy life while I was here. I let out a contented sigh and smiled while keeping a conversation up with Wrath and Divine.
Do we have plans for today?
Do we ever have plans besides getting in some sort of trouble?
I try not to.
Does it ever work?
Touche
*Yawn* "You just needed to move me if you wanted to get up." Rainbow said rubbing her eyes
"Yeah but I just want to kick back and enjoy life for once. Instead of fighting constantly. Hmm Tell the girls to meet me at that cafe we always go to in an hour. I have some business to take care of." I said flying out the window instead of the door
Why didn't we use the door?
Why can't I equip two shields in Skyrim?
Why can't I hold all these lemons?
Why can't I believe it's not butter?
At that moment I collided with a tree. Which wasn't fun
Why don't you fly straight?
Why don't you suck my balls Divine?
I picked myself up and walked into town and a pony.
"Oh jeez man I'm sorr.........
I lost track of my sentence as I found myself face to face with a chestnut brown stallion with a mane styled like the tenth doctor's hair. I continued looking at him for a few seconds longer before saying
The pony looked at me for a few seconds then winked at me and hoofed me a twelve pack of coke.
"Allons-y" The pony said walking away with a grey and yellow pegasus.
I shall call him Doctor Whooves!
From the planet Gallopfray
Oh god are we nerds
Be that as it may.We are nerds with the only pack of coke in Equestria
How did he know that Coke is the best soda?
Common knowledge bro.
Damn right!
Language
Oh. Sorry damn straight
I chuckled and walked into sugarcube corner. I walked up to the counter.
"Hey Mr.Cake can I get a baker's dozen of your most popular cupcakes?" I asked
"Why sure. That'll be twenty five bits." Mr.Cake Replied
I dropped seventy five on the counter.
"No Jake I can't take that much. It would be unfair." He said pushing the bits toward me
"It's a gift Mr.Cake please accept it." I said taking my box of cupcakes
He sighed and said "Fine you win. But something has been bothering Pinkie all day can you please talk to her?"
"She's my friend of course i'll talk to her." I said walking up the stairs to her room
I knocked and heard a sad sounding "Come in"
I walked in and saw what I assumed to be Pinkie still in bed. I walked over and sat down on her bed.
"Something wrong Pinkie?" I asked
"Well I had a nightmare and it scared me. I talked to Dash earlier today and that made me feel a little bit better. But it scared me." She said crawling in my lap and curling up into a ball
"I'm apparently an angel and so it is my job to protect. But most of all I will protect you and the others from anything. So you can tell me what happened in your nightmare and I won't think any less of you."
She nodded and recounted her nightmare which involved cupcakes and Rainbow Dash. I sat there and stroked her mane to calm her down. Which I think helped because her mane re-poofed.
"So I heard you and Dashie are an item now." She said grinning
"Yeah we are. I hope theres nothing wrong with that." I replied
"Nope course no silly. GASP I should throw a party!" She started going through her closet pulling out party related materials
"Wait Pinkie I don't know how Rainbow would feel about that. So lets wait and she what she wants to do. Now we need to get to the cafe on time so we aren't late." I said
Discord's Mind
Yes I think that I can break free. All this fighting has certainly been causing some sort of chaos.
"No. I shall break from you. It is my turn to finish what you cannot." A voice said
"Who are you?" Discord asked
"I am the more malevolent version of you. I will have Equestria burn beneath my feet."
At that moment a darker more twisted version of Discord appeared outside of the statue and started walking towards the castle. A murderous fire in his eyes.
Back in Ponyville
Everypony was having a good time. Rainbow and I were congratulated on us finally getting together. We were sitting around drinking coffee and having the best cupcakes made at Sugarcube Corner. It was a perfect day and nothing could make it any better or worse. Everypony in Ponyville congratulated us much to my surprise. I thought that they might have been bigots about it but my reputation turned away any of that.
I sipped on my coffee and reflected on all that had happened in the brief time that I've been here and it made me smile.
"Hey how old our all of you?" I asked
"We are all seventeen except Pinkie who's sixteen." Twilight answered
I nodded my head and became lost in thought again. But not long after I swear to god I heard an explosion in the distance.
Are we allowed to swear to god?
I don't really care.
A few seconds later a couple of Royal Guards who looked like they had been in some serious shit ran up to us.
"Ms.Sparkle The Princess is in grave danger and requires the elements of harmony and The Guardian." The leader of the guards said
"We need to make preparations but first we need to know what exactly is going on." Twilight said
"Discord has risen. But he is killing ponies who try and stop him. It's nothing any of us are prepared for please the Princess is holding off as long as she can while she waits for Luna's reinforcements." The guard said obviously scared
"You guys go. I'll meet you there in a few." I said
I ran off to a hillside where I had buried a box many nights ago. I dug it up with my hands because I didn't have time to run and get a shovel. I pulled a black box up and opened it up grabbing my pistols after chambering the six shells into each I put them in the shoulder holsters on my current outfit. A leather jacket over a plain black shirt along with boots and a faded pair of gray jeans. After arming myself and making sure I had my sword I flew to Canterlot fast enough to make Rainbow look twice.
I was flying over the castle looking for signs of battle. The castle was on fire and missing parts of it. I knew something extremely bad was happening so I flew through the roof of the throne room.
"Oh the elements of harmony. Oh you little ponies just so scare me so much I might as well surrender." Discord teased
"You'll never get away with this Discord!" Celestia Shouted
"Oh, I'm not Discord my name is Malice and i'm here to stay. Malice said as he parried a hit from Rainbow Dash
I will end all of you. Starting with you." He said grabbing Rainbow and hurling her at high speeds at a wall. She hit the wall and slid down it not moving or breathing. Celestia and the bearers of the elements of harmony wept over her body.
WE WILL FUCKING KILL HIM. I WILL SEND HIM STRAIGHT TO SATAN!
I landed in the throne room infront of Malice and shouted YOU HAVE AWAKENED DIVINE FURY
I screamed a battle cry of rage and hate. I hit Malice head on and sent him into the wall I removed my magnum from it's holster and shot him six times in the chest. He shrugged it off and dashed up to me knocking the revolver out of my hand.
"Not so tough now without your weapon huh?" He teased
I pulled my spare from inside my jacket and shot him two times in the chest he hit the gun again from my hand.
"Having fun?"
I pulled my HP-35 from my back holster and shot him six times again. The pistol jammed so i dropped it and drew my sword. I cleaved through his wing making him screech in pain. He grabbed me and through me through the castle walls I hit another stone wall and slid down it. I looked at my sword and had an idea Malice walked up to me and tried to attack again I knocked him back and drew my new weapon.
"Alright you Primitive Screwhead, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"
After that I shot him in the chest ripping it open. I grabbed Malice who was already regenerating and willed the evil away turning him to a horrid looking statue. His face twisted in pain and agony. I strapped the weapon to my back and walked through the hole in the wall. I walked over to Rainbow and put my hands on her not saying a word. I felt my life drain away and into her like I wanted. I stood up after that and watched my hands turn to sand.
I looked at the ponies who were watching me. "Remember me make sure to take care and live life to it's fullest." I said as my body turned to dust
I woke up in a white room that was all too familiar.
"You have alot of explaining to do my child." God said
A/N Thanks everyone still reading my story I know it isn't the best. When someone comments something they liked it makes me smile like an idiot and brightens up my day. So thanks to everyone for reading to the very end!
Dammit when is God and his asshat angel going to let us be?
Probably never.
I had just finished explaining to god everything that had happened.
"Well my child it seems your work on that world is done. I expect that heaven has everything you could ever want." God said
"What if I was to attempt to break free? What would happen?" I asked
"It would not happen you would have to get through me and Gabriel first." Micheal said
They grabbed me and threw me into a cell inside the white room. Leaving me alone for I don't even know how long it's been. Wrath trained me helping me become stronger. Even though I didn't have a whole lot to work with I became stronger and faster. Divine trained me in all of the combat strategies and tactics I knew and some I didn't. They constantly came in and tortured me trying to turn me into the perfect angel they wanted. It felt like years in there.
After spending so much time in that cell I got tired of looking at it so I ripped it off it's hinges and walked out of the white room.
Why didn't we do that before?
Fucked if I know.
Something slammed into me knocking me into the ground.
"You think that I will let you go?" Micheal said
"No but I think you should brush your teeth." Wrath made me say
I threw him off of me and got to my feet. I shifted my armor into it's white knight form alongside my crusader sword.
"FOR PONY!" I shouted
I rammed my blade through his armor making him grunt in pain. He knocked me down shrugging off the attack like it was nothing. He pulled the blade from his stomach and threw it on the ground. He walked up to me and grabbed me by the front of my armor and slammed me into the ground breaking my sternum. I felt it shift back into place the bones grinding against each other. After that was done I got back up and summoned my sword to my hands. (Listen To This)
My sword shifted into a roman gladuis. I did an upward slash that connected with Micheal's arm chopping it off. His arm regrew and he launched himself at me skewering me on the end of his spear. I felt myself fly off of the end of it and into a wall. My sword slid away from me but i was losing the will to fight. But I continued to because I wanted to get back to Equestria. I threw an uppercut that connected perfectly with his jaw.
"Shoryuken!"
He got up and moved in on me trying to land a hit. I crouched down and to my surprise I pulled another move off.
"Hadouken!" It hit him full force in the chest knocking him down.
He tried getting back up but I teleported right next to him. My armor shifting into an old duster and fedora and my sword changed into an all too familiar magnum. I pulled the trigger and watched the bullet hit Micheal in the temple disapating him.
"Three video game references in one minute that's gotta be a new record." I said to myself as I leapt off of the edge of heaven
Why don't we just teleport to Equestria?
Because that's a good idea and I don't get good ideas until I've done something stupid.
I teleported and found myself in the library of Twilight Sparkle. Who looked at me in surprise then anger.
"Hey Twilight, Long time no see." I said nonchalantly
"Get out." She said
"Why?" I asked completely confused
"Why? I'll tell you why. You made us believe you were dead. Rainbow hasn't been the same since that day. She's depressed you can't just come into someones life and just leave like that. Now GET OUT!" She shouted using her telekinesis to throw me out.
They hate us......
They think we abandoned them......
Don't worry I think someone else will be happy to see us.
I walked to Rarity's house and opened the door.
"Rarity? It's me I need to talk." I called out
She walked to the door Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack and Rainbow behind her. Rainbow flew over to me and hit me hard in the chest while Applejack hit me in the legs breaking them. I hope not on purpose. They looked at me and flew inside leaving me outside in the mud.
My legs repaired themselves and I got back up. I flew to the castle hoping Celestia would know what to do. I arrived and landed in the garden where I saw Celestia sitting enjoying the sun.
"Princess, I need your help." I said
"Go you are no longer allowed in my presence. Be thankful I don't kill you on the spot." She said coldly
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN THOUGH. DO YOU? FUCKING PRISSY ASS DUMB AS SHIT BITCH! I said loudly They tortured me for however long I've been gone and the only reason I didn't give up was because I wanted to come back here and see my friends. But no instead of the welcome I deserve I lost my friends. I SAVED YOUR KINGDOM. When Malice formed you couldn't stop him only I could." I was in a rage
"Fuck you and your unloving ponies. I said changing my sword into a magnum.
I lifted it up and put it to my temple.
"WAIT!" Celestia called out
I opened my eyes and was immediately tackled by a blur of white.
"Please don't Jake. I didn't know what happened it didn't occur to any of us that you couldn't return. We assumed you didn't truly love Rainbow and had just run out on her." She said letting me get back up
"I'm insulted Princess. I gave her my life if that's not true love then I don't know what is. I will always protect this place even if I'm not wanted." I said
"I think there are six of my little ponies that would like to apologize." Celestia said gesturing behind me
I turned around and saw my six friends standing behind me looking at me with teary eyes. They said nothing they just walked up to me and hugged me crying into my armor.
Many Years in the future
I stood above my friends graves alongside the two rulers of Equestria. I shifted my armor into that of the 3rd U.S Infantry Regiment. My weapon of choice was a rifle. I shot twenty one shots into the air a symbolic gesture only I had passed on to the Equines. I marched back and forth along their graves twenty one steps exactly then I would turn back and continue. I did this for one month straight because I hurt too much to stop.
I cried and whispered my prayers hoping that would mean something. I hadn't aged in the seventy years that had passed but I still remained loyal to my friends and my marefriend.
I finally feel myself becoming old and tired. It is a joyous thing after all I had been through. Wrath and Divine are no longer with me. They haven't been for many years after I sent them off to find someone else's mind and hopefully help them out like they did me. I think I'm just going to close my eyes for a second.
Canterlot Royal Cemetery
Celestia felt no more tears flow forth anymore. She had lost eight very good friends of hers. The six bearers of the elements of harmony. Twilight's assistant Spike who finally got to marry the love of his life. And Equestria's guardian and savior who defeated any evil that so much as cast a look at Equestria. He kept the girls together through all the rough times and was the glue that held this nation together. He was truly a hero.
Celestia gazed sadly at the tombstone that was emblazoned with a gold sword and shield.
Here Lies The Guardian Of Equestria
Jake Eld May Songs Be Sung About Him For Years To Come
